in my goddamned bathroom

nefarious ❖ chanyeol

anon requested: Heyo could I request some step brother chanyeol smut where they don’t get along and are constantly teasing each other (in a sexy way?). One day chanyeol is going through the girls Phone and finds her daddy kink bdsm Tumblr and decides to punish her ;) in turn some kinky sex with spanking and bondage. (Lol sorry this is so detailed chanyeol has been fucking me up lately)


(gif not mine, credits to the owner)

7456 words | smut, daddy kink, stepbrother-stepsister relationship, light bondage (choking, thigh riding, spanking), don’t like=don’t read | velvet

✎ Nefarious: wicked, villanous, despicable or simply Park Chanyeol.


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jlm-15  asked:

Your dog sounds amazing, you need to tell us about that door licking story Dumb dogs are the best!

We trained the dog so that when he wants out, he goes to the front door and waits.

Somehow in his little golden retriever brain, he interpreted this to mean “go to the front door, and lick it.”

If he’s at the door, but isn’t licking it, he doesn’t need out, he’s just chilling.

So, this was our routine - when he wants out, he goes to the front door, and licks it. And then we moved house, and he got very, very confused.

He knew he had to go to the front door when he wants out, but this was a new house with obviously a door that was completely new to him.

Despite our condo having only one door that leads outside, and him going out this very same door literally at least five times a day, every day, for about a year…he still has no idea where the front door is in this house. Absolutely no idea at all.

Now whenever he needs out, he will go to any random door and start licking it. And I mean any door - the bathroom door, my bedroom door, my closet, the goddamn door of a kitchen cabinet, even.

I don’t know if he’s really smart or really dumb. Because clearly, he understands conceptually what a door is. I don’t know if he thinks my closet or the kitchen cabinets lead to outside, or if he’s just hoping to find doggy Narnia, or if he’s just hopelessly given up on ever being able to find the door by himself and is just doing the best he can, but every goddamn time he wants out, he’s right there licking the glass door to the shower or something.

He doesn’t alert us he needs out any other way. So if you haven’t seen him in a while, you have to search room by room until you find him with his tongue pressed up against the linen closet because he thinks outside might be that way.

He’s the biggest, dumbest dog I have ever met in my life and I could not love him any more. He’s perfect.

Periods suck

Pairing: Tyler Joseph x Reader

Word Count: 582

Summary: A pretty anticlimactic fic about the reader being moody while on their period.

Masterlist

Originally posted by youareoutofmymind

“You’ve gone to the bathroom fifty times today y/n, are you okay?” Tyler chuckled as you walked back into the living room area of the tour bus.

You felt various sets of eyes glance over to you as Tyler spoke. You frowned and shoved his arm as you sat back down next to him.

Everyone’s attention turned back to the tv when you shoved Tyler, noticing you were annoyed by his comment. You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes when Tyler leaned into your side “Hey, don’t be so frowny” he whispered.

“What do you expect, you’ve just embarrassed me in front of everyone!” you whisper-yelled.

“Oh c’mon, you’re not being serious, it was a joke” Tyler huffed. You shook your head before turning your attention back to the movie playing on the tv.

“Really, you’re going to give me the silent treatment because I asked if you were okay?” he whispered. You glance at him then back to the tv.

“Y/n, talk to me” Tyler sighs and rubbed your thigh.“I’m going to the goddamn bathroom so much because I’m on my fucking period!” you yelled before storming off to the bunks.

You climb in your bunk and pull the curtain over. You sigh heavily and rubbed your temples. Why the fuck did I just shout that in front of everyone.

A minute or so later, you hear light footsteps approaching the bunks and knocking on the wall “Can I come in?” Tyler asked softly “or are you still mad at me?”

You slip a hand out of the bunk and give him a thumbs up, signalling for Tyler to climb into the bunk. Soon Tyler’s strong arms wrap around your middle and he kisses your temple “I’m sorry” Tyler coos as he plays with the hair that was framing your red face.

“I’m so embarrassed Ty” You sigh as you nuzzle your face into his chest. “I just told all of our closest guy friends I’m on my period” you groaned out.

