in the real word he's never really been thrusts into the spotlight

→ Paper Doll | 01

Originally posted by sugutie

☆ pairing → Jungkook x Reader

☆ genre → idol+singer-songwriter!au, drama, slight angst

 warning sexual themes with smut in the next chapters, mentions of past unhealthy relationship 

☆ word count   → 2.1k

summary   → When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed –  it was you.

alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

01 | 02 


a/n  → so basically this is me being coerced into writing jjk smut 
edit: pt i is more of a prologue



[+11,435; -2,003] this really breaks my image of him… proves how you can’t judge someone from their personality on camera

[+9,386; -1,983] all this time he was pretending to be super innocent haha all those stupid fangirls throwing money at him blindly must be going crazy

[+5,903; -1,234] i mean everyone goes through break-ups, but he was cosplaying as an innocent guy who was scared of skinship with girls all these years.. lmao he’s super shamel–

The words on the screen in front of him all blurred and bled into one big stain. He quickly scrolled through the hundreds and hundreds of comments, each more condemning than the last. A steady pressure was building in his ears, until the only thing he could see or feel were the accusations of a faceless crowd, all jeering at him loudly, fingers pointed.

It was as if his entire life flashed in front of his eyes right then, and he could suddenly recall every inconsequential and significant thing that had shaped his life the past seven years – the hours and hours spent in front of the mirror rehearsing the same steps over and over again, the taste of soggy ramen Hoseok hyung had let overcook last week, the screams of fans, the sound of his alarm clock, the look on your face when you told him it was over. There was no chronology to the kaleidoscope of fleeting glimpses of his past.

“What,” he breathed, hands shaking, eyes wide and disbelieving as his phone fell with a clatter on the table. He desperately wanted to ignore reality, but the stares that were all focused on him kept him grounded to the present.

Of course his first scandal would be linked to you.

Keep reading

SWAN QUEEN FICRECS

FOREVER FAVORITE

1.     The Secret’s in the Telling by pyrophoric                
Summary:

“It’s the sixth of October. A pivotal moment in Storybrooke’s history and the turning point in Regina Mills’ life. And it all began with a spell, a Sheriff, and a thief.”
Reaction:

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I know it is a slow start but give it a try and it’s all worth it.)

2.    The Worlds You Never See by writetherest
Summary:

   The lives I’ll never lead / Couldn’t make me sing / Could they? Could they? Could they?
   **
   As soon as she had stepped through the doorway, the door closed tightly. And only then, with Regina inside, did the lines, curves, and swirls shift and move, assembling themselves into words within the heart.
   The Road You Didn’t Take

Reaction:

*cry emoji*

3.     The Art of Being Extraordinary by purplehershey
Summary:
AU. Henry, age 23, decides to give the crowd what they want, what they really want. A story. So he tells them the only one he knows: the greatest love story of all time, and it just so happens, that this love story is his mothers’. Henry’s on and off POV. WARNING: VERY ANGSTY MAY OR MAY NOT CONTAIN A CHARACTER DEATH
Reaction:
 I cried.

4.     Shadow Haven by Delirious_Comfort                
Summary:

   Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.
   Emma was silent for a long time. Truth be told, she had no idea if she wanted to stay here. She desperately wanted the break, but didn’t want to spend her time with some stranger who had been hostile from the moment she had laid eyes on her. Hostility that had been replaced by semi-friendliness as soon as money had been added into the equation, and Emma wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
   “I don’t know,” Emma finally said.
   “Give it one week, Miss Swan. If you are not enjoying yourself here on Shadow Haven at the end of that time, we will look into the possibilities of returning you home,” Regina offered as she stood up from her spot on the couch and made her way over to Emma. She held out her hand to the younger woman when she reluctantly gave the gorgeous brunette a nod, “It is nice to meet you Miss Swan. My name is Regina Mills. Welcome to Shadow Haven, I do hope you will enjoy your time here.”

Reaction:
          
Definitely NSFW, This story is not just hot but I also love the development of Emma and Regina’s relationship.

