in your goddamn life

Rasticore: [just fucking jams his cloak on over his shoulder spikes, ripping new ones each time, cloaks last a week at most before they’re more shred than cloth]

Toffee: [meticulously sews lining around spike holes in new cloak because he understands having an Aesthetic but seeing this inefficiency physically pains him]

Toffee to Rasticore: Here, fix your life, you goddamn disaster

me being (very) brutally honest with the signs

Aries- You’re such a goddamn hothead all the goddamn time. Not everyone likes to be constantly doing something every second of every day. You get angry with people for the smallest and most trivial reasons but god forbid someone take a dig at you. You’re such a hypocrite and it’s annoying as fuck. You act like an edgy teenager that’s constantly throwing a tantrum. You also boss people around and expect everyone to just follow your lead and if they don’t, you get pissed at them for having a mind of their own. You seriously need to take a look at your life and stop seeing everything as a fucking challenge that’s rigged against you. My god, I get tired just being in your presence. 

Taurus- You’re a lazy fuck and way too materialistic and possessive. You literally have no desire to do anything because you love to sit on your ass. You take “treat yourself” to a whole new level and not in a healthy way whatsoever. It seems like every chance you get you cause arguments and then you contradict whatever the other person is saying just because you can’t look at anything from a different point of view. Even if you get to the point where you realize you’re in the wrong and the other person is right, you’ll just continue to argue for the sake of arguing and god forbid your ego take even the slightest blow. It’s irritating as shit like you really think you know best when in reality you’re just a stubborn bitch. What a bore.

Gemini- Look, I know you guys get a lot of flak. But take this into consideration…… it’s because most if not all of it is FUCKING TRUE. You have so many different personalities I don’t know which one is even real. You gossip 24/7 and flip-flop between who you talk to and who you talk about. You’re completely unreliable and unpredictable and also clingy as fuck. Seriously, I feel like I can’t get away from you. I just want to go to the bathroom, I don’t need to hear the story right now about how Sarah said that Dylan said that Kimberly found a sock in the dryer that wasn’t hers. Literally no one cares. Another thing that you do is once you get tired of someone, you just throw them away like garbage. (Also Trump is a gemini, and I know you guys can’t control that but like come on. Of course he’s a gemini.)

Cancer- You really need to stop being so whiny or I’m actually going to lose it. Everyone has problems so stop acting like such a victim all the goddamn time. You’re so moody all the time and you act like a small child that needs to have their diaper changed. You also cling onto people as soon as you meet them and cry if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 fucking minutes. Don’t you have your own life to live? Oh wait, I forgot you spend every second in a dark room and refuse to come outside unless it’s to answer the door because you ordered shitty takeout. You consider changing your clothes adventurous and honestly it’s so boring. Introverted doesn’t even describe you, you’re more like a complete hermit (CRAB. HA!)

Leo- Hey leo, wow, are you actually reading this? I’m kind of shocked because I never thought you’d ever stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Seriously, you’re probably the most vain sign out of all of us. So much so that if someone criticizes you in even the smallest way, you get so offended and act like you’ve been shot in the chest. You think so highly of yourself, and while it’s great to have confidence, you take it to the next level, which is extreme arrogance. You love to have the conversation focused around you. You’re the type of friend that if someone is telling you about their problem or just their day in general, you’ll interrupt them and start talking about yourself and it’s DAMN ANNOYING. How do you still have friends?

Virgo- I’m gonna tell you right now, you’re not as perfect as you think you are. You’re so quick to critique other people that you write them off as not good enough before even getting to know them. You’re the type of person that would tell their friend that they were breathing too loudly. For fucks sake, you’re such an over analyzing pedant it makes me want to slap you in the face with my fucking asymmetrical hand. Your pessimism is damn near blinding, I probably wouldn’t want to hang around you for more than 10 minutes or you’d make me feel self conscious about how I fucking walk or some shit. You can’t take or make a joke. You’re skeptical about everything and you’re completely inflexible. You like to think of yourself as an intellectual but really you’re stuck up, narrow minded and someone I constantly find myself rolling my eyes at.

Libra- You are manipulative as shit. You’ll tell someone they look good without even looking up from your phone. You lie all the time and don’t really give a fuck if you hurt other people’s feelings because you really only look out for yourself. You’re also a huge fucking coward. When your friends need you to have their back and actually be there for them, you run and hide and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t want to get involved!”. What a lame fucking excuse for ditching your friend in their time of need. You’re also extremely indecisive to the point where it’ll take you 3 hours just to choose where you want to go eat. It’s tiring as fuck. Just MAKE A CHOICE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Have your own fucking opinion. You’re like a goddamn sheep.

Scorpio- Why the FUCK are you so aggressive for no fucking reason? You manipulate people just for the fun of it. You get jealous so easily and usually you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. You just are. It’s pathetic. You like to think that you’re so cool and mysterious but in reality people just see you as a moody and brooding asshole that no one really wants to bother getting to know. I mean, why would they? What’s the point? Every time someone even tries to get close to you, you completely brush them off and act like you don’t care about them because keeping your “mystifying” aura is soo important to you. And if you do let someone in, you treat them like they’re your possession and it’s creepy as hell. You obsess over them and you want to control them. God forbid they hang out with someone that isn’t you and then you resent them for no goddamn reason other than having a life of their own. Do me a favor scorpio and don’t talk to me.

Sagittarius- Honestly if a sag is reading this, you’re just straight up getting a taste of your own medicine. You’re tactless as shit and it makes me not want to be around you, ever. You’re inconsiderate of others and impatient with everyone. If someone isn’t moving up to your standards you will become agitated and aggressive and then you take it out on the person. You constantly need to be doing something else because your attention span lasts about 2 fucking seconds. You act like an 8 year old. You’re also really superficial. You don’t bother getting to know the deeper layers of a person because, like I said, you’re impatient and also just plain lazy. You take people for granted and are careless when handling the feelings of people closest to you. You’re also a really self-obsessed know-it-all. Go climb a fucking tree, sag.

