in the pit for the used

Jungle Inferno’s New Maps!

With only Day 1 out of 4 for the Jungle Inferno update, we’ve had a lovely introduction to Saxton Hale and his theme park - which is actually also a map packaged in this update. 

But that’s not the only map that’s shipping with this update. Let’s also talk about not one, but FIVE more maps that were brought out of the workshop and brought over to the jungle, complete with some words from their authors about what we can expect from each map!


1. Mercenary Park

After a decade of dustbowls and gravel pits, it’s time to pack your snorkel, find your flip-flops, and endure a series of painful yellow fever vaccinations to your abdomen, because Team Fortress is heading to the tropics! Introducing Mercenary Park, a new jungle-themed disease-ridden 3-control point map, made in-house by us!

2. Lazarus

Lazarus is a compact 90-degree mirrored symmetry King of the Hill map designed for consideration for the upcoming Jungle Update. Lazarus is a Jungle map set on a volcanic island in Southeast Asia, revolving around RED & BLU’s island bases and the archaeological dig site they’re fighting over in search of the Fountain of Youth! 

3. Mossrock

Mossrock is a 2CP Attack/Defend map (Gorge-Like) jungle map, with deathpits, trains and mind-controlling radio broadcast stations.

4. Banana Bay

A chaotic payload race taking place along the cliffs of a tropical cove. This is a rotationally symmetrical map designed around a rail bridge with a train that acts as a hazard, flow redirector, and finale. Think last stage of Cactus Canyon, but PLR. Also more vertical. 

5. Enclosure

Welcome, to Charles Darling’s Triassic Preserve! The past - today! Enclosure is a three-stage payload map inspired by your favorite dinosaur movie.

6. Brazil

Koth_brazil, a King of the Hill map that takes place in a secret base in the jungle, where players fight for radar control.  


Congratulations to all the mappers, asset designers, art pass artists, coffee lackeys, and any additional roles we missed out who were involved in the creation of these maps and had them accepted into the game! Which map are you most excited to play for Jungle Inferno? 

Okay but… Marylin running a storytime youtube channel:

Storytime: My friend left me for an onion.
Storytime: Embarrassing casting moments. SO BAD.
Storytime: Found a guy in a treasure chest.
Storytime: Laughing priest…? Creepy!
Storytime: Shrooms and a talking cat
Storytime: The scariest paranormal experience in New Londo  👻 🔪
Storytime: I thought that day would be my last…  
Storytime: Naked teacher attacked me  🍆
Storytime: About that pit in backyard…  
Storytime: I got kidnapped!  😱 😱 😱
Storytime: Stalked by an assassin! NOT CLICKBAIT!
Storytime: I hired my stalker  💰
Storytime: Trapped in an abandoned prison! 😰
Storytime: I was suspected for a murder  😡 🔪  😱  
Storytime: THEY SAW US!!!  💦 💦
Storytime: My first time at church 

Interview: Brie

Today we’re joined by Brie. Brie is a phenomenal young aspiring artist who specializes in visual art. She enjoys drawing people, including some original characters, and dabbles in fanart as well. Her work shows an incredible attention to detail and a sense of whimsy as well. Brie is a very enthusiastic and passionate artist, as you’ll soon read. My thanks to her for taking the time to participate in this interview.

WORK

Please, tell us about your art.

My art is mainly people because, well that’s really what I know I can do. I like to draw specific people as well as making up and drawing my own characters!

What inspires you?

I’m inspired by the pits of hell I called my brain as well anything I see around my school and in my everyday life

What got you interested in your field?  Have you always wanted to be an artist?

To be completely honest when I was little I really wanted to be a fashion designer but I have always loved drawing and up until last year I hadn’t really done any drawing but then I got really bored in my math class and I started up again! I have honestly never been more thankful for a really boring teacher!

Do you have any kind of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work that you’d be willing to reveal?

The only thing that really comes to mind is that I always put my signature somewhere in my drawing, but other than that I can’t really find anything else.

What advice would you give young aspiring artists?

Some advice that I could give any young artists would be, and although it sounds very cliché, but honestly don’t give up on what your working on, if you feel as if you have no good ideas just draw or write about it anyway, even if it turns out bad, DO IT ANYWAY!

ASEXUALITY

Where on the spectrum do you identify?

I identify as a homoromantic asexual

Have you encountered any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field?  If so, how do you handle it?

Sadly, I live in a very Christian family and my grandmother is quite homophobic, so I haven’t really told anyone save some of my close friends. Whenever I bring up any form of conversation about asexual stuff, I get told “no you’ll find someone” and stuff like that and honestly I have never had so many quick change conversations about food in my life.

