in what is probably a really creepy way

There are certain aspects of Tumblr culture that I find really creepy. 

Pulling receipts on people is one of them. 

Even creepier, the people who go out of their way to send asks like “Just so you know, you reblogged so-and-so and they said something homophobic three years ago.” 

Okay? So? I’m just here reblogging dog pictures and funny screen caps from trash tv shows. I don’t really care what so-and-so said three years ago. 

You know who else said ignorant shit three years ago? Me. 

You know who else said ignorant shit three years ago? You, probably. 

I mean, if I reblog something from someone who is actively, currently, human garbage… like if I reblog something from someone who is on par with Donald Trump, go ahead and tell me. 

Otherwise, maybe just let it go and stop pouring so much energy into policing the internet. Most of the people here are in their teens and early twenties. They are going to say ignorant shit that they regret!

If you are currently in your teens and twenties and you’re bristling at the idea that you too may be saying ignorant shit that you are going to regret, just you wait and see. 

Growing up is a constant progression of looking back at your past self and thinking “Oh god, what the fuck was wrong with me?” 

SnK - AoT New Ending Analyze!

Cause that is my favorite thing to do.

But first, a little warning if you are an anime only fan!

Originally posted by ithelpstodream

Major manga spoilers.

You know what to do better than me.

Scroll down, this post does not exist for you.

For others, guess who screenshotted every single scene of new ending and meta all the way?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I just had all the feels about baby Stiles, maybe two or three years old, meeting full-shifted eight-year-old Derek. And Stiles is just absolutely mesmerized by the shiny black pup with soft yellow eyes. They make friends. Stiles even sometimes naps with his head on that wolf's fuzzy belly. (cont)

And of course, as they grow up, he sometimes talks to the dog - as most pet owners do - about his day, or what he’s worried about, or how he has a huge crush on that boy Derek from across the street who’s WAY TOO COOL and would never notice him in a million years because Stiles is young and awkward and Derek is awesome and sportsy and older and did I mention awesome?

THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR FAR TOO LONG. 

I originally planned to write a fic based on it but my brain is dead writing wise at the moment and going through my old drafts, this made me smile too much not to post. 

adore fics where Stiles doesn’t realise his friendly neighbourhood dog is actually one Derek Hale and I love even more when Stiles either hates Derek but Derek has a major crush on him or Stiles is pining hard after the cool boy at school/his hot neighbour and Derek is actually too awkward/emotionally constipated to try and snuggle with Stiles in any other way but in his wolf form. Seriously, I’d read this trope 1000 times over and never get bored. 

“He smiled at me today, Sparky.”

Oh god, why did he have to name me Sparky? Who names their dogs Sparky? It’s not even a cool loser name. 

I think I was cool?? At least, I was trying to be but then he did this thing where he tipped his sunglasses down his face and grinned and I kind of face planted the sidewalk. Fuck, I hope he didn’t see.”

I did.

And then, he came to History wearing a leather jacket. Can you believe it? It’s like he knows what leather does to me…I swear, it’s like he can read my mind sometimes.”

Shit.

Kind of like last week, when I discovered I had a serious thing for guys in glasses after seeing Tyler Hoechlin in Supergirl. And then boom! He showed up to school, wearing glasses, Sparky. Oh my god, what if I have, like, mind control powers?”

How do I have a crush on you?

What if every time I develop a new fantasy, Derek feels compelled to do it? Shit. What if I end up into kinky stuff? What if he shows up to prom in handcuffs and a blindfold??

Very unlikely. Unless I work up the courage to ask you out by then and handcuffs and blindfolds are something you want to try out on prom night.

Maybe I should write him some kind of apology card. Would that be creepy?”

Probably not creepier than pretending to be a stray dog because every time I’ve tried to ask you out I forget how to talk.

Do you think I could ask him out in the card too? Like, P.S. I also think you’re really hot. Except for your bunny teeth. Which are adorable. Please consider dating me. This is Stiles, by the way.” 

Yes. Wait – adorable?

“I’m going to do it, Sparky.”

Finally.

I’m going to do the deed.”

Okay.

“I’ll start on the ten year plan tonight.”

Ten year WHAT? 

Dating Jonathan Byers Would Include:

Originally posted by fuckyeahcharlieheaton

(i’m aware this gif is not from stranger things, but dayyyuummm anyway continue…)

  • always hanging out his house
  • cooking dinner with joyce and eating together almost every night like you’re one big happy family
  • i feel like he would be really protective of you
    like he’d kinda be jealous and ready to fight someone for flirting with you but he’s also a shy little small bean so you’d calm him down really easily
  • will would absolutely adore you!!
  • and you guys would geek out together all the time over comic books and what have you
  • and you’d always be taking jonathan and him out to fun places and conventions
  • and honestly jonathan would really appreciate that you care so much about his little brother and try to protect him and he probably would overhear a bunch of cute little conversations you and him have and it just warms his heart 
  • one day you’d probably be going through some portfolios of his and try to pick a good one for colleges and job opportunities and you’d stumble upon a bunch of pictures of you (and not in a creepy way) 
  • “what are all of these? is this me?”
    “oh god, you weren’t suppose to see those!” 
  • and it’s because you’re his muse and he loves taking candids of you because he thinks you’re most beautiful when you’re yourself and in your element (so they’re probably pictures of you like eating, lounging around, laughing at a corny joke, reading, dancing around, walking through the woods, probably just you like zoning out a window or something) 
  • you’d also be like the daughter joyce never had 
  • you guys would probably get caught kissing in the red room…a lot, which makes him really embarrassed of course 
  • he’d constantly be showing you new music first thing he hears it and constantly tries to catch glimpses, trying to read your face and see if you like it
  • he’d make you a lot of mixed tapes
  • he’d probably be really nervous with PDA and stuff 
  • and hella on edge to meet your parents 
  • but in the end they would love him
  • he’d probably buy you small little gifts with extra money he gets
  • like a promise ring, and flowers every now and then 
  • and you’d visit him at work a lot, which would only distract him and cause him to fumble around and he’d get yelled at by his boss, but you both don’t care
  • and you’d probably have late night chats about life and how he really feels about his dad and relationships with people, and you’d help him get through all of that 
  • and you’d be like the world in his eyes- ok i’m done lol 

mystic-messenger-galore  asked:

Heyy, nice blog, hon! Okay, I've got something to ask, what are the rfa members + Saeran like when they are asleep? (also, good luck and I hope things go well!!)