Capricorn- Four words. Lighten. The fuck. Up. You are by far the most power-hungry of all the signs. You take everything so completely seriously that I don’t even know if you understand what “fun” even is. You always have to have two feet on the ground at all times and you can never ever be spontaneous and it’s so fucking dull. You’re conservative and disdainful nature can be so overbearing at times that even your friends need to get away from you. That is, if you have friends. You’re a complete pessimist so who knows if anyone can actually tolerate that. You constantly have to be the most successful person in a room, and you make sure you reach this level of success through abusive and controlling behavior towards the people around you. Your selfishness grosses me out.

Aquarius- I asked you what time it was. I didn’t ask you if I was afraid of time passing or the fact that it’s a manmade construct. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up about this deep shit for once. I don’t want to contemplate how large the universe really is at fuckin 8:30 am on a Monday. You’re rebellious even when it doesn’t matter and honestly all it does is piss people off. You’re constantly trying to deviate from the norm that you make the same fucking mistakes that other people already made, but you don’t fucking learn from other people’s mistakes because you always have to go your own way. Maybe listen to other people for once? You’re the most detached sign out of all of them and you hurt people by acting aloof all the fucking time but you don’t care because you chalk it up to “this is who I am!!! I need my freedom!!!!”. You need to actually think about how your actions affect people you care about because if you don’t, you’re REALLY gonna end up alone and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it. 

Pisces- You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and get it through your head that you’re not always the damn victim. You don’t take responsibility for your actions and you always find a way to blame it on someone else because you’re NEVER in the wrong, are you? Poor little pisces. You’re not as innocent as you want everyone to believe. You’re constantly daydreaming and it becomes really annoying when I’m trying to talk to you and you just completely zone out because you love living in your little imaginary world. You’re the WORST at solving your own problems and conflicts because instead of dealing with them you just avoid it all together and end up leaving the mess for someone else to clean up. You’re really nosy- you love to get in other people’s business. But you don’t go to the person directly, you have to be sneaky about it and gather rumors from other people. You’re also very over-sensitive. Out of all the signs, you’re by far the most likely to respond to this post saying how this isn’t true and that I’m just a “big fat meany!!!” and then add a bunch of angry/crying emojis.


(disclaimer: Don’t worry, I don’t really hate your sign (unless you’re a  * * * * * * … lmao). This was just for fun and I know it’s harsh. Don’t take it too personally. You’re an individual and ultimately you determine who you really are. Except for you, * * * * * * . Fuck you.) 

Can we just let two boys be gay and in love without making it about their sex life (I.e. Who “tops”)? It’s really none of your goddamn business what their sex life is like if they even have one???

Can we also let boys show affection for each other without shipping them/pressuring them to date, or, again, fantasizing about their sex life? Boys should be allowed to show affection for one another in a platonic manner.

Okay thanks for coming to my TED talk.

BTS Reaction: Angry Sex.

NSFW! Read at own risk.

Plus, by the way, I am writing about consensual angry sex! 

JIN.

“Save it - I don’t want to hear your excuses.” You spat at Jin, storming past him in absolute rage. Jin had built up frustration, wanting to bicker back at you, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead, he pulled on your arm, tugging you back, and giving you a rough kiss. Jin pushed you up against the wall, the kiss growing more intense.

You knew where this was heading, and you also knew that Jin wasn’t going to go easy on you, but you didn’t mind that one bit.

Originally posted by sannal2054

SUGA.

“Don’t ever talk to me like that again! I can’t even look at you, Yoongi!” Your face was twisted with anger.

“Won’t you even let me speak for a fucking second?” Yoongi argued back. You turned your back to Yoongi and scoffed. You couldn’t believe something so little made you both erupt into a massive argument. You wanted to apologise, but at the same time, you were too stubborn to do so. And it wasn’t all your fault either, so why couldn’t he apologise first?

You felt Yoongi’s arms wrap around your waist, and pull you forcefully into him. Your back was pressed against his chest, and you had let out a small gasp in shock.

“Say sorry.” Yoongi growled into your ear.

“No-fucking-way.”

Yoongi dipped his head into the side of your neck, leaving hickeys. You moaned his name, tilting your head so he had more access. You asked for him to touch you, to which he chuckled at your question.

“No. I’m not giving you what you want right away. Beg for me first.”

Originally posted by jiminwhyyougotnojams

RAP MONSTER.

“Go sleep on the couch or something. I’m not sleeping in the same bed as a liar.” You said coldly, staring at Namjoon in rage.

“Why do I have to be the one to sleep on the couch? You’re the one being fucking unreasonable!” Namjoon yelled.

“I’m not putting up with this!”

You were about to walk out of your bedroom and just sleep on the couch, when Namjoon pushed you onto the bed. He started to undo his belt, and that was when you realised what was happening. Once Namjoon unbuckled his belt, he postioned his body between your thighs, and leaned down, giving you the most heated and intense kiss you had ever experienced. He pulled away, and you whined, needing more.

“Don’t bother complaining tomorrow that you’re sore - you brought this on yourself.”

Originally posted by donewithjeon

J HOPE.

“Hoseok if you really hate me, then just leave!” You yelled, your hands clenching into fists.

“I never said that I hated you! I love you, alright?!” Hoseok retaliated. You groaned in frustration.

“Then fucking act like you do!” You barked back.

You didn’t know what to do, but tear your eyes away from Hoseok’s face as seeing his angered expression outraged you even more. You screwed your eyes shut, soon hearing footsteps approaching you. You opened your eyes immediately to see Hoseok right in front of you. As you was about to scream at him, he pushed you backwards until you could feel your table pressing into the lower of your back.

