in which j is my favourite

My favourite ACOMAF moment is when Feyre first visits the Illyrian camp and Rhys is threatening the leader and you completely expect him to say something like “don’t hurt her because she’s under my protection”, which would imply she’s an easy target. But Rhys immediately establishes Feyre as being capable of protecting herself. That was such an important moment, because he let her take back the power that Tamlin had taken away from her. I remember reading it for the first time and being so surprised and impressed.


Honestly one of my favourite trends in the Falsettos fandom is the whole:

Me: *long and passionate rant about a character/song/starring person

Cashier/taxi driver/phone operator: please leave

because it implies that we all have no one else to talk to about this amazing goddamn musical which is absolutely correct.


If you have been following me for a while you will recognise my favourite spot. I come here to work a lot and we also regularly meet here with a good friend to catch up. The last time we met was a few days before his wedding and now we have all returned and he is married, which is overwhelming and wonderful. The wedding was beautiful but it didn’t really sink in until seeing him as we usually do. I had to get his wedding ring in the frame, because I have so many photographs like these and they are starting to tell their own story :–)

Put a letter in my ask! I'll answer honestly !

A - Available?
B - Birthday?
C - Crushing on?
D - Drink you last had?
E - Easiest person to talk to?
F - Favourite song?
G - Grade i hated?
H - Hometown?
I - Icecream flavour?
J - Jellybean flavour?
K - Killed someone?
L- Longest friendship?
M - Milkshake flavour?
N - Number of siblings?
O - One wish?
P - Person who called me last?
Q - Question your always asked?
R - Reason to smile?
S - Song i last sung?
T - Time you woke up?
U - Umbrella colour?
V - Very best friend?
W - Which celebrity i’d marry?
X - X rays i had?
Y - Your last time you cried?
Z - Zodiac sign?

a lot of horrible great pickup lines that never always work!
(compiled with assistance from friends, the internet (especially these guys), and myself)

  • are you a cigarette because you got a hot butt
  • you turn my software into hardware
  • am i dead because you must be an angel
  • are you shampoo with moroccan oil because you’re giving me body
  • your dad must be a baker, because you got some nice buns
  • are you a mophie case because you’re giving me extra juice
  • help me! i’m lost! can you give me directions to our bedroom?
  • are you homosexual tendencies because i don’t want to tell anyone about you until i’m ready
  • what is that in your eye? oh yeah it’s a twinkle
  • i’m gonna need a library card because i’m checking you out
  • are you lady gaga because you make my (he)artpop
  • are you a pokemon because i wanna pikachu
  • are you an easter basket because i wanna hold your eggs
  • are you a fast food sandwich because you’d be a mcgorgeous
  • are you roadkill because i wanna take you home for dinner
  • are you caffeine because i can’t go a day without you
  • that outfit looks great on you but i think that i’d look better on you
  • are you from tennessee because you’re the only ten i see
  • are you gluten free because i want your glutes on me
  • are you big bang theory because my parents love you
  • are you earwax because i can’t get you out of my head
  • are you the movie chicago because i watch you a lot
  • are you a nun because you are nun like any other
  • you must be starbucks because i crave you five times a day
  • i lost my teddy bear! can i sleep with you?
  • if i was a superhero, i wouldn’t be batman, superman, or iron man, i’d be your man
  • did you feel this shirt? it’s boyfriend (girlfriend) material
  • my love for you is like diarrhea, it is out of control
  • are you a palm tree because i am coco-nuts about you
  • are you the new mariokart because i want you so bad
  • are you megan fox because you’re hot
  • are you a bunny because you hopped your way into my heart
  • if you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple
  • did you invent the airplane because you seem wright for me
  • do you have a band-aid because i just scraped my knee falling for you
  • are you an interior decorator because when I saw you the entire room became beautiful
  • are you religious because you’re the answer to all my prayers
  • did you sit in a pile of sugar because you have a pretty sweet ass
  • your body is 65% water and i’m thirsty
  • my doctor says i’m lacking vitamin u
  • can i follow you home because my parents always told me to follow my dreams
  • did we take a class together because i could’ve sworn we had chemistry
  • was your dad a boxer because you’re a knockout
  • you’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line
  • if i had a star for every time you brightened my day i’d have a galaxy in my hand
  • if being sexy was a crime you’d be guilty as charged
  • i was wondering if you had an extra heart because mine seems to have been stolen
  • if you were a vegetable you’d be a cu(te)cumber
  • if I were a cat I’d spend all nine lives with you
  • do you work at starbucks because i like you a latte
  • are you a banana because i find you appealing
  • did you read dr. seuss as a kid because green eggs and damn
  • is your dad a drug dealer because you’re so dope
  • me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, andasentencewithoutspaces
  • your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon
  • most people like to watch the olympics because they only happen once every 4 years but i’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime
  • i must be a snowflake because i’ve fallen for you
  • there’s something wrong with my cell phone; it doesn’t have your number in it
  • if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print
  • do you work at dick’s because you’re sporting the goods
  • you must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room
  • i’d like to invite you over, but i’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill
  • excuse me, but i think i dropped something, my jaw
  • if you were a booger i’d pick you first
  • if i were to ask you out on a date would your answer be the same as the answer to this question
  • if this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib
  • are you lost because heaven is a long way from here
  • are you a campfire because you are hot and i want s’more
  • you’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind
  • put down that cupcake because you’re sweet enough already
  • you’re so fine you make me stutter wha-wha-what’s your name
  • when I first saw you I looked for a signature because every masterpiece has one
  • i like legos you like legos why don’t we build a relationship
  • i might not be sriracha sauce but i sure will spice up your life
  • are you jewish because you israeli hot
  • you may be asked to leave soon because you’re making all the other (wo)men look bad
  • are you chapstick because i wanna rub you all over my mouth
  • did you just fart because you just blew me away and the whole room smells really bad
  1. Your Sun-Moon-Rising?
  2. Your Mercury-Venus-Mars?
  3. Any other of your placements/aspects that you find interesting?
  4. Which placement of your natal chart do you refer to the most?
  5. Which placement do you think doesn’t describe you at all?
  6. A placement in your chart you’re proud to have?
  7. A placement in your chart you would prefer to exclude?
  8. Your Dominant Sign-Planet-Element?
  9. Your least dominant Sign-Planet-Element?
  10. How long did your longest relationship last? (*)
  11. Name your longest partner’s placements!
  12. From 1-10, how emotional are you?
  13. Have you even felt the pain of a heartbreak in your chest? (*)
  14. What’s your favourite movie/book genre? (multiple answers possible)
  15. What’s your favourite music genre/your favourite band/musician?  (multiple answers possible)
  16. Your hobby?  (multiple answers possible)
  17. From 1-10, how close are you to your family? (*)
  18. Name your best friend’s (or any person you trust the most) placements!
  19. Your gender & sexuality? (*)
  20. From 1-10 how strong is your libido? (*)
  21. Your favourite sun sign? Tell me about the good experience with them.
  22. Your least favourite sun sign? Tell me about the bad experience with them.
  23. Describe your features a little.
  24. List all of your houses and which signs they are in!
  25. Do you have any planets in retrograde?
  26. From 1-10 how social are you? (means: do you easily get into contact with strangers?)
  27. Your personality type? (E/I-S/N-T/F-J/P)
  28. Red or blue?
  29. Fast or slow?
  30. Find or lose?
  31. Coffee or tea?
  32. Reality or drama?
  33. Mint or cinnamon?

