in color to bring back life

College Life 101

Alrighty folks, here are some nifty tips on how I survived (and could have better survived) college: 

  • As soon as you have your schedule, email your professors. Everyone. Especially if you have questions about the course, if you’re going to miss, etc. also make sure you do it from your school email, many professors will not check an email if it isn’t from a school address. 
  • On move in day, bring a door stop.  moving in is so much easier when you don’t need someone to hold the door for everything. 
  • Shoe racks and command strips/hooks will be your best friend. Use the racks for misc. things like utensils, seasonings, Keurig mixes, hot chocolate, etc. 
  • Bring a whiteboard/corkboard. Write down your classes and anything you need to get done for those classes and make sure that you keep it updated. On the cork side post up papers with important numbers, a map of campus, and other things you get. 
  • SIGN UP FOR ACTIVITIES (ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE ON A SMALL CAMPUS) otherwise you’re not going to have a fun experience. Even if it’s just something you THINK you may have a slight interest in, try it! 
  • Go to one or two sporting events, just for the hell of it
  • Put important dates in your phone calendar or even a planner. Somewhere you will be reminded of them. Times and dates are critical. 
  • Eat. and eat well. 
  • Use chegg, upper classmen, or other resources for textbooks before you buy them. Campus bookstores are astronomically expensive and it can be a lot cheaper going somewhere else. I use Chegg and they also send you free tide pods, coffee samples, etc. 
  • Bring medicine that you’ve used in the last two years, even if you haven’t used it in a while just to be safe. 
  • If you’re gonna do laundry on the weekends Friday and Saturday nights OR Sunday mornings are prime time. Be prepared for staying up late or getting up early to do laundry 
  • PUT. A TIMER. ON. YOUR. LAUNDRY. Seriously, when you have to share a laundry room there is nothing more annoying than someone who won’t move their laundry out for other people. 
  • On a related note DO NOT THROW OTHER PEOPLE’S LAUNDRY ON THE FLOOR. Fold it up, leave it on the dryers or w/e with a little note. Don’t be an asshole. 
  • Keep extra pads and tampons around everywhere you go. Help yourself and/or ya menstruating friends out. 
  • Bring a phone/laptop charger with you throughout the day. I know I personally have some long breaks between my classes where I do homework and w/e
  • Use Google docs for your assignments, or other programs that back up your work to the cloud. My laptop broke halfway through the semester and the only thing that saved me was Google Docs because my school uses gmail
  • Download Groupme. Right now. Do it. It’s a great way to create group chats, keep them in one place, and keep them backed up somewhere, you’re gonna have some for group projects, your dorm, any programs, etc. 
  • Bring a three hole punch, scissors, glue, tape, notecards, and binders. Also get pocketed folders for any important research papers you may need to turn in. 
  • ALSO DRY ERASE MARKERS ARE A LIFE SAVER. bring them around for studying in empty classrooms it’s v helpful
  • COLOR CODE YOUR BINDERS/NOTE BOOKS/STICKY NOTES. Your binder for one class and all its accessories should be one colors. Color organize your notes. (If you’re colorblind, use patterns or something simple for you.) 
  • Try typing up your notes after classes, save them to your laptop and whatever online thing you use. Sometimes you’ll need your notes and you either won’t have your notebook, laptop, or both and it can be very important to keep your notes accessible. 
  • Make use of tutoring services or other students/friends that are good in your classes. C’s get degrees and if people can help you understand it better then WOO
  • Try not to miss too many classes, but if you do make sure you contact your professors about it (or someone in that class.) 
  • Sleep is v important, but can also be too good so set alarms at least a half hour before your classes to get ready and go. 

Take deep breaths. Make friends. Take no shit, do no harm

((These are based off of my personal experiences, feel free to add on if you think of something))

I’m too sentimental. I can’t think back on a memory without feeling like it’s bleeding out of me. All the tender memories drain from me and take my color at night, only for sleep to bring a transfusion. The small things shouldn’t matter so damn much.

anonymous asked:

andreil pda around the foxes pleaseee my soul needs it

my marvelous anon, i am here to grant thine request, with a small side of accidental lowkey renison. enjoy <3. also on AO3.


He did it. He actually did it. After months of constant warnings and threats, Wymack finally followed through.

Neil can do nothing but stare at the flyer in his hand, mildly in fear and majorly in shock. A mere thirty seconds prior, Wymack had stormed out of his office brandishing this piece of paper like both a white flag and a declaration of war. He had paused just inside the lounge, making sure to gather everyone’s attention, before striding over to Neil and shoving the flyer in his face.

“This is for last weekend,” Wymack had said. “I already—don’t give me that look, you know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about. I already signed you up. It starts at 8:00 AM on Saturday, and unless you want your ass glued to the bench for the rest of the season, I suggest you be there.” He had then turned back around and disappeared into the hallway, leaving a room full of confused and curious Foxes in his wake.

A full minute passes before chaos breaks out and everyone starts moving at once. Various forms of “What the hell?” can be heard from all corners of the room. Neil blinks as the flyer is yanked out of his hand. He looks up to see Andrew, his eyes scanning the paper. Andrew looks up at him, and Neil’s heart nearly explodes because this look on his face, it looks like the honest-to-god beginnings of a smile. And sure, it’s at Neil’s expense, but he would embarrass the fuck out of himself at every turn if this was his reward. Andrew moves to hand the paper back to Neil.

“Okay, seriously,” Kevin huffs out with impatience as he pushes through his teammates. He snags the flyer away from Andrew who couldn’t be bothered to stop him. Kevin reads aloud, “The Annual Hilton Head Island Marathon…a MARATHON? Really, Neil?! Is this a joke?”

“I don’t know, Kevin,” says Andrew, his voice taking on the persona of a kindergarten teacher. “Did it look like a joke to you?”

Kevin’s only response is to scowl and shove the flyer into Neil’s chest. “This better not affect your performance at our game on Friday. You don’t get to take it easy just because you have to run 26.2 miles the next day.”

By the time Kevin has stormed out of the building, the rest of the Foxes have commenced their team wide freak out.

“Seriously?! He actually came through on that threat?” Dan is caught halfway between being genuinely worried and dying of laughter.

“Neil…bro…what the fuck…” Matt says from somewhere on his left, placing a consoling hand lightly on his shoulder.

“Oh my god, Neil. We have to be there. I have to witness this historic moment. You finally get to put your insane running habits into practice,” Allison is rambling from across the room.

“Wait, what was Wymack talking about ‘last weekend’? What did you do?” Asks Nicky, unaccustomed to being out of the loop.

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Reasons Why “Kubo and the Two Strings” is the Best Animated Movie of 2016, Regardless of What Fancy Award Shows Say

1. It’s simple enough to reach younger audiences, but dark enough to speak to the older audiences as well.

2. It stares death right in the eyes and says “I accept that you exist and I will not run away from you.”

3. Excellent voice talent. I’m not going to go into the colors of the cast, because this is an animated movie, which means you are looking at animated characters and not who’s behind the microphone. 

