in which gibbs is not stupid

10 Incorrect POTC5 quotes

—Posted from my Deviant account. I am so sorry…they just wouldn’t leave me alone…POTC belongs to Disney, the respectable quotes belong to their respectable owners, and you belong to you. Enjoy!


HENERY: Are you…drunk?

JACK: No…yes.

HENERY: What happened?

JACK: I found a pub.


JACK: And I drank it.


SALAZAR: Rules were made to be followed. Nothing is made to broken. 

MURTAG: Uh, piñatas.

MULLOG: Candles.

MURTAG: Firewood.

MULLOG: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

BOTH: And rules.


JACK to CARINA (at one point): Because you’re as rude as I am and whilst I have no proof I’m pretty sure you’re a witch.


JACK: Mistakes were made-

GIBBS: By you.

JACK: And some Spaniards got cursed.

GIBBS: By you!


I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation. -Carina Smyth


JACK: Now lets’ face it, I’m the most likely target, so I’ve already made up a list of enemies, which I have narrowed down from twenty-six to just five.

HENERY: In all the seas?

JACK: On just this ship.


BARBOSA: Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?

JACK: Not until four.


HENERY: Wait here.

CARINA: Yes, you go down the dark hallway alone and I’ll wait here in the dark room alone.


JACK to SALAZAR: Look, lets just agree and say ‘I’m sorry’ on the count of three. One. Two. Three.


JACK: Now, see, I’m disappointed in both of us.


SALAZAR to YOUNG JACK: You shouldn’t insult people who are bigger then you.

YOUNG JACK: Then I’d never get to insult anyone.


SALAZAR sword fighting YOUNG JACK: If I were you, I’d give up.

YOUNG JACK: If you were me, I’d be ugly.

Coffee and Bourbon

Title: Coffee and Bourbon
Pairing: reader/Gibbs
Fandom: NCIS

You never knew when you and Gibbs started dating but when you think about it, this funny little dance you were doing together started months ago.

It all started with coffee. You liked your coffee the same as Gibbs. Each day you would take it in turns to buy one for each other. You can’t quite remember who started it, but all you know is both of you start with a cup of coffee on the edge of your desk. Whenever Gibbs wasn’t around, Tony would joke about favouritism and to reply you gave a sly wink over your coffee with a cheeky grin.

It then moved onto bourbon. It had been a bad case, the officers eyes seemed to be burnt into your eyelids. You had struggled through your paperwork for a few hours before deciding to head home. With a quick wave and a grunt to your colleagues you shuffled home grabbing pizza and wine. An hour after getting home there was a knock on the front door and Gibbs stood there with a bottle of bourbon.

“Thought you could do with a drink,” he announced as he walked in. Leading him into the front room, he glanced at the half bottle of wine on the table. “A proper drink that is.”

After a few to many, he ended up sleeping in the spare bedroom as there was no way you were letting him drive home. It continued from there after a bad case one of you would turn up with bourbon. Sometimes you talked about it other times you didn’t.

One night, you turned up at Gibbs’ as you just wanted company. He seemed surprised you were there and when he saw you had no bourbon he was even more surprised.

“Just fancy some company. That ok?”

“Sure,” he nodded at a stool in the corner of the basement. You sat and watched him as he worked on his boat. You didn’t really speak to one another but his presence somehow made you feel better.

When you turned up two weeks later, there in the corner was a small chair that he knew you could curl up in with your favourite book.

He then turned up at yours, you were in the middle of making your favourite chicken pasta. Luckily you had made more than one portion. It even met Gibbs’ standards. “Best pasta I’ve ever eaten.

After that Gibbs would come to yours for tea once a week.

“So are you and Gibbs dating or what?” Tony asked as he perched on the end of your desk one day.

“What?” You asked as you looked up from your screen, wondering where this was coming from and where it was going to go. “Me and Gibbs?”

“You spend every night together after work,” Tony sighed as if he was just pointing out the obvious.

“It’s not every night!” You blurted out, but as Tony raised an eyebrow at you, you realised that maybe you were coming across too defensive.

“Thou lady doth protest to much.”

You rolled your eyes and tried to get back to your work.


Tony shot up off your desk and scuttles to his desk. “Yes Boss?”

“Stop bothering Y/L/N and get some work done.” Gibbs sat down at his desk and gave Tony a final glance before getting on with his own work.

You smiled at Gibbs but your mind is now whirling with thoughts of you and Gibbs. Were you dating? How had you completely missed this? You thought you were just being good friends but when you thought about it, he was more than just a friend and a boss. But you couldn’t quite put a name on what he was.

That night as you and Gibbs put the dinner plates away, you couldn’t help but notice the brushes of fingers and how Gibbs would lean into your space. Subtly but very there. Before you knew it, you had leaned into his space. Your lips pressing against his.

The pressure against yours didn’t disappear and before you knew it your hands were on the back of his neck and his hands were on your back pressing you against his body.

When you pulled apart you stared into those piercing eyes.

