in this world your the only one i see

I’m pissed off at neurotypical society. I want to get this off my chest and stand up for the autistic community all in one go. This rant can apply to society’s view of disability in general because disabled people who aren’t autistic will understand where I’m coming from. 

Disability carries a stigma that someone who is neurotypical and able-bodied cannot experience or understand unless they become disabled themselves. Disability itself is something society has been taught to fear and hate. 

Well, it’s time for me to throw down and speak up. This is what neurotypical society looks like to me. You are not going to like this picture. Too freaking bad! My voice matters and I’ve got something to say.

I am so tired of neurotypical society holding autistic people to standards it won’t define, won’t explain and won’t teach us about.

I am so tired of that same neurotypical society punishing autistic people for not meeting these nebulous standards like it’s our fault.

There are times when autistic people mess up, yes. Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. Mistakes are good and we should make more of them. It’s how we learn.

But at least 90% of that messing up is because neurotypical society leads us into messing up and then punishes us for it.

Autistic people are expected to reach up for goals while the neurotypicals keep lifting them up beyond reach like the tall bully kid dangling something over a shorter kid and raising it up higher every time the short kid jumps up to grab their stuff back. 

It’s very rare for neurotypicals to help us reach that thing the tall kid is dangling over our heads. No, autistic people have to do all the struggling, reaching and fighting while neurotypicals sit and watch and laugh.

Society, look at yourself and stop blaming autistic people for not meeting your impossible standards.

Society, look at yourself and stop moving the goalposts because you don’t like how autistic people approach them.

Society, look at yourself and stop punishing autistic people because we can’t inherently see the expectations you claim are so obvious– because if something was as obvious as you claim it is, we would notice! Autistic people are Fleet Admirals at Obviousness! Fleet Admiral is the highest rank you can get in the Navy, by the way, so you can’t get more obvious than that!

My point is the only obvious thing I see here is most of you neurotypicals don’t care to learn or communicate with me in my world– the autistic world– yet you expect me to learn, function, communicate with you and survive in yours. I’m always twisting myself into unnatural positions for you, yet you won’t even try to do the same for me.

Autistic people are always the ones inconveniencing themselves to please neurotypicals, but neurotypicals won’t inconvenience themselves to help autistic people.

Yes, I meant what I said. We have to please you, but you don’t want to help us.

How is that fair, society? Huh? How is that fair?

The human brain is so fucking wild guys - do you know there’s only one tiny bit of your vision that’s actually clear? It’s in the very centre of your pupil, in a bit called the fovea. The only reason you think you see the world clearly is because your eye moves enough to get dozens of snapshots of the world around you, and then your brain instantaneously sews all of those images together to create a single, stable image

Neurons are capable of structuring themselves in such a way that information can be stored in them for DECADES, and we still don’t really understand the physical process behind this 

You can hear something ENTIRELY DIFFERENT to the actual auditory information you’re receiving, because you’re brain is so efficient at integrating data that it can take visual cues from the environment and use it to alter what sounds you perceive as you’re receiving them, that’s what you actually hear words more clearly when there are subtitles. 

I can say the sentence “A giant purple mechanical octopus with yellow spots doing the waltz with Godzilla as they’re fired upon by military helicopters to no avail”, and that image now exists in your mind despite the fact that you’ve never physically witnessed that scene 

Not to mention that fact that statistically, you’ve never heard that sentence before but you still understood exactly what I was saying because language is so incredibly versatile that it can be used to create an infinite number unique and perfectly valid sentences. Even though English only has 44 fucking phonemes

It’s 5 am guys, I’ve been up for that last three hours untangling yarn and I can’t even begin to fathom the thought process that. For the rest of my life there’s going to be a tiny, physical piece of my brain that exists solely to link the thought of The Adventure Zone to the memory trying to pick some stupid knot that somehow only gets tighter as you attempt to loosen it. how the fuck 

Witchgrass

Something
comes into the world unwelcome
calling disorder, disorder—

If you hate me so much
don’t bother to give me
a name: do you need
one more slur
in your language, another
way to blame
one tribe for everything—

as we both know,
if you worship
one god, you only need
one enemy—

I’m not the enemy.
Only a ruse to ignore
what you see happening
right here in this bed,
a little paradigm
of failure. One of your precious flowers
dies here almost every day
and you can’t rest until
you attack the cause, meaning
whatever is left, whatever
happens to be sturdier
than your personal passion—

It was not meant
to last forever in the real world.
But why admit that, when you can go on
doing what you always do,
mourning and laying blame,
always the two together.

I don’t need your praise
to survive. I was here first,
before you were here, before
you ever planted a garden.
And I’ll be here when only the sun and moon
are left, and the sea, and the wide field.

I will constitute the field.

Louise Glück, “Witchgrass,” The Wild Iris (Ecco Press, an imprint of HarperCollins, 1992)

5

lance! you’re too! close! [part 3]

sorry i post in the middle of the night im a moon gremlin who lives in a late time zone and sleeps all day

if you can’t read my handwriting, here is lance’s monologue

Keep reading

100 ways to say “I love you”:
1. You are beautiful.
2. I love your smile.
3. Here, let me get that for you.
4. I love seeing you wake up in the morning.
5. You are amazing.
6. I love (this) about you:
7. Stay safe. Text me when you get there.
8. I love when you do (this):
9. I think you’re beautiful when:
10. You’re too good for me.
11. I don’t deserve you.
12. I care about you.
13. Don’t put yourself down like that.
14. I adore you.
15. I can’t stop thinking about you.
16. Seeing you makes me smile.
17. I need you by my side.
18. I’m thankful for you.
19. You make me a better person.
20. You complete me.
21. Have a good day at work!
22. You’re the light of my life.
23. Seeing you makes my day.
24. I get butterflies every time we talk.
25. I’m so lucky to have you; I don’t know how I got so lucky.
26. You set my heart on fire.
27. I’ll walk you home.
28. I love to make you happy.
29. You’re my soulmate.
30. You’re my best friend.
31. I can’t wait to see you (again).
32. You mean the world to me.
33. You’re my rock.
34. I value you.
35. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
36. I love being around you.
37. Pull over and let me drive some.
38. Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.
39. I want you.
40. You complete me.
41. You’re my happiness.
42. Do you need anything?
43. I want to hold your hand and never let go.
44. You’re the only one for me.
45. You are my heaven on earth.
46. Every time I look at you I fall in love all over again.
47. Drive safe.
48. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
49. Forever isn’t too long, because I know I’ll be with you.
50. I’d rather argue with you than kiss someone else.
51. You look great today.
52. I love that _______ on you.
53. You look cute when you push your glasses up.
54. I’ll always be here; I’m here for you.
55. My heart hurts when you’re not around.
56. I can’t think of what my life would be like without you.
57. We’re perfect for each other.
58. I cherish you; you’re more important than anything else in my life.
59. I will love you until I die, and even after.
60. You’re mine.
61. I support you.
62. I’m addicted to you.
63. You’re perfect in my eyes.
64. Take this; it’ll help you feel better.
65. I can’t wait to see you.
66. You’re the only one for me.
67. I’m crazy about you.
68. I had an amazing time with you.
69. I feel so lucky to have you.
70. I’ll never let you go; I’ll never want to.
71. I hope this moment never ends.
72. You leave me breathless.
73. I’d do anything for you.
74. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
75. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.
76. You always find a way to make me smile.
77. I can’t put what I feel for you into words; it’s too great.
78. I still get jealous even though I know you’re mine.
79. I’m listening to you.
80. I made this for you, I know it’s your favorite.
81. I’m excited and nervous for tonight with you.
82. I got you your favorite candy.
83. I’ll always care about you.
84. I made you breakfast.
85. I can never stay mad at you.
86. I love your eyes; they’re gorgeous.
87. I love that outfit on you.
88. You look so cute.
89. You’re the highlight of my day.
90. How’d you sleep?
91. Your smile makes my heart go crazy.
92. I hate seeing you cry.
93. It’s my job to make you happy.
94. I want to spend more time with you.
95. I’ll fix it.
96. I hate when we argue.
97. You’re the only person I want to live my life with.
98. You drive me crazy (in a good way).
99. I’m proud of you.
100. I trust you, I always will.

- L.L.
—  via @thoughtlessinspirationss on tumblr
oscar wilde quotes for the signs

Aries: I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”

Taurus: ”If a man treats a life artistically, his brain is his heart.”

Gemini: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." 

Cancer: ”To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.“

Leo: Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies and your roses.”

Virgo: Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

Libra:  "Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary." 

Scorpio: “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

Sagittarius: “I can resist anything, except temptation.”

