in memory of the redeemers

Lucretia.........

I relistened to everything while getting hyped for the finale and I have a lot of things to say about Lucretia. Lucretia’s character arc is my absolute favorite on this show because she winds up so far from how she started, but everything fits perfectly with the person she already was. I took note of some of my favorite parts of her development, mainly her parallels to Magnus and the way her experiences shape her decisions. Most of all I’m just so fascinated with how she began as a character who simply chronicled events without any agency in them, but her choices wind up becoming the driving force of the entire plot.

Like, at the press conference that the Stolen Century starts with, the chronological beginning of everyone’s story, the moment she introduces herself made me laugh.

I fucking LAUGHED. I realized the reason why I found it strangely funny is because Lucretia has more influence on the plot than any other character. The story is almost entirely driven by her. Lucretia’s decisions are why The Adventure Zone happens and she has her hand on every single plot point in the show. TAZ, from beginning to end, is the story of her failing redemption arc. Her character development as a friend and an antagonist is so complex and slow-burning and so deeply satisfying.

I love Lucretia more than my own life and I would have died if she didn’t get a happy ending with her family. But still, I don’t overlook the wrongs she has done. She didn’t begin as a bad person nor did she end as one, but she has been an antihero in the story. I actually think her character arc is written to directly parallel Magnus as a hero. Their actions mirror each other’s almost constantly. They both gained the voidfish’s trust; Lucretia used it to take away knowledge and Magnus used it to give it back to everyone in Story and Song. Even Magnus’ lessons in strength that Griffin kept flashing back to at the climax directly apply to Lucretia (more on that in a bit). They both want to be protectors and they want to shoulder pain so that their friends don’t have to.

Another thing from Lucretia’s first appearance in the Stolen Century that I like is when she introduces herself as a ghostwriter for other people’s biographies.

It’s a brilliant backstory for Griffin to give her, because it explains perfectly how easily she could erase everyone’s life and write a new story for them. She had been rewriting and editing people’s lives for a living once, without anyone knowing it was her. It’s interesting the way Griffin describes her plan to void their memories exactly like what her previous life’s work had been.

It’s just a wildly good twist on the aspect of her character that kept Lucretia as a passive observer at the beginning of the story! In the Stolen Century, Merle suggested to her that she had leadership qualities and Lucretia laughed it off; she told merle she was happy to sit and watch. This gets turned on its head and she uses that skill against her loved ones and the entire world, now she is making them passive characters in the narrative she is driving.

Lucretia used to rely entirely on others to the point where she didn’t want to take action, or didn’t think she needed to. The turning point for this, obviously, is the year she faced alone. She stopped observing her friends save the world and started participating in it with them.

The motive for her character’s turning point in the Stolen Century mirrors Magnus’ motives. She wants to be a protector, but she doesn’t know how. Like Magnus, she needed to learn to ask for help. But she learned the wrong lesson.

The year when the judges and their officers pursued her, the one that carved her into the person she is now—It taught her that she didn’t need help to protect her friends. She could struggle through it alone, without anyone’s support, and come out of it stronger. Lucretia fixed everyone’s mistake and none of them suffered for it.

And this year explains why she thought erasing her friends’ memories could be redeemable. She carries with her a trauma and a complex that shaped her into believing she has to suffer alone for the good of her friends to save them—She did it once, she could do it again. Lucretia learning to be a protector was a case where no one was there to help her and she had to take on everything by herself, so she thinks she can keep her friends safe by cutting them off. From her, from each other, from their past. She wanted everyone to just wake up and find that everything was okay now because of Lucretia, again.

Contrast it with Magnus, whose only flaw is that he’s totally willing to sacrifice his life for his friends. He doesn’t think his friends are strong enough, so he must be the one to “take the big hit” for them.

I’m pretty sure Lucretia shadows this. Her first priority is preservation, whereas Magnus’ is sacrifice, but they’re both too ambitious and think they can take on more than they should. In her mind taking the big hit = shouldering the knowledge of what they’d done to this word and responsibility of repairing their mistakes on her own. She thought it was allowing everyone to live safely and free of guilt while she went through the hardship of absolving them. I think maybe it’s why Magnus forgives her without thinking. He understands this.

That’s why I referred to TAZ earlier as secretly being the story of her failing redemption arc. She betrayed everyone she loved with certainty that recovering the relics and locking out the hunger would vindicate her in their eyes. And it didn’t work. She didn’t mean to draw her plan out as long as she did, but she was afraid to back out or else she’s just left with the consequences of a horrible thing she did and no end to justify the means.

But she didn’t need to. Like Magnus didn’t think to ask for help because it was just too simple, Lucretia didn’t think she could just ask for forgiveness and it would come.

Burn

I saved every transmission you sent us
From the moment I heard them
I knew you weren’t mine
You said you were mine
I thought you were mine

Do you know what Allura said
When we saw your first transmission arrive?
She said

“Be careful with that one, Lance
He will do what it takes to survive.”

You and your plans flooded their senses
Your bluntness has left me defenseless
You built them voltron out of Paladins
You built an army
I’m re-playing the transmissions you sent us
I’m searching and scanning for answers
In every line
For some kind of sign
And when you were mine
The earth seemed so

Close 
Close


You shared the transmissions he sent you
You told the whole team how you brought
This prince into our bed
In clearing your name, you have ruined our bond
Do you know what Allura said
When she heard how you played your part
She said
“You have loved an Paladin
But You kept him too close to your heart.”

