in realm

anonymous asked:

In the Familiar!Au (which is amazing by the way!), how often does Bill try to taunt Ford with basically "I banged your great grand nephew and stole his V-card and still banging him"? And how often does Dipper have to stop Bill before he could say that?

Like Dipper doesn’t keep a very close eye on Bill and Ford whenever they’re in the same county, much less the same house.

Bill would love to taunt Ford with that fact.  It’d be amazing! Ford would be furious! Helpless against the fact that it’s happened, it keeps happening, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

But Bill also knows if Dipper ever hears Bill using that particular tactic - His human’s shown he’s entirely willing to knee Bill in the groin. 

So the answer is: Not Yet. Bill’d do it, given the opportunity, but he’d sacrifice any non-kneeing groin interactions for the foreseeable future. Bill’s leaving it for either when he has a chance to get away with it, or when it’s for a joke he just can’t resist, despite the consequences.

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I was debating whether to post this to my art blog, but honestly, let’s just post it here for now.  Taken from an episode of Brooklyn 99, Season 4 Ep. 8