in the men's rooms

Doorless Stalls

For a short period while renovating, one of the college library bathrooms had no stalls. It was 3 toilets facing 3 toilets with dividers between each toilet. Most guys avoided this men’s room and instead ventured to another building. I however, went out of my way to use these stalls for the short period. 

The bathroom was usually quiet most of time except for 9am. I noticed that was the busiest time. Guys would finish their 8am class then rush in for their morning shit. On this particualr day, two guys walked in together. One was blonde with a beanie on, baggy pants and some DC sneakers on. The other was an Asian kid with black hair, some tight jeans and converse sneakers on. 

They took two of the 3 stalls across from me. The blonde lowered his pants all the way to the floor and sat with his legs wide open. He had a smaller dick, but very large balls that blocked most of the view into the bowl. He farted softly a few time and loudly pissed into the bowl as he stared at his phone. I watched a series of logs drop into the bowl, making a splash each time. He sat for about 5 mins before wiping up and heading out. 

While the blonde got right to work, the Asian student took him time prepping the seat with a protector. He also peeled his tight jeans down to his ankles and sat. He had an average size dick and was extrmely hairy. I heard some crackling and watched what appeared to be a continuous foot of shit fall into the bowl. He then pissed and finished rather quickly. He stood to wipe, his ass facing me. It too was very hairy and took many passes before the paper was clean. He pulled up his briefs first, adjusting his package carefully before pulling up his jeans and washing up. 


Favorite Films, 2016

  1. Moonlight (dir. Barry Jenkins)
  2. Lemonade (dir. Kahlil Joseph and Beyoncé Knowles Carter)
  3. Certain Women (dir. Kelly Reichardt)
  4. Little Men (dir. Ira Sachs)
  5. Elle (dir. Paul Verhoeven)
  6. 13th (dir. Ava Duvernay)
  7. American Honey (dir. Andrea Arnold)
  8. The Fits (dir. Anna Rose Holmer)
  9. Green Room (dir. Jeremy Saulnier)
  10. 88:88 (dir. Isiah Medina)
  11. Toni Erdmann (dir. Maren Ade)
  12. 20th Century Women (dir. Mike Mills)
  13. Pete’s Dragon (dir. David Lowery)
  14. Personal Shopper (dir. Olivier Assayas)
  15. The Handmaiden (dir. Park Chan-wook)
  16. Paterson (dir. Jim Jarmusch) 
  17. Neon Bull (dir. Gabriel Mascaro)
  18. The Invitation (dir. Karyn Kusama)
  19. 10 Cloverfield Lane (dir. Dan Trachtenberg)
  20. La La Land (dir. Damien Chazelle)
  21. Mountains May Depart (dir. Jia Zhangke)
  22. Wiener-Dog (dir. Todd Solondz)
  23. The Love Witch (dir. Anna Biller)
  24. Everybody Wants Some!! (dir. Richard Linklater)
  25. The Eyes of My Mother (dir. Nicolas Pesce)

Honorable Mentions (in alphabetical order): Arrival (dir. Denis Villeneuve) | Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (dir. Zack Snyder) | A Bigger Splash (dir. Luca Guadagnino) | Don’t Breathe (dir. Fede Alvarez) | Jackie (dir. Pablo Larraín) | Julieta (dir. Pedro Almodóvar) | Krisha (dir. Trey Edward Shults) | Kubo and the Two Strings (dir. Travis Knight) | Louder Than Bombs (dir. Joachim Trier) | Manchester by the Sea (dir. Kenneth Lonergan) | No Home Movie (dir. Chantal Akerman) Things to Come (dir. Mia Hansen-Løve) | Train to Busan (dir. Yeon Sang-ho) | The Wailing (dir. Na Hong-jin) | The Witch (dir. Robert Eggers)

Films I Missed: Aquarius | Cameraperson | Cosmos | The Edge of SeventeenEmbrace of the Serpent | Fences | Fire at Sea | Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party | Hidden Figures | I Am Not Your Negro A Monster CallsNeruda | Nocturama O.J.: Made in America | The Ornithologist | Right Now, Wrong Then | Shin Godzilla | The Woman Who Left

“Where did you get that nail polish?”

He didn’t mention that he gave him a manicure, too.
This is stupid I’m sorry what have my life become