Hi there, lovely people! Those who follow my blog for a while already, know that the main point of it is to base the placements’ descriptions on actual examples, to go against all the stereotypes if they are wrong. I would ask you to help me out with this, especially if you’re annoyed by how people see your sign, this is your chance to change their mind! Please answer this questionnaire & reblog so that more people can join us and I could have more examples of your personalities. Questions marked as (*) are very personal, you don’t have to answer them if you don’t feel like it, or you can send it to me in private (I will open my inbox for everyone). 

Your cooperation will help me so much to make my blog better for you & escape biased astrology posts about your sign!

Thank you so much for joining!💋

anonymous asked:

Hi Mary. What do you make of people calling Sarah J Maas' books problematic? I'm new to her works tbh

Hey Nonnie! <3

They’re 100% right. Her books ARE problematic. They’re heavily heterosexual, lack diversity (even though she’s tried including more diversity, but usually it’s background characters or it’s badly handled - see her killing off WoC to further the white characters’ story), she feels the need to pair up all her characters and these relationships often contain what can be considered toxic masculinity, the story in Throne of Glass has gone in a direction I’m not particularly fond of, not to mention that a lot of readers have found the inclusion of rather graphic sex scenes not okay in ToG, which is still marketed as YA. 

I agree with most of the points they make. But I will also admit that I am trash for her books, especially her ACOTAR series - which I kind of think is my all time favourite series and is, imo, better than ToG - better written, better thought out, with a better story altogether. I’ve kind of fallen out of love with ToG, but I still consider Heir of Fire one of her best books. I’ll still read the end of the series, though.

I may be a bad person for loving her books, but I’ve been with them from the beginning. I acknowledge all the issues and agree with them. But I have a soft spot for her stories.

Hugs! <3

I wanted to make it clear that she would stand up for herself and she would give it back to him and they really are in a relationship where the two kind of spar and fight and also kid and express some tenderness for each other. I didn’t want her to be just what she appears to be from Batman’s perspective which is the henchman saying ‘Yes Mr J’ and following along blindly as part of the gag. It makes them seem as if they’re in a bit more of a real relationship. One of my favourite things we came up with is when they’re just settling down for the night and Joker just says whats in his heart to Harley and actually expresses emotion towards her. But at the same time he’s talking about how he feels and about his perceptions, not really talking about what she wants. And he looks over and shes fast asleep. Shes always wanted to hear him stay stuff like that. But what does he do? He just tucks her into bed. And if anything he just goes ‘Well I was going to tell her some important things but she fell asleep… So the jokes on me’
—  Paul Dini 
Ketchup (Adventure Time)

It’s definitely been a while, since we’ve had an episode with both Marceline and BMO interacting with each other, hasn’t it?

Not only is this episode interesting in that we haven’t seen the two characters talk to each other in a while, but this is officially the 2nd episode that features guest-animation by “Alex Butera & Lindsay Small”, who are known for creating the web cartoon series called “Baman Piderman”, in which are a parody of crudely drawn shorts featuring Batman & Spider-Man.

The first episode that Lindsay & Alex guest-animated was the Season 7 episode called “Beyond the Grotto” which featured 7 minutes of their animation, while still being written by the AT crew.

This episode has much more animation by them and is still written by AT veterans, Seo Kim & Somvilay Xayaphone and they managed to deliver another fantastic episode that is funny, adorable and emotional, all at the same time!

The episode begins with BMO dropping by Marceline’s house trying to take down vampires, but Marceline tells them that happened 6 months ago and she tells BMO to look at an old USB drive she found, which BMO says will take a while to load.

While they wait for the USB to download, BMO tells Marcy the story of when Finn, Jake and it travelled through the sea, but says it involved a cat and a blue jay, which was guest voiced by none other than the creator of Regular Show, “J.G. Quintel”, who also voices a certain blue jay in that show!

Marceline then tells the story that happened during the events of the previous miniseries, that involved “Rock Star Girl” and “Lollipop Girl”, in which they tried to save each other from the magic, but couldn’t help each other, in which made Rock Star Girl sad that she couldn’t help Lollipop Girl.

The USB ends up downloading and we get to see photos of young Marceline with her mother.

Marceline gets very sad and asks BMO to tell a story about a child and the moon, which Marcy then thanks BMO for telling her, as it starts to make her remember the times she spent with her mom.

This episode had a great mix of comedy and drama!

The guest-animation by the Baman Piderman creators was very solid, just like how it was in Beyond the Grotto and really suits the style of Adventure Time.

Their squiggly art always reminds of another classic CN series, being Ed, Edd n Eddy, in which that show was all kinds of comedy and expressive animation.

Not to completely ignore all the other guest-animated AT episodes, but all of the other episodes were also written by the guest animator and A Glitch is a Glitch, Food Chain and Bad Jubies are all very enjoyable as their own unique episodes!

The only one I just thought was pretty weak and not really that fun was Water Park Prank and that one just had a style that didn’t suit the world of Ooo or characters of the show.

To get back onto Ketchup, I really loved the humor of how both BMO and Marcy exaggerate their recaps of the previous events of the show and it serves as how you do a flashback episode, done right, without the need of recycling footage, in which a lot of shows would do.

Another great example of a recap / flashback episode would be Avatar’s Ember Island Players, in which the characters see a reenactment of what happened during the course of the show, which I think was one of the best uses of a re-telling of past events.

One of my favourite jokes was how the blue jay in BMO’s story was a direct reference to Regular Show, which was another fantastic series that premiered the same year as Adventure Time, only it has now come to its end.

It even starts to quote Mordecai, which is another great nod to J. G. Quintel’s voice!

It’s great to see more Bubbline shipping come into this episode and how close Marceline feels to Bonnie, even if it meant trying to save her from the elemental magic.

The ending of the episode is what truly stands out and I hope we get to see Marcy’s mother, one last time before the end of the series.