4. True dedication, as shown through its gorgeous and pain-staking animation, as well as its true and honest respect for Japanese culture and mythology.

5. Magic, but not the kind that brings people back to life, oh no. The magic of storytelling and memories, and how they both have the power to heal. But there is some real magic in there, too. 

6. Not done for merchandising, but because LAIKA Studios wanted to tell a story.

7. It’s a story that will resonate with people for years to come. 

8. It shows that not every hero or protagonist has to be perfect. They can be disabled, either physically or mentally. 

9. The misfits don’t have to be shunned or made fun of. They can be loved unconditionally and can love back unconditionally. 

10. Men and boys can be gentle, kind, and emotional. They can also be goofy, light-hearted, and extremely loyal. They can be all these things and still be strong. 

11. It was never a revenge story. It’s a story about acceptance and the process of healing. It’s about bravely fighting for yourself and those that you love, not to lay waste to someone who has hurt you.

12. It proves that the act of forgiving is the strongest act there is, and holds more power than any final blow. 

kickstarter

The Dates 2 Kickstarter is live!

Dates is an anthology of queer historical fiction. Last year, we Kickstarted Volume 1, bringing to life a 176 page love letter to queer history. This year we’re back again with even more amazing stories from even more spectacular creators!

Dates 2 is 260+ pages of comics, illustrations, and prose, all full of queer characters from throughout time and across the world. All the comics are finished, and all that’s left to do is raise the money to finish paying our artists and print Dates 2 as a beautiful perfect-bound paperback book, complete with color comic covers and illustrations. You can go back and get raucous in a bar during Hammurabi’s reign, or join a women’s boxing group in the early 1900s as they go ten rounds with the patriarchy. And best of all? There are no tragic endings.

Check out the Kickstarter page for more information, previews, and the great rewards you can get for supporting the campaign. You can also find process work and previews right here at our blog, or at our twitter or facebook page. Even if aren’t able to back the project, a reblog or share can make a real difference.

Thank you SO MUCH!

i’m actually incredibly shocked at the amount of people who heard “dave filoni might be turning ahsoka into a wolf” and jumped to conclusions without thinking.

allow me to introduce The Mortis Theory.

this is the daughter: 

she’s an incredibly powerful force user from the Clone Wars who lived on a planet called Mortis. she pretty much /was/ the light side.

this is the daughter’s other form:

she could turn into a griffin at will. her brother could turn into a gargoyle. it was kind of a Thing with these guys.

While on Mortis, Ahsoka was turned to the dark side by the Son and later killed. The Daughter, dying of a stab wound, offered Ahsoka her life force. this was channeled through Anakin into Ahsoka, bringing her back to life.

this whole ordeal was never addressed again.

not in The Clone Wars, at least.

Ever since I first watched the Mortis arc, I’ve had the theory that Ahsoka gained more than the Daughter’s life force. i think it’s incredibly likely that she gained some of the Daughter’s abilities as well, and those helped her to become the incredibly skilled force-wielder she is today. it might even have helped her survive her fight with vader.

(side note- doesn’t this convor have the same color scheme as seen above? this is the same convor flying around ahsoka’s head shortly before they leave for malachor.)

after Twilight of the Apprentice aired, these cards, drawn by dave filoni, came out. oh, hey, is that a convor?

i’ll let you draw your own conclusions here. also hello, non-wolf ahsoka.

and then we have this.

In conclusion, the Daughter was the personification of the light side, could turn into an animal at will and gave her life force to Ahsoka Tano. now that Ahsoka has that life force, does that mean she can turn into an animal at will? I guess we’ll see. I’m personally not sold but it’s quite possible. In any case, if that wolf is Ahsoka, i seriously doubt she’ll be a wolf all the time. 

Will the Real Shiro (if you are alive) Please Stand UP? Analysis

With the emergence of S4 and people wondering why the “clone” thing hasn’t been brought up again and the fact that S3 and 4′s Shiro is now able to pilot Black, there has been some speculation throughout the fandom on whether THIS Shiro is the actual Shiro, and the one that we had in S1 and 2 was the fake. There have also been speculations on whether neither of them are real and are both clones, with the real Shiro still being held captive.

Now, of course, no one knows for sure, but I recently remarathoned all the seasons in one go with my conspiracy goggles on and I’ve come to a conclusion:

I can’t say whether S1 or 2′s Shiro is the real one, however I’m almost 100% certain that S3 and 4′s isn’t. 

Above are screenshots I took while rewatching the show. I tried to get a cap with the same type of expressions for consistency’s sake (pre-kerberos Shiro was hard to get ofc)

These are the color codes for each of the “different” shiro’s eye color taken from the screenshots. As you noticed, 1 and 2 are fairly close (still different but this could be due to the lighting in the picture leaving some room for error). 3 however, is much different. 

Not only this, but eye shape has always been the main detail people tended to first notice when they speculated that S3-4′s Shiro was a clone, since his eyelashes have a noticeably different look to Shiro’s signature “winged eyeliner” look. In fact, many people have compared S3-4′s Shiro’s eyes as closer to Keith’s eyes…Hm…I wonder what color Keith’s eyes are?

:)

So. Why does it matter if the S3-4′s Shiro’s eyes match Keith’s?

Because Keith is part Galra.

In other words, S3-4′s Shiro is as far away as possible from how the pre-kerberos Shiro looked, and as such, he is the prime candidate for clone speculation.

However…is this the end? Is this where we draw the line? Just because S3-4′s Shiro is probably a clone, does that mean that S1-2′s is real? Keep in mind this is just speculation, however, it really shouldn’t be ignored:

I believe, it might be possible, that both Shiros are clones. 

Here’s why:

If S3-4′s Shiro is a clone, it would explain why his eyes are such a color. Keith mostly likely has the eye color he does due to his Galra genes. If Shiro was cloned, they probably worked with some sort of other cells to work besides just the original Shiro’s, since they would have to make his body function with Galra technology (quintessence/Haggar’s weird ass magic stuff/whatever). Why do I say this? 

Assuming Shiro’s arm is based in science and not magic, and considering that Shiro has to mentally activate the arm and stores information from his brain in it, that means it is biologically connected to Shiro. Usually when attaching a foreign limb, doing an organ transplant, etc, people have a biological component in their genes that accept the foreign entity. This is why people have to be compatible with their donor and/or take medicine after the transplant to make sure their body doesn’t reject it. This means that Shiro has to have some part of him that is Galra in nature or is being given something through his arm that allows him to live with said arm. 

Sure, that explains why S3 and 4′s Shiro is a clone, because of the eyes, but where is the support for S1 and S2′s Shiro being a clone too? 

His hair.

It’s joked that Shiro’s hair went white due to stress that the arena put him through, but think about the “default” hair color of a person’s hair that was exposed to quintessence after dying and that WASN’T Galra by nature?

If Haggar exposed Shiro to quintessence, there is no guarantee that he would have silver hair after the fact. After all, Keith’s hair didn’t turn white when he got sprayed with quintessence. In fact, Haggar’s hair didn’t turn white until she died and then was resurrected with quintessence either. 

Notice the phrasing, until she died.

