in fact it was the source of his pain

anonymous asked:

Hi! Your theories got me like "daaamn these are so good" and I've been thinking about it for days but what do you think about the pre-Kerberos period of time? What about Keith and Shiro meeting each other? What about the time spent together before Keith's hopes were crushed by a "pilot error"?

Oh, I love speculating about their relationship prekerberos. It’s really interesting, because the nature of it is kept in the dark most of the time. We only ever seem to get glimpses here and there. But, from what we know: when they’re stranded together, Shiro’s surprised Keith remembered Patience yields focus–That really stayed with you, didn’t it?” And he looks so incredibly touched by it, you can see how much it really means to him. As for Keith, his response comes easy, “You’ve given me some good advice. If it wasn’t for you, my life would have been a lot different.” So we know whatever impact Shiro had, it was incredibly significant. He’s apparently been there for Keith when no one else has, offering words of comfort and helping to guide him through hard times. 

I think we can all infer “Patience yields focus,” is something from their garrison days, and probably a mantra Keith got very used to hearing. He also very much internalized this–and likely a lot of other things Shiro said. That advice Shiro gave meant something to him, the fact that he took the time to be there for Keith when no one else would quite literally changed his life

Guidebook says Shiro and Matt graduated a few years before Kerberos, so Shiro was an officer by then. But he was still around the garrison when he wasn’t running missions. So I suppose at first, it could’ve been that Shiro was trying to mentor Keith. He saw a cadet who had a lot of promise but maybe had a hard time playing by the rules or staying focused. Or maybe he sees that Keith doesn’t have anyone in his corner–can’t seem to make friends and is always off on his own. So Shiro decides to take him under his wing. 

But I really want to stress that, however Shiro’s interest in Keith started, I don’t think he by any means saw Keith as some kind of charity project. Keith isn’t someone who lets others feel sorry for him, and he sure as hell won’t play the victim. I can see him really pushing Shiro away at first, insisting he doesn’t need anyone–that he’s always been his own and he’s doing just damn fine, thank you. Keith is someone who carves his own path, and I don’t think he’d take well to whatever help Shiro offered. He doesn’t need help. Never has. 

So it starts slow. Shiro tentatively joining Keith at the commissary or offering to train with him in the sim. Studying together turns into sparring together and late night sim sessions where Keith breaks record after record. He’s good, better than anyone else Shiro’s ever seen. But it’s not long before what they have isn’t just a one-way thing. Keith approaches Shiro on his own and is always eager to see him. He starts opening up bit by bit, and pretty soon everything he feels is a flooded dam and he just bursts.

Keith’s always been touch averse, but the next time Shiro goes to shake his hand Keith pulls him into a hug. He doesn’t ever want to let go. The passing touches here and there start to linger–a hand on Keith’s shoulder or a pat on the back, their hands clasped before they come together. Keith’s never known this kind of intimacy, so cloying, sweet relief. Because we know Keith freezes up at anyone else’s touch, but when Shiro reaches for him he just melts. 

We know from Joaquim that, “[Keith] latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check.” (source). Josh has also said, “[Keith’s] constantly scared he’s gonna say or do something wrong and he’s gonna lose Shiro.” (source). So we know Shiro is very much Keith’s anchor, the one person that can truly calm him down and help him stay centered. We know that Keith latches onto him, desperately clinging to that source of comfort and reassurance, for the safety and solace Shiro provides. 

We also know this is in part linked to his galran heritage, that Keith’s emotions are volatile and oppressive. Lauren has said that his emotions are, “kind of exasperated by the fact that Shiro’s gone. Like he’s having a hard time dealing with [Shiro’s loss], he doesn’t really know how to feel. And I think he just goes back to that inner part of himself where it’s just—he can’t control his emotions. And that comes from the galra side.” (source

And we’ve seen through how Honerva “softened” Zarkon that galra tend to look for partners who can help them manage that intensity, who are able to soothe the sheer overwhelming pain of those emotions. For Keith, Shiro was that partner. The only one. And when he loses that safety? He falls apart. I’m willing to bet the same thing happened after Kerberos–considering he was kicked out, wondered off to the desert feeling “lost,” desperately searching for some new  sense of purpose until–“Then you showed up.”

He’s an orphan. He hasn’t seen his parents in years. If they kick him out of the garrison, he’s got nowhere else to go. The other cadets are likely either jealous of him or hate him. The other officers won’t give him the time of day. Everyone in his life’s already written him off as a lost cause, but not you, Shiro, never you, please don’t leave me too–“Shiro is the one person who never gave up on me. I won’t give up on him.”

So, yes. Whatever Keith and Shiro had prekerberos, by the time Shiro left, they were already incredibly close. And we know this sort of affection wasn’t one-sided either. I know a lot of people tend to believe Keith’s depth of feeling for Shiro isn’t reciprocated, but that’s not the case at all. Yes, Keith latched onto Shiro, thought of him as his greatest hope–saw losing him as his deepest fear. But I believe the feeling is entirely mutual. Because, when Shiro was about to takeoff? The person he brought to the launch wasn’t his family or even another officer. It was Keith. Out of everyone at the garrison, Keith was the one he was closest to, the one he wanted to see him off. 

The truth is, Shiro also has his own walls. Even after spending a 6 month mission with him and having graduated in the same year, Matt is reluctant to approach Shiro, calling him sir. You don’t see that level of casual intimacy there. And Shiro has never once expressed any desire to return to Earth or reunite with his family, even after being gone for a year. Even knowing his family and friends would’ve been told he was dead. I believe he must have been estranged from his family. And as for friends, I imagine a lot of people thought they were Shiro’s friends at the garrison, that he was beloved and revered as a hero. But I think Shiro still kept them all at a distance. Everyone except for Keith.

It’s why Shiro wanted to spend his last moments with him before he left, wanted to take the chance to properly say goodbye. It’s why Joaquim said, “Keith and Shiro have the closest relationship, so there is that kinship there,” and Lauren added that, “And I think the Black Lion probably got from Shiro what Shiro saw in Keith.” (source). It’s why Shiro has fallen into this habit of pulling Keith aside and checking in with him whenever he’s worried. It’s why Shiro’s not at all surprised to see that Keith was the one who rescued him, the reason he asked “How did you know to come save me when I crashed?” instead of “Why?” Because Shiro knew without a doubt, if anyone would chase after him, always be there for him, it was Keith

Coney Island

Summary: A one-shot based on Bucky meeting you back in the 1940s. It was inspired by that scene in Civil War, where Bucky and Steve reminisce about that one time at Rockford Beach.

Characters/Relationships: 1940s!Bucky x Reader; Steve; Dolores aka ‘Dot’

Warnings: None, except for my shitty ass writing lol

A/N: Am bringing this back from my old blog, @thecrownedrose. 

Originally posted by almie18

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Without You (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request: “Can you do a Jason Todd x Reader where they get into their first fight?”- anon

Warning(s): language

A/N: So basically, this took forever for me to do because I wrote the whole thing, was ready to post it, decided I hated it, and redid it all. So, I apologize for not posting anything in forever! I’m the worst. Lol.

Y/N- Your Name

Y/N/N- Your Nick Name

________________________________________________________________

It had been weeks since you’d heard back from Jason. He was out on another one of his missions with Roy and Kori somewhere dangerous. It always scared the hell out of you when he left, your thoughts always wandering to the darkest scariest corner of your mind.

What if he’s injured, or been captured, or god forbid what if he’s dead?

You shutter just thinking about it.

