in case you needed to hear this

Watched Fantastic Beasts again and no offense but President Picquery is trash.

When Tina shows up with Newt and his case of creatures, Picquery doesn’t even ask what she wants. For all she knew, Tina could have just caught this man using the Cruciatus curse on No-Majs in the middle of the street. But nope, not interested. Get out of my sight, Miss Goldstein, I’m too busy stating the obvious to Mr Graves over here.

Later on, a No-Maj is killed, Tina shows up with thE SAME MAN she brought to Picquery earlier that day, and finally gets to tell her what’s happened.

(And after hearing that Newt arrived there that same day, she rounds that up to “you’ve known for 24 hours” - clearly Ilvermorny needs to make sure its students can do basic maths and timekeeping.)

And she makes out like Tina waited until someone was killed to tell her about Newt and his case even though the FIRST thing she did after catching Newt was bring him STRAIGHT UP to the office to tell Picquery.

Skip ahead to having Credence killed, and justifies it by calling him a criminal, despite knowing the unstable and uncontrollable nature of the Obscurial.

And even after Newt, who owes her *less* than nothing, does her whole fucking job for her, she tells him to Obliviate Jacob and DOESN’T even talk to Jacob, she just talks about him like he’s some kind of stray dog like ??????

“Is that No-Maj still here?” Jacob stands right in front of her. “Obliviate him.” YES PICQUERY THAT HUMAN BEING WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS IS HERE, AND CAN HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT ALTERING HIS MIND AS IF IT’S JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE. No “I’m sorry, Mister, I hope you can understand” like

how do you even survive without a heart or a brain, Picquery? How the hell did you get your pick of all four Ilvermorny houses?

anonymous asked:

What are the symptoms of ADHD besides hyperactivity? All I've been exposed to is stereotypes of what it's like to have ADHD and I want to learn more!

well here’s what it’s like for me

  • feeling like you need to Do Shit All The Time
  • like, literally every second
  • if you aren’t stimulated for even a second you’re incredibly bored
  • boredom is literally painful
  • it’s worse than death
  • worse than e v e r y t h i n g
  • feelin that sweet Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria™ any time you get teased or insulted
  • when you’re listening to music you always tune it out eventually
  • not picking up on social cues At All
  • actually, what are social cues?
  • can’t regulate attention
  • not interesting = not worth paying attention to
  • hyperfocus for hours
  • “wAIT ITS 4 PM WHAT THE F U C K”
  • did i forget to eat again
  • The Thoughts go from point a to point g in less than one (1) fuckin sentence
  • *someone says a thing* what *person repeats thing* what *person repeats thing again and you still don’t hear them but dont ask what again in case they think ur weird*
  • or, alternatively
  • *someone says a thing* what *person starts to repeat said thing; you reply less than a second after they start*
  • using subtitles all the time so you don’t have to go back twenty times to determine What The Fuck someone said
  • “sorry i tuned you out for that entire sentence can you repeat that”
  • needing e x t r e m e l y s p e c i f i c d i r e c t i o n s
  • EXTREMELY POOR VOLUME CONTROL TBH
  • tfw that thing u were working on falls apart and u cant redo it bc u already did it and that would be boring
  • long blocks of text are Extremely Hard to Read
  • ur fuckin brain works 12 times as fast as everyone elses. for every ADHD person it’s somethin different. for me it’s puns. ill choke on my own laughter at a pun an Entire Second before anyone else even gets it
  • RAMBLING
  • The Leg Bounce™
  • Disassociation
  • that ADHD feel when you
  • ^^ that one is a True Marker of an ADHD person. only ADHD people understand.

anonymous asked:

wait mr ratburn is gay? i never considered this but honestly?? i feel like it makes sense.. i never paid much attention to him tho except i remember he made puppets??.. but i wanna hear ur reasoning i want to believe this

all the reasoning u need is right here:

this was mr ratburn in his youth. you see this? straight men cant do this. case CLOSED

Putting Lipstick On A Pig

by reddit user Pippinacious

Except for the whole murder thing, Courtney James seemed like a lovely young woman. She was bright, articulate, a dedicated college student and well liked waitress at a popular restaurant.

I met her when she was sitting in an interrogation room at the precinct. She was a bit on the larger side, dressed conservatively in pastel colors and minimal makeup, and when I came in, she introduced herself with a polite smile, as if we were meeting for a job interview as opposed to a police investigation. She had declined to have an attorney present, so I got right to business.

