in which you learn very personal things about me

6

06/04/17 • Dead beauty

Don’t accept flowers from people you’re not certain of having a future with. You will end up pinned down by the memories of a possibility that never was. You will be haunted by the beauty of the flowers pressed between thick books, as if hiding from the reality of a past you cannot even face ahead.

Don’t accept flowers from people you’re not capable of enduring for a lifetime.

To the boy whom I wrote this for, I hope you don’t read this. I do not want to let you know that I held such thoughts about you. You were definitely good, but being good will never be enough for a person who does not want to accept flowers anymore. I hope you get to love yourself, and get yourself a better person than I was.

I was looking for some journals—which are in the photos—in my bookshelf and then I remembered having pressed flowers between the pages of my Merriam-Webster dictionary. The words above are true for me and I was looking for a healthy way to post this and tell people what I have recently learned, without letting the giver know about my thoughts—he deserves better than this.

Anyway, can we now focus on the blank journals I found? They’re very pretty and I can’t wait to write beautiful things on them.✨

“The Lyrics to my Music” - Chapter 1

Pairing: Suga x Reader

Tags: Fluff, Slight smut and angst in future chapters.

Summary: One day you lose your notebook, the most important item you own, it’s filled with exactly 68 lyrics that you wrote, all of them extremely personal to you. Later that same day you discover an iPod filled with different songs with no lyrics. By some strange coincidence that iPod belongs to the same person who discovered your notebook of lyrics. This would cause the two of you to meet and form a friendship. Or maybe even something more…

Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1

A/N: I’m sorry I took forever to write this, but I promise that you wouldn’t have to wait as long for chapter 2. I hope you enjoy and as always feedback would be very appreciated.


Originally posted by loveblushes

[Y/N] POV

 One meeting. It was only supposed to be one meeting. A few hours in which I could explain the meanings to my lyrics to this stranger as a sign of gratitude for finding my notebook. But before I knew it we were talking and texting every day, and slowly, but surely the stranger was becoming my best friend.

 It all started the weekend after I lost my notebook and he found it. We decided to meet in a café that was very close to the park and that it turns out we both visited quite often. That morning as I was driving to the café I kept asking myself whether it was really a good idea to meet this guy that I don’t know at all, just so we can talk about some lyrics that I wrote. The whole situation sounded so ridiculous, but already made a promise, and I had to go and pick up my notebook anyways, so I had no other choice.

 The café was almost completely empty when I arrived there except for a young couple, a family with a small child and a guy who looked about my age who was sitting by himself looking down at his phone.

 Is this him?, I thought. It must be him. He’s the only person sitting by himself.

 I sat down on the chair across from him.

 “Umm…Are you Yoongi?” I asked.

 He looked up from his phone and gave me a small, polite smile. “Yes, that’s me. You must be the owner of the journal.”

 “Yeah,” I said returning his smile. “My name is [Y/N] by the way.”

 “Nice to meet you, [Y/N]!” He said digging through his backpack and pulling out my notebook.

 He passed it to me. “Here’s your notebook. I didn’t know who it belonged to at first, so I wrote some notes in it with a pen…I’m sorry…”

 I took my notebook and looked at him, confused. “What “notes”?”

 “Remember when I told you that I wanted to ask you a few questions about your lyrics? Well…I tried to analyze them by myself and understand what they are about, but I needed to write all my thoughts down…”

 Yoongi took the notebook and put it between the two of us, opening it to one of my poems.

 “See?” he pointed to a few notes that he had taken, written in a quick, careless handwriting, “I tried to write as small as I could so I don’t cover any of your writing…”

 I looked down and tried to read the notes. There were so many of them. Some of them were just small words written at the corners of pages. Others seemed to be whole paragraphs analyzing certain lines. He had also circled and highlighted a bunch of stuff, making the page look like a colorful explosion of words.

 I looked up at Yoongi who was waiting for my reaction, quietly.

 “I-I…” I didn’t know what to say. I was supposed to be angry at this guy that I don’t know for writing all over my lyrics. But looking at the notes I could see how carefully he wrote them, as if my poems, my words themselves, were breakable. And this made me feel most of all…curiosity. Why was he so interested in my work? Why was he so impressed by it that he wanted to meet me in person just so we can talk about it? It didn’t make sense to me. But at that exact moment, for some reason I thought of the iPod. The small device that I found at work a few days ago, and the thing that intrigued me so much. Ever since I found it, I’ve been listening to the songs in it every day, because for some reason they made me feel…comfortable and safe. It was a strange feeling of comfort that I haven’t felt in awhile, and I loved it.

 So I thought I about the iPod for a moment. If I knew who the owner of the iPod was, would I do the same thing, Yoongi did? Would I want to meet the owner as much as he wanted to meet me? Yes. Yes, I would.

 The boy across from me started talking again pulling me out of my thoughts.

 “I understand if you’re mad…Or just weirded out by me…” he said.

 I shook my head. “No…no I’m not. I’m just surprised that you’re so interested in my lyrics because to me they are like my journal and nothing more.”

 “Well…the thing is, that I’m a songwriter too. I’ve written a lot of songs, but these days I’ve been struggling a lot with coming up with lyrics. There are just certain things that I can’t express with words, so I write music for them instead. But after finding your journal and reading some of your lyrics I was extremely inspired by them.”

I smiled. “You were inspired by my lyrics?”

 “Yes!” He replied, “I’m completely serious!”

 I looked at him and raised an eyebrow, “So what do you want to know about them? I’ll tell you whatever you want about my songs on one condition.”

 He nodded quickly, “What is it?”

 “Most of those songs have a very personal and deep meaning to me, which means that when I tell you what they are about you would know a lot of things about me. So to make it less awkward, I want you to tell me one thing about yourself after every song we talk about.” I paused. “Also, if it’s not too much to ask can you give me some tips on writing music, because I’m not very good at it…”

 I was surprised by my own request. Usually, I wouldn’t ask anyone for help, especially with my songs. But I wanted to learn, I really did. And at that moment it seemed like the universe gave me the perfect opportunity and the perfect person for me to learn.

 He grinned happily - an expression that seemed extremely out of place on his previously calm and seemingly tired face.

 “Okay! I’ll do it!” he said and I smiled back at him.

 “Okay then, shall we start?”

 He nodded and opened the notebook to the very first page. My very first song, which was more of a poem than an actual song. It wasn’t structured properly. It was weird and kind of all over the place. But it meant a lot to me, just like all the rest of my songs.

