Do you not like Mindy Kaling? If so why? I'm genuinely curious! Not attacking .
omg.,.,.I dont hate her.,,.,shes like the brown girl at ur all white school that u wanted to be friends with but she thot she was better than u because her jessica, katie and becky are exclusive bffs that went to the same country club since the age of 10 and she doesnt want to associate with any desiness except now jessica asked her to do the henna design for her upcoming sweet 16 which is bollywood style and now mindy is like omg can you let me borrow ur suit and youre like excuse me
If you haven’t seen my friend evanedinger’s wonderful My Sexuality video, please give it a watch. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a couple of days after watching it, and though Evan says everything I want to say much better than I can, I figured having a little ramble here couldn’t hurt.
A few years ago I became aware of asexuality. I kind of skimmed over it, mentally noted what it was but refused to research into it too much because I knew I’d find myself. And I didn’t want (and still don’t want) a label. I know that lots of people take great comfort in defining themselves, and I suppose it’s for that reason I’m sharing this. ALSO this is kind of weird because I have to use the phrase ‘sexual attraction’ a lot and that makes me blush.
As a pre-teen, I didn’t enjoy when conversations delved into 'crushes’ and boy stuff. All I cared about was horses and books and books about horses. It’s really easy to avoid talking about boys when you’re at primary school. Cross the teenage bridge into high school, and it’s a whole other story.
Spoilers for What About Peter within these poorly assembled thoughts.
Ok, so I wasn’t able to watch the newest Mindy Project episode when it aired in my time zone and I made the mistake of scrolling through my twitter feed to see what people were tweeting about it. (I love spoilers, so that’s not a problem) Seeing people’s reactions had me worried about this episode, like really worried (I mean I knew the gist of what was happening, but people were being hella dramatic).
And guess what? I love it and it doesn’t make me dislike Danny one bit. I feel like the people that are continually having a problem with Danny’s “backtracking” just don’t have a grasp on what it means to him to be ‘all in.’ They feel like he should be on the same exact runaway train that Mindy is on, and that’s just not Danny. (He watches the weather channel for entertainment, he likes to enjoy things when they’re good, and sees no reason to strive for change when it could upset things.)
BUT that last scene (and also the one during the party) was so damn important, for many reasons. We’ll do bullet points because I like bullet points, they’re very punchy and pointed and whatnot.
Danny did not flip out when he realized what Mindy was thinking. He didn’t say anything cruel (which is always his knee jerk reaction when something scares him) he didn’t leave (again, the usual reaction when he feels overwhelmed).
He was gentle with her, he tried to explain his intentions in a way that wasn’t hurtful.
We’ve seen him yell at her about her crazy ideas, ok. That’s not what this was. “Don’t be embarrassed… Min.”
(and btw to people who think this is part of Danny’s “mama’s boy” personality. No. I disagree so strongly. This is SUCH a real thing, thinking and worrying about elderly parents. Danny is exactly the kind of person who wouldn’t even consider putting her in home. It’s completely in character. And he was just thinking about it, nothing was planned).
Mindy was not theatrical when she realized she’d made an incorrect assumption. She was crushed that the word “family” didn’t include her (not true by the way), and even felt a little foolish for her to make that assumption.
And Danny reacted to her hurt the way anyone reacts when someone they love is hurting. He would have gone after her had not his attention been drawn elsewhere
(you can’t blame him, someone just flew out a freaking window, this is a comedy after all)
And also “Can we talk about that?” COMMUNICATION. Again, Danny is gentle with her here. He really doesn’t want her to feel rejected, or overlooked. He hated the the hurt he saw and didn’t want to make it worse, but he couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear, he had to be honest. A part of me believes that for Danny, Mindy is already very much a part of his family. She’s thick as thieves with his mother (they bicker like hell, which we all know, mindy does with those she loves). Is it really that much of a stretch to imagine Danny and Mindy living together, and Annette down the hall?
(AND ANOTHER THING, Danny DID say “family,” not “mom,” which is not typically what you hear him refer to a single member of his family by. He usually says “mom” or “richie” and only says family when he’s talking about more than one person. I do feel like Mindy being a part of his family makes it easier for him to think about the future, and what he’ll inevitably have to do with his mother, and that Mindy will be right there with him even if it’s uncomfortable because family is important to her too.)