You and your plans, obsessed with your victory…
Your sentences border on senseless
And you are paranoid in every battle plan
How Shiro precedes you

You, you, you…

I’m removing myself from the Paladins
Let future alliances wonder why The blue paladin
Left when you broke his heart
You have torn it all apart
And earth seemed so
Close
Just watch me go
You have no right to my heart
You have no place in my bed
You don’t get to know why I left
I’m erasing the memories
Erasing the transmissions that might have redeemed you
You forfeit all rights to my heart
You forfeit the place in our bed
Im leaving with blue instead
With only the memories
Of when you were mine
I hope that you learn

Helpless (Reprise)

[Burr:]
How does a bastard, orphan, immigrant,
Would-be man of honor,
Ruin four lives to keep a legacy in its collar?
He lies about the story
So that he can die in glory
He paints himself as innocent
‘Cuz if people knew the truth,
How would his grievance seem legitimate?
Alexander left out details,
He basically impaled
Maria’s legacy in the chest,
When he thought it imperative
To blot out her narrative
But this isn’t my story to tell
You should hear it from the woman that went through hell

[All women except Maria:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
I was crying, I was shaking
I was weak and close to breaking,

[Maria and women:]
I was helpless

[Maria:]
I was dying inside while you wined and dined,
I was trying not to cry ‘cuz of the hell that I was going through
I can’t depend on you
‘Cuz my situation’s helpless

[Women::]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
And I stand here defenseless
You left me with him

[All women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
And you knew I was

[Women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
Yet somehow I’m selfish
For wanting to get away
Susan would be safe,
I’ll change her last name
she won’t have to face all this hate
I won’t let her be helpless

[Women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
For her, I’d suffer for the rest of my life
I’d suffer through this to make sure she’s happy to be alive
So I’ll always be


[Maria and Women:]
Helpless

[Maria:]
Am I doomed to an untold story?
Will they think I’m the villain in our history?
Or will fate be kind,
Will someone realize
That Alexander pushed the truth aside?

[Company except Maria:]
When you’re living on your knees you rise up

[Maria:]
Am I helpless?

[Company:]
Rise up

[Maria:]
Or can I rise above my situation?
Can I rise to the occasion,
Forget about the hate I’m facing,
The sky’s the limit,
Why should I care about his false declarations?
I don’t have to be

[Company:]
Helpless

[Maria:]
I broke my chains and took flight from hell
I don’t need anyone to tell my story,
‘Cuz unlike Alexander dying in glory
Is not my priority
Call me slut, call me whore,
But remember that I

[Company:]
Rise up
Rise up

[Maria:]
I rise like the dust
If my legacy is metal,
Then most would let it rust
I rise like air
So let them stare because

[Maria and Company:]
I rise

[Maria:]
From my pain
I am the storm, I am the rain
I’ve almost lost it all
So I’ll take what I have and keep it close
The ghosts of my past can’t get me
I’m standing up
I’m letting go
I won’t suffer in silence anymore
I don’t belong to anyone
I’m no one’s whore
I won’t be helpless

[Company:]
So I will rise

[Maria:]
Rise

[Maria:]
So Alexander,
You can write these lies

[Maria and Company:]
But still, like air, I’ll rise
Alexander

[Company:]
I will rise

[Maria:] [Eliza (to Alexander):]
I’m erasing myself from this narrative. (I’m erasing myself from the narrative)
My apologies Eliza (Let future historians wonder) 
I helped break your heart. (How Eliza reacted)

[Maria and Eliza (to Alexander):]
You think you’re so smart,


[Maria and Eliza:]
I hope that you burn
I hope the tide turns against you
I hope you realize it too late
You’ve changed the world, Alexander,
But there’s a million things I haven’t done,
But just you wait, just you wait
The world has no right to my heart
The world has no place in our beds
They don’t get to know what I said

[Maria:] [Eliza:]
I’m burning the memories. (I’m burning the letters)
That would have condemned you (That might have redeemed you)

[Maria and Eliza:]
You forfeit all rights to my heart

[All Men:]                      [All Women:]
I hope that you burn (There’s a million things I haven’t done)

[Full Company:]
Just you wait

(Well, that’s my song, I hope you like it!)

Burn-Fake Laf au parody (aka: FUCK YOU TIMES 2 JEFFERSON.))

You saved every letter I wrote you
From the moment you read them
You knew i was yours
You said i was yours
You thought i was
Yours.
Do you know what Lafayette said?
When he left for France that night? He said:
“Be careful,Mon amour,people do what it takes to survive"
You and your words flooded my senses
Your sentences left me defenseless
You joked with my heart like a puppeteer.
Like i was a puppet!
I’m rereading the letter you wrote him
I’m searching and scanning for answers
On every line
For some kind of sign
Of when I thought you were mine.
The world seemed to burn.
Burn….Burn…
You wrote about me like i was nothing
You thought i was just a thing you could use
to fill your lust
You’ve ruined my life.
Do you know what Lafayette said!?
When he told me what you’d done?
He said:
“I’m sorry Mon amour,but this can’t be undone.”
You and your brain
Obsessed with this crazy lust
Your words border on senseless
And you are worse in every paragraph
How you wanted my body!
God why,why,why…
I’m erasing myself from this narrative.
Let feature historians wonder
How Alex reacted
When you used his heart.
You’ve torn it all apart
I am watching it,
Burn…
The world has no right to my heart
The world has no place to my head
They don’t get to know what Laf said
I am burning the memories
Burning this crazyness.
That might have redeemed you!
You forfeit all rights to my heart!
You forfeit the place in my bed
Never come to my house again!
You can stay with the memory of
When i was yours!
……
I hope that you….
Burn…….

((Ill gladly do more of these!!))  ~Mal


____________________

Happy you’ve done it! Changed just some lines,so it would be correct in the AU☆
Burn

(But sung with Maria, Angelica, and Eliza)

Note: I don’t own any part of this song. All of I belong to Lin Manuel Miranda.

[Maria/Angelica/Eliza]
I saved every letter you wrote me
From the moment I read them

[Eliza]
I knew you were mine

[Maria]
You said you were mine

[Angelica]
I thought you were mine

[Eliza]
Do you know what Angelica said
When we saw your first letter arrive?
She said,

[Angelica]
Be careful with that one, love
He will do what it takes to survive.