This is so late >.<

Thank you for the ask! Also, everyone go follow the person who asked this, they have a really cool blog!!

Yoosung:

  • Literally, a puppy, have you met him?
  • If you sleep with him he’ll probably curl up at your side.
  • If you’re not with him at night, he’ll cuddle himself up to a pillow.
  • Cuddles all night. You better pee before you lay down because this boy is locking on.
  • He’s got a vice grip, like, damn kid.
  • Doesn’t exactly snore, it’s just heavy breathing, like a borderline snore
  • Mumbles small phrases in his sleep
  • watch out for when he has wet dreams
  • He knows you find how he sleeps cute
  • Will purposely act like he’s sleeping just so you’ll lay down next to him and run your fingers through his hair like you always do bc he’s a pup
  • Has the fakest ‘just woke up’ voice ever
  • “Hnn oh hey love when did you get home?”
  • When he actually wakes up it is pretty darn cute though
  • Please cuddle this cutie, he has nightmares sometimes.

Zen:

  • He’s an angel while he sleeps
  • Lookin’ all majestic over here
  • His hair sprawled out on the pillow, a gentle heavenly look on his face-
  • SNORES THAT ARE SO LOUD
  • You actually cannot sleep with him anymore without headphones in with very loud music
  • He claims that he doesn’t
  • “It’s just light breathing!”
  • Yeah Zen, definitely, if light breathing is as loud as a lawn mower
  • You recorded it once and sent it to him
  • He never responded to that text….
  • Besides the beast like snoring, he’s very soft and warm so good cuddles for you
  • Holds you tight, but not tight enough to not be able to move
  • It’s just very pleasant
  • Plus he wakes you up in the sweetest way
  • He just runs his fingers over your sides gently, whispering softly for you to wake up
  • What a nice alarm clock you have
  • I’m jealous
  • Love this snoring babe

Jaehee:

  • Does Jaehee even sleep half of the time??
  • The answer is no
  • Jumin piles her with work all the time, when could she find the time?
  • Half of the time she’ll says she’ll come to bed in 10 minutes
  • 30 minutes pass and you fall asleep
  • 3 hours pass and she slips into bed with you 
  • This woman needs more sleep 
  • You have to drag her to bed so she’ll go to sleep at a reasonable hour
  • Jaehee is a light sleeper so a lot of the time you have to be careful if you move too much or make any noise
  • No snoring from her, she is as quiet as a mouse
  • Totally would wake up at any moment to comfort you from a nightmare
  • She doesn’t cuddle you when she gets into bed, she too embarrassed
  • But the deeper into sleep she gets the closer she is to you
  • By morning she has her arms around you and her face in your neck
  • Lord give her a good nights rest

Jumin:

  • Probably has silk pajamas tbh
  • Probably bought you a pair tbh
  • Unlike Jaehee, this guy has little paperwork at night when he gets home
  • He doesn’t like to bring his work home to you
  • He’ll stay extra hours at work to finish it all
  • When he get home it’s kinda late so you’re probably already in bed waiting for him
  • After you guys turn the lights off, he pulls you close and you tell each other about how your days went
  • You both drift off to sleep somewhere in the middle of it
  • Good luck trying to shift your position
  • This man has a strong grip, no joke
  • You’re just gonna have to wait
  • Sleeps like a rock 
  • Half of the time when you wake him up for work, you’re not sure if he’s actually that deep of a sleeper or he’s just messing with you
  • He just smirked, he’s messing with you
  • Damn it Jumin


Seven:

  • Another babe who doesn’t get enough rest
  • Half of the time he falls asleep at his desk
  • Most nights you have to bridal style carry him to bed for him to get off his computer
  • Honestly, though, his sleeping schedule has gotten so much better with you in his life
  • The biggest cuddler besides Yoosung
  • Would probably tell you stories before bed from when he was little
  • At these times, late at night, is when you really get to see Saeyoung’s vulnerable side 
  • He has light snores, not nearly as bad as Zen’s
  • It really isn’t a bother 
  • A lot of the time you fall asleep before him and wake up after him
  • While you’re still sleeping he likes to lay there and stare at your face
  • Not in a creepy way of course 
  • He just wants to engrave what you look like into his brain
  • Remember every little feature
  • So if you ever decide to leave him one day, he’ll remember exactly what you look like
  • Plus, he likes to drift off into sleep with you on his mind
  • Beautiful boy, isn’t he? 

Saeran:

  • He gets a bit nervous with you in his bed
  • This’ll pass after a while of you dating
  • A while as in a year or two….
  • But he enjoys you being there nonetheless 
  • He definitely won’t make the first move to cuddle, never
  • But if you initiate it, he won’t stop you
  • And after you’re asleep, he’ll wrap his arms around you as well and pulls you close
  • Although he would never admit it, he loves laying his head on your chest
  • Your heartbeat puts him right to sleep 
  • He often has nightmares and wakes up in the middle of the night in a panic attack
  • Just hold him close and stroke his hair, after and hour to an hour and a half he’ll calm down
  • Sing softly to him, that also helps to calm him down and coax him back into slumber 
  • Very early in the morning is when you can really see a softer side of him
  • He’s usually half asleep and very drowsy
  • And he’ll talk to you with the most gentle tone 
  • And talk to you about everything and anything
  • Once he really gets up, he’ll pretend like it never happened, honestly super embarrassed 
  • He’s such a babe, comfort him

Hope this was to your liking! Have a nice day!

~Lynn

anonymous asked:

What are some of your favourite books? I know you've probably already listed them off about 100 times, but I haven't found any interesting books lately and I feel like I'd like the same stuff as you

I always recommend Jeff VanderMeer’s Southern Reach trilogy. The first one is called “Annihilation” - really creepy ecological science fiction/horror. You won’t be able to stop thinking about it.