Capricorn: "Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”

Aquarius: ”To define is to limit”

Pisces:The secret to remaining young is to never have an emotion that is unbecoming”

IF YOU’RE THINKING OF SUICIDE

On May 16th 2015 I tried to kill myself by swallowing 3 bottles of pills and it was the biggest mistake of my life. You’ve got one shot, and this is it. I know your world may be confusing and extremely hard right now but the chaos is worth living through, I promise. Nobody can predict the future, but I know for a fact that the overwhelming sadness buried deep inside your chest will fade away to nothing and one day you will be happy. You will love life so much. I know it’s hard to see the light when you’re surrounded by darkness but I swear to you that it’s there, you get closer to it everyday that you wake up and give life another try. No pain lasts forever, and your worst days only last 24 hours. Your life is precious, don’t ever think its not. Please keep fighting, take it day by day.

Hi guys! Here’s a little masterpost of quotes from children’s books that you can use in your bullet journal, or anywhere else you feel like!

THE LITTLE PRINCE (ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY)

  • “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
  • “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
  • “You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed.” 
  • “You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them…In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night…You - only you - will have stars that can laugh.”
  • “Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them”
  • “A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” 

A LITTLE PRINCESS (FRANCES HODGSON BURNETT)

  • “If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.”
  • “When you will not fly into a passion people know you are stronger than they are, because you are strong enough to hold in your rage, and they are not, and they say stupid things they wish they hadn’t said afterward. “
  • “There’s nothing so strong as rage, except what makes you hold it in–that’s stronger. It’s a good thing not to answer your enemies.”
  • “If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that–warm things, kind things, sweet things–help and comfort and laughter–and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all.”
  • “Somehow, something always happens just before things get to the very worst. It is as if Magic did it. If I could only just remember that always. The worse thing never quite comes.”
  • “But I suppose there might be good in things, even if we don’t see it.”
  • “You don’t forget, but you bear it better.” 

LITTLE WOMEN (LOUISA MAY ALCOTT)

  • “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
  • “It’s wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can’t have the one you want.”
  • “Love is a great beautifier.” 
  • “Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”
  • “I want to do something splendid…something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead. I don’t know what, but I’m on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday.” 
  • “Conceit spoils the finest genius.” 
  • “Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.”
  • “Life and love are very precious when both are in full bloom.”
  • “The only chivalry worth having is that which is the readiest to to pay deference to the old, protect the feeble, and serve womankind, regardless of rank, age, or color.”
  • “Books are always good company if you have the right sort.”
  • “The humblest tasks get beautified if loving hands do them.”
  • “Now and then, in this workaday world, things do happen in the delightful storybook fashion, and what a comfort that is.”

MATLIDA (ROALD DAHL)

  • “So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.” 
  • “Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable…” 
  • “I have found it impossible to talk to anyone about my problems. I couldn’t face the embarrassment, and anyway I lack the courage. Any courage I had was knocked out of me when I was young. But now, all of sudden I have a sort of desperate wish to tell everything to somebody.”
  • “I’ve always said to myself that if a little pocket calculator can do it why shouldn’t I?”
  • “There is little point in teaching anything backwards. The whole object of life, Headmistress, is to go forwards.”
  • “I’m afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are.”

THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH (NORTON JUSTER)

  • “So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.”
  • “Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”
  • “Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life. ”
  • “You must never feel badly about making mistakes … as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.”
  • “The most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what’s in between.”
  • “What you can do is often simply a matter of what you will do.”
  • “What you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover all the wonderful secrets of tomorrow.”
  • “Whatever we learn has a purpose and whatever we do affects everything and everyone else, if even in the tiniest way.”

THE GOLDEN COMPASS (PHILIP PULLMAN)

  • “You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”
  • “We are all subject to the fates. But we must act as if we are not, or die of despair.”
  • “Every opportunity will come again.”
Best Lines From Each Hamilton Song

Alexander Hamilton: You could never back down, you never learned to take your - TIME

Aaron Burr, Sir: Talk Less. Smile More.

My Shot: I think ya pants look hot ;)

The Story of Tonight: Raise a glass to freedom…

Schuyler Sisters: You want a revolution? I want a revelation!

Farmer Refuted: Is he in Jersey?

You’ll Be Back: I will kill your friends and family… to remind you of, my, love DA DA DA D-

Right Hand Man: Burr! Sir? Close the door on your way out.

Winters Ball: If you could marry a sister, you’re rich son. Is it a question of if Burr, or which one?

Helpless: Laughing at my sister cause she wants to form a harem: I’m just saying if you really loved me you would share him. HA!

Satisfied: … He’d be mine. She would say “I’m fineshe’d be lying.

The Story of Tonight (Reprise): You are the worst, Burr

Wait For It: When they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect 

Stay Alive: I’m a general. WEEE!!

Ten Duel Commandents: Okay so we’re doing this

That Would Be Enough: And if this child shares a fraction of your smile, or a fragment of your mind, look out world, that would be enough.

Guns And Ships: No one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical BRILLIANCE.

History Has Its Eyes On You: You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story.

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down): Immigrants, we get the job done.

What Comes Next: Awesome. Wow.

Dear Theodosia: I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll make a million mistakes.

Nonstop: Hamilton wrote THE OTHER FIFTY-ONE

What’d I Miss?: I guess I basically missed the late 80’s.

Cabinet Battle #1: Turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits.

Take a Break: You’ve written “My Dearest, Angelica…. “

Say No To This: That was my wife who you decided to- fuuu

The Room Where It Happens: The art of the compromise, hold your nose and close your eyes.

Schuyler Defeated: They don’t need to know me they don’t like you.

Cabinet Battle #2: You must be outta your GODDAMN MIND

Washington On Your Side: SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS!!!

One Last Time: I’m sorry wha-?

I Know Him: They will tear each other into pieces, Jesus Christ this will be fun :D

Adams Administration: Siddown John YOU FAT MOTHER——

We Know: My god…

Hurricane: … We were sick and she was holding me, I couldn’t seem to die.

The Reynolds Pamphlet: You could never be satisfied, god I hope your satisfied.

Burn: You, you, you

Blow Us All Away: Everything is legal in New Jersey…

Stay Alive (Reprise): I know, you did everything just right.

It’s Quiet Uptown: Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

The Election of 1800: Well I’ll be damned…

Your Obedient Servant: Here’s an itemised list of thirty years of disagreements. Sweet Jesus

The World Was Wide Enough: America, you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: Oh I can’t wait to see you again, it’s only a matter of time.


Bonus Songs:

Congratulations: You know why Jefferson can do what he wants? He doesn’t dignify schoolyard taunts with a response

Dear Theodosia (Reprise): We bleed and fight for you, sometimes it seems that’s all we do.

Ten Things, One Thing (I genuinely can’t decide between these five so here you go):

- The sun is in my eyes. I am almost giddy as I watch it slowly rise over my New York City.

- I examine the gun that we shared. Philip never hurt a soul, he must have been so scared.

- I feel a sense of calm fill me, it’s not in his political interest to kill me.

- My Eliza is still asleep. I left her a letter, I could have written it better.

- They put us through our paces, we count to ten. God, I can’t wait to see her again.


Just a quick note to say I didn’t forget Tomorrow There’ll Be More of Us, I just decided against including it because, in Lin’s own words, it’s more of a scene than a song. Really it’s just the The Story of Tonight sung over some quite, uneventful dialouge (very poetic given the content of that dialouge) so I decided to just leave it out. Anyways thanks for reading my random post I guess? Bye bye

prongswhatthefuck2  asked:

What are some good tips for getting started with writing a book? I have a concept but i can't put it into place.

Getting Started with Your Story

There’s no one way to start writing a book. For some people, it’s enough to just jump in and start writing to see where the story takes them. If you’re not too keen on that idea, then here is one process (as in, not the only process) that might help you move beyond your concept. 

  • Concept ≠ Plot

Many writers mistake concept for plot, but they’re actually two very different things. A world where everyone grows up with superpowers is a concept; the plot is what you decide to write about within that concept - the specific characters and what happens to those characters; who your antagonist is and what conflict arises when that antagonist goes after what they want. All of these things contribute to your plot. 

So first, define what it is you actually have at this particular point. Do you just have a concept? If so, you’ll need to take the necessary steps to develop that concept into a plot. 

  • Concept >>> Plot

If you’ve decided that all you really have is a concept, then how do you take it and turn it into a plot? You brainstorm. All brainstorming really amounts to is expanding your ideas. All you’re doing is asking questions about the concept and delving deep into the answers. 

The most simplistic way to start this process, especially if you’re struggling, is to ask one of two questions (or both, if applicable). These two questions: What could go wrong? What could go right?

Going back to my example about a world where everyone grows up with superpowers. If I were to ask the question “what could go wrong,” I’d end up with a whole list of possibilities. 

