in which you learn very personal things about me

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you'll have an answer, but I thought I'd ask: I'm currently planning on binding my own book to remake my Book of Shadows, and I was wondering if you had advice on papers to use. I want it to have lots of pages, but printer paper just doesn't feel right - I want something of a heavier weight and a little coarser. Do you have any suggestions? (I love your blog, btw!!)

Ah, you must have seen that I do bookbinding, because you’ve come to the right place, my friend!

Printer paper is fine for most simple journals - it takes pencil writing well, and ink (read: dip pen ink, ballpoint ink) doesn’t usually bleed through it.

(Sharpie will bleed through it. Sharpie will bleed through anything, it feels like.)

But it’s usually very thin paper - 20-22lb is average, and it’s not very opaque. You can easily see through it to the page underneath, and it’s flimsy.

I like card stock - it fits well in your printer if you need it to, it’s thick and opaque and archival quality, and that makes me happy.

I’d go for 60lb thickness at least for bookbinding, but that’s at absolute minimum - personally, I’d go even thicker, in the 80lb-100lb+ range.

One thing about all of that though, is that it’s usually a very smooth texture, like most printer-suitable papers, so that the ink can print evenly. For a rough texture, you can look for handmade papers, artists’ papers, or even some scrapbooking papers that have a more natural texture. You could even learn to make paper yourself, which is very fun, but also time consuming.

Unfortunately, artists’ papers and the like can be…expensive. Really expensive. Like, $3> a sheet expensive, which in a 250+ page book, is not something I can personally afford to work with, so I’ll probably stick to card stock, haha.

Now, fun facts about paper grain:

When paper is made, the machinery makes the individual grains of the paper all align in a certain way. And because of this, it’s always best to fold paper parallel with the grain. That way, when the paper expands or contracts (based on the humidity, moisture, temperature, etc), it’ll do so in a way that won’t hurt your binding. This goes for simple booklets and stuff too.

Most papers should tell you which way the grain is aligned, but I’ve found out that unfortunately, most don’t seem to. Especially if they’re just plain copy or printer paper. In general, if a paper says it’s “short grain,” that means that the grain runs parallel with the shortest edge of the paper. Opposite if it’s “long grain.” And sometimes it’s indicated by an underlined number - “8.5 x 11″ with the 11 underlined means long-grain, “11 x 17″ with the 11 underlined would mean short grain. Make sense so far?

(Edit: tumblr removed my underlines somehow, so I changed my phrasing)

So if I were making a fairly large book out of 11″ x 17″ paper, and wanted to make signatures by folding those pieces in half, I’d want it to be short grain paper, so that my folds would be parallel with the grain.

If your paper doesn’t specify the grain, you can test to see which direction the grains run - most of the time with copy paper, it’s unfortunately long grain. But take a piece of it, and tear it in one direction, and then in the other. Whichever way tore smoother, is the way the grain runs.

However, I will be real here - paper that runs in the right grain direction for bookbinding is very hard to find, and it can also be expensive. You may be able to find larger paper than you need, and cut it down, but…really? If you don’t own a professional paper cutter, that’s a ton of work.

So, I’m going to say this, and it’s going to upset a lot of bookbinders, but in my personal opinion, it’s okay to use paper with grain going the wrong way.

Let me be clear; paper with the grain lined up properly is always going to be better. It’s always going to look and feel better when it’s bound, and it’s going to be more durable. Even the pages are going to turn more smoothly.

But there’s no shame in using copy paper and other typical long-grain paper, if you have to or want to. I’ve made plenty of journals and notebooks with paper grain going the wrong way, and if you’re careful to not use too much glue, and press the books tightly, you’ll probably be fine. There might be some buckling down the line, or a bit of curling, but sometimes that’s worth not spending hundreds of dollars on specialty paper, because the paper industry is weird.

Anyway, I hope some of that ^ ends up helping you with your project! I can get kinda passionate and rant-y about bookbinding, haha.

Goodbye Everyone! 💟

Hello Lovelies! I have sad news…


I’m sorry that I haven’t had the opportunity to come onto here in such a long time, as I have started work and had no time or energy to spare to tell you this:


Admin Erika has been kicked off of all of my blogs due to what she has done to myself and my family in real life. She had come up to move with us and frequently lied and other things so we kicked her out and we sent her back home. The one person that I always thought would be there for me, who wouldn’t lie to me or manipulate me, did and that was a very painful truth and lesson to both learn and face. She’s a coward and twisted, a very vile snake and that’s all that I will say about this.