Some other fiction I’ve read recently includes the classic “Something Wicked This Way Comes” by Ray Bradbury, which is slow to start and a little dated, but quickly gains momentum - bizarre coming of age horror fantasy. I just finished “Guards! Guards!” by Terry Pratchett, which is part of the Discworld series but stands on its own - it’s a fantasy parody of a noir cop story, featuring dragons. I just re-read “The Big Sleep” by Raymond Chandler, which is much better than the movie but can be confusing if you listen to the audiobook. I’m about to start “The Automatic Detective” by A. Lee Martinez, which is about a robot detective. You’ve probably seen me blog extensively about Stephen King’s “Dark Tower” series - it’s Important to me and weirdly compelling, though I hesitate to recommend it because it’s very flawed. If you decide to read it (it’s extremely long - each book is a doorstopper), keep in mind that it was written by a white man with a decent heart over a period of 30 years, and is messy and meandering in a number of ways. It’s… it’s odd. The protagonist is an Arthurian cowboy knight from an apocalyptic parallel world, and it *is* King, so there are many really disturbing elements.

Example of how customers can compliment you and not be creepy

I was at work today and it was really busy, but I was still smiling at everyone bc y'know, don’t want to get complaints. But I served a guy who was really friendly, not weird at all, and when he had paid and was about to leave, he said ‘you have a lovely smile, have a nice day’. And like???? People say it’s impossible to compliment you without being creepy, but nothing about what that guy said to me made me feel uncomfortable, he paid me a compliment and left. If you’re being perceived as creepy when you give compliments, it’s probably because you’re doing it in a creepy way. I’ve had my fair share of creepy customers and thankfully this was not one of them 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

Okay so like. Half Galra Keith. But instead of having a Galra form he is just. In between. And always has been.

Like he’s got little not human things about him that he’s always either ignored, hidden or never noticed in the first place.

Like his nails totally grow into claws if he doesnt trim them, and trimming them is a bitch because they’re really really tough and about the only thing that can cut them is his dagger.

His eyes definitely do that creepy glowing light reflecting thing like a cats, Keith sneaking up on you in the dark is terrifying bc if you shine a flashlight on him he looks like a demon holy shit.

Hes got real good night vision and heightened senses + his kinda extrasensory perception deal that let him fell the blue lion. Can probably always just sorta tell where people are but has never really thought about it like, why wouldn’t he know where Shiro is and what he’s feeling half way across the castle? Shiro’s his friend.

But the biggest one. Is his teeth. He has shark teeth.

Its not just that they are fangs, it’s that a new set grows in about every six years.

It doesnt come up right away, because obviously the last two times it happened his foster families took him to the dentist Right fucking away to get that shit fixed, so it seems like he just has normal teeth. Maybe with some extra pointy incisors but yeah theyre normal looking.

But then a couple months in they start falling out so a new set can grow in.

The weirdest part for everyone else is how much Keith isnt freakin out.

Like he looses five teeth in a training session and he’s just like. “>:( this again?? so thats why my mouth has been hurting so much”

And of course he’s got no clue why everyone’s insisting he go rushing to the med bay and see if a pod can fix it because “Calm down guys its just a new set coming in.”

And theyre like “Does Keith really not know how the whole baby teeth thing works that only happens once bro”

And naturally Shiro goes all mother hen and makes him open his mouth to check the damage and. Theres little fangs?? Poking through his gums? And Keith is just “Yeah this is normal, like I wasnt expecting it for a few months yet but its normal” and No. No Keith, this is absolutely not normal what the fuck.

I am just very attached to the Alien Keith idea and I want him to have fangs dammit. Boy deserves to bite people. 

anonymous asked:

I love Sansa's "Alayne Stone" story for many reasons, but the main reason why is because we get to see a side of her that she always had, but she suppressed it due to her courtesies. We get to see her sharp-tongued, snarky, sassy side. Honestly, when i read some of the Alayne Stone chapters, i was so surprised. I was like "wait what? Did she just say this?!".

My favourite is the one in TWOW when she can’t stop salting Harry the Heir, lol, though it also gives me an… unpleasant/creepy vibe for reasons.

it’s interesting because we don’t know if that’s part of her naturally growing up, if she’s finding in her Alayne persona a way out of the social constrictions and taboos connected to her former status, or if she’s adjusting to people’s expectations of how a bastard girl should behave. Probably all of this. Bastards are invisible: they’re neither players nor prizes, and unless they overstep their boundaries nobody really cares for them. Sansa used to have the spotlight firmly planted on her, because of her heritage and status. Alayne is a nobody, the bastard daughter of a minor lord, and counts nothing—hell, she even looks like nothing special (something to remember in her future interactions with Harry), her gorgeous auburn hair replaced by a plain shade of brown and modest clothes. In part, she resents this invisibility (and sometimes forgets what’s her place, like that time when she “accidentally” wore Tully colors), but it also gives her an unique leeway, the opportunity to watch and learn things unobserved and unnoticed, make people spill their secrets and store them for later, not unlike Arya’s wanderings in Braavos under various aliases.

but bastards are also seen as untrustworthy, less moral than /regular/ people, thus less worthy of being treated with respect. They’re “wanton”: there’s no wench half so lusty as one bastard born, Marillion says as he proceeds to paw Sansa, who under Alayne’s guise has no longer her status to shield her from unwanted sexual contact, and is even expected to be enthusiastically available. I think she immediately realizes that she can no longer act like the sheltered, innocent girl she is (or used to be)—that persona worked as best as it could when she was in King’s Landing, but now it’s useless and, if anything, suspicious. 

So she creates a new one, one that’s older, wiser and more experienced, more worldly than what she really is. She models Alayne around the idea that bastards must fight for their right to exist since they moment they’re born. She adapts. She doesn’t drop her courtesies altogether, but she adjusts them to the new situation, hones a new, sharper edge to her still formally polite words. She gets bolder with LF in calling him out on his shit (though interestingly we get less of that in AFFC, when aunt Lysa is gone and she’s Alayne for everyone except him, as if she subconsciously recognizes him as her only source of power). She still blushes a lot, but she’s working on it. She gets practical, because “bastard brave” girls get shit done (see her assertiveness with Sweetrobin and the maester). I think there’s also a degree of trauma connected with how everyone saw Sansa Stark as “stupid” (to the point that she started believing it, or at least wondering if it wasn’t true) that now she’s shedding… by disassociation, but still.

anyway, yes. I totally wonder whether, once she sheds “Alayne” from her system too, something of the bastard brave girl will remain, and which parts specifically.