[All]
You and your words flooded my senses
Your sentences left me defenseless
You built me palaces out of paragraphs
You built cathedrals

[Maria]
I’m re-reading the letters you wrote me

[Eliza]
I’m searching and scanning for answers
In every line
For some kind of sign
And when you were mine
The world seemed to

[All]
Burn
Burn

[Eliza, looking at Maria angrily]
You published the letters she wrote you
You told the whole world how you brought
This girl into our bed

[Maria takes a step back from Eliza, and Angelica takes Eliza’s hand. Eliza softens.]

[All]
In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives

[Eliza]
Do you know what Angelica said
When she read what you’d done?
She said,

[Angelica]
You have married an Icarus
He has flown too close to the sun.

[All]
You and your words, obsessed with your legacy…
Your sentences border on senseless
And you are paranoid in every paragraph
How they perceive you

[Maria]
You, you, you…

[Maria]
I’m erasing myself from the narrative

[Eliza]
Let future historians wonder how Eliza
Reacted when you broke her heart

[Angelica]
You have torn it all apart
I am watching it
Burn

[Eliza]
Watching it burn

[Maria]
The world has no right to my heart

[Eliza]
The world has no place in our bed

[All]
They don’t get to know what I said
I’m burning the memories
Burning the letters that might have redeemed you
You forfeit all rights to my heart

[Eliza]
You forfeit the place in our bed
You sleep in your office instead

[All]
With only the memories
Of when you were mine

[All sing while Eliza drops her wedding ring into the fire]
I hope that you burn

[They all join hands, watching the fire]

You and Your Words [V x MC]

Here’s a V angst no one asked for and when I told people about it, I got yelled at with “AMS O U C H” :))) 💛 

inspired by Burn from Hamilton ヽ(ヅ)ノ and a thanks to the dialogue in Secret Ending 1

[ Word Count: 1962 ]


Jihyun believed in souls. He also believed in soulmates. Thinking back, he talked about it so much that MC was really convinced they were his soulmate. They were going to be together for the rest of their lives, knowing their souls belonged to each other. MC was confident in that future and they were sure Jihyun was too. The two of them had talks about it almost nightly, generating a fantasy of the future - complete with kids, a dream house, and talk of growing old together. They really did feel like soulmates.

Apparently, they were wrong.

It was during his newest exhibition where Jihyun would experience a beginning and an ending. He was there walking around and chatting with visitors, but someone caught his eye. She had been standing by this one photograph of a pink flower he took in the mountains for almost an hour today alone, and she stopped by yesterday as well - the least he could do was stop by and say hello.

Or, that was the plan, but he caught her just when she was speaking. “..Beautiful.” She whispered. “Do you like it?” He asked, stopping a few feet from her. “Yes, I love it.” The girl looked away from the photo to Jihyun, a polite but obviously confused look on her face. She was beautiful - long, blonde hair, green eyes, a pretty face - but that didn’t matter to Jihyun. He had MC, and besides, this woman was not the first beautiful lady he encountered. Nevertheless, something about her still made him curious. “Excuse me, but who are you?” She asked, bringing his attention back to her. “The one who took this photo.” He answered, a hint of a smile on his face. What? He could afford to be a little smug. Her face lit up a little bit, “You must be V, the photographer!” Jihyun nodded with a small chuckle, “You’ve been standing here for almost an hour, so I came to say hello. And didn’t you come yesterday too?” “Yes…the photo was so beautiful I just had to come for another look.” “I’m glad you like it, please enjoy it.” He smiled and was about to walk away. “Wait! I had something to ask you.” “What is it?” 

“The sun is the mother of all things. This flower wouldn’t have come to life if the sun hadn’t exuded energy. This consistent love and warmth, I feel it from all your pieces! Do you think a world…where our fears are gone and filled with love and warmth, like when I see your photographs, will ever come? Do you believe we all can become the sun one day?” Her words shocked him. He had never thought about that, never thought he could make someone feel that way. Maybe that’s what caught his attention. “No,” He said, “I don’t have such profound thoughts when I take photos. I’m not that great.” “You are great, V. Just by taking photos like this.”

Now, V felt like doing something crazy. Well, not that crazy since he had done it before. In fact, he did this when he met MC too. “Thank you…do you want this photograph?” He could see her eyes light up a little bit, but it faded quickly. “I love it, but I don’t have enough money to purchase it.” Jihyun smiled brightly, sure he was totally going to make her day. “I’ll give it to you as a gift. Please let the receptionist know your name, address, and phone number.” The lady blinked, “What? Oh, I can’t accept such an expensive piece!” They went back and forth for a little bit until Jihyun settled it. “How about this? I’ll give you this photograph, and you can buy me coffee after this exhibition. Your thoughts made a big impression on me and I’d like to hear more of how you see life. Oh, can I ask your name?” She paused for a moment, thinking it over. Which gave Jihyun time to do the same. It wasn’t a bad idea, her thoughts really did intrigue him…and that was it anyways. He wanted to hear her thoughts on the world, it might give him a new outlook on how to take his photographs. And he could really use a coffee. MC was working late and they trusted each other. He’ll just send her a text.

“It’s…Rika.” The lady - Rika - answered him. “My name is Rika.” He smiled, “Is that your real name?” She shook her head, “Well, let me tell you mine. People call me V, but my name is Jihyun Kim.”


How coffee turned into this, Jihyun had no idea. It was about 10:30pm and Jihyun was stumbling into he and MC’s house, but with Rika chasing after him, their lips clashing as he pushed her inside. Jihyun had never been this frantic before. Not even because he was worried about MC coming home, but because he was desperate. Desperate for this feeling, for this person who he was leading to his bedroom. The person not being MC. MC being the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. 

