in-my-new-apartment

02/09/16 - 11:25 // Good morning guys! I already got done working, so now time to study! Later on, I’ll pick out wall colors for the new apartment with my friend Julia & get some groceries. Today, I’ll tackle law. Also, I added some spring vibes to my desk and everything flows twice as well now. I hope you guys have a great day & accomplish everything you want to - but remember, not getting everything done isn’t the end of the world. You got this!

Funny Words

Funny people
With serious problems
Making small talk and stupid jokes
Weaving anxiously in and out of traffic
With butterfly’s inside their feet

It’s funny
Don’t worry about it
If you phrase it right everyone will laugh and immediately discard the memory

Oy vey
Maybe I’m thinking too much
Maybe I recuse too often
I don’t know
And that might be my problem
One of my problems
Not-really-problem-problems
Whatever

Funny words
Flying from dusty mouths
From distain
From love
From whatever helps you brush your teeth every morning
Up, up, and away
Who knows how long I’ll be on this earth

Who knows
Who cares
Who can help me find a new apartment on the internet
Who can edit my poems and send them into publishers on my behalf
Who can give me a place to sleep tonight
Who will feed my imaginary cats while I’m away
Funny people
Funny people

My grandfather payed good money to have a star in the Big Dipper named after my grandmother
I know because the framed plaque is stored away in my room
I wonder what the star thinks about that
I wonder if they have a return policy

Funny noises screaming in the woods at night
Funny sounds carried through the wind
Funny moments you’ll most likely forget about
Funny lessons holding you back
Funny television shows playing pretend
Funny words destroying everything you’ve ever known
Funny chemicals helping you sleep at night

And tomorrow morning I’ll wake up slow
Open my eyes
And try to forget everything I’ve ever seen

Once again

It’s been a pretty crazy start to the new year, full of positive vibes, creativity, and accomplishments. I tried acro yoga for the first time and met some awesome new friends (who, not-so-coincidently, are also martial artists. Like attracts like, right?). I’ve got my back handspring down pretty solid in gymnastics now, and am currently working on front tucks 😬 Been trainin’ like a Saiyan in capoeira, even with two sprained wrists (seriously, fuck me). With four months to go till our batizado, Mestre has been pushing us hard. I’ve been sticking pretty faithfully to my schedule of working abs every other day (more if I feel like it/have the time), and writing one chapter of my book every week. I’ve been on a crazy creative decorating spree the past two weeks, buying and making new stuff for my apartment, brightening it up and trying to go a little more boho/beachy with the decor. I love interior decorating, and it feels so good to be inviting more color and fresh energy in.

I’ve settled into more of a routine with myself than I ever did while living with someone. More so than when I lived with my parents and had much less responsibility, and much more than when I lived with Anthony. It’s strange. Being completely on my own was so hard and lonely at first, sometimes it still is. But I cherish my alone time. I belong wholly to myself, not reflecting anyone else’s character. I’ve established a sleeping pattern that suites me so much better than when I was working around someone else’s schedule. I’ve put so much more focus on to-do’s that have literally been waiting years to get done. I’ve picked up music again. Don’t get me wrong, those habits of co-existing aren’t necessarily bad, and I’m so excited for the day that I can share those intimate little behind the scenes moments with someone I truly love (and who deserves to see them). But this independence is liberating. I’ve had a capoeirista friend from Philly over for a few days, and while it’s been great spending time with him, I honestly can’t wait to have my quiet alone time back on track 😉

I can’t wait to move into the new apartment with my girlfriend and decorate how we want :~) excited

also I can’t wait for summer to come I need some sun

After so many years when it seemed players either viewed a season with the Mets as an endless march through purgatory or came here because they were out of options (or bribed with ridiculous offers) there was a pattern born:

Guys wanted to be here.

They wanted to be Mets.

And now comes the most stunning example of all.

[…]

A few years ago, after David Wright re-signed and committed the rest of his career to the Mets, I asked him, point blank, a simple question: Why?

โ€œBecause I love it here,โ€ he said. โ€œBecause when things are going well, thereโ€™s no better place to have that kind of success. And because I believe the organization is committed to bringing us back to that place.โ€

At the time, you wondered if maybe Wright had gotten a brand-new turnip truck as part of his deal. It always was clear he wanted to be here. But his always seemed like a lonely voice in the wilderness, destined to echo in the silence of empty ballparks for years on end.

Then Flores pondered leaving what the Mets were building, and he started to cry. And Wheeler saw his name in the papers for reasons other than his recovery, and he pressed the buttons on his cell phone. Even Daniel Murphy, clearly, was hoping something would break for him here, seemed to wait a little bit longer to see if he could stay in the band.

Now Cespedes stays in the band. The Mets, hovering under a cloud of inferiority for so long, have emerged as a destination place. And why not? Thereโ€™s all that pitching. Thereโ€™s the NL pennant theyโ€™ll raise toward the sky at Citi Field on April 8. And now, there is Cespedes, who did the most incredible thing Friday night: He left a huge pile of money on the table in favor of a lesser pile of money.

He wanted to be a Met.
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Batman VS The Mad Hatter ►   G̘̥̮̎͋ ̣̠͈ͥ̊̈́A̮̙̝͈ͬ̌̋ ̝̤̗͉̘̏͑̚M͕͉̹̲ ̙̄ͪ̉ͣ̈̇E͖̯̔ͯ̌̐̌̐ ̞͎̻͙ͭ͆ͨͮ̇O͍̙ ͍́Ṿ̪̲͈ͥͯ͛̍͆̋ͪ ͓͙͒ͩ̿́̋ͣ͌ͅE͍͍̣̥̼̱̱̓ͮͯͣ̈ ͓̮̹̖͚R̯̘͕̆ͮ̀ͬͭ

Easy to Learn Korean 1336 – Look for people or places.

I commissioned the lovely @orokay to do an outfit design for my Cousland, Gilan, so here he is in all of his glory in casual, Warden, and fancy outfits.  She did an excellent job capturing Gil’s  personality/style and if you’re looking to commission someone, I can’t recommend her highly enough.

I woke up early this morning to watch the sun rise. It’s nice to be alone with nature sometimes. A sunrise is a perfect reminder of how beautiful life can be if we really slow down to appreciate it from time to time. Good morning 🌅

somewhere between finding myself in tears during yoga yesterday and hardly sleeping last night I realized how incredibly impatient and relentless I was being on myself this week. I’ve mentioned before that this isn’t uncommon at all. I have bad habits just like every single person does an mine tend to involve me being my own worst enemy.

I fight myself for never working hard enough. so instead all I do is work and think about what I could be doing more of or better or differently to the point that that’s what fills my mind leaving no room to grow and think and thrive in the areas I’m trying to work so hard in. maybe none of that makes sense. but maybe a few of you feel it too.

so I took the day off. I read all day, I ate pizza with my mom, I got in two workouts, I hung new prints in my apartment. and I felt guilty for all of it. even now the idea of reading more of the book I was enjoying earlier makes me anxious. I feel like it’s a waste of time or unproductive or lazy. and that’s scary. we glorify work and busyness and being nonstop, and clearly I have too, almost to the point that I didn’t let myself think there was any other option.

maybe taking even one day a week to do absolutely whatever I feel like I need will be even more productive and influential than the other six days of working.
I didn’t mean for this caption to turn into paragraphs. but I feel like I’ve crashed hard enough so many times with this that I’m not the only one who struggles harder with that balance than almost anything else. give yourself a break – a mental, physical, emotional break.