Tyler chuckles and rubbed your back “Babe, you don’t think we know when you’re on your period, it’s super obvious”. Your eyes widen and your head shoots up to meet Tyler’s gaze “What do you mean, you know when I’m on my period?” You frown

“You barely wear anything other than leggings, my sweats or top merch the whole week, you eat constantly, you’re so much more emotional” Tyler started but was soon interrupted by Josh calling out “You shouted at me for showering this morning”

“Oh yeah, you moan at us more when you’re on your period and make us watch all your soppy romance movies” Mark called. The boy in the living room started a chorus of laughter, even Tyler started laughing.

You frowned and crossed your arms “Tyler!” You whined “And you aren’t all over Ty when you’re on your period, any other time of the month you two are like sex crazed rabbits constantly touching and kissing” Michael added.

“I hate you all” you groan out as you cuddle back into Tyler’s body “I’m sorry for acting like that, I don’t mean it” you say just above a whisper. Tyler nodded and smiled “It’s fine love, we’re used to it, we know you can’t help it”

The rest of the night, you spent cuddle in your bunk with Tyler, watching movies on your laptop with heating pack resting on your stomach while he fed you various chocolates and treats until you fell asleep peacefully.

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 88 - Cold Mornings & Rooftops

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she’s certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit…

MASTERLIST

Chapter 88 - Cold Mornings & Rooftops

[After a night spent up on a cold rooftop, Negan and Blake awaken as stiff and sore, as expected…]

Blake gave a small groan as her eyes flickered slowly open.

It was early morning. So early in fact, that the sun was not yet up, and a strained white cloud sat heavy and pale across the sky.

Blake’s entire body right now felt stiff and achy and utterly freezing, and it took her a moment or two to realise just why she was outside, her entire body shivering with cold.

She lifted her head a little, every part of her body, including her neck feeling sore and bruised now, as she turned to look at the soft body she was curled up neatly into.

There he was, lying on his back, eyes closed, his arm still thrown lazily around her, still in that dusty old leather jacket of his…looking far less-exhausted now than he had done last night.

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listen. i know accessibility in games is booming at the moment but we still need to figure out how to make afk periods more possible. sometimes, having a disability means you need to be afk

like, my disability isn’t ‘why didn’t you just use the bathroom before we started!!’ my disability is ‘i’m so sorry but i need to use the bathroom RIGHT NOW’ and sometimes that’s in the middle of a game. pvp based games, sure, that’s fine, i take my lumps because i realize the format just doesn’t allow for a safe afk

but PvE mmo’s? story-mode games, even always online (dark souls or battleborn, for example)? i shouldn’t be punished because i need to pause and step away for a couple of minutes

making your game accessible isn’t always just about putting in the colourblind option or allowing for all kinds of difficulty levels. but people being afk for any reason is so demonized and even like. a topic of humor? like ‘you know that Shitty Gamer who takes a smoke break in the middle of a dungeon! wow!’ like… my mans… yeah that guy sucks but it’s not the same as someone who literally is forced to step away

just think about why you can’t pause your game, and then think harder to put a pause function in. just. holy shit please stop making it impossible for me to take two minutes to use the goddamn bathroom because my disability isn’t a more palatable one but let me assure you it’s just as fuckin serious as any other accessibility issue. i’m chronically ill, on all kinds of medication and i’ve had serious surgery so let me fucking afk when i need to

thx

I am 70% sure that fucking Someone in the classroom released radon chemicals in the air i can feel it getting into my lungs i cant breathe i think i am getting rapid onset lung cancer i am coughing up blood but i cant tell if thats just what always happens to me or if it is from the poisoning

Through the Eyes of the Predator- One Shot (Eric X OC)

Rating: M (swearing/smut:p)

Notes/Warnings: Strong Language

Genre: General

A One Shot of Eric’s thoughts about Fox!

Thanks everyone for the reblogs and support! Please enjoy more of Eric and Fox!

@emmysrandomthoughts @beautifulramblingbrains @iammarylastar @tigpooh67 @bookwarm85 @frecklefaceb @mom2reesie @equalstrashflavoredtrash

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“Fuck off,” I grumble, torn from sleep by my fucking alarm blaring. Swinging blindly, I smack it off the nightstand and it mercifully shuts up.

“Eric.” Comes a whiny female voice beside me. Fuck, forgot about her.

“Get outta here, Dana.”

“It’s Desiree, asshole!”