“Well, it’s taken you long enough.” Gibbs gave you that cheeky grin, the one which until now, had never made your stomach flip.

“I can be a bit stupid sometimes.” You agreed, starting to grin back.

“I will have to buy coffee tomorrow for Dinozzo to say thank you,” Gibbs leaned in, cupping your face and kissing you deeply before you could comment.

After a moment you pulled your lips away but not your body.

“I hope your not going to try and make me jealous with Tony. I think we both know he’s not your type.”

In The Elevator

Prompt: Could you do a Gibbs one in which reader and Gibbs hate each other (they ignore their feelings for eachother), she is a new agent imposed on the team by Vance. Abby thinks that they would make the perfect couple so with everyone’s help she gets them stuck together in the elevator. Gibbs and reader admit to their feelings with Gibbs still being his sarcastic but adorable self. They kiss.

Requester: Anon

Words: 1,732

Warnings: None, really

Keep reading


Mike looked exhausted, and Harvey didn’t blame him.

The trial was weighing on everyone, and Harvey hated Gibbs for this, not just for arresting Mike but for going after everyone they loved. If she’d just gone after Mike and left it at that it would be horrible, it’s true, but it would’ve been manageable. This going after everyone in their lives bullshit was a bridge too far, and to be honest, none of them were coping very well with it.

But they needed to be. They needed to be unified, and right now they weren’t, at least, not enough.

“Do you remember when you went to work with Sidwell, how it felt being on opposite sides of a case?”

Mike looked up from his file, forehead crinkled in obvious confusion at this apparent non-sequitur. “Of course,” Mike said, but his tone was still uncertain, like he had no idea why this was relevant to the case and he was worried about where this was going.

“I do too. I never want that happening again. And the reason it happened last time was because we didn’t listen to each other, we didn’t trust each other, and it’s a mistake I’m not willing to make twice.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that we need to talk more. I’m saying that I think this plan to go after Gibbs like she’s going after us is stupid, but if you think it’s the only way, let’s talk about it and make sure that it will work. I’m saying that whatever happens in the coming weeks, no matter what evidence she has or what curveballs she throws, we don’t overreact. We sit down and talk it through.”

Mike was staring at him like he had no idea who Harvey was, which okay, that hurt a little. “What brought all this on?”

Harvey chuckled, completely without mirth. “Someone reminded me that the lack of communication was the reason our relationship failed. And I don’t want that to happen with us. I’m not losing you to this trial, and I’m certainly not going to lose you to something as stupid as not communicating properly.”

Mike ducked his head, trying to hide his smile. “I think that’s the most I’ve heard you talk about feelings since the day we met.”

Harvey’s laugh was completely genuine then. “Yeah, well, brace yourself, kid. This is only just the beginning.”

“What happened to the asshole lawyer who didn’t care about anything or anyone?” Mike asked, only half joking.

“He found someone to care about,” Harvey replied honestly. Because it was true. The Harvey of three years ago and the one that sat on this couch were completely different and yet entirely the same. And it was all because of Mike. But before they could get lost in the moment Harvey moved the conversation along, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy. “So, Mike, we need to talk about Rachel.”

Mike tensed before his eyes. “What about Rachel?”

“She doesn’t have spousal privilege, which means when they call her to the stand, and they will call her, she will either need to perjure herself or plead the fifth. Neither are options you’ll be able to live with, and I know that a time is going to come when the pressure is on and you’ll have to choose: Rachel or me.”

“I’m not turning on you, Harvey,” Mike insisted. There was one thing that never wavered with Mike, and that was his vehemence that he’d never turn on Harvey. It warmed Harvey’s heart, but it also scared the crap out of him, because he wanted to believe it but he didn’t trust that he could.

“And I would never turn on you, Mike. But Rachel is the woman you love and I know in this moment you find it inconceivable that you’d ever turn on me, but if it really came down to it, if knowing that whatever decision you made meant it was going to destroy either me or Rachel, could you really do that to her?”

Mike opened his mouth, whether to protest or surrender Harvey didn’t know, because he couldn’t hear it. He had to keep going, had to get this out while he still could.

“And I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter what you do or who you choose, you’re my friend and I will always love you and support whatever decision you make. You’re my guy, and nothing will ever change that.”

Harvey let out a deep breath. There, he’d done it, no more screwing over relationships that mattered to him because of all the things he couldn’t say. He said it, and the world didn’t come falling down around him.

Mike was just looking at him, wondered but also slightly calculating, like he was trying to work this out. Harvey could practically see the light bulb going off over his head.

“This whole thing, you telling me how you feel, wanting us to have better communication: it was because you chose me, my secret, over Scottie, isn’t it?”


Incredibly, that made Mike smile. “Harvey, you have to know that I love you too. And you chose me over Scottie. Is it really so hard to believe that I would choose you over Rachel?”

“This isn’t the same.”

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t change the outcome. I’m choosing you, Harvey. Every goddamn time.”

And Harvey believed him.