Anon asked:

💞❤️rfa react to an MC who gets jealous very easily if you have time❤️💞

Of course! Sorry that this has taken so long! Klc and I were going through a bit of a slump. I guess we just pumped out so much content at first that we got a little burnt out. Then, I was in the middle of writing this and when I closed my laptop, the next time I opened it, all of my tabs had closed. I hope you understand. Regardless, we’re back, now. I hope you like this! Now, it’s going to be a collection of mini-fics, one for each character, so it’ll be under the cut~

그럼 고고씽~!

Keep reading

I was saying this on twitter but I also need people to appreciate what a GENIUS CON ARTIST Emori is, because if there’s anything I’ve learned from Leverage the best trick to persuading someone to do what you want is to convince them it was *their idea*.

Clarke didn’t know Emori heard about the radiation chamber at all, and she didn’t want to reveal how much she knew. If she suggested “let’s microwave this rando intruder” herself, Clarke (and Abby) probably would’ve pushed back against it, at least at first. She had to set it up where it was a reasonable alternative to “I am determined to revenge-kill this guy and you can’t stop me” and wait for the creepy “what if INSTEAD we kill two birds with one stone?” lightbulb to go off in her head. (Which is pretty fucked-up, Clarke, by the way.) She played her so well and I’m just really proud and horrified.

Prompt - WinterIron, Vampire!Bucky, Human!Tony

Prompt: ‘’Soo, since you’re taking prompts I was wondering if you’d be willing to write some WinterIron with Vampire!Bucky trying to woo the adorable but completely clueless Human!Tony? (With the added difficulty that vampires do not lie or evade truths when they’re wooing as a sign of respect for their intended?)’’

Sooooo, I doubt that it’s exactly what you wanted, but my brain kind of went away with this version and I just followed, because it was really fun to write.

Hope you like it anyway :)



Tony was drunk. Which, okay, it was probably not very surprising, after all it was pretty well-known that alcohol and him were pretty much best friends.

But he was maybe slightly more drunk than he had thought, because. Because. There was a guy in front of him and- he was wearing a silver cape. And not like, the kinda-fashionable capes that you payed a fortune to wear - and that were ugly as fuck - oh, no, a full-on medieval cape, with mysterious scarlet patterns on it and a freakingly huge collar.

“What the FUCK?!?” Tony exclaimed, maybe - just maybe - slightly louder than was recommended when it was 3AM and you were on a residential street. But fuck, the guy was wearing a cape, and Tony had always felt a bit of compassion for Vernon Dursley.

He could hear the guy mumble something which sounded very much like “shit” and then he turned around and Tony just wanted to emphasize that his initial reaction was probably the most appropriate one.
Because, first, the guy was extremely handsome - tall, muscular, beautiful red mouth, longish hair well-cut: he checked all the cases in Tony’s perfect man profile. But well, the slight problem was, that his skin sparkled and… were his eyes red?
Oh no, Tony was going to die. Either assassinated in a street next to a pile of garbage and a dozen of rats, by the sound of it; or because of alcohol intoxication, because even during his wildest years, he had never ever drank enough to see a creepy guy impersonating Dracula.

(Mind the ‘’Keep Reading!)

Keep reading

-So, Gunther, it looks like you and your brother simply will not stay your asses at home lately, and I keep finding your homework in the litterboxes. You two better keep your grades up because I have made important cat adoption plans for the minute you leave for college!

-Aw dad, pretending to be a responsible father is cute but you can relax, we’re definitely gonna study today! I mean it’s Sunday morning, what else are we gonna do? Hit the clubs?

We arrive at the Lulu Lounge! Loving that red carpet, Jojo this is the place for you.

-Ugh I know, I feel so at home.

Well you do look great, especially next to our car!

Do you guys remember Komei’s boxing thing that he has thankfully stopped doing? I think that apart from the jaw, Jojo has also inherited those faulty genetics, because all he wants to do at any given moment is play this stupid punching game. Not only is it annoying as fuck but pretty disturbing as well. I’m talking Anastasia Steele teas.

-Punch me Gunther! Punch me like you mean it!

Ugh freak. Time to hit something else.. the dancefloor!

Panic! At The Disco.

-MY HAIR, MY BEAUTIFUL DARCY HAIR! I WISH MOM HAD MORNING-AFTER-PILLED YOU

Thank god the tension is quickly overcome with some inappropriate brotherly dancing!

-Nice, now knee me in the testicles, Gunther!

JFC. Jojo really, I’m not judging, but this is a legacy not the fucking Story of O. Let’s at least find someone who is not a blood relation to beat you up? 

Like blondie here, look he’s cute and he wants to dance with you!

-UGH gross, not only is he age appropriate but I don’t even see a ring on that finger! Hard pass. OMG. IT’S HIM. HE’S HERE.

What? No, that’s impossible, there is no fucking way-

WELL FUCK ME I GUESS. WHAT THE FUCK. STEPHEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ON A SUNDAY MORNING

-Sunday morning, time to cut loose, am I right?

NO YOU’RE NOT. GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY I’M TRYING TO CURE JOJO OF THIS OBSESSION. GET OUT BEFORE HE COMES OVER

………………………………….fucking jfc I’m so done. Jojo I hate you.

-Well well well… Following me now, Stephen? Oh how the tables have turned..

-What? Do I know you?

-Haha that’s funny. So this is how you wanna play this then? Alright. Yes, I am a complete stranger..

-Oh wait, you’re that legacy freak that keeps spying on my family, aren’t you?

-That’s right I am. Does that turn you on?

-WHAT. NO IT DOES NOT WHAT THE FUCK

-You can stop playing hard to get, you have me already..