Hoseok’s lips became attatched to yours, and what usually would of been a slow passionate kiss, was actually aggressive and harsh. Your eyes widened, shocked at the almost demanding kiss the both of you shared. Hoseok pulled away, and lifted you up slightly. You sat on the table.

“So naughty, always getting into trouble with Daddy.”

Originally posted by heyexcusemeee

V.

“Why are you doing that, Tae?! Why do you always twist my words? I’m sick of it!” You almost screamed. “I. Hate. You!” You yelled, your words laced with malice. Your heart was rapid, averaging at - probably - 100 beats per minute.

Taehyung stayed silent. Honestly, you felt slightly embarrassed at the sudden silence that hung in the air.

Suddenly, Taehyung picked you up, your legs becoming wrapped around his waist. He kissed you, and you could feel the energy the both of you had put into the kiss. It was all out of frustration. Both of your tongues fought for dominance, but in the end, you gave in, letting him win.

He walked the both of you to the bed, not daring to break the kiss. He laid you down on the bed first, then started to remove your top.

“You never seem to learn, do you? I guess I’ll just have to teach you another lesson.”

Originally posted by jimin-bts-trashs

JIMIN.

“Leave, Jimin. Pack your stuff and get out of my life!” Of course, you didn’t mean a single word you said, but you wanted to say something to get the point across that you were extremely angry. You despised the feeling of anger as it had always got the best of you, and it made you say horrible things just due to the heat of the moment.

Jimin chuckled deeply, and you watched him in disgust.

“You think this is a joke?”

Jimin shook his head. “No, but I think you ought to be taught a lesson.” Jimin replied. “Upstairs. Bed. Now.” He ordered.

You did as he told you, rushing up the stairs to the bedroom, Jimin following closely behind.

Originally posted by jiminwhyyougotnojams

JUNGKOOK.

“If you would of just listened to what I said, I wouldn’t of had to keep telling you, Jungkook! Listen for once in your goddamn life! We wouldn’t have been in this fucking mess!” You were outraged, the temptation of wanting to pull your hair out was nearly impossible. You were trembling, feeling anger coursing through your own veins.

“You’re unbelievable!” Jungkook cried.

“That’s rich coming from your mouth, Jungkook.”

Jungkook’s eyes grew darker, but in that moment, you couldn’t of cared less. That was until he had you pushed against the wall, licking his lips and staring straight into your eyes.

“I’d be a good girl from here on now or otherwise, I’m not going to give you what you want. Daddy isn’t happy with you - not one bit.”

Originally posted by celinet7

The Point

Originally posted by cxhragrove

Billy Hargrove x Reader

Request: Billy angst

AN: Hi. Hello. I’m just going to leave this here and bury myself in my backyard. 

PART II


“You have third period free, right?” The boy that Y/N was partnered up with in chemistry, Chris, was standing next to her locker. He nodded. “I’ll meet you at the library tomorrow, then? See how much we can get done. God, I just hate how Mrs. Lewis just piles these things on us as if we have nothing else to do,” Y/N switched the books she had in her hands for the ones needed for homework that night.

A ruckus down the hall caught Chris’s attention, but Y/N knew who it was. Chris looked over Y/N’s shoulder. Y/N rolled her eyes, getting ready for the interaction. Chris sighed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, alright? We can go over the homework, too. I’m sure I’ll have some questions,” Chris started backing away as Billy and his friends got closer.  

“See you tomorrow!” Y/N called out to Chris. He gave a wave and turned around down the hall.

“Don’t leave on my account, Williams,” Billy yelled down the hall, his voice booming. Chris ignored him and turned down the connecting hall that would lead him to the parking lot.

“Hey! I’m talking to you, Williams!” Billy’s voice turned menacing as he and his friends made their way after him. Y/N grabbed Billy by the back of his jean jacket, trying to hold him back.

What are you doing?!” Y/N screeched at Billy. Billy whipped around, cornering Y/N at her locker. He slammed his hands on either side of her head, making her jump.

Keep reading

Really Very Important Advice for Knitters

1. FAQ: What can you use instead of a yarn bowl? Literally anything. Cups. Bowls. Cookie jars. Your little sisters. The skulls of your enemies.

The floor. The floor makes a fantastic place to put yarn.

Unless it’s the floor of your balcony. Because then the yarn will inevitably fall through the slats and the neighbors get kind of peeved about falling yarn cakes and also, you will absolutely have to throw the rest of your knitting after and then go downstairs and fetch it. Or so I’m told. By other people. Who are not me.

2. Whoever told you DPNs are hard and circular needles are where it’s at is a lying liar who is lying with their pants on fire. DPNs are not hard. Stitches do not slip off. There are no funny gaps. You do not poke yourself all the time. Circular needles on the other hand, exist solely because the devil once had a slow day and thought, “How do you think I could ruin people’s lives in the subtlest way?”

3. No. You never have enough yarn.

4. FAQ: How many projects are too many projects to have going at once? This is a trick question. Do not answer. Demand a lawyer. Or more yarn. Or both. Actually, make sure there is always a lawyer in your knitting circle. As a precaution.

5. All lost needles will be in the sofa. Only people who are not you will be able to find them. With their butts. Call it free acupuntcure, laugh, and offer them enough alcohol to not notice when you apply sutures.

6. You still don’t have enough yarn. Your kids, on the other hand, don’t really need that much lunch money. Or do they, the greedy little bastards?

7. You will never feel as in control of your goddamn mess of a life as when you make a gauge swatch. It is a heady feeling, best experienced sparingly so try not to make one more than once a year.

8. People who say knitting involves math obviously don’t understand you at all and really, if you’d wanted that fucking vest to fit, you would have bought it in a goddamn store and not invested a hundred and twenty bucks, seventy-five work hours, a broken marriage and traumatized children in it, so shut the fuck up and admire it, you asshole!!! ADMIRE IT!

9. Maybe get that yarn bowl after all. And that yarn. They match! You’re practically obligated to buy it now. In fact, buy seven skeins. At least.

