in our studio

A personal account of quiet biphobia.

My parents are socially liberal and loving people and made it clear to me from an early age that it was okay if I was gay. I was told it was fine, it was acceptable, and if I ever brought home a girlfriend, they would love me exactly the same. I’m pretty sure my dad was convinced I was a lesbian from my teen years on and didn’t mind at all (a bunch of his high school and college friends were gay).

But I also saw my mom roll her eyes at the girl who identified as bisexual at our dance studio and heard her quote the tired adage that there are no bisexuals; just gay men still half in the closet and straight girls who want attention. Now my mom isn’t a cruel or intolerant person; she’s loving and warm and an amazing human being. But she’d absorbed the cultural idea that bisexuality isn’t real/is a fad/is only the purview of attention seekers or a sign that someone is confused over whether they’re gay or not. 

So the message became clear: Gay is okay. Bi is not.

I was sixteen the first time a girl kissed me and I got butterflies in my stomach. I was eighteen when, at the bottom of a drunk-hot-coed-cuddle pile, I realized my panties were far wetter than they should be, then put the dots together and figured out I had sexual attraction to women.

If I had been exclusively attracted to women, this wouldn’t have been a problem. I would have come out as gay and had a big hug party with my parents and my mom probably would have gotten a rainbow decal on her car.

But I was dating a guy at the time and I still liked guys. I wasn’t gay; I was bisexual. And to admit as much would just make me an attention-seeking whore or a poor confused soul. So I kept my mouth shut.

I kept my mouth shut long after I graduated college and said guy and I broke up. I was twenty-three or twenty-four by the time I came out, in a simple phone conversation with my mom.

I told her I was bi. 

“You’re gay?” 
“No, I’m bi.” 
“Oh, so you’re not sure.” 
“No, I’m definitely sure. I like both guys and girls.” 
“Well, lots of people think both sexes are aesthetically attractive…”
“I experience sexual attraction to men and to women, mom.”
“When did this happen?” 
“I mean, I think I always have been, but the first clue was back when [girl’s name] kissed me at [high school summer program] in 2006.”
“….Oh. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think I was just looking for attention.”

To this day, I’m still not sure she gets it, though she’s made it clear she doesn’t mind who I bring home. I think she still thinks I’m confused over being gay or not. Dad genuinely doesn’t appear to give a flying fuck and has never brought it up beyond asking if I’m dating any cute boys or girls. Overall, I’m very fortunate. My parents love me and haven’t rejected me for my sexuality and won’t reject any partner I have.

But I still stayed in the closet for years longer than I would have if I was simply gay. Not necessarily out of fear of rejection, but more out of fear of invalidation. 

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Packing up! - I was given 24 hours notice to clear my studio on Toronto Island this week because of flooding. Luckily there hasn’t been any damage to our studio (as of yet). But the water is getting progressively closer and is expected to continue rising over the next month so the city has forced us to evacuate.

ARCH ENEMY To Release 'Will To Power' Album In September

Extreme metallers ARCH ENEMY will release their tenth studio album, “Will To Power”, on September 8 via Century Media Records.

Commented guitarist Michael Amott: “After many months of writing and recording in the studio, we are delighted to have finally completed work on our tenth studio album, ‘Will To Power’. We are looking forward to sharing new music with you soon. We are equally excited to announce the first leg of our 'Will To Power’ world tour… Can’t wait to play new and old songs for our fans. See you all soon!”

“Will To Power” will mark the second ARCH ENEMY album since the departure of longtime singer Angela Gossow and addition of her replacement, former THE AGONIST frontwoman Alissa White-Gluz. It will also be the first ARCH ENEMY disc to feature guitarist Jeff Loomis (ex-NEVERMORE), who joined the band in late 2014.

ARCH ENEMY bassist Sharlee D'Angelo recently told Metal Wani about the band’s upcoming follow-up to 2014’s “War Eternal”: “On 'War Eternal’, there was a certain desperation about that album. But I still can feel it when I listen to it, maybe because I was involved in it. Having lost a longtime, very important member of the band and introducing someone else, a new face into the band, and you wonder, that’s even more, like, 'Okay, we have a new album. I wonder what people will like about it, or if they will like it at all.’ There’s a few nerves there. In the process of recording that album, writing and recording, there was so much going into… There’s something desperate and very dense about that album. Now, we know we did it. We’re still here; people have accepted the change and embraced Alissa and everything as well. Things are better than they were before, so now you have a completely different vantage point and starting point, for that matter.”

He continued: “This album is a bit more open in that sense. It sounds more open and some of the songs I would say, dare I use the word 'epic’. [Laughs] It’s different, yes, we can do a lot more now than we could… We just don’t have to cram as much metal as possible in the most sort of 'energetic’ way. We can do it in other ways as well. Don’t be scared, I’m not saying everything will be slow; that’s not what is happening. It’s extremely ARCH ENEMY, but within what it is ARCH ENEMY, we have gone out to explore new worlds. It will be some of the same and also some new stuff.”

Amott told Rock Hard magazine in January that Loomis — who was the main songwriter in his former band NEVERMORE — has not contributed to the songwriting on the group’s new disc.

Back in December, Loomis told Metal Wani that he would “probably just be doing solos” on ARCH ENEMY’s upcoming album. He explained: “If you look at it, ARCH ENEMY is Michael Amott — it’s his band, it’s his baby, and he is the main songwriter in the band. I did submit a few songs, and I don’t know if they’ll make it or not. But I definitely will be playing solos on it.”