-I’M GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER AS SOON AS I LEARN YOUR NAME

-Well he can say what he wants but he did buy me a drink..

NO HE DIDN’T HE LEFT AND YOU STOLE HIS DRINK

-I fail to see the difference. 

OF COURSE YOU DO. Let’s gtfo before you get arrested.

We go to Rodney’s Hideout to literally hide out. Gunther runs into Ruskie and things immediately escalate..

..while Jojo finally has one solitary bolt with someone and it’s Craig here, who is very cute and also..

A NERD. We have struck gold! Jojo don’t fuck this up istg.

-I can’t believe I’m saying this to someone who is not my mother but.. I don’t hate you.

-Oh my!

The very definition of different speeds. But it doesn’t matter, we’re getting there, just keep up the non disturbing conversation about hats, Jo!

-So you see, Craig, just as Napoleon thought the battle was his, he sees a sea of Prussian spiked helmets, or pickelhaubes, approaching-

-Actually, the Prussian military did not adopt the pickelhaube until 1842, it’s a common misconception aided by representations of the battle of Waterloo in modern media..

Oh dear god we’re gonna be here all night.

Even Mrs Crumplebottom doesn’t care enough to interrupt this lameness. 

-I don’t know when I’ll be able to go on a date with you, Craig, as I don’t subscribe to the arbitrary concept of ‘time’.. 

Ok you know what, NO. Get up.

There we fucking go. WAS THAT SO HARD

-You are pretty attractive even though your clothes are. ridiculous.

LMAO take a look in the mirror lately Jo? Whatever, Craig likes you for some unfathomable reason so let’s do this already.

If you’re wondering what Gunther was doing during this time, it was watching his harem smustle. He had 2 bolts with Ivy but Ruskie wouldn’t gtfo so we’re getting to Ivy later. As if we’d let her escape!

Busting a move worked like a charm on Craig, legit god knows why. Craig you’re a fucking weirdo. 

-I can’t help it, he looks so cool!

Is cool the right word for it? Is it really?

Fucking oedipal istg. STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR MOM AND MAKE A MOVE YOU’RE EXHAUSTING

-Honestly, my dear, far be it from me to criticize my mother in any way, but I really don’t know what she was thinking marrying Komei!

Yea let us guess who you would prefer she marry instead.. Gee that’s a tough one.

Yes, there we go, we’re so close Jojo! Please don’t say anything creepy and scare him away, please ❤ Who knows how long it will be till we find someone else who likes you, probably never LETS BE REAL

-I really wasn’t expecting this to happen with someone so unmarried and so not middle-aged such as yourself.. And dressed in this delinquent manner.. I mean are you wearing an actual necklace, good lord.. Now that I think about it this may have been a mistake..

NOP, NOP, I’M DONE, TOO LATE FOR THAT SHIT NOW JO. PREPARE FOR IMPACT

YAAAAS. I forgot to turn the special camera off like a moron but whatever! Get it Jo, fucking finally. 

AW. Fuck Jojo looking rough in this pic, can’t believe Craig went for you tbh. THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS

As soon as the first kiss is over this is what Craig hits us with:

Very promising. Jfc Jojo wtf did you do to him?

-NOTHING! I was a perfect gentleman, I even whispered in his ear that I’ll see him again when he’s married!

Oh yea, that’s what everyone wants to hear! Whatever, our work here is done, let’s go home. Gunther is so tired from being a slut he’s ready to pass out.

….

……………….

…………………………..

………………………………….

I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake,                                               baby, snap out of it,
I get the feeling I left it too late, but baby,
snap out of it,
if that watch don’t continue to swing                                                                   or the fat lady fancies having a sing,                                                                 I’ll be here waiting ever so patiently for you to                                               snap. out. of. it. ♪ 
💔

anonymous asked:

Can you explain to me this whole retrograde thing ? I don't get it lol why are people freaking about this ?

Hey hun,

Retrogrades can be kinda freaky but weirdly cool in their own way. I don’t think it’s something to lose your shit over though, rather something to appreciate. But a lot of people do lose their mind over retrogrades. For silly reasons that I shall now explain to you.
If you don’t know what a planet in retrograde is, it means that the Earth’s orbit overtakes the orbit of another planet, so that it appears to be moving backwards in the sky for a period of time, like in the photo above. 
In terms of astrology, this means that the energy of that planet also goes a bit backwards.
In the case of Mercury which rules over communication, intellect and travel, and goes into retrograde most often out of all the planets, this can mean some interesting thingies. Firstly, communication in relationships, the workplace, home, etc tend to go a bit haywire. You might experience negative thoughts, or struggle with something that requires a bit of deep thinking. You may experience trouble and set backs in your travel plans, even if you just go take a bus down the street.
A LOT of misinformed people here on tumblr sit there freaking out over retrograde planets, blaming them for bad luck, relationship failures, etc etc. Just look up mercury retrograde on tumblr and have a bit of a skim through the posts and their comments.
And this misinformation is usually because of two reasons. Firstly, if you just type “mercury retrograde meaning” into a google search, you get a ton of click bait saying “FIND OUT WHAT MERCURY RETROGRADE MEANS FOR YOU!” or “HOW TO SURVIVE MERCURY RETROGRADE!”, as if Mercury being taken over in it’s orbit by the Earth means we’re all going to die in a sudden zombie apocalypse, and that this sudden zombie apocalypse will happen every few months until we all become extinct.
The other reason is that sadly, a lot of people don’t bother to think for themselves but instead take things at face value. And I’m not pointing fingers or saying that everyone who worries about retrogrades does this, especially if their birthchart has a retrograde on it. But people are so quick to take things at face value, rather than just looking into something and learning about it before they figure out if they need to worry or not. Some people simply just read about retrogrades and say “Well. Fuck. That’s it for me. That’s why I’m crazy. Because Mercury is moving backwards. Hey random person on Tumblr?! Guess what? Your life is about to go to shit because Mercury is moving backwards in the sky.”
“But-”
“NO! Mercury is moving backwards! Your phone is going to explode!” 
(LOL, imagine if Samsung blamed their Note 7 disaster on Mercury)