With one episode we know called “Marcy and Hunson”, I’m sure we’ll get to have more episode  or more focusing on Marceline’s parents before the grand finale.

I just really want to hear Rebecca Sugar’s lovely voice, from when she voiced Marcy’s mother in Stakes.

And speaking of Stakes, I’m actually surprised that the events of the Stakes miniseries only occurred just 6 months ago, according to Marceline. 

Even though the episodes aired like two years ago, it just bothers me how Cartoon Network only airs these episodes at such random and extended periods of times, so it feels like time has passed much longer than in the actual timeline of the series.

It just pains me how CN treated this series, that has such a big following and critical praise.

A solid episode, with a heartfelt ending! I hope this isn’t the last we see of Marceline and her mother.

See these two people here? They are Dr. Patrick Turner and Sister Bernadette (or, as they come to be called at the end of season 2, Shelagh Turner and Dr. Patrick Turner) from the TV-series Call the midwife, played by the amazing Stephen McGann and Laura Main. This series is set in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s in East-London, a.k.a. the poor part. It follows a group of nuns and midwives who provide care to the people who live there. Now, I could go on and on about why Call the midwife is probably my favourite TV-series of all time, but one of the main reason is because of these two. They are great characters on their own: they are friendly, loving, selfless, capable, intelligent and sensitive, but when you put them together, they enhance each other. There are also several reasons why I love Turnadette’s (which is this ship’s name) relationship, which I’m going to list with bullet points (I also love bullet points J)

-          Their relationship start out as forbidden. I mean, Sister Bernadette is a nun and this is the 1950’s. This doesn’t mean it is some kind of smouldering romance precisely because Sister Bernadette is a forbidden fruit, on the contrary: Dr. Turner and Sister Bernadette have known each other for years before they start to develop romantic feelings for each other, and when they do, they are very respectful and distant.

-          This leads to my next point: they originally bonded over their work, but especially over Dr. Turner’s young son, Timothy. Patrick, a widower, was concerned about his son growing up without a mother and expressed these concerns to Sister Bernadette, who had lost her own mother as a young child. As a consequence, she started to look out for Timothy more and more, which meant that she and Patrick saw a lot more of each other and could develop a bond that went further than their profession. However, it was not only her love for Patrick and Timothy that spurred Sister Bernadette to stop being a nun and become Shelagh Turner: during the first season, we already had quite a lot of hints that she wasn’t really happy as a nun. To summarise my first two points: Shelagh and Patrick bonded because of their love for a child and it wasn’t just their love that caused Shelagh to make such a radical lifestyle change.

-          During their courtship (in which Sister Bernadette had to decide what she really wanted) Patrick behaved so respectfully. When he kisses her hand and she turns away, he immediately apologises and tells her that what he has done is unforgivable and that it will never happen again. Sister Bernadette basically tells him that she loves him, too, but that things are rather complicated with her being a nun and thus having a relationship with God. Patrick literally says that, if he could not respect that, he did not deserve to live. Can we have a hallelujah for this man? I mean, this is an age were sexism is rampant, yet this man totally respects the woman he is in love with, apologises when he touches her without permission (and definitely means it) and gives her all the time and space she needs to decide what she wants.

-          However, when Shelagh decided to become Dr. Turner’s wife, it didn’t mean that everything was easy. She and Dr. Turner had a very clear idea of the other person’s character and totally loved each other, but they had to learn more about each other’s past as well as to communicate, which was something that they weren’t allowed to do during their rather unusual courtship. Ergo, their relationship needed work and actually went through quite some rough periods.

I guess that my main reason for doting on these two so much is because of one keyword: RESPECT. I often find fiction (especially in the wake of books such as Twilight and Fifty shades of Grey) lacking in this department, which is why I find it utterly refreshing to see this relationship that, even though it isn’t infallible and had to grow, comes pretty darn close to being perfect.

Jon and Sansa thoughts

Just wanted to share my jumble of thoughts on my two favourite characters and maybe a crazy theory or two.

So least season, when R+L=J came to light, I had a little aha moment. I read the books after I started watching the show, but during the course of reading them it stood out pretty obviously to me that Sansa longed for a “true hero” and that Jon was the only one in the book who fit that description. Of course I was like “Huh, too bad he’s her brother” and didn’t think much else of it until last season, after which I was convinced that they were endgame.

(This got a little long, so more under the cut)

Keep reading


So I’ve had a few questions in the past asking how I colour my pictures and I’ve FINALLY got my ass into gear to create this post showing how. I’m pretty sure those with better equipment and more experience with digital may well cringe at my technique, but I sadly have to make do with what I’ve got and, at the very least, it gets the job done.

The example I’m using for this is my Phantom of the Opera Batjokes pic which can be seen properly here

1. So the program I use is GIMP. If you’ve not heard of it, it’s free art software that works like a basic version of programs such as Photoshop and can be downloaded online to pretty much any computer.

Once shaded, the drawing is scanned and opened up in GIMP. Now for this picture there is a lot of black and it looks messy as Hell and once upon a time I would’ve coloured all the black in with pencil but, to be honest, its just easier to colour the black in digitally and it saves my poor little 4B pencils from having to work quite so hard.

2. I'm very particular with the order of how I draw my pictures and colouring is no different. The first thing I colour is always the skin and it’s literally a case of putting the opacity level down pretty low and then just colouring over the section. It’s basic but it works :D

If I want a picture to be particularly vibrant I’ll adjust the opacity but generally I stick with keeping it quite low so the detail of the shading underneath isn’t lost.

3. Then it’s on to the Batsuit, which is usually coloured a pretty blue, because it fits in with the comics pretty well and I just like the way it looks, really. Of course my main go to reference for the suit is from The Dark Knight because I just frikkin love that Batsuit! Although, for this picture I’ve made the nose of the cowl more pointy because I thought it would fit in with the period feel more.

4. Now for Joker, it’s actually kinda hard to see any colour on there, but if you look carefully between this pic and the previous one you’ll see a difference:

The reason I use the turquoise for his skin is because with everything else coloured in, his skin kinda looks dull and lifeless if left untouched. But the hint of colour gives it a nice almost metallic effect that I really like. Of course the opacity is extremely low, because anything more would leave him looking like a Smurf and I think even J would struggle to pull off that look!

5. Now it’s on to the hair and eyebrows for J. I don’t have a set green I use, it differs depending on the kind of J I’m using and pretty much how I feel at the time. I do often go more towards the bluish hint with the greens though, cos dat purdy.

With the hair it’s usually one layer of colour, before highlighting a few strands just to make them stand out more. I don't often make the eyebrows as vibrant as the hair because it’s a bit much for the face otherwise.