You had just gotten home from work, where it was impossible to focus on anything but Jason. Eventually your boss had gotten tired of you zoning out during your shift, and let you go early. You couldn’t even blame him. What good were you if you couldn’t perform a simple task without being distracted by the idea of Jason maybe never coming home?

It’s not like Jason had never gone MIA before, because he had. But never for this long… he almost always found a way to get into contact with you, and if he personally couldn’t talk to you, he’d make sure someone else gave you the message.

But this time no one had called, or texted, or anything, and the worry was eating away at you.

You walked up to the home the two of you shared, hoping and praying you’d open the door and see him standing there, but when you went in all you found was your empty apartment. You sighed, threw your keys and jacket onto the table and shuffled off to your room.

As soon as you made it to the bed you realized how exhausted you were… worrying really took all the energy out of you. You pulled back the comforter and crawled in, curling up into a ball under the sheets and soon falling asleep.

It wasn’t even an hour later when you woke and heard a loud thump come from the opposite side of the room, you froze in terror. There was someone in your apartment and you had no way to defend yourself. You instantly regretted all the times you’d turned Jason down when he offered to help you learn how to fight. Suddenly you remembered the baseball bat you had stashed under the bed, for situations just like this. You quietly reached your arm out from underneath your blankets and blindly searched for the bat. When your hand reached it, you knew you had to work fast. You got a good grip on your weapon and lunged off the bed, closed your eyes, and swung the bat wildly at whoever had broken in through your window.

The person yelped out in pain but ultimately snatched the bat out of your hands and threw it to the floor. You were about to scream when they put their hands on your shoulders and spoke.

“Y/N! Stop! It’s me!” they shouted.

You recognized the voice, and quickly opened your eyes to see your boyfriend standing in front of you. You almost collapsed in relief.

“Jesus… you hit really hard.” He mutters, walking over to the light switch and flipping it on.

You looked him up and down, he seemed to be fine, if anything he’d have a couple of bruises in the morning, but otherwise unscathed.

Once you were sure that he was okay, your relief turned to anger. He could see it by the look on your face that he was in trouble.

“I can explain…” he said, putting his hands up in defense.

“Oh, I’m sure…” you respond sarcastically.

Jason sighs and goes to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Baby, please. Can we do this tomorrow? I’m exhausted. I want to talk, I do. But I can’t even think straight right now.” He says, using his best puppy dog eyes on you.

But it only makes you angrier. Not only did Jason disappear for weeks without a trace, but now he wasn’t even trying to take you seriously. Any other day, you’d agree. You’d never had a real fight with Jason before, but you had a feeling tonight was gonna be your first.

You turned around without answering him, and walked into your closet, leaving him sitting there utterly confused.

You came out a few minutes later fully dressed.

“What are you doing?” he asks, his brows furrowing together.

“You can sleep, I’m going to stay at Barb’s for the night.” You muttered before walking out the bedroom door.

With that Jason jumps up from his spot on the bed, following you out.

“Hey, wait!” he shouts after you.

You spin around on your heel’s, stopping so fast that Jason almost runs right into you.

“What’s going on with you? I know I was gone longer than expected, but I didn’t think it’d be that big of a deal…” he confess’, trying to understand what’s going on.

“That’s really why you think I’m mad? No, Jason. I’m mad because you were gone for two weeks, and I had no idea if you were okay. You didn’t call, you didn’t text, hell I would’ve settled for fucking carrier pigeon. I haven’t been able to sleep or eat, I couldn’t even focus long enough to get anything done at work…” you trail off, you can feel yourself getting worked up now, but you can’t stop.

“Babe… I’m so sorry. I just got really busy, I didn’t think it’d affect you that much.” he mumbles.

At this point you’re crying, angry tears more than anything.

As soon as Jason notices, he steps forward and tries to pull you into his arms, but you push away from him.

“I never would’ve put you through something like this, and if I did my explanation would be a lot better than a simple ‘I got busy’…” you say through the tears.

“Y/N/N…” he frowns, feeling guilty.

More than anything he wanted to protect you, and make you happy. The fact that he was the source of your pain killed him.

Finally, you wipe the tears from your eyes and grab your things.

“I have to leave… I have to go before I say something that I’ll regret in the morning. You should get some sleep, you look exhausted.” And with that you opened the door and left, leaving Jason standing alone in your dark empty apartment.

 

The next morning you wake early, thank Barbara for letting you crash on her couch, and leave for home. You got about as much sleep as you had expected you would, which was not a lot. You spent most of the night just staring at the ceiling thinking about Jason. Thinking about how maybe you had overreacted, more than anything you just wanted to be cuddled up in your bed together watching crappy tv and eating copious amounts of junk food. But at the same time, Jason hurt you, and he seemed to not understand why, which only made you more upset.

Once you arrived at the apartment, you walked in as quietly as you could, trying not to make too much noise. But as soon as you closed the door behind you, you heard a hoarse voice call out your name, and saw Jason sit up on the couch.

“What are you doing? Why didn’t you sleep in the room?” you ask, setting your stuff down, and go to sit down next to him.

“I didn’t want to sleep in the bed without you…” he says, and you can hear the exhaustion in his voice.

As soon as he says this you can feel all the anger from the night before melt away. And from his tone it was obvious you weren’t the only one who had stayed up all night.

“Oh, Jason…” you sigh.

He looks over at you, the dark circles under his eyes more prominent than usual.

You turn to him cupping his face in your hands, and bring your lips to his giving him a soft kiss.

“Let’s get you to bed… Okay? We can talk about this later…” you say, grabbing his hand and standing up, but he pulls you back down next to him.

“No… I need you to know that I’m sorry. I know I hurt you and I don’t ever want to make you feel like I don’t care ever again. You’re one of the most important people in my life and I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.” He says, staring down at your hands in his.

A small smile spreads across your face as you speak.

“Jason… you silly boy. You’re never going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere any time soon. I was just worried, and when I saw that you were okay it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But it also let me realize how angry I was at you for not at least letting me know you were alive… I don’t think I could ever go through that again. Losing you the first time was hard enough.” You explain.

“I love you.” he says, kissing you again.

You sigh into the kiss, this was all you had wanted to do for weeks, and now he was here, and it was perfect.

“I love you too.” You say, with heavy eyes.

When you pull away, you yawn, making Jason laugh.

“Don’t you yawn, you’re gonna make me-“ but before he can finish his sentence he yawns as well.

You laugh too, and pull on his arm once again, this time he stands up with you.

“Come on, love. Let’s go to bed.” You smile, and make your way to the bedroom where the both of you get the best sleep you’ve had in weeks.

The Marauders + your period

Just a small preference of how they would be acting BECAUSE TODAY I DIED BC OF HORMONES

To the OP: I hope it’s okay that I used your work, if not please tell me and I’ll remove it. The gif does not belong to me.

Here is the source and this is the artist’s blog

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Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Winchester sister imagine

A/n: based off of episode 12 that aired last night so spoilers

Warnings: blood, language, the usual.

Forever tag list: @Freaksforthewin , @thewinhunter, @cambriacaneatnoodles, @brokennoone , @youtubehelpsmesurvive , @chrisevansthedoritobastard , @winchesters-favorite-girl , @we-know-a-little-about-a-lot @godh8salyssa @dean-baby-Winchester @straightasdeanwinchester@animexchocolate

“Crowley’s right,” piercing blue eyes starred into your own. “You should go.” A loud pain filled grunt filled the air around the rotting angel.