5.      Bait and Switch by JuiceCup
Summary:
Henry Mills is sick and tired of his mothers skating around the truth and not realizing that they are perfect for each other and that they belong together.  So he has a plan to bring them together and convinces his grandmother to help.Robin and Marian had never left. The story starts out with MILD Outlaw Queen but there is NO KISSING and NO SEX, so NO WORRIES!  THIS is a Swan Queen story with major Swan Queen feels already in the first chapter!
Reaction:
DO NOT READ THIS WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO SLEEP! IT WILL KEEP YOU UP DUE TO MAJOR SWAN QUEEN FEELS!!!

6.      I’m Not A Writer I Just Drink A Lot About It by Exquisiteliltart            
Summary:

Regina decides to write her own happy ending and Emma helps.
Reaction:

So much feels!!! Fluff and Swan-Mills Family *sighs and watch them live happily ever after*

Keep reading

Helpless (Hamilton Part One)

Summary: In which there are two sides to every story and this is Steve’s (Or, in which Steve takes one look at you and suddenly he’s helpless).

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Word Count: 3,458 (including lyrics)

A/N: If you are a Hamilton fan, then you know this song and you also know that there has to be a Part 2 from Bucky’s POV. 

Tagging @bovaria because her fics are the definition of perfection.

Satisfied (Part Two)

Originally posted by lufelicity

I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight

“- Long story short, I never would’ve made it out of there alive if not for Steve.”

The ‘hero’ of the story ducks his head, trying to hide his embarrassed grin. Despite the time he used to spend on stages all across the country selling bonds to anyone who would listen to him, he never fully grew used to the spotlight. Unfortunately for him, being Captain America makes it hard to shy away from the attention that is constantly thrust in his direction.

Keep reading

You’ll Always Be My One


Summary: Friends hanging out turns into a confession of feels
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: Reader/Zelo (Junhong) B.A.P
Warnings: Cheesy cuteness everywhere
Word Count: ~ 2,300 (one-shot)

A/N: Zelo is a fluffy bunny and I really wanted to write something sweet. I’m feeling the fluff this week.

Originally posted by natwon-choi


You’ll Always Be My One

Sitting at the coffee shop, alone at the table, you checked your phone for the tenth time in as many minutes. If he was going to be late, he could at least text you to let you know. Your knees bounced restlessly as your fingers tapped out a beat on the table. The two of you hadn’t been able to hang out together in weeks, and now he was running late.

Really, you shouldn’t have been surprised. It was typical at this point. Ever since he had become Zelo, he was always late.

To amuse yourself, you thought about the very moment that you and Junhong had become friends. He had always just been another kid in your class, a face you passed in the classroom on the way to your seat in middle school. Then that day, the day, you saw him on the sidewalk, two blocks from school, getting pushed around by older neighborhood kids.

Keep reading

On Viktor: Being Placed on a Pedestal

Yuri admits that he and Viktor never really talked before because he put Viktor on a pedestal. 

In another post I pointed out how Viktor was probably lacking a deep emotional connection which spurred him to leave Russia to coach Yuri. And the reason he is lacking that connection is that Yuri isn’t alone in putting him on that pedestal, the whole world kind of puts Viktor on a pedestal. He’s a living legend: untouchable, and the Reigning King of the figuring skating (no matter what JJ thinks). Viktor has been the doll of the figure-skating world since he was about 15, maybe even before that. He’s been in the spotlight for at least twelve years. He is adored worldwide, and loved by countless fans. In the words of Yurio:

Being on a pedestal like that, though, is not a positive experience. Maybe at first, it is. You feel so loved, and adored, for a while at least. But it can put someone under an intense amount of pressure.

Personal anecdote time: I have an ex that put me on a pedestal while we were together. To him, I was his perfect ideal of a girlfriend: a goody-two-shoes who didn’t drink or smoke, a good student, college-bound, etc. When we started dating, he made me feel so incredibly loved, and special. And I loved him for it. I was so fucking in love with this boy that I overlooked huge red flags like drug addiction, cheating, compulsive lying, and emotional abuse. We dated for two years, and for a lot of that time I felt adored, and loved. He made me feel like this amazing person, that was going places, and going to do great things. Even after things turned sour, I didn’t want to see just how low the lows were, because the highs were so incredibly high. And I didn’t want to lose that.

It took me a while to see it, almost three years: He was more in love with the idea of me, than the actual person I was. All the adoration was only offered when I was fulfilling his ideal of who he thought I was. I wasn’t supposed to drink, or smoke pot, or get depressed, or have doubts, or make mistakes. That wasn’t who I was, I wasn’t that person at least in his mind.