6. And now one of my favourite bits to do! J has messy make up in this pic (which I always enjoy!) and instead of the normal paintbrush tool I use for everything else, I go for the airbrush one, just to make the smudged lipstick more realistic and to keep the edges soft.

For his eyes, they’re green but I add yellow highlights to make the green seem more acidic, cos J’s eyes ain’t just any ol’ green!

7. And then it’s colouring in J’s suit and, yeah, he may be the Phantom, but he still likes purple! It’s exactly the same process as the rest, just slapping the colour over the top.

8. So, with all the colouring done, it’s time to adjust the contrast and shading. I use the burn tool for that and just generally go over the entire picture two or three times until I think it looks right.

9. And then I fill in all the black sections…

10. …before colouring in the background and then using the burn tool again just to go over any parts that I think need a little extra adjustment, mainly around the eyes and the hair, just picking up the shadows that need to be a little bit darker.

11. Aaaaaaand we finally get to this! The finished product!

I’m just gonna take a moment to squee over how happy I am with the mask! I was worried at first, but after shading it looks ok woohoo! 

So I hope that was interesting and now you finally know all my arty secrets! (They’re absolutely not all that secret and pretty simple and basic but *shrugs*). If there is anything else you wanna know feel free to ask and as always thank you, thank you, thank you for all the support and kindness, it means the world to me. Y'all gorgeous!!!!


artistsapprentice  asked:

If you're taking requests, can you please do a myth about one of the primordial Greek gods, like Nyx?

I absolutely can, although maybe not Nyx, as she’s not often the central character in the surviving myths we have, which honestly does not do justice to her role as namesake of my favourite makeup brand. Instead, I have written about the births of Kronos and Zeus, because Nyx makes a fleeting appearance and also most of the gods are primordial (primordial douchebags, am I right? I’m totally right.)

If you don’t fancy reading about nubile oiled men, the importance of good table manners, and the origins of Wolverine from X-Men, feel free to skip by pressing J on your keyboard. Extra context and literary stuff under the cut, as always!

And the Father of the Year Award Goes to Absolutely No-one

Before the world came to be, there was something. We’ll call it Chaos, because that’s what it was called, but it wasn’t like, chaos chaos, like when you’re running late for work and the toaster starts ballsing up and then suddenly the cat’s puking into your shoes and your mother’s phoning to tell you that your father is actually your uncle. It was more of a chasm, like a kind of tangible nothingness, made up of the elements of everything which would later become actual stuff, like the sea and the sky and sprouts, which actually sounds kind of rad, except there was no-one there to appreciate just how poetic it all was.

Except one day, something just kind of happens, and suddenly there’s someone there, and her name is Gaea, and she is the Earth. Like, literally. She is what we would now recognise as a planet. Which is fine. Real women have curves, etc.

Now, at this point, Gaea is just kind of hanging around by herself, when along comes Tartarus, who is the primordial divine personification of a realm of eternal torture and pain and is probably really shit at parties, and Gaea decides that Tartarus isn’t really the ideal best friend. She really can’t imagine having slumber parties with Tartarus and braiding each other’s hair over all the haunting wails of the dead. She’s kind of happy to have company, but being stuck with Tartarus is sort of like when you turn up late to a party and have to hang around by yourself for a while until some white guy with dreads shows up and starts talking about capitalism; it’s slightly better than loneliness, but not much, and also it makes you want to drink more.

So, one day she’s like “it’s kind of lonely here in the middle of nowhere with only a torturous realm for company, this is like living in Wales and frankly I won’t stand for it,” and then bam, she’s not alone anymore, because the void has spat out a new companion and this exceptionally hot dude is standing there, and he’s butt-naked and all toned and curved and probably oiled, because this myth is from Ancient Greece, and Gaea is like “holy buttocks, who in Chaos are you?” and the beautiful man just sighs wearily and says “I’m Eros, and I’m literally here for the sole purpose of making people want to do unspeakable things to one another.” Gaea pseudo-frowns and she’s like “what kind of unspeakable things, because if you mean relentless murder and ceaseless slaughter, then honestly, I think that’s just in my blood, I’m an Ancient Greek deity,” and Eros is like “have you ever wanted to just lie someone down and cover them in chocolate sauce?” and Gaea metaphorically wrinkles her proverbial nose and she’s like “no, that sounds unsanitary and also I’m a planet,” and then Eros clicks his fingers and says “how about now?” and Gaea does this weird little shiver thing, probably dislodging mountains and causing tectonic plates to collide like bodies on a dancefloor, and she’s like “do that again,” and Eros takes a few steps back and he’s all “no offence, but I’m the only other guy here, and I’m really more of a peanut butter guy myself.”

Then Gaea is like “as fantastic as those few moments of delight were, what’s the actual point? Like, why is it so important that people get the urge to do unspeakable things to each other up against barnyard doors? I mean, we were both just sort of born out of the ether with no need for body parts rubbing and touching in any pleasing way whatsoever, so why can’t things just carry on like that? What’s the need for the horizontal tango?” and Eros just shrugs and waves his sculpted arms a bit and says “plot holes, no pun intended.”

After a while, other things start to appear, like night (Nyx) and day (Hemera) and the realm of eternal, unflinching darkness, known as Erebos, and eventually Gaea just gets tired of having all these things floating around her like One Direction fans outside an arena, and so she does the only thing she can do, seeing as privacy screens haven’t been invented yet, and she gives birth to the sky and uses it as a makeshift veil. The sky’s name is Uranus, and, as it turns out, he’s virile as hell, because pretty soon he’s impregnated Gaea, and she gives birth to Oceanus, who is the divine personification of the sea, which means he’s totally wet and basically hates conflict, and then she gives birth to Kronos. Like his brother Oceanus, he’s a Titan, which means that he is part of the race of elder gods, along with their older siblings, including Thea, Rhea, Hyperion and Iapetos, among others, because condoms haven’t been invented yet, and let’s be honest, Uranus is totally the kind of guy who’d pretend that he couldn’t use them for reasons of girth.

Then, because this family isn’t fucked up enough already, Gaea gives birth to three giant monsters, the Hecatoncheires, who all have a hundred hands and fifty heads and can also control storms, which makes me wonder why they cast Halle Berry in X-Men and not just a hideous CGI conglomerate, and then she (Gaea, not Halle Berry) gives birth to three more monsters, each with one eye, called the Cyclopes. When Uranus sees his six new beautiful children, he’s all “wow, those came out of you? They must take after your side of the family,” and Gaea says “technically, you ARE my side of the family, sonsband,” and Uranus is like “shit, yeah, this is probably why incest is frowned upon, isn’t it? Anyway, I think you should just put them all back, to be honest,” and Gaea is like “what do you mean ‘put them all back’?” and Uranus is like “well, you know, back up the ol’ pipe,” and Gaea is like “say ‘pipe’ one more time and I’ll shove something up yours,” nobly resisting the urge to make a pun on his name, but Uranus is like “sorry, can’t hear you, I’m too busy shoving these gigantic monster children back into your womb,” and he’s not even lying.