Keep reading

general study tips

this is just a quick list of study habits that work for me, as a straight a’s student

1. even if it’s not in your teacher’s presentation written on a slide, if you hear your teacher mention a fact, WRITE IT DOWN. you might need it later for a test.

2. when you’re rewriting your notes/compiling a study guide, pretend you’re making it for someone else. include everything, even if you think you know it. (unless you’re low on time, in which case, just write what you don’t know)

3. when you’re trying to learn a new concept, pretend you’re teaching it to someone else. this is a form of active learning, and the act of breaking the concept down into steps that you can teach will improve your understanding of the concept. (for the longest time, i actually didn’t even know this was an actual study technique, because i’ve always done it subconsciously!)

4. don’t over color your notes!! if you really need a key for all the colors, then you’re using way too many. try to stick with 2-3 pens/pencils. for me, i write most of my notes in black ink or pencil and i write the important concepts i might need to find quickly later (such as vocabulary) in red or blue pen.

5. have your water bottle next to you (so you remember to stay hydrated; this makes focusing easier as well), as well as any other things you might need during a study session so you don’t have to keep getting up to get stuff (which is pretty distracting for me as i’m easily sidetracked).

6. make it a habit to write lists of everything you need to do by the end of the weekend (or the end of that day, depending on how much work you have). this’ll help you familiarize yourself with your tasks so you have a clear plan of what needs to get done.

7. (not really necessary, just something i like to do!) learn to eat with your non-dominant hand so you can eat and take notes and turn pages w/out ripping them instead of scrolling through social media. keep in mind that sometimes, meal times are for taking your mind off school so unless you’re really pressed for time, it’s not a huge deal if you spend this time w/passive reading, texting friends, etc.

8. when you’re assigned a research project, COME UP WITH A THESIS FIRST so you know what to research. try to get all your research done within the first two days or so, to have more time to plan out how you’re going to structure it. then get your draft done (something is better than nothing) so you can revise at your own pace instead of rushing at the last minute.

9. prioritize your homework!! as someone who spends hours fencing and even misses school for fencing tournaments, is part of symphonic band, and on the robotics team (build season is suuuuuper busy), i can’t express how important this is!! if you have math first period, get that done first, whereas if you have math last period, you can do it at lunch and spend your time working on something that’s due in the morning. don’t do this all the time, but if you need to, know which teachers are more strict with due dates so if you really do need an extension, you’ll be asking the least strict teacher and will have much better chances of getting said extension.

10. if you study at home like me, change into new clothes (comfy clothes, but not pajamas) before cracking open your textbooks. it’ll help make you feel more refreshed and ready to start your homework, but not confined to uncomfortable uniforms from school. tie up your hair, if it’s long. try to study at a table/desk rather than in bed (for sleeping not studying) or on the floor (bad for your posture).

11. check out this post for productive things you can do when you aren’t studying, but still want to be productive!

hope these helped some of you!!

xoxo, sal

Copy paste to email:

I’m sure everyone knows about the big Net Neutrality stuff that’s going on. It can be confusing, but please know that it is so important to do our parts to keep things the way they are. To make it easier, I have made a copy/paste email that you can send directly to each member:

Subject: Oppose the Attempts to Roll Back Net Neutrality

Ajit.Pai@fcc.gov, Ajit Pai,

Hello. My name is [Name]. I am writing to express my objections to your attempts to roll back Net Neutrality.

A free and open internet is integral to our nation. It has helped small businesses develop, opened up access to information, and leveled the playing ground for so many, regardless of their financial circumstances.

Rolling back Net Neutrality would change all of this. I object to the rollback, and demand that you hold national hearings to gauge public opinion on his efforts.

[add additional comments here or continue using this script:] Rolling back Net Neutrality is not the answer we need or want. Many Americans oppose rolling back Net Neutrality. People who support Net Neutrality believe it will force leading internet providers and companies who control valuable internet assists to compete with each other which is supposed to lower prices.

This is not the case. Rolling back Net Neutrality would make the costs go higher and higher because nothing is stopping these companies from exploiting the middle class and lower class.