“Whatever, get out.” Bitch was starting to piss me off, she’s lucky she gave good head.

Muttering under her breath, Dana or whatever her name was got out of my bed, started gathering her clothes. Sitting up against the headboard, I lit a smoke and watched her. She had a good body, but her voice got on my nerves. Suddenly I was tired of watching her. “Hurry up!”

“Fuck you!”

“You wish, get out.”

Still swearing, she finally left, slamming the door behind her.

A headache was pounding behind my eyes, fuck; it’s initiation day and I’m fucking hung-over. Four’s going to be even more annoying to deal with.

I stub my goddamn toe on the way to the bathroom and seriously contemplate just going back to bed. But no, I’m a leader, Dauntless’ youngest leader ever, I gotta set a good example. Mumbling under my breath, I find some aspirin in the cupboard and swallow it dry. Fuck, that’s gross. Turning the shower on just shy of boiling, I strip and step in, letting the hot water loosen the knots in my back, the scratches that bitch left sting like hell, but it was worth it, ain’t had fun like that in awhile. My hair’s getting long, I should stop by the barber before heading into the office.

Five minutes later, I’m out the door. My uniform is pressed and immaculate, and I know it looks good tight on my muscular frame. I’m an asshole, but the bitches are willing to look past that because of my body.

Good, Audrey’s working today, she’s the only hairdresser here that knows what the hell she’s doing. Seeing me, she manages a genuine smile; I tip her well to stay on her good side, appearance is important as a leader, I can’t afford a shit haircut.

“Hey, handsome.” She drawls and I disguise my sneer with a smirk. As if, you’re old enough to be my mother.

“Morning, gorgeous.” Two can play that game.

“The usual?”

“Do your worst.” Closing my eyes, I relax, knowing this will be the only time for the rest of this fucking day it’s going to be quiet enough for me to hear myself think. I’m nearly asleep again when Audrey touches my shoulder, and I fight the instant impulse to smash in her nose. I look at my reflection and manage a half-smile.

“Looks good.”

Yawning, she passes me the payment tablet and I tack on a generous tip before entering my points code. Showing her less than stellar teeth with a wide grin, she thanks me and I grunt in return. Time to go to work. Late this afternoon, the new initiates will be arriving from the Choosing Ceremony. Last year, Four and I both waited at the net for them, and Max was up on the roof, but this year it’s me up there, and Four catching them at the bottom. This’ll give me a chance to size the new blood up.

A mountain of paperwork waits for me when I enter my office, and I can’t help but grimace. Being a leader definitely has its perks, but fucking paperwork isn’t one of them.

Hours later, I look up. I have just enough time to grab something to eat before heading up to the roof to meet the new initiates.

I hear the train, and the initiates yelling, before I see it. Chewing the last of my sandwich, I step up onto the ledge of the roof, putting myself a good three feet higher than I’d normally be, the better to intimidate the little fuckers. Clasping my hands together, I wait. As the train passes, people throw themselves out, some landing gracefully, most not. Most laugh as they roll around, some groan. I wait until no one else leaps from the cars, and the train has passed, before I speak.

“Alright, listen up!” I bellow. Heads swivel in my direction and the masses start moving towards me. “I’m Eric. I’m one of your leaders.”

As I speak, I scan the initiates. Most are Dauntless or Candor and Erudite transfers. There’s one Abnegation and holy shit! There’s one Amity transfer, and she’s fucking hot, but there’s more to her than that. I can’t stop myself from hitching my gaze over her. She’s got the most beautiful face, and a rocking body; but her hair is something else. Vibrant red, long and thick; instantly I visualize wrapping it around my hand and pulling her head back as I fuck her from behind. STOP IT! If I wasn’t so used to maintaining a bored, expressionless face; I’d give away right now just how much the banjo just affected me, and that’s dangerous. I pull my gaze away and continue speaking.

“Someone’s gotta go first. Who’s it gonna be?”

The stiff and banjo trade glances and the stiff surprises the fuck outta me by calling out. ‘Me.’ Seriously? Her and the banjo step towards me. I can’t stop myself from studying the redhead, the fox, as the stiff climbs up onto the ledge. She’s even hotter close up, but, again, there’s something more; some glint in her mysterious eyes, the set of her pouty lips, I don’t know; but I’ve never felt this way around a girl before. I don’t know if I should kill her or fuck her. She looks my way and I hurriedly look away. The stiff is still standing there.