  • The powers suddenly disappear
  • People start abusing their powers
  • Someone figures out how to steal powers
  • A hierarchy of strong vs. weak powers develops, creating superiority/inferiority dynamics
  • Someone is born without a superpower

There are many more possibilities I didn’t even think of here, but any one (or more) of these could become a plot. Choose one that sounds interesting, and then ask yourself “and then what?” 

Say I choose: Someone figures out how to steal powers. Then what does that person do? Do they recruit people to do the dirty work for them? Do they work alone? Do they hoard these powers and barter them for other goods? Do they attempt to enslave people? Do they attempt to take control of institutions? What do they do?

Your goal is to take your ideas and turn them into actions taken by characters. People doing things. And each piece you add will usually lead into another. If you went with the idea that this character is stealing powers and essentially selling them for other goods, you’d have to ask yourself follow-up questions. First, who are they selling to? Why would anyone buy a new superpower if they already have one? What uses would they have for additional ones? What is the key demographic that this person is trying to reach? Secondly, what are they selling them in exchange for? Money? Favors? Souls? What is this character getting in return?

Now that you’ve examined potential actions that the character takes, you’ve also exposed potential new characters. 

  • People they’re stealing from
  • People they’re bargaining with
  • People that try to police these crimes
  • People that try to copy this character’s process

At the beginning of this section, I talked about using “what could go right” as another optional jumping off point. This is a good path to follow if your concept is already really negative. For a concept where someone is killing people for some pointed reason, you might ask “what could go right” and explore ideas where the killer is caught and brought to justice. 

The point of all this is to think about change as a means of taking your idea from concept to plot. A concept is static - it doesn’t move, evolve, or change. By developing a plot, you’re forcing the concept to be challenged in some way. If you think about it that way, you’ll be able to formulate conflicts, and the people that orchestrate and fight against those conflicts. 

On that note, I think we’re ready to move onto the third piece of my graphic above. 

  • Plot = Character Actions and Consequences

At this point, you have sketches for characters. You’ve got this nameless, faceless person that is stealing the powers, and all these other nameless, faceless people that I listed above. In essence, we have character concepts. And just like we turned our initial concept into a plot, we have to turn these character concepts into actual characters. 

The basics are the easiest way to start. You figure out their name, their gender identity, their age, their appearance, some brief backstory and personality traits. I personally prefer the simplest questionnaire that I put together back in the early days because it hits on the poignant pieces of a character without overwhelming you with 100s of questions. 

Now that you’ve given your character concepts names and faces and potential behaviors, you start to consider how one character’s view of the world inspires them to take certain actions, and you then think about how those actions affect your entire story. 

We already kind of talked about the motives of the power thief in our example, but definitely delve deep here. On the surface, this character seems bad - stealing from people and then selling what they steal. But depending on what it is they’re getting in return, could we not argue that this character is a supernatural Robin Hood? Maybe instead of selling, they’re giving, and maybe the characters they’re stealing powers from are people that abuse and misuse their powers. Character motives can take a plot and turn it on its head, forcing you to reconceptualize everything. And that’s okay! That’s part of the process.

But separate from that idea, if we have a character concept of someone whose powers were stolen, and after developing their basic backstory, we discover that person’s name is Rose, and she has an especially close relationship with her brother. So when her powers are stolen, how does this affect her life? Was she using her powers to keep her brother alive and protected? What she using them to keep a roof over their heads? Was she using them as part of her job, as a means of providing? What happens to her life when her powers are stolen? And what will Rose do about it? Whatever Rose does will impact the story. If she does nothing to get her powers back, how does she solve her problems and does that make for a good story? If she does decide to act, then you’ve moved onto a new plot point to dive deeper into.

My point is, character concepts come from plots, but characters themselves often create plot, as their decisions and mistakes and successes create new outcomes. So if I could modify my original flow chart:

Before you develop something, you conceptualize it. You have a concept, then you make it a plot. You have concepts for characters, then you make them characters. And those characters end up driving your plot, to the point that this happens:

Plot inspires character. Character inspires plot. And it just keeps going around and around and around. Breaking it down into these pieces helps organize the process, but developing a story is rarely this neat and tidy. You’ll get ideas that don’t make sense, ideas that aren’t cohesive, characters you don’t need, characters that piss you off, problems you can’t solve, or plot points you’ve committed to that you no longer like…it will be messy. But it’s your mess, and the more you work on developing your own process, the more it’ll make sense to you. And it’ll become easier to know how to go about fixing it when something’s not right. 

Have fun with this process! It’s supposed to be fun. When the pieces start to become clearer, you’re able to put them together in a rough outline. And once you have a rough outline, you can start writing, and really see it take shape. 

-Rebekah

Thirteen Reasons Why - Explained

Thirteen Reasons Why

I’ve seen a lot of posts about Hannah being a ‘drama queen’ or overreacting to small things everyone did so I thought I’d explain a bit about what I understood.

1. Justin - Justin exaggerated what he and Hannah did. While this seems mild, it set Hannah up for a terrible high school career because she earned the reputation of 'slut’. This happens so often in schools and in the adult world and can RUIN someone’s life in a certain, if not all areas.

2. Alex - Alex put Hannah as having the best ass against Jessica as the worst. It is clear that the internet is doing its thing again and not taking time to understand things properly; this was NOT A COMPLIMENT AND HANNAH HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. It was a clear violation of friendship and an obvious example of men pitting women against each other for their own benefit.

3. Jessica - I’m going more by the book here, but Jessica was on the tapes because she didn’t believe Hannah and abandoned her when she needed her. A clear example of how people can easily be lead by others and girls turning on each other because of guys. Jessica deserved to be on the tapes because she didn’t hear Hannah’s side of the story and instead took her anger out on her first friend at the school.

4. Tyler - I don’t think I need to explain much about this, but he abused his position as a photographer in school to violate boundaries for his own pleasure similar to how a lot of people in a power exploit those below them. He made Hannah feel vulnerable and took the lack of comfort she felt at school to her own bedroom.

5. Courtney - I suppose this is kind of harder to understand. Courtney was a closeted lesbian and therefore it is understandable that she was upset at the thought of her being outed before she was ready, but Hannah confided in her to help her expose someone else and instead she protected herself by further ruining Hannah. This shows the selfishness of those who feel the need to protect themselves by harming others.

6. Marcus - I haven’t seen much on Marcus honestly, but I dislike him immensely. He took advantage of Hannah because of the impression of her he had put together from rumours created by other reasons (Justin, Courtney) which is an expression of how men feel owed something from women, especially those who are seen as 'slutty’.

7. Zach - At first glance, Zach doesn’t seem too bad. At half a second glimpse, this changes. Hannah rejected him because he said something silly, a mistake, and if he had made an obvious effort to explain and apologise, he could have helped Hannah. Instead, he chooses to punish her by preventing her from receiving happiness from others. This is one of the clearest examples of how men can’t handle a woman’s right to say 'no’ and reject him…

8. Ryan - This tape is similar to that of Tyler in that he made her feel unsafe. What Tyler did was worse than Ryan, however the effect of Ryan’s actions had (in my opinion) worse consequences that Tyler’s. Ryan published her poem because he thought it was something that needed to be shared, a selfish and naive action (when considering the maturity of high school students), which meant that Hannah’s personal thoughts were no longer her own. She was not comfortable at school, home or in her own mind.

9. Clay - Though I agree when Hannah states that he shouldn’t have been on the tapes, Clay does represent 'everyone else’ who stands by and watched people like Hannah slowly fade and retreat into themselves because of the actions of others. The 'bystanders’ if you will, whose lack of part in our stories can be just as important as those who intrude on us.

10. Justin - It is evident in the series that Justin was extremely haunted by the rape at Jessica’s party and this is probably why he is gaining so much sympathy… this is also why I recommend you all READ THE BOOK. Justin stood by and watched his friend rape his girlfriend, why is he receiving more sympathy than I’ve seen for Jessica? Of course it was hard for Justin to witness that, but staying friends with Bryce and staying with Jessica without telling her is reason enough for him to be on the tapes again.

11. Jenny - Jenny was kind to Hannah, offering her a lift home, but she didn’t take responsibility for knocking down the stop sign which lead to someone’s DEATH. The guilt that Hannah was left with from this (because she was in the car) was understandably overwhelming, especially as the victim was a classmate who was blamed for drunk driving. Jenny is an example of how our reckless actions and lack of responsibility for them can destroy other lives; is that not the entire plot?

12. Bryce - Lord help you if you need an explaination.

13. Mr Porter - A perfect example of how there is not enough support out there for students (and people in general, honestly). The counsellor advising Hannah to 'move on’ after she confides in him that she was raped is one of the most haunting moments in the entire series, solidifying her reason for suicide- she had no comfort amongst her classmates, in her own home, in her mind and now, the specialist designated for dealing with situations like this bore no real interest in her problems and told her to 'move on’.