“Cas, come on.” Your oldest brother, Dean, wore a set of swollen eyes. Trying their best to soak up the tears daring to escape from their green captors.

The whole time you stayed crouched directly to his right side. Locking your left hand with his own right.

“No, you listen to me.” His voice cracked slightly as another grown escape his chapped lips. “You-look, thank you. Knowing you, it…it’s been the best part of my life.”

“Cas…” you’d only whispered it, but he heard your hushed and broken tone speaking to the right of him.

“The things…the things we’ve shared together. They’ve changed me.” The pain in his body soared up to his eyes, jumping to yours as his eyes locked to you for a split moment before looking to the rest of the family.

“You’re my family. I love you.” At the last part, the two of you shared a solid moment of eye contact. The grip he had on your hand tightened for a split second before he continued. “I love all of you.”

Your head shook at his words. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening.

“This sounds an awful like a goodbye speech to me.” The sadness you’d tried your best to contain flooded like a broken dam out of your eyes as you spoke.

“Your story doesn’t end here, Castiel.” Mary, your mother, had a certain kind of look to her. She wore a coat of guilt, but why? You all helped people- other hunters. “This is my fault.” When she directed the blame directly to herself, a cold chill went tingling up your spin as fresh goosebumps danced along your exposed arms and neck.

“Just please…please, don’t make my final moments be spent watching you die.” Judging by the look in his eyes, he wouldn’t gotten up and shoved you all out the door if he had the strength. “Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.” With all his strength he tried to push his body upward, but only fumbled back down with a cough.

A care filled and loving smile spread on your lips. Salty tears fell down your cheeks and over your split bottom lip. Stinging the open wound more than smiling did. Reaching forward with your right hand, you Bentley caressed the side of his head where the rotting hadn’t yet spread. Your fingers getting tangled up in his messy hair.

“Cas, no.” Your voice barley broke through the tears.

“Yes.” He inhaled sharply.

“There is no way in hell I’m leaving you here. If you’re staying, I’m staying right here with you.” No longer was your hand intertwined with his hair. Instead it rested on top of yours which still held on tightly to his left hand.

A sharp and rough sigh came from his rotting body.

Why must you be so pig headed, Y/n?” His body repositioned to what seemed to be a more comfortable position for him to rest in.

A short laugh came from your still sore body. “Nobody told you to love me, Feathers.”

“You need to keep fighting.” Frustration took over his look of pain. He was no longer talking just to you.

“We are fighting.” Sam exhaled sharply. “We’re fighting for you, Cas.” His eyebrows were bunched together as the three lines of wrinkles took over the middle of his forehead.

“And like you said, you’re family.” Dean chimed in. “And we don’t leave family behind.”

Your angels head rested backwards in defeat. There was no way any of you were leaving him, and he knew that.

Sam called for your mother to follow him to talk. Dean trailed behind the two of them while you stayed next to Cas. Locking your fingers even tighter with his.

“I won’t let you leave me.” After a few seconds of silence between you two, you’d finally broken it.

“Y/n,” there was no doubt he was about to protest with what could very well have been his final breath, but you wouldn’t let him.

“No, Cas. Why would you ever…ever think I would leave you?” Part of you felt disappointed. Not in him, but in yourself. “Regardless of circumstances.”

He let out a grown before he responded. “Because… the last thing I want to leave this world seeing is the person I love the most being slaughtered in front of me while I’m left- unable to do anything.” It was getting harder for him to speak. Grunts and groans came from him in between words.

His eyes closed for a moment as a deep and held in groan came from his body. Up the left side of his face grew a splitting black crack. The rotting was getting worse.

Baby…” your hands reached out, fingers just barley touching his face.

A loud banging sound followed by a deep shout came from outside. Somewhat close to your brothers, a giant human side hole was created as a body was thrown through. Crowley.

Seemed not siding with you guys hadn’t worked so well in his favor. Or had he chosen to help in a different way?

Hidden behind the walls came a sharp, fine tuned whistling. A man stepped through and the grip Castiel had on your hand tried its best to get stronger. As if he was protecting you. Telling you to stay out and not do something stupid to get yourself killed as well.

Ramiel and the rest of your family began to speak back and forth, but you were more concerned with how fast the rot was growing.

Your brothers carried on with the Prince. All of your attention was on Cas, who was completely focused on what was happening with the rest of the Winchesters. Knowing you were somewhat safe beside him.

Suddenly, the prince reached behind him and pulled out a lance. The one Crowley had mentioned. The moment it’s base hit the ground powerfully, a gust of strong wind came in your direction. Every direction really. Your family went flying in every direction, while Cas did his best to help anchor you down to prevent you from going too. Then the battle begun.

For a few moments you sat there, watching from a short distance. Until you realized it would take all the power possible to stop him.

Your body stood up. But something stopped you from continuing forward to the fight. A hand which was grabbed lordly onto the bottom of your newly ripped jeans. Cas. This was his way of telling you to stay. Reluctantly you did. Ignoring every fiber of your body pulling towards the rest of your family.

Finally, your brothers had managed to get him into a vulnerable position as the lance was drove deeply into his chest. It was over. Be at the same time it was just beginning.

A dark black substance began pouring from the angels lips. “Guys.” Your voice was almost barley heard, but it was just enough to get their attention.

It was almost as if he was having a seizure. His body began shaking at one point and it was almost too much to watch. Slowly you lifted a very shaky hand to your mouth, covering your lips in disbelief. The air you so desperately needed began to slip away from you as breathing became harder.

From behind, your mother approached and held the back of your head into her chest, her arms wrapping around your shoulders.

“Hey, we’re right here Cas.” There was nothing anybody could do but comfort him. Dean could barley speak himself.

The oozing began to worsen. This was how he would die. His eyes were blank regardless of the fact they were open. Like he was checked out into a painful land.

“We’re right here buddy.” Sam added in.

Just as you thought the end was approaching, a bright blue light took over the room around you. It’s source radiating from behind you all. The light wrapped around Cas, taking him into its warm glow.

When it was all over you took in the sight before you. An angel. No wounds. No rot.

“Cas!” Your arms laced together around his neck, still being careful not to hurt him. Just in case.

Everybody’s heads turned around to be greeted with a sight nobody thought they’d ever see. Before you all stood a very fine Crowley.

“The magic’s in the craftsmanship.” Just before he left he turned and finished. “Oh, you’re welcome.” And just like that the Boy King was gone.

The five of you left, but there was something off. Something you couldn’t shake. A feeling of being lied to, wronged. And you didn’t understand it.

****

Everybody had gone back to the hotel, except your mother. Who had been staying at a different one.

Both of your brothers were driving in Baby, Mary in a separate car, while you drove the truck and Cas rode shotgun.

Of course you were questioned when you strayed from the route to the hotel.

“Y/n, where are we going?” Cas was speaking normally again, but with that bit of confusion in his voice. It was understood.

“I’ve just- you trust me?” You figured you knew the answer, but still.

“Of course, always.” His face was turned towards yours, which was focused on the road ahead.

Without warning you accelerated, not wanting to loose Mary’s car which had turned into a parking lot.

The two of you sat in the truck, from an unseen distance of course. She was talking to someone. He looked familiar. The moment you saw something- something you thought had been long lost, you hopped out of the truck and began storming into the building.

The door swung open, the little bell resting on the inside ringing violently.

“Y/n!” She must’ve been surprised to see you. Cas was right behind you, sharing an equally surprised and disappointed look.

“Cas?” All it took was his name being spoken from your lips.