LAST (probably not last) BUT NOT LEAST, Mindy you maturing darling I love you.
I feel like Danny expected the conversation to go differently. The last time they had a biggie, Mindy gave him an ultimatum, which didn’t work out well (and also he was very recently was privy to yet another ultimatum in her diary). Not only do I think he expected it, but I think he’d been waiting for it for a while, almost wanting it. Despite the bravado Danny exudes in SO many aspects of his life, he’s absolutely shaky when it comes to relationships, and I think he lets Mindy take the lead so much of the time that it’s become habit for him. He’s still stuck in that headspace where he doesn’t want to screw things up, and only changes the status quo when she brings something up (leaving things at his place, staying over at her place, etc).
SO he jumps the gun, responding as though she’d given him an ultimatum, couching his invitation to live together in very cautious terms “I’m really really nervous, but if you want to move in, I want to give it a try.” It’s laying the frame work for a hasty retreat if things don’t work out, thinking maybe if he approaches it cautiously there are fewer things that can go wrong.
She doesn’t react to his caution the way he wants. She sees it as him doubting that they can do it, and she doesn’t want him to do something just because he feels pushed into a corner. For all of her “man chasing” and supposed single minded pursuit of a husband, Mindy knows there are certain things you can’t force or manipulate, and she also knows it’s not really the end of the world if things don’t work out with Danny (IT WOULD SUCK MAJOR BALLS AND I WOULD HATE IT but it wouldn’t be the end of Mindy Lahiri’s life)
Danny is totally knocked off balance by her response though. His tone and stance shift IMMEDIATELY, and he physically stops her from leaving. (My heart did a little pitter patter there).
(credit: tmpgifs) His eyes cut to the side, and it feels like a little realization that he’s in a place he didn’t expect to be, that he wants things he didn’t expect to want, and that maybe he’s just unsure of how to go about getting them.
AND FINALLY, MINDY MINDY MINDY She’s not terribly upset by Danny’s reaction. I can think she sees that he wants what she wants, and that he just needs to take the plunge in his own way. She’s ready for her life to start and would love it to be with Danny if he’d just get his shit in order.
In my head “Do it because you want to Danny, you know you want to.” That face is not the face of a heartbroken woman, that’s the face of a woman who knows what she wants and knows there’s a very strong possibility she’s going to get it.
NOTE: I am aware of what is coming, and I do not know how it will work out. I have my hopes, but Mindy Kaling likes to subvert typical romantic narratives, and if it does go in a more angsty direction with the Stanford decision and what that means for Mindy and Danny, I will be sad, but I don’t think it’ll make me like the show less. SIDE NOTE: I can see how i may seem like a Danny apologist, this is not something that needs to be pointed out to me. OTHER SIDE NOTE: this post is a mess and I’ll probably delete it later
If someone called me chubby, it would no longer be something that kept me up late at night. Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me.
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
I’ve been avoiding an anonymous ask in my box today, because some of the details could probably be used to identify one or more specific TMP fans, and while I don’t know who it is, I don’t think that it’s helpful to us as a community to single any person out unless it’s for praise.
The gist was that some people were choosing to support the show one way, and the anonymous commenter did not necessarily agree that they were doing all they could do for the show, and perhaps were cherry-picking participation opportunities for self-promotion.
Well, that’s as may be, but there’s no wrong way to enjoy the show and definitely no wrong way to promote it. We’re a small fanbase, and we can’t fall apart now. We’ve been through the mill this year: threatened with losing this thing we love, and still facing the possibility that this season may not get extended or renewed. We’ve banded together to do a wide variety of promotions, and worked really hard at trying to invite new fans in - so let’s keep it up. Participate any way you can, participate any way you want to, and take the time to appreciate how lucky we are to have this show and this community.
I’ll start the ball rolling by naming someone, and I want YOU, dear fans to reblog this and name someone in the fandom who you are thankful for - and if you can’t or don’t want to then that’s fine too. I appreciate you.
Thank you dagaptoothedbetch for sending me interesting asks about The Mindy Project, which really encourages me to write more!