If quintessence was used on an “unsuccessful” clone of Shiro to bring it back to life, this would explain the white hair. This would explain why the Shiro we know in S1 and 2 has white hair. Because he is a clone that was created using quintessence. It’s also the reason why he is able to use the Galra arm, because of the clone cells in his body.

 In other words, it’s pretty likely that both Shiro’s are clones. Or…the more grim explanation for why S1 and 2′s hair is white…

Our Shiro died long ago and was resurrected with quintessence.

anonymous asked:

Y'know that part of "Kill Jacksepticeye" from 8:24 - 8:28? There's that deep static build up beneath Schneeplestein glitching and Anti messing with him; I dunno why, but I think that's a really Anti-esque thing/effect (???what am i saying???). like it represent his build-up to total control or smth, idk. :P what r some of ur fave anti effects that Robin's used? (from any videos Anti's been in)

I agree with you at that part is a brilliant showcase of Anti affecting/ influencing Doc’s actions and even his own mind. :D

My favorite Anti effects/ glitches done by Robin in videos?… Ho boy.

First thing first- those black demon eyes are AWESOME:

Every time Anti appeared deliberately close to the webcam was very creepy (none of these are cropped; they’re as you see them in their original videos):  

This face layer/ unique color effect/ “3rd eye” is pretty spoopy: 

The whole “double face thing” where we see both Anti and Jack in the webcam are probably some of my favorites ever.

The single black/ blue eye is so cool! :D 

This image that showed up for a single frame (in the PAX Intro) is just awesome to look at by itself. Love the contrast and nice glowy effects: 

Anti has a pattern of reaching out for us (an unnerving 4th wall break in itself)… 

Which we saw continued in “Kill Jacksepticeye”: 

And finally how cool was it to see both Anti and Jack in the same room together (maybe metaphorically speaking)? 

And… We also saw (again?) in “Kill Jacksepticeye”?? (that’s for a different time):

All in all; the colors, effects, and sheer variety of different edits with Anti is truly something to look at. It helps bring to life (along with Jack’s acting) this fictional character that looks and feels real. Every time Anti comes back it’s better than the last- and it’s awesome to see how far Robin has improved and how good he’s gotten at it.

Robin is an evil genius and beast.

He deserves all the praise for all his hard work and effort with these glitches. :D

Lena’s coat game is on POINT. First fuschia and now cobalt? Remember when she mostly wore shades of black and muted shades of maybe green or brown?

And then she met Kara.

I just did a whole lot of research. Like a whole lot. I wanted to know more about Magnus’ magic, specifically the colors and what they mean because of the recent scene from Shadowhunters where Magnus stops Alec’s fist. I FOUND A WHOLE LOT SO PLEASE KEEP READING IT’S ACTUALLY REALLY INTERESTING AND KIND OF HEARTBREAKING.

Magnus always uses blue with Alec. I found that in magic and with just colors in general, blue is the color of communication, peace, protection, sincerity, truth, patience, and spirituality. Blue brings a calm essence in which the truth could come out or provide soft clarity. Blue provides an overall general happiness and it sharpens the power to perceive. 

When Magnus is with Alec, and uses magic to him or in front of him, his color is blue. That’s because Magnus is at peace when he is with Alec. Alec showed Magnus a sharper understanding of what he needs. It represents their growth in communication. The truth and sincerity of their relationship seeps through their actions and leads back to a calm essence. Their patience provides them clarity of how they’ll progress. Magnus saved Alec’s life from falling off the bridge and from slipping into some unknown world between him and his parabatai with blue magic, which is a provided example of protection. The need to provide Alec with his comfort, and his power. Overall, there’s an overwhelming amount of happiness that Magnus feels towards Alec that makes him bring out his blue magic.

So, when Alec was punching away at Raphael, Magnus used orange magic to hold his fist and push him back. Note that I don’t think he’s ever directed the color orange with his magic at Alec (I could be wrong but I’m pretty confident with that). With what I found, orange is the color of self-expression, overcoming addiction, courage, deceit, distrust, aggression, and domination. Orange enhances activity and pushes towards action. This color comes across as aggressive yet warm.

Given that Magnus used orange for the first time against Alec to prevent him from hurting someone he looks down to as a son, it shows a sense of domination. Magnus is showing Alec despite how much he loves him, there are things that he feels passionate about (In this case it’s his care for Raphael and his desire to stop the negative energy). He was expressing himself by giving off his emotion in his color and his features and in the heat of the moment, Magnus showed aggression towards the situation. The whole thing started with Isabelle’s drug addiction, so when Magnus uses orange in his magic, it’s almost as if he’s showing Izzy and Raphael that what is occurring should be overcome because it’s clearly gotten out of hand. Since Magnus has never used this color towards Alec, it brings out the courage that he possesses because he is showing how willing he is to fight for what’s right while still managing to do something he isn’t comfortable with. The distrust that is shown within that simple action is minor, but it’s almost like a warning towards Alec showing him that he is misunderstanding the truth and if he acts upon instinct, the trust between them will weaken which is obviously unwanted but evident. Magnus took action and stopped the situation. Out of all of this aggression and anger that Magnus felt towards the situation, he still felt a sense of warmth and love. If he hadn’t felt a bit of light towards the problem, the color of his magic would’ve been pure red which shows immense anger. Magnus wouldn’t dare use red against Alec because of the love that has grown between them.

Magnus absolutely hated using his orange magic against Alec, but he did it anyways simply because he wanted to represent his love that is still present, while showing that he doesn’t approve of the matter at hands. You can see in his face as he’s using his magic that it’s literally breaking him to do this to Alec. He just saw his love punching the holy hell out of someone he’s taken in as a son. Of course it was terrible for Magnus.

He could’ve used red and forgotten everything Alec means to him and he could’ve used blue and forgotten everything Raphael means to him. Instead, he showed orange. The neutral color. The color that represents his care towards both of them while still showing how horrible the problem is.

I don’t know if all of that made sense to any of you, but what I got out of all of that research is that Magnus Bane will always show love towards Alec even in a terrible situation and that makes my heart sore with sappy emotions.

Harry Styles - “Confessions” Part Two

Part two to the imagine that almost killed me and I feel like some of you. So, enjoy! 

Warning: Your heart may still break.. It will, there is no may about it .. 

Part OnePart Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight


Harry was making several attempts to contact you. He called, text, even sent flowers to both the house and your work but he never did attempt to come by the house. The house was beginning to feel so empty and the largeness of it seemed to be haunting you. This was the house the two of you had bought together, the place you had every intention of raising a family in but instead Harry was off starting a family with someone else. You were staring to consider selling it or moving out and letting Harry take it. 

You kept waiting for it to appear in the news, that Harry Styles got a girl pregnant, a girl that wasn’t the girl he had been with for the last 4 years. Everyone knew of your relationship, pretty much everyone loved the two of you together and thankfully the breakup had stayed private and out of the media so far but you knew it was only a matter of time especially when everyone found out about the baby. 

