I am writing this post to
deal with the misconceptions about what constitutes sibling abuse in the ACOTAR
fandom. When replying to this post, it is very important to keep the discussion
polite and respectful. Please also consider that the trivializing and belittling
of this subject can have a negative impact on survivors of this abuse who are
reading your comments. I would also request that we leave other characters out
of these discussions, especially if they have no bearing on the topic. When
using information from one of my sources, I will use a number that I assigned
to that source. A separate post with information from different articles will
be posted and tagged “sibling abuse sources”, and labeled by the same numbers. I
will also be using direct quotes from ACOTAR. I am writing this post in between
different school and regular work, so I did not have time to detail the
parental abuse (mostly in the form of neglect) also found in ACOTAR. I will
only touch on it and its tie to the sibling abuse. If needed, I will do a post
on other familial abuse later. I am a survivor of familial abuse – both
parental and sibling. Unlike Feyre, the abuse I suffered was physical as well.
When reading this post remember that I have a lot of experience with this
topic, and that others who read it and your comments may too.
Family violence is awful in all its forms, but is usually
depicted inaccurately with men as just perpetrators and women solely as victims
of abusive family acts. This study’s findings indicate that there are no gender
differences related to surviving sibling abuse or perpetrating emotional and
physical abuse among siblings (3). There are three factors
to consider when defining sibling abuse - perception, intent, and severity. Perception
refers to how each sibling sees the interaction. If one sibling involved in the
sibling relationship views the behavior as abusive, there is a dynamic beyond normal
sibling rivalry (3). Intent refers to what a sibling hoped to accomplish
through an action or behavior. When sibling abuse is present, the intent of the
perpetrating sibling is primarily to cause harm. Severity is related to the
duration and intensity of the sibling behavior. As severity increases there is
greater chance that the sibling relationship is abusive. Perception, intent,
and severity exist within three primary categories of sibling abuse: psychological,
physical, and sexual (3). Psychological abuse is typically not recognized by
parents and is often dismissed as normal sibling rivalry. This type of abuse
includes belittling, intimidation, provocation, destroying possessions, and
torturing/killing pets. Psychological abuse is different from
“normal” behavior based on consistency and intensity. Examples would include
words and actions expressing degradation and contempt that have an impact on
the sense of well-being (insecurity and self-esteem) of a sibling, such as
daily harassing statements like, “No one in this family cares about you and we
would all be happier if you were dead” (3).
The most prominent perpetrator of sibling abuse in ACOTAR
is Nesta. There are numerous words and actions found in the beginning of ACOTAR
that support this statement. One of the most prominent instances, was this
exchange between the sisters, “What do you know?” Nesta breathed. “You’re just
a half-wild beast with the nerve to bark orders at all hours of the day and
night. Keep it up, and someday—someday, Feyre, you’ll have no one left to
remember you, or to care that you ever existed.” She stormed off, Elain darting
after her, cooing her sympathy. They slammed the door to the bedroom hard
enough to rattle the dishes. I’d heard the words before—and knew she only
repeated them because I’d flinched that first time she spat them. They still
burned anyway.” The last insult she told Feyre is almost identical to the
example given by Source 3, “No one in this family cares about you and we would all
be happier if you were dead”. The text shows that Nesta had said similar
hurtful statements before, and said them knowing that they emotionally hurt
Feyre. By analyzing this exchange with the three aspects of sibling abuse in
mind, this exchange is clearly psychologically abusive. Feyre clearly perceives
this as a verbal/emotional attack, and the words Nesta use greatly wounds Feyre
emotionally. Nesta’s intent in this situation is also clear – she is seeking to
hurt Feyre. Nesta is looking to wound Feyre for her disapproving of Nesta’s
possible marriage proposal. Nesta uses this specific phrase because she has
used it in the past and knew it had hurt Feyre’s feelings. The last aspect of
sibling abuse, severity, is also evidenced by this exchange. Nesta has used
almost those exact words to hurt Feyre before, and she actively looks for ways
to wound Feyre emotionally, as evidenced by more quotes found from the book.
More exchanges that reek of abuse found in ACOTAR
include, “… so you can have enough time to paint your glorious masterpieces.”
She sneered at the pillar of foxglove I’d painted along the edge of the table…”
In this quote from Nesta, she is knowingly and purposefully mocking the only
activity Feyre enjoys – painting. Her sneering at Feyre’s work also highlights
just how sarcastic Nesta’s words are when she called Feyre’s painting
masterpieces. Sarcasm on its own is not abuse, but when paired with Nesta’s
actions (like trying to hurt Feyre’s self-esteem and pride of her artwork)
shows that Nesta has the intent to emotionally wound Feyre. And Nesta succeeds
in her attempt to belittle Feyre’s art, “I drowned the urge to cover up the
painting with my hand. Maybe tomorrow I’d just scrape it off the table
altogether.” Nesta’s next psychological abuse tactic is to humiliate Feyre in
front of their father and other sister by exposing Feyre’s sexual activity and
trying to use it to shame her. “She added with a small smile, “At least I don’t
have to resort to rutting in the hay with Isaac Hale like an animal.” My father
let out an embarrassed cough, looking to his cot by the fire. He’d never said a
word against Nesta, from either fear or guilt, and apparently, he wasn’t going
to start now, even if this was the first he was hearing of Isaac.” The role
their father plays in allowing and propagating the abuse will be discussed
later, but is seen in this quote. It is also interesting his potential “fear”
of Nesta. This is an example of an abuser humiliating their victim to elicit
shame in the target of their attacks. As will be discussed later, lowering a
victim’s self-worth and increasing their shame is a tactic to gain power over
them. Sex shaming an individual on its own, while hurtful, is not only abusive.
But when the other factors of the situation are considered, it adds to the
narrative of daily abuse Nesta bestows on Feyre. When analyzing this situation
with the three sibling abuse factors, perception, intent, and severity, it is
easy to see that Nesta is being abusive again in the text.
Siblings who resort to bullying view it as a means to exert power, often in response
to the fact that they have been victimized by parents, older siblings, or someone outside the family
(1). The aggression of the perpetrators can be a means of getting
back at a favored child and releasing the anger stemming from their own abuse or an attempt to
claim a sense of mastery over the trauma of their own abuse or situation.
