inadequate life

Friends Part 1

Summary: You and Bucky are friends for a long time, but lately you start to develop romantic feelings for him. One day one of Tony’s parties everything changes but maybe not the way you wanted or expected.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1947

Warnings: Fluffy and angst

Thank you @amrita31199 for beta this for me you are amazing 

credits to the gif owner

You never felt so inadequate in your life, when you left the house for one of Tony’s parties . You felt beautiful in your black strapless dress and high heels.  But as soon as you arrived at the party, you felt your heart being shattered.

You see Bucky with a beautiful blonde in his arms , when he sees you he comes in your direction kissing your cheek and pulling you to a hug “Don’t you look beautiful?” He says staring into your eyes, you smile at him with your best fake smile“Well I tried, apparently not as hard as your date.” You say sounding bitter even if that is the last thing you wanted to be or sound like.

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I love you. 

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you–
I love you harder than this heart of mine can beat.
I love you farther than these hands of mine can reach.
I love you longer than these bones of mine will last.

Perhaps, in some other world,
     where the horizons are wider than ours,
     where the oceans are deeper and the stars are brighter,
Perhaps this other world can encompass this love of mine, 
but dear heart, all I have here are 
     five inadequate fingers to caress you with and
     four inadequate limbs to hold you with and
     three inadequate words to comfort you with and
     two inadequate lips to kiss you with and
     one inadequate life to love you with.

They say, dear heart, that Love is an unstoppable force,
     and I believe them.
          I do.
It’s just that I’m also learning, day by slow day,
that there are more immovable objects than I ever thought existed. 

I cannot love you into safety. 
I cannot love away the nightmares that haunt your midnight sleep.
I cannot love together the pieces of you that they broke apart.
I cannot love us back to the past where the skies were rosier and your smiles were brighter.
I cannot love us into a future where I can promise you you will never be hurt again. 
I cannot love you back from Misery’s grasping fingers and Death’s cold hands.

I cannot even, dear heart,
     no matter how hard my heart longs and my breath shudders, 
I cannot love us into a quiet grave where we can rest, 
     side by side
     at last at peace

But dear heart, I promise you this:
I will try.
I will try until my last gasping breath
     and my last pounding heartbeat
     and my last trembling step
     and my last whimpering prayer.

I will try, dear heart,
     until we reach a quiet grave where we can rest, 
          side by side
          at last at peace

If I cannot win against the world, dear heart,
     then by God,
I will not let them win against me, either. 

INFP tip #42

This tip is not just for INFPs, it’s for anyone who ever felt inadequate, or not good enough.

« The key is not to “decide” anything about who you should be. The key is to feel your feelings. That means being present, in the moment, treating yourself with compassion, and allowing yourself space to just be in a room with other people without PROVING anything or DOING anything or SAYING anything. That means having no plan or agenda. That means simply taking up space without explaining what your intentions are. »

Neville's Boggart

Theory time: Neville’s boggart isn’t actually Snape.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “What do you mean it isn’t Snape? It’s in the books and the movies and yada yada yada”. Cool off and let me explain.

Boggarts represent what we fear the most, correct? But it doesn’t necessarily have to be literal. Harry’s boggart was a dementor, but it wasn’t the dementor itself Harry feared, but the feelings they inspired in him. Helplessness, weakness, and the inability to save/help his mother. Harry is afraid of that feeling of weakness, not the dementor itself, but the way it makes him feel.

Same with Hermione. In a post I can’t find but I’m sure you’ve all seen, someone explains that Hermione’s boggart of “failing everything” and "being expelled" is representative of Hermione’s fear of being kicked out of the wizarding world, of rejection. Not necessarily failing, though I’m sure that’s part of it, but the feeling of being rejected and pushed away.