So when I ended up being that person, it was met with hostility. He would get angry, and disappointed, and plead with me while telling me how much he loved me, and how I was better than that. No matter that he partook in those things regularly. That was him, and he was not perfect. Not like I was. At the time, I bought into it. I didn’t drink, I didn’t take me friends up on the offers to go out. I let him dictate who I was, and what I did.

When you are put up on a pedestal like at, every time you do something that doesn’t fit into their ideal of who they think you should be, it’s met with guilt trips, and disappointment, and sometimes outright hostility. They try to force you into being that person they think you are, that they need you to be to keep you up on that pedestal. But you can never meet their expectations, no matter how hard you try. Because you are human – with flaws, and weaknesses –  and their ideal of you is not.

But even still you try to meet those impossible expectation. You try so hard to act the way they want you to act, just to please them. Even if it isn’t who you really are, or who you want to be. Because they love you, and you love them, and you don’t want to let them down. But you always do. And eventually you end up distancing yourself from that person emotionally because you start to fear not living up to their expectations. And you do your best to become that person, at least superficially - even if you aren’t. It becomes a role you play.

Which is what I think happened to Viktor, somewhere along the way.

Because the world isn’t in love with Viktor Nikiforov, it’s in love with the idea of him. No one knows the real Viktor, but everyone has this ideal of him perched on that pedestal with all the expectations that come along with it: the rival, the idol, the media darling, the legend. These are all identities thrust upon Viktor that may, or may not, fit who Viktor really is. And to cope, Viktor distanced himself emotionally from not only his public, but his fellow skaters, and probably everyone else around him. He has been, for years, doing his best to live up to the impossible expectations of perfection that the world holds him to because he is “a living legend”, he is untouchable. He is a figure for something greater than himself. He is no longer ‘human’ in the eyes of a lot of people. And not meeting their expectations would mean anger, and disappointment, and guilt-trips.

And I can understand how Vikor would get tired of being up on that pedestal, and having to meet all those expectations. Having to be perfect all the time is exhausting. And after you spend years trying to be what other people expect you to be, eventually you realize that while what they feel for you looks, and feels, a lot like love, it’s actually just shallow, and empty, and really really fucking fickle. And it leaves you feeling like shit.

I’m 99% sure that the Viktor we see early on in the season, in front of the cameras, with Yuri, and even Yakov - that isn’t Viktor. That is Viktor emotionally distancing himself. That’s the perfect, skating-darling face he puts on to deal with the expectations of the people that put him on a pedestal, whose expectations he can never meet. Because he’s not a legend, he’s not a god. He’s just a human being, who is flawed and makes mistakes, and has his own ideas of who he is and what he wants. And those ideas and desires might not align with the those the public builds up for him.

Which would explain why he didn’t formally announce his decision not to compete, and to instead coach Yuri. He just leaves. There isn’t a formal press announcement until after he’s gone, and he doesn’t make a statement. Minako says that Viktor’s retirement is a rumor:

Showing he doesn’t tell anyone important and just leaves, kind of a “ask for forgiveness, not permission” situation, he doesn’t even handle the fallout himself and leaves that to Yakov back in Russia because his location isn’t even known to anyone until after he starts posting to Instagram. Only then do reporters swarm Hatsetsu. Viktor definitely acted quickly when he left Russia, but he probably didn’t want to confirm anything or go to the press with his decision that a lot of people were obviously waiting for because he knew his decision would not be popular, it wouldn’t fit the ideal Viktor that people held up on that pedestal. His diversion from what people wanted from him would be met with a lot of anger and disappointment. He didn’t want to deal with the fallout from letting people down. 

And his decision is actually shown to be met with negative backlash from his fans, and Yakov, and Yurio, and the other skaters (mostly Chris, and JJ and those Russian skating ladies). Yuri has embraced the shade flying is way over the whole ordeal, but the reaction to Viktor’s decision is very clearly negative. He’s let a lot people down.