The aggression can also be a form of mimicry that is
reinforced by other aggressors in the family (1).
whole power dynamic of Feyre’s family is entirely turned upside down. The
father no longer has control or power over his children, and they are left to
grapple for it between each other. His lack of control is seen not only in how
he never tells his children what to do or reprimands them for their treatment
of each other, but also in the ways Nesta looks to use his painfully injured
leg against him, “His simply carved cane was propped up against his chair—a
cane he’d made for himself … and that Nesta was sometimes prone to leaving far
out of his reach.” Nesta is malicious in her behavior towards him, and while it
is understandable for her to be angry and hurt by his negligence, it does not
give her the right to lash out at him and Feyre. No human is perfect, so
occasional outbursts would be understood, but her consistent and calculated
actions against the members of her family show that the situation they have
grown up in has affected her enough to use abuse tactics to try to regain power
in the situation. The following quote from the book is another instance of her
seeking to claim power from the others, “From beside my father, Nesta snorted.
Not surprising. Any bit of praise for anyone—me, Elain, other villagers—usually
resulted in her dismissal. And any word from our father usually resulted in her
ridicule as well.” Anything that could help lift Feyre’s sense of self-esteem
is instantly destroyed by Nesta. Nesta is almost certainly in pain, and she is
looking to make sure everyone not only stays that way – but hurts more than
her. Some might argue that Feyre is the one with the most power in the family,
since she is the only provider and source of food and money. There might be
credence to this, if it weren’t for two things. First, Feyre would never withhold
food, or money for survival necessities, from her family in order to control
them. Second, it is possible that one of the reasons Nesta resents Feyre is
because she is the sole provider (Nesta could change this by trying to help
support the family, but doesn’t) and used psychological means of taking any
power that Feyre might have. An example of this can be seen in the following
exchange between the sisters, “Nesta picked at her long, neat nails. “I hate
chopping wood. I always get splinters.” She glanced up from beneath her dark
lashes. Of all of us, Nesta looked the most like our mother—especially when she
wanted something. “Besides, Feyre,” she said with a pout, “you’re so much
better at it! It takes you half the time it takes me. Your hands are suited for
it—they’re already so rough.”” Nesta will eventually chop the wood, but she did
not do it prior to the book starting when Feyre originally asked her to, and
most likely only does it to try to curry some favor with Feyre before they head
to the market, which will be addressed later. In this exchange, Nesta is using
what, at first glance, looks to be a compliment, but is really intended to
insult Feyre. First, Nesta offered an excuse not to contribute to the family’s
survival, then she compliments Feyre’s ability to chop wood, and followed it up
with a compliment that Feyre had an affinity for wood chopping – since her
hands were rough. This is, of course, an insult since Nesta believes that
manual labor which impacts the hands is a task only poor people – people lesser
than her – should do. Her belief is evidenced by the perfectly kept state of
her own hands and fingers. Feyre, the provider, theoretically should be able to
demand help from her family. But she at most offers empty threats, since she
promised her mother that she would care for them no matter what. If Nesta did
not chop the wood, Feyre would have eventually done it. This is a fact that
Nesta knows and exploits. That is why Feyre does more than the bulk of the work
needed for the family’s survival. These, along with other exchanges in the
book, show that Nesta is using psychological abuse to claim power from her
Several studies over the past three decades found data
which shows that sibling abuse is pandemic and can have fatal results. One
study found that as many as 40% of children in the United States
engage in physical aggression against siblings, and as many as 85% engage in verbal aggression against siblings on a regular basis
(1). Many factors, such as the severity and intent of an act by one sibling and
the emotional impact of that act on another sibling, is used when determining if an interaction is abusive.
Negative sibling relationships
are characterized by fear, shame, and hopelessness. Negative relationships
indicate that some form of abuse is occurring (1). Examples include ridicule, which involves both words and actions that express contempt
and degradation, which deprives the victim of a sense of self-worth. The sibling who can exacerbate fear gains
control in the relationship through minimizing the other’s self-esteem (1).
Emotional abuse includes numerous and often cruel
forms of abuse, such as belittling, intimidation, scorn, provocation, destroying possessions, and torturing/killing pets.
discussed earlier, Nesta is looking to gain control from the other family members
through contempt, degradation, belittlement, scorn, and goading. This is
evidenced yet again in the following excerpt, “My sisters had gone quiet, and I
looked up in time to see Nesta crinkle her nose with a sniff. She picked at my
cloak. “You stink like a pig covered in its own filth. Can’t you at least try
to pretend that you’re not an ignorant peasant?” I didn’t let the sting and
ache show. I’d been too young to learn more than the basics of manners and
reading and writing when our family had fallen into misfortune, and she’d never
let me forget it.” Nesta is belittling how Feyre provides for the family by
insulting her appearance after hunting and bringing home food. She is also
purposefully picking at Feyre’s insecurity – the fact that she was never able
to learn to read and other skills the upper/middle class have in their society.