Now, Neville. I think his actual boggart is the feeling of inadequacy. Think. From what we’ve heard about Neville’s life, Neville’s been singled out as inadequate his entire life and disastrous consequences because of it. His Great-Uncle Albie or whatever his name was thought his magic was inadequate, and pushed him off a pier and dangled and dropped him outside a window and who knows what else. His grandmother is constantly holding him against his parent’s standard of character, making him feel lacking. I seem to recall Neville not wanting the boggart to turn into his grandmother, either. And just before the lesson began, Snape made a remark that made Neville feel inadequate to be practicing magic, causing the boggart to don the guise of Prof. Snape.

I bet you anything that if Neville encountered a boggart on the summer holidays, it would take the form of his grandmother or great-uncle or the last person that made him feel like not enough.


that reddit thread going around about people who didn’t love their children genuinely terrifies me like………. how long we gonna let children grow up in emotionally negligent environments before we figure it out? just bc a parent covers their kids’ physical needs doesn’t mean they’re covering their emotional needs and those parents r gonna find their kids grow up w a whole host of emotional problems…..

anonymous asked:

If Zach hadn't found Devon and delved into a serious relationship with her, would Dylan have still desperately wanted to fall in love and feel less alone relationship wise? To me, his journal reads that the loss of Zach propelled Dylan into the desire to find someone for himself. But if he never lost all of Zach's attention, would it have mattered as much?

First of all this is a great, well thought out question. :)   I think you’re on to something: that if Dylan hadn’t witnessed his best friend ,who was similarly depressed, falling in love and being transformed positively by having a girlfriend than Dylan might not have taken noticed that he was acutely lacking in having his own soul mate too, which depressed him even more in his sense of loneliness.  
It’s a combination of all these things that Dylan took note of:  1) The fact that his best friend abandoned him and that hurt..a lot.  2) his best friend had replaced Dylan with someone else that understood Zack on a personal, intimate level..ouch (why can’t I ?!? ) . 3) His best friend now had a sense of belonging and purpose being in love, and serving the purpose of a boyfriend to his girl . In Dylan’s mind, there is no higher purpose than to have his love and have a sense of purpose and place in the universe within the context of being with his love.    In this contrast, Dylan felt he lacked while Zack’s had this streak of good fortune having ‘found love’ and being in love.   So, it made Dylan feel even more alone, strange and left out and he concluded that Love with a soul mate is what he needed to fix his life too, the same way Zack had done.   If Zack had never met a girl that changed his life, it’s hard to say whether Dylan would’ve been shaped to desperately need a love relationship as a solution to end his state of suffering.  There is something about the fact that Zack was Dylan’s best friend that he felt abandoned him that set him on this obsessive quest for love. Dylan might not have been so fixated had Zack not met Devon precisely when he did when Dylan and Zack had been so close. On the other hand, If it wasn’t Zack who found himself a girlfriend, then it would have been some of his other friends that began to have girl friends which eventually would also have given him the message that he was somehow inadequate and lacking in life because he himself did not have his love, his own True Love. 

By the way, Dylan mentions “my love” 14 times in his journal.  

To My Love
As a man, a conquerer does his deeds of
He thinks he is complete. Yet, the true
great person achieves happiness only when he
has met his soulmate.

Alone, unknown, until they first time they lay
eyes on each other. A true love is hard to come
by, yet the most fulfilling, beautiful, completing
achievement any man can have.
Some have wealth,
some have power, some have great intellect, yet i feel
an infinant # of times greater than those as i
have found my true love.

Michel Reynaud and coauthors describe ‘love passion’ as 'a universal and necessary state for human beings.’ Note the wording: passionate love is not just common; it is 'universal.’ And it’s not just nice but also 'necessary.’ Now imagine–or perhaps this is already true of you and you don’t have to imagine–that you have not been in love and have no plans to be; you are happy in your relationships with your family and friends and community, and you don’t think romantic love is something you want in your own life. These scientists, in a single sentence, have both theorized you out of existence and classified your life as inadequate.

Amatonormativity is so pervasive as to be more or less invisible except to the people it most directly affects. For everyone else, it’s become like wallpaper: however strange and ugly the pattern is, it’s there every minute of every day. If you have no reason to notice it, you won’t. If we truly want to permit and respect a diversity of life choices, we need to work at removing amatonormativity from our composite image of romantic love.

