in which andrew ruins my life

In the heat of an argument, my mother once told me, “Someday you can go to a therapist and tell him all about how your terrible mother ruined your life. But it will be your ruined life you’re talking about. So make a life for yourself in which you can feel happy, and in which you can love and be loved, because that’s what’s actually important.” You can love someone but not accept him; you can accept someone but not love him. I wrongly felt the flaws in my parents’ acceptance as deficits in their love. Now, I think their primary experience was of having a child who spoke a language they’d never thought of studying.
—  Andrew Solomon, Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity

anonymous asked:

dat vixen!neil au tho 👀 👀 👀

this one, you mean?

(part one)

Neil is having a normal day until Aaron Minyard corners him in a bathroom in the biology tower and pins him to the wall.

“Don’t you say anything to Andrew,” he says, his hand flat on Neil’s chest.  Neil just barely resists the urge to punch him in the face to knock him away, and that’s only because he thinks Katelyn might complain if he damages him.

“About what exactly?” Neil asks.  He figures it doesn’t count as playing dumb if he’s genuinely curious what Aaron’s going to say.

“About Katelyn and-” Aaron starts, before cutting himself off with a hard glare at Neil.  He can’t even say the words Katelyn and I – it figures, really.  He’d hardly be the first man in the world incapable of putting words to his feelings.  Or maybe it’s just too much of a secret.

“I’m not going to say anything to Andrew,” Neil informs him truthfully.

“You can’t trust my brother,” Aaron says.  Which is interesting – Neil wasn’t planning on doing so, but it’s not exactly an indicator of a usual relationship between siblings.  “He’ll do whatever it takes to ruin my life.  If that means using you, he’ll do it.”

Neil thinks of Andrew in the bathroom door at the banquet saying be careful little mouse.  He didn’t exactly walk out of that situation feeling used – Neil isn’t interested in being ammunition in a fight against someone else, but he doesn’t think that’s what Andrew is doing.  To be fair, though, he really has no idea what Andrew is doing.

“I think you’re confused about where my loyalties lie,” Neil says.  “Let me clear that up for you.  I have nothing to say to your brother, and no interest in putting my friend in danger.”

Aaron eyes him for a long moment, before taking his hand off of Neil’s chest and stepping backwards.

It’s no effort to take his legs from under him, leaving him in a heap on the linoleum.  He goes down hard onto his back, at least half winding him.

“I’m not done,” Neil says gently, from his new advantage of several feet.  “You seem awfully worried about putting Katelyn in danger for the man who’s actually doing that.  So why shouldn’t I whisper in Andrew’s ear that your eyes are straying and that he needs to shorten the leash?  Or maybe I should just make sure you stay the fuck away from Katelyn myself – do you think telling her that you’re stalking and threatening me would do it?”

“You wouldn’t,” Aaron says.  He doesn’t sound sure about that.

“You don’t know me very well,” Neil tells him.  “Hey.  You’re lucky.  I’m not afraid of Andrew.  I also know that you make my friend happy, so I won’t step in unless I have to.  But I’m on her side, not yours – and certainly not your brother’s.”

its honestly incredible almost 6 months later and still homestuck is like, my biggest main obsession which is INSANE considering most things that i like i lose interest in within like, a month TOPS. like how long did me posting abt undertale last. see?? i still like undertale on a fundamental level but im literally going to die thinking abt fuckign. homestuck.