in words

… And I learned that letting go isn’t always as hard as it’s made out to be. It’s just painful.
—  E. Grin
He calls you late at night, and you can’t help holding your breath, waiting for a drunk confession of love, because this must be the time that daydreams become reality.
His voice is barely an exhale, but you hear every syllable because that’s how you always listen to him: so very closely. “Can you come pick me up?” It’s slurred, though his voice is just a whisper.
He’s drunk, but he isn’t in love.
So you slip out of your house, and you start the car, easily agreeing because it’s him. It’s him and it’s him and it’s him, and that is any and every excuse you’ll ever need. Street lights pass in a blur as you get closer and closer to him, and you don’t know why it’s always like this—why does every road and every map lead to this boy?
You like to think that it’s fate.
Your road ends where it always begins, and you stop in front of a bright house in the dark night, and various bottles and different people are scattered across the lawn, and there he is, walking toward you, and he’s drunk and he’s exhausted and he looks like hell, but it’s him—it’s him and it’s him and it’s him. He gets into the car, and he slumps in the passenger seat, and you want to say something—you want him to say something—but silence swallows you whole as you start the car and pull away from the curb.
And you drive, and you drive, and you try to focus on the yellow lines in the center of the road rather than his ragged breathing or your erratic heartbeat, but the lines are blurred and your heart won’t still.
Finally, he mumbles something, and you wish that you didn’t hang on to every word he says. You wish that this wasn’t fate’s plan because this is not the ending you’d always dreamed of. You wish that you weren’t listening close enough to hear him say her name, to hear him mumble, “She’s beautiful, and I don’t fucking deserve her, but god, I wish I did.”
Because he’s drunk, and he’s in love. He’s just not in love with you.
—  H.L. // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #42

the “james is a sex god and lily is a blushing virgin” trope is so overused and listen if anything it’s reversed okay

lily had dated tons of guys and had hooked up with equally as many muggle guys over school breaks (its the 70s and she wants to and anyone who tries to shame her for it will be hexed into next month)

james had kissed one girl and it happened on his first hogsmeade trip. he was the first marauder to kiss someone and you can bet ur ass that he would always bring it up whenever someone (someone being sirius) would tease him for his lack of experience

when james and lily finally got together, lily was taken aback by how clumsy and overenthusiastic her boyfriend was (james’ bravado and confidence melted away when it came to evans okay this is canon) 

and it was during a rather steamy snogging session, lily suggested that they take it to the ~next level~ and james sort of pulled back and sheepishly admitted that he had never gone further than kissing (leaving out the fact the only other person he has kissed was a quick peck on the lips that lasted .002 seconds but lily didnt need to know that) 

and lily being lily was a little shocked bc this is james potter, quidditch golden boy extraordinaire but she also knew that all of that was just a facade and the person sitting next to her looked to her like she was the moon and the stars and laughed at every stupid joke his friends ever told and read complex transfiguration textbooks for fun and talked with his hands so exuberantly that he was constantly knocking shit over and she had never felt as enamored in her life 

and so she smiled and said that it was perfectly fine and of course they could go at whatever pace he was comfortable with and they had a lot of fun doing just that

[please do not repost this anywhere else! thank you!]

i came back to check on my tumblr after a while and i was honestly very surprised to find that i have over a hundred asks – not to mention that i had also received emails on my gmail account. every single message was a message of encouragement and kindness, and i was very surprised by the fact that so many people stood by me and my art ♥ your support is overwhelming and i would like to say that i appreciate it all so much!

ps: i have a small request – if you see the art in question on any facebook page, could you please kindly tell the admin to take it down? i would prefer that the artwork isn’t uploaded on facebook especially.

+story under the cut! ; right click and open the picture in a new tab for full-view

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excentricanthropologist  asked:

I've been following this blog for almost five years and I just wanted to say I'm so happy it's still around, thank you for doing the good work

i’m so glad you’ve stuck around omg :O

you’ve seen it all… the shaky beginnings…… the discourse…. the rise and fall…… thank u for ur loyalty