“Today, initiate.” I sound bored, good.

The stiff jumps, and without looking back at me, the fox steps up and jumps too. Good, I can breathe again. I turn to the rest of the initiates with my brow raised.

“Really? You let a fucking stiff and banjo go first?”
______________________________________________________________________________________________________

I leave as soon as I hit the net after the last jumper. Four and Lauren are already talking to them, splitting them up into transfers and Dauntless born, and I’m done for the day. Good. I need to get away from that girl. I can’t explain the effect she’s having on me and it’s making me crazy. There’s something about her. As I walk down the corridor to the mess hall for supper, my inner self calms down enough for one word to rise to the surface. Mine. She will be mine.

I stay mostly out of sight on the balcony as Max speaks to the new initiates at supper, I can see the stiff, sitting by Four with that mouthy Candor, and the fox. Fuck, she looks even better in Dauntless black, that sweet ass straining tight training pants, that fucking mane of hers thick down her back. She watches the proceedings carefully, not missing anything. My cock gets hard just watching her.
She fills my dreams that night, writhing beneath me, on top of me; sucking my cock and spreading her legs wide for my mouth and tongue. I spill in my sleep like a teenager and love it.

She’s there the next morning, looking surprisingly alert compared to the other initiates. Four starts explaining the basics of initiate training and I work hard to keep from staring at her. As usual, Four gets half the shit wrong and I have to correct him, smirking at the thin line his lips make; I piss him off to no end. Good. I’m the leader here, not you.

It becomes apparent early on that the fox, who I’ve learned to my amusement is actually named Fox, is easily one of the most promising initiates, shocking for an Amity. There’s a toughness to her, a take-no-shit attitude and standoffishness that sets her apart. It doesn’t diminish my lust for her, it fans it; but something happens as I watch the training continue, day in and day out.

My feelings towards Fox morph. Change from simply wanting to fuck her to wanting to get to know her. She draws me like a moth to a flame, and I’m helpless to resist the pull. It scares me and pisses me off at the same time. Getting attached to a chick is just asking for trouble. I want to be attached to this one. I want to be the one to hold her, kiss her, fuck her. I want her to be mine. I’ve never felt this way before and I don’t know what to do. Just watching her in training isn’t going to be enough soon.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I wander the corridors at night. Sleep has never been easy for me, but it’s even worse now that Fox haunts my dreams, taunting me with that body, teasing me with her fuck, her everything.

Then, there she is, sitting at the Chasm. I freeze, then creep closer to her. I can’t stop looking at her. I’m within a dozen paces of her before she stands and notices me, rips a fucking dagger out and points it at me. My cock gets hard even as my eyes narrow and I say.

“Initiates aren’t allowed weapons outside of training.”

She sizes me up. “Good thing you didn’t see anything then.” She replaces the blade in her belt and starts walking towards me. I step aside but I can’t let her leave. I grab her and slam her back against the rock wall.

“What the hell is your deal, Banjo?” What I really mean is ‘why do you affect me this way?’

She says nothing, just tips her chin up at me. My cock twitches.

“Well?” Frustrated at her, at myself, I slam her back against the wall again.

She waits, and I drop my arms. Finally, she speaks.

“You have access to other faction’s files?” She asks bluntly.

“Maybe.”

“If you really want to know why I carry a knife everywhere, go look up Amity’s files from seven years ago.”

What the hell does that mean? Did someone hurt her? I’ll kill them! She huffs and moves to leave. I don’t want her to, not yet, so I shoot my arms back up and pin her back to the wall. She struggles briefly, then relaxes when she realizes I’m stronger. She looks at me, the ice in her eyes chilling.

