I’m feeling burnt out
Ok, so I didn’t think I’d write anything about this until like two minutes ago when I had the realisation that this is actually a feeling I’m having. How did I realise? I’m halfway through my mid-sem break, and I have nowhere near completed half the things I need to, but I can’t bring myself to give a shit. Like actually. I know, objectively, that I care a lot about the things I’m supposed to be doing because I’ve been learning about super cool stuff and I think that I’ve found my passion within vet med (more on that later… maybe) but even when I think that I can focus on my favourite of favourite things to just get something done, I’d rather just play phone games. Which is not normal for me.
I don’t want to say that I am burnt out, for two reasons. 1) I feel like I’m very close to feeling as burnt out as humanly possible but I’m not actually there, so saying it like that would just drag me the rest of the way down and 2) I read/heard/saw (I can’t remember where… I just remember the thing, sorry) a thing that basically said that it’s more productive to phrase what you’re feeling as exactly that, a feeling. So instead of saying “I am angry” which makes that feeling in effect a piece of your identity, and very hard to step back from, you say “I’m feeling angry” so that you’re acknowledging it’s there, it’s a thing, but it’s not you. (It was a mindfulness workshop I did! It was that! Check out mindfulness, I didn’t like all of it but, as evidenced by this, I did find some of it helpful). That way you can work through it and just mentally it’s a lot easier to pull out of it.
Anywho, I’m writing this as a way of pulling myself out of it. I am acknowledging that I am feeling a bit burnt out, and I’m trying to work out how to rekindle that flame. I spent yesterday with friends, which helped quite a bit. These were friends from high school who I haven’t seen in a while, so instead of talking about vet we talked about light things like parties we’ve been to and people we didn’t like at high school, people we did like at high school, boys (or our distinct lack thereof), books, and movies etc etc etc. Then I spent far too much time on derm today (I do not enjoy derm. It pains me) and now I’ve slid back a bit, but tonight I’m bingeing Pride and Prejudice with my sister (the good one, with Colin Firth in it) so I’m hoping that that will remedy the derm effect and I’ll have a nice productive day tomorrow.
Not really sure where this went, but I hope that at the very least it was helpful to someone else who has been feeling this way to know that other people feel it too and this is how I’m dealing and moving forward. Because I guess that’s the big thing: moving forward.
In summary: Lizzie’s 3 steps in conquering burn out
1) Acknowledge the feeling, but know that it is separate to your identity
2) Binge Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth because a) Jane Austen and b) Colin Firth (or an equivalent of this that you like, I guess)
3) Keep going. You can do it.