in order there is

tygermama  asked:

*inspired by that Obi Wan's false sense of superiority post* What we need is an animated series about the psychologist who has to deal with these sentient tire fires. I mean, I'm a human tire fire and even I get help, these guys have no excuse. It needs to be filmed like The Office and as tongue-in-cheek as possible

Look I would pay real currency to watch a series of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s couples counseling. The angst and the passive-aggressiveness and the “I’m fine it’s fine everything’s fine” “NO IT’S NOT OBI-WAN NOTHING IS FINE”. Or individual Jedi counseling.

Better: I want to watch the documentary/mockumentary made by a GFFA psychologist who embeds themselves with the Jedi Order to better understand how they can all be so chill and collected – What’s their secret? How can we all learn, from their example, to embrace serenity in our own lives? – who eventually, as the documentary wears on, comes to realize that THE JEDI ORDER IS COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECKS.

Moments In the Jedi Docu-Series That Win the Public’s Heart and Indirectly Save The Universe

  • Anakin constantly wiping out while showing off but then standing up after it and beaming like that was his plan all along
  • Obi-Wan getting caught in a slip-up he can’t gracefully get out of (“No no, I said, “I’d like to help you out of your [throat clears] stance” to Anakin, not, uh, “pants”, of course, I was helping him…correct his form. Sparring. [blinks] We’re Jedi.” [awkward pause] “OK well I think we’re done for today, right? I should go”)
  • Yoda admitting that Obi-Wan is his favorite kid on camera and then trying to claim he didn’t say it
  • Ahsoka and Rex laughing so hard retelling a story about Anakin getting stuck in a ship’s laundry chute that they both are crying [smash cut to Anakin saying “that entire story about the laundry chute is a lie”]
  • Mace Windu, finally breaking into a smile after months of filming and admitting that “Hell YES I love this job! I’m a fucking JEDI!” while wearing his own meme on a T-Shirt
  • Padme and Satine do a joint interview while at some political luncheon and it VERY quickly gets very funny because they are both hitting the white wine pretty hard 
  • Quinlan Vos: [being interviewed] Celibate? Kriff no, the Jedi aren’t celibate! [laughs hysterically] No. No no no. No. Like, I don’t even know who started that rumor? But like, not even a little bit. [more laughter] I mean, we get around, you know what I mean? I’ve been with plenty of people. Like, a lot. Dignitaries, senators, bounty hunters –
    Obi-Wan: [walking into the shot, whispering harshly] Quin, really, do you think you could conduct yourself with a little bit more decorum? Please?
    Quinlan: [waving him away] OK OK fine, Master Kenobi.
    [Obi-Wan walks out of the shot]
    Quinlan: [looks at the camera, exaggerated whisper] Him too.

HUFFLEPUFF: “A man has only the rights he can defend. Our most basic right is life… Every murder, whether in Brooklyn, Santiago, Rwanda or Kosovo, demands punishment by whatever legal means possible. Otherwise, the right to life is just an empty promise.” –René Balcer + Richard Sweren (Jack McCoy: Law and Order: Vaya Con Dios)

“And then the solution came to him. It was so simple, and so obvious, that he couldn’t believe it had taken so long.”

Literally a summary of Harry