He continued: “I love being in the band. I am fan of the band. I love the music, and I love playing in front of thousands of people with that band. But we’ll see what happens. It’s kind of the same thing if you can think the same way with NEVERMORE; me and Warrel [Dane, vocals] were the main writers in that band, and we had a revolving door of guitar players. But pretty much, it was me and Warrel that did a lot of it. Steve Smyth wrote a little bit, Tim Calvert wrote for 'Dreaming Neon Black’, but most of it, eighty percent, was me and Warrel. So each band has their own chemistry and their way of doing things.”

ARCH ENEMY’s “As The Stages Burn!” DVD was released on March 31 via Century Media. The set contains video footage of the band’s largest stage production to date from their performance last summer at the Wacken Open Air festival in Wacken, Germany.

i wish people would stop seeing animated movies at the result of big name studios and see them rather as the result of the hard work of hundreds of artists who dedicated their time and effort into creating something for us to enjoy

youtube

Hi! We have already posted photos of our Oxenfree cosplay on twitter but now it’s time for something more! 

We’ve wanted to gather the whole gang for more than a year and we finally did it, I’m so happy right now! The thing is, we have only one cosplay convention in our region and we really wanted to present Oxenfree here since the game is not very popular in Russia (partly because there is no official localization yet). We were so happy to hear from people who saw our show that they “didn’t understand a thing, but it looked so creepy and cool that now we want to play it” :D
We have a lot of plans for this cosplay ‘cause Oxenfree needs more love and appretiation! Yeah, I’ll never get tired of saying this.
Many thanks to everyone in @nightschoolstudio for their hard work on one of the best games we played <3

Clarissa - @fedolf
Jonas - @vicious-mongrel
Nona - @yencys
Ren - Piece of Cake
Alex - Stish Rariint

A client walked in to our studio asking for some business cards offers and wanting for me to create the design.

Me: So, what type of design you want?

Client: I dunno. Whatever you want.

Me: What is your company’s name? Here are a few examples of work I’ve already done. Is there anything here that speaks to you?

Client: Uh… It’s [X] And I think I like… this design.

I make a design based on the little info I have. I ask about multiple things and the client doesn’t even seem to have planned out the services he offers. Still, I cobbled together something decently professional and sent it to him.

Me: What do you think?

Client: I don’t like it.

Me: Okay… Well, what would you prefer?

Client: I dunno. Whatever you want.

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Today is the the day! Check out your local comic shop or online retailers for the first issue of The Power of the Dark Crystal, a 12-issue sequel to the classic Jim Henson film.

We’ve talked a little about it before, but I really can’t stress how in love we are with the story and world that Si is crafting from the original screenplay. To show Thra post-movie, restored to its former glory and share in adventures of new characters and old, was not an opportunity we could pass up! The Dark Crystal ranks among our favorite movies ever, and it was an honor to be asked to illustrate it.

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ANIME UPDATE
Built my second shelf & I’ve decided to rechristen the top shelf as the main movie shelf & half the second shelf be for TV anime & movies directly connected to those shows.

What I’ve got (from first post):
The girl who leapt though time
Summer wars
Wolf children 
The boy and the beast
Nausicaä of the valley of the wind
The cat returns
Porco Rosso 
Kiki’s delivery service 
Laputa castle in the sky
Princess Mononoke 
My neighbour Totoro 
Spirited away
Ponyo
Arrietty 
From up on poppy hill
The tale of princess Kagua 
When Marnie was there
The castle of Cagliostro 
Evangelion 1.11 you are (not) alone 
Evangelion 2.22 you can (not) advance 
Evangelion 3.33 you can (not) redo 
Ghost in the shell (1995)
Ghost in the 2 innocence 
Ghost in the shell solid state society 
FLCL
Panty and stocking with garter belt 
Kill la kill
Gurren Lagann 
Gurren Lagann childhoods end
Gurren Lagann the lights in the sky are stars
Madoka magica 
Madoka magica the movie rebellion 
Perfect blue
Paprika 
Lupin the third the woman called Fujiko Mine
Fate zero
Space Dandy 
Cowboy bebop 
Cowboy bebop the movie 
High school of the dead 
Afro Samurai 
First squad 
Eden of the east 
Black lagoon Roberta’s blood trail
Akira
Nadia the secret of blue water 
Blue exorcist 
Attack on Titan 
Berserk (1998)
Full metal alchemist brotherhood 
Metropolis 
Elfen Lied

What I’ve gotten since the last post:
Redline
The place promised in our early days
Voices of a distant star
The sky crawlers
Akame Ga Kill
Whisper of the heart
Howls moving castle

Adi TV Studios is still fighting for Eyewitness, and we cannot give up either!

USA Network has canceled Eyewitness after one season, but this does not have to be the end. This is not what we were hoping for, but there is a point in keeping at it and fighting for our favorite show! Shows have been un-canceled before and it can happen again!

  • Scrubs moved from NBC to ABC in 2008
  • Stargate SG-1 was canceled by Showtime after 5 seasons and it moved to Sci-Fi for another 5
  • Star Trek The Original Series was in danger of being canceled after season 2 and look what it is today
  • Cagney & Lacey was canceled by CBS after 2 seasons and a letter writing campaign brought it back for 4 more
  • The Killing was canceled by AMC and moved to Netflix
  • The Mindy Project was canceled by Fox and picked up by Hulu for more episodes
  • Nashville was canceled by ABC and found a new home with CMT
  • Roswell was canceled twice - first the WB picked it up again and then it moved to UPN
  • Southland was canceled by NBC and picked up by TNT for another 4 seasons

These are just a few examples of a lot of times it has worked. THERE IS HOPE. DON’T GIVE UP!

Tweet #WeWantEyewitnessSeason2 , #Eyewitness , #Philkas and @ your Tweets to Netflix, AmazonVideo, Hulu or anyone else you can think of.

Let’s make ourselves heard! We’re still here! We still have a chance! And we have Adi TV Studios on our side. Let’s do this!