 “I wrote this a few years ago,” I started, “It’s pretty bad, but it means a lot to me. The poem started out as a school assignment and…” I kept going, telling him the story about how my first poem became a thing. And he listened, occasionally pointing out a line that he liked or a metaphor that he didn’t understand.

 I guess that was one of the reasons we became friends - because he listened. He listened to all my stories and complaints, and all the extra things that I knew he didn’t really care about, but he still listened, and that meant a lot to me.

 After 3 hours of me talking and him listening, I told him everything about my first three songs. And he told me some things about himself too, he told me about his family and his friends about what he liked to do and what he didn’t.

 As we were talking I felt a closeness to Yoongi that I found extremely strange. I found it strange because I just met him. And I found it strange because I usually don’t feel that close to people unless I’ve known them for a very long time.

 After we were done talking I said goodbye to Yoongi and turned around to leave but he stopped me.

 “Umm…[Y/N]? Can we meet again, soon?”

 I smiled at him and nodded.

 And we did meet again. We met almost every day for the next month. Whether it was at the café, at the park or at the Italian restaurant that worked at. Sometimes we talked about my songs or his songs (that I haven’t heard yet), but others we just talked about our lives, TV shows that we like or just….anything.

And that’s how we got where we are today, the guy who used to be a complete stranger became my best friend. We were sitting on my living room couch, my notebook laying open in between is as we read and re-read old songs jotting down notes next to about how I can improve them, while at the same time having a conversation about completely random things.

 “So how come I’ve never been to your house before?” I asked.

 He shook his head, “You don’t want to go there, trust me. I live with six other boys and all of them are extremely loud and obnoxious.”

 I stopped and looked at him. “But they’re your friends. I want to meet them!”

 He sighed, “Someday….”

 I rolled my eyes at him and looked at the clock. It was 7:30 PM.

 “Oh, shit! I’m gonna be late!” I jumped off the couch.

 Yoongi looked at me, confused. “Late to what?”

 “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I’m going on a date tonight.” I answered.

 “What? But you’re not dating anyone?”

 I rolled my eyes at him again before answering, “That’s why I’m GOING on a date.”

 “But…Do you have to?”

“Yes! I have to, unless I want to stay lonely for the rest of my life!”

 He sighed, “Can I at least take the notebook with me? I’m working on a new song and I need some inspiration.”

 I thought for a second, “Umm…Okay, take it. But don’t work on any of my songs while I’m not there.”

 I walked into my bedroom and started getting ready.

 I didn’t really want to go on that date. I would much more rather just stay at home with my friend and work on my music. But almost everyone my age was already in a relationship or was even thinking about getting married. And then there’s me. I just feel pressured by everyone. Everyone keeps telling me that I’m getting older and I have to form a family and blah, blah, blah…

 I heard Yoongi get up and go to the door.

 “Bye!” he said.

 “See you tomorrow!” I answered before hearing him close the door behind him.

Suga’s POV

When I first met [Y/N] about a month ago I was fascinated. Just purely fascinated. And not by her looks, but by the way she talked. I felt as if I can listen to her talk for hours. She doesn’t know it, but every time I’m stressed, sad or in creator’s block just hearing her voice makes me feel a lot better.

 And the more I got to know her, the more my fascination of her grew. Soon, I was fascinated not just by the way she talked, but by literally everything about her. The ways she thinks, the way she walks, the way she smiles crookedly, the way she covers her mouth when she laughs so she’s not too loud - everything.

 At first, I thought my fascination was normal because we’re best friends and most best friends are also fascinated by each other. Right? I kept telling myself that until one night I found myself laying awake in my bed, scribbling down lyrics. Lyrics that were about her. Songs, melodies, and music that were about her.

 I didn’t even realize I was writing them about her at first. They were just popping up in my head. But the more I thought about them, the more I thought of her.

 And I know that what I’m feeling is extremely stupid and selfish! Because we’re best friends, but she doesn’t like me like that. I know it’s so stupid, but my heart still flutters every time she accidentally touches my hand. And I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want her to go on dates. I want her to stay with me.

 I got home and sat down on my desk. I took all the songs that I have written about her and put them away. And that night I promised myself one thing. I promised myself that I’m not going to be selfish and ruin our friendship. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. I’ll just keep my feelings hidden and they would eventually disappear. Right? Right?…

Goodbye Everyone! 💟

Hello Lovelies! I have sad news…


I’m sorry that I haven’t had the opportunity to come onto here in such a long time, as I have started work and had no time or energy to spare to tell you this:


Admin Erika has been kicked off of all of my blogs due to what she has done to myself and my family in real life. She had come up to move with us and frequently lied and other things so we kicked her out and we sent her back home. The one person that I always thought would be there for me, who wouldn’t lie to me or manipulate me, did and that was a very painful truth and lesson to both learn and face. She’s a coward and twisted, a very vile snake and that’s all that I will say about this.


The reason that I have decided to post the things she had wrote on this blog was so you all wouldn’t be let down, and some of her work was quite decent, which I told her myself.


I’m afraid that all of the posts before this are the ABSOLUTE LAST things that I will be writing and posting upon this blog. Why? I do not feel that Tumblr is the same place that it was the first day that I started up this blog about a year or so ago. The fandom’s are surely not the same and I have seen quite an increase of selfish desire in a lot of my reader’s and follower’s to have their thirst for fanfiction met more than the person behind it all’s, - creating it all’s-, need’s being met or mental, emotional, physical, etc. need’s being met. And you know what? I don’t need that in my life right now.


For a long time I haven’t had the thirst or the passion or the drive to keep up with the growing demand of writing fanfiction for you all because hardly anybody actually realizes that there’s a person beyond the keyboard or device that is being used, and I find that sad, as I have always thrived to treat those with respect and love, and always in the way in which that I would like to be treated, but that is not being returning to me on my blogs and I am tired of it. It seems that a lot of you just do not care about me as a person like you used to or whether you ever have, and you expect and expect and expect the world from me, but I cannot give you that.


Another reason as to why I am leaving this blog is due to the fact that my life is changing and so are priorities. I’m working now, I no longer feel that need for diving into fictional writing, because I’ve gotten to a stage in my life that I adore where I am, I love work and I love my life and family; I’m so much more confident, happy and appreciative in life and I truly mean that. I’ve also lost the drive to write or really think of fictional worlds because Admin Erika ruined that for me and she made very many things clear to me, and how I was before wasn’t healthy. She helped me to learn that I deserve better in this world, in this life and I need to start being myself, being true to who I am, instead of bending and pleasing everyone else. Because I can’t do that. I can only please myself and those who truly matter.