Obviously, this causes Gaea some Problems, and so she decides that maybe it’s time to get rid of Uranus. When he’s asleep, probably dreaming about changing his name by deed poll, she gathers together all of her children – the ones who aren’t currently rolling around in her uterus, anyway – and she’s all “look, I’m going to level with you here. Your father is a dick. I could do so much better. I deserve Ryan Gosling, not some dude who thinks it’s OK to use my birth canal as a storage locker. I need your help, kids,” and then she takes out this absolutely massive sickle, and she says “this sickle is made of adamant, which is a radical new element that I made for this specific purpose. It’s stronger than Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson after a meal of spinach, and without meaning to blow my own trumpet, it really is the goddamn poodle’s privates. Like, if I were to create my own super powered mutant soldier, I’d probably coat his bones with this shit and maybe make him some awesome claws of the same stuff, because this? This stuff is nearly unbreakable. It’s totally fit for purpose,” and then her kids are like “by ‘purpose’, do you mean that you want us to use that sickle on our father?” and Gaea nods sagely and she’s like “I want you to use it all over him,” and her kids confer with one another, drawing some diagrams and making detailed notes, and then they turn back to her and say in unison “nope.”

Except they don’t say it completely in unison, because Kronos, the youngest of her Titan children, pipes up like “I know what needs to be done, grandma-mother,” and Gaea says “do you?” and Kronos nods and says “I do. I know exactly what you want me to do, 100%. I understand your plan completely. I volunteer,” and Gaea places her hand firmly on Kronos’ shoulder and grins and she’s like “grandson-son, let us put our shared plan into action,” and Kronos takes the sickle and he’s like “you can count on me, grandma-mother, I won’t let you down,” and Gaea probably just groans a bit because she’s still full of monster children.

Later that night, Uranus comes over to Gaea for a night of nocturnal naughtiness, and he’s about to cock his leg in a jaunty and arousing manner and be like “let us kiss with tongues, mother-wife,” when he hears this battle cry from behind him, and before he can turn around to see what the fuck is going on, Kronos has leapt on him with this massive sickle, and then Kronos raises the sickle above his big Titan head and brings it down in a swooping arc, right on Uranus’ dick. Like, that’s it. He just cuts it clean off, severing it right at the base, then throws it over his shoulder like salt in the Devil’s face, and Uranus just starts sobbing and says “for a Titan, that really wasn’t tight at all. I knew that having kids would be difficult, but this just absolutely takes the proverbial biscuit,” and he leaves, because there’s not a lot else he can do, really.

When he’s gone, Gaea turns to Kronos and she’s just like “you cut his dick off?” and Kronos nods proudly and says “our plan has come to fruition, mother,” and Gaea rolls her eyes and she’s like “I was thinking more along the lines of ruthless patricide, but I guess your idea also worked,” and Kronos wrinkles his nose and he’s all “what kind of monster would kill their own father? Balls or no balls, I still need the old guy to teach me how to throw a ball, y’know,” and Gaea just rolls her eyes and she’s about to make some remark about how a good father probably wouldn’t shove his kids back inside their mother, when Uranus’ testicles, which have landed in the sea, start to foam, and from the dick foam this beautiful woman emerges, and she’s like “I need two things. Firstly, I need a bath, because honestly, natural childbirth has absolutely nothing on what just happened to me, and secondly, I need a dry martini and a nubile young man,” and Gaea is all “literally who the fuck are you?” and the woman is like “I’m Aphrodite, and I really want to just reiterate that I’m covered in dick foam, so can we keep this conversation as brief as possible, like three seconds max” and Kronos is like “go to Cyprus, there are baths there beyond your wildest dreams,” and Aphrodite goes to Cyprus and presumably bathes in bleach for about three years.

Meanwhile, Uranus, hiding away in shame and anger, mutters under his breath something very sinister, something along the lines of “I hereby prophesy that the end of the Titans shall fall very soon, as they are overthrown by their own treacherous children and punished for their sins, signed Uranus xoxo.”

A whole bunch of time passes, and honestly, what happens next is incredibly complicated and involves more birth scenes than a director’s cut of Alien, but in a nutshell, a whole bunch of gods book a hotel room with each other, producing generations of gods, nymphs and other creatures. Kronos himself marries Rhea, his sister, and the two of them have a whole bunch of children, including Hestia, Demeter, Hera, Poseidon and Hades. Now, you’d think that Kronos, having seen the effect that bad parenting can have on a marriage and indeed a penis, might be a better father to his own kids than Uranus had been to him. You would be wrong. In fact, Kronos takes fatherhood to new lows. Having heard Uranus’ prophecy that he is fated to be overthrown by his own son, Kronos takes a leaf out of his father’s book and decides that the best place for his children is inside their parent. However, unlike Uranus, Kronos doesn’t put them back inside their mother; presumably remembering how THAT had turned out, he puts them inside himself instead, and swallows them whole, barely even tasting them. Honestly, I’m not sure why he didn’t chew them first, but whatever. He doesn’t.

After her brother-husband has eaten five of her children, Rhea begins to get a bit fed up (and honestly, why it took five attempts for her to get sick of this shit, I also have no idea; clearly, neither of them are Parent of the Year). So, when she becomes pregnant for the sixth time, she finds her mother-mother-in-law, Gaea, and she’s like “look, I know that Kronos was always your favourite son because of the time he helped you chop off dad’s dick, but now Kronos is BEING a dick, and I need your help,” and Gaea is like “Kronos stopped being my favourite child the moment he copied his dad and internalised his children. If only he could have taken after his mother more, and been awesome and totally opposed to infanticide. Well, I’ll tell you what; that son you’re carrying is going to save you from a life of matrimonial fatigue, but you have to do a couple of things first,” and Rhea says “just tell me what to do,” and Gaea is like “you have to run away, give birth in a magic cave, and pretend that your son is a rock,” and Rhea just sighs and she’s like “honestly, my kids are probably better inside Kronos’ digestive tract and away from this family unit,” but she does what Gaea asks.

So, when Rhea has given birth to her son – whom she names Zeus, which is a name you may be familiar with – she finds a huge rock and swaddles it, dressing it in a fetching babygro with the motif ‘DADDY’S LITTLE FLESH CHILD, MUMMY’S LITTLE NOT-A-GEODE’ and hands it to Kronos. Kronos takes one look at the rock and says “this baby has my eyes, darling,” and then promptly swallows it whole, completely falling for the trick, believing that he’s swallowed his fifth child. Rhea, presumably wondering if Kronos and the rock have more in common than she first thought, goes off to raise her baby in secret.