The reason that I have decided to post the things she had wrote on this blog was so you all wouldn’t be let down, and some of her work was quite decent, which I told her myself.


I’m afraid that all of the posts before this are the ABSOLUTE LAST things that I will be writing and posting upon this blog. Why? I do not feel that Tumblr is the same place that it was the first day that I started up this blog about a year or so ago. The fandom’s are surely not the same and I have seen quite an increase of selfish desire in a lot of my reader’s and follower’s to have their thirst for fanfiction met more than the person behind it all’s, - creating it all’s-, need’s being met or mental, emotional, physical, etc. need’s being met. And you know what? I don’t need that in my life right now.


For a long time I haven’t had the thirst or the passion or the drive to keep up with the growing demand of writing fanfiction for you all because hardly anybody actually realizes that there’s a person beyond the keyboard or device that is being used, and I find that sad, as I have always thrived to treat those with respect and love, and always in the way in which that I would like to be treated, but that is not being returning to me on my blogs and I am tired of it. It seems that a lot of you just do not care about me as a person like you used to or whether you ever have, and you expect and expect and expect the world from me, but I cannot give you that.


Another reason as to why I am leaving this blog is due to the fact that my life is changing and so are priorities. I’m working now, I no longer feel that need for diving into fictional writing, because I’ve gotten to a stage in my life that I adore where I am, I love work and I love my life and family; I’m so much more confident, happy and appreciative in life and I truly mean that. I’ve also lost the drive to write or really think of fictional worlds because Admin Erika ruined that for me and she made very many things clear to me, and how I was before wasn’t healthy. She helped me to learn that I deserve better in this world, in this life and I need to start being myself, being true to who I am, instead of bending and pleasing everyone else. Because I can’t do that. I can only please myself and those who truly matter.


I grew up with an imaginative mind. I always wanted to be a writer. I grew up with thinking about fandom’s or thinking about my role models cheering me on every step of the way - even when I was going through the roughest moments or even the most thrilling of moments -; and I do not denote that in anyone else. Nor do I pity anyone for doing that, in fact, I cherish people whom look up to fictional character’s or whatever it may be, because let’s get real here: Fictional world’s are horrible. I mean that, most fictional worlds have trouble’s in them and character’s overcome phenomenal things and teach us strength and many other things.


I will always remember what these fictional characters have taught me in my life, but for now I need to put this all to rest because I’m growing up, new opportunities are presenting themselves to me in my life and there are many new people to meet and places to go to and all sorts of things that I have yet to discover. I made the step to close my laptop, step out of my door and out of my comfort zone and for that I am grateful for.


When I started this blog, I wasn’t in a very good place, mentally or emotionally or financially or anything, but I have overcome mountains through writing, through fictional world’s, through having the courage to evolve and grow as a person. And I am completely content with that.
I started this blog wanting to spread some love to fandom’s that hadn’t gotten much love, and had the courage to start up two other blogs too; @lostinnarutoscenarios @thekeytoerebor. And I will always remember how it really did start: Through Twilight and The Little Vampire, etc. But the one that really made me strong was The Outsiders. I remember coming into class in grade 7, I was twelve years old and my teacher told us about a new book we’d be reading in class, and through that I met a wonderful gang of boys who all helped me to become who I am today, and everyday I preach the lessons that those boys and S.E Hinton have taught me. I found my passion through written through that novel, movie, TV series and I am forever grateful for The Outsiders coming into my life and blessing it with such knowledge, wisdom, comfort and the Universe only knows what more!


This is heart wrenching for me because my family and true friends know how much I love writing, but my passion isn’t there for fanfiction any more. I am not sorry to say goodbye to all the wonderful people I have met upon all three of my blogs, because I have loved each and very one of you who have supported me, hearted my posts, reblogged my posts, shouted my stuff out or my blog out, given me such beautiful messages when I was having so much hate and hurt coming through my inbox or in my real physical life. You have helped me have so much confidence within myself and I love all of you to the moon and back (and I only ever say such things when I truly mean it).


Now is the time for me to turn over another page in my life, end a chapter, but also to end this book of my life, and to open a new one. Now is the time for me to open that brand new front cover with passion, hunger, confidence, love, happiness, and so much more, and read that first word, that first sentence, that first paragraph and page and persevere and carry on.


This isn’t goodbye forever - or maybe it may be-, you never know, one day I may have that passion and thirst back for writing, for fanfiction, for goodness knows what else that has to do with writing, and I may come back and spread what I have learnt. So I will definitely say goodbye and farewell for now, my lovelies, my sunshine’s my sweetheart’s, my sweetie’s, my follower’s and my supporter’s.