I grew up with an imaginative mind. I always wanted to be a writer. I grew up with thinking about fandom’s or thinking about my role models cheering me on every step of the way - even when I was going through the roughest moments or even the most thrilling of moments -; and I do not denote that in anyone else. Nor do I pity anyone for doing that, in fact, I cherish people whom look up to fictional character’s or whatever it may be, because let’s get real here: Fictional world’s are horrible. I mean that, most fictional worlds have trouble’s in them and character’s overcome phenomenal things and teach us strength and many other things.


I will always remember what these fictional characters have taught me in my life, but for now I need to put this all to rest because I’m growing up, new opportunities are presenting themselves to me in my life and there are many new people to meet and places to go to and all sorts of things that I have yet to discover. I made the step to close my laptop, step out of my door and out of my comfort zone and for that I am grateful for.


When I started this blog, I wasn’t in a very good place, mentally or emotionally or financially or anything, but I have overcome mountains through writing, through fictional world’s, through having the courage to evolve and grow as a person. And I am completely content with that.
I started this blog wanting to spread some love to fandom’s that hadn’t gotten much love, and had the courage to start up two other blogs too; @lostinnarutoscenarios @thekeytoerebor. And I will always remember how it really did start: Through Twilight and The Little Vampire, etc. But the one that really made me strong was The Outsiders. I remember coming into class in grade 7, I was twelve years old and my teacher told us about a new book we’d be reading in class, and through that I met a wonderful gang of boys who all helped me to become who I am today, and everyday I preach the lessons that those boys and S.E Hinton have taught me. I found my passion through written through that novel, movie, TV series and I am forever grateful for The Outsiders coming into my life and blessing it with such knowledge, wisdom, comfort and the Universe only knows what more!


This is heart wrenching for me because my family and true friends know how much I love writing, but my passion isn’t there for fanfiction any more. I am not sorry to say goodbye to all the wonderful people I have met upon all three of my blogs, because I have loved each and very one of you who have supported me, hearted my posts, reblogged my posts, shouted my stuff out or my blog out, given me such beautiful messages when I was having so much hate and hurt coming through my inbox or in my real physical life. You have helped me have so much confidence within myself and I love all of you to the moon and back (and I only ever say such things when I truly mean it).


Now is the time for me to turn over another page in my life, end a chapter, but also to end this book of my life, and to open a new one. Now is the time for me to open that brand new front cover with passion, hunger, confidence, love, happiness, and so much more, and read that first word, that first sentence, that first paragraph and page and persevere and carry on.


This isn’t goodbye forever - or maybe it may be-, you never know, one day I may have that passion and thirst back for writing, for fanfiction, for goodness knows what else that has to do with writing, and I may come back and spread what I have learnt. So I will definitely say goodbye and farewell for now, my lovelies, my sunshine’s my sweetheart’s, my sweetie’s, my follower’s and my supporter’s.


I wish nothing but the best for all of you, and I hope you find yourselves and what you would like to do in life. Never mind what other’s say, okay? Your dreams are valid and they are true, and you CAN accomplish anything as long as you believe in yourself. Opportunities come in many shapes and forms, as do blessings and I hope many miracles and blessings come into your lives. Thank you for ALWAYS blessing my life - to those who have on here - with such love and support, I truly respect, admire and love you all!


Remember to always be open and try something new. Take that first step. That first step may not always be as you expected or the happy break you were looking for, but persevere like all of our fictional character’s and inspirations, role models, etc. have taught us to do. Do not be afraid of change, but embrace it with grace, love and gratitude, because as one door closes, another door opens. As one page turns, another one begins. As one book ends, another one begins. As one thing begins, another one ends. Life continues on.

Never be afraid to try something out of your comfort zone, explore and create your life the way you would like it to be, because it takes courage to form your life with your interests. And NEVER EVER let ANYONE tell you that your dreams and goals, your aspirations, etc. are impossible, because they aren’t. I believe everyone has a purpose - and I don’t give a single damn if you give me hate for it - and I believe that we are all here for a reason. As long as you have courage, be kind, are accepting of other’s and receptive and just spread love and light, good will always come your way.


Remember, your thoughts create your reality and it is always daunting to begin that first step to achieve your dreams, etc. but all of those great people out there who have accomplished their dreams or are on the road to finding out or realizing their dreams have always carried on or overcome so much. Your life is amazing, no matter what you go through and never let anyone tell you that your views, opinions, beliefs, race, where you come from, your background, your life experience, etc. is worthless, dis-countable, appropriate to be undermined or stepped on, etc. because they are wrong. As long as you come from a place of love and goodness, you, your beliefs, etc. are valid and important and should be appreciated, accepted and so much more.


Accept all areas of yourself, explore your gifts, natural talents, or even begin things that you never thought you’d be good at, okay? Because you’d honestly surprise yourself. I’ve learnt that I am a creative, honest, loving, amazing person who has so much passion and good to share with this world. I have learnt that I am amazing at art, dancing, counselling and helping other’s, hair & beauty, fashion, interior decorating, scrap booking, shining some light in other people’s day, being a phenomenal friend and so much more, right? And you know what? I’m going to explore and stay open and not turn down these new opportunities, etc. that comes into my life because every day is a new day and life is what you make it and I’m choosing to make my life great.


I’m wishing you all a lot of love and blessing’s, peace and goodness in all forms and ways because I love each and every one of you wholly and fully. Visit my blogs at ANY time you’d like, read my imagines, look at my posts, etc. and I hope I’ve given and continue to give you inspiration, hope, admiration, light in your life and so much more. I hope I’ve been and continue to be a positive influence upon you all.


I love you all! Peace and love, lovelies. This is goodbye for now. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍- Admin Kat 💟


P.S. Please look at this blog and give this blog a shout out! https://attackontitan-girl-imagines.tumblr.com/ This is going to be the last time that I shout out someone on this blog or anything, but I’m glad to help someone! ❤

Farewell, Sunshines! ❤

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you'll have an answer, but I thought I'd ask: I'm currently planning on binding my own book to remake my Book of Shadows, and I was wondering if you had advice on papers to use. I want it to have lots of pages, but printer paper just doesn't feel right - I want something of a heavier weight and a little coarser. Do you have any suggestions? (I love your blog, btw!!)

Ah, you must have seen that I do bookbinding, because you’ve come to the right place, my friend!

Printer paper is fine for most simple journals - it takes pencil writing well, and ink (read: dip pen ink, ballpoint ink) doesn’t usually bleed through it.

(Sharpie will bleed through it. Sharpie will bleed through anything, it feels like.)