It was late one night, you had been curled up on the couch watching some chick flick, attempting to take your mind off of everything. It was storming outside, the sound of the steady rain and occasional thunder was also helping calm your mind but your heart gave a jump and you sat up quickly on the couch when there was a loud knock on the front door. 

You take small cautious steps towards the front door, it was almost 11 at night. Who would be coming at a time like this? An axe murderer, that was one. But when you peaked out the window beside the door you saw a familiar figure stood in the dull light of the porch light. You yanked open the door and came face to face with Harry Styles for the first time in weeks. 

“Harry,” You whisper, taking in the sight of him. His black shirt and jeans were soaked, his hair falling in wet tendrils down his forehead. You took note that clearly the wetness of his cheeks was not just from the rain as his eyes were red and puffy. He also had facial hair, clearly not having shaved in a week or two. 

“I need you.” His voice was a raspy plea. This was the voice of a truly broken man and it instantly brought tears to your eyes. You open your mouth to say you couldn’t do it when he cut you off. “I know I have no righ’ to ask for you to help me but please, I can’ do this anymore. I can’ live a life you aren’ in. Just hear me out for a second, alrigh’?” You sigh and find yourself stepping back to allow him to enter. 

“Let me get you a towel and dry clothes.” As Harry had never returned for his things, his clothes still took up his half of the closet. You had debated getting rid of them but those colorful silken shirts, the vibrant patterned pants and all of the boots lining the bottom of the closet felt like home and you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You reach for his grey sweatshirt and a pair of black basketball shorts. After grabbing a towel from the linen closet in the bathroom you head back out to him, handing them to him. 

“Thank you.” He whispers as he takes them, giving you a weak smile but his eyes were still watery and red. You just gave a nod and looked away before he exited the room, heading for the guest bathroom down the hall. You sat down on the couch, sitting anxiously on the edge of the cushion as you waited for his return. Your mind was racing. What would he say? What would you say? 

Once he returned, he placed his wet clothes and the towel on the floor beside the couch and then took a seat beside you. You tried not to note how close he was but his presence, that familiarity of his body heat, sent your heart into a rapid race and caused your breath to hitch in your throat. The two of you sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. 

“So, what is it?” You finally ask, your voice low but in the quietness of the large house, you having flipped off the TV while you waited for him to return, made it sound as if you were yelling. 

“I have to go to Los Angeles tomorrow to mee’ with her and our lawyers.” He explained, his voice low as he looked down as his tangled hands. “We are goin’ to figure ou’ wha’ we are goin’ to do.” 

“So what do you need me for then? I’m not part of this.” And you couldn’t be. That was why you made him leave, after all. 

“You can’ come with me? Maybe as moral support?” You can’t help but give a laugh but you stop almost immediately when he looks over at you with watery eyes. 

“Harry, I’m sorry, but I can’t. You think I can just fly to LA with you and sit across from that woman as if I’m not totally imagining you fucking her? I’m sorry but no.” You shake your head, willing yourself to stand firm on this but his bottom lip begins to give a quiver and he hangs his head again. “Harry, please,” You reach out, resting your hand on his shoulder. “I can’t.” 

“I can’ either.” He whispers, his breathing giving a raspy gasp as he tried to catch his breath and will the sobs not to come. As he hung his head, you saw the tears drip down, disappearing into the carpet below as he leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. 

“I know that this is hard, Harry, but what you’re asking of me…” You trail off, giving a small shake of your head as you move your hand off of his shoulder, tangling your fingers together in your lap to stop yourself from reaching out for his hand like you so desperately wanted to. 

“I know, I know I shouldn’ be and I’ve debated coming here to ask because I know how wrong it is.” He shakes his head, giving a sigh and looks up at you. The way his green eyes shined with tears, that furrow in his brow, the creases on his forehead, it killed you and hurt you so badly. “You’ve always been the one tha’ was there to help me through anythin’ and this is the hardest and scariest thing I’ve ever gone through and I don’ know if I can do it withou’ you.”

“You’re asking me to support you while another woman has your baby, Harry. I told you to leave, I broke up with you, because I couldn’t be a part of that, I can’t be.” 

“I’m not askin’ you to get back together, love, I’m jus’ asking for you to help me while her and I sort everythin’ out. I jus’ need you to hold me togethe’ for jus’ a little while until it all sinks in. And not as my girlfriend, if tha’s not what you wan’, I get that. As my friend, though, you were my friend firs’, can we not go back to that jus’ while I handle this?” You bring your bottom lip in between your teeth as you look over at him, his eyes pleading. “I need you.” He whispers, just as he had minutes before when you opened the door to him. 

“Okay,” You eventually breathed out, not letting yourself over think this. Harry was right, you had been best friends before you dated, you could support him in that way. Or at least you would try. His face finally creeps into a small smile, the first smile he’d had in weeks. He was so grateful for you and that you were willing to do this for him.

So, after talking over flight details Harry left and you curled up in your large and empty bed and cried yourself to sleep, afraid of what you had gotten yourself in to. 

The next day, the plane ride was silent and awkward. Neither of you knew what waited in Los Angeles and just being close to each other again was hard enough. You regretted deeply agreeing to do this but it was too late now. 

“If I end up not being able to handle this, I’m going to leave. I can’t torture myself like this, not even for you.” You tell him as the two of you enter his Los Angeles home. He had already had this place before the two of you moved in and you didn’t spend much time here as you preferred London but it was still like a home to you but now it felt foreign. 

“I understand.” Harry tells you, giving you a weak smile. He still couldn’t believe that you actually came with him. He figured he would have to beg more, plead with you, basically all but drag you to the airport but here you were. He loved you so much in that moment, amazed that even after he hurt you so badly, you still supported him and cared for him enough to do this. 

“Wait,” You say, halting in the hallway outside of the master bedroom. Harry’s chest hits your back, having not been able to stop in time with your abrupt stop. “Was it here? Was it here that you…?” You trail off, unable to get the words out as you picture her, rolling around in the sheets of your bed. You turn and look up at him, seeing his furrowed brows as he puts together what you were asking. You hadn’t even thought of that when you agreed to come. You should have gotten a hotel. 

“No, of course not. It was at her house.” He explains and a sense of relief washes over you. “I’ll take the guest room, you can have our… I mean my… room.” His voice drops off after realizing his mistake. 

“I don’t think I can sleep in there.” You whisper, looking up at him. It was hard enough sleeping in the once shared bed in London, but this room, this bedroom was the place where the two of you had first slept together, the place that had solidified your love for him. Another reason it probably would have killed you to know she had been in that bed. Harry drops yours and his bags that he was carrying as your eyes filled with tears and he pulled you into his arms. 

“I’m so sorry. I can’ say sorry enough.” You allow yourself to curl against him, burying your face in his chest as you began to cry freely. You had spent so much time trying to not cry over the last few weeks and now here it all was coming out and you weren’t sure you were able to stop. “Come on.” Harry pulls back to take your hand and leads you down the hall to the guest bedroom. “You should res’ for a bit.” 

“Stay with me.” You whisper, reaching out for his hand after he’s guided you onto the bed. He was about to leave the room but just as he needed your comfort, you also needed his. 