He walked forward, placing a hand on the Colt and taking it into his grasp. The man you had no trust for didn’t try a thing. Seen your hand on the gun hidden from sight. Without another word you stormed out of the diner and back to the truck.

“Y/n!” A voice called from behind you, but you simply ignored it. “Y/n, wait!”

A scoff came from you.

Wait? Wait for what? To hear some bullshit story as to why you nearly got us all killed so you could steal something for that prick in there?” This was what Ramiel had said was his. And she just stood there, prepared to let you all die for it.

“Please, I can explain.” An unamused and sarcastic smile was on your lips as she spoke her words.

“Yeah well you might want to make it quick.” You swallowed hard, trying to down the lump in your throat.

“I lied. About helping Wally.” You wanted to interrupt badly, yell, but you waited for a reason. “For them. The British- I’ve been working for them for awhile now. And we’ve saved a lot of people.”

With everything in your body you clenched the power into your fists. Trying to stop yourself from blowing up on her.

“I knew if I said it was for me there’d be questions. Questions I couldn’t answer.” A sympathetic look was being held in her eyes, but you couldn’t care less.

“So then what? You lie? To get us on some suicide mission? You almost- Cas was on the brink of death. We were all being threatened and had no way to defend ourselves whatsoever. Nothing, mom.” A sharp exhale of breathe left your shaking body before you continued. “When he said to give it to him, you should’ve.”

“I couldn’t loose it for them. You have to understand that, Y/n.” Her hand reached forward to touch your cheek but you only pushed it away.

“Understand what? How you chose some half assed deal over your kids?” The lump in your throat only grew, making it harder to speak.

“Sometimes, you have to do what’s necessary…” you’d heard enough.

Every muscle in your body lunged forward as your right fist connected with the side of her face. Your ring cutting her cheek. Before you you could swing again two masculine arms wrapped around your body in a bear hug.

“It’s over, Y/n. Walk away.” Castiel held on tightly, your rage made you stronger than you’d ever been.

Your own mother had betrayed you. All of you. But this was far from over. It was just beginning.

ok but look at alec’s face. he’s so in love with magnus. magnus just showed him his cat eyes. which is something about himself he can’t change but has been a source of pain. i mean his mother took her life bc he was a warlock, and while alec knows magnus is a warlock and what his warlock mark is, he’s also never seen it. he could look disguhsted, instead he looks curious and then smiles instantly. this was so well done. there is literally nothing about magnus that alec doesn’t love. he doesn’t hold his past against him, because it has made him into the man he is today. the caring, compassionate, loving, understanding man he is, that alec loves. he doesn’t hold the fact he’s had many lovers, because he has trusted magnus from day one, and magnus has given him no reason not to. he’s been open about his past relationships, and that’s why alec trusts him. he’s open about camilie, and others.

 alec is finally happy, in a healthy relationship with someone he truly loves. i’ll never get the people who look at this face, and how he looks at magnus and think “he needs to date other people to figure out what he wants” like this boy has figured it out and its magnus

sorry this post took a random turn i just love and miss these dorks sfm 

anonymous asked:

I finally found time to start watching VLD this weekend and when Shiro heard Keith say "patience yields focus" I teared up. I think I've fallen hard for those two. I did not expect to get as invested as I have haha

Aw yes!!! I really love this part too. Because you can tell it’s not just advice for Keith–it’s something he uses as a grounding technique. When he’s really stressed and struggling to stay calm, it helps to take a deep breath, close his eyes, and just recite those words of comfort. It’s so he can focus, but it also helps keep him anchored when he’s really overwhelmed or distressed. 

It’s reassuring, calming. Of course, we know just how much Keith struggles with his overflow of emotion. And this stems directly from his galra side:

  • Joaquim: “[Keith’s] got this emotional side to him.”
  • Lauren: “It’s kind of exasperated by the fact that Shiro’s gone. Like he’s having a hard time dealing with it, he doesn’t really know how to feel. And I think he just goes back to that inner part of himself where it’s just—he can’t control his emotions. And that comes from the galra side.” (source)

And for a young galra like Keith–someone who lived outside of galra society, who was never exposed to vital coping methods and had no real outlet to channel all this emotion–I imagine that must’ve really hurt his mental health. So the fact that Shiro is the only one that can really soothe that pain, that he helps Keith find a way to center himself and Keith really holds those words close to his heart–it really demonstrates just how much Shiro means to him. And of course, this is further underscored by the fact that it’s only Shiro who was ever really able to anchor him. No one else. 

  • Joaquim: “He latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep in check.” (source)

Keith really treasured those words because I don’t think he ever really had anyone else willing to help him. “Shiro’s the only one who never gave up on me, I won’t give up on him.” Shiro was the only one who stopped and cared, who take the time to calm Keith down and reach out to him when no one else would. And when Shiro is surprised but nevertheless touched like this, when he smiles and says, “That really stayed with you, didn’t I?” Keith flat out tells him, “If it wasn’t for you, my life would have been a lot different.” Shiro’s struck by the fact that Keith actually remembered, is completely endeared by that. But Keith takes it a step further and let’s Shiro know he literally changed his life. Of course he remembered. 

When Shiro spoke, I’m sure he hung onto every word. And in those long, lonely nights in the desert pouring over frantic notes and ancient carvings, isolated from everybody and losing hope–reciting those words may well have been the only source of comfort he had 

Anyway, welcome aboard lmao. These two made me way more emotional than I ever thought they would too 

Jay Park - Circles

Originally posted by shwaybum

Inspired by G.Soul - Circles

You knew the ending— it always ended like this. Even though you knew how it would turn out, no matter how hard you tried to escape, eventually you always went back to him. Even after everything he had done, all the lies he had told, and the scars he left on your broken soul, you just couldn’t walk away.

You held onto that little glimmer of hope that things would turn out differently this time, that all the suffering and fighting wouldn’t be in vain; that it was worth it, because what you two had was special. However, after one argument was settled, another one took its place. If was an endless cycle you both were trapped in.

However, today you had made up your mind. You wanted to end it this time, once and for all. That was really the last time you had forgiven him. You wouldn’t do it again, you swore to yourself. You would stay strong and you wouldn’t waver.

~*~

“Technically I never lied to you,” he pointed out with an even voice, as if he was stating a universally valid fact. You stared at him full of disbelief as you let out a short chortle.

“Are you really doing this right now?” You knew he would defend himself at all costs, wanting to prove that he did nothing wrong. You knew he would try to justify his actions. Nonetheless, you still hoped he would lower his pride and show you that he cared about you. You knew it was foolish, but you couldn’t help it. You desperately wanted him to prove you wrong, to prove you that breaking up with him was the wrong decision. But with his actions, he only solidified your presentiments. At least this way, it would be easier to break up with him, you thought.

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I think it’s significant that Oda chose to insert this small panel of Sanji breathing heavily after yelling at Judge he isn’t his father. Just like he told Judge Sanji has put his past with the Vinsmokes firmly behind, but it’s still extremely emotionally draining for him to confront the person who is the very source of his trauma. The fact that Sanji still looks pained even after distancing himself from his past a humongous step further is very telling of how human he is, just like what his mother would’ve wanted from him. This may not be the last pained face he makes because of his family, but let’s hope that he let go of most of the burden he was carrying along with those heavy breaths, so that he’d be finally ready to smile when his arc comes to an end.  

Tell Me (Tell Me) | Jimin

⇢3.8k 

⇢Two years without closure, yet here the both of you were on the chopping block, question after question about things that were better left unknown.