Examining this interaction with the three factors of sibling abuse in mind,
Nesta is yet again abusive. Perception – Feyre feels the “sting and ache” that
Nesta’s words create in her. She is emotionally hurt by her sister yet again. Intent-
Nesta is looking to undermine Feyre’s accomplishment in killing a deer and
looking to use a known insecurity to hurt Feyre more. Severity – the text
states that Nesta has used illiteracy, manual labor, and lack of education to
mock Feyre before, and this is yet again another instance of her calculating
what the best words to wound Feyre are in that situation. Yet another example
of Nesta finding ways to exert control on her family members is seen here, ““Take
those disgusting clothes off.” I took my time, swallowing the words I wanted to
bark back at her.” Some might argue that Feyre is abusive as well, and while it
is important to keep in mind that all interactions are seen from Feyre’s
perspective and might be biased, Feyre’s intent is also very clear. After Nesta
negatively orders her to disrobe, she feels the insult in the order, but tries
to keep her anger inside her and not lash out. That is not a commonly found
trait in abusers, and Nesta certainly doesn’t display it. When angered, Nesta
instantly lashes out, and looks to find ways to severely hurt those who she is
The family environment is an important factor in sibling
abuse because sibling abuse often is a reflection of behavior
that has been witnessed or experienced within the family. The family is an interdependent unit, and
the actions of one family member have an impact on all the other members. Conflict over the
number of emotional and material resources available, and how parents handle
it, heightens stress among siblings. Children are at
greater risk of sibling abuse if their parents are unavailable to meet the children’s needs and are unable to help them to resolve
sibling tensions (1). Experts on sibling abuse
have proposed that maladaptive parental behavior and dysfunctional family structures play key roles in fueling
sibling abuse. In a
study conducted by Wiehe (1997), the normalization of abuse by parents was found to be a key factor in the severity and
frequency of abuse between siblings (1). It’s been proved that
an abused child may inflict abuse on a sibling because they are modeling the actions of their
parents. Some victims of severe sibling abuse have reported that
their family environments were toxic. Wiehe (2000) reported that some victims have “described the atmosphere in their
home as a ‘battleground.’ A culture of violence developed
for all family members living in this culture”. Raised in such an environment, children learn to survive through intimidation and cruelty.
Families who live in chaos are at risk of sibling abuse.
Chaotic and disorganized families move from crisis to crisis, and it
seems that no one has control. Parental stress and overburdened caretakers are two factors that result in the assignment of parental responsibilities and tasks to children. It has been shown that there is a strong
link between lack of parental supervision and the frequency and severity of sibling abuse
father in ACOTAR is neglectful to the point of abuse, which will be discussed
in a different post in the future. His emotional unavailability, inability to /
lack of trying to provide for the family, and refusal to protect the siblings
from each other all display his neglectful abuse. The chaotic situations the
family endures – losing their mother, losing their fortune, moving to a hovel,
watching their father beat, living without parents who provide for them – all
deeply impact the sisters. All of them are hurting, and this leads some of them
to turn to abuse to deal with the issues. “But at least Nesta didn’t fill our
heads with useless talk of regaining our wealth, like my father. No, she just
spent whatever money I didn’t hide from her, and rarely bothered to acknowledge
my father’s limping presence at all. Some days, I couldn’t tell which of us was
the most wretched and bitter.” The losses this family has faced has brought
them all low and filled them with pain, but it seems only Feyre is looking to actively
improve their situation.
Some families promote the development of alliances at the
expense of other family members. When this happens, an unhealthy triangle develops in the family structure.
are not always bad. However, when rigid rules and patterns are established in the triangle, problems may arise. When this
type of triangle exists in a family, resolution of emotional problems is often prevented
is an unhealthy trio in the house – and Feyre got the short end of it. Nesta
and Elain are the most bonded, and Nesta actively looks to undermine and cause
Feyre pain. Instead of Elain trying to heal the rift between the other two
sisters, she takes Nesta’s side – even though Nesta is predominantly cruel. This
unhealthy partnership, the support of an abusive individual, and neglectfulness
to the point of abuse along with the father, all show that Elain is not
innocent when it comes to sibling abuse. Textual evidence of this will be
provided and analyzed in a different post. Nesta also psychologically abuses
Elain – but to a much lesser extent than Feyre. This again, will be covered in
a different post. This post has grown too long, and so it will continue to
mostly focus on the sibling dynamic between Nesta and Feyre.
According to the National Family Violence Survey, the
rates of sibling abuse “make the high rates of other forms of family violence,
such as parents abusing children or spouses abusing each other, seem modest by
comparison”. Even with the high incident rates, sibling abuse is the least
reported and researched form of abuse (4). Emotional abuse may include verbal
intimidation or name calling, degradation, insults, and threatening or
completing acts of violence (4). The differences between sibling violence and
abuse are that violence showed reciprocal aggression between siblings, and
abuse was a result of one sibling exerting power over the other. Capsi defined
sibling abuse as, “unidirectional hostility where one sibling seeks to
overpower the other via a reign of terror and intimidation and reflects an
asymmetrical power arrangement” (4). When assessing psychological abuse, questions
related to emotional aggression can be used. These include, “what is happening
that hurts your feelings?” and intent “[insert example from student’s story],
did this happen accidently or on purpose? What tells you that it was ‘on
purpose’?” Questions such as these will likely elicit concrete descriptions of
the behavior between children (4).
There is another source of power found within families –
money and material items. Feyre is the provider of the family, the one who
risks her life to hunt and bring back game. The animals can be used for a few
purposes, for instance, some parts will be used for food, and other parts sold
for money. Feyre, the main/only real source of income for the family should be
able to decide how the money is spent. This right is undeserved and should be
revoked if the provider is selfish and wasteful with the family’s funds. The
book shows that Feyre is neither. Instead, her sisters are the selfish ones
when it comes to money:
love a new cloak,” Elain said at last with a sigh, at the same moment Nesta
rose and declared: “I need a new pair of boots.””
kept quiet, knowing better than to get in the middle of one of their arguments,
but I glanced at Nesta’s still-shiny pair by the door. Beside hers, my
too-small boots were falling apart at the seams, held together only by fraying
drew out the two syllables of my name—fay-ruh—into the most hideous whine I’d
ever endured, and Nesta loudly clicked her tongue before ordering her to shut
drowned them out as they began quarreling over who would get the money the hide
would fetch tomorrow…”
Why should either Elain or Nesta be given the funds the
hides would earn? Neither of them hunted the animals. If they weren’t being
selfish, they would be discussing the ways to use the money to best provide for
the family – every member. Instead, they bicker over which one of their
unhelpful and lazy selves should spend the money for their own individual
benefit. Clothing is of course a necessity, but Feyre’s clothes are in far
worse a state than their own, partly due to her physical activities she
performs to provide for them. Since she is the youngest, it is also likely,
though not specifically stated, that she got the hand-me-downs over the years
as many younger siblings do, especially in poor households. Yet the siblings
who did not earn the money argue over how they will spend it. Many abusers are
willfully ignorant of their selfish behavior and how it affects others. Other
abusers, as is likely in Nesta’s case, also selfishly seek to use money they
have or haven’t earned as a power ploy. Nesta, who constantly points out
Feyre’s shabby and poor appearance, has no doubt noticed the differences
between their apparel. She certainly knows that Feyre’s are in a worse state,
but still seeks to better her own wardrobe at the cost of her sister. Though
Feyre earned the money, Nesta is trying to take away Feyre’s power to use it.