After a while, yet more time passes and Zeus grows up into an absolutely strapping young god, all bearded and muscled and, most importantly, not swilling around inside Kronos’ bowels, and Gaea is like “OK, grandson. The prophecy says that you will overthrow your father, so the first thing to do is to make him throw up,” and Zeus is like “why would I do that? When dad overthrew HIS dad, he got to use a phenomenal sickle, and I just get to use a bit of bad ham?” and Gaea says “firstly, you’re right, that sickle was fucking sick, and secondly, your father never chewed his food, and you have a few siblings who are probably very grateful for that, although honestly they’d be a tad less grateful if they’d ever had to sit opposite him at dinner, rather than inside him,” and so Zeus goes off to find Kronos.

When he finds him, he slips him an emetic herb, and Kronos immediately throws up his children, all covered in stomach slime but still alive and fully grown. Zeus is like “hey siblings, I’m Zeus, and honestly, I will never fully comprehend what you have been through, but I hope we can bond over this experience anyway,” and Hades is like “I think there’s a bit of partially digested carrot in my hair,” and Hera says “no, that’s just stomach lining, but you do have something unspeakable on your shoulder,” and Demeter says “thanks for saving us, Zeus, but dad looks super pissed that you just made him throw up his children,” and Kronos mutters “and that great bit of roast ham that I had for lunch.”

Zeus just shrugs and he’s like “well, there’s this prophecy which says that dad’s going to look defeat right in the face very soon and I’m going to be the one who puts it there, so honestly, I’m going to just let him have this one. I’d probably be angry too, if someone gave me a prophecy which told me that my child would overthrow me and I subsequently internalised that child for my own protection and suzerainty, only to have the child break free from my body somehow. Boy, that would really blow.“

Glaring at his family, just about managing to speak through his anger, Kronos snarls “you know what this means, son?” and Zeus sets his jaw into a rigid line, pushes his shoulders back so that his biceps look particularly rugged in his favourite white tank top, and then he digs into the pocket of his skinny black jeans and pops a tooth-pick into his mouth, chewing it with a pensive look on his face, and after a few tense seconds have passed, during which Kronos is just clenching his fists and trembling with unspent fury, Zeus says “yes, dad. This means war.”

My other retellings can be found here; my mythology blog is here; and my Mythology Mondays Facebook page is here. Thrilling.

(Keep reading link for mobile, as the app breaks the link)

Keep reading

(just ignore the shitty banner) I just reached 100 followers (yeah!), and i know that it might be not much to blogs with 3000 or more, but for me it’s something really big. I’m so happy right know( i’m literally dancing lol), i truly appreciate it that you all decided my blog is worth following and i’m so thankful for it♡♡♡

To celebrate this a little bit i thought i’d my first follow forever! Here are a few blogs and people that i absolutely admire and which you should definitely follow because they’re great and i love them
(mutuals are in bold, favourites are in italics)

a - f
@00250 @agnesteresa @alloftheimaginesblog @bloodyrunner @bloodyshuckit-imagines @chovchang @dailygladers @dailypotterheads @dailywizarding @dxmbledoresarmy @emybrodies @evangelineimagine @fandomsforfree @felixfeliciswriter @fjrebolt @fitzwillamdarcy @fireheartfray @fuckyeahdylmas

g - j
@gladerfamily @gladers-imagines @gladergreenie @gingerglader@giraffingthetardis @howlingremus @hpdailyquoty @herrmiione @hufflepotters @imaginesofeveryfandom @imaginesheaven @imaginativefandom @imagines-all-day-everyday @incorrectmazerunner @incorrecttmrquotes @isaknewt @jilys @just-another-runner-in-the-maze @jamespottuh

k - r
@katiebells @keeper-of-the-builders @lilyevians@lilygrabharryandrun @lumox @magicfolk @my-world-of-pure-imagination @mazerunnerquote @mazerunnerstories @memoirs-of-a-glader @mildlynewt @merlinssbeard @mollyprewett @mxze-rxnner @newtdaily @newtandthediamonds @newtandaris @newtismyshank @newtismybloodyinspiration @newtmassciles @newtmqs @newts-cinnamon-roll-tbs @newtmos @newtpain @newtscarf @newmasdylmas @nargles @narcsisa @newtscorched @ninazcneik @obscuriel @owvlery @oblviqte @puveblood @parqinson @quibblernetwork @randomfandomimagine @randomfanfictiontime @ri-ddikulus @regulusblqck

s - y
@stuck-to-tmr-coz-newt @shuckinggreenies @sangstershank @saint-potter @siriusblsck @subject-a0 @subjecta2-fanvergentfangirl @shdandan96 @teresascrankbride @tmrs-shorts @thenewtler @thefandomrunner @thegladernewty@timeship @tommynewtie @v-writings @vernondursley @violetbaudelxire @weasley-imagines @wanhaeda @weascleys @wickedshank @yourkeeperoftherunners

Joker Imagine - ignorant

Anonymous said:Could you do a imagine where the joker hasn’t been paying a lot of attention to you and someone guy becomes obsessed with you making joker get jealous and overprotective

Originally posted by mysparklinginsanity

Your P.O.V.

 J was sitting in his office with Frost and a new businessman I hadn’t seen before. They were planning something that I wasn’t allowed to know anything about which sucked because I was bored. He had been literally ignoring me for the past few days and I hated it. So since it was night I got dressed in a short sexy dress, I made myself pretty and left the penthouse with my favourite golden heels that matched the black dress. J could stay in alone since he obviously managed well without me.

It took a couple minutes the reach a club that was packed with people. I was allowed to the VIP area since I was J’s girl and that made me happy. I managed to take one drink until I noticed that some guy was watching me. First I thought he was just checking me out, but he was literally just staring at me. The guy had black clothes and sunglasses on. I could only see his mouth and his brown hair.

Well I could protect myself so I didn’t think too much about it. Some girls were dancing on the dance floor and I just randomly joined them, hoping that they wouldn’t run off. I felt free and I really swung my hips along the loud the music, feeling so happy for a change. The girls were blinded by the lights and alcohol so they accepted me into their little group and we were dancing like wild animals.

But then the stalker came closer. He took photos of me and made me a little uncomfortable .What the fuck was wrong with that guy

‘’Come on girl! You should step up!’’ One of the girls I danced with poked my back and nodded at the small stage where we had dance offs. It was empty and the lights shone on it. Yes! So I chirped happily and climbed on the stage, feeling dozens of eyes on me. Another girl with a red dress climbed to the stage and we stepped into the transparent booth to dance. She’ll regret this so much.