What’s the most common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?

The biggest misconception I find about asexuality is that most people think that people who are ace have no emotions, and anytime anyone askes me so you don’t have emotions right I just have to stare at them so a minute, then morph into a purple dragon and fly away form the stupidity.

What advice would you give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their orientation?

Some advice I could give would probably be just go with what feels right, go with the one that makes you genuinely happy and see where it goes from there!

Finally, where can people find out more about your work?

My art handle is mainly my Instagram at weirdonamedbrie. I’m planning on also posting some work on my Tumblr at weirdonamedbrie-art!

Thank you, Brie, for participating in this interview and this project. It’s very much appreciated.

anonymous asked:

Hey did you know that something dark stirs in the depths of the Hellmouth. We can feel it. A Hive abomination bred for unthinkable evil. We must pierce the veil of their Summoning Pits and destroy this creature before the Hive unleash it upon us all.

I approve of this only because I could clearly hear Ikora’s voice

So I was talking to @thejediavengeroftheinternet​ about how people are probably going to react to my Sock Opera chapter and how some of them will complain about how its “too dark” to which I said the episode itself is literally about a twelve year old getting possessed by a demon and that’s already dark enough as it is and then she was like “nah kids be doin that sorta shit all the time nowadays what with their weegee boards they buy from Toys R Us on the shelf right next to Candy Land, so they summon satan and ask him to play Candy Land with him and he’s like “yeah boi that’s my favorite Milton Bradley Game and his second favorite is Parker Brothers” and then I was like “his third favorite is Hanna Barbera” which eventually boiled down to the amazing crossover concept of the Amazing World of Milton Bradley with Satan, Tom and Jerry, Scooby Doo, John Cena, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” and this is what happens when two fucking idiots get together imo someone stop us

... And Action! (Bill Skarsgard X Reader)

anonymous requested: Oi ! i really like ur writings and was wondering if you do bill skarsgard/pennywise stuff ? if you do can you write a oneshot where Y/N plays the older sister (like shes in her twenties or smth) of beverly and pennywise kills her ? but Bill Skarsgard (he plays Pennywise) has a thing for Y/N and really hopes to impress her but it kinda goes wrong in someway ? idek but it’s been a idea i’ve had for ages ! thankss !  

Warnings: Spoilers -? Maybe? IT is a horror movie so, murder and choking. Also brief brief brief topics of vomit.

Word Count: 1880

A/N: I’m fully aware this is one shot is a bit bizarre and definitely a specific niche (not one that I share necessarily) but I feel like I need to preface this by saying this is simply just for fun. PSA Bev Marsh doesn’t have an older sister Y/N’s role is purely for this work

Originally posted by romanandme

Ever since Y/N got the call telling her she, Y/N L/N, was to play the part of Laura Marsh, her stomach still hasn’t unfolded itself. It was still all balled up in the pit of her lower abdomen, like she could hurl at any time. It had been there through the three months of filming they had done and she concluded that it would probably never leave.

Her character didn’t play much of a part in the loser’s club, but Y/N’s character was given her own story in the film. She was Laura Marsh, the real town ‘slut’  even though she often used her little sister Bev as a scapegoat. She hung out with Patrick Hocksetter and Henry Bower, and was usually one of Bev and the loser’s tormentors. Laura was a bitch by all standards of convention, even Y/N could admit, which was her death scene was supposed to be simultaneously terrifying and reliving.  

Y/N watched as the loser’s from her black chair as they played hand games and laughed together on the pavement. The blacktop was so hot! She thought, how the hell did they stand it? Y/N technically had only stopped being a kid three years ago (she was 21 now) but she still could never remember a time where she was so uncaring.

“Do ya’ know when they’re gonna start already? Jesus lets just get on with the scene already!” The slightly squeaky voice of Nicholas Hamilton (Henry Bowers) abruptly asked beside her. Three months ago she would’ve jumped, but now she didn’t even think about it. She heard a chair scraping against the ground and it groaned with the weight of Nick’s body. She turned and smiled at him, placing her thick and annotated script onto her lap. He was wearing an orange wife beater tanktop and Y/N could see redness on his shoulders beginning to form.