But it’s usually very thin paper - 20-22lb is average, and it’s not very opaque. You can easily see through it to the page underneath, and it’s flimsy.

I like card stock - it fits well in your printer if you need it to, it’s thick and opaque and archival quality, and that makes me happy.

I’d go for 60lb thickness at least for bookbinding, but that’s at absolute minimum - personally, I’d go even thicker, in the 80lb-100lb+ range.

One thing about all of that though, is that it’s usually a very smooth texture, like most printer-suitable papers, so that the ink can print evenly. For a rough texture, you can look for handmade papers, artists’ papers, or even some scrapbooking papers that have a more natural texture. You could even learn to make paper yourself, which is very fun, but also time consuming.

Unfortunately, artists’ papers and the like can be…expensive. Really expensive. Like, $3> a sheet expensive, which in a 250+ page book, is not something I can personally afford to work with, so I’ll probably stick to card stock, haha.

Now, fun facts about paper grain:

When paper is made, the machinery makes the individual grains of the paper all align in a certain way. And because of this, it’s always best to fold paper parallel with the grain. That way, when the paper expands or contracts (based on the humidity, moisture, temperature, etc), it’ll do so in a way that won’t hurt your binding. This goes for simple booklets and stuff too.

Most papers should tell you which way the grain is aligned, but I’ve found out that unfortunately, most don’t seem to. Especially if they’re just plain copy or printer paper. In general, if a paper says it’s “short grain,” that means that the grain runs parallel with the shortest edge of the paper. Opposite if it’s “long grain.” And sometimes it’s indicated by an underlined number - “8.5 x 11″ with the 11 underlined means long-grain, “11 x 17″ with the 11 underlined would mean short grain. Make sense so far?

(Edit: tumblr removed my underlines somehow, so I changed my phrasing)

So if I were making a fairly large book out of 11″ x 17″ paper, and wanted to make signatures by folding those pieces in half, I’d want it to be short grain paper, so that my folds would be parallel with the grain.

If your paper doesn’t specify the grain, you can test to see which direction the grains run - most of the time with copy paper, it’s unfortunately long grain. But take a piece of it, and tear it in one direction, and then in the other. Whichever way tore smoother, is the way the grain runs.

However, I will be real here - paper that runs in the right grain direction for bookbinding is very hard to find, and it can also be expensive. You may be able to find larger paper than you need, and cut it down, but…really? If you don’t own a professional paper cutter, that’s a ton of work.

So, I’m going to say this, and it’s going to upset a lot of bookbinders, but in my personal opinion, it’s okay to use paper with grain going the wrong way.

Let me be clear; paper with the grain lined up properly is always going to be better. It’s always going to look and feel better when it’s bound, and it’s going to be more durable. Even the pages are going to turn more smoothly.

But there’s no shame in using copy paper and other typical long-grain paper, if you have to or want to. I’ve made plenty of journals and notebooks with paper grain going the wrong way, and if you’re careful to not use too much glue, and press the books tightly, you’ll probably be fine. There might be some buckling down the line, or a bit of curling, but sometimes that’s worth not spending hundreds of dollars on specialty paper, because the paper industry is weird.

Anyway, I hope some of that ^ ends up helping you with your project! I can get kinda passionate and rant-y about bookbinding, haha.

ANOTHER DEMON RANT

@macabre-incarnate I feel like you might like this one. And I always tag you in these lol.

Making another post about the wrong assumptions about demons because there aren’t nearly enough. 

Okay let’s begin. 
1. The first thing I would like to address is the statement “demons are evil.” No, this is not true. This is a huge, false generalization. Demons, like people, are all different. Some are good, some can be bad, and many are neutral in that they don’t go out of their way to be good or bad and simply keep to themselves. Yes, some of them may be mischievous, tricky, and just plain dickish. But to make a general assumption about them based on movies, books, and ignorant people who don’t have experience with them, is just plain stupid.
2. The second thing I would like to address is the assumption that demons are one dimensional beings that just feed off of people. Not true. All demons, like humans, have personalities, quirks, and unique traits. They live in their own societies, have rulers, laws, etc. They have likes and dislikes about food, colors, activities, animals, etc. They also have social groups, friends, and families (although some may be more solitary than others). Some do feed off of energy but a lot of the time it’s not harmful to those whose energy is being taken. For example, demons like incubi and succubi feed off of sexual energy.
3. The third thing I would like to address is the assumption that demons hate or dislike humans. I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to say that demons LIKE humans, but I wouldn’t say they all dislike humans. There are some that do dislike humans or prefer not to communicate with them, but a majority of them don’t care all that much about humans, so they don’t really bother with them. Demons are a very busy species since they are “living” entities, and many of them don’t have time to mess with humans. Some do, and like to pull pranks, but most aren’t willing to go out of their way to harm humans. There are some demons that even like and enjoy the company of humans. Some demons are willing to be companions to humans and help them learn about themselves and the world. I for example, have a casual friendship with a demon who visits me on and off. He has his own personality. He’s very calm, warm and loving, and enjoys the taste of cinnamon. He also loves Christmas, and hot tea. Now does that sound like a bad guy to you? Hardly! 
4. The fourth thing I want to address is kind of silly, but people like to assume that all demons are scary looking or monstrous. Like in the movies (which are EXTREMELY inaccurate) demons are depicted as having terrifying or grotesque features. SOME demons really are scary looking (but this doesn’t mean they are evil or bad by any means) but many can look like humans or animals (or a combination of them), as well as an entirely different creature we have never seen. Some are very unique looking, some are cute, some are really beautiful. Some look nothing like what you would expect. So be open minded!
5. And lastly, I would like to just say that demons don’t possess humans. It’s possible but extremely difficult and unlikely. Usually its a mutual thing that’s agreed upon. So stop with the demon possession shit, its old af.

Thank you for taking your time to read this if you did!

anonymous asked:

i want to start writing more nonfiction - more personal creative essays. but i'm really anxious about it? any advice?

write write write. the key to nonfiction is voice, and the key to creative nonfiction and especially personal essays, is your voice. 

read a lot of nonfiction, be open to different types and different styles and perspectives. mimic styles until you feel like branching out (but make sure you do, branch out that is. for my creative nonfiction course last semester, we were told to write a piece in the style of anne carson’s short talks, which I found helpful, but several of my classmates just….continued to copy anne carson for the rest of the semester. do not do this)

one thing I run into, as both editor AND writer, is striking the balance between the personal element and the subject on which you’re writing. this is especially precarious when doing cultural criticism of the personal essay variety. I would really love to read your unique perspective on Space Jam, but it can’t just be “when I was 10 I watched Space Jam, looked at Lola Bunny, and realized I was gay” (note: someone please pitch that story to me), there needs to be an element of, well, okay but what was Space Jam doing, when it was released in 1996? Why is your point of view significant? Where is the personal narrative going to take us? There are some really fantastic pieces of personal creative nonfiction that are not simply naval-gazing, and that’s the goal. 