I wish nothing but the best for all of you, and I hope you find yourselves and what you would like to do in life. Never mind what other’s say, okay? Your dreams are valid and they are true, and you CAN accomplish anything as long as you believe in yourself. Opportunities come in many shapes and forms, as do blessings and I hope many miracles and blessings come into your lives. Thank you for ALWAYS blessing my life - to those who have on here - with such love and support, I truly respect, admire and love you all!


Remember to always be open and try something new. Take that first step. That first step may not always be as you expected or the happy break you were looking for, but persevere like all of our fictional character’s and inspirations, role models, etc. have taught us to do. Do not be afraid of change, but embrace it with grace, love and gratitude, because as one door closes, another door opens. As one page turns, another one begins. As one book ends, another one begins. As one thing begins, another one ends. Life continues on.

Never be afraid to try something out of your comfort zone, explore and create your life the way you would like it to be, because it takes courage to form your life with your interests. And NEVER EVER let ANYONE tell you that your dreams and goals, your aspirations, etc. are impossible, because they aren’t. I believe everyone has a purpose - and I don’t give a single damn if you give me hate for it - and I believe that we are all here for a reason. As long as you have courage, be kind, are accepting of other’s and receptive and just spread love and light, good will always come your way.


Remember, your thoughts create your reality and it is always daunting to begin that first step to achieve your dreams, etc. but all of those great people out there who have accomplished their dreams or are on the road to finding out or realizing their dreams have always carried on or overcome so much. Your life is amazing, no matter what you go through and never let anyone tell you that your views, opinions, beliefs, race, where you come from, your background, your life experience, etc. is worthless, dis-countable, appropriate to be undermined or stepped on, etc. because they are wrong. As long as you come from a place of love and goodness, you, your beliefs, etc. are valid and important and should be appreciated, accepted and so much more.


Accept all areas of yourself, explore your gifts, natural talents, or even begin things that you never thought you’d be good at, okay? Because you’d honestly surprise yourself. I’ve learnt that I am a creative, honest, loving, amazing person who has so much passion and good to share with this world. I have learnt that I am amazing at art, dancing, counselling and helping other’s, hair & beauty, fashion, interior decorating, scrap booking, shining some light in other people’s day, being a phenomenal friend and so much more, right? And you know what? I’m going to explore and stay open and not turn down these new opportunities, etc. that comes into my life because every day is a new day and life is what you make it and I’m choosing to make my life great.


I’m wishing you all a lot of love and blessing’s, peace and goodness in all forms and ways because I love each and every one of you wholly and fully. Visit my blogs at ANY time you’d like, read my imagines, look at my posts, etc. and I hope I’ve given and continue to give you inspiration, hope, admiration, light in your life and so much more. I hope I’ve been and continue to be a positive influence upon you all.


I love you all! Peace and love, lovelies. This is goodbye for now. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍- Admin Kat 💟


P.S. Please look at this blog and give this blog a shout out! https://attackontitan-girl-imagines.tumblr.com/ This is going to be the last time that I shout out someone on this blog or anything, but I’m glad to help someone! ❤

Farewell, Sunshines! ❤

6

Originally posted by lady--koto

(Day 21)

I’m sure pretty much everyone here is familiar with Full Metal Alchemist and by extension Hiromu Arakawa. Both the artist and writer behind one of the best shonen anime/manga out there she’s quite famous. There is a reason she draws herself as a cow every time she writes about herself in the omake of the manga she creates. She grew up a farm girl, raising animals in the sticks with her family. 

Enter a recent work of hers Gin no Saji, or silver spoon. Specifically the anime adaption. 

Because of Arakawa’s intimate knowledge of botanical and animal husbandry pursuits you get an actually really accurate and interesting learning experience about farming as a whole. It’s also a huge plus that it’s wrapped up in all of the thing she does well such as her excellent characterization and comedic writing. 

The anime is a fine adaption of the manga with very good voice work and OST, especially the OPs and EDs which are total ear worms. Sukima Switch and Goose House became known to me through this anime and I love both bands now!  

We follow a do-nothing boy as he grows as a person and meets a lot of interesting characters in an agricultural college. This series is much lighter in tone than FMA in that there’s no heart rending murder of the cast to think about. But, it isn’t afraid to touch on a few close topics such as the struggle of the agricultural machine, the pressure to take on your parents work and a bit of heavy mortality. The meat you put on the table has to come from somewhere, even if that somewhere is pretty damn cute when you raise it yourself. Even if, especially if, you know nothing about animals or farming I really suggest this series because it is very down to earth (haha). You feel a sense of pride in the same vein of watching shows like “how it’s made” when the final product that looks to be simple takes a surprising amount of manpower to make. Also the anime pays special attention to making the food look delicious!