“Whoa I die in this scene! You want me gone that much, huh?” Y/N asked, feigning hurt as she chuckled lightly. It was the most unfortunate death for poor Laura Marsh, first she was kissed and then left by her boyfriend (which just so happened to be Henry Bowers) in the sewers of all places, then she was brutally ripped apart by a clown wearing his face. Y/N knew that the younger actor was anxious for his first on-screen make out (he had told her so time and time again) but she hoped the playful conversation would calm his nerves.  

Y/N was nervous too but for a different reason entirely. She was an experience actress, she had crossed all the necessary rights of passage, yet she was so nervous. Y/N had talked to Bill Skarsgard twice and she couldn’t shake her stupid, girlish crush. She hardly knew the guy for fuck’s sake! She had wanted so much to come from this movie, It was her first big production movie, but now she was most certainly gonna screw up. How the hell could she pretend to be terrified of the guy when she was secretly thinking ‘I want you to rub my mouth on your mouth’?

“No! No!” Nick assured, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s not the death I’m looking forward to,” he whispered under his breath not so subtly. A few moments of hot silence followed before he reached over and grabbed the script from Y/N’s lap. He lazily fanned himself with it boyishly.

“You’ve got another coupla scenes after this so it’s not like you’re not going anywhere!” He joked as he tried in vain to cool himself off. His voice was shaking slightly and his laughs were constrained, like he wasn’t breathing in enough. Y/N cocked her eyebrow and waited for a few seconds before she made a lunge for her script. She, of course, missed it and hit her elbow on the wooden arm rest of his chair.

“C’mon why do you carry this thing anyhow? Everyone knows you memorized this thing cover to cover the instant you got it.” Nick teased stretching his arm away from Y/N as he peered at all of her highlights and somewhat embarrassing notes.

Y/N tried to crack a smile, but it was true, she did take it everywhere. How could she not? How else could she ensure she’d pull through? Besides was it so wrong for her to make sure everything went perfectly?

Nevertheless, she was beginning to suspect that Nick knew something that he shouldn’t, that sneaky little son of a bitch. She was about to reply with a typical snarky remark but she was interrupted by Andy (the director) shouting, “Y/N, Nick, and Bill - Scene 6 please!” Her heart sank as her body began to move without her brain’s consent. Nick had already jumped up and ran over to Andy enthusiastically. Meanwhile, Y/N’s thighs peeled up from her chair and she awkwardly waddled over to join them.

Andy took one glance at her before waving a makeup artist down and whispering in her ear. How ironic that this makeup artist looked like a scary clown herself, what with all that highlighter. The girl took a dry rag and began to dab Y/N’s face a bit, before she was pulled onto set by someone’s face she didn’t even get to see.

Nick grabbed Y/N’s hand and lightly guided her into position, awaiting Andy to shout “Action!” Y/N could still see the kids offscreen playing their hand games, but now one of them had begun throwing little balls of mud.  

“Alright! Is everyone in position?!” Andy asked looking around as if he were waiting for someone to point out a problem. He nodding to the man holding the slate, before loudly shouting “AND ACTION!”

Nick immediately pushed Y/N’s hips up against the walls of the sewers and she giggled obnoxiously. His lips roughly greeted hers in a strained, but very teenager, kiss. The kiss lasted only for a couple of seconds before he pulled away and wiped his mouth, following the script to a tee.

“You’re getting better.” He commented rudely and went back to give her another kiss. But Y/N’s character, Laura pushed his chest back, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Henry?” Y/N made sure to smack her lips together, to cock her head, and roll her eyes.

“It means that I thought sluts like you were supposedta’ be good at kissin’. But I guess sluts aren’t really known for their kissin’ anyways.” Again, Nick went in for a kiss, but Y/N pushed him back and feigned disbelief.  

Only open your mouth slightly, stop cocking your head, frown, stare, make your eyes water Y/N went through exactly what she had to do in the mirror time and time again, perfecting every part of her express- Crap, lower your chin and …. cry!

Nick glanced at her, though by now her character was balling. “You’re a fucking crazy bitch. You know that right? How much do you charge again?” He asked so sourly the words curdled in his mouth.

“Just get the fuck outta here!” Y/N yelled and she could see, out of her peripheral vision, Andy mouthing along to the words. Nick smirked evilly, before exiting the set and giving her an encouraging off screen thumbs up. Y/N slumped down and cried pathetically, just as it was written. But eventually she stood and stumbled around in the sewers, crying all the way. She could feel the presence of the camera over her shoulder as it followed her like a ghost. Abruptly, the sound of demonic laughter reverberated around the metal of the sewer hitting Y/N’s ears. Bill was too good at that. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand. Her character stopped walking and wiped her nose with the back of her cranberry colored sweatshirt.