                             A few days later I was just casually making something to eat in the penthouse. Ever since I saw this guy at the club, he had been following me around Gotham. Next time I’d kill him. The worst thing was that J had been so busy with his criminal job that he kept ignoring me. He hadn’t even had sex for two weeks which was strange. So I hadn’t bothered him by telling him about the stalker. It’s like the guy was obsessed with me. He always took photos and the next second he was gone. It really started to creep me out.

What if he was watching me right now?

The doorbell rang and I sighed. I left the bread on the table and hurried to go and check who dared to come up to the penthouse. As I opened the door, I saw no one there. Instead I saw a box of the ground. It was blue. I checked the hallway and even the elevator until I grabbed it and took it inside. I looked at the small box curiously as I headed back to the kitchen. It gave me a bad feeling in my gut. 

I placed it on the kitchen island and opened it carefully. I saw polaroid photos and a letter. I picked one up and felt disgusted when I saw what the photos were.

They were all of me.

I gulped as I looked through the photos that had been taken secretly. One had even been taken of me in a public bathroom where I added more lipstick on. My hands started trembling and I didn’t even dare to open the letter. I had to tell J. Hopefully he wouldn’t find me lame, but I was scared.

Nervously I knocked on his brown office door and waited until someone opened it. Frost stood in front of me and I just walked in without asking. J gave me an angry glare and his businessmen shut up. ‘’Y/N what’s so important that you have to interrupt this?’’ He sighed and leaned his head in his hand tiredly. His fingers were in his green hair and I knew he was pissed.

‘’There’s something you should see’’I  tried to tell him as calmly as I could. ‘’Yeah yeah..I’ll be there later’’ He muttered  and tried to get back to the meeting. His ignorance was kinda pissing me off now. ‘’No. You’re coming now’’ I growled and kept a straight face. His icy eyes looked at me angrily and he hated that I talked to him like this in front of those guys.

He stood up and walked to me with a dark look. ‘’I’ll be there soon’’ He excused himself and yanked me out of his office. I mumbled in pain but he forced me to follow him to the hall. ‘’What the fuck was that?’’ He whisper-yelled in my face with hatred in his eyes. My body started to tremble because I had been holding so many things in. ‘’Someone’s stalking me J..He follows me everywhere and now I got a box of photos of me and a letter’’ I spilled it out with a small voice.The anger faded from his eyes and I could see that he grew a little worried.

‘’How long has this been going on?’’ He asked me and then followed me to the kitchen. ‘’I don’t know..a few days’’ I let him know and then let him take a look at the box. He opened the letter and I waited anxiously as he read it. His grip on the paper got tighter and he clenched his jaw, letting me know it made him angry again.

‘’Who the fuck is this guy?’’ He growled and threw the letter on the floor. I shrugged nervously because I didn’t know. ‘’You’re mine..Damn Y/N. Did you read that?’’ He asked me and pointed at the white letter. ‘’No..’’ I whispered and suddenly felt a tear stinging my eyes. I couldn’t let them fall now.

‘’Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’’ He questioned me while looking through the photos. His irises were large and he was breathing raspily. He was obviously holding himself back from going out and shooting whoever he saw. ‘’I thought you wouldn’t care’’ I admitted quietly and rubbed my knee nervously. J turned to look at me silently. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.

‘’Well of course I care..’’ He started, but I cut him off. ‘’No. You’ve been ignoring me for the past two weeks J! This stalker has given me more attention than you’’ I spat a little angrily and stood up. His red lips parted and he seemed surprised at my outburst. ‘’Hey that’s not cool doll. You know you’re my girl, right?’’ He groaned and then walked closer to me. He seemed jealous. I just crossed my arms and bit my cheek so I would shut up.

‘’I won’t let that idiot hurt you. We’ll find out who it is and kill him, okay?’’ He tried to make a deal. Our eyes met and something about him made my heart swell. ‘’Fine’’ I sighed and then hugged him. J wasn’t usually the type of guy to hug, but he hugged me back. His scent made me feel home and safe. His arms held me so tightly, yet gently that I was allowed to relax a bit. ‘’I won’t let anyone hurt my princess’’ 


You’re Still There

Visions of yesteryear
swim back to me in moments
like these, when the night
is deep within those hours
where only the occasional
night shift worker, criminal
or moonlighting cat is awake –

Sometimes, I can even swear
that I see your form in
the bundled up duvet, can
see the impression of
your head in my pillows.

Many things which I surround
myself with remind me of you
I still even have your
favourite scent – Funny how
it’s still my favourite
and when I wear it I swear
I can smell both of us again
and it’s like you never left.

© R.J. Davey 2017

Foster the People interview: 'This record had its own pressure'

About halfway through “Loyal Like Sid & Nancy”, singer Mark Foster segues into a spoken-word piece that recalls Gene Wilder’s memorable lines in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, complete with that ominous bassline running beneath it.

It’s one of many moments that should surprise fans who listened to Foster the People’s first two records. Sacred Hearts Club is an album by a band who seem to have finally broken away from the trappings of what people think they are.

They’re in London for the Somerset House series, and Foster – who has a fresh tattoo on his arm – and keyboardist Isom Innis, who joined the band as an official member this year after touring with them since 2010 (“it feels exactly the same”) are detailing how the album came together.

“We were totally referencing that [moment in the film],” Foster nods. “Actually there was a different variation of the lyrics… so the beat dropped and we actually did this…”

He starts to sing: “A world of pure imagination, take a look, and you’ll see/into your imagination…” And then the beat came back in, “duh duh dom”, and there was this instrumental string thing. We played with it for a few days then ended up scrapping it.

“It’s been interesting, making this record,” he continues. “We started working on it at the end of the Supermodel tour. When we’d catch a few weeks off me and Isom [Innis] would go into a studio in LA or wherever we were and just start writing. And when we finally ended the tour for that, for the first year we just wrote as much as possible. Verse chorus vibe was kind of our rule.”

By the end of that year the band had about 100 ideas to choose from, and the record had begun to take shape – with plenty of twists and turns along the way. What began with a 60s psychedelic influence transitioned to something altogether more “weird”, which Foster credits to Innis’ skills as a beatmaker.

“On ‘Sid & Nancy’ it was originally this atonal kind of beat that you hear in the verses, like an atonal dance track,” Innis exlains. “Mark took it in the studio, added a chord progression, arranged a song that was really meant to be in the dance world. And that’s when it started to transform.”

Members of the band are split between LA and Nashville, which seem to have overtaken New York as the creative hubs of America, where artists from the US, the UK and everywhere in-between are forming their own communities.