and emotional sibling violence are one of the most common forms of violence
against children and the consequences of physical and emotional sibling abuse
can affect children and adults. Research has found children and adolescents who
have experienced sibling violence to have experienced mental health,
loneliness, psychological problems, and poor peer interaction and behavioral
problems (2). Violence against a child, regardless of, is still violence
against a child, unfortunately sibling violence has been mostly ignored in
child welfare. Children and teenagers who had experienced sibling aggression
reported higher mental health issues than children who had not experienced
sibling abuse. Children who were victims, and perpetrators, of sibling abuse
were found to be more likely to end up in abusive romantic relationships later
in life (2). Both the victims and the perpetrators of emotional sibling abuse tend to have significantly lower levels of self-esteem as adults than do nonvictims
unhealthy dynamic that Feyre and Nesta grew up with was rife with the
possibilities to become a selfish and psychologically unhealthy individual.
Nesta had considered an engagement, which implies a prior
attachment/relationship, with a man who would most likely be abusive. Feyre did
end up in love with a romantically abusive partner, Tamlin. Tamlin was not just
abusive towards her, but also arguably to Lucien. All sisters were unlucky
enough to live in a situation that can create abusers, but only one sister did
not show any indications of being abusive – Feyre. Unfortunately, she was
romantically involved with an abuser, but thankfully got out and found someone
who would not abuse her for the first time in her life.
all interaction between Feyre and Nesta in the beginning of ACOTAR is Nesta
trying to emotionally hurt Feyre and purposefully lower her self-esteem. When
reading the book, it is important to remember that Nesta has been treating
Feyre that way for years – not just the few days the readers see. Feyre has
been living in a hostile environment, one that Nesta inflames, for years. She
has suffered emotional and mental trauma at the hands of Nesta’s psychological abuse.
is abuse. Siblings are fully capable of abusing each other, and do so in
ACOTAR. Nesta’s later actions in no way erase her abusive behavior. Future
actions do not change past ones, but can begin to try to make up for it. Some
abusers can and will look to protect their victims from outside threats and
dangers besides themselves. Some abusers will love and care for their victims.
Some abusers will do nice and kind things for their victims. Some abusers will
even change their behavior. But none of it, none of it, will in any way lessen
or erase their current or past abuse. Some readers don’t think Nesta did
anything wrong. Some don’t want an apology from Nesta, and think it would be
out of character, in that sense, they would be right. It is out of character
for abusers to apologize for their behavior. But that does not mean the abusers
don’t need to, or shouldn’t, apologize for their actions. Or be held
accountable for them.
order for an abuser to deserve forgiveness they need to recognize their actions
as wrong. They then need to meaningfully apologize. Lastly, abusers would need
to change their behavior and keep it that way. Then they would not fit the
criteria for an abuser any longer. Simply stopping abusive actions do not undo
abuse, erase it, or mean a person no longer deserved the title of abuser.
was an abusive sibling. The fact is that she actively sought out ways to hurt
her sisters continually on a daily basis for years. The problem isn’t just that
she wasn’t unconcerned with other’s feelings, it was that she calculated ways
to hurt them. Whether she still is, or is not abusive is not what is being
discussed in this post. Nesta’s character is an excellent opportunity for the
author to show how an abuser can grow and change and be redeemed.
I will never enjoy reading about Nesta’s character. Many of her actions in
ACOTAR are nearly identical to many of my brother’s. Her treatment of Feyre is
very similar to some of the ways he treated me. I can’t read parts of the book
with Nesta’s character and not be reminded of my brother. It is certainly
possible for Nesta to grow and change, like my brother could, but even if they
do, I would still not want to read about, or associate, with them. Many readers
who have not suffered through sibling abuse will have no problem reading and
enjoying Nesta’s character, and there is no problem with that. The problem is
only when readers erase negative aspects of a character, and claim there were
no misdeeds done by characters they like.
is nothing wrong with liking a strong, willful, sarcastic, uncaring character. There
is nothing wrong with liking a morally gray character. Or a villain. Many do,
including myself. The situation only changes to being not okay when people
refuse to acknowledge a character’s misdeeds and mistreatment of others. Everyone
can have problematic faves, the only problem arises when fans refuse to
acknowledge their fave’s problematic behavior. We are all capable of critical
thinking and liking complex things. There is no reason to blindly pretend a
character has no flaws, or that the flaws aren’t harmful to others. We can
still love characters, flaws and all.
I ask that only polite discussion takes place on the subjects of abuse in the
fandom. There is no reason to write words that can be construed as hurtful to
people who have suffered sibling, and other, abuse in the past. Please remember
that survivors could be reading anything you post and say. I am tagging
everyone who liked/reblogged a post I saw earlier stating there was no sibling
abuse in ACOTAR. I am not looking to call anyone out, but only to shed light on
a very prevalent and harmful form of abuse that has been swept under the rug
far too many times.
They have us blocked but im petty so here we go 😊 .
Asking non-gay/bi men to stop portraying our romantic/sexual relationships in a fetishizing way is bad and misogynistic ? Telling yall to stop portraying elements like incest/abuse/pedophilia between two men as sexy is a bad thing ?
Do yall even hang around any gay/bi men or do yall get all your information from Tumblr? Like everyone in this thread is nasty, but lets start with anon. Anon you think its okay to generalize all gay male erotica as “big dicks, no lube, and turning straight guys gay” when 1) you aren’t even a gay man and 2) you probably eat up those boring ass johnlock fics where the word gay isn’t even mentioned. Its funny because the tone of your ask makes you sound like you know something when in reality you don’t know jack shit and need to stay in your boring whitebread straight girl lane :^) .