To close: I object to the rollback, and ask that you join me in opposing Chairman Pai’s attempts to roll back Net Neutrality.[end optional comments]

Sincerely,

[Name] [contact]

~

Subject: Oppose the Attempts to Roll Back Net Neutrality

Mignon.Clyburn@fcc.gov, Mignon Clyburn,

Hello. My name is [name]. I am writing to express my objections to Chairman Pai’s attempts to roll back Net Neutrality.

A free and open internet is integral to our nation. It has helped small businesses develop, opened up access to information, and leveled the playing ground for so many, regardless of their financial circumstances.

Rolling back Net Neutrality would change all of this. I object to the rollback, and demand that Chairman Pai hold national hearings to gauge public opinion on his efforts.

[add additional comments here or continue using this script:] Rolling back Net Neutrality is not the answer we need or want. Many Americans oppose rolling back Net Neutrality. People who support Net Neutrality believe it will force leading internet providers and companies who control valuable internet assists to compete with each other which is supposed to lower prices.

This is not the case. Rolling back Net Neutrality would make the costs go higher and higher because nothing is stopping these companies from exploiting the middle class and lower class.

To close: I object to the rollback, and ask that you join me in opposing Chairman Pai’s attempts to roll back Net Neutrality.[end optional comments]

Sincerely,

[name] [contact]

~

Subject: Oppose the Attempts to Roll Back Net Neutrality

Mike.O’Reily@fcc.gov, Michael O’Reilly,

Hello. My name is [name]. I am writing to express my objections to Chairman Pai’s attempts to roll back Net Neutrality.

A free and open internet is integral to our nation. It has helped small businesses develop, opened up access to information, and leveled the playing ground for so many, regardless of their financial circumstances.

Rolling back Net Neutrality would change all of this. I object to the rollback, and demand that Chairman Pai hold national hearings to gauge public opinion on his efforts.

[add additional comments here or continue using this script:] Rolling back Net Neutrality is not the answer we need or want. Many Americans oppose rolling back Net Neutrality. People who support Net Neutrality believe it will force leading internet providers and companies who control valuable internet assists to compete with each other which is supposed to lower prices.

This is not the case. Rolling back Net Neutrality would make the costs go higher and higher because nothing is stopping these companies from exploiting the middle class and lower class.

To close: I object to the rollback, and ask that you join me in opposing Chairman Pai’s attempts to roll back Net Neutrality.[end optional comments]

Sincerely,

[name] [contact]

~

Its super easy to do guys and every little bit helps.

Reid x reader:
Imagine the reader being younger than Reid.

Warnings: big age difference, fluff/smut???, talking about cases

The team notices right away that something was on Spencer’s mind. It had been for the past couple months. It starts becoming obvious when boy genius himself starts messing up his facts.

“What’s up with you, pretty boy? Who’s got your panties in a knot?” Morgan asked him on the way out of the office.

The two were tired from a long day at Quantico and ready to be home.

“Knot? What makes you think anyone’s been doing anything with my panties? Did someone say something?” The doctor stuttered.

“Wow there. No I can just tell you have been distracted. Is there something you want to tell me?” Derek raises his eyebrows, stopping at his car.

Reid thinks what the best idea would be. He trusted Morgan but he also looked up to him and wondered what he would think.

“I met someone.” Reid’s mouth speaks before his brain has a chance to catch up.

Morgan can’t say he was surprised, he heard something from JJ but they were all just assumptions.

“A little lady caught the eye of Spencer Reid? Now how does one do that?” Derek smirks.

Reid has a silly grin on his face, he shrugs and looks down at the ground.

“She is- she’s pretty amazing.” He brags.

It was a relief to finally get it off his chest. For the past 3 months he’s been having to keep it a secret. He wouldn’t usually be hanging around people like you. Not unless he was on the job.

Not that there is anything wrong with you. Like he said you are amazing; smart, funny, beautiful. Everything he wanted in a girl.

You were pretty much his dream girl, except you are real.

“So when do I get to meet her?” Morgan wonders.

A question Spencer couldn’t answer. Both of your schedules were pretty full. You and Spencer had talked about meeting your friends next weekend at Rossi’s.

“Soon hopefully.” Spencer said before both him and his coworker made their way home.

When you heard the door start to unlock, you put your book down.

You greet the boy at the door.

You throw your arms around his neck before he has a chance to put anything down. He hugs you back.

“Did you get settled in?” He asks, closing the door with his foot.