Sometimes just being a solid adaption of a very solid manga is enough to get you on a list of personal favorites. 

anonymous asked:

Hello there. I was wondering: what are the best books to read about Oscar, to learn about him; especially to learn fun facts about him and his personality? I also know some bios have some factually inaccurate things, how do I avoid falling for bullshit in any books I may read? Thank you :) - A fellow Oscar devotee

Thanks for asking me this! My very favourite is Thomas Wright´s Oscar´s Books - A Journey around the Library of Oscar Wilde which tells the story of Oscar´s life parallell with an inventory of his library and other books one might assume he read during that time in his life and it is such an interesting read! Neil McKenna´s The Secret Life of Oscar Wilde is silly at times and a lot is exaggerated but it´s also absolutely worth reading as it focuses on Oscar´s role as a gay icon. Then I´d say of course you should read the letter Oscar himself written and the transcript of his trials since those are primary sources and much more reliable. In general I´d say the more you read the more you can be sure what is bullshit and what is true but keep an eye out for language that seems subjective - biographies will often get judgemental about Oscar´s relations with men or how confident he was like a general attitude of “he should have known better than to flaunt his gayness in the face of people of course they put him in prison”. Obviously you can come to me if you have any questions as well and we can try to work them out together because like I´m not claiming I know everything about Oscar but I do know a bit. 

Cute Demon Crashers

I told myself that I wasn’t going to write reviews for games that I’ve played. But I just couldn’t not express how much Cute Demon Crashers means to me after my first, second, third, and subsequent playthroughs.

Cute Demon Crashers is an 18+ otome game created by sugarscript that stresses consent, communication, and trust.

The MC (Claire is the default name) is a college freshman spending spring break alone at home. Claire is sexually (and possibly socially) frustrated, which attracts a group of sex demons, three incubi and a succubus, who want to help alleviate some of that frustration.

In order left to right: Mirari is the bubbly succubus and the start of all the shenanigans. Akki, who is the youngest incubus, is extremely energetic, friendly, and very good-natured (they all are very good-natured). Kael, who takes on a more caretaker-like role with the other three, is extremely kind and caring, calm, and a bit of a clean freak. Orias is very reserved and quiet, but has some very sweet moments. 

Claire gets two days to decide who (if any) she wants to have sex with. Each of the demons has cute bonding scenes for each of the time intervals, which are basically day 1 morning and afternoon and day 2 morning. The interactions between the characters are genuine and wonderful. There’s more than a little encouragement to just be yourself. All of the demons are very honest with Claire and extremely endearing. 

Each of the four characters has a beautifully written, unique intimate scene. Before each new action, the demon asks Claire if she wants to keep going (or some variation). And there is even a little “STOP” button in the top right corner that can be pressed at pretty much any time during the intimate scenes. And the weirdest thing happens: THE DEMON STOPS! Not only that, but the chosen demon assures Claire that he or she isn’t disappointed and makes sure that Claire is okay.

I love this game. I love how much I learned from this game about what I deserve in a sexual experience. And I think that everyone over 18 should play through it at least once. You will love the characters. All five of them. You will love the interactions, the story, and the art. And you will learn something about the respect that you should have for yourself and your partner every single time you have sex.

Play this game. (Only if you’re 18 or older, of course)

Full review under the cut because I got extremely emotional over this game for personal reasons and not everyone wants to read that.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I just found out that I am INFJ-T. What does that mean?

Hello, my fellow INFJ! Sorry it’s taken me so long. I’m still learning about mbti, so I wasn’t sure I could answer very well. 

INFJ is a personality type (which I suppose you know). INFJ’s are very rare, making up only about %1 of the population. Infj’s find it pretty easy to make connections with people, so people tend to think we’re introverts. But we most definitely are not. We need a lot of time to recharge (my ESFP sister says that I need a year alone in my room for every week I’m around people).  Infj’s tend to be excellent listeners, and tend to get a little frustrated when people don’t extend us the same courtesy (at least I do). There’s a lot more to our personality, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. You can look on pinterest and stuff to learn more, Hope this helps!

Admin Kate (resident INFJ)

spaceoldshit  asked:

Hi yogi! I know you started this path for quite a few years now. Based on the wisdom you're sharing, I believe you have learned/realized a lot. Sometimes it seems like you have already known everything. However, I know you're going to refute that. I'm curious about your personal path. What have you learned this year so far? :)

The only thing that makes me “different” is that I meditate and practice mindfulness/self-inquiry, which anyone can do. Other than that I’m just a 28-year-old dude in med school.