A floating red balloon bobbed through the air as it came softly down to where Y/N was standing. It bobbed so peacefully (like the script had said), so her character tried to reach out to get it like a  young child. Perhaps poor slut Laura Marsh needed comfort too, Y/N pondered.

“AND PENNYWISE GO!” Andy shouted, marking where CGI would be used to create a horrifying, deformed hell version of Bill’s beautiful face. Y/N jumped and let out a throaty, raspy scream, the same scream she was hired for. She felt cold hands on her sweatshirt before she saw Bill, but once she did she couldn’t help to scream again. It was nightmarish, with his enlarged forehead and pointed smile.

The clown pinned Y/N up against the wall, which would’ve actually choked her if it had not been for the slight incline that let her tiptoes hang on. She gasped and sputtered, still crying and struggling pathetically. “HO HO HEHEHE!” The clown laughed in her ear and the sound shocked her so much that Y/N lost her footing, her toes couldn’t get a grip on the wet floor of the sewer. Bill was already so much taller than her at 6’4” that in order to deliver the lines properly, he had begun brought her up to his face. She gripped tightly onto his gloved hands as she coughed and began to feel a bit light headed as he continued to laugh maniacally.

Just kill me already! Y/N painfully thought, she would hate to be the reason for the failed take. But Pennywise, or Bill, never seemed to talk fast enough and Y/N was really beginning to feel the effects as she tried desperately to gulp in air.

“I - I,” Wheeze. “C-c-can’t-t,” Wheeze.  

Immediately like a switch had been pulled, she felt the pressure on her throat release as she fell to the ground into the disgusting water. She gulped in sweet air like she had never breathed before and Andy, god bless him, finally shouted “Cut!”

“Y/N! Are you alright!? I really didn’t mean to! I mean I thought maybe - but - I’m so sorry!” Pennywi- Bill shouted, helping her up by placing his hand on the small of her back. It was so odd hearing him be so gentle and polite while wearing such a terrifying costume. His eyes, which five seconds ago where full of such rage, now were softened and sad. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” Bill said exasperatedly and guided her over to where Andy sat, all the while she was still breathing in and out deeply.

“Y/N! Y/N! What happened!” Y/N heard the voices of the child actors as they ran over to inspect the situation.

“It was the heat you dufas!” One of the kids proclaimed obviously, as they patted her shoulder. But all Y/N could focus on was the sound of her heart beating as she panted heavily.

“I’m …  fine guys.” Y/N confirmed as she rubbed her neck tenderly. Now that she finally had air in her lungs, the pain of where Bill’s fingers had wrapped around her throat set in.

“I’m so sorry,” Bill repeated as he tried to give her kindest smile he could, buck tooth, blood drenched and everything.

Used to This - Part II

Overview: You’ve lived with the Winchesters for years as a fellow hunter, and everyone has always stayed well in the friend zone. What happens when nightmares come haunting and Dean offers to help? Will things change, or is it all in your head?

Characters: Dean, Reader, with special guest appearance by Sam

Word Count: 2,524

Warnings: Nightmares, crap motel blankets, cold feet, language, and FLUFF

A/N: I thought the first part of this was just gonna be a drabble. Then it turned into a oneshot. Now it’s turned into a mini series. Oops. Blessings bestowed up on @wheresthekillswitch and @hannahindie for fixing my letter errors and giving me all the encouragement. And Lee is the whole reason this second part even exists, so thanks to her for demanding more.

Read: (Part 1)

Cold. I noticed it in my toes first, a sharp sensation that had my feet stretching down in desperate search of my quilt. Chill bumps prickled my legs and quickly traveled up my spine and down my arms. An involuntary shudder briefly shook my shoulders. Where are my damn covers?

A sensation of blissful warmth tickled my memory, and in one quick flash it all came back to me. My eyes snapped open, my chills long forgotten as I blinked and waited for my pupils to dilate. The cold had already answered my inquiry, but my adjusted eyes confirmed it; Dean was gone.

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No More Locked Doors!

[Context: My human monk character recovers a book owned by her missing master from Gnolls and locked herself in her room to read it. After reading the book and succeeding in a constitution save, the knowledge from the book causes psychic damage and I scream so loud my party members hear me.]

Hobbs ( Human Rogue): *knocks* "Are you ok Dorrali, do you need anything?“

Me: *Says nothing and is in pain*

DM (As book): A voice comes from the book. ”You probably should answer the  door, he sounds concerned for your well being.“ Walking closer to the book Dorrali can see a face the cover of the book formed from the worn leather giving the appearance of eyes, nose and mouth with the mouth moving as the book speaks to her the cracked leather looking like wrinkles of a wizened old face.