I take from your ask that your anxiety is due more to the “personal” aspect than the “creative essay” aspect. I get that. It’s embarrassing to write personal essays; it’s going to feel vulnerable and a bit narcissistic. if you publish, people you know - people who may very well have been in your life when the particular event described in your essay occurred - will read it. The personal is wholly terrifying, I even feel this way when I read others’ writing (like in the case of Hunger, which was hard to look at but also impossible to look away from). But you sent me this ask because you feel driven to write the personal, anon. You obviously feel like there’s something you want or need to write, and so you’ll do it. Sometimes writing the personal is very much like gritting your teeth very hard.

A small exercise: take a small moment in your life, not your biggest tragedy or your greatest joy, but something small. Small, but significant. An engagement with media, an experience you learned something from, etc. Write 500 - 1000 words about this thing. Writing about something small is the most challenging, because maybe you haven’t really thought of all the things about it that are significant. Making something small seem like a bigger than life experience, so that the reader feels like they took something away from it that they couldn’t get anywhere else - that’s what good personal essays do. 

Here are some of my favorites:

“The Cult of Heath Ledger”, Trey Taylor for Dazed (I read this today) 

 “Grief Magic”, Emily Rapp for The Rumpus

“Adventures With UPS Man”, Roxane Gay for The Hairpin

“How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Empty My Shelves”, Alana Massey, for LitHub

Writer’s Block and You: On Causes and How to Write On

If I were going to rank the writing-related questions from least to greatest, “how do I beat writer’s block?” probably falls quite high on the list, if not at number one. When I worked as a small publisher’s community manager, this question would show up at least twice a week- on forums, discussion posts, and Q&As with other published authors.  

The responses were varied and usually stale in quality: the same “take a walk, listen to fresh music, write something else”- and that’s not to say that these things can’t stop Writer’s Block, because they can for some people. But it’s often occurred to me that, for a question that gets asked so much, there are very few solid answers as to how you actually stop Writer’s Block. There is nothing more frustrating when you are applying all of the fixes and they just don’t work. Que the spiral of despair as you stare down that ever-blinking cursor.

But if Writer’s Block is an ailment, we shouldn’t be searching for the cure; we should find the cause. The same logic applies if you spike a fever; cause might say you have cold, but WebMD will convince you that you’re probably dying of gangrene.  

So, let’s talk about a few distinct types of Writer’s Block and what they do to the writing process.*

*(to me, personally. Full disclaimer here, because the most important thing to understand about Writer’s Block is how, just like writing habits, its causes are very unique to the author.)


Starting-Point Stage Fright:

Usually right before or at the beginning of every novel. Symptoms include procrastination, excessive research, and lots of deleted opening paragraphs.

Originally posted by whattawurld

There’s a really great quote by Gene Wolfe, which goes, “You never learn how to write a novel … you only learn to write the novel you’re on.” This was said to Neil Gaiman (yeah, that Gaiman), who finally felt he had this novel thing down after writing American Gods.

I’m now three novels into my writing career, with two more on my plate for this year. Each one of them starts with the sensation of groping around a pitch-black room with only my rough outline and a half functional flashlight. There are things in this room that I want (and probably better batteries for my flashlight), but I need to get my bearings first. It usually takes me about 15,000 words to do this, and it’s easy to mistake this sensation for a “lack of inspiration.” I encourage you to bury the concept of inspiration somewhere deep for now. Inspiration isn’t magical fully-fleshed out concepts; inspiration is what we do when we find those fresh batteries and get a clearer picture of our space. “Press forward to those 15,000,” I remind myself. It always pays off and I always manage to find those batteries eventually, even if it takes a few tries.

The Middle of Despair: 

Named so for its location, as the middle of books are notorious for being mind-numbingly hard to write. Symptoms will include plotting ending scenes you have not yet written, social media browsing, and crippling self-doubt. Welcome to the void of the writing process. You got this.


Not everyone has problems writing their novel’s middle, but it’s often noted as a rough part of first drafts and rewrites. We tend to come into stories with a general idea of the plot’s cause and effect: the beginning and middle, in more novel-related terms. It’s easy to get caught up in the sogginess of a middle and fall into a great deal of mood swing-y sadness. Writing must not be for you if you can’t even get through a simple section of the book.

But journeys aren’t about the destination, yes? And as Jeff VanderMeer says, when the reader enjoys an ending, they’re really saying they enjoyed the payoff to the well-structured middle of a novel. This quote helped me re-frame what middles were; the meat and potatoes of the story. Substance that keeps your reader around for the finale, rather than a sequence of events so you can get to the ending. Whenever I find myself trapped in the middle, I have to ask myself “how does this benefit the ending?” If it doesn’t, I cut and rework (even in a first draft, which something I would normally warn against). Listening to your gut about what isn’t working, and locating the strength in your middle, is usually one of the easiest ways to avoid its slog.

Revisionary Roadblocks:

Symptoms include starting new projects despite a lack of time, inelegant sobbing, and the return of that crippling self-doubt.

You might think, once you have finished your first draft, you would be free of the Writer’s Block and its troubling patterns. Revision and rewriting should be easy now that you’ve finished the book, right?

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Ah, the innocence.

Some of the worst roadblocks I have encountered in writing show up in the process of fixing the first draft; the scenes to reframe, plotlines to tighten, characters to build upon. Revision is harder than hell, since so many issues can show up during revisions that you don’t expect. The point of editing books is digging deeper; you must unearth the layers beneath the top soil that is your first draft, and you will find things you don’t like, things you must throw away and rework into oblivion. There will be scenes that you adore and no longer apply to your current vision. Your story will never again be the project you started, and it will never be perfect, and you get to accept that in all its artistic ugliness.

I recently finished my editing on my first novel and am currently working on edits for the second. The act of pushing through your revision roadblocks- whatever they may be, is a matter of willpower, and moreover, about confidence. It requires trusting in your own abilities, recognizing your limits, and practicing over and over. It’s about being open to failure and critique, and learning from both for the future. These are all hard to stomach, and probably the reason most people don’t like editing. But revision separates the novice from the novelist, and humbling yourself to it is the best way forward. After all, we are often much stronger writers than we feel.


