The day I moved in with my big bro, I had no idea he was gonna be my bro, or that he was about to change my life. All I knew was he had a sweet pad off campus that I was gonna rent a room in. When I arrived with my stuff, I thought I was hot shit. Tailored jacket, chinos, all that fucking shit. Basically the prep uniform, because I was some fucking prep who thought I knew what’s up. I even brought a whole stack of books I had that I thought would impress people with my bullshit “lifestyle”. (Can you believe I used to read? Fuck, I can’t pay attention to the words on a page for any more than 10 seconds now.) Thank Brodin my big bro saved me and showed me the way. The next morning I woke up stripped down to my underwear, with all my crap gone. I was pretty mad at my roommate but there was nothing I could do about it without any clothes on. So when he offered his baller shorts and a pair of sneakers in my size, I had no other choice but to put them on. And when I realized how fucking sweet jock gear feels on you, I knew I would never wear that fucking preppy shit ever again. Cuz I’m a fucking bro, now. I dress like a bro. Lift like a bro. Play ball like a bro. Shoot the shit like a bro. Fuck like a bro. Join us, bro.
“Quick, guys, how do I look?” Oikawa pops into Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s dorm room, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “I finally got Iwa-chan to agree to go on a date.”
Hanamaki takes one look at the gaudy shirt and has to turn his face away. The shirt has ruffles and even if Oikawa is unfairly attractive no one would be able to pull off that abomination. “You look great,” Hanamaki’s sentence tapers off into an exaggerated gag and he slaps a hand over his mouth to contain the metaphorical vomit. “Sorry. Acid reflux disease.”
“Makki.” Oikawa whines.
“No, seriously. I love it. Brings out your eyes.” Makki gags again. “God, I’m sorry, I ate too much spicy food today.”
Oikawa desperately turns to Matsukawa instead who is staring at him with a blank expression. “Mattsun?”
“You look like a fucking croissant.” Matsukawa says without changing expression. Oikawa cries.
“Hey, Oikawa, c’mon.” Hanamaki sighs, “You look good. I love croissants. I eat them with my coffee every morning, they’re really the best pastry-”
“Fuck both of you.” Oikawa continues to sob.
“Listen,” Matsukawa pats his friends back, “It won’t matter what shirt you’re wearing because in the end, it’ll end up on the floor along with your too-tight pants and pointy elf shoes. You look great.”
Hanamaki pushes the still sobbing Oikawa out of their room. “Go get ‘em, tiger.” He says gently as he shuts the door.
“Poor Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa shakes his head forlornly.
Skirt and crop top I brought a kami con from In Control Clothing. Shoes are from cotton candy feet, hand purse and cute planet compact I’m gonna turn into a necklace are from claries, the choker is from etsy shop YPSILONBAGS