MC, his soulmate. Right? Or… “V…” Rika’s voice brought him out of his thoughts and MC was out of his mind again. It was just Rika. Rika. Rika. “Rika.” Jihyun breathed out.

Maybe MC wasn’t his soulmate.


That was a mistake. That whole night was a mistake. But…Jihyun kept going back to Rika. MC had no idea about what had happened, nonetheless that it was still happening. And it wasn’t even just sex, it was practically a full on relationship full of dates, small kisses, cuddling after sex. But Jihyun was hiding it from MC. Hiding this…relationship? From the person he called his soulmate.

He had a system. Two phones - one for MC, one for Rika. He wrote letters to both of them, showed them both the photographs he took, talked to both of them daily. It was eating away at him, but the more he did this, the more disappointed he felt himself becoming when it was MC instead. He wanted more of Rika, felt more of a connection with Rika. MC was losing their grip on his soul.

MC noticed something was wrong when their nightly talks got more and more infrequent. Nightly turned into every other night. Every other night turned into once a week. And now…nothing. Was something wrong with Jihyun? He did seem a bit more depressed lately. And he took a lot more trips than before. Well, he was getting more and more attention, it was probably just to get the perfect shot.

They thought nothing of it. Until the scandal broke out.

‘Famous Photographer V Engaged?! Who Is This Mystery Girl?’ Mystery Girl? MC asked themselves when they first saw it. People knew they were dating - though the gender situation was still unclear to them, but that wasn’t the point - but why did they assume they were engaged? Wait. Who was that?

There was another woman in the photo, one that MC had never seen or heard of before. Her and Jihyun were holding hands, looking like they were running across the street. She was holding a hand up to try and cover her face, but there was…a ring on her finger?

No, it was just a friend of Jihyun’s. Someone he was helping, as always. There was no way- The phone rang and MC glanced at it. It was Yoosung, so she picked up. “Yoosung?” “MC, did you see the news?” Right away, then. “About Jihyun? Yeah, but I didn’t hear anything from him y-” “I know who that is.” MC blinked. But they didn’t say anything, so Yoosung continued. “ She’s my cousin. And she had been talking about a boyfriend for a while now. I never got to meet him, but she mentioned things that match V…I should have told you, but I didn’t think that-” “Yoosung?” MC cut him off. It took a second, but he answered. “Yeah, MC?” “What things matched V that she told you about?” “Uh…he had an unusual hair color, he was a photographer..” “Give me specifics, Yoosung.” “There was something about letters…” MC hung up.

And as soon as they did, V walked through the door. “MC-” “V. What is this all about?” “It was a mistake. I was only-” The TV in the background cut him off again. “This just in! Photographer V released a statement! There’s…letters? A bunch of letters, apparently back and forth between this new girl?! Should we read some of them? Oh, this one-” V turned off the TV. “MC…” “You should go, V.” “…MC…”

MC didn’t speak again, they just walked off into their room. They knew V was behind them, but they didn’t care. MC wouldn’t speak a word to him again, but this was going to show him. They went straight to their shared nightstand, opening a drawer and throwing out all the clothes. “MC-” V tried, but MC pulled out a box at the bottom of it. They opened it, taking out pieces of paper. No, letters. They stared at them for a second before taking a deep breath. “I saved every one of these you wrote me. From the moment I read them, I knew you were mine. You said you were mine….I thought you were mine.”

V looked at MC helplessly, looking like he was about to speak, but MC beat him to it. “You and your words flooded my senses, left me defenseless. You built me palaces out of paragraphs, built cathedrals.” They looked back down at the letters, smiling in fond remembrance, but could also feel the tears filling their eyes. “The world seemed to burn..” Their voice hiccuped at the last word, hands holding the papers tighter. “You published the letters she wrote you. Told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed.” The tears were spilling over now, and MC turned around, glaring at him. “You and your words, obsessed with your legacy. How they perceive you! You, you, you….!”

There was a pause after that, but MC held up their glare. V took a step back from them, tears building up for him as well. But that didn’t make MC back down. It only fueled them. “You have torn it all apart.” They stomped past him, pushing him out of the way to their built-in fireplace. Luckily, it was electronic, so MC turned it on and it started up quickly. “The world has no right to my heart! The world has no place in our bed. They don’t get to know what I said. I’m burning the memories, the letters that might have redeemed you.”

“MC!-” V ran over, trying to grab the letters, or at least one of them, from MC, but they were quicker. They pushed him away with both hands, pointing a finger at him and raising their voice. “Jihyun Kim, you forfeit all rights to my heart! You forfeit the place in our bed! You’ll sleep in her apartment instead! With only the memories of when you were mine…!” MC broke out into a full sob at their ‘mine’.

The next moment felt like forever, but MC was standing there, sobbing while V looked at them. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as well, but he knew it was over. There was no way he could fix this.

MC opened their eyes, glaring at V one more time. “I hope that you burn.” They said before turning around and throwing the letters into the fireplace. “MC!” V yelled, watching the letters he wrote them turning into ashes.

“So much for soulmates.” And MC walked past him, towards the door.

Snape is the worst Harry Potter character there is. He is ugly and the only good thing he ever did was giving Harry some memories and he nearly failed to do even this. And some people think those memories somehow redeemed him, but all they did was confirming how gross he was. He stalked his mother since he was 9 years old and was mean to Harry, just because she rejected him. How can anyone even remotely like him? I wish he died sooner.

anonymous asked:

Hi! Ive been really confused about the whole Dean Cas relationship. Like I know Dean cares for Cas deeply but it's no where near what Cas has done for Dean(giving up everything he has) So like am I not noticing something here or like is their dynamic like that?

I don’t think relationships should be measured by what one gives up for the other. I think it’s something the show accidentally imparts with all the dramatic self-sacrifice but it’s something the show has also been trying to dismantle since season 8, with the plot thread of showing the codependency between Sam and Dean as unhealthy instead of something to glorify, and attempting to move them to a healthier place with more people to rely on and less dependence on each other to the point of ceasing to function when the other is dead.