“Are you sure?” He questions, frowning down at you. He wanted nothing more than to curl up right there in bed with you and hold you close again but he knew how badly he had hurt you, hurt himself even, and didn’t want to make things worse with you.

“Please, Harry.” You all but beg, still gripping at his hand. Your eyes were filled with tears and you knew they had just begun. Harry stares at you, his own green eyes watery, and then gave a nod. He laid slowly down beside you, letting you decide how the two of you would lay together. You grab his arm, tugging it around you as you fold against his side. He has to resist the urge to kiss the top of your head and instead leans back into the pillows as his hand brushes against your arm, trailing across your soft skin. 

“Love?” Harry soon questions as he realizes you were in a full on cry in that moment. He felt the wetness on his t-shirt and had felt the shake in your shoulders. As soon as he spoke a sob fell from your lips. “Talk to me, sweetheart.” He tried to pull back to get you to look at him but you took a handful of his shirt in your fists and make him stay where he was. 

“I had so many plans for us,” You finally gasp out. “I had pictured our wedding, where we would go for our honeymoon, what kind of dress I wanted, and then even what we would name our children.” You were speaking so fast. Now that the dam had been broken, it seemed you were going to let everything out. Your chest ached, your throat already raw from the sobs. “I wanted to marry you, I wanted to start a family with you.” 

“I know, I know, love,” Harry whispers, unable to get his voice any louder. He looks up at the ceiling as the tears leak from his eyes. He takes a deep breath, trying to stay strong and keep it together. He had broken so many times around you lately, it was time for him to take care of you. “I wanted to marry you, too. I’d planned how I was going to ask.” He whispered that last bit as quietly as possible but he knew you had heard when your breath hitched in your throat and you sat up, glaring down at him.

“Don’t,” You spit at him. “Don’t say shit like that. If you really wanted to marry me, if you wanted a life with me, then no matter what kind of fight we had gotten into you wouldn’t have gone to someone else.” 

“I messed up, love, but tha’ doesn’ mean I don’ love you or don’ want a life with you.” He argued but you shook your head and rolled away from him. You sat on the other side of the bed as he too sat up, facing you. “I will fight for you, for us, for the res’ of my life. I promise you. I can’ give up on us. I made a mistake, I know, but you are the only one I want a life with.” You can’t help but roll your eyes as you bring your hand up, wiping at your wet cheeks. 

“Harry, there is no us to fight for anymore. I will never be able to forgive you, I’ve already told you that. You have someone else to fight for now, you have a child to take care of, that’s what you should be focusing on.” Harry just didn’t know what to say, how to express his regret, his hatred towards himself, and how much he longed for you to forgive him. But he understood. He knew he would probably never forgive you if the situation was reversed but he knew he would at least try. 

“I don’ know what to do,” He whispers, his hands pressing into his face. He falls back on the pillows and sighs. Thankfully the tears stayed away. “I can’t raise a child. I’m goin’ to be a shit father.” You sigh and move next to him, pulling a hand from his face so he looks at you.

“You are going to be an amazing father, Harry, don’t doubt yourself. You’re amazing with kids.” And he was, that was why you wanted a family with him one day. He was the most amazing man and would be the most amazing father, you knew that and had no doubts. “No matter the circumstances behind how they came into this world, you are going to love and take care of that child and they will love you so much.” That’s when the tears came back for Harry. He sighs, closing his eyes and turns to bury his face in the pillow beside him. “Do you want to raise the baby with … her .. or .. what is the plan?” 

“I don’ know,” Came his muffled response. “Tha’s what the meetin’ tomorrow is, to talk about options.” He had turned to look at you as he continues speaking so you give a nod, biting at your lower lip. 

“Do you.. do you think you’ll try being with her? Like .. as a family?” You had pictured it, Harry, his child and this mystery woman happy, smiling, laughing together. It killed you inside as it was always you in her place when you imagined it in the past. 

“I don’ want a family with anyone but you.” Harry sits up, having clearly picking up on what you were imagining right now so he pulls you into his arms and kisses the side of your head. “Firs’ thing we’ll do is make sure I’m the father and then go from there.” He explains as you rest your head against his chest. 

“Do you want to be the father?” You whisper as you listen to his heartbeat under your ear. 

“No,” He mutters back almost immediately. “Bu’ if I am… I’m going to do the righ’ thing and try to raise him or her. I won’ let someone else do it for me. It’s my child and I need to take responsibility.” You lift your head and look up at him, a small smile on your face. 

“And no matter how scared you are, you will do it amazingly and that child will love you so much.” He gives a watery smile, one solitary tear falling down his face before he nods. “Does she want the baby?” 

“We haven’ talked about it. That’s what the meetin’ tomorrow is for.” He explains with a sigh. “I don’ want to see her..” 

“And you think I do?” You meant it as a joke but it came out with a touch of malice and you regretted it when you saw that hurt look on his face. “Did she know? About me?” 

“Yes,” He whispers. “I’d gone to a bar after our really bad figh’, drank too much and told her everythin’. I wasn’ thinking clearly and it just.. happened.” He tells you. It pained you so much to hear this but you knew you had to. “I didn’ tell you when I came home and we worked everythin’ out because I was so scared of losin’ you. I knew I would tell you one day bu’… I got home and you were so happy and I couldn’t bare to be the one to make you cry.” 

You couldn’t say anything, nothing that you hadn’t said before about the situation. You couldn’t, wouldn’t, forgive him and that you stood firm on. You came to Los Angeles with him as moral support in a friendly sense, and nothing more. 

“Does she know you and I broke up?” You wondered then, thinking that maybe if she knew, or when she found out, she would try to get with Harry. You didn’t like imagining it. 

“I haven’ spoken to her since she called and told me. I contacted my lawyer the day afte’ you and I … afte’ I left, and he contacted hers. We’ve gone through them eve’ since.” You nod, feeling a bit better at the idea that he wasn’t in contact with her. You couldn’t stand the thought of picturing them talking about baby names or what gender they hoped it was. “Are we ever going to be okay again?” He spoke these words so quietly after a few minutes of silence, neither of you having looked at each other. 

“I don’t think so, Harry.” You tell him softly, looking over at him. As he hangs his head and begins to cry again, you stand from the bed. “I can’t, I’m sorry.” You were letting the tears fall again as well. 

“Y/N…” He whispers after you but you were already out of the room. After locking yourself in the bathroom down the hall, you slid down the hard wood door, your face in your hands as you truly began to cry. Harry didn’t move from the bed, he curled himself into the pillow beside him and cried just as he had been doing the last few weeks. He should be all cried out by now but somehow.. somehow there always seemed to be more. 

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.
—  Bob Marley
Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Sebastian Stan x Reader) Pt. 6

A/N: yaaay! chap 6 is finally here and the big moment finally happens you guys! *throws table* i always felt like seb would do some spontaneous stuff like this in this situation! I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! - Delilah

Warnings: None. 

Originally posted by vibraniumdoll


Sebastian: What are you wearing? ;)

You snickered at your phone as you walked through the large building. Since the grand discovery a couple weeks ago, you both have been completely honest with each other. No lies, no secrets, just the absolute truth.