Now for everyone else in this hellhole of a thread. Yall non-gay/bi men don’t know the needs or the wants or the desires of mlm and need to shut the hell up and take a back seat when it comes to gay male erotica. No one is telling you to stop drawing smut or writing fanfiction. We are telling you to stop fetishizing mlm, but yall are so pretentious you can’t even see that maybe gay/bi men know more about this subject than you do. You people believe you are above homophobia and yet find media like killing stalking to be hot and sexy even though its about the torture and abuse of a gay man by a straight man. It disturbs me that the general attitude in fandoms and elsewhere sees the sexual gratification of non-gay/bi men more important than the safety and comfort of young gay minors, who often see this type of shit and become confused and misguided because of its awfully inaccurate depictions of our sexualities and relationships.
And last but not least Lmao @ 21st century whatever you are the nastiest. “Some gay men are the most misogynistic therefore I have an excuse to be homophobic and fetishize gay men and gay sex”. That’s what you sound like. Its pretentious and condescending to act like you know how our relationships work or to act like we are doing OUR OWN erotica and porn wrong. You and all the straight fangirls can go choke I don’t give a shit about homophobes, especially homophobes who think just because they aren’t a man that they can’t possibly harm gay/bi men. Bye.
*movie announcer voice* this june: yet another bullshit derivative movie featuring wildly inaccurate depictions of murderous sharks who indiscriminately devour pretty ladies. come waste your money this summer at a movie you’ve seen and hated a million times before already.
I’m so sick of ableist horror stories. We need more of them with disabled and mentally ill people as the protagonists instead of the villains.
There is such good opportunities to subvert the typical horror tropes through this too, it’d be awesome. Like one of those movies with a group going on holiday in a cabin in some isolated place and getting attacked by a killer, but our hero is actually someone with DID so the group is a few people sharing the same body and the story is about them working together to survive.
Or a haunted house story with a protagonist with psychosis who is brave and resourceful and has developed coping mechanisms to deal with disturbing stuff already so they’re not gonna let themselves be intimidated by any supernatural shit
Literally anything but more lazy and inaccurate depictions of mentally ill people as evil please
heh. canon is the sandbox for us all. and that’s precisely my experience you described lmao. i saw this really gorgeous fanart and was holy shit, who are these characters? then i checked out the series and was all ‘???? what is going on i don’t understand this?? and yikes, XYZ depiction seems Inaccurate.’ but i was hooked. i was riveted. because the concept itself. national personifications, but not quite the idealised columbia and marianne, but real life People who were immortal but also Fucked Up and Human. it was like someone had handed me a canvas that had some sketches but was mostly blank and alongside buckets of paint. and the bonus: getting to meet really great history buff friends through this Low Budget Anime Men hell. canon became not Word of God, but simply like…the clay we’d remould into our Own Thing :’ )
I’ve been seeing a surprising amount of like… pity on Kim lately. Depression sucks. Self hatred sucks. I get it. But I think a lot of people are undermining Trini’s problems to a certain- and occasionally very large- extent.
Isolation, self imposed or otherwise, has an incredibly unhealthy and often times ever lasting affect on people. Trini’s never really gotten close with anyone before. Clearly she doesn’t socialize much given no one even knew her name or of her general existence in school. She froze up and ran away upon being forced into social situations. She finds it difficult to even talk around her family, and her mom clearly seems to have anger issues of some sort given how easy it was for her to snap and hit the table upon Trini acting distant.
I’m not trying to be That Guy™, but I’m speaking from personal experience. It’s so so incredibly hard for me to talk to people I don’t know very well, and the people I AM close with is a very small number. I read into everything because I always panic and think I’m saying the wrong thing, always assume everyone hates me or sees me as a burden.
I imagine Trini is the same, or at least very similar. It must be so difficult for her to have no choice but to be with these people, even if she’s grown to love them. But it’s evident that she hasn’t really been raised with much love and support, and she so desperately just wants acceptance and validation from the people around her, but she just can’t say that or show that without fearing she’s being clingy or annoying.
Telling the others how she feels, telling them she’s scared, telling them about her feelings in the Rita aftermath, telling them more about her past or her family, must be so fucking scary and hard for her. And I’m sure once she does say anything, she regrets it and thinks she’s just being whiny and doesn’t deserve their comfort because she’s never been proved otherwise in her upbringing.
Communication is difficult, more so for some than others, but in the way we see Trini as a character, it must be even worse. She probably denies herself the opportunity to feel upset or afraid, and gets mad at herself when she does. The rangers giving her comfort and assuring her she’s loved and accepted with them doesn’t make it all better, it doesn’t make someone more willing to be open or be more accepting of themselves, or make it easier to socialize after being so shut off. She probably chastises herself for having such an inability to have normal interactions without fearing she’s making a mistake or is being judged.
Maybe this is all just coming from my personal experience, maybe I’m self projecting. But simply brushing aside the combination of Trini’s reaction to social interactions, apparent isolation in school, and difficult family life isn’t going to make her character have much depth. It’s not just one of these things- it’s all of them together, and from my observations of myself and others, these are the characters traits and the sadly damaged mentality of those who deal with this kind of life.
Btw, this isn’t to say everyone, or anyone, maybe, is inaccurately depicting Trini. I just feel like pitying Kim for her stated self loathing doesn’t trump how inadequate and uncomfortable Trini probably feels around everyone and about herself; probably to the point that she’d never admit any of this outloud out of fear, unlike Kim, who managed to swallow it.
Wow this is angsty and personal whoops.
hello friends i’d like to comment a bit on adenas clothing yalls.
adena is a hijab wearing woman but she doesnt seem to be obeying the full requirements of covering her aurat(areas of the body one needs to cover up)?
she wears the hijab yes, but also sometimes wears clothing that reveals her chest, shoulders and stomach, whereas the aurat of a woman is the entirety of her body with the exception of her hands and face. the hijab style (the sort of headwrap) she uses is common but her clothing choices strike me as odd.
im a queer muslim myself and while i do appreciate the representation, i do feel it is disrespectful to portray a character as muslim and depict them inaccurately. one could argue that adena does not always pray 5 times a day and therefore is not “that” devoted, the clothes chosen for her are more a reflection of the crew and writers rather than adena herself.
it should be mentioned that i am a south east asian muslim and im not sure what constitutes as acceptable all the way out west. i dont wear the hijab, but i am informed on islam, being a practitioner.