You nod, you got into town this morning, Spencer was already at work so you have been at his house all alone. You two planned spending the spring holiday together. A whole week and a half of just you and your boyfriend.

You two untangle from each other and he puts his bag on the hook by the door. You loved Spencer’s house, it was what you wanted yours to look like. Books everywhere, almost OCD clean.

A love of books is what drew you and Spencer together so quickly.

“I think I need to shower.” Spencer announces, taking his coat off and hanging it will his bag.

“I think I’ll join you.” You smile and follow after him to the bathroom.
*
Spencer and you had been enjoying your time here. Times where he was at work, which seemed to be a lot, you found something to do.

You were never really bored, Spencer had an abundance of books and the city was interesting to explore.

You two were laying in bed, you were nearly asleep when his phone started ringing.

“Hello?” He answers, you knew he was asleep because he sounded half asleep. “Okay.” He says before hanging up.

“Who was that?” You ask curiously.

He starts getting up from bed, wearing only his robe.

“We have a case. They need me.” He gets into his dresser.

You frown, “It’s nearly two in the morning.” You whine.

He walks over to you leaning over you. “It’s all part of the job.” He kisses your lips and starts to get dressed.

You begin to doze off, the last thing you remember is Spencer covering you with a blanket and kissing your forehead.

When you open your eyes, the sun is flooding through the window, it’s just past noon.

You sit up, the house still empty. You check your phone and there is a message from Spencer. He says they had to go to New York for a case but shouldn’t be long.

You groan, you had homework to do but you wanted Spencer. You laid in bed for another hour before actually getting up. You made coffee and started right up on your homework.

You only stopped twice, to make something to eat and when Spencer called.

“I’m sorry, this really isn’t what I wanted to happen.” He apologizes over the phone.

“It’s okay, it’s your job. People need your brains.” You smile.

You can hear his laugh over the phone. You missed him, you were happy to be at his house than in your town. At least when he comes back you will be here.

“You doing okay-” Spencer starts.

“Who’s that?” You hear a voice on the other end of the line.

“I- I gotta go.” Spencer rushes.

You exchange goodbyes and hang up the phone. You knew Spencer hadn’t told his team about you. It was obvious why, you couldn’t help but feel he was embarrassed of you but you knew better than that.

You knew Spencer’s feelings for you were real, he cared so much about you and never missed a chance to show you.

Spencer had been talking to you about going to meet some of his friends tomorrow. They are meeting up at a coworkers house and he wanted you to meet them.

You couldn’t help but be nervous. He spoke so highly about his friends, you wondered what they would think.

The rest of the night you read and watched tv on your phone. Spencer of course did not have a tv which you found ridiculous. He was not that into electronics but everyone needs a tv.

You tried to stay up as late as you could, not knowing when Spencer would be home. When you found yourself falling asleep while reading a book, you knew it was time to call it a night.

It was almost 3am and you could barely keep your eyes open. You changed into one of Spencer’s shirts, surprisingly you hadn’t really worn one before. Spencer wasn’t the type of boyfriend who just gave away his shirts.

He doesn’t gets how sexy it is.

With that, you cuddled up in his bed by yourself and drifted to sleep. The next morning you woke up again around noon. You lifted your head up in bed to catch sight of the sleeping boy next to you.

A smile spread across your face, his hair is sprawled out across the pillow.

You roll closer to him and kiss his bare shoulder. You rub his back as he starts stirring. He rolls to face you and you automatically gasp.

“Spencer.” You say.

“Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it looks.” He scrunched up his beaten face.

You cup his face, “This is the thing I don’t like about your job.”

“I know.” He smiles and pulls your head down to kiss your lips.

“Come on, let’s go out to breakfast.” He suggests.

The rest of the day was amazing. You two go out to breakfast then he spends the rest of the day reading to you. Your head in his lap as he reads The Narrative of John Smith to you. You notice he barely has to look at the book but that doesn’t surprise you much.

You two start getting ready to go to Reid coworkers house.

“Are you sure you want me to come?” You look at him through the mirror of the bathroom while drying your hair, a towel wrapped around your body.

“Yes, you are an important person in my life. I want you to meet the other important people.” He comes up behind you and kisses your cheek.

Having him by your side makes you feel better about everything. When you guys load into the car, you take his hand. He smiles at you, you can tell he is nervous too.

He cares so much about his team, if they don’t approve it with crush him. When you get to the nice sized house you park out front. You both sit in the car for a couple minutes.