Viktor’s personality early on is an act he developed to keep himself emotionally distanced from his adoring public. Because if they saw the real Viktor, they might not like what they found. Not because Viktor, the real human Viktor, is a disappointment but because he wouldn’t fit their ideal. He wouldn’t be the perfect idol they’ve collectively placed on society’s pedestal anymore. He’d be a human: messy, and imperfect, and complicated.

That facade has loosened, recently. Viktor is no longer as emotionally distant as he once was. In the later episodes, Yuri has taken him off that pedestal and we’ve seen much more genuine emotion from Viktor (blushing, the entire carpark scene, the spontaneous run and kiss). Yuri has seen some of Viktor’s flaws, and weaknesses. He’s seen Viktor, the real Viktor. The one that doesn’t know how to handle a crying person, who screws up sometimes, who is balding and insecure about it. And his reaction hasn’t been negative, because while Yuri idolized Viktor, he also only ever wanted to skate alongside Viktor as an equal. And when he sees the real Viktor, he isn’t disappointed. He sees someone that is just as flawed, and human as he is. And that’s all Yuri wants. He just wants Viktor to be Viktor. The real Viktor. Not the one he plays for the cameras.

→ Paper Doll | 02

Originally posted by jengkook

pairing → Jungkook x Reader

genre → idol+singer-songwriter!au, drama, slight angst, smut

 warning  sex, language

word count   → 4.7k

 summary   → When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed –  it was you.

↳ alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

01 | 02

 a/n  → i haven’t even been on tumblr for a week and askdjjj I can’t believe how many people liked pt. i –  also, I know absolutely nothing about songwriting or music theory, or anything really, so this is me bullshitting my way through 4k words that i haven’t proofread



You associated every song of yours to a specific time and place.

The whimsical cluster chords that opened up Blue Afternoon made you think of the view from your window last spring. Looking down on the busy streets of Seoul from your flat, a crowding of umbrellas had danced to the sound of heavy rain, and you had been immediately struck with a melody line.

That was your favorite part of songwriting – that moment when you finally had something, after having absolutely nothing.

Ironically enough, out of all the songs on your album, you disliked Paper Doll the most.

Even before it had been propelled to the top of the music charts, the song had never been a favorite. The melody line was catchy but predictable, with the most common chord progressions and an overproduced chorus. The people reviewing your songs during the album production had all loved it, however, and they had adamantly decided to push it as a title track.

It was amusing how people presumed the song described a devastating heartbreak between you and your first love. They weren’t exactly wrong, but their interpretation was completely off. Still, you weren’t stupid enough to disapprove their theories. If they wanted to believe that your first boyfriend was a heartless playboy, then that wasn’t your problem.

At least you had never thought it would have to be a problem.

Keep reading

Murphy x Reader - Sister or Leader?

Murphy x Reader - Sister or Leader?

(Requested): “Can you write about the reader being Lexa’s sister and Lexa catches her and Murphy together, and she’s like hell no, but Murphy does something that makes her think twice Xx”

Hope this is okay for you, thanks for the request, anon.

——

You crossed your legs, sitting opposite him next to the creek that ran South, away from your village. From your corner, you could see his usually pale cheeks slightly tanned in the ray of the sun, which flickered across both of you, a spotlight in the autumn air.

You feared you would get caught. You had been seeing Murphy secretively for about half a month now, and, though it felt like longer, you still couldn’t let anyone find out, especially your sister. You knew for a fact that Lexa would flip out completely if she found out that you were in a relationship with a Sky Person, even if there was an alliance currently.

“Hello,” his sarcasm swerved you back into the real world, “so is day dreaming more interesting now?” You punch his arm playfully, and he laughs, and holds your hand again. You have always loved this, when he held your hand. You kissed his cheek, causing the blood to rush to his face. No one had ever made you feel that brave before, but as he curled your fingers around his-

“Y/N!” That was it. You were utterly, completely, undeniably screwed. Telling Murphy to run was easy, but he refused. Not wanting to act a coward was understandable.

Lexa marched towards you, grabbed your shoulder, and practically dragged you away, ordering the Warriors to seize Murphy, much to your protest. She looks at you, pain and disappointment stinging in her eyes.

“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”


——-

“He’s not like them!” This, you supposed, had come out of your mouth about six times when trying to reason with Lexa that day. She had ignored every word but still allowed you into the council room. Most likely to punish you.

“You haven’t met them, Y/n,” she reminded you, “they can’t be trusted, even in this truce.”