10. Look. Patterns are really just society’s way of stifling your creative and free spirit, okay? Burn them. Burn them all.

11. Just take the fucking yarn already! Who cares if you can’t afford it. It’s not like the cops will ever -

this is you.

You’re 18, and starting over is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. You thought that breathing wouldn’t be something you’d have to learn all over again, but it is. It’s like as soon as you stopped on that bathroom floor, even just for a few minutes–it’s like you forgot how. Every time you inhale, it’s a conscious decision. One that you’re barely sure that you want to make. It rattles painfully through you like your lungs have rusted over, broken-down gears in a machine that doesn’t work anymore. You don’t know if they can be fixed, if you even want them to be. You breathe anyway. You’re 18, and this hospital room is too cold, and a nurse gently asks you if you know why you’re here. You do. You’re here because when you were 10, you felt like you weren’t good enough, and when you were 15, you felt terrified, when you were 17, you felt overwhelmed, and when you were 18, you didn’t want to feel at all. You don’t say any of this to the nurse. You nod instead. She continues to talk, but you don’t pay attention, instead letting your eyes drift over to the newspaper on the table next to your bed, open to the sports section. You’ve read the headline a few hundred times by now. You read it again, just in case it’s changed. It hasn’t yet. Maybe next time. You’re 18, and as you settle back against your pillow, you think about what your mom said, about taking a break. No hockey for a while. You consider it, and you can’t decide if it would be more like cutting off a limb or removing a tumor. You think there’s only one way to find out. — You’re 19, and by now you’re used to how the parents look at you when they think you don’t see. It’s never exactly a look of contempt. More morbid curiosity, even fascination. Like you’re a zoo animal, something to be gawked at for a few hours each week and talked about briefly under their breath so the kids can’t hear. You don’t know what they’re trying to see. Do they think you’re hiding something? That you have a stash of blow in your duffel bag? That if they can catch you at just the right time, they’ll see you shooting up right there on the ice? Fuck them, you decide. You have a job to do here, and it’s a good job. The kids call you Coach Z, just Z, and they let you forget there’s any letters beyond that one. You help Eli with his speed and Julie with her accuracy, and you don’t look outside the rink. Whenever the kids win a game, they mob you afterwards, fight to get in closer to you, and it feels good. They either don’t know or don’t care. To them, you’re just Coach Z. For now, that’s all you want to be. — You’re 21, and it’s just your third game at Samwell when a massive D-man from Harvard slams into you from behind. A penalty is called immediately, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re facedown on the ice, dazed, and your ribs ache like hell. As the D-man skates to the penalty box, you can hear the sneer in his voice. “Heard you liked snow more than ice, boy wonder.” Another coke joke. Original, you think dryly. There’s a medic skating toward you. You can get up on your own, but he insists on taking you back to the locker room to check out your ribs. As he’s finishing up (some bruises, but nothing broken), Shitty enters the locker room with a second medic. He’s walking gingerly. You ask him what happened. “I went for the guy that went for you. Didn’t work out great for me,” he says, sitting next to you on the bench with a wince. You stare at him, temporarily dumbfounded. You ask why. He’s your teammate, he tells you. And your friend. Right? You look at him, this skinny younger kid with shaggy hair and a mustache half-grown in and ribs quickly becoming an abstract painting in shades of purple, and you realize he’s probably the closest thing to a friend you’ve got. You hold out a fist, and he bumps it gently. “Got your back, brother,” Shitty says. Yeah. Got your back. — You’re 23, and you have a problem. More precisely, a short, blond problem. With a penchant for baking. It’s not that Bitty’s not talented. He’s fast, and he’s got good hands. But if he can’t take a check on the ice, he’s never going to be a good player. You like solving problems. So that’s why you thought this was a good idea. But now, as you stare down at Bitty, who’s curled up on the ice, trembling, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead, you start to have some doubts. The thing is, you recognize that look in his eyes. That fear. You’ve been there before. And you don’t want to leave anyone there, not if you can help it. So you set your mouth into a firm line and order him to get up. You check him, just softly and slowly so he won’t be so scared. And you do it again. And again. And again. By the end of practice, he’s still shaking. But he’s not curled up on the ice any more. You decide that’s enough of a win for today. You learned to embrace little victories years ago. — You’re 24, and you’re outside your new apartment, and you already miss them so much it hurts. You don’t remember what it’ll be like again tomorrow, waking up without Shitty just a bathroom away. You can’t imagine coming home and not finding Holster on your couch, yelling about…Buffy, or Liz Lemon, or whoever is the star of whatever he’s watching. You can’t think of coming home and not having the kitchen table smell like Ransom’s highlighters, or hearing Dex and Nursey argue a room away, or hear Chowder’s workout playlists blasting from the basement. But you have to, don’t you? You have to unlock this door, sit on the nice new furniture you picked out with your mom, open your fridge that won’t be full of mold and too many bottles of Sriracha. And in the morning you’ll have to drive yourself down to the rink, shake hands with the administrative team, meet a few of the guys. And though your team–you can’t stop thinking of them as your team, even if your last game together was months ago–isn’t here, you know that they’re on your side. Especially Bitty. You’re still scared about…this, this thing you have with him. Not of how you feel. You’re sure of that. But of fucking it up. Because you know, deep down, he is one of the best things that’s happened to you in a long time. It’s a risk. But you figured out ages ago that some risks are worth taking. — You’re 27, and you’re tired of hiding. Really, if they ask you later why you did it, that’s what you’ll say. It’s mental exhaustion more than anything that makes you let it slip. You’re just tired–tired of having to hold back truths and substitute incorrect pronouns–and when you mention offhandedly in a post-loss interview that you just want to go home to see your boyfriend, well. That’s it. You’re just tired. For a moment, all five reporters are silent, then they start buzzing like wasps, interrogating you, demanding you tell them the things they shouldn’t have the right to know about anyway. You refuse to go into detail. The assistant managers will probably be pissed, but you think George will get it. She’s known for so long. You go home, and you see your boyfriend, and neither of you turns on the TV. You know it won’t exactly be smooth sailing ahead. There’ll be press conferences, and interviews, and even more scrutiny, and a whole farm’s worth of assorted bullshit. But when you’re holding him that night, you don’t doubt that it’s worth it. Because you’re 27, and you’re too in love to care. And soon enough, you’ll be more. You’ll be 28, 35, 67. Married, a father, a grandpapa. And your life will be messy, and joyful, and so goddamn worth it. You’re going to be glad you decided to keep breathing. You’re you, and starting over is the best thing you ever had to do.