Me: *Is tripping out over the book* “Whatever this thing did to me is tripping me out.”

Book: “You are not "tripping out”, I am speaking to you.

Hobbs OOC: *Hears the unfamiliar voice* I pick the lock.

Me OOC: You know I forbid you from entering my room?

Hobbs OOC: Dorrali will love Hobbs sooner or later? *Rolls 14*

DM: Lock DC was 15

Vicq (Perverted bard Halfling): *Sees Hobbs trying to get into my room* "Hobbs! you naughty scamp! It seems just like Dorrali to play hard to get, making you toil for your spoils. *Knocks on the door* Dorrali, darling, things are heating up out here between just the two of us, we could really use your, shall we say, supervision?" 

Me (Sheltered in a monastery for all my life): "What are you talking about?”

Hobbs: “I heard voices and became concerned that Dorrali didn’t answer when I knocked." 

Vicq: "Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me that Dorrali has brought someone into the shadow Viper pit, without letting any of us know, against specific orders not to do so?” *At the top of his lungs* "Dorrali…you got som ‘splaining to do!!!“ In an unfamiliar accent as gets a running start to drop-kick the door open.

Vicq: *Nat 20*

DM: The door swings open and you she a red faced Dorrali slouched over in the middle of the floor. Hair clinging to her forehead from sweat and a book clenched in her hand.

Me: *Frazzled by everything that's happening* "CAN’T A GIRL READ AND GET WRECKED BY A BOOK IN PEACE AROUND HERE?!”

anonymous asked:

what are some effective ways to describe fear? I don't have enough words in my vocab arsenal so I could use a little help! thank you :')

Hi!

I understand how fear can be hard to capture, because everybody experiences and shows it differently and because, like all emotions, it has calibers and gradients. I think I can help you on both accounts.

Firstly: Types of fear. (I haven’t ranked these in any particular order.)

1. Anxiety:  defined as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome”. Separate from the disorder, when I think of anxiety I think of nail-biting, eyebrows drawn together, sweating. Anxiety is like nervousness, but heavier.

2. Nervousness: defined as “the quality or state of being nervous”, and nervous is defined as “easily agitated or alarmed; tending to be anxious; highly strung”. Nervousness is more when you don’t know whether the outcome of something is going to be good or bad (the typical fear of the unknown), whereas anxiety is the fear of a bad outcome.

3. Horror: defined as “ an intense feeling of fear, shock, or disgust”. Horror is fear mixed mainly with disbelief or shock: for example, a scene after a shooting on the news might horrify somebody, or an account of things done at the Auschwitz camps might horrify someone.

4. Terror: defined simply as “extreme fear”. Terror is the most unadulterated of these emotions – it’s strong, bright, pure fear, plain and simple.

5. Dread: defined as “great fear or apprehension”. Dread is similar to anxiety, but heavier even than that, because the feeling implies that you already know the outcome is not good, whereas anxiety expects a bad outcome but isn’t sure.

6. Panic: defined as “sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior”. This is the child of terror – the need to do something causes you to do anything.

I think that’s it for emotions – now for how to show them. (Keep in mind you don’t have to use every single one of these mannerisms/feelings for every single character – it really depends on the person.)

1. Anxiety: lip-biting, nail-biting, foot-tapping, leg-tapping, laughing a lot, falling very quiet, being irritable, panic attacks (crying, hyperventilating), shaking, nausea

2. Nervousness: queasiness, fluttery stomach, laughing a lot, nail-/lip-biting, foot-/leg-tapping

3. Horror: I can’t think of any outward signs, but a feeling of shock with a negative connotation

4. Terror: wide eyes, paleness, shaking, hyperventilating, crying

5. Dread: a pit in your stomach, heaviness in your limbs

6. Panic: hyperventilating, crying, speech problems (word vomiting, especially calm speech, or repetition)

I hope this helps! If you need anything else, please feel free to ask. - @authors-haven

Bruised (Richie/Eddie) 11/12

Summary: It’s 1993 and the summer from many years ago is dead and gone. Many have drifted apart from the Losers club and its at the point where there is no club at all. The atmosphere is cold just like the winter months and the only blushes to be found are the ones that are caused from the piercing spikes of cold that heat skin up. Being a teenage boy is hard; especially for the two boys that now count each other as strangers. In which both boys make a plan, but both disrupt each others.