It’s extremely important for us when watching shows with topics like this to remember many things.

First, the show is not just this situation. Everything represents something more in society; each tape side is a problem in the world that leads to suicide, not only a small action by one character leading to Hannah Baker’s suicide. If you need help in understanding this, or want something else similar to this story, I recommend watching or reading 'An Inspector Calls’ by J.B. Priestly- a masterful piece tackling classism/sexism and how each person’s seemingly small actions lead to a girl’s suicide.

Second, memes are sometimes funny. The 'Clay every time he sees Tony’ memes are really funny, the 'fuck off, Courtney’ memes are funny, but the 'welcome to your tape over a slight inconvenience’ memes, they’re not. The show is raising awareness for the seriousness of suicide, not to create a fanbase of jokes about it. Promoting these after you watch the show, is a clear statement that you haven’t understood why it was made and is completely unacceptable.

Third, separate the character from the actor. Justin Prentice is NOT Bryce Walker, do not spam his comments with disgusting name calling or threatening- this is CLEARLY wrong and unnecessary. This also works the other way: Brandon Flynn is NOT Justin Foley. Just because Brandon is attractive and nice, doesn’t mean his character becomes as such.

Please don’t turn 13 reasons why into another generic element of pop culture. I love pop culture, don’t get me wrong, but we have a tendency to begin digging for meaning and giving up halfway; overusing the profound starting points of progress we find by loosely throwing them around, emptying them of all meaning.

5

Malcolm X and Maya Angelou in Ghana, 1964.

Malcolm X on his last visit to Accra had announced a desire to create a foundation he called the Organization of Afro-American Unity. His proposal included taking the plight of the African-Americans to the United Nations and asking the world council to intercede on the part of beleaguered blacks. The idea was so stimulating to the community of African-American residents that I persuaded myself I should return to the States to help establish the organization. 

We all read Malcolm’s last letter to me.

Dear Maya,

I was shocked and surprised when your letter arrived but I was also pleased because I only had to wait two months for this one whereas previously I had to wait almost a year. You see I haven’t lost my wit. (smile)

Your analysis of our people’s tendency to talk over the head of the masses in a language that is too far above and beyond them is certainly true. You can communicate because you have plenty of (soul) and you always keep your feet firmly rooted on the ground.

I am enclosing some articles that will give you somewhat of an idea of my daily experiences here and you will then be better able to understand why it sometimes takes me a long time to write. I was most pleased to learn that you might be hitting in this direction this year. You are a beautiful writer and a beautiful woman. You know that I will always do my utmost to be helpful to you in any way possible so don’t hesitate.

Signed
Your brother Malcolm 

(Excerpt from Maya Angelou’s memoir A Song Flung Up To Heaven)

Being Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Daughter...
  • Lin would cry the day you were born but he would also brag a lot.
  • He’d shower you with gifts but he was also careful not to overdo it
  • Chances are, (depending on your age and whatever year you’d picture this for) you’d be friends with a lot of the Hamilton cast/ and or their kids
  • There’s no doubt about it you’d be a freestyling genius much like him and musically talented.
  • And Lin would be so proud of this
  • Lin’s heart would melt every time you called him ‘dad’
  • He is probably one of the most caring, sweetest, and involved father out there.
  • And if your mother wasn’t in the picture, Lin would be sure to work to fill in her shoes.
  • He would attend all your school events and extra curriculars too.
  • On mother’s day he would plan a brunch inviting his sister and mother over making sure you knew you weren’t alone when it came to the amount of females in your life.
  • Whenever he goes to Richard Rodgers Theatre or goes to work for whatever project he’s working on he is constantly pulling his phone out to show his fellow coworkers pictures of you
  • He can’t help it
  • But one thing is for sure, Lin would make sure you knew how strong of a woman you were. Being a strong activist for equal rights Lin knew how easy it was for girls in today’s society to feel weak and defeated by the powerful and he never wanted you to experience that. So he would make post-it notes and stick them in your lunchbox, on your mirror, and anywhere he could find with sayings such as…
  • “I am woman hear me roar!”
    “Though she be but little, she is fierce!”
    “A strong woman looks fear in the eye and gives it but a wink.”
    “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”
  • And because your father is one of the most encouraging and inspiring figures in the world, not only in tweets but reality as well, he excels at giving the best, most needed pep talks when you’re down in the dumps.
  • Lin had you speaking Spanish as soon as you said your first word
  • Lin would practically document your entire life. He liked taping you and taking pictures while you were doing casual activities such as coloring, singing, dancing, playing with your dolls, running around the house, etc.
  • Tobillo basically being your best friend
  • That dog follows you wherever you go
  • Lin has thousands of videos from when you were learning to walk, practically waddling around and Tobillo was right on your heel the entire time following you.
  • The whole Hamilton cast would be obsessed with you
  • Especially Phillipa
  • That girl loved you as if you were her own
  • And if you were old enough, you would join the Schuyler Sisters in their inbetween shows closet talk.
  • Sleep overs at Jasmine and Anthony’s while your dad is out of town
  • And they would absolutely LOVE having you over
  • You made them want to have kids that much more and Anthony loved taking you to the movies and Jasmine loved taking you out shopping
  • Speaking of shopping, Renee, Jasmine, and Phillipa are always spoiling you with the newest trends and what nots.
  • The Hamilton cast would be like another family to you
  • Always running around backstage with Groffsauce, who usually was assign babysitting duty.
  • The Schuyler sisters- as well as Leslie teaching you how to harmonize
  • Daveed loved helping you with your freestyling
  • You and him always got in heated battles- in good spirits of course
  • Playing childish games during intermission and between shows with Oak, Daveed, and Anthony.
  • Trying to braid your dad’s hair during his Hamilton days
  • Let’s be real, Lin would dedicate Dear Theodosia to you
  • And during Stay Alive (reprise) and It’s Quiet Uptown he had genuine tears pinching at his eyes as he fathomed the thought of losing you
  • But Lin would always run to you and spin you around every night after shows
  • The two of you would walk hand and hand together home and Lin would sing you to sleep every night
  • He’d love making you breakfast and basking in that domestic life
  • I could see him making some of the best pancakes in the world
  • And one morning when you were little, you convinced him to let you have a sip of his coffee
  • “Daddy, what’s that black stuff in there.”
    “It’s called coffee, bebé.”
    “Can I try some?”
    “Uh, I don’t think so, Y/n. You wouldn’t like it.”
    “Please, papi.”
    “Oh alright.”
  • Like he predicted, you hated it. The liquid burned your throat and young little you cried at the bitterness for at least a minute which broke Lin’s heart.
  • Lin would be the type of parent that would love to show you off to family and friends but when it came to posting pictures of you on social media, he usually made sure your face was covered, just to keep an element of privacy in his life.
  • But he does love tweeting stories about you or cute things that you do
  • Your childhood years would be a little hectic. Lin probably wouldn’t be around as much as he wants with filming, acting, composing and all but he would make an effort of a lifetime to be as involved as possible.
  • By your late teens you had already seen much of the world but that didn’t mean you were bored by any mean. Adventure was in your soul.
  • Lin would spend a lot of time with you during his time working with the film Moana. He liked to come to you to find inspiration.
  • Family trips to Disney World and Land
  • Lin is constantly trying to help you with his homework
  • “You know I was a teacher.”
  • Coming to him when you start learning about the American Revolution
  • “Well I mean you came to right person. I did write an entire musical about this stuff. Just use the album for a reference, it’s mostly accurate.”
  • Walking into your house one day after school infuriated as you set your pop quiz on the Schuyler Sisters in front of him, a large 9/10 circled with red pen.
  • “And I quote, I’m the oldest and the wittiest… My father has no sons… dad you cost me a perfect score! Why did you lie in the lyrics, I thought you said I could trust them!”
    “I’m sorry I forgot they had other siblings!”
  • Similar to your father, you swore like a sailor
  • Which also meant you were constantly getting scolded and death glares from your father who claims “He didn’t raise you to speak like that.” Even though you both know he did.
  • But honestly I could see Lin being into girl drama. Like when he picks you up from school and sees an annoyed look on your face he’d just shake his head and say,
  • “Spill the tea, honey. I’m ready!”
  • And on your bad days after dropping you off at home after school, Lin would drive to the nearest DQ and Chick-Fil-A and movie store returning home with gifts in toll.
  • He was one of the only people in the world you trusted enough to tell everything too
  • Dad jokes, so many dad jokes.
  • “Dad I’m thirsty. Do we have any-“
    “Hi thirsty nice to meet you I’m Lin-Manuel.”
  • Being very close with your grandparents
  • Your grandpa teaching you how to cook
  • Your grandma would spoil you tbh
  • Girl talk with your Aunt Luz
  • Your dad would be really big on making sure you knew and understood the importance of equality and treating others with respect. 
  • Weekly meals at their place where your grandpa is also telling tales
  • “You know pequeño, when your father was your age I couldn’t get him to shut up!”
    “Papi-“
    “He was always doing his rapping, talking fast and never making sense but he had passion just like yourself so don’t you ever give up on yourself carino. If your father did he would not be where he is today- and neither would you.”
    “Thank you abuelo.”
  • And when you finally do make it, doing whatever or being wherever that may be, you’ll have Lin’s as well as the rest of your families support because Lin knows exactly what it feels like to have millions of people doubt you and laugh at you for doing the unexpected so his support will never run out.
  • When Lin finds out you have a passion for writing and composing, he immediately takes you with him for a daddy daughter date to the studio.
  • He pretends to be out of ideas for a song and you play along knowing it would be a lot less painful to take the easy path.
  • “Well there are a few different projects I’ve been working on lately. They aren’t too good… pretty shitty-“
    “Y/n.”
    “Sorry… but uh, you can have a look I suppose.”
  • Becoming a co writer beside your dad on his next project
  • Going on walks and hikes together with Tobillo
  • But for real though Lin would be insanely protective over you
  • Like when it comes to you Lin always needs to know where you are and constantly has eyes on you
  • When you got your first boyfriend/girlfriend Lin would FLIP
  • You’d suddenly become a player in the game ’21 questions’ or more like 101 questions when it came to your dad
  • He demanded meeting your significant other and no matter the gender, he held his strong demeanor and hardly cracked a smile- well until he saw how happy you looked in their presence.
  • But eventually he’d come to term with it. Although he would always see you as his little girl, he knew you had to spread your wings and he was not about to hold you back from doing so.
  • And when you finally land a lead role on an upcoming Broadway show, Lin is ecstatic.
  • Every day he calls you to ask how rehearsals are going partly because he’s interested and excited for you but also because he remembers his restless days and nights where he’d come home so stressed he’d forget to eat for days. He didn’t want to see you go through the hardships he did.
  • Ironically enough the new production is held, opening night, in the same old theater you grew up in, Richard Rodgers. Home sweet home. 
  • And on opening night you can guarantee your father is sitting front row with four bouquets of various flowers surrounded by all your family and friends as well as a handful of the original and new Hamilton cast.
  • And he would cry. A lot.
  • But he would also be that dad that right before the show starts, as the lights are dimming, he stands up and shouts,
  • “Go Y/n!”
  • His proud dad tweets would be never ending that night
  • After the production he was sure to be the first backstage and the first to hug you.
  • “You did it, you did it! I’m so proud of you, mi ángel. Congratulations!”
  • You’d be lying to yourself if you said your dad didn’t have a surprise party planned for after the play because he did.
  • Not to be a downer but there would be days where Lin would cry himself to sleep thinking he hasn’t done enough, or given you the life you deserve. He worked himself far too hard to make sure you had everything you could ever need and knew you were loved, but sometimes he couldn’t help but fear the worst.
  • Although at times he can be overbearing, you wouldn’t want it anyway else.

