in my pocket please

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”


Able to make him do his killer smile

Witches When Faced with an Antagonist

New Witch: I’ll do a spell to make them go away. First I need twelve candles, three kinds of crystals, five different herbs, and when’s the next full moon?

Intermediate Witch: Eh, how’s one candle and a mushroom I found in my pocket for a curse? It goes “I hate you please die.”

Experienced Witch: Probably faster just to tell them to fuck off.

High for This

High for This by evansrogerskitten

Dean x Reader x Sam, John x Reader

A witch’s curse hexes the three Winchester men and reader, leading to a night of desire that would change things forever.

Warnings: Explicit, Smut, Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Threesome (NO Wincest), Fingering, Language, Dom!John, discussion of being high, dirty talk, orgasm denial, squirting, spanking, mention of a panic attack, Feels, A lil fluff, lack of protection, canon divergence. To be clear- the characters have all consented to all sexual acts in this story. 

Word Count: 8408 | On AO3 | This is inspired by the song High for This by The Weeknd, and my first song for @mrs-squirrel-chester Album Fanficfion Challenge. 

This fic had a mind of its own but I love it. I hope you do too :)

The Impala rolled into a parking space on the street and Sam killed the engine. I straightened the sleeves of my navy fed suit, and looked over at him.

“You really think she’s going to know anything?” Sam pestered, looking through the window.

“Witnesses said two of the victims had been here to see her for readings.” I responded, climbing out of the car. I patted my jacket pocket to make sure I still had my fake FBI badge. “She does readings on love and relationships.”

Sam rolled his eyes as we walked up the sidewalk to the old house.

“What if she’s really psychic then? She’ll know we’re hunters.” Sam suggested sarcastically as he looked over his shoulder to the street.

“Then we’ll improvise. It’ll be fine, Sam.” I responded, looking around the front porch. A bright Psychic Reader sign lit up the front window.

Keep reading

Sombra joins the fight
  • Tracer: I've got you now, Sombra!
  • Sombra: Do you? Well, I've got footage of you with a certain sniper when you were supposed to be on a mission. Didn't Overwatch lose that mission...? I hope it wasn't -- oh look, it was marked 'critical importance'.
  • Tracer: ... *hammers rewind*
  • --Later--
  • D.Va: I'm taking Sombra down!
  • Sombra: Ah, Hana Song. Are you livestreaming right now? I wonder what your followers would think of their gaming queen, if they knew she didn't actually know how to play Poké--
  • D.Va: Uh, uh, my mech's malfunctioning. Stream's going down guys, uhm, whoops. *flies off*
  • --Later--
  • Pharah: Target acquired.
  • Sombra: *sighs* Two words: mommy kink
  • Pharah: lost.
  • --Later--
  • Pharah, D.Va, Tracer, and others: Okay Sombra, this time you're not getting away. We've got the perfect agent to take you down!
  • Lucio: I guess that's my signal.
  • Sombra: Haha, please, let's see...
  • Sombra: *checks pocket computer* uhh
  • Sombra: *starts pulling out folders* hold on, wait
  • Sombra: *starts emptying her pockets* no wait I got this
  • Sombra: *finds a small, crumpled note* Ah hah!
  • Sombra: Lucio, what about that time you, uh, were fifteen minutes late to your shift in the... soup kitchen... because you'd found a sick dog and had to carry it all the way to... are you serious? Are you serious right now, that's it?
  • Sombra: You know what? Just take me in.


  • Pomodoro Timer, Simple Pomodoro | It is hard to get in the right mood to study sometimes, so splitting your reision time in 25 minutes increments (with a five minutes break between each session) makes it a lot less daunting.
  • Forest | If you’re constantly distracted by your smartphone, this application is good as it grows a tree every time your phone is left untouched — and it kills one once you access another application. At the end of a productive day, you’ll have a beautiful forest to track your progress and encourage more study sessions!
  • Coffitivity | If the sound of a coffeehouse is what keeps you focused, this application mimics the noises   even if you’re not able to go to one.


  • Cram, Quizlet | Simple flashcard applications that also has a website, so you can access your flashcards on both your phone and computer!
  • SolCalendar | A handy little calendar application to keep track of your important deadlines and events, so you never end up handing homework in late!
  • Keep | My personal choice for a to-do application. Note down little remainders and things to accomplish throughout the day, and access them online once the day is over! The best feeling is ticking things you’ve done, and feeling like you’ve done a lot… even if you haven’t!
  • Pocket | It’s okay if you’re feeling unproductive. Sometimes, it just happens. But, save some articles or academic journals onto Pocket so you can read it offline, once you do feel more inclined to study!


  • Colorfy | Adult colouring books are really in these days, so here’s a portable colouring book if you’re feeling a little down, or just bored.
  • White Noise | Take a good rest  — you deserve it! And, maybe, you might need a little help to get sustained sleep.

I’m sick so I did some random doodles. Rick Judging Morticia’s taste in boy/girl bands, and New Blood Morticia pretending to be a vampire in a universe where Rick is afraid of vampires instead of pirates. I think drawing in a more Cartoon-y style works best for them. My normal anime style is just too shoujo it looks to weird lmao.

Now I need a fanfic about this

Well, do anybody remember this Morty?

Yep, this one.

Is he controlled by Morty Manipulator chip? 99%. And how do these chips work?

But, wait a minute, isn’t this Stray Cat Morty? And what do we know about them?

And he still keeps this cat? Hmm.


Now, turn on your angstslut imagination. Imagine confused, losing connection with reality Morty, who was an easy first prey for Mysterious Rick. Imagine him being physically, emotionally (and sexually?) abused, but letting “his” grandpa do anything he wants cause he don’t want to lose him again. Imagine him keeping his cat as a sign of unconscious understanding that he belongs to other Rick. And imagine his original Rick coming back home and realizing his grandson missing after two-month period of lunacy. Did you?

Now, go and make a high quality drama for Xychie. Bless you for this, my sinful brosis’. Do it.