Warning(s): Sensitive topics ahead, a few characters are ooc, acts of violence

A/N: 1 part left ! aLSO credit to @nonbinaryreddie aka QUEN for helping me out throughout this series with lil bits im stuck on, i love you! sorry for any mistakes i-

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12(Soon) |

Everything was hazed, Richie felt distant as ever; almost as if his own soul was lingering outside of his skin. His skin was pricked by cold sensations, with his heart beat flickering in his ears.

Where was he?

His eyes almost felt as if someone was holding them shut, everything aching all over his body and he felt his blood strike though his veins icily. Something was terribly wrong, not to mention the sense of dread that pierced his core.

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Countdown

BACK WITH ANOTHER ONE-SHOT!!! I told you guys I’d have some canonverse klangst, so here it is! Longer than my usual one-shots, and while I don’t want to give a vague summary… there’s a bomb involved. So. Yeah, that’s a thing.

This one is actually inspired by this absolutely gorgeous, angsty art/mini-comic by @littlecofiegirl who is an amazing artist that you should definitely check out!!

I saw this comic on my dash and I loved it so much that I was immediately inclined to write for it? Anyway, here it is! I hope you enjoy!


The plan had been going flawlessly.

Key word being had.

Shiro and Lance were both searching opposite sides of the base for their captured teammate, and Pidge and Hunk were too occupied giving Shiro directions through the maze-like corridors that they neglected to warn Lance of the approaching Galra heat signature.

A cat blocked his path in the hall, staring at him with large, yellow eyes. It didn’t move to attack, but it also didn’t run away.

“Um… guys?” Lance tried over the coms, lowering his gun just a bit. He wasn’t about to shoot a cat, but he still wanted to be on guard.

He didn’t hear the Galra behind him until her hand was on his shoulder.

That was mistake number one.

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I bought a 3 euro gouache pack from the supermarket near my house and the moment I opened it I knew immediately that everything will be left in ruin

anw gas mask

How to Avoid Conflict with Pirates

Context: We are a group of fae knights, sworn to the eternal flame. With our knighthood comes armor that had several magic properties including a short distance communication spell. One of the NPCs in our party started developing some really strong nature powers in near god-like scale. Using his newfound abilities, our party created a living boat made of trees to continue our trek. We bound some wind and water elementals to make our journey faster.

GM: As you go along, some of the tree start turning into fruit bearing trees- mostly peaches- and some nut trees. A few days of uneventful journey passes when you finally see a another ship in the distance. The crew you hired identify it as a pirate ship.

Artificer Shapeshifter: “I want to turn into a seagull and go over there to spy on them.”

Pixie fighter: “I’m going with!”

Elven Ranger (also the unit captain): I’m staying on our boat. Like a normal person.

GM: Alright. You get over there and they are busy arguing. Some of them want to board your vessel. They really want that fruit. Most of them think you are a cursed moving island and want nothing to do with you. The Captain is one of the people that want to board.

Fighter: “Can we like… Carve a fruit into a skull and throw it at the captain?”

Artificer: “Oooh, that gives me an idea.”

Ranger (over the com spell) “What are you two planning?”

Artificter: “I’m sorry kssst we must be getting out of range kssssttt you’re breaking up.“ 

Ranger(ooc): Oh god.

Artificer: Anyways, I’m going to use a shaping spell on the pit of a peach into a skull and then teleport it into the pirate captains hand.

Fighter: "Yeeeeessssssss.”

GM: Oh. My. God. So the captain looks really confused and slowing draws a knife and cuts into the peach. One of the ther pirates says “You gonna share that, Captain?” He looks down at it in horror and says “You can HAVE it." 

Fighter: "We should go back to our boat now.”

Artificer: “Yup.”

GM: As you head back to your ship, you notice the pirate ship taking off very, very fast. There are patrols over in that direction and they do not care. They want to get away as fast as possible, even if it means getting caught.

Ranger: When they get back I look at them and say “What. Did. You. Two. Do?”

Fighter: “This is what happens when we don’t have our elven handler.”

Artificer: “To be fair, we were unsupervised." 

GM: Later that day, you see the naval patrolling vessels. They circle you a couple times, trying to figure out what you even are before pulling up next to your ship and demanding your papers in a very confused tone. The captain you hired shows the papers, acting like this is all normal. They go through all the official stuff needed. The naval officer then says "One last question: are you haunted? We caught some… errm… mercantile vessel without papers- alright, I’m mincing words, they were pirates- and they said they saw a haunted floating forest?”