In all other pursuits, knowledge is gained in proportion to the things you learn. In spirituality, however, knowledge shines as your very existence in proportion to the illusions you surrender. It is not a path of adding or becoming but of shedding what is false or unreal. 

Here’s a brief overview of my personal path:

I was always into the supernatural and the occult. Then my father died before I graduated high school. It made me start questioning things.

2007 - Freshman year of college. I started meditation practice and I read Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda. 

2008 - Summer after my freshman year, I was working in NYC. I went to events held by various gurus and learned what they had to teach. I experimented with different things as I returned to my sophomore year in college.

2009 - I started to realize that one particular guru had a really transformative effect on me: Sri ShivaRudra Balayogi. His scene was free of charge and to the point. And he made himself available via email. 

2010 - All my friends went to Cancun for spring break. I went to Dehradun, India, to go on retreat at my guru’s ashram. Life changing. But mostly it made me realize I didn’t need to go to India in order to meditate. I started this blog the fall of my senior year. 

2011 - In the spring, I graduated from college and then things got real. Lots of suffering. No job, living at home, broke up with long time girlfriend. I turned to my path for healing. 

The following several years I spent bouncing around, seeking aimlessly, going on some wonderful adventures with friends but also having many “WTF am I doing with my life?!” moments. 

2013 - Spring I decide to pursue becoming a doctor. I am accepted to attend a post-bac premed program at Columbia that fall. 

2014 - Spring, I go on an amazing retreat in California. My path is really ramping up as I discover Advaita, Ramana Maharshi, and Self-Inquiry. However, that summer I am stricken by an illness that still hasn’t been properly diagnosed. Chronic back pain and muscle spasms in my extremities. Sciatica as well. 

As a result, I couldn’t find a way to sit for meditation. I lost all connection with my path for the subsequent year. It was hell.

2015 - I finish my postbac program and begin to heal as I have time for self-care. I met my current girlfriend in the autumn. 

2016 - In the spring, I am accepted to attend medical school. I began in the autumn. 

I know all of this was more than you had asked but I felt it necessary for context. It has been a lot of ups and downs. 

Now that I am in medical school, I have found a proper balance between self-care and work. My spiritual practice has also found its place. I practice three aspects: Meditation, Self-Inquiry/Mindfulness, and Bhakti (Devotion). Devotion is an art, Self-Inquiry is a science, and Meditation is indescribable. 

The most recent thing I have come to focus on is that Enlightenment or Self-Realization has nothing to do with this world or my personal story. So much of what you see in spiritual circles is about diet, vibrations/emotions, esoteric philosophies, and lifestyle. I dig those things but they do not confine the spiritual path. Nor are they even necessary. At best they are props to guide us, at worst they are utter distractions. 

Enlightenment cannot be marketed or placed within a consumerist context. It just wont work. The only place you will find it is in your daily spiritual practice and your continual questioning of life/consciousness. 

So it goes. 

It has been a magnificent privilege and joy to share this space with every one of you. It has made me realize how wonderful and relatable humanity truly is. Thank you, all of you. 

Namaste :) Thanks for this question–it was a lovely opportunity to reflect. 

general social etiquette for making plans (mostly applies to one-on-one plans):

if you do want to go but can’t make it at that date/time: suggest a new date/time. this is your job now, as the person who can’t make the initial suggestion! just saying ‘nope i’m busy at that time’ puts all the scheduling burden on the asker, and making plans is a two-way street. (it’s such a nightmare to continue suggesting dates and to continue hearing ‘i have plans then, when else can we do it’!!!)

if you don’t want to go: say ‘thanks for the invite, but i’m not really into [alligator wrestling/competitive embroidery/guy fieri lookalike contests]. thanks for thinking of me though!’ ambiguity is no fun, make it totally clear that you are not down. this has the added benefit that, in the future when you do accept an invite, the asker knows you’re totally into it!!!! (begging off in other ways [like having ambiguous fictional ‘other plans’] can lead to the asker suggesting multiple other dates/times, which can frustrate them and make you anxious)

if you are the person inviting someone to a thing: be explicit about the date and time, or range of dates and times. ‘let’s do this someday’ is unhelpful and frustrating!! at the very least, try to narrow it down a little (like, ‘what saturday in the next month works for you’)

anonymous asked:

You probably get this a lot, but I love your comics about your ex-bf tales. Actually, I was in a very similar relationship and I was thinking a lot of the shit he put me thru was normal?? But your comic inspired me so much I finally got the courage to break up with him! Idk man, I love your art so much and it brought be so much hope and made me smile. Keep doing you! I truly wish you the best<3

WONDERFUL NEWS!! I’m so proud right now. I feel like a messiah spreading the good word… BREAK UP WITH YOUR DUMPSTER TRUCK BF, YOU WILL ACTUALLY FIND LOVE THAT IS PRODUCTIVE AND KIND! YES, YOU!