I’m sorry to keep going back to @superspecpod but maybe it’s just because it’s out loud meta so the words stick in my head differently, but I’m remembering them talking in the most recent (”super lost plotlines” or something) about how Cas would want to see Dean sacrifice for him in a way for the narrative to show us Dean cares as much for Cas as he does for Sam, and as Cas does for him. But at the same time really really don’t want it for Dean’s sake because it will be putting him in a really bad place, regressing his dependent tendencies back again but putting them on Cas instead of Sam, and just be another character development mountain to climb.

I think it’s also weird that the way the show has been telling it, things swing around about how much we think one or the other loves more desperately than the other - I remember reading season 8 meta that was deeply upset or addressing deep upset that Dean seemed to love Cas enormously but Cas wouldn’t reciprocate and was there a chance Cas would EVER seem to love Dean as much as Dean loves him? 

I also think that as of 12x19 the show is officially starting to convey that Cas’s give it all up for Dean over and over pattern is just as bad for him as Dean’s similar problem with sacrificing for Sam, so the fact Cas keeps on doing it is a problem he needs help with not a way that he gestures he loves Dean so much more.

Keep reading

Breaking... Ch.8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

A/N: This chapter ended up being super heavy so I’m sorry if it ends on a weird note ;-; I’m hitting the stage in the story were side characters become more important and that’s going to take some adjustment so I’m sorry about that in advance. Still, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Wordcount: 3382

Warnings: Blood, guns, cursing, anger, feelings in general, pyromania

Tags!!: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @literally-melonkitty @deltablue202 @meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips If anyone else would like to be tagged please feel free to send me an ask! :3

Breaking Hearts

The charge against me is a connection with one James Reynolds, for purposes of improper speculation. My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife, for a considerable time with his knowing consent. All my crimes are with her, yet some have looked into my own house. Titania had no part in this, in fact I’ve considered myself as her father. The baseless accusations are nothing more than that, baseless accusations. Reynold’s however cornered me and so he extorted me for a sorted fee. I paid him quarterly, I may have ruined my prospects but as shown in Mr. Callander’s article my papers are orderly. Yes, I have reason for shame but I have not committed treason and sullied my good name. The shame I experience is great and I have no one to blame but myself. My sins are not gone without punishment; I do not believe that punishment is undeserved…

Alex, what have you done?! You were supposed to write the Reynold’s Pamphlet not this! The more you read the more terrified you became. You tried to check off everything that was different between this pamphlet and the old one from memory, this proved to be rather difficult. The letters are mentioned but they weren’t published, Eliza is mentioned very few times, the whole thing is just vaguer than it should be! You suddenly remember the words you said to Alex.

“Do not, under any circumstances, give them anymore access to those letters, it will not end well.”

“What?” Angie questioned but you didn’t listen. Eliza…Eliza!

“Has your mother seen this yet?” You asked frantically, Angie’s eyes grew and before you could react the papers were pulled out of your hands and Angie was running out of the room. God damn it Angelica! You got up and tried to chase after her but you felt heavy, your head shooting with pain. You stumbled through the halls, unable to catch up. Fuck! Your shoulder hit the wall, the hallways were twisting, you tried to blink the illusion away but to no avail. You ran into something or more accurately someone. You looked up to see Philip, his eyes filled with worry.

“Star? Y/N! Are you alright?”

“I need to-“ His appearance changed, his beautiful eyes blinked away to fear-filled ones. Tears running down his face, there was small droplets of blood trying to blend in with his freckles. You looked down and saw blood all over his shirt, all over his arms, his hand holding a pistol. A scream escaped your lips, you couldn’t even try to hold it in. You turned, not wanting to see what was in front of you, you looked back at the study, planning to run back to it. The door was closed but blood and smoke were rolling out from under it. Looking back at Philip you saw ashes flying past him, they were coming from Eliza’s room.

“I held my head up high…” Philip said through stiff lips. You heard Alex’s voice behind you but he was nowhere to be found.

“I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.” Then it was Eliza’s voice.

“I hope that you burn!” You couldn’t tell where it was coming from but you heard Angie scream.

“Let go of me! I’m Angelica Hamilton, you can’t so this! Where’s my brother? Philip! Philly, come back! Please!” Their voices stared to mix together.

“I’m sorry for forgetting what you taught me…”

“Is this where it gets me?”  

“I’m watching it burn!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!”

“Shut up! Shut up damn it! Get out of my head! I did this! Please stop!” You screamed at the voices, you felt something wet on the side your face. You were frantic, your mind running a mile a minute. What do I do?! Make it stop! You clutched your head, the pain unbelievable. You shut your eyes as tight as possible, you were too worked up to notice the sound fading away. You felt something shaking your shoulders, you opened your eyes, everything was fuzzy. Looking up, your eyes adjusting, you saw Philip in front of you. You could see his mouth moving but couldn’t hear him. It took a moment for his voice to wash over you.

“-ar! My star! Wake up! Please! Are you hurt? What’s wrong?” You were hyperventilating and shaking like it was the end of the world.

“I…Phil…ip… S-sorry…” You tried to pull yourself together but your body was shaking uncontrollably. Philip wrapped his arms around you his grip around you gave you the impression that he was scared.

“Thank the Heavens! You’re back! Please don’t do that again! Or at least tell me what to do in case it happens again, ok? You didn’t look like you were here for a second, you just started screaming and crying and I wanted to help but I didn’t know what to do! I’m so sorry!” He rambled. You shook your head into his chest.

“N-no, d-don’t be sorry… Just let me stay like this for a moment…” You focused on Philip’s heartbeat, you already felt more relaxed.