“Are you speaking to me as a leader, or as a sister?”

“Both!”

“You can’t!” Your cry was desperate, “that’s not how it works. You can’t speak to me in a way that I feel guilty for what I’ve done. That’s now fair. I have nothing to be guilty for!”

“Are you sure,” she lifted herself lightly from the throne, and walked towards you, “that you have nothing to be guilty for?” You screwed up your face, pathetically trying to reach her eye level.

“Try me,” you squeaked. She thrusted you aside, basically pushing you out of the room.

“I will hear no more of this-”

“-as my sister or my leader?”

“No more,” she turned you to face her, and some people walking past stared, “I will have no more of this. You are a warrior.” She pushed you out completely, and you felt the most unpleasant feeling of rejection that you had ever felt.

“Act like one.”

——

“REAPERS!” This close to camp? You grabbed your machete, but then thought crushingly:

Murphy.

He was completely unprotected, with no weapon, and no way to get out of his cell. You grabbed a second weapon, and dashed outside, leaving nothing but dust in your wake.

——-

You had already taken down one gnarly looking Reaper by the time you reached Murphy’s makeshift cell, and were splattered with his blood. Murphy gave you a concerned look as he stood to meet you, but you quickly shook your head, and said:

“Not mine.” Slashing open the cage door, you began to work on his bindings quickly, every so often looking behind you to check for more Reapers.

“Hey,” he said curiously, “what happened? My guard disappeared.”

“Reapers,” you finish, and give him the machete, which he holds knowingly in his hand, “looks like we are gonna have to fight our own way out of this.” You look each other deeply in the eyes, as if trying to capture a detailed picture in case you wouldn’t see them again, and you plunged into the fray.

——–

Ducking under a Reaper’s arm, you sliced profoundly into his back, causing him to fall over. Murphy did something similar to your left, making you smirk.

“Copy cat,” you quipped, and his lip curled.

“Really the time for snide remarks?” His question seemed to trigger another wave of Reapers, and another couple of tattooed heads ran at you.

The first two you handled well, though Murphy cut into one’s shoulder at the wrong angle, and blood came splurging upwards into his face, which he spat away from his mouth that you had been kissing less that twelve hours previous. You sighed.

You had lost concentration, and whilst you managed to handle the female in front of you, you weren’t paying attention to the action behind. Murphy himself was already well occupied, with one moving in on him that very second, but he could see that you were in some degree of trouble.

But he had to protect you, even knowing that you could protect yourself. He dived for the grounder behind you, getting it right through the chest. Blood leaked gently down its torso, also touching Murphy’s ragged trouser legs.

“..got it…"he strained, and you watched in horror as the one he had left ran at full speed towards him, murder in his eyes……

An arrow shot from nowhere, whistling through the trees like a bird of prey, shooting the Reaper as easily as you had kissed Murphy earlier that day. Casually, Lexa stepped down, bow in hand, and stood at your level as you got up from the ground.

"It seems….I may have misjudged you.” Was she joking? You saw no indication that she was, she looked genuinely guilty, “you have protected the one you lo -my sister, whilst risking your life. This is what a warrior does.” Murphy actually looked proud. You had never seen him like that, and somehow, it also made you feel warm inside. You also noticed that she nearly said “the one you love,” which made you giggle to yourself silently. Lexa walked up to you, looking ever more guilty.

“…I guess I owe you an apology..” You shook your head.

“You were doing what you thought was right,” you replied, “that will never need an apology.”

“Sister to sister,” she continued, still very sincere, “I’m sorry.” You embraced your sister, and watched, holding his hand, as your leader started to organise what was left.

——–

A/N

Sorry the ending was kinda bad, but I hope it was okay for you overall, anon. Xx

anonymous asked:

Prompt 38 please

Sorry this took so long Anon, and it’s a wee bit long for a drabble, but oh well :)  Without any further ado, I bring you…

38.   “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”



“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”  His words, deep and sensuous, skate across my lips as he holds me cradled against his chest. The barest hint of a smirk teases his lush lips, and my heart pounds in response.

“Aaaand cut!”  Peeta drops me so fast I stagger, and by the time I’ve regained my balance he has stormed off the sound stage.  I breathe out a frustrated huff and shoot a death glare at Haymitch, the director, who is scowling at me from behind camera 2.