so you fell asleep talking on the phone with me and
when I hang up I don’t realize I’ve pulled up his number until I look down again.
that’s what he is.
muscle memory.
gut reflex.
I’ve never mentioned it to you but I’m drawn to things that make me bleed and he’s got a box cutter heart.
i keep trying to claw my way back to him like it matters, still.
like I don’t have you to keep the darkness from getting in.
like I don’t have you to call me baby and text me good morning.
like I don’t have you at all.
so I’m sorry, in advance, for what this love could do to you.
i just don’t know how to stay when it doesn’t ache and
i don’t think you’ve ever hurt a goddamned thing in your life.
—  box cutter lover– lily rain

castielismyfavouriteangel  asked:

"What the hell were you thinking??" - "To be completely honest: nothing."

The first time they kiss, it’s not a kiss at all.

Castiel is kneeling in the mud, and there’s a slow tide of panic starting to wash over him, because Dean isn’t breathing. Castiel killed the creature that dragged Dean under the surface, had immediately pulled Dean up for air and onto the shore, but Dean still isn’t breathing. Castiel’s borrowed grace is weak and flickering, barely enough to light a candle at the moment and certainly not enough to do any kind of healing, and Dean still isn’t breathing. Sam is miles away doing reconnaissance in the town because they didn’t realize they would stumble across the monster so quickly, and Dean still isn’t breathing.

Objectively, he knows the concept of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He knows how human bodies work, he knows the complicated processes of the respiratory system. Knowing and doing are two very different things, but he also knows how long the human brain can be deprived of air before suffering permanent damage, so he has no choice but to try.

He expects to feel something - he’s not sure what - when he puts his lips to Dean’s for the first time. Maybe something like a shock from static electricity, or a vibration under his vessel’s skin like the rumble of nearby thunder, or a flip in his stomach like the moment before spreading his wings to fly. Instead, there’s only the burgeoning panic and the running mantra of breathe breathe breathe.

Castiel breathes air into him - air that he probably needs for himself. Angels don’t need to breathe, but he’s not much of an angel at the moment. 

He forces air into Dean’s mouth again, and again, fingers curled around the back of Dean’s neck. He’s pausing for another breath when Dean spasms, a wet noise clawing out of his throat, and starts to cough. Castiel immediately pushes him onto his side, and Dean heaves up water and continues coughing.

Finally, with a groan, Dean flops onto his back. He’s breathing heavily, but he’s breathing. The sheer relief brings sudden pinpricks of tears to Castiel’s eyes, and it’s such a human reaction, but he doesn’t care. He sits back heavily on his heels, and at the movement, Dean’s eyes flick over to him. There’s a moment where Castiel knows they’re both thinking about how close Dean came to dying.

Then Dean carefully pushes himself onto an elbow and raises his fingers to his lips.

“…dude, please tell me you didn’t mack on me while I was out,” he jokes weakly. His voice is hoarse and raw from coughing. “Talk about taking advantage of a guy when he’s down. C’mon, man, you’re better than that.”

Joking is good. If Dean is joking, he’s going to be all right.

Castiel huffs and manages a faint smile. “A little gratitude would be nice.”

Keep reading

Merle: I got a tree arm.

Jess: That’s super great. Hey, what happened there, by the way? You had two-

Magnus: We’ll tell you later.

Merle: Son of a bitch cut my damn arm off, that’s what the hell happened.

Magnus: I SAVED. YOUR GODDAMN LIFE!

Naruto has gotten amnesia!

Requested by anon!

Naruto hit his head too hard one day and got amnesia as a result. What do various characters tell him to try and help??

1. Sakura

Sakura: “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Sakura: “It’s okay guys I’ve got this. This one is easy.”

Sakura: “Naruto…..remember how we got Sasuke back?”

Naruto: “Who the hell is Sasuke?”

Sakura: “Oh god it’s hopeless.”

2. Kakashi

Kakashi: “C’mon Naruto, snap out of it. You’re upsetting Kurama.”

Naruto: “Ku…rama? What are you talking about?”

Kakashi: “You know. The demon fox inside you.”

Naruto: “The WHAT inside of me?? WHAT DEMON FOX? THERE’S A DEMON INSIDE ME??”

Kurama: “Maybe not the best idea.”

3. Gaara

Gaara: “Oh….this isn’t very preferable now is it.”

Gaara: “I can’t lose Naruto as a friend. Naruto, look me in the eyes and tell me you remember everything we’ve been through.”

Naruto: “You…..have very bad dark circles. Maybe you should get some more sleep?”

Temari: “Gaara no don’t cry please it’s okay it’s fine!”

4. Kurama

Kurama: “Look Naruto, this is probably gonna freak you out but you’ve got to listen to me.”

Kurama: “You are a Jinchuuriki. That means you have a tailed beast inside you. I am the tailed beast. I’m a Kyuubi.”

Naruto: *Incoherent screaming* “GET OUT OF ME.”

Kurama: “NO STOP BEING A BABY.”

5. Hinata

Hinata: “H-He’s lost his memory?? Of everything??”

Hinata: “Naruto please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me! We’re getting married in a few months!”

Naruto: “Well I mean…..I don’t know who you are but I wouldn’t mind marrying someone as pretty as you!”