“Of course, whatever you need…” He rested one hand on the back of your head and smoothed down your hair, you wanted to cry. You wanted to tell him what you saw, what you were scared of, why you felt so weak. I’m not weak… I can handle this. I can handle whatever THAT was. I can handle it… You took a deep breath and pulled away slightly, you looked up at Philip brought both of his hands your face. His palms felt warm against your cheeks, his thumbs rubbed the tears off your skin. Was I crying?

“What happened?” He asked simply. What do I say? Think Y/N think!

“The pamphlet…have you seen it?” You questioned, Philip nodded.

“I was the one who brought it in. I was in town and came back as soon as I read it. Angie took it from me and ran away.” She’s got a habit of doing that doesn’t she?

“Alexander!” You heard a voice yell, both you and Philip turned to where the sound came from. You saw Eliza, still in her nightgown and robe, stomping out of her room with Angie trailing close behind. She’s fuming! Eliza pushed past the both of you and busted into the study, you ran in behind her. She was already at Alexander’s desk, rifling through the drawers and grabbing stacks of paper. What is she doing? She looked up to see you and Philip staring at her confused expressions.

“Angelica, Philip, go get Rachel this instant!” I’ve never heard her yell at her kids before… They looked at each other and left the room hurriedly.

“Eliza, what’s going on?” You heard Alexander stir in his sleep.

“Grab a stack and pull that chair!” You had no time to think, you did what she said, picking up one stack and using your free hand to pull the chair by the door behind you. Eliza came rushing out of the room, her arms filled with paper. She shoved the stacks into your arms, took the chair from you, slammed the door shut and propped the chair under the doorknob.

“Eliza! What are you doing?” You asked frantically. Did she just lock Alex inside his study?! Rachel came running toward the both of you, completely out of breath. I’ve never someone run so fast in my entire life…

“Lady Eliza! What’s wrong! Has something happened?”

“Yes, something awful has happened. Gather as much firewood as you can carry and bring it to the front yard.” Firewood?! Rachel looked puzzled but she nodded and left nonetheless. “Follow me Y/N.” Eliza grabbed her stacks from you and walked away. Sorry Alex… You followed Eliza into the main room and out the front door. Rachel appeared from the side of the house as you both descended the stairs. Rachel dropped her armful of logs onto the dirt path. “Rachel, please use the wood to start a fire. Where you have them right now is alright.” Rachel ran back into the house.

“Eliza, what are we doing?” You asked once more.

“The world has no right to my heart and certainly not a place in my bed. They do not deserve to know what I said! I’ll burn it all! I’ll burn what pulled him away from me! These pages, these writings, if I do not deserve his time then he does not deserve what he worked for!” Eliza was in tears but they were filled with anger instead of sadness. Rachel ran out of the house and swiftly began to prepare the fire, it wasn’t long before flames began to rise. Eliza quickly started throwing papers into the fire, making it grow as it ate the fuel. “The memories, the letters, anything that might redeem you! I’m burning it all!” You set your stacks on the ground and backed away. It had to be done…

“Mama! What are you doing? Are you crazy?” Philip was rushing down the stairs but Rachel stepped in front of him before he could get to Eliza.

“Please Philip, I must ask you to not try and prevent your mother from doing this.” Philip looked over at you, his eyes felt heavy.

“Star, please, you can’t let her do this!” Alex worked his whole life into these pages but it has to happen. I wish I could tell him that I know it will help and give some reassurance. You looked away.

“Philly… I can’t do that…”

“Why not?” He made turned and walked towards you.

“Look, I know this seems bad bu-“

“Looks bad? It is bad!” He stood in front of you.

“I know, I know. Just trust me on this ok? I think this will go along a lot better than you think.”

“What makes you so sure?” He asked.

“Call it… intuition. I have a pretty good sense for these things.” I mean, I’m not really lying when I say that! He sighed, shaking his head. A look of realization swept over him.

“Where’s father?” Shit.

“Um, uh, in the study?” This isn’t going to be good… Philip turned on his heel and ran back inside, Eliza picked up the pace with throwing the writings into the growing pyre. It wasn’t long before you saw Alex running out the door towards the fire and Philip trailing close behind. When Alex saw what Eliza was holding in her hands he became stiff. A mixture of perplexity and shock in his eyes.

“Betsy…what are you doing?” His voice was soft. Eliza threw the last stack into fire and stomped toward Alex.

“I’m watching it burn! The thing that you chose over my love and your family! That harlot’s letters? Gone! Your work? Gone! I am sick and tired of being your last concern! These ashes are your legacy now!” Alex looked like he was about to say something but Eliza cut him off before he could. “I hope that you burn!” She ran away into the house, Rachel following close behind her. Alex fell to his knees, his stare blank.

“Pops? Pops! Can you hear me?” Philip called out and dropped down at his side.

“Philip, go to your mother. She needs her son’s support right now. I can handle Alex.” I don’t like sounding this bossy but there isn’t really another option right now!

“But…”

“I’ve got this Philly, please just go and check on Eliza.” He heaved a frustrated sigh and darted back inside. You pulled Alex up and away from the fire and sat him down on the steps.

“First it was my mother…my cousin…then it was my best friend… now my life’s work and my one true love…gone.” He was practically speechless. He’s never lost for words…

“I know. I know Alex. But… I’m going to help you.” He looked at you, completely dumbfounded.

“No, I deserve this… Besides, there isn’t anything that you can do.” Bet! He does not know who he’s talking to!

“Watch me.” You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him inside, the fire beginning to die down. I’ll put it out once I deal with this. You led him down the hall to Eliza’s room, the door was wide open, Angie, Philip and Rachel were all crowded around her on the bed. “Alright everyone, get out. I have something to say to these two.” Everyone looked at each other in confusion. Rachel was the first one to speak up.