This was so fun to write oh my lord, hope you enjoyed!

-Daizy xx

Dear future wife…

I been trying to figure out a way to write these words for like the past 5 years now. I think it’s because that’s when I turned 21, when things were fun for my peers but I was consciously dreaming on how to spend my life with you explicitly. I’ve been extremely patient while battling temptation from a world that tells me “fuck a wife” and “it’s cool to have a grip of girls” — yet I’ve still been roaming the ocean just to prove why waiting for you was worth my world. I can’t tell you how many nights I stayed up visualizing a life, one where I’d never leave your side. Can you imagine how many pieces of paper I balled up out of frustration because I thought I met you in someone else only to give my all, then end up back by myself.

See when you finally look into my eyes, I want you to know that I was the walking definition of persistence. No matter how many times I was told “just fuck these hoes” I resisted. Because I couldn’t imaging myself trading in a night for what’s missing. When you look at me I want you to see the queen within yourself that reflects from my pupils but penetrate your soul. A sight that magnifies your queendom, so if your love were particles and I was blind I could still see them.

You have no idea how many times in my mind you said, “I do” without me even meeting you.

This is beyond fate or a first date. My soul is so entangled in your spirit that even from heaven I can feel it. I need you to know that the last love I believed to be you stabbed me so intensely that life wasn’t worth living. However, your hand touched my faced and it was in that feeling that I found hope. The journey for you became my solace to exist, my reason to persist, my will to resist, my heart to risk.

Never forget I risked it all for you before you knew I risked it.

So no matter where you are in the universe, I’ll find you. No matter how long it takes, I’ll search for you. The reason why is because I can feel you too. You’re searching for me and you’re dealing with heartbreak, fake love, regrets, and setbacks. Once I find you, I’ll set back your setbacks. I’ll make you fall in love so deeply you’ll forget those regrets. Any fake love you’ve experienced will become realer than any HD romantic film you’ve experienced.

On that day you take my hand in marriage I’ll smile and say, “We’re married.” I’ll remind you that your love was always mine to carry. That the men you’ve experienced in your past was exactly what the universe needed you to experience to be the women you are now. I’ll kiss your forehead a million times, to make a million rhymes; you’ll lay next to me and I’ll write you a million lines on this same sheet of paper.

The love I give you as your Prince Charming will become realer than your reality. You’ll never need love as a supplement. Your smile will shine the darkest of days. Your aura will shine the darkest of ways. The love we create when we have children will validate every word I say. I’ll love you like the seeds you grow for 9 months, as if it were a 100 years and we were old and gray. I still hold your hand each and every day.

I don’t know when I’ll find you but I know when I do every single minute will be worth the lifetime you deserved to have me there while I desperately searched this desert.
Believe me when I say on that day we’ll be in love forever…

My future wife.

ACOTAR characters and their cakes

1.       RHYSAND

BECAUSE HONESTLY, HE’S THE HIGH LORD OF THE NIGHT COURT AND HE WANTS HIS CAKE TO BE PRETTY, NOT TO MENTION IT’S REALLY SWEET. NORMAL HUMAN BEING WOULD BE HAVING DIABETES BY NOW.

2.       FEYRE

SHE’S THE HIGH LADY. THE FIRST HIGH LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT OF ALL HISTORY. And this cake reminds her of Starfall and all its glory. She likes to share her cake, and guess what CASSIAN EATS THE WHOLE DAMN THING.

3.       MOR

YO IT’S THE MORRIGAN. SHE LIKES HER CAKE TO BE GORGEOUS AND FABULOUS AND PRETTY. NO ONE GETS A CHANCE TO TASTE IT. Probably Rhys stole one of those glitters just to make her mad. “I DON’T CARE IF YOU ARE THE HIGH LORD, PUT IT BACK RHYSAND OR I WILL STEP ON YOUR CAKE NOW I SWEAR TO CAULDRON!!”

4.       CASSIAN

HE’S THE BEST COOK IN THE SQUAD, AND HE MADE IT. HE LIKES HIS CAKE TO REPRESENT HIMSELF. DO NOT JUDGE. THIS CAKE IS THE MOST DELICIOUS THING IN THE WHOLE VELARIS. YOU JUST WAIT. He gets comment from Nesta like “What the fuq is that thing, Cassian” “Is that you on the cake, Cassian?”

5.       AZRIEL

HE SECRETLY LOVES THIS CAKE AND ALL ITS GOLD GLITTERS. When Cassian gets near it, he would hide his cake. HE ONLY OFFERS IT TO ELAIN DUH. “It’s okay Elain, you can have it all, I don’t need the cake”

6.       AMREN

OF COURSE THERE ARE JEWELRIES IN HER CAKE. SHE LIKES IT TO BE SPARKLING. IT’S HER FAVORITE CAKE EVER. One time Cassian put chicken feathers on the peacock’s head. Cassian end up banned from Amren’s apartment FOR LIKE 20 YEARS.

7.       NESTA

“WHO DARE COME NEAR MY CAKE? YOU SEE THAT PRETTY KNIFE? YEAH IT WILL BE ON YOUR NECK. CASSIAN, NO. GET OUT”

8.       ELAIN

The prettiest cake in the world. SHE SPENT A WHOLE WEEK TO DECORATE IT, WITH AZRIEL’S HELP. Elain and Azriel eating the cake, and they ended up kissing and smearing all the frosting on each other. And on Azriel’s wings.

9.       LUCIEN

Somehow he didn’t put the Fire Dick on the cake. Surpise surprise.

10.   TAMLIN

No one make him cake. No, but here’s the flour and he can make it himself.