Hinata: “I…I….I don’t know how to respond to that!”

6. Konohamaru

Konohamaru: “Waaah? You’ve lost your memory??”

Konohamaru: “But….but surely you couldn’t have forgotten the most important jutsu of all!?”

Naruto: “Which….would be…?”

Konohamaru: “Your sexy jutsu!!”

Naruto: “My wha-? That sounds stupid.”

Konohamaru: “BLASPHEMER!”

7. Sasuke

Sasuke: “Ridiculous. There is no possible way he could of forgotten every damn thing over the past few years.”

Sasuke: “Naruto, if you don’t snap out of it I’m going to ram this chidori into your chest. Got that?”

Naruto: “Your…..your fist is filled with lightning!”

Sasuke: “Ten seconds and counting.”

8. Tsunade

Tsunade: “Brat. Do you want to be Hokage or not?”

Naruto: “What’s a Hokage?”

Tsunade: “It’s what YOU’VE wanted to be your whole goddamn life! You idiot! Now stop acting like a fool!”

Naruto: “I’m sorry maam but your chest is distracting me.”

Tsunade: “Sakura baby hold me back ‘cause I’m about to punch this sucker into next week.”

9. Iruka

Iruka: “Guys, guys! I’ve got this! Just let me handle it.”

Iruka: “Naruto; come with me.”

Naruto: “Where are we going, stranger I’ve never met until now?”

Iruka: “You’ll see.”

10. Ichiraku Ramen Guy

Ichiraku Ramen Guy: “Naruto! The usual I assume?”

Iruka: “He’s lost his memory. Can you restore it?”

Ichiraku Ramen Guy: “One large miso ramen with extra pork coming up!”

Naruto: “This is….amazing! It’s almost like….oh my god, Iruka Sensei? What happened??”

Iruka: “You’re the hero we’ve always needed, Teuchi.”

“Bruce...sucks” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The women of the League are teasing you about the love bites that litter your body….

I already kinda had the idea of doing a similar story on the women side…So here we go. Last time the guys of the League were mocking Bruce for the scratches on his back (you can read that here), now, it’s Batmom’s turn (though I feel it’s not as funny as the other, I tried something else you know, so that the stories wouldn’t be exactly the same, too similar and shit…erf, whatever, hope it’s kinda ok). Hope you’ll like it (insecuritiesoverloadbutitsok) 

WARNING FOR LANGAGE and slightly NSFW, just slightly. Also, My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com

__________________________________________________

It wasn’t really part of your initial plan to shower at the same time than them. Bruce told you about his friends trying to tease him about the nail marks you left on his body after a heated night, and you were afraid that your girl friends would do the same, a bit paranoid about it really…

But then you thought about the fact that usually, women tended to be a bit more mature about that (maybe?), that they would probably behave and ignore the hundreds (literally) love bites on your body. 

Besides, there was only Diana, Zatanna and Dinah, surely, they wouldn’t say anything, after all, they were used to Bruce being affectionate towards you when he thought no one was watching, small love bites wouldn’t shock them or anything. They were your three best friends, they knew how to not intrude too much in your life. They would definitely not talk about the marks your husband left on your body. 

And oh you were so wrong. 

You were in your underwear when you started to notice their smirks, and the way they whispered in each other’s ears while looking at you. No…could it be ?

You turn around, and when Diana’s eyes go wide at the sight of the love bites on your front while Zatanna and Dinah just start laughing stupidly, you know you actually were right to “fear” a reaction from them. You roll your eyes and give them your best “really ?” facial expression before saying :

-Are you guys snickering like idiots because of the love bites ? 

Zatanna answers your question :

-No, we’re snickering like idiots because Bruce…

And then it happens. The worst pun you ever heard in your life (and you were used to Dick and Tim’s nerdy jokes). All three of them yell : 

-SUCKS !

Stun. That’s what you are. Wow. Even worst that the poor attempt from your male friend in the league to embarrass Bruce. An awful pun. 

Keep reading

You Drive Me Crazy (Star Lord Reader Insert)

Anon Request: May I please request a star lord one shot where you and Peter really hate each other and you always disobey his orders and you’re both constantly fight but there’s lots of sexual tension and one day you and him get trapped in the ship and you’re yelling at him and he’s had enough and smutty smut where we get dominant star lord? Thank you you soooo much oh and btw I ADORE YOUR WRITING💕/hiiii, so idek how to say this but i really want a ‘bad girl’ and spanking/daddy kink going on with our sexy star-dork, i meant, star-lord. let’s make it very rough and animalistic. oh god i need help im sorry im awkward. thank you so much and im a fan of your work :)

Warnings: smut, language, orgasm denial, daddy!kink, spanking, overall roughness

Words: 2836

i’m so sorry i haven’t posted in like 10 years but here ya go! enjoy!

———————————————————————————————————

The loud slam of your door echoed through the ship. God, you needed to either punch something or scream. He was so goddamn infuriating and you were reaching your breaking point. Peter was always on your ass about something and he was especially pissy today just because you didn’t listen to him on the mission.

Essentially, your plan was much better than his. But because he was the great Star Lord and everything had to go his way or else he’d throw a bitch fit, you went with his idea. Basically, you were sent out to stop some group of galactic douchebags who were on a rampage planet over planet, stealing and murdering innocent people. Their leader was an easy target, for he was obnoxious and gaudy whenever he made his appearance.

“Stay behind and wait for the signal,” Peter ordered. You rolled your eyes, but cooperated and got into place with him behind the grimy dumpster. However, the leader came stumbling out of the bar he was currently pillaging. He was obviously inebriated, judging by his slightly greened, yellow skin and the sloppy smile painted across his face. And, there were also only three of his bodyguards with him. There couldn’t have been a more golden opportunity.