You learned quite a bit about Sebastian; you both were similar in so many ways. You both were devoted pizza lovers. This conversation ended with Sebastian sending you a pizza all the way from Melbourne (where he was filming at the time) and made sure you got you and his’ favorite topping: pineapple and pepperoni. He made sure to tell the pizzeria to place the toppings in a heart shape, which you found absolutely adorable.

 Sebastian was also highly obsessed with Sharon Stone, which led to you sending him a body pillow with her body printed on it. He practically imploded when he un-boxed it the day he got it. You made sure he sent you pictures of it for your lock screen.

 Also, you found that Sebastian and you loved Star Wars with a burning passion. This led to a giant craze where you both sent each other merchandise of your favorite characters. Your favorite character was Leia Organa -she took absolutely no shit from anyone and was the most important female protagonist in a film full of males. Sebastian loved Finn -he was an unlikely man who was able to save lives despite his harsh upbringing. He also had a huge man crush on him. You both may or may not have spent your free time reading the scripts together for fun. 

You were currently leaving your latest internship job. You were tired, but still grateful for the opportunities you were given. You knew to never give up, no matter what life threw at you. You texted Sebastian back a snarky little reply. 

Me:  khakis and crocs. :)

Sebastian: ugh, i love it. are you wearing a fanny pack, too? that’s such a turn on. 

You giggled as you typed out your reply. He was such a little dork and you loved it. 

Me: oh yeah. my hair’s in those little leia buns as well. i’m a hot mess. 

Sebastian: i think you look lovely. that jacket brings your eye color. :)

You froze.

What?

You furrowed your eyebrows, your eyes narrowing in suspicion as you peered around the crowd of people around you. There was no way he could see you from your phone, so what was he on about? 

Me: how did you know i was wearing a jacket? are you having someone follow me around?  >:|

He didn’t reply right away, in fact, your phone stayed silent. You knew Sebastian wouldn’t have someone spy on you, that was a ridiculous thought and all, but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling in your tummy that someone’s eyes were on you. 

You picked up your pace, eyeing every single person that walked by you with suspicion. You were almost to the entrance when your phone buzzed again, the notification chime blared loudly from the speakers. 

Sebastian: and that skirt! man, your legs are amazing!

Now you were getting a bit annoyed. How on earth did he know you were wearing a skirt? That was impossible, as he’s on the other side of the earth at the moment. 

Me: haha. very funny, seb. tell your buddy to stop following me or i’ll use my pepper spray. 

You were instantly reminded of your car, which was waiting for you in front of the building. You had put enough money in the meter for an hour and you really needed to get going. 

You power walked outside of the building, hugging your purse to your body. Your eyes were on everyone and everything that was in your sight. You were highly paranoid person all together and Sebastian being a little shit wasn’t helping at all. 

You’d get him back for this! 

You spotted your car, just a few steps away. You let out a sigh of relief as you got closer and closer to your vehicle. You’d give him a call shortly after you got settled in and demand answers. How did he figure out your outfit? Maybe he was just a lucky guesser?

As soon as you made it within a foot of your car, you immediately stopped in your tracks. Your purse you had clutched in your arms, slid from your shoulder fell to the ground with a thud. 

“Hey, kiddo,” The man spoke with a sheepish smile. One you had only seen from a computer or phone, never in person until now. He held up a bouquet of roses, along with a pizza box in his other hand. 

You covered your mouth with your hand as you stared at a very lively Sebastian, leaning against the side of your car. 

“I guess I’ve got some explaining to do, huh?” 


-Fin! 

Tag list of super awesome people! 

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @ballerinafairyprincess @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @abigailredgrave @adrianabribiescacortes @sheriwallace123 @the-lazy-leprechaun @theunknownangel62 @abovethesmokestacks @diana-daydreamer @amrita31199 @jezzula @loricameback @sebbyismyking @jamesbarnesblog @claryfray1698 @twinklingstarlight @netflixa @tatortot2701 @winterboobaer @ihavetwobuckystomyname @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @melconnor2007 @kaitskennedyy @kaykayvoltage53 @livforthegames @dracu-ma-bucky @shieldagentofthemonth @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @buckybarnesbestbabe @witheringblooddemon @lostinspace33 @jenna-luke @bellaballanda @confuzzled-panda@astralbarnes @38leticia @davinaciaire @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @marveloussssworld @christynjay @mizzzpink @nottheopera @beebossinner @meganlane84 @adrianabribiescacortes @chou-maitresse @permanent-lines @the-winter-avengerrrrr @dontsassmecastiel @jeylockley @i-am-amora-the-enchantress @addictivewriter @sebbeanstan @gerardwayisapotato

Finding Closure (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader left behind a hometown full of misery to make a new home in Brooklyn. A death in the family forces her to briefly return to the place that has haunted her dreams and memories for three years. Will she finally be able to move on, or will a figure from the past change everything?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,837

Warnings: angst, language, more angst, mention of alcoholism, mention of death, mention of funeral, mentions of neglect, mentions of estranged family members, heartache, sadness, mentions of sad childhood

A/N: This is the first part of my submission for the talented and wonderful @tatortot2701 ‘s AU writing challenge. (Tay, please disregard until it’s completed!) Y'all wanted angst, well…I took a fluffy prompt and darkened it. I tried not to but this story wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m not sure how many parts it will have.

My prompt was 28 .“____ is not a real word.” “Yes it is!”

Part:  1 - 2 -

Originally posted by brokenmichael

Keep reading

Day Five: Blue

Blue had somehow managed to convince Lance and the others to let just the two go on a solo mission. Blue had requested Lance ask Allura, who had agreed because Zarkon and his fleet hadn’t attacked for a few days. So, it was just Blue and Lance, flying through outer space.
“Blue, where are you even taking me?” Blue only answered with an amused hum. Lance rolled his eyes fondly, letting her take him where she pleased. Lance gazed at the stars that flew past them, watching them as the flickered and shined. In the corner of Lance’s eye, he could see a small pastel purple dot. As Blue flew toward it, Lance realized that was a planet. Blue suddenly cut off Lance’s vision, so he couldn’t see the planet as they landed. “Hey! What was that for?” Lance could basically feel the laughter coming from Blue in his head. They softly landed, and Lance could hear a faint crunch as Blue’s paws hit the ground. A familiar hiss flooded throughout the cockpit as Blue lowered her jaw, allowing Lance to step out into the new planet.
“Blue, what is this place? Why did you-” Lance dropped his sentence, letting the words drift away with the gentle breeze. The planet was beautiful. Blue had landed on what appeared to be a beach. The water was a pastel purple, and the sand was a soft blue color. Strange birds with four wings flew across the sky, their calls almost sounding like bells. Lance could clearly see the various aquatic life in the water, watching as rainbow-scales fish swam through iridescent seaweed. “Blue..this place is amazing. Breathtaking. But…why did you bring me here?” Lance’s eyes fluttered shut as Blue showed him an image: it was him and his family, playing and splashing around back at him home beach. Lance had a wide smile on his face, tilting his head back and laughing loudly as he and his siblings splashed each other. Lance opened his eyes, glistening with unshed tears.
“Blue..thank you.” He walked toward the shoreline, taking off his boots and letting the sand sink in between his toes. He let the waves wash over his ankles, smiling softly, letting fond memories of his family wash over him. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear Blue creep behind him. With a swift move, Blue bit the collar of Lance’s suit, lifting him into the air.
“B-Blue?! What are you doing?? Put me down-” Without letting Lance finish his sentence, Blue tossed him into the water, Lance screaming the whole time. With a splash, Lance quickly resurfaced.
“What the heck what that for?! I’m going to get even you hear me? B-Blue? What are you doing? Oh. OH QUIZNAK!!” With a pounce, Blue jumped into the water with Lance, splashing him with large waves. “Okay, that’s it! It is ON!!” Lance and Blue continued to splash each other. Blue could feel the love for Paladin and happiness in her grow as she watched her Paladin grin and laugh, just as he had with his family.