And my point was, that retrogrades aren’t really that bad all the time. And they don’t even apply to some people. Like I have no retrogrades on my birth chart, so whenever the dreaded Mercury retrograde comes around I’m just like….MEH.
The thing is, that astrology is so much more complicated than people think. It’s really amazingly interesting as well, and if you read a birth chart, you will find that it is crazy accurate in a creepy way. But retrogrades can bring some really cool energies to a birth chart. Like the example below. Jupiter and Pluto have a letter R next to their planetary symbols, and so do Uranus and Neptune. At the time this person was born, all of these planets were in retrograde. So what does that mean for them?
Well, with Pluto retrograding in Scorpio, in House 3, this means that this person will be spending that retrograde time probably in a lot of deep thought about how negative thoughts control their emotions and how they can transform that. But the retrograde of Pluto will only affect them when it falls back into Scorpio in the degrees of 26′58′. Which wont be for another 248 years after they were born, because that’s how slow Pluto moves. And they will be a skeleton by then.
Or Jupiter in retrograde in Scorpio on their birth chart, which means that this person will be reflecting spiritually on how they have grown in the last few months prior to the retrograde occurring in the present, and seeking to figure out how you may have been held back by their emotions or their actions.
Jupiter enters retrograde every 13 months and takes 12 years to move through all the signs. So in the end, this person in the chart below will only feel the effects of Jupiter retrograde every 12 years. 
That, my friend is why retrogrades can be actually a good thing. It’s not something to freak out over, and people need to read books.

READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just like you, I too am equally confused by this freak out. JUST READDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Like calm the hell down and read.

For anyone interested in reading their birth chart, please go to:

http://www.alwaysastrology.com/birth-chart-calculator.html

anonymous asked:

Hey there :) I love your writing so much and your taste in fics recs. I guess amazing writers recognize equally talented work. While I love reading fanfic, I've been trying to get into reading books lately but am unsure of where to start. I was wondering if you have any book recs (really any genre is fine I trust your taste, but if you have anything with magical realism or an unnerving eerie horror vibe I'd love you to the moon and back)? thank you so much <3

Hey! Sorry to take so long to respond, I love this ask and I’m flattered that you want my recs!!

As for an unnerving eerie/horror vibe, I think Universal Harvester by John Darnielle would be something you might love, especially as a kind of starter book because it’s a very quick and absorbing read– one caveat is that if you like a mystery where everything is neatly explained at the end it will frustrate you, but even as someone who felt kinda ‘huh’ at the end, I enjoyed reading it a lot and would recommend. There are two skin-crawling moments in this book I will never forget, it’s so effective. I need to read more horror but I’m very squeamish about both gore and psychological horror so it’s hard for me to find stuff like this that’s effective and scary without disturbing me too much.

I wish I had more magic realism recs (I wanted to like Kelly Link, jfc I really tried ;___;) but the only thing that’s coming to mind is One Hundred Years of Solitude, which is one of my favorite books and one I should reread since it’s been a while.

OH OKAY this is a somewhat corny book but if you have tolerance for romance (and if you like my stuff you probably do lol), I love More Than You Know by Beth Gutcheon– the ghost story is so fucking creepy! It has major character death but even though you can see it coming a mile away it didn’t feel cheap to me; it’s more about the MC’s memories than the romance itself. And I love this so much, from the opening: “Somebody said ‘true love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.’ I’ve seen both and I don’t know how to tell you which is worse.”

I have a lot of feelings about George Saunders these days but I lovedddd Pastoralia when I was first getting into contemporary short fiction and I still reread his older stuff sometimes. There’s some good surreal & creepy stuff in that collection.

My favorite book of all time ever is The Green Knight by Iris Murdoch and it’s surreal and creepy as fuck in places, but really in a more comic way than anything else, ultimately. If you read it and like it, I recommend everything by Murdoch, she’s my favorite writer.

I recommend Like You’d Understand, Anyway by Jim Shepard to everyone because it’s my favorite short story collection. If you’re just starting to get into reading short fiction I might start with my second favorite though, Birds of America by Lorrie Moore.

I read A Manual for Cleaning Women by Lucia Berlin last year and now it’s on my favorite books of all time list, it’s emotionally brutal though (but in such a satisfying way, if you’re up for that!)

Earlier this year I read Signs and Wonders by Alix Ohlin and it really impressed me. (I’m reading her older collection now and one of her stories has inspired a new Kylux idea in me lol…)

Now I’ll wander past my bookshelves to see if there’s anything else I need to mention….

OH: Observatory Mansions!! by Edward Carey. omg now I want to reread this. It’s super surreal and creepy in what I think is a unique way, at least in my relatively limited experience of contemporary fiction, and I still think of it often and feel attached to the main character. This is one of those books that probably had a lot of subconscious influence on my own stuff now that I think about it, I really need to reread it….

Gob’s Grief by Chris Adrian is frustrating as fuck but it’s another surreal and creepy novel that I sometimes consider rereading because a lot of it stayed with me and because the short story that got me interested in it (which became a chapter in this novel), Every Night for a Thousand Years, is one of my favorites.

Also The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint by Brady Udall is one of my favorite books and Letting Loose the Hounds is a good short story collection by the same author (the story about the moose. I’ll never forget it).

I also always recommend Passion by Alice Munro to anyone who likes romance. It’s one of if not my absolute favorite short stories, I reread it a lot.

I’ll stop there– thanks again for asking, and I hope you’ll enjoy some of these! <3

Adrien’s Character Growth!!

FINALLY!!! FINALLY my precious son gets some fucking character growth!!! For the first time we see Adrien question Ladybug, scold her, and call her out on her flaws. Is he still infatuated with her?

Duh! But that doesn’t mean he isn’t horrified by her behavior. For the first time, Adrien sees Ladybug as less than perfect. And what does he do? Does he brush it off? Does he ignore it? NO! HE FUCKING CALLS HER OUT ON HER BULLSHIT!