Moving to charge at them, Peter stopped you by grabbing your ankle. He was still crouched on the ground and he shot you warning look that let you know if you did this, you’d be in trouble later. Deep down, you relished in pissing him off, so you silently blew him a kiss and slipped out from behind your hiding place.

It was almost too easy enough taking them down. A few good punches and a swift kick to the groin later, they were all whining on the ground like newborns babies. Even though you’d earned yourself a nice bruise to the cheek, you grinned valiantly in Peter’s direction. However, the loud bang of the bar door being kicked open made you jump and, once the rest of the group saw their leader was on unconscious on the ground with you standing over him, and all out warfare began. You were lucky enough to dodge the first few blasts of gunfire and run back behind the dumpster as the Guardians shot back.

Once the firing had stopped and bodies lied splayed across the ground, you sighed and ran your fingers through your hair calmingly. Your wrist was gripped tightly by none other that Quill, who pulled you up harshly from your stooped position into a standing one.

“What the hell happened to the plan?” he gritted. You tried pulling your hand away but he was stronger, especially when he was angry.

“I improvised,” you replied coolly. This time, you were successful in ripping your arm back and you turned on your heel before walking away. Usually, this was his cue to shut up and drop it. But, when you heard his heavy footsteps behind you and felt his taut grip on your upper arm, it seemed as though this was far from over.

“Don’t walk away from me!” he yelled, stopping you in place. Your eyes widened slightly at the volume of his voice, for he was never one to really yell, but you quickly recouped yourself. “I am sick and tired of you not listening to me! You’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep pulling stupid shit like this!”

To be fair, he was right. You didn’t listen to him or anyone for that matter. Taking orders from someone else was something you rarely did and, because of that fact, there were always problems between Peter and yourself. He wanted to control you, you didn’t want to be controlled.

“Back off, Star Bitch,” you fought back, using that name you knew he loathed. “I took him down just like I was supposed to. What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to stop acting like a bratty little kid and take orders properly!” He stepped closer to you in an attempt to be intimidating. You moved even closer, unafraid while almost completely closing the space between you two.

“I don’t need to take orders from anyone, especially you!”

Peter’s glare was hard, eyes narrowed and ablaze. You weren’t scared of him whatsoever and definitely weren’t going to be talked down to like you were born yesterday. The bickering and fighting continued all the way back to the ship and was only interrupted when the talking tree said his only line.

“I am Groot.”

“Haha, I was thinking the same thing,” Rocket laughed. Simultaneously, you and Peter both directed your daggering glances from each other to the small raccoon. He held his paws up in defense and shook his head, still chuckling obnoxiously. “Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t say it.”

“Then what did he say?” you demanded.

“That you two should just do it already.” Unintentionally, your jaw dropped at the insane thought. You, luckily, were able to fight down the heat that threatened to crawl up your cheeks and come up with something to say back so you didn’t look as dumbfounded as you felt.

“Sorry, but huge asshole isn’t my type.”

“Well, aggravating bitch isn’t mine,” Peter retorted. You huffed and rolled your eyes, storming back to your bunk. This was always happening, but it’d never gone this far. Anger boiled deep within you and your mind wandered around murder and how to get away with it.  There suddenly was a loud pounding at your door and you groaned loudly as you were forced to get up. After maliciously flinging the door open the door, it was none other than Quill again.

“And by the way- whoa!” He was cut off short by his body being forced in a collision with yours. Losing your balance, the both of you fell to the ground in a heap with the weight of his body almost crushing you completely. You caught a glimpse of Drax before the the door slammed shut, meaning he was the one who pushed him, and a heavy click followed. Shoving Peter off, you got up and went to open the door. When you pressed the button, and an ear piercing hiss was heard. Judging by the sound, someone must’ve rewired your door to lock from the outside and you resorted to pounding your hands against it.

“Let us out!” you called, still thumping your palms against the exit.

“Oh no, neither of you are getting out of there until you make up… or make out,” Rocket announced through the door. You faintly heard him snicker to himself before he continued. “Seriously though, you guys are giving us all a headache.”

“If you don’t let us out of here, I swear I’m going to skin you alive,” you threatened, desperate to leave this confined space. Especially when Peter was in there with you.

“We’ll be back later and if you have to go, try holding it in. Have fun!”

“Rocket!” you screamed. Giving up, you turned around and leaned back against the door, sliding down into a slump on the floor.

You went for God knows how long without talking. How long had it been? Minutes? Hours? The concept of time seemed to disappear more and more as the tension grew the same. Finally, he spoke.

“This is all your fault,” Peter muttered to himself, now lounging like a fat cat on top of your bed. How dare he?

“You got something to say, Star Bitch?” you sassed, getting up from your seated position. You strutted over to the bed where he lied lazily with his hands folded behind his head and you put your own hands on your hips. At the mention of the nickname he hated, Quill glared up at you and sat up.

“Yeah, (Y/N), I do. This is all your fault,” he repeated while standing up so he could tower over you.

“Please elaborate for me.”

“Well maybe, just maybe, if you listened to me for once in your goddamn life,” he explained condescendingly whilst taking steps forward, urging you to step back, “none of this would’ve happened.”

“Well maybe, just maybe, you can kiss my ass.” And with that, you pushed past him and went to sit on your bed, arms folded under your chest. However, he quickly pulled you up from your seated position and slammed you against the wall, holding your wrists down so you couldn’t move. His movements were fast and, on impact, almost knocked the wind out of your lungs. “Get your hands of me you piece of-”

You were cut off short by his lips pressed in a bruising kiss against yours. It was astonishing, for it was the last thing you expected. A war raged within your mind, battling between whether to still be angry or not. It was very confusing. You welcomed yelling and screaming, maybe even some hitting, but this newfound intimacy was shocking. And judging by the growing warmth in the pit of your stomach, you weren’t completely dissatisfied with it. An unintentional moan escaped your throat as your eyes fluttered closed and you finally joining in the kiss.