Originally posted by sosjimin

You knew you were fucked the moment you walked through those doors of your best friend’s bachelorette party to see the one person you swore to never see again. Two years was a long time, but was proving to be not long enough as the dull ache in your chest grew increasingly painful the closer you got to the dark eyed, tall, black-haired man, the only man that could reel you in only to let all the oxygen leave your soul before tossing you back into the water: Park Jimin.

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laughinginchaos  asked:

Out of all characters, both ally and foe, who do you think has the most emotional and heartbreaking relationship with Batman?

Hands down, Alfred Pennyworth.

I think sometimes Alfred gets sort of taken for granted by fans, because he’s loyally stood by Bruce through so much and we kinda just expect him to always be there, you know? He’s a source of comfort not only for Bruce, but for the readers/viewers; we see Batman experience and witness terrible things, but when the sun rises we know he’s going to home to Alfred and eat a bowl of soup and have his wounds bandaged before drifting off to sleep in a freshly-laundered bed. Alfred provides more than just assistance—he provides normality.  

But beneath the dry humor and the matter-of-fact, prim and proper demeanor, Alfred has endured an extraordinary amount of pain and sadness. IMO, one of the most memorable scenes from Batman: Under the Red Hood is when the Batcomputer’s analysis reveals that Red Hood is without a doubt Jason Todd, and Alfred is so overcome with the revelation that he drops the tray he was carrying. For me, seeing the always-composed Alfred actually drop a tray was absolutely jarring; that brief slip of poise and the horrified, pained look of shock on his face cements that scene in my mind as one of the most important—and most heartbreaking—moments in the Batman mythos. 

Imagine how difficult is must be to watch the boy that you raised since he was eight years leave the Batcave every night and know that it may be the last time you will ever see him alive. Imagine seeing the boy who stood underneath your umbrella at his parents funeral and looked up at you with the sad, troubled expression no child should ever have, the boy held your hand during his childhood and shook it strongly as an adult, the boy who is the closest thing that you have ever had in your life to a son—imagine seeing that boy bleeding and broken and bruised and feeling every injury as vividly as if it had been inflicted upon you, and pushing your own pain to the side and cracking dry jokes as you nurse his wounds when really all you want to do is break down and beg him to never put on the suit again, to never have another night like this. But you don’t, because you’re his stability and you’re his normality and you’re the only thing keeping him sane. And so you continue on, and you help him the best that you can, and no matter what you tell him or what you tell yourself, you both know that your reasons are much more complex than upholding a promise that you made long ago.

For all of its faults, I felt Arkham Origins did an excellent job of illustrating Alfred and Bruce’s relationship. And there’s one more scene that stands out to me as a significant (and much more subtle) demonstration of Alfred’s love for Bruce. Throughout the Batman Confidential series, Alfred spends countless hours tirelessly working on the Batcomputer (with Bruce repeatedly requesting that he work faster), which he has nicknamed “Dupin”. When Bruce flies into a rage after his girlfriend is stabbed by the man who would later become Joker, he is so overcome with anger that he blindly destroys Dupin. When surveying the destruction of his hard work, Alfred reacts by calmly stating “sir, that was very expensive”. That’s it. A much more extreme reaction would most certainly have been justified, but instead Alfred is as cool and collected as ever, because he understands that Bruce isn’t just upset over his girlfriend—he’s upset over everything that he’s lost throughout his life, everything that he’s sacrificed for Gotham. 

And don’t even get me started on the ending of The Dark Knight Returns.

Alfred is the one constant in Bruce’s life, and serves a much more important purpose than I think many fans give him credit for. Out of all the tragedies in Batman history, I think Alfred’s love for Bruce ranks among the most tragic. 

tl;dr I HAVE A LOT OF ALFRED FEELINGS

Love fades as stars do||Oneshot

Originally posted by visual-17

Vernon x Reader

Genre: Angsty angsty angst

Love seems eternal but it fades as stars do.


He remembers when he first set his eyes on you, you walked right past him and he swore his life flashed before his eyes and he saw you in it. You remember when you first saw him your heart skipped a beat as you walked past him, you walked slow enough to take in his features and your heart dropped. You knew right then and there that he was the one.

He never believed in love at first sight and you were a test to prove him wrong and you did. You never believed in a soulmate, a one and only, until he proved that anything is possible.

He adored the way you felt under his fingertips, you loved how he’d get lost in his music. He loved how the little moles all over your body were scattered around like constellations, you adored how the little dimple on the left side of his face formed when he smiled. He adored how you would play with his hair and leave warm imprints along his being with your hands, you loved how he would slide his hands into yours and wrap his arms around you engulfing your being with his.

You were the epitome of a love struck couple, you had the type of love anyone could have ever desired…..but love fades just as stars do, suddenly and all at once, and love turns into nothing.

He remembers when you first said I love you, those words were like music to his ears he could hear you repeat those word for the rest of his life. You remember when he first said I love you, it was before you had said it out loud to him and he was in a tired and sleepy state. Your hands were playing with his hair, he hummed silently and then let it out and you swore you’d let him know you felt the same way.

But it wasn’t enough.

You both refused to see it coming until it finally did and when it did boy did you both lose it.


He had never felt as much pain as he did when he saw you; tears running down your face, hair disheveled and unsteady breathing. He often asked himself why he had to let you go, why he had to go and break your heart for. He broke his heart too.

You asked yourself too. Why? Why did he go and do that for? You never thought you could feel as much pain as you did when you saw him; standing there, face serious and a weak attempt to keep a steady stance, his voice quivering as he spoke to you.

It was hard for the both of you, needing to give each other up just like that. You promised each other that when it was time to let go you’d both understand because it was going to be hard.

It hurt, it hurt you a lot. Love and pain should never be related and you understood why they weren’t a common pair.

It hurt him, it hurt him a lot. Being the source of his loves pain hurt, he dreaded the fact he was the source of the pain.

You were angry with him, your heart was demolished into tiny pieces. All that you could bring yourself to say was,“Why?”

He couldn’t bring himself to say a thing.

“Tell me because I don’t understand why, why do you want to leave, why when I love you more than anything.”

He was angry with himself, his heart fell at his awareness of your words.

“Y/N….” he promised he wouldn’t hurt you ever. You promised you wouldn’t either.

“It’s too much.” He forced himself to say, it wasn’t too much at all. It was actually not enough.


He remembers when he told his mother about you, he couldn’t stop smiling. She could tell way before he could that he was completely and utterly in love with you.

“Hansol son don’t let her go. A pure love is hard to find and that girl loves you for you, love is more important than the fame and those who say it’s better to avoid it because what’s life without love?”

You remember when you called and told your mother about him, you were gushing about him. She was ecstatic, you were struck in the heart and she knew you had found the one despite your cool and cautious approach.

“Y/N honey allow yourself to love, a true love only comes once in your life and you’ll regret it if you don’t embrace it. Because what’s life without love?”

You remember when you first met his managers and the boys, you couldn’t help but be a bit worried and overwhelmed they were so many to leave a good impression on. The boys couldn’t help but adore you, you made their boy whole. He remembers when he told the boys and his managers about you. He was worried and cautious that they’d drive you apart. The boys were overjoyed they’d never seen their cool and collected Hansol talk about anyone like this before. His managers were touched too yet warned him that you two could possibly be driven apart.

But he didn’t listen he thought they were insane and he wanted to believe that your love could withstand anything. And when you started getting hurt because of him he realized that what his managers had warned him about wasn’t insane.