What’s your experience with Writer’s Block? Where do you get it during the writing process and how have you learned to address it?

Undercover? With Him? {Part 3}

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You and Peter have a slight grudge against each other and when you are assigned to go undercover as a engaged couple, you have to get over your differences.

Word Count: 1003

A/N: I’d like to formally apologize for taking so long for publishing this, but look at it! It’s up! I had a few problems with ideas,  but after I pushed something out, I got into the flow.

I ADDED A GAY COUPLE IN THIS AND THEY ARE THE CUTEST THING.

Warnings: Hamilton

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

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Cute Demon Crashers

I told myself that I wasn’t going to write reviews for games that I’ve played. But I just couldn’t not express how much Cute Demon Crashers means to me after my first, second, third, and subsequent playthroughs.

Cute Demon Crashers is an 18+ otome game created by sugarscript that stresses consent, communication, and trust.

The MC (Claire is the default name) is a college freshman spending spring break alone at home. Claire is sexually (and possibly socially) frustrated, which attracts a group of sex demons, three incubi and a succubus, who want to help alleviate some of that frustration.

In order left to right: Mirari is the bubbly succubus and the start of all the shenanigans. Akki, who is the youngest incubus, is extremely energetic, friendly, and very good-natured (they all are very good-natured). Kael, who takes on a more caretaker-like role with the other three, is extremely kind and caring, calm, and a bit of a clean freak. Orias is very reserved and quiet, but has some very sweet moments. 

Claire gets two days to decide who (if any) she wants to have sex with. Each of the demons has cute bonding scenes for each of the time intervals, which are basically day 1 morning and afternoon and day 2 morning. The interactions between the characters are genuine and wonderful. There’s more than a little encouragement to just be yourself. All of the demons are very honest with Claire and extremely endearing. 

Each of the four characters has a beautifully written, unique intimate scene. Before each new action, the demon asks Claire if she wants to keep going (or some variation). And there is even a little “STOP” button in the top right corner that can be pressed at pretty much any time during the intimate scenes. And the weirdest thing happens: THE DEMON STOPS! Not only that, but the chosen demon assures Claire that he or she isn’t disappointed and makes sure that Claire is okay.

I love this game. I love how much I learned from this game about what I deserve in a sexual experience. And I think that everyone over 18 should play through it at least once. You will love the characters. All five of them. You will love the interactions, the story, and the art. And you will learn something about the respect that you should have for yourself and your partner every single time you have sex.

Play this game. (Only if you’re 18 or older, of course)

Full review under the cut because I got extremely emotional over this game for personal reasons and not everyone wants to read that.

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6

Originally posted by lady--koto

(Day 21)

I’m sure pretty much everyone here is familiar with Full Metal Alchemist and by extension Hiromu Arakawa. Both the artist and writer behind one of the best shonen anime/manga out there she’s quite famous. There is a reason she draws herself as a cow every time she writes about herself in the omake of the manga she creates. She grew up a farm girl, raising animals in the sticks with her family. 

Enter a recent work of hers Gin no Saji, or silver spoon. Specifically the anime adaption. 

Because of Arakawa’s intimate knowledge of botanical and animal husbandry pursuits you get an actually really accurate and interesting learning experience about farming as a whole. It’s also a huge plus that it’s wrapped up in all of the thing she does well such as her excellent characterization and comedic writing. 

The anime is a fine adaption of the manga with very good voice work and OST, especially the OPs and EDs which are total ear worms. Sukima Switch and Goose House became known to me through this anime and I love both bands now!  

We follow a do-nothing boy as he grows as a person and meets a lot of interesting characters in an agricultural college. This series is much lighter in tone than FMA in that there’s no heart rending murder of the cast to think about. But, it isn’t afraid to touch on a few close topics such as the struggle of the agricultural machine, the pressure to take on your parents work and a bit of heavy mortality. The meat you put on the table has to come from somewhere, even if that somewhere is pretty damn cute when you raise it yourself. Even if, especially if, you know nothing about animals or farming I really suggest this series because it is very down to earth (haha). You feel a sense of pride in the same vein of watching shows like “how it’s made” when the final product that looks to be simple takes a surprising amount of manpower to make. Also the anime pays special attention to making the food look delicious!

Sometimes just being a solid adaption of a very solid manga is enough to get you on a list of personal favorites. 

Something pretty awesome happened on the weekend. I came out to my mother as asexual and it went really well. I hadn’t planned on it at all but I had been telling her for a while that if she wanted to know things she’d have to ask and she did this weekend out of the blue.

She actually knew about asexuality (which I really hadn’t expected) and she was completely understanding about it and told me it was alright to be this way. She only wished that maybe I could find someone with similar inclinations to share my life with beause she doesn’t want me to be alone. Which I guess is a natural thing for mothers to feel.

I’m.. really floored, you guys. This has been on my mind for a very long time - I knew I wasn’t “normal” aka straight for at least fifteen years now, though the realisation that I might be asexual (and aromantic) is fairly new and came about two or three years ago (I actually learned about asexuality from tumblr). It’s been hard feeling like I have to keep this from my mother, who is the person in my family I’m closest to. I was actually thinking about how to bring up the topic with her.

I’m not sure it would go over this well with the rest of my family - I’m pretty estranged from them, and a lot of them are bigots. But my mother is the person I care the most about and it means the world to me that not only did she bring it up first but also that she took it so well.

After all of this time, and the angsting and the sorrow this is so anticlimatic, it’s actually pretty strange. But I’m so, so relieved.

inflicting myself

It is sometimes exhausting being a fan of things on the internet. Once a writer or their work achieves a certain level of fame, they become talked about in terms of a new modern canon. They become a thing you need to know about in certain circles. And invariably, famous writers also become talked about in terms of how exhausting it is that other people are fans of them. 

For the last few years David Foster Wallace has received the adulation/exhaustion treatment; before him, maybe it was tedious to hear about Pynchon all the time; in the future, perhaps Elena Ferrante will get the same treatment. A kind of breathless, knowing excitement arises whenever they are mentioned. Discussion of the work itself fades into the background. They’re special; it seems like they are someone everyone is reading, and you should really be reading them too.

That enthusiasm for any given writer could become tedious through repetition is something I can certainly understand. And I worry at times that, as someone who writes about books and writers, I am part of the problem. Whenever I see terms like ‘mansplaining’ raised regarding such a canon, I feel like biting my lip; I wonder how they might be applied to what I write. I think: I am a man, I suppose, and I want to explain things (albeit to nobody in particular). But at the same time, I don’t recognise myself amongst the problematic over-eager.