“I’m really excited to meet your friends, Spence. I just want you to know, if they don’t like me it won’t change anything between us.” You comfort him. You have met the team before, it was before you and Spencer had even met.

“I think they are going to love you. I think it’s just at first they will be… confused.” He says.

You two finally exit the car and make your way to the door of the modern house. Spencer knocks and plays with his fingers while waiting for it to open. When it does there is a Middle aged man on the other side of the door.

He looks at you, then to Spencer then back to you before finally greeting you.

“Well hello. You just be Y/N.” He reaches out to shake your hand. “I’m David Rossi.”

You smile and shake his hands, “I’ve heard great things about you. It’s nice to meet you.”

He invited us in and there are multiple other people standing around the kitchen island.

All eyes go over to you guys and you can see the shock on everyone’s face. You wait for someone to say something and luckily Rossi finally does.

“This is Y/N, everyone.” He introduces you. He tells you everyone else’s name.

You smile at everyone and you and Spencer slowly start to merge with the group.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Prentiss says.

She seems very nice, you already had heard so much about the team, you felt like you knew them.

“Weren’t you at the college campus we were at?” She asks.

You were surprised she remembered. They came to your college and did a presentation about what they do in the BAU. It’s actually where Spencer and you met.

“Ah! That’s where I recognized you from! You were the girl who knew everything about everything.” JJ jumps in.

You’re honored that’s what they remember about you. It’s not that you knew everything about everything, it’s just no one in your class know much about anything. So when they asked questions you were the only one who really answered.

“Well it’s good to see you again.” Prentiss says.

You nod, this is going a lot better than You’d thought.

“So how did you and Spencer get together?” They asks.

You are a bit embarrassed, it makes you feel even younger to explain how you started seeing each other.

“Well after the lecture I actually came up and asked him a couple follow up questions.” You had already thought he was attractive from the beginning of the lecture. “He answered most of them but gave me his card in case I had anymore questions. So I called him the next weekend.”

Now it’s been a couple months. Time is really flying by.

Spencer walks up beside you, you smile at him. You think he just wants make sure you are all getting along. You actually really like Prentiss and JJ.

“Can I get you guys any wine?” Rossi offers Spencer and You. That’s when You notice almost all the rest of the team has a glass of wine.

You look up at Spencer awkwardly and he scratches his head.

“She can’t uh-” He starts.

“I won’t be 21 for a couple more months.” You finish.

The team is all the sudden quiet, all the conversations that seemed to be had suddenly stopped.

Reid is quite a bit older than you He celebrated his 32nd birthday this last fall.

“So your 20?” Garcia clears up. Her and Morgan are standing together. You so would think they were together but from what You heard from Spencer that’s just how their relationship is.

You nod and everyone stays silent.

“Well I guess Reid isn’t the baby if the group anymore.” Derek finally days.

You don’t know whether to laugh or be insulted. You take a step closer to Spencer. His hand finds yours.

“ I mean we all were joking you would be perfect for him during the lecture.” Rossi says.

“Yeah, you sounded so much like him it was kind of scary. Having one Reid around is intimidating enough.” Hotch smiles.

You think Spencer was right. It was a little awkward at first but after they get to know you, your age difference won’t even be a thought in their mind.

You look up at Spencer and smile at him. He smiles at you and kisses your forehead.

Next you just have to worry about telling your parents.

2

In case you missed it. FBI director James Comey, when called to testify in a public hearing to the House Intelligence Committee revealed two key pieces of information today. 

 1), the most obvious and expected announcement being that there never was any evidence of Obama wiretapping Trump. Not that anyone *really* needed this confirmed, but he was the last line of defense for the White House to continue on with this entire farce. But I obviously don’t expect him to ever come clean about lying or apologize to President Obama. 

 2) More importantly, Comey also revealed that the FBI has an actual ongoing criminal investigation into Trump/Russia connections. 

Since July.
MONTHS BEFORE ELECTION DAY. 

While Comey was writing letters about Hilary’s emails, the FBI was also investigating possible links between the Trump campaign and the Russian hack of the DNC. 

So just to reiterate, because this is new information, there is an ongoing FBI criminal investigation looking into possible links between the Trump Campaign and Russian hacks of the US election and attacking our nations democratic process.