—  What Love Is: And What it Could Be by Carrie Jenkins

– I’d lay down my life for him.

Who needs sleep when you can illustrate tense scenes from Loaded March and then continue reading it? Certainly not me.

quirrell was a gifted but delicate boy, who would probably have been teased for his timidity and nerves during his school life. feeling inadequate and wishing to prove himself, he developed an (initially theoretical) interest in the dark arts. his hobbies included pressing flowers and traveling. 

happy birthday to my favorite quirrell apologist @lethallann

anonymous asked:

I wish antis realized that kinkshaming won't make anybody stop having problematic kinks. If anything, it just makes people repress that shit so it resurfaces later in unhealthy ways. I'm all the time seeing people disguising really problematic kinks as "ok" because they've internalized the shame... when it's way more healthy to be fully aware of what you're into! This helps abusers use BDSM (for example) to hurt people! Because shamed kinksters end up disguising their abuse porn as BDSM!

… I. hm. I’m getting mixed messages from this ask.

I’m all the time seeing people disguising really problematic kinks as “ok" 

shamed kinksters end up disguising their abuse porn as BDSM

what’s a ‘problematic kink’ to you? and what would you consider ‘abuse porn’? because from where I sit, kinky sex is never problematic unless any of the participants don’t consent* or fail to respect the limits of their partner(s) - no matter what outsiders might think of the turns that takes. (with a reasonable nod to not putting anyone’s life in danger.)

that aside: I agree. kinkshaming doesn’t help anyone and it does lead to people repressing their sexual tastes instead. but if someone is kinkshamed into repressing their interests, i would argue they’re more likely to just end up with an unsatisfying vanilla sex life, feeling inadequate, and possibly getting depressed than having it ‘resurface’ as anything other than … er, still being kinky.

I guess they could end up acting on kink without being able to acknowledge it’s a kink and not set good boundaries? but that could happen to anyone lacking experience or education in kinky sexual encounters.  it’s important to be fully aware of what you’re consenting to, but I’d argue that many, if not most, people who have kinks aren’t necessarily fully aware of why they have those kinks or where they come from. And that’s okay! part of the point of setting boundaries and safe ways to exit kinky scenarios is in case it ends up being too much because of surprise underlying issues (or anything else).

anyway. shame is nobody’s friend. shame is a tool for abuse - your brain going on a self-accusation spree, an abuser threatening to expose things you’re ashamed of, needing to control the actions of others in order to prevent yourself from feeling shame, etc. it doesn’t change people for the better; it just makes people want to run away and hide.

people start to heal or change for the better when they can be truthful with themselves, which shame prevents. so … anyone who wants to stop people from doing the thing they hate? maybe try some positive reinforcement instead of harassment. you might have better results.

(also here is a link to a post I like about how a kink for being hurt/hurting people can relate back to abuse.)

*personally i would count ‘anyone who is at serious risk of seeing you having sex’ as ‘participants’. (because some people have exhibitionist kinks.)

Two For the Price of One

Summary: From the moment he held little Dipper and Mabel in his arms, Stan didn’t want to let them go. So what if he didn’t have to?

My New Year’s resolution was to write more fluff, so here we are, an idea that makes me a little less sad about the twins going home after summer’s end: a universe where Grunkle Stan, with his questionable brand of parenting, raises the twins in Gravity Falls (not because the parents die, though). More on that down below. Now then, proceed to the absolute fluff under the cut (if you dare).

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Oddly Shaped

Secluded at hand of failed approval,
Built from parts which beg removal,
Inadequate acting of life performed,
Acceptance shall forever be mourned.


Your 20s

The age by which you thought you’d have everything figured out, but instead you just feel like an overgrown kid…

And you feel inadequate because shouldn’t your life be all put together by now? And your room more clean and your schedule more organized and WHAT AM I DOING?

But the only way to keep going is reminding yourself…

You’re doing okay. Most people you saw today are worried about the same things you are. I repeat: you are doing okay. Let what you did today be enough <3