you always have my back and i can’t thank you enough for that. the truth is i wouldn’t be who i am today without your love and care. and like always, strangers have strange affairs. thanks for lighting my way out of depression. i’m not as sad and some days it’s not like that, but when i smile— you are much larger than life, brighter than the sun and pull more than the moon. i love you falls short when i think of you. you bring my colors into more dimensions and i want to live until that line makes sense.

After all that happened in Louis’ life, he was tired and wanted to just breathe and relax on a weekend and play with his baby and maybe find a girl that would accept all the crazy in his life. When mum passed on, his heart was filled with sadness and nothing felt like it was worth it. The only thing that kept him happy at all was the tiny boy with his eyes. Freddie knew Louis was sad and he gave him extra cuddles without knowing why but he missed his happy, happy dad.

When Louis wished for an angel, he didn’t know you would appear the very next day. Just a beautiful girl with a bright smile that made eye contact with Freddie at the store and then played peekaboo with him while they stood in line. The baby giggled and kept peeking at her shyly. “Are you flirting with the pretty girl?” Louis asked poking at Freddie’s little belly.

“Aw, I’m flattered such a cutie wants to flirt with little ol’ me,” you grinned and moved closer to Louis. “How old is he?” You asked. Louis felt the warmth that was practically radiating off you and warming his own body. It caused his heart to stutter a few beats as he tried to keep his cool as he spoke. You smelled of chocolate and sunshine. Your hair was thrown every which way and pieces were missing from your braid that laid against the t-shirt with holes in it. The next was leggings that had paint stains sporadically throughout your legs and sneakers with frayed shoelaces. You weren’t trying this morning and that’s what made you all the more beautiful to Louis and Freddie.

“Do you know how old you are?” Louis asked Freddie. “How old?” He said.

Freddie held up one finger and you gasped. “No way!” You said. “I thought you were like four years old!” You shook your head. Freddie giggled and Louis wanted to know if it was appropriate to ask a girl he just met that was flirting with his one-year old for her number.

“You’re going to flirt with all the girls, aren’t you?” You asked and gently nudged Louis to the side of you with your hip and you rubbed your finger against his round little cheek. “Oh boy, you’re gonna break some hearts,” you told him as he cuddled into your hand. Smirking at his son he turned to watch your profile as you played with the baby.

Feeling his stare, you turned and realized how close you were to Louis. “I’m sorry,” you said flushing as those pretty blue eyes gazed at you longingly. It made your stomach knot. His face was scruffed with stubble and his hair was a mess of cowlicks that had not settled since he woke up with the baby. He was utterly beautiful and he smelled like mint and hairspray. He looked so snuggly and warm in his mismatched track suit and sandals on his feet. Clearly, he was here in the early morning with the baby to get a few things and you had the blessed opportunity to meet the pair.

“It’s alright,” he smirked with an eyebrow raised. “Most ladies just coo over him to get to me. You’ve barely looked at me,” he said knowingly as he placed his purchases on the belt. “It’s adorable,” he promised.

Not for lack of want.

But you listened to his statement and while you kept the baby company gaping as he showed you his new car that Louis was buying him, and you looked up at the single dad doing his best to give his son everything. “That’s sad to hear,” you frowned. “I promise I can gawk over both of you,” you said flirtatiously with a wink.

Louis tilted his head in surprise at you and clucked his tongue. “Why darling, are you flirting with myself and my son?” He wondered.

“Maybe…” you felt your cheeks warm as you put the divider after Louis’ things and placed your own groceries after. “Does your son have a number or can I use yours to get to you both?”

Shaking his head with a chuckle, he passed his phone off to you and you felt your hands shake as you typed your number into Louis Tomlinson’s phone.

*

Much of your first dates were spent with the baby between the two of you as you gushed over Freddie and played with him. Louis was in awe at how naturally you worked with Freddie and how readily he took to you. He truly felt full of love as he watched you cuddle with the little being he helped make.

“Can you give her a kiss?” Louis asked Freddie several dates later. He did, he placed an open-mouthed drooly kiss on your lips causing you to giggle. Freddie’s cheeks were round and rosy and Louis smiled happily. While Freddie entertained himself with his blocks, you wiped your lips off and Louis came to sit beside you, no space between your leg and his. “Was that a good first kiss?” He wondered.

“A little wetter than I expected,” you grinned but felt your cheeks warm at his line of questioning.

Louis’s eyes drooped lazily as he looked you over searching your face for a hint of anything but pureness and angelic qualities. When he came up short of nothing else, he leaned forward slowly and you closed your eyes as his lips connected with yours. One hand came up to cup your cheek and you grabbed hold of the arm that was crossing over your body as he did. He tasted as good, if not better than he looked, your lips tingled and it felt like sugar was spreading through your body all the way to your toes.

It ended when a tiny little body threw himself at you guys, halting your kiss abruptly. “Aye, lad, you got your turn!” Louis said grabbing at his son and tickling him playfully. Feeling the redness of your cheeks dissipate you joined in to tickle the baby and Louis caught your eye a few times and his lips always pulled into a wider grin.

*

After a lot of months, half of your belongings mixed in with Freddie’s and Louis’ you found yourself giving up your apartment to move in with your favorite boys. Louis wondered how he could have lucked out in finding you, but he tried not to question it too often. All at once, you were his home and it scared him but Lottie adored you and told Louis not to let you out of his sight. It broke his own heart, but he was scared to lose you because he felt everything he loved got ripped away from him.

He knew though, you weren’t going anywhere—you told him how much you adored him and the little one. Nonetheless, he still worried. At times, he felt like he was always complaining to you and you never got to; you had your issues, too. Mistrust, anxiety, stress, there was a reason Louis and you were a good pair. But you promised him that none of those things existed around him; while he believed you, he saw the pain in your eyes now and again. Usually after a long day at work, sometimes after you selflessly insisted you go pay attention to Freddie early in the morning, or every time a light went off in your car signifying another payment.

The stress built on Louis and made him feel terrible. He would do anything to ease your mind or life after you had done so much for him.