In case you missed it

For days when the enemy is trying to slither his way in, remember to continue:

- praying (Don’t ever stop talking to God, love. Tell Him everything. And if you’re feeling empty and like you have no words, know that it’s okay to sit in silence with Him and know that it’s okay to repeat Help me over and over and over.)

- praising Him (Put on some Praise & Worship music and sing through the tears because God is still good in the storm.)

- reading/studying His Word (Open your Bible, open your Bible, open your Bible. You want to hear God’s voice? Open your Bible. Open your heart. Read your Bible. Study your Bible. God is going to give you exactly what you need. You know this from experience.)

- leaning on others (You cannot, cannot carry all of this on your own. Reach out. Talk to someone. Hug someone. Love someone.)

How to know you are INFP

-You often feel like an alien on earth.

(INFPs are one of the rarest types. Even though we can find a lot of us chatting on the internet, it can be hard to find other INFPs in “real life”, because we tend to avoid unnecessary attention. Therefore, we can sometimes feel very alone and different.)

-You feel sorry for the last cookie in the jar.

(A lot of INFPs have a great sense of empathy. We understand other people and their feelings. In some cases, this sense of empathy can even lead us to project feelings onto inanimate objects. I once apologized to a chair for knocking my foot on it.)

-Your room or apartment is full of random, more or less useful stuff.

(Our Intuitive side mixed with our perceiving side makes us idea machines. We are interested by everything. We start tons of projects we won’t finish right now, but maybe later. We keep stuff just in case. We also keep stuff because of sentimental values. Our mind is always rolling and exploring and creating. Our space is representative of our mind.)

-You can’t put your music library on random.

(INFPs are very curious and open-minded. We understand and love many different things. If you are INFP, chances are you like a lot of different kinds of music too. So you need to make playlists unless you want to hear a piano jazz instrumental song right after some gangster rap, followed by an obscure indie band from the 80s.)

3

Did you talk to Javier after the competition?
Translation credit (a-m-n-o-s) 

Secret Revealed

prompt: Combination of: · Okay now I really need to see Batmom and Batman fighting at a league meeting and someone(maybe Question?) calling out their bs, and An imagine where the justice league guy members shamelessly flirts with batmom just to rile batman up and he snaps when superman does it? He’s all like wrapping his arms around her waist and says : my wife not yours mine" and ·Can I have one on what would happen if Green Arrow sees Batmom for the first time and not knowing who she is turns to Jason -who had been standing next to him- and ask if Batmom is single?

AN: Cute and fluffy!

Words: 845


       Clark sits down in the seat next to yours and smiles, before reaching out to take your hand. You raise one eyebrow in question but don’t pull your hand back just yet. “So, I was thinking we could have dinner tonight. I know this restaurant by the sea, really nice place.”

          You bite back a laugh before looking over your shoulder to find Bruce standing just a few feet away, his eyes focused on you and Clark. He’s not the only one though, the rest of the league are staring as well.

          You lean in close and ask, “What did my husband do to tick you off this time, Kent?”

          Clark just smiles and says, “I have to write the wedding announcements for the next month because I disagreed with him over something. Plus, this also payback for all those fake fights I’ve had to endure over the years.”

          “How about I get you back on sports and I turn you down gently?”

          He grins, “I’ll take what I can get.”

          You lean back in your chair and say, “Sorry Superman, I’ve got plans.”

          “That doesn’t answer the question Hell Cat.” You turn to face Ollie, who’s grinning at you.

          You raise an eyebrow in question “And what answer are you looking for?”

          “That yes you’re single, and that yes you’re free Friday night, because I know this unbelievable little restaurant in Milan.”

          Your eyes flash to Bruce. His teeth are clenched and the look in his eyes is enough to make Jason back slowly away.

          You frown, “Sorry, I’m busy that night too.” Your eyes slide to Clark who’s trying so hard not to laugh.

          “So who’s taken up all your free nights Hell Cat?” You turn to Hal, who is leaning against the wall. “Cause when I asked you out last month, you were busy then too.”

          You take a deep breath and say, “Well you see boys, I’m married with two kids, so that doesn’t leave a lot of room for dating.”

          There’s a moment of silence before the men burst out in laughter. The few women in the room however are studying you closely. Huntress in particular has a knowing glint in her eye.