But being single is great?? I don’t feel like we emphasize that a lot. Not to say being in a relationship isn’t great but, being in one JUST to be in one is, well, a nightmare. You just get to learn so much about yourself being single… And you get to dictate what your worth is, it’s not tied to some other person who may or may not be spiteful. (it shouldn’t either way but yeah!)

I generally like to just do things alone though. Ever since I biked for enough years to buy a score old car, (which if u read my comics made me a very lazy girl and quite a burden cuz my parents didn’t just give me 3 cars in a row, lol) I really enjoy just being able to leave. Leave in the middle of a party. Go see a movie and it sucks, I just go and buy a donut somewhere. I get up out of my bed at 3am and just drive to a parking lot and sit there and fiddle with the am radio. Ahh! Freedom! Who’s to stop me? Enjoy the beginning of your journey, anon-friend.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I love your blog(a lot) and am hoping you can help me. I have a crush on an ENTJ I met a while ago; my 1st crush ever and I don't like it. I get that emotions aren't logical, but this just seems beyond all reason. This person won't leave my head and I barely even know them. I can't even speak to them without stuttering or blanking like a fool. I'm sure I made a bad 1st and 2nd and maybe 3rd impression. How do I make this crush go away? Can I? Or am I doomed? Please help -A very confused INTP

How to Handle a Crush, Rationally

Attraction can be irrational, but the way you deal with it doesn’t have to be.

Most people focus entirely on themselves when they have a crush. They’d think: does this person like me? Am I coming off alright? Am I saying the right things? etc. which doesn’t help the situation, and doesn’t make them like you any better.

Don’t treat them as a “crush”, think of them as an “intrigue”. As in, I’m intrigued by this person, and I want to learn more about them. Instead of treating them like an idol, you treat them like a puzzle to be figured out.

Think about this: this person that you have a crush on, would you still like them if you find out that they secretly enjoy kicking stray dogs? What if they are verbally abusive only to people they’re in a relationship with? What if they’re hell bent on moving to Bali, and you don’t ever want to go there?

That’s why you must talk to them to find out if they’re ACTUALLY COMPATIBLE WITH YOU!

Find out:

  • What are their values, and are those compatible with yours?
  • What do they think is important in a relationship? What are they looking for right now?
  • How do they handle conflicts?
  • What are their life goals? Where do they see themselves in the future?
  • How do they treat other people around them?
  • How do they make important decisions? And can you respect the way they come to those decisions?

If you spend enough time with them to figure these out, you’ll know exactly what to do - to stick around, or move on.

Relationships don’t have to be illogical at all. My current relationship definitely makes sense, and that’s why it works. It makes sense that we’re together because we’re compatible in all important aspects. And you’d only know whether yours makes sense if you figure it out.

-eilamona

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Somehow, it’s strange. Just before writing「DECADANCE - Counting Goats…if I can’t be yours -」, I went to a psychiatry. I did not want to be a bother for the band, and though it was me who formed the band, there are other members with their lifes as well, that’s why I couldn’t let myself fall apart. I learned about my illness, which is being called “Borderline Personality Disorder”. But even if you worry, there’s no helping it. I can’t handle company very well, so the only thing that can make me happy is being on stage, making music. The part with “Suicidal Intention” during the A-Melo means, “I want to die right now”. And even though I see no meaning in life at all, being on stage makes me extremely happy. Not only「DECADANCE - Counting Goats…if I can’t be yours -」, but also「Sou to Utsu to Kyoukai」(Mania and Depression and Boundary) tells about this “Borderline Personality Disorder”, but actually, when I first heared about my illness, I couldn’t believe it. But alot of doctors confirmed it… Then I thought to myself, that everyone is suffering in various ways, so even though I have this illness, “Whatever!”. I think that with both 「DECADANCE - Counting Goats…if I can’t be yours -」and「Sou to Utsu to Kyoukai」, I expose a huge part of myself.
— 
Tsuzuku, Vocalist of Mejibray. Taken from here:
Matthew Daddario for August Man Malaysia

I like it when the foibles of fame haven’t tainted the sheer exuberance of being a performance artist. The old guard incessantly rant about young actors rarely toiling to improve their craft. Hollywood’s newbies are instead focused on red carpet photography and sparking stupid Twitter feuds. Then again film directors and financiers should share the blame. It’s not uncommon for actors/actresses to be picked based on how numerous their slavish social media followings are. A big fan base means that the studios have an extra base to market their films. Even Calvin Klein sounded a similar lament when Kendall Jenner became the new face of the brand that bears his own name.