He yells at her! “AREN’T YOU ASHAMED!?” We very rarely see Adrien raise his voice and I don’t think we’ve ever seen him raise his voice in anger. He’s used to taking a lot of shit and just bottling it up. For him to call her out on it reminds us there is a strong moral character that defines why Adrien was picked as Chat Noir. 

Of course, he’s still shy, reserved, well-behaved Adrien and he immediately tries to be more polite.

In all honesty, he looks almost frightened of her. Which makes me wonder what happened to break his backbone. Did his father break it?

But even thought he is obviously scared of her, he doesn’t let the issue go. He might have phrased it as a question, but he is still telling her off: “you went to far.” Yes, Ladybug was morally right to call her out on her lying but how she did it was wrong. Very wrong. And it lead to Ladybug causing a young girl to get akumatized (interesting that both times the superheroes had caused someone to get akumatized it was because of jealousy and at least Chat Noir had the decency to do it privately so there was no public ridicule.) 

But back to Adrien! Again and again in the episode, we see him question Ladybug (FOR THE FIRST TIME!).

Again!

And again. Yes, he curls in on himself a little bit, afraid of backlash. But he pushes back. For the first time, I really felt like he was her partner and not her sidekick, blindly nodding. 

When Volpina comes to Adrien’s room, Adrien takes charge and tries to help Lila. And I really think it would have worked if Ladybug hadn’t gone in and, honestly, made things worse with her jealousy!

Here he is again horrified by Ladybug’s behavior like best “WTF?” face I’ve seen from him all season.

And here he is begging for no violence. 

At the end, since the first episode, we see Ladybug having to ask Chat Noir to trust her. And he does, of course. But he hesitates just for a moment. And it’s obviously because she’s been off this whole episode, selfish and stubborn in a way we haven’t see since the Antibug episode with Chloe and Sabrina’s akuma (clearly Marinette has serious issues with liars).

And in the end, we see Chat Noir genuinely frustrated. 

I mean does the boy still have it bad? Yeah. But I really think for the first time that Chat Noir and Ladybug could have a healthy relationship. He doesn’t put her on a pedestal and kiss her feet. When she fucks up, he calls her out. When she behaves poorly, he questions her judgement. That’s some major progress! 

Like let’s be real. Ladybug is arrogant, stubborn, and evaluates people from a very strict moral high-ground. There is no gray with her. Akuma victims are victims. Chloe and Hawkmoth are embodiments of evil. She and Chat Noir are the good guys, untouchable. 

She never stops to think that Chloe might have a reason for behaving the way she does. She never once realized that Lila was lying because her parents were diplomats and, when you move around a lot, the only way to make friends was to be popular. So obviously, Lila lied so she could fit in. Lila is probably a terribly insecure, lonely little girl whose learnt that fox-like slyness was the best way to get respect fast. I didn’t need to watch a lot (literally the minute Alya told Marinette that Lila said she knew Ladybug) to figure that out. 

And Marinette clearly has no idea that Adrien might be suffocating. She sees him as perfect: intelligent, hardworking, beautiful, and most importantly kind and selfless. To her, he is like all her moral standards embodied in one untouchable boy. She never once stops to think maybe Adrien wants to misbehave once in awhile and make mistakes. 

And Chat Noir is obviously guilt of seeing Ladybug as this perfect being, untouchable like the sun. Its one of the main reasons I wondered if they should ever actually get together. But Chat Noir is trying to get to know Ladybug in a way Marinette isn’t trying to get to know Adrien (probably because of her shyness but if the girl can invest so much time to make a chart of his schedule–still creepy– one could think she might practice her conversation skills). And this show exemplifies that. He saw something he didn’t like and instead of disregarding it, he added it to his mental image of the girl underneath the mask. What wonderful progress!!

Guys… I really think this is gonna work out.

(NOW KISS)

2

(Requested by Anon) 

The vampires were surrounding you now, all in one big circle that was gradually closing in. Soon enough you would be dead. Vampire chow. The only question left was which vampire’s meal were you going to be? You looked around carefully considering your options; there was this one big burly one that you didn’t particularly like the look of, he had a creepy smile and terrifying eyes and just looked like he’d enjoy killing you way too much. There was a little female one who you were 100% sure was a hell of a lot less innocent than she projected, she was probably more along the lines of sadistic bitch actually. Apart from those two they all looked pretty normal, ravenous perhaps, but normal. So really anyone else would do. 

As the vampires took a step closer you began to shake. You’d tried being strong, tried not to think about what was to come but it was hard. Staring death in the face was more terrifying than you’d thought and actually you were a lot more cowardly than you’d thought too. You did not want to die. Which is probably what made what happened next so amazing. 

He came like a flash of lightning, quick, silent and deadly. He struck two of the normal looking ones first. Their heads detached from their bodies with sickening metallic screeches and then Jasper was in front of you, his unnecessary breathing heavy. 

“Are you alright there Darlin’?” He asked a wry grin on his lips despite the circumstances. 

“I thought you weren’t going to make it.” You confessed as your shaking began to subside. 

“I-” Jasper jumped suddenly, landing softly behind you, and if the sound was anything to go by, detaching another vampire head. 

At the exact same time the last of the normal looking vampires jumped at you, knocking you off your feet and snapping at your neck. Suddenly she was ripped off you with a deafening growl. 

“Stay there.” Ordered a commanding voice with a thick southern drawl. 

Major. You thought. These vamps are fucked.

“Yes sir.” You replied, breathless and relieved. 

The Major grinned widely at you, eyes flashing as he ripped apart the vampire limb by limb hardly exerting any effort. 

“Now.” He said turning to the remaining two, the burly male and the sadistic female, the wide grin still stretched across his face, “Who’s next?”

It all happened so quickly. The male lunged forwards, severely underestimating the Major’s abilities and found himself sans a head faster than you could blink. He hadn’t even got within an inch of you. 

The female was much more careful after that. She made calculated lunges which, when paired with the Major’s response, ended up looking like an elaborate dance. 

The Major batted her away every time like a cat playing with a mouse. It was only a matter of time before he tired of the game, as soon as the female darted under his arm he turned and removed her head from her body in one swift motion. 