In my personal life outside writing, I no longer have people with whom I can enthuse about my personal tastes. I don’t go to book clubs; I’m no longer a postgraduate student; in fact I don’t really have any friends who share my taste in books or video games or music. I follow people with similar tastes on social media as a substitute for conversations I am not capable of having in the real world. If I did not write down my thoughts about what I’m reading or playing at the moment, I would do nothing with them; I suppose I would probably forget them. I don’t know if they have any inherent value but it gives me some kind of creative satisfaction to put them in words.

I wonder at the idea that anyone might struggle to get through the day without having a writer of literary fiction foisted upon them. No doubt it does happen, depending on your occupation. My own problem is almost exactly the opposite: I am fiercely reticent in unwritten everyday life when it comes to discussing things that matter intensely to me, to the point where I have basically nobody to talk to about this kind of thing.

For example, over the past year or so I’ve been reading my way slowly through the novels of Patrick O’Brian; I am genuinely enthusiastic about their merits, but I would be mortified to think that I was somehow imposing them into other people’s lives. And so I keep quiet about them in person, and I channel my enthusiasm into writing which I barely promote — partly out of fear that nobody will be interested, or that I’ll be inflicting myself on someone. There are already so many loose opinions in the world and I’m not often convinced that mine are especially worth following.

I am like this about most things, to the point where if you meet me in person, I will do almost anything to avoid telling you about what I am reading (or playing, or listening to, or genuinely interested in). The difficulty is that if you ask me the right questions, I slip very easily from small talk into heartfelt enthusiasm, and it’s been my experience that people find this odd, even to the point of being alienating. 

What I’m trying to perpetually avoid is the dreadful moment in which I earnestly reveal a part of myself to another person, and there is no connection, or even a vague sense of repulsion on their part; it’s nobody’s fault, but I might as well be talking another language. I can’t always be cursory about things that matter to me; better, I have learned over the years, not to bring up such things at all.

I’ve never made a post of this nature before, as I prefer to skirt the edge and not surmise about Tom’s personal life. However, all these insinuations I’m reading about his maths abilities are irking me.


There is a learning difficulty called Dyscalculia, and it is not unlike Dyslexia.

Dyscalculia makes it very challenging for those of us who have it to learn maths, understand equations, decide which of two numbers are larger or smaller, etc.

We flip numbers, confuse symbols (such as addition for multiplication), and have great trouble figuring out equations.

Among many other things that are affected, you can imagine doing maths in our heads (especially under pressure) is certainly one of them!

I am bringing this up as someone with this learning disability.
I am in no way saying Tom does, or does not, have this issue himself – I am only stating that maybe we should be keeping a bit of an open mind, and understand that none of us are naturally gifted in all areas.

Remember, if you can’t be kind, be quiet.

staryfaery  asked:

(isfp + scorpio + straight) i am very smart and good at school but im also very lazy so i am usually a slacker ; sarcasm and stubbornness also run through me ; my fuse is sorta short ; but i can be funny and i make terrible jokes and love to have fun and i can be very kind hearted as well and i am sometimes described as motherly or sisterly because i am alway willing to talk to my friends but i am very shy towards new people so i usually let others approach me {part 1}

I ship you with…

Mephisto!

  • Mephisto complements your adventurer isfp personality type well
  • You two go places and do neat things all the time
  • You’ll get called to his office all the time
  • Which doesn’t help with the laziness problem
  • He doesn’t give a shit about your learning or your grades tbh
  • So it’s a good thing you’re smart or you’d be fucked
  • Mephisto loves making you mad
  • He thinks it’s cute
  • But he has a love-hate relationship with your sarcasm
  • He hates it because he finds it annoying
  • He loves it because being stood up to turns him on
  • Expect lots of punishment spanks if you get sassy with him
  • He was first attracted to you because of how shy you were
  • Mephisto thinks you’re absolutely beautiful
  • He’ll never let you feel down about your body
  • Literally constant body worship
  • He will want you to show him all the music you listen to
  • And will also shove all his favorite music down your throat
  • You two go shopping for anime collectibles and merchandise all the time
  • You introduced him to crime shows
  • And then had to confiscate them because he liked the villains too much
  • You like online shopping?
  • Don’t worry
  • Mepphy has got you covered there
  • He’ll literally just give you his credit card
  • He likes taking you to your favorite places
  • But with a snap of his fingers y’all get to go water parks, aquariums, and zoos from all across the world

anonymous asked:

i would love to start with witchcraft and all, but i have no idea where to start?? i'm feeling like super lost about it, and most things i find are heavily wiccan related, which isn't very helpful to me as i am not wiccan. do you think you could you help me, or do you know someone who could, please?

WELL HELLO, FRIEND. we’re going to talk about how to learn about magic in the most OLD, GRIMOIRE-Y WAY POSSIBLE. I would like to make a personal note that none of this would be possible without carpeumbra. he’s a doll and has more books and resources than I can shake a stick at. so, here’s some info that you may find helpful in your magical adventures!

hermetic.com and sacred-texts.com are your best friends, and I’ll show you exactly why. cause we’re going to use these guys to learn about the magics. for free, with full PDFs, and all sorts of juicy info. here are some personal suggestions from these beautiful e-libraries.

  • Three Books of Occult Philosophy by Agrippa. this is my absolute magic go-to. this book is magic life. it’s hefty, but it’s worth it.
  • Liber 4 by Aleister Crowley. probably one of the easier-to-understand Crowley books, and a great entrance to some others. Liber 777 is another favorite, but I’d say that one’s a bit tougher. but hey, here are links to both!
  • The Lesser Key and the Greater Key of Solomon. YOU KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AND I CANNOT BE TRUSTED. while the Lesser Key (and all portions of the Lemegeton) are very much-so demon and spirit based, the Greater Key focuses a lot more on ceremony. which, while it may not be your prerogative (it’s expensive and a lot of it is silly), it’s nice to figure out its history.
  • Grimorium Verum by Alibek. While I have not read this personally, I’ve only heard good things. and hey, when am I to turn down more demons, right?
  • The Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. I love this guy, and use it almost entirely for book three (sigilmania), and for confirmation on some angelic/demonic things.

and many many many MANY more. these are just some of my big suggestions. as always, we have more information up on our demons page (like the rest of the Lemegeton), and plenty of primary sources to pour through! I hope this helps, and if anyone wants to add any PDFs or links, who am I to stop you?