I’m not saying Matthew Daddario is cut from a better cloth. Or that he eagerly watches from the wings for veteran nuance and timbre to add to his repertoire. But he does cite some very comforting classics as inspiration, as you’ll read further down. More importantly, you can feel his excitement bouncing off the page, as he answers our little Q&A with heart and head. A colleague of Harry Shum Jr, who’s also burning up the set of Shadowhunters, he’s a rare find in that he’s talented, honest and properly grounded in who he is and where he’s from. Because as everyone who’s enjoyed the limelight knows, nobody bathes in that beam forever. We reckon his star is on the rise though, and if you’ll allow August Man a little self-indulgent boasting, we’ve got an eye for picking the ones who can go the distance. Gentlemen, please welcome the tall, dark, and affable, Matt Daddario.

Wikipedia says you studied business, whose idea was that?

It never occurred to me to not go to college. At 17/18 years old, I needed to make a decision about what to study. I kind of thought that I wanted to be a doctor, but I think I was eventually scared off once I realised how long the process is before you actually achieve “doctor” status. After some consideration, I applied to the cheapest top-10 business school with the shortest application process, Indiana University, as it fit all the criteria I arbitrarily (or maybe not truly arbitrarily) applied for my college search. I think it ended up being the only school I applied to. Honestly, I was young… I may have been winging it a little. It sounds cliché, but at any top-100 (200, 300 maybe) university, you get out of it what you put into it.

It also says your dad was former boss of counter-terrorism under Mayor Bloomberg. Do you feel the adage “like father, like son” applies in any capacity, or none at all?

Well, if you mean that I have been fighting terrorism my whole life, 
then yes. But I operate under a less fancy title. I’m more of a vigilante. I’m kidding of course. I lack the focus, dedication and incorruptibility 
of my father.

What were your favourite movies and TV shows growing up?

I have memories of watching Seinfeld in my parents’ room as a kid. I enjoyed that, but you know what’s weird? I really don’t remember. I always have trouble with the concept of “favourites”. Lots of things have merits and appeal to me. Thinking of Seinfeld, I gotta say Curb Your Enthusiasm might qualify as a favourite. And now I am thinking of Veep. I love Veep too.

What are some of the lessons from your mentors that have stayed with you even till now?

The funny thing about lessons in general is I feel people don’t really learn them when they are told. Rather, something has to happen to them and then they say, “oh man, Mr/Ms Doe told me to expect this, they were right. I will expect this in the future”. Does that make sense?

From movies to TV, what was your actor’s process? And do you have a ritual that always helps you get into character?

Staying calm and focused prior to scenes. Make sure I know where my character is at mentally, and that I get there. Never being tired unless it will somehow (very rare) help the scene.

Perfectionist (being your own worst critic) vs High Achiever (not worried about the details, only that you did your best). Which best describes your work ethic?

Perfection is a silly concept, because it only exists when there is a distinct set of criteria to be filled. Things are rarely like that. “I’m the perfect doctor!” What does that mean? I cure every man? I always make my patients comfortable? I have never made a misdiagnosis? See, what are the criteria? So, high achiever is more realistic. But again, achievement is relative. I could be the best at something in one sample of people, but in another and I could be a complete moron. Ideally, my work ethic would be defined by resetting the bar whenever I meet someone better than me at something, and then working to be better than them.

No one wants to be typecast, but what kind of roles best suit your personality/style?

Superhero, space explorer, secret agent. Obviously.

Tell me a little about the Shadowhunters experience, what were your first expectations, and how that’s evolved over the season.

At first I had no idea what to expect. Things got crazy very quickly, however, and eventually I just learned not to expect anything. The scripts were always changing and we were always working with each other to make everything coherent. It was a very organic first season, which I am very, very thankful for. A lot of learning is done when you are constantly adapting.

Do you do your own stunts?