Faster than a bullet he darted around the clearing, picking up the vampires remains and piling them together before setting them alight. Then calmly and somewhat suavely if you did say so yourself, he walked over to you and offered you a hand. You took it instantly. 

You stood in front of him, breathing deeply as you looked into his eyes, waiting to see what was going to happen next. 

“Alright there sugar?” He asked. 

“Much better for seeing you again Major.” You replied with a grin. 

He smiled, lighting up his face and yet not ruining his commanding demeanour. “Well now, I couldn’t let Jasper have all the fun could I? After all, you’re my mate too, it’s my duty to defend and protect you.” 

Monsta X Kissing Styles

****************************************************************************************************

Thanks for the request!! <3

-these are all my opinion, I have never actually kissed the members personally, therefore they are probably not actually true-

-gifs not mine-

****************************************************************************************************

Shownu: Though he seems like a pretty shy guy, once he was comfortable with you he would most likely be the one in control of the kiss.

-Type: What I could think of for him was an ADD kisser, having so many different techniques and wanting to show you every single one of them.

Wonho: He is no doubt the dominant one. He would seem to get over excited which would make him move pretty fast with it all, probably trying to remove your clothing within the first minute.

-Type: He seems like a biter to me. I mean look at him, that is all. Just look at him.

Minhyuk: He would be a caring kisser, making sure not to cross any of your boundaries and probably asking before he kissed you for permission.

-Type: I was thinking mostly a “no-tongue kisser” but when it got hot and heavy he would make sure to use his skill full tongue.

Kihyun: He would also ask you if he could kiss you before he actually did too though when you say yes he would blow your mind with his skill.

-Type: I think he would also be a biter but in a more subtle way.

Hyungwon: He would be pretty over active, hands grabbing everywhere while your were kissing.

-Type: Huge lipped kisser. This one pretty much explains itself.

Jooheon: He would be down for letting you take control, giving you chances to impress him with your skill.

-Type: He would probably like lip biting as well. Though maybe more if you were doing the biting.

I.M: Where do you start with this boy, he would probably be a lip virgin. Allowing you to take more of the control as well since he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

-Type: The open eye kisser, probably because he was so excited about it he would want to see your face. Hopefully not in a creepy way.

****************************************************************************************************

I was pretty nervous about doing this one but this was really fun to make! lol So thanks to the anon for leaving this one! <3

Thanks for reading! If you liked it then go follow me and leave a suggestion in my box.

p.s. It took me three different times to post this so that’s why it took so long. sorry!

Chapter 1: Another Evening of Work

Fic Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Genre: a lot of fluff, recovery, really fucking domestic, waiter!Phil

Warnings: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, hospitals, panic attacks, references to past abuse, a lot of awkwardness. This is potentially triggering so for your own sake, please think twice about reading if anything this might affect you.

Disclaimer: I don’t have personal experience with eating disorders, but have done some research. If I have anything about them wrong, feel free to send me an ask and I’ll sort it out.

Word Count (for this part): 7.6k

[Uploads will be approximately every week!]

MASTERPOST


Today was yet another day, another day of working in the restaurant, serving endless streams of customers. Many of our customers would be out on dates with their soulmates, or with others in attempt to find their soulmates. I can’t say I wasn’t a little jealous. I wished I’d found my soulmate already because I felt they needed me.

Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick. It was a relatively common link we had, it came with worry and the thought of ‘they’re sick’. However, what was different for me, was that my soulmate did not just get sick once or twice a year, they threw up almost every day, sometimes multiple times.

When it started I wasn’t incredibly worried because I presumed they just had a stomach bug, but as the weeks went on I realised that there was something bigger wrong. I told my friend, Chris about it, as he’d noticed there was something bothering me. He tried his best to console me, but even he started to get worried. What was there that could make someone sick, day in and day out for over a month?

Keep reading

[Miraculous Ladybug]: It’s a Match!

life and secret santa drama kept me away from this for a few days. sorry about that! good news is that this is the result of me chopping a chapter in two, so next update should come quicker. 

continuation of my Secret Santa gift for @neverbetheexpectation  (i guess it’s turning into a New Years’ fic? lol)

[Chapter 1]  [Chapter 2]

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: It’s a Match!

Summary: “Oh my God, I just matched with Adrien Agreste, oh my freaking God! Chat!! Chat, come come come! Look look!”

But Chat Noir wasn’t paying her any mind. Because the moment she started screaming about her new match, Chat Noir tried to quickly exit out of his matches page so that he wouldn’t see who popped up. But it was far too late, because right when he blinked, his phone buzzed with an excited message about his new match.

He was not expecting it to be Marinette Dupain-Cheng.


Chapter 3: Impulsive


Marinette’s phone slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor.

Adrien really wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad sign, but Marinette was definitely not saying anything, and she was staring at him like he had just sacrificed an infant in front of her.

He was afraid he might’ve broken her.

A laugh came bubbling from the kitchen and Adrien’s eyes widened in horror when he realized that Marinette’s father was still in the kitchen and had likely heard his entire outburst. He immediately clamped a hand over his mouth and watched Tom quickly push all the dishes into the sink and tighten the sash on the back of his baking apron. He didn’t look angry so Adrien supposed that was a good sign, but he realized that asking out someone’s daughter in front of them was probably in poor taste and grounds to potentially get him killed . Adrien stood up straight, clasped his hands behind his back, and muttered. “Uh….h-hello. Sir. Um. I wasn’t — I mean I was just.” He cleared his throat. “H-Hi.”

Tom chuckled to himself, walked around the island and patted Adrien on the head. “I think I’ll leave the two of you alone and help Sabine downstairs. Enjoy your lunches.” He confused Adrien further by sending him a little wink before he scurried down to the bakery and left him alone with Marinette.

Who still….wasn’t moving.

Okay, so he anticipated this would go a heck of a lot differently. Oh well.

Marinette’s mouth was moving, but words weren’t coming out, and Adrien was really hoping that this was a normal reaction to asking a girl out, otherwise he was ready to just bolt out of the bakery and jump into the Seine to spare himself the shame.

Adrien’s smile came out more pained than he meant for it to. “Um….so this is usually the part where you say yes or no.”

Keep reading