“I’m scared all the time I love you so much but it never seems like enough.” Your hands shook as his voice quivered with every word he said.

“I feel alone all the time Hansol but I’d rather be alone than lose you. I’d be nothing without you. So let’s not, let’s not be apart.”

“I watch time and time again as you get hurt and by me nonetheless. It hurts me that you feel like this I’ll leave it all for you, the fame.”

“I can’t be selfish enough to do that to you.” He took your hands in his but you drew them away. The tears never seemed to stop falling from your face.

“I can’t live without you but I have too if I don’t want to see you keep getting hurt.” He was pained, this was it. His first love, his soulmate, he had to let go.

You look up at the stars so beautiful and so bright. Just like the love you two held. He looks up at the stars, they weren’t shining as bright as they usually did they were dull reflecting how they love you two held was.


Authors note: This is one of my favorite pieces I’ve written so far, I have a thing for angst if you guys couldn’t tell. Also thank you guys for over 100 notes on my recent piece I’m glad you guys enjoyed it!

anonymous asked:

Hello! Sorry to bother, I just want to say that I love this blog, and if you maybe know what his time in prison and after was like for lafayette cause I found some fairly contradicting texts and I'm confused. Thank you for your time!

Hello, Nony. 

Gilbert’s imprisonment always grieves my heart. It’s a story very few people know about. I’ll try to make some sense of it here from what I’ve gathered from multiple books and sources. Part of the miscommunication lies in the fact that Lafayette’s captors moved him to different prisons to prevent possible friends of the Frenchman from discovering his location. Lafayette didn’t write about his own experience until much later and his first-hand account is not only subject to his age, but is touched on with such brevity that it made me wonder if it was a topic he wanted to avoid discussing in great length. Lafayette, when remembering later, often went into painful amounts of detail…down to what colors people were wearing. The account of his imprisonment in his memoirs touch more on episodes within that time that broke up the monotony: his escape attempt, his wife’s arrival, etc. All that to say, I’ll do my best and as I do more research, I may have to go back and edit later.

  • From bad to worse. – The first real prison stay for Lafayette was at Wesel. Better treatment was offered if he would swear to renounced republicanism. Lafayette ardently refused. His Prussian captors also plied him for any information they could get regarding French military secrets and tactics. Again, he was silent. The authorities then transferred Lafayette to Magdeburg where he was imprisoned for about a year. Here, he later described being ‘doomed to moral and bodily decay.’ By one account, the cell he was held in was about 4 ft. wide and 8 ft. tall. He suffered in the cold, dark, and damp. There was no sunlight in the cell, and guards stood on constant watch. His spirits dampened, Lafayette nonetheless continued to refuse offers of better treatment in exchange for abandoning his principles. 
  • Losing hope. After his time in Magdeburg, he was briefly moved to Neisse, still under Prussian supervision. His friends and family were completely in the dark as to his fate. No one had been told where he was being kept. It was as if he’d fallen off the face of the earth and he was left to fear for his family without word. To add to his misery, he contracted a fever that nearly killed him. In Unger’s book, Lafayette (which I haven’t read in full yet), he describes how Lafayette gradually grew dangerously despondent. “Lafayette believed his captors were planning his secret execution–that he would simply disappear and no one would know where or when. He found a sliver of wood, moistened it, and dipped it in soot to write his last words: ‘Adieu, then, my dear wife, my children, my aunt…whom I shall cherish to my last breath.’”
  • Hell.  Olmütz, where Lafayette spent four years incarcerated, was situated in Austrian held territory. He arrived on May 17, 1794. It was not a prison, but a dungeon equal to anything you’ve seen on TV. Once again, Unger paints a pretty dismal picture. “The prison was part of the city wall over the Morawa River, which carried the city sewerage and filled the prison above it with a suffocating stench and swarms of disease-carrying mosquitoes and flies. Lafayette…[was] chained in solitary confinement…forbidden to talk, in rags, and with no personal possessions.” They gave him and the two other French officers with him numbers and did not address them by name. If memory serves, Lafayette was State Prisoner #2. He was not given a chamber pot and had to eat with his hands in such filth. Bathing was also prohibited.
  • Escape? The fever Lafayette had spawned in Magdeburg had not left him by the time he moved to Olmütz and gradually grew worse. As his health deteriorated, a doctor was finally called for. This doctor, as luck would have it, was a part of an escape organized by many friends of the ailing Frenchman, including Angelica Church (formerly Schuyler). The doctor brought with him a note detailing the scheme. Lafayette used his own blood to write a reply and sent the physician on his way. The doctor demanded that Lafayette be allowed outside from time to time and the authorities eventually complied. During one of these outings, two of the conspirators burst from the woods. A skirmish broke out. One of the guards tackled Lafayette and bit his finger so badly that he nearly lost it. He managed to scramble away, hopped on a horse, and took off. Adorably (and unfortunately), he misunderstood his accomplices’ English and went to the wrong town. Believing himself to be in friendly territory, he announced his identity and need to a farmer…who promptly sold him out to the authorities. Lafayette was immediately arrested and dragged back to prison.
  • Lockdown. Lafayette’s memoirs describe the punishment for his escape best. “Lafayette was put in irons, and suffered the most excruciating torture. He was in a feeble state, overcome by fatigue, and suffering greatly from the bruises and wounds received in his late attempt to escape. His anxieties, his anguish (and despair we may almost say,) at finding himself again in the power of his unrelenting jailor, so affected his nerves, that his fever returned with increased and alarming violence. In this state he was allowed nothing but a little damp and mouldy straw; irons were put round his feet, and round his waist was a chain, fastened to the wall, which barely permitted him to turn from one side to the other. No light was admitted into his cell; and he was refused even the smallest allowance of linen.” “Worn down by disease and the rigour of the season, his hair fell from his head, and he was emaciated to the last degree. To these physical distresses were soon super added those mental anxieties, which perhaps, were still more difficult to endure.” After some time–and influence from friends abroad–he was unchained from the wall and allowed to walk one hour a day. No one was allowed to speak to him.
  • Adrienne saves his life. Two years in, Adrienne arrived with their daughters, Virginie and Anastasie, and refused to leave during her husband’s confinement. One of his girls wrote later: "We got out at the house of the commandant of the city. We did not see him. He sent the officer who was charged with keeping the prison, to conduct us. After we had gone through the first gate we passed down long corridors to two padlocked doors that opened into my father’s room. ‘I don’t know,’ my mother said the night before, ‘how I can support what we are going to feel.’ My father had not been notified of our coming. He had been given no letter at all from my mother. Three years of imprisonment, the last passed in complete solitude (for since his attempt at escape he had not seen his servant), anxiety for all he loved, sufferings of all kinds, had deeply affected his health. The change in his looks was frightening. My mother was hard hit by it; but nothing could diminish the delirium of her joy except the bitterness of her irreparable losses. My father, after the first happiness of reunion, did not dare to ask any questions. He knew of the reign of terror in France, but he did not know the names of the victims. The day passed without his daring to question her concerning his fears or her being able to muster strength to tell him. Only in the evening, after my sister and I had been shut into the next room, not connected, did she tell my father that she had lost on the scaffold, her grandmother, her mother, and her sister.’

Lafayette and his family were released on September 19, 1797. What happened afterwards will have to be a post for another time. I’ll try to get that together as soon as possible. As to the conflicting reports you might have gone over, it’s because very few people were actually able to contact Lafayette or his family. I hope this shed some light on things. I’m crying now. Dear me. 

anonymous asked:

What if Yuu and Mika swapped bodies...?