You know when you are moving, and you have all these boxes and all this heavy stuff you need to get out of your house? So you say, “I’ll just carry this all to a truck I rented and cart it up flights of stairs! I am capable of that because I am strong and young!” So you do half of it and then you realise, holy cr*p, moving this armoire will result in my death. That’s when you put your ego aside and bring in a professional to do it for you. So, same idea as moving, except sometimes 
you are throwing yourself off high things or getting smashed in the face with a rock.

How would your best friend describe you?

Man, it depends on the best friend. 
I have a few equally best friends. 
I’m going to text three of them to 
find out. EDIT: I texted, “Hey, how would you describe me?” and I have 
received various insults so far. 
It’s a bloodbath, actually.

You’re on one of those ‘70s dating shows. Describe your looks to a person you’re looking to impress from behind a screen.

I’d have to describe something really, really strange to make them feel like they just HAD to see what I look like. “Due to an odd birth defect, my eyes are bright purple.” I mean, I’d pick that person because I’d just NEED to see that. There are plenty of places to meet people, but you only meet one purple-eyed person.

You’ve been given a chance to turn back time, what age would you go back to, and what would you do differently?

Besides all the obvious investment-related answers to this question… I don’t think I would change anything. I don’t want to take a risk with that. I like my life, for the most part. I’m healthy. I’d probably go back and focus more on learning another language or learning the piano. But maybe then I’d be a depressed pianist? Don’t get me started on this question.

What’s your life’s greatest inspiration?

I read Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman when I was a kid, and a few times since. The way Richard Feynman views the world, and what he did with his vast intelligence and creativity in the time he had is really something. It gives a certain perspective. Curiosity and investigation are the things that make life interesting.

On a scale of one to 10, how lucky are you 
in life?

It varies depending on what discrete time we are looking at. Also, 
like many things, it’s relative. I’m 
sure someone could do the maths 
and determine exactly how lucky I am in comparison to increasingly large samples of the world’s population.

What kind of film would you write/direct?

I have written a number of scripts. Some are absurd. Some are more serious. Some I’m very proud of. 
I hope to see some of them made. That’s an ambiguous answer. I like stories where a man, whose life is 
in some form of shambles, is then thrust into a completely different world where he is forced to adapt 
and change to succeed or survive. 
It’s often funny, and it allows for farcical moments as well as emotionally affected moments.

Tell me something bad about you.

I will eat anywhere in the house. I’ll eat cheese crackers in bed.

What kind of car do you drive ?

I don’t have a car. I rent cars a lot and have, as a result, developed a pretty strong understanding of what brands I like, what styles, features, qualities I like, etc. Maybe someone will show me something that makes me say, “THIS is the car I want for sure” but that hasn’t happened yet.

What’s your most competitive sport?

Oh man, basketball. Baseball. Tennis. Football. I just really like playing sport. The worst part about getting old is that it is increasingly difficult to get a group together to play organised sport. Actually, for the past few years I’ve played football on Sundays with a group of guys and it’s really, really fun. It started pretty laid back, but it has become increasingly intense. Actually, it’s become a bit dangerous. We’ve gotten really serious about it and now there are injuries quite often. Like, every week. Hmmm.

So today I fucked up.... by becoming part of a fandom.


When Undertale came out, it was a really big hype and I remember thinking “I am making the conscious decision to stay away from that fandom because I’m already in too many fandoms and I don’t want to lose one more piece of my soul to another soul killing fandom.”

I remember making that conscious decision. I remember saying no. I will not have anything to do with that fandom.

 And then time passed on and I saw some undertale stuff on tumblr here and there. I knew very little about it which I was happy about. It was good. Knowing as little as possible. It prevented me from getting sucked in. I only knew that there was a tall skeleton who loved pasta and a short skeleton who wanted to know if you were having a bad time and thats ALL I knew. It was fine. 

Then some more time passed by and I saw some more things and I learned some new facts. The skeletons had a name now. Then they had a personality. Then they were part of a relationship. Then some fabulous robot came into the picture. Then a fish pirate. And then like, some sort of happy flower, and then more and more and more things came into the picture until finally, I asked… “What is Undertale about?”

That fucking question.

I wish I never asked that question.

I looked it up. I read some things. Saw some fanart and then, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I played the game.

Well I mean, I didn’t really play it myself because I’m fucking broke, but I did the next best thing. I watched other people play it. Like, youtubers and my friends on skype. I went through the stories. All the mother fucking stories. And now… 

Here I am…. 

In the beginning, I never would have know what the fuck a “genocide run” or a “pacifist run” was. I never would have gotten riled up over the word “Temmie”. I never would have started losing it over a fucking PINK SPARKLY ROBOT. But now I do. Because now, I’m part of a 

LITERAL SOUL KILLING FANDOM