in heaven everything is fine

All Over Again

The first time he falls in love with Otabek Altin, he was sixteen years old.

Of all places, it was in Hasetsu. His fingers fumbled with the chopsticks in his hand, and the Kazakh took notice of it. His smile and his words were gentle, humouring, as he placed his hand on top of the Russian’s. Step by step, careful movements, a mother’s tutorial.

“Perfect, Yura.”

There had been something wrong with his heart right then; because just like his jumps on the ice, it flipped inside of his chest - it was a sensation all too powerful and consuming, unfamiliar and terrifying to the boy during the height in the Era of ‘What-the-fuckery’ of teenage years. He had to double check. Triple. Quad. At five his heart would wrench so tightly in his chest he had to excuse himself to leave. 

He didn’t remember where he went. 

It was somewhere on the ice when he found himself breathing steadily, his thoughts somewhere else. Somewhere where it was raining. It was always raining somewhere else. 

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pottertardiss  asked:

what was the last book you read?

i tend to read in batches. Finished recently, or about to finish: 

STALINGRAD, antony beevor
THE MAN WITHOUT A FACE, masha gessen
LUNA: NEW MOON and LUNA: WOLF MOON, ian mcdonald
and i’m stalling out on HITLER: ASCENT 1889-1939 by volker ullrich, not because it’s not good but it’s… i dunno, it’s pretty hitler-y.

25 by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

The world is a beautiful place
                         to be born into
if you don’t mind happiness
         not always being
                    so very much fun
if you don’t mind a touch of hell
               now and then
     just when everything is fine
                    because even in heaven
           they don’t sing
                                 all the time
     The world is a beautiful place
                                 to be born into
if you don’t mind some people dying
                                     all the time
      which isn’t half so bad
                                     if it isn’t you
Oh the world is a beautiful place
                                   to be born into
     if you don’t much mind
                               a few dead minds
         in the higher places
                                 or a bomb or two
         now and then
                        in your upturned faces
or other such improprieties
                        as our Name Brand society
                       is prey to
                            with its men of distinction
  and its men of extinction
                                         and its priests
        and other patrolmen
                        and its various segregations
and congressional investigations
                              and other constipations
              that our fool flesh
                             is heir to
 Yes the world is the best place of all
                           for a lot of such things as
making the fun scene
                      and making the love scene
and making the sad scene
          and singing low songs and having inspirations
  and walking around
                     looking at everything
                                and smelling flowers
and goosing statues
              and even thinking
                          and kissing people and
      making babies and wearing pants
                               and waving hats and
                        and going swimming in rivers
               on picnics
                     in the middle of the summer
      and just generally
                                     'living it up’
   but then right in the middle of it
                                     comes the smiling

The First Christmas

500 followers celebration 2nd place - Gabriel x Reader - Fluff - 1k+ words

Summary: Gabriel tells the story of the first Christmas.
Pairing: Angel Gabriel x Reader 
Warnings: Fluff with a little bit of angst. Gif isn’t mine. 
Word counting: 1k+

“Are you ready?” Gabriel looked down at the little girl, enjoying the privacy his magical bubble gave them momentarily.

“Yes.” She affirmed, her large eyes fixed on him.

“Okay, then.” He made a dramatic pause and cleaned his throat like he was about to tell the greatest of the stories. “It was just a regular day in heaven, everything was just fine, and Father came to talk to me. “

Y/N watched the archangel with her huge childish Y/E/C eyes, enchanted by his voice.

“He looked at me and said: Son. I have an important mission for you.” He made a deeper voice. “And I said: of course Father. And he said: Because I know you are the smartest ass in this holy place…”

“Dad!” She exclaimed. “That’s not what he said.”

He pouted, rolling his eyes.

“He didn’t say it with these exact same words, but I’m sure he meant it.”  He affirmed., “Can I continue?”

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For My Own

Title: For My Own

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Word Count: 1,092

Warnings: fluff!

A/N: I had this one for a while, but it was actually requested by @dreamingofwinchesters to do something like this for the Christmas Drabble list! Which is HERE! So I hope you all enjoy this! <3 Feedback is welcomed and appreciated <3

You grabbed your hot chocolate off of the coffee table, taking a small sip.  It was Christmas Eve and you had just gotten home from a hunt with the Winchesters.  You told them that you wanted a Christmas tree, no excuses.  They even let you get a few strands of lights and a couple boxes of ornaments.  You smiled at the tree, taking another drink of your hot cocoa, then setting your mug down.

“Wow it’s almost perfect,” Dean chimed in.  “Hey is there any pie left in the kitchen?”

You turned around, smiling at the older Winchester.  “Thanks, and yes, one last piece for you.  If you don’t hurry, Sam might get to it first,” you joked.

“If he wants to live, he won’t,” Dean said playfully.

“Hey, I’m gonna go for a walk, okay,” you said grabbing your coat and hat off the table.