Mika would lock himself somewhere to protect Yuu’s body meanwhile Yuu would spend the whole day jumping to high places and using Mika’s vampire powers for fun…

Or

Mika’d go crazy because it’d be going from a vampire body that’s losing his emotions to a human one that has them and that’d probably make him go mad?
Yuu too. Mika starves himself and bears lots of pain daily apart from the fact that he’s losing his human emotions.
Yuu wouldn’t be able to bear all of that.
Either he’d attack the first source of blood he senses or writhe from pain.

anonymous asked:

Hey Matty :) Questions about the Predator (if you don't mind answering ofc ^^: How will Oliver interact with Felicity in private once they embrace their feelings for each other ? Will he be gentle and demonstrate his feelings? Or will he continue to maintain a cold and intense posture?Btw how can he be so teasing in texts and not face to face?xD that confuses me lol Did Oliver ever fall in love in his past? Or is this new territory for him?Thx for your time :)

Good lord, so many questions, anon! 

Forget been in love, Oliver Queen has never loved anybody in The Predator. For twenty years, he’s been surrounded with people - people who trained him, people who fear him, people whom he is loyal to - but he’s never let anyone get even slightly close to him. His isolation has been on choice (maybe a form of punishment or what he thinks he deserves…) 

Dante and Amara, while can be considered closest to him in a lot of ways, are still not close to him. They know of his past, they know of his growing up, but it’s never been something he’s shared with them. Oliver Queen does not share feelings (which is what makes that rainy night against the glass window and his “did I hurt you?” so very unique…) They learned what they did from other sources. But they know he considers them good only by the fact that he allows them to be by his side, allows them to show him some form of affection if they wish, allows them into his house - a place that is sacrosanct to him. 

He’s isolated himself completely from any emotional interaction. He’s withdrawn himself into a tight ball of pain and self-hatred that he never allows to unravel. All he lets out, only to a known few, is the rage. Keeping up his mask, his facade, has become first nature to him. His instinct is to not feel, to not let it show, to never let anybody guess that he’s capable of not only feeling but he also has a weak spot. 

Her name is Felicity Smoak.

From the moment she smiled her toothless grin at him to the moment she looked at him with fire in her eyes and curses on her lips, Oliver Queen has known deep inside that she is his one weak spot. And he’s worked very, very hard to hide it because if she finds out, she could exploit it - the same way every person who’s known a weakness in him has exploited it. 

I won’t say much about what happens next, except enjoy the ride because it will be bumpy and messy and real. When they do come together (which will take time because Oliver has to prove he’s not manipulating her and Felicity has to prove that she won’t exploit his weakness - trust comes very, very, very hard to both of them and while they may have taken baby steps, there’s still a long way to go), it will be… interesting.

I don’t think this Oliver can ever be anything less than intense, even when he’s truly, madly, absolutely, I-ll-fucking-move-heaven-and-earth-to-make-her-smile-that-smile, I-ll-kill-anyone-who-ever-threatens-to-take-her-from-me, I-ll-make-her-feel-safe-and-free-and-so-love-she-ll-never-be-alone-again love.

He’ll be gentle in a lot of ways when they’re in private, but the intensity of his personality will not diminish. Nor would Felicity want it to. She’ll fall in love with him, intensity and all, and she’ll want that. By that point, she’ll want the wild bites on her neck that are natural to him - but she’ll know he loves her when he licks them softly afterward, a simple gesture he’d never do otherwise. She’ll want the mindless fucking against that window - but she’ll know he loves her when he picks her up and carries her to his bed and ravishes her softly the whole night. She’ll want heated fights - but she’ll know he loves her when he’ll quietly sit behind her on the floor in the dark, watching the rain as she’ll lean into him, nuzzling her hair and whispering, “Did I hurt you?”

He’ll never be flowery or sweet, maybe. But she doesn’t need that. She knows him, even now, better than anyone. She reads him better than anyone. He knows that. While he will give her overt words at some point, mostly, his gestures, his actions will tell her, and that’s how she’ll know they’re true. 

She wants it all. She wants him.

Just as he wants her. He wants her to be grumpy with him like she’s never been allowed to be with anyone else. He wants her to threaten to kick his ass while planting his face with kisses. He wants her to moan in delight when he cooks something good for her, and then kiss that moan off her lips. He wants her soft body cuddled next to his at night even as he sleeps with a gun. 

Oliver will never be mushy. The world he lives in, even in their private bubble, will never allow him to let himself be that soft. That’s just not who he is. Felicity will be, after a point. Because she wants to be. She wants someone with whom she can be completely herself, be all soft and cute and adorable, and still feel safe and protected and completely loved.   

And love and cherish and protect her he will.

You can check out more of my thoughts about Oliver in love under The Predator tag.

Reveling in Richonne

#96: The “Somebody Important to You” (7x16)

So in one half-season we saw both what Michonne would look like if she lost Rick and what Rick would look like if he lost Michonne. 😥

Now TWD, imma need this to be a sign that we are never going to have to actually see them lose each other and that’s why we saw these reactions since we’ll never have to see them again, okay? 😬 (Lol, a girl can dream.)

But for real this whole scene was gut wrenching. 

Negan has Carl kneeling and Jadis has brought Rick over to kneel right next to him. Here is our main character and his son surrounded by a psycho and his men, in the same physical position they were in at the start of the season. It’s a horrible predicament to say the least.

It’s interesting cuz, no joke, before I even knew about the deleted scene I was like dang I wish we could have seen Carl and Rick talk earlier in this episode just to see where they were at or what their thought process on all this had been before the fight broke loose.

Now knowing about the interaction in the deleted scene this moment becomes even more devastating. Cuz Carl was low key ready for this. 😭

And as Negan does his signature thing of speaking every thought that comes to his mind, Carl’s savage side make him bold enough to tell Negan just how he feels. 

I for one was here for it cuz Carl is so through with Negan and I respect that even in this vulnerable position he’s not afraid to let Negan know he doesn’t faze him. And I just appreciate that Carl’s not giving up all hope yet. 👏🏽 

(Side note: It’s cute the way Rick looks up at Negan and then at Carl like he’s taking in how his son is one fearless kid)

So Negan tells Carl it’s over and to look out and see just how much they have lost this fight. And as Rick and Carl look around they see, in real time, them “lose” their invaluable family member as they believe they’ve just seen and heard Michonne fall from a balcony.

And y’all, this is how you know you’re a good actor. When the whole audience can know for certain that the woman who fell was not Michonne and yet when we see your reaction we get emotional and allow ourselves to at least imagine that it could’ve been her just because of the expression on your face. The man is a revelation I tell you. 🙌🏾💯

Rick’s reaction was so heartbreaking to watch. The fact that Rick physically folds when he thinks he’s just seen Michonne fall. 😥 It’s almost like he was falling with her.

Originally posted by matthew-the-neko-boy

Just the sincere pain in that look. Like in one fall he just lost his source of everything. Throughout these posts I’ve described Michonne as being Rick’s source of strength, peace, stability, positivity, security, and sanity. And he just lost all of that. 😥

It’s also interesting how much this moment parallels the moment in “Say Yes”. Like both fell from a high up place and just like Michonne in 7x12, you see the fight briefly leave Rick’s body.

The fact that Rick’s reaction is so telling that even Negan could tell he just lost somebody really important to him. It’s too much. 😭

We all know how Rick looks at Michonne different than anyone else and so of course Negan could tell from Rick’s look that whoever just fell is someone that Rick deeply cares about.