“I think you can have a more comfortable life as a musician there, in terms of having your gear and moving around,” Innis suggests. “I lived in Boston for four or five years and would commute to New York to play gigs. New York City became so expensive, all the recording studios started shutting down because they couldn’t afford rent anymore…”

“I moved to LA when I was 18 and it was a piece of s*** city,” Foster says. “It was terrible. You had the weather and the ocean which were great, but it’s really developed in the last six or seven years.”

For Foster the People, LA has been “a very generous muse, for a long time”. You can hear it on Supermodel, this sort of wry, suspicious look at artificial beauty. But the band have widened their gaze, and Sacred Hearts Club is a more critical look at global issues that Foster would see every morning when he turned on the news.

“For the past two years I felt like I’ve woken up and something has happened that is tragic,” he says. “A bombing, a terrorist thing, refugee crisis, the political situation with Trump, with the DNC leaks, watching what happened with Brexit and seeing nationalism rise around the world, racism, homophobia… All these things I thought we were evolving past as humans seem to have come back in full force.

"It was an interesting narrative, walking into the studio with that being on my shoulders from that morning. And for us it was really important, it became clear that as artists we wanted to make something that was joyful and unifying, and remind people that life is still beautiful. Supermodel is very pointed, politically, because I feel like we were pretty apathetic and living in a bubble.

"The world seemed in some way pretty comfortable, it didn’t really care what was going on in other places, and that record was very much like… I wanted to slap people a little bit, throw some cold water on them. This record, it would have felt wrong to do that. I felt like people needed a hug.”

After Trump won the election, explicit statements from artists were released in full force; artists who were angry at the world they lived in, at the people making the decisions, and perhaps also at themselves for not speaking out sooner.

“Look, I was fighting like hell before the election, to try and get people to vote against him,” Foster says. “But after he got elected, I started to realise that I really wanted to unite people. That political race was so polarising, these two extreme factions seemed more divided and more volatile against each other than ever. The last thing I wanted to do was add gasoline to that fire.”

While there was plenty to say on the record, the band maintained a strong level of self-discipline. Some of the songs started out at seven-10 minutes; the outro on the closing track used to be much longer.

“I’m really glad we cut it down because we ended up sequencing it all for vinyl, to flow in one continuous listen,” Innis says. “That outro on the final track is one of my personal, favourite moments on the record.”

“We had that saying which was 'no stone left unturned’,” Foster adds “So we took the ideas in many different ways and there was this process of construction and deconstruction.”

Sacred Hearts Club brings in plenty more of the catchy-as-hell pop hooks that Foster is such a master of, but there are also plenty of nods to DIY punk and post-punk, dance, and hip hop.

“We’ve always loved to play in the grey areas between genres,” Innis says. “All of our favourite records do that. 2000’s Donuts, J Dilla - that’s like the manual of hip hop production. When you start making beats and writing, it comes out of your subconscious. You’re not sitting down necessarily to emulate a certain record, but you play this pattern and realise there are 10 different influences that caused it.”

“We wondered whether we wanted these different sounds we were creating to interact with one another… or to separate it,” Foster says. “And as we continued to write, the sounds started to come closer again, intersect in a way that felt like we wanted to put it on one record. The records that excite me the most are the ones that take me on a ride.”

“Growing up playing the drums I idolised Questlove from an early age,” Innis says. “Phrenology was the first Roots record that I ever heard, and that was like my introduction to hip hop. The first song on there is in the hip hop vein, and then track three is a blast beat, hardcore punk track, like an exclamation mark. If you look at that record, they’re all over the place, and it fits together so well. I’m about to be 30, and people around my age and younger were just used to playlists, putting Johnny Cash on the same mixtape as Jay Z - that’s where that comes from, I think.”

It’s an interesting point that few other artists have pointed out in interviews - that as much as we like to thank streaming for a younger generation’s adaptability at genre crossovers, it’s been going on for a little longer than that. There’s still that problem with attention spans, though, and how a band can keep fans interested when they’re constantly demanding something new. To sate their appetite, at least for a short while, Foster the People released an EP before Sacred Hearts Club as an aperitif, giving them a hint of what was to come.

“Even with Kendrick’s record Damn., when it dropped it was this incredible deep record,” Innis says. “And To Pimp A Butterfly, as well. A week later people were sniffing around like ‘what’s next?’. So with people’s attitudes to music today, it’s hard to sustain their attention.”

Perhaps this is partly why the end process for Sacred Hearts Club saw the band re-mastering the album another two times, after thinking that they were done.

“I don’t even know how it happened, but I’m so thankful that it did, because it doesn’t normally happen this way,” Foster says. “We have this ritual of getting together, pouring a drink and then sequencing each record. Then we’ll listen to it top to bottom, change a few things until it feels right. So we sequenced Sacred Hearts Club, and then halfway through I just had this sinking feeling come over me.

"I paused it and said ‘guys it’s not done. It’s too long, it’s bloated’. And luckily, our label and management talked separately about it afterwards and they agreed. We’d been working so hard to finish it… but to open that back up again, it was so painful.”

“More power to Mark, because I was ready. I was almost ready to say ‘we’re done, it’s mastered, it’s great’,” Innis says. “But he really pushed for us to go back. I think it took me a night to really think about it.”

“We added stuff like 'Orange Dream’, 'Time To Get Closer’, to tie things together,” Foster explains. “We ended up cutting about five minutes. 'Pay the Man’ has a whole other verse that no one’s ever heard.”

On Supermodel he experimented with the way he wrote songs, making lyrics the priority. Before then, he would listen to the music, flip the mic on and then channel “whatever energy there was that day”.

“And after the initial response to a song, that was where a lot of the most pure ideas would come from,” he says. “It was like spiritual improvisation.

"Supermodel was way more methodical, and in some ways I think it has some of the best lyrics I ever wrote, but it doesn’t have the same life, or the cadence. So I kind of went back to how I was doing it before… or a mix of the two.”

“Those were some of my favourite moments in the recording process,” Innis says smiling, “when Mark would go in the booth and open up and just channel these vowels and certain words until all of a sudden something would come into the room. Like on the bridge for 'Doing It For The Money’, he was vamping and it was ‘silicon rush’. I don’t know where that came from.”

“This record, it had its own pressure on it,” Foster nods. “It was me and a creative kindred spirit locking ourselves in our own studio, with nobody in the room who could ‘contaminate the water’. No one who could put their hands on it and change it. We had absolute freedom and time to explore things and get weird and not judge it.

"It was a very non-judgemental process until the very end, and I think the last six months, at that point we put on a different hat that was more methodical. And I think learning from this process, it’s something that I would repeat again.”

Sacred Hearts Club, the new album from Foster the People, is out now via Columbia Records