ALSO THRONE OF GLASS AND THEIR CAKES HERE!!

cool lil things to drop in your writing...

that won’t change your character but will change how your readers feel about themselves:

acne/acne scars/scarring in general-

so a lot of people love to write YA Fiction (us included!) but I think sometimes our teenage characters are given such huge tasks and embark on such wild missions that we forget that they are just that– teenagers! and one of the big things about being a teenager is all the hormonal changes that are going on (books love to focus on the sex/romance stuff), but we forget to mention things such as acne. even having a brief description of a character like “they scooped back their curls and I could see the acne that dotted their jaw” can make a world of a difference to a young teen who’s reading that book and struggling with having cystic acne. imagine if one of your favorite, most other-worldly beautiful characters had acne and they were still considered beautiful? you know how much it would rock people’s worlds to see that imperfect skin isn’t only found in villains?

gapped teeth/crooked teeth-

now I’ve seen this one more often, but never too much. all i have to say is that braces are expensive (i know from personal experience jfc) and getting your smile straightened isn’t something that’s readily available to everyone. let one of your characters reflect that, a whole backstory you don’t even have to come up with. 

beauty marks/moles/birth marks:

we know that cindy crawford and marilyn monroe have their famous beauty marks (we have piercings named after them) on their faces that enhance their beauty. having a unique placement of a characters mole/birth mark/beauty mark can give them a whole other dimension/back story you may not have thought of right away.

The signs as Game of Thrones quotes

**In celebration of the kick off to Season 7, I thought I’d hype it up with great ass quotes from some of our favorites!** *From both the show and books!*

Aries: “Fear cuts deeper than swords.” - Syrio  Forel

Originally posted by xhousefirex

Taurus: “Don’t let them see your tears. They are nasty little shits and nasty little shits aren’t worth crying over.” - Brienne of Tarth 

Originally posted by sanssa

Gemini: “A man with no motives is a man no one suspects. Always keep your foes confused. If they don’t know who you are, what you want, they can’t know what you plan to do next.” - Petyr Baelish 

Originally posted by aidansplaguewind

Cancer: “The more people you love, the weaker you are.” - Cersei Lannister 

Originally posted by cerseilannisterdaily

Leo: (”Do you want to be a queen?”) “No. I want to be the Queen.” - Margaery Tyrell 

Originally posted by monik911hsm

Virgo: “My brother has his sword and I have my mind. And a mind needs a books like a sword needs a whetstone. That’s why I read so much.” - Tyrion Lannister

Originally posted by emilysurvivesgradschool

Libra: “Not everyone who spoke to you friendly was really your friend.” - Arya Stark 

Originally posted by occupyvenus

Scorpio: “There is only one hell, Princess. The one we live in now.” - Melisandre, The Red Woman 

Originally posted by monsieurcrowley

Sagittarius: “It’s a big and beautiful world. Most of us live and die in the same corner where we were born and never get to see any of it. I don’t want to be most of us.” - Oberyn Martell 

Originally posted by rubyredwisp

Capricorn: “Show too much kindness, people won’t fear you. if they don’t fear you, they won’t follow you.” - Daario Naharis 

Originally posted by welcometoyouredoom

Aquarius: “Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister

Originally posted by inquiries-of-an-intj

Pisces: “That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.” - Tyrion Lannister

Originally posted by blindmidnightsoul

The Kissing Booth

A SnowBaz fanfiction


Simon

Once a year, usually in the spring, Watford stages a carnival for the students.  It’s usually quite humble, mainly consisting of booths selling small magic trinkets, or snacks like cotton candy, sweets and other classic carnival fare.  There’s always the tiny petting zoo over near the Cloisters, and some years Watford even scrapes enough together to bring in a carousel.  Most of the booths are run by student volunteers, and though everything is by donation, all proceeds go to whichever charity the student body has voted on.

           I go every year, mostly for the caramel apples and sweet cider, but this is the first year I’ve been behind the scenes of the carnival and helped at a booth.

           In truth, I didn’t even sign up for it, but Agatha hadn’t had a break all day and needed some cotton candy of her own.

           I should have told her to find Penny, or Trixie or even Minty.  Anyone but me.

           It doesn’t take long for the word to spread that Simon Snow has taken over the Kissing Booth, and mortifyingly the line has doubled in length.  Mostly first or second-year girls, blushing and stammering or swaggering up to the counter with a pronounced sway in their step, with the odd boy interspersed through the line.

           It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me – that honour goes to the time in second year that Baz stumbled upon a spell that made my clothes slowly dissipate, garment by garment, in the middle of the dining hall – and after the first two or three quick, cold kisses I start to calm down, but I’m counting the minutes until Agatha comes back.  How she endured hours of this, I cannot comprehend.  That’s just Agatha, I guess.

           A redhead drops her donation into the tin and her eyes flit around, meeting me for only a split second at a time, her cheeks aflame.  I try to look as non-threatening as I can and lean forward enough that she can close the rest of the space.  She darts in with a kiss that’s no more than a peck before running over to a giggling pair of who must be her friends, a triumphant grin on her face. She must have been dared.  Poor girl.  I hope I wasn’t her first.

           “Well, well, well.”

           My stomach lurches at the cold drawl I know only too well.

           “What are you doing here, Baz?” I say in as civilized a tone as I can manage.

           He stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth in a twist that’s a bit too amused to be a sneer.  “When I heard that the Chosen One had taken over the Snogging Booth, I simply had to see it for myself.”

           “Well, now you’ve seen it, so now you can go.”

           “Saving the World of Mages one kiss at a time,” Baz murmurs with a chuckle.  “Not exactly what I was envisioning.”

           “I’m only covering for Agatha,” I retort, “she’ll be back in five minutes if you’re wanting her services.”

           He scoffs.  “I’d rather not snog your girlfriend, thank you very much.”

           “She’s not my – forget it,” I shake my head.  I’ve told him at least a dozen times, but it never stops him.

           “She must have been really desperate for a break to put you in charge,” Baz drawls on, his voice smooth like honey but with too much of a bite to be sweet.  “You’d think she’d at least pick someone attractive for the Kissing Booth.”

           It stings, but I don’t flinch.  “What, someone like you?” I spit back too fast.

           His eyebrows shoot up in delighted surprise as I realize my mistake.  “You flatter me, Snow,” he purrs, and I feel my cheeks heat up, but I furrow my brow tighter and hope it passes for anger.

           “Is there a reason you’re still here?” I growl as the burning spreads from my cheeks to my ears.  

           “As a matter of fact, there is,” Baz says, and his gray eyes look cool enough to staunch the flames at the tips of my ears, but the more I glare into them the more the fire rages.  “I’m here to torment you.”

           “Great, well you’ve done that.”

           “I wanted to see what you’d do.”  He leans on the edge of the counter, bringing his face far too close to mine for comfort. “What would the Mage’s Heir do if his nemesis showed up at the Kissing Booth?”

           “You can torment me any time,” I shoot back, “you’re holding up the line.”

           “Oh, yes, well,” he feigns conern, “I wouldn’t want to keep anyone from their kiss.”

           “Then go away.”

           His eyes narrow and he pretends to think.  “Mmm, no.  I don’t think so.”

           “Baz, I’m warning you.”

           “Terrifying,” he drones, “but this is too much fun.  Besides,” his eyebrow flickers up, “don’t you owe me a kiss?”

           I flash him a smirk of my own.  “Aw, Baz. If you were so desperate for a kiss, you could’ve just asked.”

           Baz, to his credit, doesn’t bat an eye.  “You think of that comeback yourself?”

           “There’s a fee, you know,” I ignore him, barely having to raise my voice above a murmur for him to hear me, he’s so close.  “You haven’t paid the fee, so I don’t owe you anything.”

           He doesn’t drop his eyes from mine, and the cool gray takes on the spark of a challenge.  Out of my periphery I see him reach into his pocket, and there’s the clatter of coins dropping into the tin.

           I should punch him.

           I should spit in his face.

           I wanted to see what you’d do.

           I take him by the lapels and crush his mouth under mine.

           He makes a muffled sound of shock.  To be fair, so do I, but mine is more angry than it is surprised.  I kiss him hard and rough, and it’s a bit of a juxtaposition because his mouth is oddly soft.  A face like his, you’d expect his lips to be made of marble, cold and unmoving, but he’s the farthest thing from unmoving.  I can’t tell if he’s struggling or if he’s kissing me back but his lips are so, so soft and I want to bruise them, mark them, bite them…

           I only stop when a series of wolf whistles reminds me that there are at least ten people watching us.

           Trying to salvage the illusion of control, I break away harshly, still gripping him by his collar.  The cocky smirk has dropped from his smooth features and now his face mirrors mine, a matching scowl, like I’ve crossed a dangerous line.  I probably have.

           “Was that what you wanted?” I growl.

           He doesn’t answer, just holds my gaze another few seconds before pushing back from the table, his lapels slipping out of my hands, and stalking away.