I feel like for Negan to notice and verbally address how Rick’s reaction was clearly in regards to someone special is such a confirmation that R&M’s love is extremely deep and visible, even to outsiders.

Again it makes me wonder how much Negan has put together about just the idea that Rick might have a significant other. Like by phrasing it that way did he think it was a woman Rick has a relationship with or just some important friend? Idk. All I know is Negan saying Rick just lost “somebody important to you” is an understatement lol.

Carl’s reaction is sad too cuz he just doesn’t want it to be real. Like as fearless as Carl is, you see him lose some of that fight too.

I think about how drawn to Michonne Carl was when he was young and how she really did become his closest friend and now he thinks he’s lost the person who seemed to get him most of all.

I feel like to have this moment where Rick and Carl see her fall really cements how much she is their matriarch. Like it felt like they were watching an immediate family member fall. 

She was the one speaking life into them earlier that day and now they think they’ve seen her life be taken so it’s like their hope has been taken as well.

And it’s interesting that despite everything else going on, it’s this moment of thinking they’ve lost her that seems to be when Rick and Carl both really feel dejected and it hits them just how bleak things might be. 

Rick and Carl have been through so much with Michonne right by their side and she’s a huge reason why they’re even alive. She’s become such a central piece to their family and she also means so much to Rick and Carl individually, so you can visibly see how losing her has devastated them and made the situation that much more dire to them. 

It’s interesting cuz you can tell Negan is not Rick’s initial focus after the fall. 

Originally posted by mr-mad-observer

Like Negan is all in his face, taunting him, and you can see that his words aren’t even registering at first, as Rick is preoccupied with trying to even wrap his mind around the fact that his wife might have just been killed.

That’s how you know what R&M have is powerful stuff cuz even Negan being in his face isn’t enough to pull him out of this shaken state at first.

And then as Rick’s forced to focus back on Negan you can see him also mustering the strength to be in that moment rather than freeze like he’d want to.

Like think about if Alexandria were to lose Rick, they would probably feel pretty disoriented and lost and hopeless cuz they lost their leader. Rick feels all of these things because he thinks he’s just lost his own leader.

I think Rick’s talk with Michonne in 7x12 really has a role in this moment. Cuz I think he absolutely felt the same light turn off for him as it did for her. Like you can see him briefly be just as dazed and lost as she was.

But because of their van talk he was reminded to put his words into action and try and make it “not about us anymore”.

You can just tell that this was not the route he imagined things going. Again, I really think when he told Michonne “I can lose you”, he meant it as in “We can both not make it or I could not make it.” But a scenario where she goes and he doesn’t? He doesn’t look like he was ready for that.

And then the tear. 😥 I cannot with the tear, y'all. 

Originally posted by thewdead

Like Rick thinks he’s just lost the love of his life and now Negan is all blabbing in his face and you see those tears welling in his eye and then, as Negan says what he plans to do next, that single tear falls and I’m telling you I cannot. 😭😭 

This is really the face of a man who thinks he’s about to lose everything he holds dear and the two people who have the hugest parts of his heart (apart from Judith) in a matter of minutes.😥

So already looking like a shell of who he was, something triggers in him and he’s able to tap into the emergency bank of strength he needs to let Negan know he’s still got the wrong one. 👏🏽

Like you can visibly see the shift when Rick becomes hardened and it’s like you get a glimpse of the empty bloodthirsty person he’d become if he had lost Carl and Michonne in this moment.

Originally posted by the-walking-dead-art

It was interesting that Rick says, “You can do it right in front of me”, Which I assume meant kill Carl? And at first I was like…

But then I realized as far as Rick knows this is it. He literally can’t do anything to stop Negan from taking Carl in this moment and so to him it’s inevitable that he’s about to lose his son rn. And I think he says this line for two reasons. 

One; to not give Negan the satisfaction of begging cuz he knows how that goes from the last time Negan had him kneeling. If he begged and pleaded and wept it would all be in vain cuz nothing was going to change Negan’s mind. But there’s also another element to this that I thought about.

Two; If this is going to be that last thing Carl sees I think Rick knows Carl wouldn’t want his final moment to be watching his dad fall apart and beg and plead. 

Like Carl has always been this little G that sometimes wanted his dad to be more of a G like him. Even in this moment Carl is quite composed and I think he would prefer seeing his dad dishing out some signature OG Rick Grimes one last time than to see him just be broken down and begging to stop something he couldn’t stop.

And if Rick can’t stop it from happening then he at least wants Negan to know that once he goes through with this, Negan’s fate is even more sealed than before. Like it becomes signed, sealed and delivered that Rick will kill Negan cuz he has less to lose now. And Homeboy has a great track record of keeping his promises. 

Losing Michonne and Carl are what would kill Rick more so than actually literally killing him and so if Rick’s a dead man walking he’ll just commit his life to making sure Negan doesn’t live another day.

I think once again that use of “can” made Rick’s line about Carl sound different than it’s intention. Cuz Rick is so obviosuly not saying “Go ahead. You can do it and I’ll be fine.” He’s just acknowledging that Negan is going to do this right in front of him. Like it’s going to happen. And because Negan literally can do it right in front of him since nothing is stopping him, Rick wants it to be clear, not that Negan has permission to do it, but that the minute he does it Rick will make personally sure he’s the one to cut Negan’s life short.

Rick’s whole speech to Negan and telling him nothing is going to stop him cuz “You’re all already dead” was so perfectly delivered. 👏🏽 You just felt the intensity, seriousness, and certainty of his words.

It’s literally painful as you see Carl try and stay strong as he just waits for the hit and seeing Rick brace for the fact that he’s seconds away from losing his son, the one who has been driving him since day one. 

And then, just when all seems lost, you know how that common popular old saying goes; “Saved by the tiger.” Hallelu! 👏🏽😋

Originally posted by soopke

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Head Canon for a Modern AU Hungry Like a Wolf

*He’s found himself distracted from his writing and in a deep depression since his mother’s passing

*He is in town seeking a peaceful and quiet place to complete his book, away from family dramatics

*The book is about a injured Iraqi war veteran combating PTSD

*He is fast approaching his novel’s deadline, his publishers are breathing down his neck. The worst part of his day is reading his email

*He has always been fascinated with the military, the fact that his twisted legs and his disease have prevented him from following in his father’s footsteps, is a great source of pain for him

*People often mistakingly assume he is an injured vet, when hearing of the subject which he writes

*When Ragnar died, he had to drop out of college with a semester left. The chaos that followed Ragnar’s death had prevented him from going back to finish

*He lives off inheritance, yet lives modestly and knows the value of a dollar

*He chain smokes to calm his nerves

*He works out to relieve stress, his psychiatrist suggested it

*He has a two pot a day coffee habit

*He recently started taking low dose antidepressants

*He smokes cannabis to help him sleep at night

*He knows he really shouldn’t drink, but he has moments of weakness. Alcohol brings too many bad things to the surface, especially after Sigurd’s death

*Ever since their mother’s death, his relationship with his brothers has been fractured

*He is very self sufficient, stubbornly so even, downright refusing help from others

*He comes across as brash and has a quiet arrogance about him

*He is very good at hiding the fact that he is in constant pain

*His pain prevents him from using his crutches often, his chair is much more efficient

*He absolutely cannot cook

*He has never been in a relationship, but he is by no means inexperienced

*Women always seem to be attracted to him, that is… until he opens his mouth

*He would never admit how very, very lonely he truly is