in love with bestfriend

I will never find the words to tell you how much I love you, I will never find them because there are no words to explain it. You are my soul mate, my rock, my best friend and my girlfriend. I’m in love with you because I don’t know what I would do without you, I forget what life was like before I met you. All that you are is all that I will ever need. I fell in love with your smile, the way your eyes squint when you laugh, when you turn up the volume in the car so we can sing together at the top of our lungs, waking up to ‘Good morning baby’. I fell in love with you because you are my perfect person, you are BEAUTIFUL! If I could ask for one thing it would be that you could see yourself through my eyes to see how amazingly perfect you really are! I love how you always make me feel like i’m worth something, how you make me smile when I almost forget how to.

I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn’t love myself.

There is more to life than him. There are cafes on cozy city corners with vintage chandeliers and that waiter that always smiles at you when you order a chai latte. There are christmas trees that shine through apartment windows and that seventy year old couple across the hall who walk around the park at 9:30 every morning. Rainy Thursdays when you’re awoken by the patter of rain on your roof and Sunday nights when the week is yours to conquer. There’s swimming in the ocean at dusk when the sky is pink and the saltwater is warm. There’s sweet wine to drink with your best friends and karaoke songs to butcher with any willing participant. There are bubble baths after a long day and a clean bed with fresh sheets. There are adventures waiting in some far off country and a boy who will look at you one day like you’re the only person in the damn world. There is more to life than heartbreak.
—  reminder
The sound of her laugh is better than any song on the radio and she smiles like it’s her job. She has love letters stashed in the back of her desk addressed to all the boys who have kept her up at night, making her wonder if she’ll ever really be good enough. She drinks hard alcohol in an attempt to forget him, but always finds herself dialing his number after 12:00 AM. She eats French toast sticks before school and smiles at the strangers on the bus. She sings at the top of her lungs and taps her feet to the rhythms dancing in her head. Although she’s hurting, you’d never know. It’s not a love story, but god she wishes it was.
—  letters to my best friends, #1
Everyone said “never fall for your best friend, they’ll break you.” I was so naive to think I was different than them, now I sit here staring at the ceiling. Alone. I didn’t just lose love, I lost my very best friend, and my other half.
—  21:54//10/26/16