it’s so (amazing? ridiculous? ridiculously amazing?) i’m dying
you have courses on how to sell luxury products properly (apparently harrod’s really like these, every other page has an endorsement from harrod’s, harrod’s is 10/10 would recommend again) including sUBJECTS TO AVOID WHEN CONVERSING WITH CLIENTELE (unfortunately they do not specify exactly what these are… a waistcoat and a cummerbund worn together? HORRORS!)
there is also a day school for your average 1% super pampered child because, and i am not making this up:
Debrett’s Cygnet School ensures a child has social ease and confidence
when speaking in all situations, combined with the charisma and charm to
guarantee they are both invited back to the next playdate and are also
successful in school interviews.
yep. WE NEED TO SEND OUR CHILD TO AN EXTREMELY POSH SCHOOL TO MAKE SURE HE GETS INVITED TO THE NEXT PLAYDATE. HAVE MY ASSISTANT PHONE THEM TOMORROW, DARLING.
you can also pay over £7000 to send your child to International Young Achiever Day to enrich them with experiences in “arts, culture, and aristocratic life”
or you can get them to arrange your personal shopping in paris (MINIMUM ONE DAY!) or milan (MINIMUM TWO DAYS!) to which you would presumably fly on your private jet and have the entire city shut down
or you can write to get advice from their blog on How To Handle Nepotism At the Office (really? this would be a problem? who could have seen that coming?)
they also do weddings, your Groom’s Day includes things like “Male Grooming, considerations and advice” and “Managing nerves and supporting the bride” (oh my god help these people) (the price includes a Celebratory Glass of Whiskey for each attendee on the house, good thing your money is being well spent)
or you can read society biographies of 500 Important People, presumably so you know who is who in the royal ascot receiving line, there is also an Essential Guide to the Peerage
basically it’s amazing/insane/is this really how the super-rich live/i have now spent way too much time on it
(and yes before you ask, all of it is making me want a CS AU where Emma is a consultant at one of these places and she has the task of trying to turn Killian into a Distinguished Society Gentleman and trying to hide that she wasn’t by any means born into privilege and worked her way up and she thinks he’s a spoiled rich boy and they don’t like each other and oh god she has to teach him how to set a table and which fork to eat peas with but just because his dad has a lot of money doesn’t mean that his childhood has been fun at all and it would be the biggest fluff and champagne bubble puff piece ever bUT)
I’ve been eyeing this house ever since I first lived in Portland ten years ago. It’s right around the corner from one of our favorite coffee shops and I’ve always wished it would come up for sale. Through the years it has become more and more run down, but there is something perfect about that state of disrepair that I love. → Peter Schweitzer