– Mod D

spaceoldshit  asked:

Hi yogi! I know you started this path for quite a few years now. Based on the wisdom you're sharing, I believe you have learned/realized a lot. Sometimes it seems like you have already known everything. However, I know you're going to refute that. I'm curious about your personal path. What have you learned this year so far? :)

The only thing that makes me “different” is that I meditate and practice mindfulness/self-inquiry, which anyone can do. Other than that I’m just a 28-year-old dude in med school.

In all other pursuits, knowledge is gained in proportion to the things you learn. In spirituality, however, knowledge shines as your very existence in proportion to the illusions you surrender. It is not a path of adding or becoming but of shedding what is false or unreal. 

Here’s a brief overview of my personal path:

I was always into the supernatural and the occult. Then my father died before I graduated high school. It made me start questioning things.

2007 - Freshman year of college. I started meditation practice and I read Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda. 

2008 - Summer after my freshman year, I was working in NYC. I went to events held by various gurus and learned what they had to teach. I experimented with different things as I returned to my sophomore year in college.

2009 - I started to realize that one particular guru had a really transformative effect on me: Sri ShivaRudra Balayogi. His scene was free of charge and to the point. And he made himself available via email. 

2010 - All my friends went to Cancun for spring break. I went to Dehradun, India, to go on retreat at my guru’s ashram. Life changing. But mostly it made me realize I didn’t need to go to India in order to meditate. I started this blog the fall of my senior year. 

2011 - In the spring, I graduated from college and then things got real. Lots of suffering. No job, living at home, broke up with long time girlfriend. I turned to my path for healing. 

The following several years I spent bouncing around, seeking aimlessly, going on some wonderful adventures with friends but also having many “WTF am I doing with my life?!” moments. 

2013 - Spring I decide to pursue becoming a doctor. I am accepted to attend a post-bac premed program at Columbia that fall. 

2014 - Spring, I go on an amazing retreat in California. My path is really ramping up as I discover Advaita, Ramana Maharshi, and Self-Inquiry. However, that summer I am stricken by an illness that still hasn’t been properly diagnosed. Chronic back pain and muscle spasms in my extremities. Sciatica as well. 

As a result, I couldn’t find a way to sit for meditation. I lost all connection with my path for the subsequent year. It was hell.

2015 - I finish my postbac program and begin to heal as I have time for self-care. I met my current girlfriend in the autumn. 

2016 - In the spring, I am accepted to attend medical school. I began in the autumn. 

I know all of this was more than you had asked but I felt it necessary for context. It has been a lot of ups and downs. 

Now that I am in medical school, I have found a proper balance between self-care and work. My spiritual practice has also found its place. I practice three aspects: Meditation, Self-Inquiry/Mindfulness, and Bhakti (Devotion). Devotion is an art, Self-Inquiry is a science, and Meditation is indescribable. 

The most recent thing I have come to focus on is that Enlightenment or Self-Realization has nothing to do with this world or my personal story. So much of what you see in spiritual circles is about diet, vibrations/emotions, esoteric philosophies, and lifestyle. I dig those things but they do not confine the spiritual path. Nor are they even necessary. At best they are props to guide us, at worst they are utter distractions. 

Enlightenment cannot be marketed or placed within a consumerist context. It just wont work. The only place you will find it is in your daily spiritual practice and your continual questioning of life/consciousness. 

So it goes. 

It has been a magnificent privilege and joy to share this space with every one of you. It has made me realize how wonderful and relatable humanity truly is. Thank you, all of you. 

Namaste :) Thanks for this question–it was a lovely opportunity to reflect. 

anonymous asked:

Hi, I love your blog(a lot) and am hoping you can help me. I have a crush on an ENTJ I met a while ago; my 1st crush ever and I don't like it. I get that emotions aren't logical, but this just seems beyond all reason. This person won't leave my head and I barely even know them. I can't even speak to them without stuttering or blanking like a fool. I'm sure I made a bad 1st and 2nd and maybe 3rd impression. How do I make this crush go away? Can I? Or am I doomed? Please help -A very confused INTP

How to Handle a Crush, Rationally

Attraction can be irrational, but the way you deal with it doesn’t have to be.

Most people focus entirely on themselves when they have a crush. They’d think: does this person like me? Am I coming off alright? Am I saying the right things? etc. which doesn’t help the situation, and doesn’t make them like you any better.

Don’t treat them as a “crush”, think of them as an “intrigue”. As in, I’m intrigued by this person, and I want to learn more about them. Instead of treating them like an idol, you treat them like a puzzle to be figured out.

Think about this: this person that you have a crush on, would you still like them if you find out that they secretly enjoy kicking stray dogs? What if they are verbally abusive only to people they’re in a relationship with? What if they’re hell bent on moving to Bali, and you don’t ever want to go there?

That’s why you must talk to them to find out if they’re ACTUALLY COMPATIBLE WITH YOU!

Find out:

  • What are their values, and are those compatible with yours?
  • What do they think is important in a relationship? What are they looking for right now?
  • How do they handle conflicts?
  • What are their life goals? Where do they see themselves in the future?
  • How do they treat other people around them?
  • How do they make important decisions? And can you respect the way they come to those decisions?

If you spend enough time with them to figure these out, you’ll know exactly what to do - to stick around, or move on.

Relationships don’t have to be illogical at all. My current relationship definitely makes sense, and that’s why it works. It makes sense that we’re together because we’re compatible in all important aspects. And you’d only know whether yours makes sense if you figure it out.

-eilamona

[ MBTI Merch ]

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general social etiquette for making plans (mostly applies to one-on-one plans):

if you do want to go but can’t make it at that date/time: suggest a new date/time. this is your job now, as the person who can’t make the initial suggestion! just saying ‘nope i’m busy at that time’ puts all the scheduling burden on the asker, and making plans is a two-way street. (it’s such a nightmare to continue suggesting dates and to continue hearing ‘i have plans then, when else can we do it’!!!)

if you don’t want to go: say ‘thanks for the invite, but i’m not really into [alligator wrestling/competitive embroidery/guy fieri lookalike contests]. thanks for thinking of me though!’ ambiguity is no fun, make it totally clear that you are not down. this has the added benefit that, in the future when you do accept an invite, the asker knows you’re totally into it!!!! (begging off in other ways [like having ambiguous fictional ‘other plans’] can lead to the asker suggesting multiple other dates/times, which can frustrate them and make you anxious)

if you are the person inviting someone to a thing: be explicit about the date and time, or range of dates and times. ‘let’s do this someday’ is unhelpful and frustrating!! at the very least, try to narrow it down a little (like, ‘what saturday in the next month works for you’)