You were just leaving the theatre after a two-show day, exhausted and wrapped up in your jacket, scarf, and hat, when your phone rang. You fumbled for it with already numbing hands, cursing the January cold.
“Hi, this is Y/N L/N speaking,” you said automatically as you hurried along. At least your apartment wasn’t far away- a blessed mercy on days like this.
“Hi Y/N, it’s Lin,” you heard and froze, “do you have a second?”
You had joined Hamilton a month before Lin departed as an ensemble member. He had left long before you became Eliza’s understudy and eventually, alternate on Phillipa’s days off. Lin had come back to the theatre, of course- he lived for it, longed for it, and couldn’t stay away.
You liked him a lot but never thought he’d really noticed you, even when you started performing as Eliza. You certainly didn’t know how he got your number. “Yeah, I have a moment,” you managed to say, forcing yourself to keep moving before you turned into an icicle or a snowman, “What do you need, Lin?”
A group of drunk college students shoved past you and you glared at them. “I’m doing a Heights reunion,” he told you, “just for a week. Five shows.”
You let out an involuntary squeal. “I want tickets,” you insisted. Everyone in the Hamilton cast knew In the Heights- how could you not? You sang Vanessa’s “It won’t be long now’ as a warm up for a month after you first heard the music and you had seen videos of the ham4ham where Lin decided to perform Carneval del Barrio.
You hurried into your apartment building, sighing in relief at the warmth. “That’s the thing,” Lin said, “Karen is busy.”
“No!” you gasped. Karen, once Lin’s Vanessa, had come backstage on Hamilton once while you were there. She was stunning in her intellect, her beauty, and her talent. “What will you do?”
You fumbled for your key with your free hand while you waited for Lin to answer. “Actually,” he said eventually, “I was hoping you’d take on the role.”
“What?” your mouth fell open. “What?” You dropped your keys in your haste to get inside and sit down, but left them in favour of listening to Lin.
He chuckled at your surprise. “I want you to be Vanessa, Y/N.”
“I’m Eliza,” you said stupidly.
“Lexi would handle that,” Lin promised, “just while you were gone.”
You picked up your keys, unlocked your apartment, and headed inside, not really registering anything you were doing.
“Y/N?” Lin said after a moment, “I can ask someone else if you’d rather not-”
“Course I want to,” you interrupted, “I just had to process it first.” You headed into your room and opened your laptop, looking for your In the Heights tracks.
Lin sighed in relief. “Great! I’ll have someone send you the details.”
“Thanks,” you said sincerely and said your goodbyes. You hung up and collapsed onto your bed, unable to stop grinning. You would be Vanessa! You would sing her easy confidence and her desire to move up in the world.
Suddenly restless, you got up and clicked shuffle on the In the Heights albums. You spun around- you would sing 96,000 and It won’t be long now and-
“So I got you a present-”
And champagne. Champagne. You couldn’t believe you had forgotten it. Of course, you kissed your Alexander multiple times onstage most days but you knew him. You barely knew Lin, never mind why on earth he would choose you for Vanessa over Phillipa or Jasmine.
You shuffled to the next track and put it out of your mind. You could do this.
@macabre-incarnate I feel like you might like this one. And I always tag you in these lol.
Making another post about the wrong assumptions about demons because there aren’t nearly enough.
Okay let’s begin. 1. The first thing I would like to address is the statement “demons are evil.” No, this is not true. This is a huge, false generalization. Demons, like people, are all different. Some are good, some can be bad, and many are neutral in that they don’t go out of their way to be good or bad and simply keep to themselves. Yes, some of them may be mischievous, tricky, and just plain dickish. But to make a general assumption about them based on movies, books, and ignorant people who don’t have experience with them, is just plain stupid. 2. The second thing I would like to address is the assumption that demons are one dimensional beings that just feed off of people. Not true. All demons, like humans, have personalities, quirks, and unique traits. They live in their own societies, have rulers, laws, etc. They have likes and dislikes about food, colors, activities, animals, etc. They also have social groups, friends, and families (although some may be more solitary than others). Some do feed off of energy but a lot of the time it’s not harmful to those whose energy is being taken. For example, demons like incubi and succubi feed off of sexual energy. 3. The third thing I would like to address is the assumption that demons hate or dislike humans. I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to say that demons LIKE humans, but I wouldn’t say they all dislike humans. There are some that do dislike humans or prefer not to communicate with them, but a majority of them don’t care all that much about humans, so they don’t really bother with them. Demons are a very busy species since they are “living” entities, and many of them don’t have time to mess with humans. Some do, and like to pull pranks, but most aren’t willing to go out of their way to harm humans. There are some demons that even like and enjoy the company of humans. Some demons are willing to be companions to humans and help them learn about themselves and the world. I for example, have a casual friendship with a demon who visits me on and off. He has his own personality. He’s very calm, warm and loving, and enjoys the taste of cinnamon. He also loves Christmas, and hot tea. Now does that sound like a bad guy to you? Hardly! 4. The fourth thing I want to address is kind of silly, but people like to assume that all demons are scary looking or monstrous. Like in the movies (which are EXTREMELY inaccurate) demons are depicted as having terrifying or grotesque features. SOME demons really are scary looking (but this doesn’t mean they are evil or bad by any means) but many can look like humans or animals (or a combination of them), as well as an entirely different creature we have never seen. Some are very unique looking, some are cute, some are really beautiful. Some look nothing like what you would expect. So be open minded! 5. And lastly, I would like to just say that demons don’t possess humans. It’s possible but extremely difficult and unlikely. Usually its a mutual thing that’s agreed upon. So stop with the demon possession shit, its old af.
Thank you for taking your time to read this if you did!
80 of the tags that some of AO3′s tag wranglers have encountered between March-April, in a mega-sized post, separated in groupings of 5 for easy reading. Most of these are freeforms (also known as the ‘additional tags’ field), but some are character or relationship tags.
Due to the sheer number of tags I haven’t bothered to add fandoms. Sorry!
You can find the list in text format below the cut/read-more.