*** 

I don’t see Baz at the carnival after that, and I stay as long as the booths are open, perusing the same counters and feigning interest even after having looked through their contents three times.  I keep Penny company where she mans the popcorn booth, drizzling caramel over every few cartons, and I even get bored enough to hang around Agatha back at the Kissing Booth for a little while, until one too many patrons have asked if I’m available for service.  When she and Penny are freed we pet the goats at the petting zoo, the ones that Ebb has graciously volunteered for the event, and take a few spins on the carousel.  Only once the light has begun to fade and the signs are being lowered from their booths do the three of us part ways.  Even then, I offer to help Ebb get her goats back safely.

           Basically, I’m doing anything I can to put off going back to the room, but eventually I can’t avoid it any longer.  I’ve wandered the grounds enough times that the sun has properly disappeared behind the distant hills and I can barely see the ground in front of me. Even then I’m tempted to consider crazy alternatives like spending the night at Ebb’s place, but I’m pretty sure that would be against school rules anyway, and besides, I’ll have to face Baz eventually.  There’s no undoing what’s happened.

           When I finally trudge back into the room, he’s staring out the window at the moat, presumably trying to intimidate the merwolves, but he turns at the sound of the door.  His expression, though I don’t see it for long before I look away, is hard to read. Wide eyes and a furrowed brow, like he’s still mad at me for my stunt earlier, but there’s a bit of a questioning edge there, too.  Almost a where were you edge.

           Normally I have to start any type of conversation, but tonight he wastes no time. “What the hell was that, Snow?”

           There’s no question as to what he’s referring, and I can’t help but get angry again.  “Me? You’re the one who had to start something!”

           “Well, you didn’t have to react so drastically,” he mutters, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall by the window, the moonlight casting its glow on his skin and making him even paler than usual, almost transparent.  I half expect fangs to slide out from his lips for no reason and complete the picture.

           His soft, soft lips.

           “You were egging me on,” I seethe, the memory igniting the rage that I’d felt in the fractured moment before kissing him, “it’s your fault anything happened.”

           “Proud little hero,” Baz says with the slightest smirk, “can’t back down from a challenge.”

           “You know I can’t, not in front of people.”

           “Wouldn’t want them to think the Heir is a coward.”

           I feel like a balloon in me is swelling and deflating at once.  “But that’s just it, Baz,” I insist, anger momentarily aside.  “If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?”

           He doesn’t answer right away, and for a second I think maybe he understands. I want so badly for him to understand.

           “No reason,” Baz eventually says, turning to look out the window again, “not with someone like you as the Chosen One.”

           I want to groan, to kick something, to shake him by the shoulders and make him look me in the eye and for once not fight me.  Have we ever in our lives made eye contact without there being some challenge between us?

           “Why did you have to get in that line?” I shake my head.  “There are so many other ways of tormenting me, lower-stakes ways.”

           “To be fair, I’ve already exhausted most of those,” Baz murmurs with a little shrug of his shoulders.

           “When have you ever been fair?”

           “Touché.”

           I’m tired of standing here at the door, so I kick off my shoes and sit down on my bed, trying not to think about how much closer I am to him now, still at the window, looking as vampiric as ever.  His gray eyes are positively silver in the moonlight, and the black of his hair looks silkier than ever, as if it’s soaking the rays directly into him. He almost glows.  I have to laugh a little, because more than once Baz has mockingly compared me, with my bronze curls and sky-blue eyes, to the sun, but he himself wears a halo of night.  If I am the sun, then Baz is most certainly the moon.  Distant, cold, mysterious, almost too pristine to touch.

           His gaze returns to me suddenly.  He raises an eyebrow in a wordless inquiry, and I realize I’ve been staring.

           “What exactly was it you expected me to do?”

           “At what point, Snow?” he gives a humourless laugh.  “You had more than one opportunity to react.”

           “When you paid the fee.”

           His tiny smile disappears.  “It doesn’t matter.”

           “It does.”

           “Drop it, Snow,” he says, the hardness returning to his eyes, and I know I’ve cornered him.  Drop it is Baz’s way of betraying himself, of saying there’s something that he doesn’t want to tell.

           “Was I supposed to kiss you?” I ask.  For some reason I have to know.

           “No.”

           “Then what?”

           “I don’t know, Snow, punch me.  Push me. Beat me to the ground.  Something.”

           My brow furrows in confusion.  “Wait. You wanted me to hit you?”

           He shrugs, more with his head than his shoulder.  “One of us has to get hurt, right?”

           I rise to my feet, and I’m face-to-face with him again, only his eyes are different this time.  Whereas at the booth he had betrayed no hint of doubt at our closeness, now there’s a flicker of something in the silver, something that feels a lot like the way my heart is racing in my chest, and it dawns on me.  He was putting on a show at the carnival, acting like nothing I could do would get to him, just as I had been.

           If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?

           One of us has to get hurt, right?

           And suddenly it makes sense.

           There’s only a few inches between us, so it feels almost natural when I lean in and press the gentlest of kisses to his lips.

           He doesn’t kiss me back this time, but he doesn’t move away either.  “What was that for?” he asks when I draw back a second later.

           “You act like we’re so different,” I say wonderingly, “but we’re the same.”

           “How?”

           “What do you think we’d be if we didn’t have to fight each other?”

           I don’t miss the split second of longing in his eyes.  “Keep dreaming, Snow.”

           “Because I bet it would involve a lot more of this.”  I bring a hand up to his neck, my fingers instantly lost in the wavy tips of his hair and it’s exactly as soft as it looks bathed in moonlight.

           Baz closes his eyes like he has to collect himself.  “You’re the hero.  I’m the villain.  What more do I have to say?”

           “Fuck that,” I chuckle, “we both know that’s not true.  You’re a boy, and I’m a boy.  That’s all.”

           “Tell that to the rest of the world.”

           “I don’t care about the rest of the world,” I shake my head adamantly, “I want to know what you think.”    

           “About what?”

           “If there was no act, no reputation, no role to play,” I murmur, “if we were just two boys, what would you do?”

           Baz returns my gaze a moment, searching my eyes.    

           Then his lashes close and he’s kissing me, and my eyes drift shut again like I’m sighing in relief.

           I let my fingers tangle higher up in his hair while my other hand grips the front of his shirt like earlier, only without the anger of the afternoon.  He angles his head further and guides the kiss deeper, his hands gently gripping my waist and pulling me closer.  I melt against him, my mouth moving with his, my head swimming with his citrusy scent, and I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my throat when he takes my bottom lip between his teeth in a gentle tug. Suddenly I’m floating, weightless, and Baz gives a muffled sound of surprise when I press back a little harder.

           When we finally break apart, both of us gasping and dizzy, I immediately want more, want to line his neck with my mouth, want to feel his breath hitch when I reach the base of his throat, want to hear my name in his sigh.  Would he sigh Snow or Simon?  I want to know.

           “Please,” I whisper, dotting a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “can’t we just be two boys?”

           When I meet his eyes, they’re full of more longing than ever.

           In response, he kisses a soft, slow triangle pattern on my cheek, and I recognize the pattern of the three moles by my eye, and I can’t help but smile.

“We can try.”

married part 3- h.s imagine

part 1 

part 2


Niall opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it. You rolled your eyes as you stared at him from across the kitchen counter. Niall furrowed his eyebrows as he placed his hand on his chin. He shook his head and leaned against the counter. “Alright. Tell me again exactly what she said.”

You let out a sigh as you leaned your hands against the counter. “She basically told me to fuck off, Niall.” Niall shook his head and sat down on one of the bar stools. “I just can’t believe Kimberly would say something like that to you.” You sighed as you sat on the seat next to his. You leaned your head against your arm. “I can’t believe it either.”

“So did you tell Harry?” Niall asked. You shook your head, “No. And I’m not planning on telling him either. I can’t tell him that he married-”

“The wicked bitch of London?” Niall interrupted, lips quirking up in a smile. You let out a chuckle as you gently punched him in the arm. “I’m serious, Niall. It’ll break his heart knowing Kimberly’s capable of saying something like that to someone. Promise me you won’t tell him?” Niall shrugged his shoulders as he got up to grab something from the fridge. “I guess, Y/N. But he’ll find out eventually. What’s he gonna think when his best friend suddenly stops talking to him?”

You groaned as you placed your head on the counter. “It’s not like I was going to do anything to hurt the marriage. I respect Harry too much to ever jeopardize it. But now I feel like I did overstep my boundaries, that’s why Kimberly wants me out of the picture.”

Niall turned around from looking in the fridge, a bottle of water in his hands. “You did nothing wrong, Y/N. You’re Harry’s best friend. Just because he’s married, that’s never going to change. Kimberly’s just insecure that her marriage is in the runs.”

You rubbed your face with your hands, clearly exhausted of the situation. “Out of all the people I could’ve fell in love with, why Harry?” You let out a laugh at how ironic your life was. “I just had to be the stereotypical girl who falls in love with her best friend.”