“Very well. Philip, Angelica, you will help me prepare the morning tea.” Angie and Philip didn’t say a word, they just followed her out of the room. The know better than to question Rachel I guess. You pushed Alex into the room and shut the door behind him, leaving you out in the hallway. Two can play this game Eliza! You grabbed the chair that sat across from the door. Why do we even have this here? You propped it under the doorknob so that the door could only be opened by yourself. The knob jiggled furiously and some loud knocks reverberated against the door.

“Y/N Taylor you open this door this instant young lady!” Alex called from inside.

“Not until you both sit down and speak to each other like adults! No more ignoring, no more drinking, no more arson! This is not healthy for you guys!” You shot back.

“And locking us in a room together is?” Eliza questioned.

“No! But I know it’s the only way you’ll be able to look at each other for more than ten seconds! The sooner you start talking, the sooner I open the door!”

“This is very improper for a lady Y/N!” exclaimed Eliza.

“Yeah well since when have I ever cared about that?” You sat down across from the door, on the floor where the chair used to be. Leaning your head against the wall you shut your eyes. Finally, a little bit of quiet time. This has been an oddly eventful morning… Not even bringing up this whole Eliza and Alex situation it was still pretty crazy. Did I really fuck with history so much that I changed the pamphlet that Alex is most known for? Titania’s Pamphlet, I mean shit, it’s about me of all people. The whole thing was centered around the rumor Magenta Fucker started. He talked about Maria yeah, but it was different. Honestly Eliza in my timeline was a lot more dangerous than this one’s. She was so pissed that she burnt them inside her house, she didn’t think about safety. This version changed course a bit, that’s why I’m hoping they can talk this out. It took them years to recover in the original timeline but maybe with a little shove it can happen a bit faster? And what was up with that weird vision? The only time I get anything similar to that is when I’m asleep and I’ve never actually seen anything from them before. Why was this time different? I mean for fuck’s sake, is an explanation really too much to ask for universe?! I keep putting that off when I know I shouldn’t, but what else can I do? The closest thing I have to scientist around here is an eleven-year-old dare devil! I just hope everything works out… You heard small footsteps coming towards you, cracking an eye open you recognized the small boy with a neck cloth over his mouth. “Hi there Johnny, is everything okay?” He shook his head.

“Are Mama and Papa…going to be alright?” He asked shyly as he took a seat on your lap and rested his head against your shoulder. You gave his back a soft pat.

“Yeah, they’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about that, okay sweetie?” He nodded and a few moments of comforting silence befell you. That didn’t last long though.

“Don’t get mad but… Alexander and James… are playing with fire outside.” WHAT?! You jumped up, holding Johnny in your arms. DO THEY HAVE A DEATH WISH OR SOMETHING?! You ran outside while carrying the small boy, AJ was poking the fire with a stick while Jamie stood a few feet behind him with his arms crossed.

“Come on Alexander! Seriously, we’re going to get in trouble!” Jamie said nervously.

“Oh trust me, you guys are definitely in trouble! Alexander Jr, put that stick down right now!”

“But do you not ever wonder what amount of heat it takes for things to burn? Like this paper!” He groaned.

“Four hundred and fifty-one degrees Fahrenheit, now put that stick down and get me a bucket filled with water to put out this bonfire!” You put Johnny back down on the ground, a safe distance away from the still burning wood. “Stay here, alright? I don’t want you to get burned.” He blinked at you, his way of silently agreeing. AJ ran past you and into the house. What am I going to do with that adorable little pyromaniac? Jamie skipped next to you.

“Am I in trouble too?” He asked.

“Yes, you are. I’m proud of you for trying to tell him to stop but you should’ve gotten me in the first place. You will only not get dessert tonight; AJ is now up to a month of no sweets…” I don’t want to break his spirits when it comes to his experiments, I just don’t want him to get third-degree burns! AJ soon came, stumbling a bit on the steps, he handed you a bucket filled with water. You went over to the fire and slowly poured it over top, thoroughly dousing it. “Alright boys, get back inside and study. AJ, no more experiments for the rest of the day. You can start fresh tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am.” AJ sighed, all three of them going back inside and up the stairs to their room. I guess I should check back in on Alex and Eliza… As you made your way back down the halls you caught sight of Philip pressing his ear against the door. You taped him on the shoulder and whispered.

“Are they talking?”

“Yes, I cannot tell what they are saying but at least they aren’t screaming at each other.” He whispered back. You grabbed the chair and quietly moved it away from the door. “What are you doing?”

“Just an idea I had. Come on, let me try that tea you and Angie made.” Honestly I could really use something to calm me down.

             A few hours later all of you were sitting in the dining room, eating lunch. They’re been talking for a while, should I tell them they can leave now?

“What are you thinking about over there?” Philip was sitting by your side.

“Just how terrible that tea was, you really need to work on your brewing skills Sunshine.” You teased.

“I cannot believe you would say that to me! I am hurt, truly am. How will I ever forgive you?” He shot back with fake hurt.

“It was but a jest. Looks like the sun’s got some clouds in its way today!” You heard the door to the dining room open and focused your gaze on it. Eliza and Alex came through, they looked calmer than before, everyone wat the table was silent.

“Good day everyone, your mother and I have an announcement.” What now?! “Since this time has been rather stressful on all of us, we have decided that a trip is in order.”

“A trip?” Jamie asked. Eliza nodded, a faint smile on her face.

“Yes, a winter get away. We still have several months until then but we plan to go upstate to help relax. Perhaps we could also convince a few close compatriots to come along.” I’m glad she seems happy.

“When will we be leaving?” Angie asked.

“End of November and we plan to stay until the end of February.” Alex explained. Wow, long vacation.

“We must start preparing soon!” AJ exclaimed. You and Philip both seemed uneasy with the situation. You were both glad that things were looking up but now everything was new territory. You looked over at Rachel and she understood what you were trying to ask.

What does this mean for us?