1. It was given to the Romani (and similar) populations by outsiders.
2. It is derived from the word “Egyptian” and the Romani have NO ancestral ties to Egypt
3. The word “gypsy” conjures to the mind inaccurate depictions of the Romani people (often romanticized, sometimes turning them into a fetish/portrayed as a fetish). Blame the history of the contemporary camera for that.
4. The word “gypsy” is NOT well liked in MANY Romani communities
*note that I do have Romani ancestors in my own tree so I am not speaking as an outsider on this family *
(Warning: inaccurate depiction of drug use as the writer has never tried drugs in his life. He is a good boy and shall stay as such.)
Disclaimer: Characters are 16 of age in this prompt.
Disclaimer: The author does not condone the use of drugs of any kind. Don’t do drugs kids their not fun.
“Did you just DRUG ME?!” Squealed the petite bluenette with a tint of mirth from where she sat across from Adrien. One slender hand hit the table in a feeble attempt to brace the tiny girl from falling over as the other abandoned the fourth chocolate confection she had previously been eating to press against the side of her temples as if it could restore her mind to proper thinking order. Those sweet blue bell eyes were glazing over pretty quick as a melodious sound bubbled up from her throat, threatening to break free.
Adrien for his part was fairing pretty well, all things considered. He slowly dropped the browning he himself had been planning to eat as he watched blue haired girl he’d invited over for a fun afternoon of tutoring and gaming quickly devolve into a fit of giggles. The blonde had only just offered her the plate of brownies not ten maybe twenty minutes ago before he left her side to mess with his TV and console systems to get it ready for their would-be epic fight royal in Ultimate Mecha Strike III. When he finally got the system working, he returned to her to find… This.
Why was the normally shy and clumsy Marinette Dupain-Cheng trying to hold in a laughing fit as her mind abandoned normal reason? The answer was in the pudding, or in this case, brownies. Adrien hadn’t meant any harm by them, he’d been given them by a fan that morning and thought they’d be perfect to share with Mari when she came over in the afternoon for their second hangout in two weeks. He’d been so excited to hang out with her again after their ‘date’ at the theater that he didn’t reason out why accepting fan gifts and giving them to friends was a /bad/ idea. Also, who in their right mind gives a celebrity model LACED BROWNIES?! If he ever found out who that girl was, he’d have choice words with her.
Back to the problem at hand, Adrien looked up to profusely apologize to the girl he’d just accidently baked, only to realize she was no longer there. A loud ruckus coming from the mini fridge across the room drew his attention, and the blonde boy nearly had a heart attack. Bent over in front of the fridge, her cute tiny bottom end wiggling happily in the air, was the bluenette rummaging through his fridge for something.
Calling over her shoulder the girl chuckled. “Hey! How come you don’t have anything good to eat in here? I need something to wash down those brownies… Oh a salad! Wait… aw nuts, Balsamic Vinaigrette. Geez Adrien don’t you have any sweets?” Marinette inquired as she stood up, taking with her a small salad that she began to shovel into her mouth. Blue bell eyes locked on green as a wicked smile slowly crept across her lips as the bluenette took in the blushing model who’s eyes most certainly weren’t on hers. A dastardly idea came to her addled mind as she took another bite of salad.
Adrien felt as if he was slowly dying inside as the normally hot mess of a girl strut like a model before plopping her rear on his lap to get comfy. She took another bite of lettuce, chewed, and swallowed, all before addressing her new seat with mirth lacing her tone. “You know, this is kinda nice. A little weird, but i could get used to this.”
They both could hear the audible gulp as the blonde struggled to figure out where the shy Mari ended and this unrestricted mari began. “D-do you mean t-the salad or…” Marinette just laughed as she turned her head to look Adrien dead in the eyes as she whispered. “No silly, i meant your lap. You know i’ve had a crush on you for the longest time right?”
Plagg, the little shit god of bad luck himself, couldn’t contain his hysterical laughter as he fled through a wall before Mari could notice him. Adrien promptly bore holes in that spot before a certain blue haired blue eyed girl sitting in his lap shifted her legs to his side, leaning her shoulder into his as she rested her head on his neck. “You know… you need to make it up to me for those ‘special’ brownies you gave me… How do you plan to do that Mister Agreste?”
“Adrien.Exe has stopped responding, please wait while the system reboots.”
AHAHAHAHA so i’ve never been on drugs, but i’ve known a few people who have, and one person i knew got kinda frisky when high. She acted kinda like this, so i’m drawing from that. Also did confirm a few more details with a friend, they know who they are, so this is doubly fun!
Anywho, if it’s not obvious, a fan gave adrien laced brownies for some reason. He in turn offered them to mari while getting things ready for some ultimate mecha strike three, giving her plenty of time to eat a few before the ‘spike’ kicked in.
Betcha this isn’t at all what you thought you were getting Squirrellygirlart, but tell you what, i left a hint in this text. figure out which line is the prompt to the next post i’m gonna write, and you win some very delicious sin for it!
(Yes this will have a part 2, yes it will be sintastic.)
Iwasaki was one of several geisha author Arthur Golden interviewed while researching his novel Memoirs of a Geisha. According to Iwasaki, she agreed to speak with Golden on the condition that her involvement would be kept confidential, but Golden revealed her identity by mentioning her name in the book’s acknowledgments as well as several national interviews. After Memoirs was published, Iwasaki received criticism and even death threats for violating the traditional geisha code of silence. Iwasaki felt betrayed by Golden’s use of information she considered confidential, as well as the way he twisted reality. She denounced Memoirs of a Geisha as being an inaccurate depiction of the life of a geisha. Iwasaki was particularly offended by the novel’s portrayal of geiko engaging in ritualized prostitution. For example, in the novel the main character Sayuri’s virginity (called mizuage in the novel) is auctioned off to the highest bidder. Iwasaki stated that not only did this never happen to her, but that no such custom ever existed in Gion.