Niall smiled, sitting back down next to you as he placed his arm around you. “Harry’s just a great guy. Every girl is bound to fall in love with him. At least you have the privilege of being his best friend?” Niall tried assuring you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. You leaned your head against Niall’s shoulder and puffed out your cheeks, “I hate my life.”


With yet another promise from Niall that things were going to work out in the end for you, Niall left your apartment. You were sitting on your bed, scrolling through your Facebook feed. You sighed as you saw another post from Harry’s honeymoon. You leaned your head against the bed frame as you clicked on Harry’s name. You started looking through his most recent pictures. A lot of the photos were either from his honeymoon or his wedding. You tried not to wince as you would stumble upon pictures of him and Kimberly kissing. You were basically looking at Harry’s timeline in his photos. There were pictures from when he proposed to Kimberly, pictures of them at a Coldplay concert, pictures of them eating crazy looking food, pictures of them on the bed snuggling. Just pictures of them.

You laughed as you landed on the next picture, your hand covering your mouth.

You smiled at Harry as he placed a small cake in front of you. He sat down in front of you, a smile so wide, you were afraid his dimples would somehow burst. “This is my first time trying out this cake recipe, love, so bare with me if it’s not good.” Harry said as he began lighting candles on the cake.

You shook your head, a smile still on your face. “It looks absolutely amazing, H.” Harry looked over at you and smiled. He looked at the clock on the wall and noticed the time. “And now, it’s officially your birthday.”

Since you and Harry were twelve, he’s always made sure to be the first to tell you Happy Birthday. As your best friend, it was his sole purpose to do so. Every year, Harry would make you a cake, from scratch, and would sing you happy birthday. You guys would eat cake in your pajamas while watching Sixteen Candles and eat even more cake for breakfast in the morning. It was a perfect tradition you’d hope would never end.

Your eyes glanced over to the caption. On this day, my beautiful best friend came into this world. I will always remain thankful for this day. I will always love you.

You bit your bottom lip, rereading the caption what felt like a million times. You couldn’t help but wonder how your birthday will be this year. It was only in a couple of weeks. Would Harry still come over? Should he even come over? With everything Kimberly said, is it right for him to come over? You grabbed one of the pillows placed on your bed and screamed into it. With your head still in the pillow, your laptop began to ring. You looked over to see your mom was trying to FaceTime you. “Just what I needed” you mumbled. You plastered on the most phony smile to exist. “Hey mom.”

Your mom smiled, “Oh, honey! How lovely it is to see you!” You shook your head, letting out a giggle. “I saw you at the wedding, mom.” Your mom shook her head, a look of concern appearing on her face. “How are you doing, sweetie?” Besides Niall, your mom was the only one that knew of your feelings for Harry. How could she not? She was your mother. Your mom would always tell her friends that she knew you and Harry would be married someday. She loved your friendship and she loved how Harry respected you. It’s what every parent dreams for their child. When she got the invitation to his wedding, she was absolutely shattered for her daughter. She immediately called you only to be met with you sobbing on the other side of the line.

You shrugged your shoulders, pushing your hair behind your ears. “I’m fine.” Your mom shook her head. “You’re not. And it’s okay if you aren’t.”

You sighed as you stared at the computer screen. “It’s over, mom. He’s married. I can’t do anything but be supportive for him.” Your mom pursed her lips, nodding her head. “Well, Y/N. The reason why I called was because I want you to go out-”

You groaned, interrupting her. “Mom. Please. The last thing I want to do is go on a date.” Your mom let out a sigh.

“Y/N. Harry’s married.” You shook your head slowly as your eyes shifted away from the screen. Your mother continued, “And from looking at how happy he was at the wedding and listening to his vows…Y/N, he’s going to be married for a long time.” You sniffed, trying not to tear up in front of your mom.

Your mom looked down at her hand, looking at her wedding ring. “Every mother wants that for her child. They want to see them in love. They want to see their wedding. I want that for you, Y/N. As your mother, I can’t stand back and watch you hurting.”

You looked back at the computer screen, a tear falling down. “Let yourself be happy.” Your mom whispered on the other side. Your head shot down in defeat. She was right. A moment of silence passed before you whispered, “Alright.”


Lucas was…nice. He did everything you were supposed to do on a first date. He asked about your family, he asked about your job, he asked about your hobbies. He pulled out your chair for you at dinner, he held open the door for you, he paid for dinner. Lucas was a proper gentleman. You couldn’t help but think you needed someone like Lucas. As harsh as it sounds, Lucas was your distraction from Harry.

“Well this is me.” You said as you nodded towards your apartment building. Lucas nodded as he followed your gaze. “Is it alright if I walk you towards your door?”

You smiled, nodding your head. As you and Lucas were walking towards your door, you let out a laugh as Lucas was telling you about accidentally walking into his brother “handling” his business in his room.

Your laughter halted as you saw Harry standing in front of your door. He was staring between you and Lucas with his arms crossed. “Harry? What are you doing here?” Harry stared at Luke before he turned to look at you. “Can I talk to you?”

Lucas cleared his throat, catching on the tension. “I should probably get going, Y/N. I had a really great time.” You turned to look at Lucas and gave him a small smile, nodding. “I did, too.” You leaned over and gave him a hug. As Lucas returned the hug, you couldn’t help but feel Harry throwing daggers at you. Lucas cleared his throat once more as he nodded towards Harry and walked back towards the elevators.

As soon as you opened your apartment door, Harry was quick to ask, “Who was that?” You ignored his question, taking your heels off. “What did you need to talk about, Harry?”

Harry cleared his throat, crossing his arms once again. “Were you on a date?” You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Yes. Ok, yes, Harry. I was on a date.”

Harry let out a scoff. “That explains why you wouldn’t answer my texts.” You rolled your eyes as you began pouring yourself a glass of wine. “Well I’m sorry my life doesn’t revolve around you.”

Harry closed his mouth, a slight pang of hurt on his face. He shook his head. “I just wanted to tell you that me and Kimberly got into our first fight today. I really needed you, Y/N.” You stared into the wine glass, your mind zoning off as Harry went on about the fight.

“I just need you to tell me what to do.” Harry said. You quickly came back to your senses. “I’m sorry, H. I got none of that.” Harry let out a sigh. He was already frustrated enough with Kimberly and being ignored by you wasn’t making it any better. “Damn it, Y/N. Stop thinking about that guy and pay attention to me.”

This time it was your turn to let out a scowl. “I’m sorry Harry that I wasn’t listening to you go on about your wife. Why would I want to hear your problems in your marriage when I’m having problems myself?”

Harry threw his arms out, “You’re supposed to be my best friend! You’re supposed to be listening to my problems and help!”

“My life doesn’t revolve around you, Harry!”

Harry looked away from you, shaking his head. He realized he was being needy but you’ve never had a problem with it before. You were always happy to help him whenever you could. He couldn’t help but think it was because you had a potential guy in your future. He doesn’t know who that guy was, how many dates you guys have been on, or how much you liked him. What he did know was you didn’t look right with that guy.

Harry placed his hand on the door knob before he looked at you. “You’re right. I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“Wait, H-” You closed your eyes as the door shut. You wrapped your arms around yourself, hating that you were so harsh to Harry. You were about to run after him but you couldn’t help but thinking about what Kimberly said. You knew you shouldn’t let her words get into her head. Why is she just now having a problem with your friendship with Harry when they’ve been together for two years now? You let out a sigh as you sat on your kitchen barstool. You couldn’t help but think about what it would be like from Kimberly’s shoes. You would be insecure as well if your husband had a best friend that has feelings for him. But you weren’t the type of person to jeopardize a marriage, why couldn’t she see that? You leaned your head against your hand. You didn’t know what to do anymore.

When Harry stepped into the elevator, his eyes were staring at your door, expecting you to run after him. When your door made no movement of opening, Harry looked down at the floor as the elevator doors closed.


thank you guys so much for all the feedback married is getting so far! i love that you guys are liking it! i love hearing from you guys! let me know what you guys thought/ want to see what happens next! 

you can find all my writing here 

you can read part 4 here

Let Me Show You Why

Thank you @joeynihil for letting me use the Cody gif :D

Summery: Brett goes out of his way to make you blush or shy but he goes too far.

Warnings: sex, 18+ gif under cut


“Brett’s coming?” You asked when your friend finished listing off the people she’d invited.

“It’s a party to celebrate the team winning all their games so far… why wouldn’t I invite Brett?” She asked, glancing at you in the mirror as she put her makeup on, frowning when she looked over the jeans and t-shirt you were wearing.

“Well… because he’s kind of a jerk.” You mumbled, playing with your fingers as you scuffed your feet on the foot of her bed.

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