*

Shortly after it happened, Louis read that he should have gotten in a horrible fight with you before you moved in. Each couple’s article said you had to see them mad. Now he knew what that looked like and it was his fault entirely. When Louis left the apartment after that fight, he assumed you would have called Lottie to watch the baby and have hightailed it out of there with all you could carry.

It was over money and it was stupid because he insinuated he made a ton of more money than you did and you didn’t need to stress about money. Of course, it was supposed to be a good thing, but you wanted to feel equal—but you didn’t. However, you felt that even if all he said was true, he didn’t have the right to insult your job.

He felt bad and wanted to fix it but had no idea how. He imagined this mistrust, anxiety and overwhelming stress you had was not eased as he said it. Surely, you needed more than flowers to fix this one. (But he got flowers regardless.)

“Louis. You are not listening to me!” You screamed.NONE of that matters to me. I want to do my part to help and you won’t let me and then it just feels like you’re paying me to be here with Freddie!”

“SO WHAT?! You do so much for him! You should get paid for it! We don’t even deserve your help!”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!”

“Why would you want this, love?” He waved his arm around vaguely. “Why would you want a child that’s not yours and a guy that’s lost everything there is to lose and then some? Why would you want this mess?”

“Because this is the first time I’ve felt at home in a long time. It’s not all about you, Louis,” you hissed quietly.

“Then you must be stupid,” he grumbled and marched right out the door.

Entering the apartment, he was shocked to see how clean it was and he heard bright happy music coming through the sound system. The smell of chocolate chip cookies with his mum’s recipe was flowing through the air. His heart was feeling whole again and he imagined he would be sobbing on the couch to Lottie right about now.

As he entered the living room area he found you dancing with Freddie in your arms and you were singing to him so happily. And ahh…you’re my favorite thing / Ah…all the love that you bring. Freddie was bobbing his head back and forth out of rhythm smiling brightly at his favorite lady.

But it feels like I’ve opened my eyes again / And the colors are golden and bright again / There’s a song in my heart, I feel like I belong / It’s a better place since you came along. Louis realized he had never heard you sing before and he felt in that moment he had been deprived all his life of the most beautiful sound in the entire world.

When you spun with Freddie again he gasped excitedly to see his dad. Louis smiled gently. One side of his mouth creeping up slowly on the side of his face. Your face heated up and you nuzzled against Freddie. Louis stuck the flowers out for you to take and he traded you for the baby.

The song kept playing and Louis’ heart was feeling the same way it did when you played peekaboo with Freddie in line at the grocery store all those months ago. “I thought you would be gone by now,” he murmured.

“I think we both said some things we didn’t mean.”

“Me more than you,” he muttered kissing the top of Freddie’s head that was rested on his chest. You were putting the flowers in a vase and the song was so upbeat and sweet. He knew you had it playing on purpose. Your lips moved to the words as you did your task. “Your singing is beautiful,” he said.

“That’s very kind coming from a professional singer.”

“Like everything else about you, it’s very pure.”

Peering up at him through your eyelashes you smiled gently and shook your head. “Do you get it?” You asked.

He nodded. “Love, it’s a better place since you came along,” he whispered.

Grinning, you stepped around the counter and placed the baby in his high chair before you turned to Louis again. You inched closer to him and slipped your fingers into his short feathery hair. His hands made a home for themselves in the back pockets of your jeans and he pressed his mouth against yours and pushed all the love he had for you into his lips so you could feel the happiness and pureness he felt whenever he was in the same room as you.

And when Freddie cooed and giggled at the mushiness you turned and looked at him with a smile. “Now that’s how you kiss a girl, you slobbery little thing,” you said cutely to him. Louis, breathlessly, felt himself blushing as he chuckled and everything was right again. “Louis?” You said quietly as you grabbed a handful of cheerios for Freddie and spilled them on his tray.

“Hmm?” He hummed as he watched you slowly taking in every single movement.

“Do you know I love you?” You asked.

His heart all but stopped. “What?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to say it first, but you’re stubborn so I’m caving and it’s terrifying because I’d rather kill myself than be rejected, but I do love you, so very much and I don’t think you’ve felt love in a long time and I want you to know that I love you. A lot…and always,” you said and you spun from the high chair to look at him as long as you could before you felt stupid and vulnerable.

Without even noticing him move, you were yanked to Louis’ body and you swore he had never held you tighter. His arms were curled so tightly around you, you were pressed against every inch of his body. His lips found the side of your head and he pressed his lips there. “Love, I love you more than you could ever possibly know,” he whispered bravely. But it felt right—like he didn’t need to be brave anymore.

Not when it came to you.

warning: su critical focused on lars

okay, i’m gonna say it because i’m just so, so mad at what happened with lars. i’m sorry for any writing mistakes, but i just have to.

if you don’t like su critical, don’t interact.

so, let’s take a look on what rebecca just did, alright?

so you take a character of color, who is a teenager with various mental health issues - as far as we have been shown, he has self-esteem problems, anxiety, depression, and who knows what else. you take this character, and right from the start, from the first beta pilot episode, you show him as some sort of enemy to steven: your white, pure, innocent and kind protagonist. you write him as a “bad guy”, because he doesn’t have the “cool, cute” symptoms from mental illness: he’s aggressive, he can be rude, he can lose his patience in a matter of seconds and he has some weakness moments which lead him to act “cowardly”, as steven would say. you also show him as an asshole because he DARES to disagree with everything steven says, because you know, he has a personality of his own and also has his personal opinions, and that’s just not cool. so, from the beggining, of course, you show your poc mentally ill character as an enemy to your perfect, mary-sue white boy, because he hurts the boy’s feelings. and the show goes on, and even with episodes focused on him, you keep denying his character a proper development as he deserves. so finally, it comes to a point where you make him die. literally die. and you make your perfect white protagonist save him, making him come back to life, only to be some sort of “servant" or at least making a parallel that consists on comparing him with, literally, a servant animal: an animal, and a disposable character used only to travel and for comic relief: that’s what you’re comparing to lars. not to mention, you change his skin color (a non-white color) to a pastel-pink shade, a lighter color that has been used on the show to white-coded gems, such as rose. anyway, you kill him and make steven bring him back because finally, he will be “redeemed” from his mistakes, from his huuuge sins, which are being mentally ill and making steven and sadie feel sad because of some personal mistakes (which, as it looks, he’s not allowed to make). that’s everything wrong he did. what a bad guy, right? so he dies and comes back as steven’s affiliate, as something “minor” to steven (just like lion), so lars can finally treat steven as someone superior to him and “admit” he was wrong all the time - wrong for having disorders. you make him feel guilty for NOTHING, and you make steven pose as a hero just so lars can finally (and kinda literally?) bow down to him, and thank him for his life. you make him feel unworthy of coming back to earth to be happy. you make him feel unworthy of being alive and being saved, and more importantly, unworthy of steven’s kindness to make sure everyone gets the message that lars finally accepts he’s much, much less than steven and he should be thankful for it.

that’s what you do, rebecca. congratulations.

( @saltylazuli helped me a lot with this analysis. thank you.)