Part of Iwasaki’s displeasure with Memoirs may have been because the character Sayuri seems obviously modeled on Iwasaki, with many of the book’s main characters and events having parallels in Iwasaki’s life. These people and experiences are often portrayed negatively in Memoirs, even when their real-life counterparts were positive for Iwasaki. Iwasaki later gave public interviews citing that many established geiko criticized her interview with Arthur Golden, causing a rupture with the geisha tradition of secrecy to the outside world. Furthermore, Iwasaki has mentioned that she had lost some friends and relationships due to the scandal of her being known due to the book, along with certain inconsistencies and fallacies about Gion which were mentioned in Memoirs of a Geisha.
Iwasaki sued Golden for breach of contract and defamation of character in 2001, which was settled out of court in 2003.
Why You Should Stop Romanticizing Memoirs of a Geisha.
do others in the scriptfamily have their own "tropes I want to see die" posts/lists? I've only seen Aunty Script's and I love those
…..good question! I don’t think I’ve seen many, but I wouldn’t be surprised? (And yes, those posts from @scriptmedic are wonderful~) . There’s some that might be up your alley though depending on what you’re interested in reading up on.
On @scriptautistic for instance I think I’ve seen SOMETHING like that (not necessarily with that kind of framing, but talking about representation they’d like to see done less stereotypically at least), but it’s not coming to mind for specifics so you may want to poke around in their recent archive?
I wouldn’t be surprised if @scripthacker had something like that, but I don’t know for sure?
@scriptshrink might have something like that, though I don’t know if it’s framed in that specific of a fashion. Shrink did at least reblog this thread which is brief but sort of equivalent, as it’s the kind of tropes/representation that mentally ill people are sick of seeing (often because it makes no sense/is offensive/is inaccurate/doesn’t depict the broad experiences of people with X condition), plus there’s a bunch of other stuff (including their justifiably aggravated review of a certain therapy-themed Netflix series with a slur for a name, and a post about the unscientific nature of the Myers-Briggs Personality Test) listed in Shrink’s Bad Psychology tag, as well as some in the Hollywood Psych tag, which may be of interest to you :)
Anybody else recall a post of note along those lines? Let me know if you do! XD My memory isn’t always the best, and there’s a LOT of Scriptblogs just in the Official Family alone.
A lot of people have said yaoi is homophobic/fetishizing but I don't get it? Like why is it? (you don't have to answer if you don't feel like explaining it or whatever, its all good and i love your blog!)
I may be wrong so if anyone reading this wants to correct me or expand on this please do so but I’ve heard it’s usually because it’s made by/for straight/not-queer women and includes grossly inaccurate depictions of mlm (sexual) experiences - most often with heavily heteronormative vibes (i.e. typical a strict ‘top/bottom’ relationship, with a extremely effeminate ‘bottom’ and macho man ‘top’) and just generally has really predatory ‘fantasies’ that are borderline abusive/toxic/etc.
In short - it’s taking something perfectly normal (and consensual)… and twisting it into something to be horrendously objectified/sexualised/ for folks who have never experienced what it’s really like to be a gay/bi/queer/etc man/person.
Now, I’m not gonna act like I’m not guilty of doing the above in the past, because I have read and do still occasionally read ‘yaoi’ (although I’ve certainly Calmed The H*ck Down since the time I first started reading it when I was 14/15 and don’t defend all of the genre like I did back then), so I’m not entirely sure if I’m the best person to ask about this.
If I can give you any advice (based off experience and learning from mistakes I’ve made in the past) in general when it comes to reading yaoi is to:
1) Not read it all the time. You can seriously become desensitised to the issues I expressed earlier. Have a break.
2) It is rare for it to be realistic - don’t take the stories/characters as FACT. Again, the stories are typically written by straight women who have never experienced the homophobia or life as mlm folks. While some stories may deal with internalised/external homophobia and not have the ‘tropes’ above, and this could potentially be ‘realistic’ depiction of such experiences, you’ve still got to not apply that to every single experience of a mlm folk. It’s fiction.
3) Understand a lot of the yaoi stories/relationships are toxic/absuive/predatory and why it’s really bad/homophobic to compare them to irl mlm folks or mlm media made by LGBTQ+ folks – this happened recently with the In a Heartb*at short film about two young boys have a crush on one another. Seriously, don’t call stuff outside of the genre, ‘yaoi’ because it’s a grossly inaccurate title/description of such things.
4) Read into the reasons why people have issues with ‘yaoi’, you may not feel the same way about it yourself but it’s really important to listen to other peoples opinions/thoughts/feelings regarding this, especially when most of the concerns about ‘yaoi’ comes from queer folks. Fetishising queer relationships is certainly not limited to ‘yaoi’, but it’s definitely not free of doing so.
Again, if I said anything wrong or missed out anything, please share your thoughts/correct me if you’re familiar with this argument against ‘yaoi’.
Thank you for the kind words by the way, anon! I hope I gave you a little insight into it? Again I’m not sure if I’m the best person to ask…Even though I’m queer myself, I’m still learning from mistakes.
Enraged (62512 words) by Vixen13 Chapters: 12/? Fandom: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson Characters: Peter Parker, Wade Wilson, May Parker (Spider-Man), Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn, Mariah Crawford, Felicia Hardy, Tony Stark, Alex, Jason, Adam, Otto Octavius Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omegaverse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Sex, inaccurate depiction of the sex industry, canon sorta, with lots of changes, Anal Sex, Sex Toys, D/s elements, Light BDSM, Oral Sex, omega!Peter, Alpha!Wade, Switching, Prostitute!Peter, Sexism, Violence, in the past and upcoming in the fic, Praise Kink, consensual humiliation kink, Rough Sex, Peter has anger issues omg, Sounding, Mating Cycles/In Heat Summary:
Peter was a brilliant omega who dreamed of overcoming the stigmas and setbacks of his gender. When a spider bite gave him powers and his dying uncle left him with powerful words, he saw an opportunity to protect the little guy from all the bad in the world.
But life isn’t like a comic book. Not for omegas, at least. By the time life was done with Peter, he was working in a brothel, just trying to make enough money to keep his and Aunt May’s heads above water.
Enter one Merc with a Mouth who won’t stop poking his way into Peter’s pants and into Peter’s past. Wade has an offer waiting for a super that isn’t supering, and Peter might just be bitter enough to take it.