Your wrists were still pinned against the wall so you unable to touch him and his grip tightened even more as he moved to nip sensually at your neck. Gasping as his teeth sunk into your delicate flesh, he sucked a mark then move to whisper against your ear.

“You need to learn how to listen and not be so defiant,” he muttered, his voice an octave lower than usual, “and, obviously, I’m gonna be the one to have to teach you.”

Even though his tone was an enormous turn on, his words themselves were not. Something in the back of your mind still didn’t sit well with obeying him, but you played along with his little game anyways.

“Now,” he began as he released your hands to grab your ass instead, “what was it you were about to call me?” You hesitated, debating on whether or not to actually tell him you were going to call him a piece of shit. But he was impatient and demanded your answer by pressing his thigh against your pant-clad, yet heated, core. You threw your head back against the wall and began melting slowly. “Answer me.”

“Daddy,” you moaned, not actually meaning to call him that. As soon as it slipped out, you immediately felt embarrassed and awaited a snarky remark about your secret kink.

“That’s more like it,” he hummed. This whole experience was just surprise after surprise and, to be honest, you didn’t want it to stop. “Anything I say, you do and you ask for permission otherwise. Understand?”

“Yeah.”

Yeah?

“Yes,” you corrected yourself. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Go over to the bed.”

You wanted to put up a fight, you wanted to give him a hard time but your legs were already shuffling towards his desired spot. He strutted up behind you and moved your hair to one side to leave rough kiss on the nape of your neck. His lips smirked against your skin when you moaned and Quill forced you onto the bed on your hands and knees. You kept your face forward and suddenly felt your pants being tugged past your hips, consequently exposing your butt to the mild air of the vessel. His fingers traced the curve of your bottom and you shivered with delight, feeling yourself getting wetter with anticipation.

“Count them,” he ordered. Before you could question what he meant, a hard slap made contact with your skin. It stung badly but he soothed it over with the palm of his hand.

“One,” you said, breathing uneven. Smack after smack after smack, your cheeks turning bright red under his hard touch. You were at 13 now and you could barely take anymore. Peter could tell by your heavy pants that you were though and flipped you over so that your back was pressed against the soft mattress.

Peter took his jacket off and threw it across the room a little too dramatically. It fell into the corner with a loud thud and you would’ve laughed at his over-intense attitude had your clothes not been practically being ripped off.

Your top was ripped over your head, your bra snapped open, your pants pulled off your legs, leaving you only in your panties. In the heat of the moment, you forgot the rules and tried pulling at his soft cotton shirt. Quill stopped, smacking your hands away and grabbing your jaw to make your look at him. His eyes were cold and serious and you felt anxious as you lie naked underneath him.

“What did I say?” he asked harshly.

“Anything you say, I do and I ask for permission otherwise,” you repeated his words from before meekly.

“Good girl. And did you ask permission to take off my clothes?”

“Peter, c’mon, I-”

“Excuse me?”

“Daddy, please. I want you,” you begged. Your body was hot and on fire, for all you wanted was him. It was taking too long and patience wasn’t one of your virtues. He began trailing kisses down your body and you shivered under each one. His teeth grazed over your hip bone as his finger hooked under the waistband of your underwear. Then, he pried you thighs open, holding your legs tightly in place and exposing your wetness.

Peter nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, the scruff of his beard slightly tickling you.

“Daddy,” you pleaded again, desperate for something. He chuckled a little to himself before ghosting his tongue all the way up your pussy, getting a full taste. You gasped at the terrific sensation, which egged him on. He sucked on your clit, licked patterns around and dipped his tongue inside you. My God, he was good at this. It seemed as though he was everywhere at once, a climax slowly consuming you. Your lower stomach burned with need and you called out his name, so close to it. Then he pulled away completely. You looked down to see his that stupid smirk he always wore. He crawled up to kiss you, tasting yourself on his lips.

“It’s about time I make you as frustrated as you make me. You don’t come until I say so.”

“God, Peter, I swear- oh!” He curled his fingers inside you, stroking your g-spot with each pump. Just like before, you were at the edge only to be left there without release when he pulled away again. It took everything in you not to just finish yourself off, but you waited as best you could as you watched him remove his garments. You reveled in his incredible physique, his line of work keeping him in amazing shape.

Then he pounced on you, completely nude with a striking erection. His muscles were robust, his body hard against yours. He smelled of his masculine cologne and intoxicating musk that you could get used to. You waited for it, the sweetness you’d feel when he was finally giving it to you, but it never came. Instead, he littered your neck with kisses and bites which, while it was enjoyable, you wanted to cherry on top.

“Daddy, I want you to fuck me, please,” you whined. He grinned against you skin then moved to nibble on your ear.

“Are you gonna listen to me from now on? Be a good girl for me?” he bargained. When the words ‘good girl’ fell from his lips, your hunger only grew more insatiable. You’d never nodded harder in your life and as soon as you agreed, because you knew he wanted it too, he thrust into you. A loud moan was heard on your part and you were thankful everyone was gone or else they would’ve surely heard it.

His cock was thick and filled you perfectly. Peter started off slow, then picked up and an incredible pace. You were already so close, but you held out the best you could. His skin was dewy and you wanted to lick every inch of it.

“Daddy, please can I?” you breathed needily.

“Go ahead, babygirl.” In a matter of second, with the help of that little pet name, you were shouting his name to the rooftops as you finally got what you wanted. Heat flashes and stars consumed you as you exhaled, feeling all the tension wash away. Quill came too, a heavy grunt and a ‘fuck’ enacted from him.

He rolled down next to you, both of you sweaty and sticky but satisfied completely. About 2 minutes later, the same loud click from before was heard and you had just enough time to cover your exposed body before Rocket strolled in with a grossed out look on his face.

“So, I see you two… made up,” he hesitated. You couldn’t help laughing a little and Peter joined in. Rocket groaned and turned to leave. “You humans are so disgusting, I swear…”