MC singing Burn from Hamilton after finding out Zen cheated

Ooooo I love angst sooooo much bless 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
————————————————-
• At first things between you and Zen were amazing. You were always together, walking hand in hand, going on cute dates
• After a few months you noticed that he went to work more and became a bit distant
• You didn’t really mind tbh but something didn’t feel right
• One night Zen came home drunk af and just said
•" Ugh MC why are you still here I don’t want you here why don’t you understand that"
• You were like woah Zen what the heck but he ignored you and locked himself in the bedroom
•He left his phone on the table and you heard it go off
• You saw messages from some girl called Steffie
•Messages like “I had so much fun thanks for taking me out” “I miss you already”
• You figured out quite quickly that he had an affair with that girl
• You called Jeahee and explained everything and she said that you could stay at her place
• So you grabbed your stuff and left
•The next day it was all over Twitter, Zen made it public that he was in a relationship with that Steffie girl
• A lot of the hardcore fans were obviously confused because they thought you were with Zen ( since they know where he lives and all)
• Jeahee saw the Tweets too and asked how you felt
• Instead of crying you said “ I have a plan but I’ll need your help”
• A few days later it was the day of the RFA party
• You haven’t talked to Zen since the day you left him and every time he logged in you logged out
• There was a lot of journalists at the location of the party all the RFA members thought it was because of Zen
• But hohohohoooo they were in for a surprise
• Jeahee was standing on the stage saying her little speech everything were going as planned
• Then she said “ and now we have the person who made all of this possible. one of the strongest people I know and they’re going to sing Burn from Hamilton, here’s MC”
• Boom the spotlight was focused on you
• Zen was shOOK LMAOO
• “ Be careful with that one love. He will do anything to survive”
• When you sang “that one” you pointed at Zen
• Don’t forget that there were cameras everywhere yupp this is going viral
• “ I’m burning the memories. Burning the letters that might have redeemed you. You forfeit all rights to my heart. You forfeit the place in our bed. You sleep in your office instead. With only the memories, of when you were mine.”
• Jeahee was fangirling backstage
• Everyone was so shocked but you were actually quite good
• Zen was shaking he was embarrassed and regret started to kick in. What did he think you were the best thing that happened to him why was he so selfish and stupid
• You didn’t care. You were pissed and wanted to make him pay for hurting and embarrassing you like he did
• So you stood your ground looking like a powerful queen as you ended your song
• “I hope that you burn”
—————————————
Honestly this was so funny to write lmao
Don’t hate me but I haven’t watched Hamilton yet oops so I had to google the song lmao
-Tess

MBTI Hamilton Lyrics

Know I’m late to the party with this, but thought it would be fun.  I’m picking lines that I can imagine each of the types saying, not things that would be directed towards them or that would said be about them.  So imagine each type singing these lines.  

ISTJ
I am the one thing in life I can control.
I am inimitable, I am an original.
I’m not falling behind or running late.
I’m not standing still, I am lying in wait.
-Burr, in “Wait For It

ISFJ
Oh.  Can I show you what I’m proudest of?
I established the first private orphanage in New York City.
I help to raise hundreds of children,
I get to see them growing up.

-Eliza, in “Who Lives Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

INFJ
While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice:
Talk less.
Smile more. 
Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.
-Burr, in “Aaron Burr, Sir

INTJ
God help and forgive me,
I wanna build
Something that’s gonna
Outlive me.
-Hamilton, in “The Room Where It Happens

ISTP

All alone, watch them run,
They will tear each other into pieces
Jesus Christ this will be fun!  
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da da dat dat da ya daaaaa!
-King George, “I Know Him

ISFP
I wanna sit under my own vine and fig tree
A moment alone in the shade
At home in this nation we’ve made
One last time.

-Washington, “One Last Time

INFP
The world has no right to my heart,
The world has no place in our bed,
They don’t get to know what I said.
I’m burning the memories, 
Burning the letters that might have redeemed you.
-Eliza, “Burn

INTP
My name is Philip,
I am a poet,
I wrote this poem just
To show it.
And I just turned nine,
You can write rhymes,
But you can’t write mine.
-Philip, “Take A Break

ESTP
I’m taking this horse by the reins makin’ 
Redcoats redder than bloodstains.
And I’m never gonna stop until I make ‘em
Drop and burn ‘em up and scatter their remains.
-Lafayette, “Guns and Ships” 

ESFP
I’ll remind you that he is not Secretary of State,
He knows nothing of loyalty.
Smells like new money, dresses like fake royalty.
Desperate to rise above his station,
Everything he does betrays the ideals of our nation.
-Jefferson, “Cabinet Battle #2

ENFP
If I could spare his life,
If I could trade his life for mine,
He’d be standing here right now,
And you would smile, and that would be enough”
-Hamilton, “It’s Quiet Uptown

ENTP
‘Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,’
We fought for these ideals, we shouldn’t settle for less,
These are wise words, enterprising men quote ‘em,
Don’t act surprised you guys, because I wrote ‘em.
Owwwwwwww!

-Jefferson, “Cabinet Battle #1

ESTJ
Thomas, that was a real nice declaration,
Welcome to the present, we’re running a real nation.
Would you like to join us?  Or stay mellow,
Doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?
-Hamilton, “Cabinet Battle #1

ESFJ
I’m a girl in a world in which
My only job is to marry rich.
My father has no sons so I’m the one
Who has to social climb for one.
-Angelica,  “Satisfied

ENFJ

I’ve got a small query for you:
What comes next?  You’ve been freed,
Do you know how hard it is to lead?
You’re on your own.  ‘Awesome, wow!’
Do you have a clue what happens now?

-King George, “What Comes Next?

ENTJ
You want a revolution? I want a revelation,
So listen to my declaration:
‘We hold these truths to be self-evident,
That all men are created equal.’
And when I meet Thomas Jefferson,
I’ma compel him to include women in the sequel.
WORK!

-Angelica, “The Schuyler Sisters