“Why don’t you just tell me?” My voice is soft, I don’t recognize it as mine. I move my hands to the rock wall. A thousand thoughts flash through her eyes. She licks her lips and I’m gone. I can’t stop from dropping my eyes, my heart races and my breathing gets heavy as I think about kissing those lips. Fuck, I want to so bad. I drag my eyes back up to hers and see that she wants to kiss me too. My lucky day. I lean towards her, fighting to keep from throwing her to the ground and taking her right there. She closes her eyes just as our lips touch and a fucking jolt goes right through me. I close my eyes, let her pull my head closer, slick my tongue across her lips and groan deep in my chest when she opens her mouth. I touch her face, tighten my arms around her. It’s too much, I’ve never felt this way before. A kiss has never stolen my heart like this before. I pull away, panting, rest my forehead against hers, just breathe the same air for a minute, trying to calm my racing heart. I’m rock hard in my pants, straining for her. I open my eyes, she’s looking at me. I brush my lips against hers again, but she pulls away.

“I can’t.” She whispers, then runs away; leaving me standing there, my chest heaving. After she disappears, I collapse against the wall, my legs give out and I slide down to the ground. My heart is pounding, I’m panting; I’m so fucking stiff it hurts. I’m in deep fucking shit. I’m in love.
6

Update!!! Converting the Bus
Day 2

Guess what? I had my first interview to be an operations manager for a dispensary in California!!!! It went well, I think. I have the lowest self-esteem so I have no idea.

BUT LOOK WHAT WE GOT DONE TODAY!!!!

Ripped out some of the floor and a metric-fuck-ton of bolts and random metal, moved the heaters, which we still have to drain the coolant out of. And we still can’t get the bolts in done on that seat. Big pain in the ass I tell ya. And to finish the heaters for construction, I have to join the intake and outtake hoses so that I can build my goddamn bathroom. Because fuck walking to McDonald’s to shit. And I have to do so with out spraying coolant all over the inside of my almost clean gutted home.

As you can tell I’m negatively passionate about the system.

We are now getting close to construction. Since, we are living in it as we are converting it, we are going to do it a room at a time.

When we have big things like paining rustolium on the fully cleared metal floor or getting the windows removed and paneled, we will stay in a hotel.

Today, we are going to get some basics to aid in destruction, such as: a drill, a crowbar or two, rust treatment, a chisel, and a pizza because hungry.

We also need to get a circular saw, (we plan to rent a table saw) two more drills, a metric ratchet set (because I sadly have the other kind), nail gun (might rent), and then any help we can get.

And of course there are the building materials for each step. Which trust me, can range from $500 to $10,000. For what we are doing now, we only need about $500 and that will last us till we are actually building studs for our walls.

Tomorrow, We are paying the other half of our bus payment and we will then have the title in hand. It’s $1500 and we believe it we have it covered, I just hope we get what we were quoted for scrapping the van and all metal we have ripped out.

So there is that, and on a different note, we have news. Gwen was arrested yesterday morning for missing a court date. We thought she had it taken care of, but I guess when one of the neighbors called the police on us “dispatch advised of an arrest”. Take from that what you will. She is getting out asap. It’s just a shit-wait, I mean paper work process till she is out. We are expecting her to get out at any time. Really dumb, but we are rolling with the punches.

Thank you all so much for your support, other wise we wouldn’t still be in the ring with life. We thought we hear the bell a while ago and since we have grown stronger than ever because of your support. I can’t stop tearing up because of how much you have impacted and changed our lives. I feel way too many emotions to put it on paper right now.

Thank you. If you want to help us in our fight against homelessness and life our PayPal is littletransgirl18@gmail.com

Sincerely with biggest hugs

GEK
Gwen, Ember, Kimmy
@gwennspacey @emberbrekker @spideygirl

Me when seeing Lys’ outfit in the episode preview

Originally posted by smalltowndemocrat

I mean Imma ride or die loyal for Nathaniel BUT DAMN SON my eyes appreciate the view.

hmhm hm

@dogs-on-logs in case Thistle has had this issue

maybe @emiliotheexplorer?

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Super Mom

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Epilogue

A/N: I have some important questions for you after this imagine so make sure to check those out as well. Hopefully you’ll enjoy this part!

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Words: 4,019

Warning(s): Stress, reader freaks out a little bit, i guess that’s all I can say


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2

“ANAKIN SKYWALKER WHERE IS MY GODDAMN TOWEL!” You screamed from the bathroom. You knew he had taken it, he always does. You could hear him laugh from outside. “You mean this towel?” He steps in with a huge smirk across his face eying your body up and down. “Yes” you snatch the towel from his hands and cover yourself. “Oooo, you’re so sexy when you’re angry” he winked and left.