“How much more of this shit do I have to put up with, Haymitch?” I growl, but he only rolls his eyes at me.

“Two more days of principal photography, Sweetheart.  Think you and Loverboy can put aside your mutual disgust long enough to get me out of here on time today?”  I grunt in response, crossing my arms tightly across my chest.  I’m not the one who marched away.  Not this time, anyway.  Haymitch shakes his head.  “Yeah, me either.  Damn, I need a drink,” he mutters under his breath before pinning me with a dark look.  “Fine, we’re done for the day.  Go home.  Come back tomorrow with a better attitude.”  He waves at me dismissively, and I stomp away.

I hate working with Peeta Mellark.

We costarred in a big budget YA franchise 5 years ago; ever since, we’ve avoided working together.  I’ve even turned down some pretty prime parts simply to stay off the stage with Peeta.  Until now.  I couldn’t say no to this role, it’s my friend Johanna’s first production.

The paparazzi have been all over us since filming began.  Tabloids take delight in reporting about the star-crossed actors who have such incredible chemistry on screen but who can barely tolerate each other off.

I rip the short blond wig I’ve been wearing for this role off my head and toss it on the craft services table.  Someone will find it.  My own black hair is braided and tightly pinned to my head, I pull it down furiously, leaving a trail of clips in my wake.

My trailer is the last one on the lot, it’s dark inside, quiet.  I’ve barely closed the door behind me when I find myself pressed roughly against it.  “Took you long enough, Everdeen,” he growls in my ear moments before his lips are crushing mine.  I want to say something snarky in return but his tongue steals the words right out of my mouth.  “I’m so fucking hard for you, Katniss,” he groans when we break apart for air, thrusting against me in demonstration.  “They’re going to have to CGI my hard on out of that scene.”

My laugh turns into a gasp as his hands cup my ass and he hoists me into his arms.

The bed is only steps away but it feels like an eternity.  We tear at each other’s clothing; Cinna will have a fit if we’ve damaged the costumes but I can’t find it in me to care.  I need Peeta, right now, I can’t wait.  

He sets a relentless pace, punishing, and I’m so wound up that I come within minutes, wailing my release and relief into his shoulder.  Only then does he slow, only then does my sweet Peeta take over.

We make love, slowly, filling the room with gasps and sighs, with pleas and praise.  And after, we lay curled together in my hard trailer bed, not an inch of space between us.  “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up,” he whispers into my hair, and I can hear the exhaustion in his voice.

“Just a couple more days,” I remind him, but he shakes his head.

“Not this shoot.  All of it.”  He sighs.  “I’m so tired, Katniss. I don’t want to hide any more.”

I shift in the bed to meet his eyes, circled with smudged stage make-up but still the most incredible blue I’ve ever seen.  Eyes I fell in love with when we were just teenagers, thrust into the spotlight together.  “What are you saying?” I whisper.

We’ve spent 5 years hiding our relationship, five years trying to carve out some semblance of privacy.  Carefully feeding stories to the gossip mags, being photographed in public with other people but never together.  Five years of sneaking around.  He brushes my matted hair back from my face and smiles; but it’s a sad, pained smile, and my heart hurts.

“I’m sick of reading about you and Gale buying a house together, and I don’t want to know which production assistant is my girl of the week,” he admits.  “I don’t want to pretend.”  We fall silent, thinking about what he’s said, what it would mean to open the curtains, let the rest of the world into our private lives. “Would it be so bad, letting people know?” he starts, tentatively.  “I… I want a future, Katniss.  I want us to be real.”

“We are real,” I whisper back, but there’s a note of hysteria in my voice.

“I know,” he rushes to reassure me.  “But I want more.  I want always.”  He sits up, bringing me with him.  I’m confused when he reaches for his jacket, on the edge of full on panic.  But he simply pulls something from the pocket.  A small black velvet box.  And I can’t breathe.

“Marry me,” he says simply.  “Let me tell the world that you’re mine, for real.  For always.”

I don’t answer in words, but the way I press my shaking hand into both of his, and the tears that spill down my cheeks as he slides the simple diamond solitaire onto my finger are answer enough.  I don’t know what the future will bring, but we’ll face it.  Together.