Request: Hey! I was wondering if I could request something? Lately ive been having a lot of anxiety attacks about myself, like self doubt and i feel v insecure and afraid and i was wondering if you could do an imagine or something about the reader having these anxiety attacks and bucky comforting and helping them get through the attack?? Idk if that makes sense. But thanks for reading this I love your blog bye - @lovelyttom
Note: yikes the title .. also, I’m sorry if it’s too short :( I hope your anxiety gets better, that you realize how strong you are, and that you overcome whatever obstacle life puts you through, darlin’! I love you all so much and my ask box is open for anyone who needs to talk! .c
All morning, Bucky had been worried about you. You didn’t show up for breakfast, training, or the meeting Steve had scheduled two days prior. It wasn’t like you to not show up and it worried Bucky to no end. Throughout the meeting he kept glancing at the door, waiting for you to hurriedly race in, apologizing for sleeping in late.
But when you hadn’t shown up after two hours, Bucky rushed out of his chair when Steve dismissed everyone and made his way to your bedroom. The only thing on his mind was making sure you’re okay.
Inside your bedroom, you were sitting in a corner, bawling your eyes out. Your anxiety was through the roof. You thought about how horribly you’ve been feeling lately, every reason why; self-doubt weighed down your shoulders and you couldn’t think about anything except your flaws.
You were crying into your arms as you held your knees to your chest, rocking back and forth. Everything came crashing down on top of you as you soon as you woke up. It started with one small thought, then it went downhill from there. You figured a nice, warm shower would help. But when it didn’t, you felt hopeless.
A light knock startled you and you picked your head up to look at your door. You couldn’t find your voice so you hoped they would forget about you and just leave. But the man behind the door was not one to give up, especially on you. After three more knocks, you invited them in and wiped at your cheeks,having no energy to move from your spot.
Bucky slowly opened your door, nervous to see the state you were in. When his eyes landed on you, he felt relieved – but it was short lived when he looked at your eyes spilling tears and the fact that you were sitting in a corner scared him.
Bucky rushed to your side and his eyebrows creased with worry as he dropped to his knees in front of you. “Y/N, are you okay?” You thought about the question for a moment. Were you okay? No, you absolutely were not okay. You shook your head and let out a sob, covering your mouth so you wouldn’t be too loud.
“No, no, hey hey hey,” Bucky immediately pulled you onto his lap and closed his arms around your shaking body. You hiccuped with cries and your fingers grasped at Bucky’s grey shirt. You knew your tears were soaking his shoulder but he clearly didn’t mind. He shushed you softly, rubbing your back soothingly.
After a while, Bucky found that that wasn’t helping when your cries got louder and your breathing became too shallow and restricted. It was beginning to scare him and he knew he had to do something.
“Y/N,” His voice was firm, yet gentle. It caught your attention and you looked up at him and pulled away just a tad, waiting for him to continue. “I need you to breathe with me.” Bucky lifted his hand to your cheek, caressing the moistened skin with the pad of his thumb.
“Can you do that for me, Doll?” You hesitated before nodding, inhaling sharply. Bucky kept his eyes on yours, breathing in slowly. Your lip quivered and your grip on his shirt didn’t let up as you shakily followed his breathing pattern.
His metal hand rubbed against your back and you felt yourself slowly but surely starting to calm. “That’s it, Doll.” Bucky whispered. Every breath Bucky inhaled, you mirrored. The softness in his eyes distracted you from your thoughts, but only a little bit.
Soon your breathing had gone back to normal, but your crying hadn’t stopped. It was a silent cry and Bucky knew that was the worst kind. It meant that you were still in your mind; your thoughts were screaming at you.
Bucky kept his eyes on you as you calmed down. “Are you feeling better?” He caressed your cheek again and you sniffled, releasing your hold on his shirt. “A little.” You whispered.
The longer you sat in his lap, the thoughts of how insecure you were surfaced again. Bucky could detect the hitch in your throat and he pressed his lips to your forehead.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, Y/N.” Bucky all but begged, he needed to know what was bothering you so much. He couldn’t stand to see you hurting like this. Your eyebrows knit together and Bucky wanted to smooth the wrinkles out but refrained from doing so.
You licked your dry lips and took a steady breath. “My anxiety is so terrible and- I’m not-” You shook your head as if that would magically help silence your thoughts and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to hold in your sobs this time.
Bucky nodded his head gently and wiped a tear that fell down your cheek before pulling you into a hug. You clung to him. “You’re so strong, sweetheart. Please remember that.” He whispered into your hair, closing his eyes. He felt guilty for not coming to you sooner.
“I just feel so…so afraid. It’s like no matter what I do, it’s not good enough.” Your voice cracked and you sounded so hurt, it started to break Bucky’s heart even more. He couldn’t believe what you just told him, but he kept his reaction buried.
If anything, everything you did was more than good enough. You brought a smile to everyone’s face, picked up slack when you noticed it, you were friendly and so kind to everyone you meet.
“You’re good enough, I promise you that. And so, so beautiful. It’s okay to cry, to let it out. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone, but I’m here now, okay? I’ll help you the best I can.” Your eyes watered after Bucky finished speaking and you felt the lump in your throat forming again.
“Thank you, Bucky.” You sank into him and sighed softly, finally feeling like you could relax. Bucky held you close, rubbing your back once again.
You felt safe in his arms. As long as you had someone to go to that’s willing to help, you felt that maybe you’d finally be okay.
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