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Bambam, little angel, what is Markson teaching you lately..? ♥

My bedroom smells like rotten food
and i guess so do i
it’s harder to be good in here
than it is to starve and die

i’d give my body to satan
if i could only keep my soul
but i can’t seem to find the split
between them anymore

my hair is falling out again
and i don’t really care
i try to stir my conscience
it was never really there

your fingers up inside of me
feel like fingers down my throat
everything is fine in heaven
but i’ll never get to know

make sacrifice in bathtubs
and stained bed covers
soak all of my clothes in holy water
and drown them like a crying son
drown them like a crying daughter
praying in the night to the angels of porn
nails in their wrists, knees on the floor
great lakes full of cum extracted from everyone
-Nicole Dollanganger “Angels of Porn”

Im very excited to get my new wigs too!!

Should Be Me - Castiel Imagine

Castiel x reader.

Summary: A hunt requires you to make a quick decision. Only Castiel isn’t pleased with the outcome.

You sat with your feet up on the table in front of you flicking through the old record book. You looked up as the door opened. Sam and Dean walked in heads hanging. ‘Did you find it?’ You asked them. You were all trying to find some kind of old family heirloom, but pretty much everything had been donated by the last owners and you didn’t have a clue what was doing it. ‘Well?’ You asked the brothers. Dean shrugged off his jacket. ‘Didn’t get in’ He grumbled and slapped your feet off the table. ‘I’m gonna call Cas, he can zap us in’ You rolled your eyes.

You stood to your feet. ‘You went dressed like that?’ You scoffed and they both looked down at their attire. ‘You do know who this family is? They’re MASSIVE in the art world. I told you to put on a suit’ You scolded them. ‘No, you suggested we put on a suit, we ignore you’ You narrowed your eyes at them. ‘Cas’ Dean sat on one of the twin beds. ‘Get your feathery ass down here, we need a quick favour’ You walked to the fridge as you heard the rustle of wings behind you. ‘Dean’ You heard Castiel’s voice.

You turned your head to see Castiel standing in front of the door. ‘Hi Cas’ You felt a smile spread across your lips. The Angel turned his head towards you. ‘Hello Y/n’ He let a small smile grace his own full lips. ‘I did not know you were working this case with Sam and Dean’ His low voice sent shivers through you. ‘I was in the area when they called for a book of mine, I decided to stay’ You explained. He nodded. ‘I am glad you did, it is always good to see you again. It is nice to know you’re safe’ You blushed and cleared your throat going back to taking a beer from the fridge.

You popped the cap from the bottle. ‘Dean’ You sighed rolling your eyes again. ‘Even if you get Cas to fly you in you won’t get away with it, trust me’ He gave you one of his shit eating grins he always got when he thought of something amazing. He stood by Cas and winked at you. ‘Give me an hour sweetheart and I’ll be back, with what we need’ Cas laid his hand on Dean’s shoulder and a second later they were gone. 

You looked at Sam holding up your beer. He nodded. ‘They’ll get caught, you should put on a suit, we’ll head over get what we need’ You held out a new beer to him. He nodded and stood taking a large gulp from his beer.

Half and hour later you heard talking from the front room. You applied the last of your red lipstick topping off the simple makeup you had on. You straightened the black blazer you were wearing over your knee length tight black dress. You opened the door of the bathroom striding out. ‘You finally ready to admit I’m right?’ You asked as all three boys looked towards you. 

Dean’s eyes widened and ran up and down your body. ‘Damn, you’re lookin good, you should dress like that more often’ He smirked. You felt a blush rising to your cheeks but rolled your eyes anyways. ‘Now go put on a suit’ You scolded. Dean smirked at you and grabbed the suit you had laid out on the bed. He strode past you with the suit in his arms. 

Your eyes fell on Castiel. He was leaning against the wall. His arms were crossed across his chest. His face hard, eyes following Dean glaring at him, his mouth set in a scowl. ‘What happened?’ You asked him, obviously Dean had screwed up. ‘They almost got arrested for trespassing’  Sam laughed shrugging on his suit jacket. Castiel’s eyes tore away from the closed door where Dean was and they came back to you as you began to laugh.

You looked down at your toes as you watched his face soften and his eyes give you a once over. ‘Dean was right’ You looked up at Cas as he smiled slightly at you. ‘You look beautiful’ Your eyes met his blue ones and you felt your whole body heat up. ‘Thank you Castiel’ You breathed before sitting on the bed pulling on your black heeled pumps. Dean came out of the bathroom in his suit walking for his shoes. 

You strode over to Cas, alright, take off the coat, you need it off’ You reached up and buttoned up his shirt button and then straightened his tie. ‘The coat won’t cut it’ You told him stepping away from the Angel. He clicked his fingers and it was off him folded on the chair. ‘Alright’ You looked at the boys. ‘Let me do the talking’ You told them grabbing your bag.

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