          The laughter is still going on when Question sneaks into the room. More often than not, the man would have gone unnoticed. He’s good at sneaking around, you’ll give him that. Helena’s grin just widens before she calls out, “Question.” The man just stops and turns towards his girlfriend. His hands are in his pocket, but he’s giving her his full attention. “Truth or Lie, Hell Cat over there is married with two kids.”

          The answer comes immediately “Truth. Hell Cat is married to the Batman. They have two adopted children, Nightwing formerly known as Robin, and the current Robin. They’ve kept their relationship hidden among the League for the past eight years, simply because they found it fun to mess with people’s minds. If someone were to look close however, they’d notice that the fights they put on never lasted more than twenty minutes, and they always left together. Their children find it infuriating.”

          There’s this stunned silence before Jason cries out, “Finally!” Then spins on his toes to face Green Arrow, “My mother is not single, stay the hell away from her!”

          You ignore the surprised faces of the Leaguers in favor of Question. “When did you figure it out?”

          “My second week. I noticed that your fights, while entertaining, never subtracted from the quality of a meeting, meaning it never interfered with something that needed to be done. In the case of a crisis there would be not contention on either of your parts, even if the two of you had argued about it previously. My theory was confirmed when I spotted the two of you making out in a dark corner.”

          You hear Jason groan, “Oh come on! I’m supposed to be the teenager here, not you two.” Then he turns around to leave the room and says, “If you need me, I’ll be on the phone with Nightwing telling him that everything has finally been exposed.”

          You smile as your eyes slide to the women in the room, mainly Shayera and Vixen, who are grinning at you. You grin before asking, “Yes?”

          Shayera grins, “You’ve been holding out on us.”

          Vixen nods, “All those girl’s nights out over the years, and you never told a story.”

          “Not every day a girl kisses the Batman. Spill.”

          You smirk and say, “That’s private,” before mouthing the words ‘next girl’s night out.” That seems to satisfy them.

          Standing up you stretch and walk over to Bruce. “Let’s grab our traumatized son and go home now.”

          “Grab Jason, I’ll be there in a minute.”

          You shrug and walk out of the room. Bruce turns to Clark who’s still smiling before he says, “You can have your sports section back, but you’re covering nothing but golf, chess, and badminton for the next three months.” Clark’s smile fades and all Bruce says is, “My wife, not yours.”

break the ice, 1

Pairing:  jungkook x reader x jimin
Genre: sports au, hockey player jungkook & jimin, smut, comedy?, slight angst, fluff too :’)
Warnings: thigh riding, sexting, phone sex, pillow riding
Word Count:  18k
Summary:

There are three rules to become an official Puck Bunny:
1.     You have to love hockey. No exceptions.
2.     You have to had slept with at least three hockey players. Starters, no benchwarmers.
3.     And most importantly, have fun!

A/N: i wanted this to be a oneshot but i kept adding and adding more :( …
anyway… enjoy part 1!!

Keep reading

Please pay attention to the following:
When you see the person you “like”
does your palms get sweaty? Knees get weak?
Arms are heavy? Butterflies floating all around in your belly?
You’re nervous, but on the surface you look calm and ready
to spit game, but you keep on forgetting
the pickup line that you picked out
you’re stuck in a trance and your legs are moving now
you’re in front of the person that you like
and your feelings won’t come out – you’re choking now
the room feels smaller now, then you run to the bathroom
and it’s all over now

No I’m joking.


When you see the person you “like”
do you find yourself staring at them?
Picturing a future with them?
Having daydreams and night dreams about them?
Going through happy times and heartbreak
but not minding it one bit as long as
you’re going through all of that with them?


Stop. You’re falling victim to the Falling in Love disease. Please get that checked out before it becomes incurable.


When you see the person “like”
do you find yourself hesitant to text them?
When you press send, it feels like you’re bothering them?
And now you’re anxiously waiting for their reply
and every time your phone chimes you rush
only to be disappointed because it was your stupid game app
and waiting feels hopeless but you still have hope
and when they finally text no matter the time length
your heart is beating fast and you’re thinking
“What am I going to say next?”


Stop. You have the Falling in Love disease. Please go check with your local doctor to find a cure.


When you see the person you “like”
do you see yourself and them together
every time you hear a love song?
Do you find yourself overthinking responses
just in case they talk to you today?
Do you find yourself disappointed when they don’t talk to you
but then convince yourself that you’re fine
then go home and say you don’t need nobody
and you play i - i love myself


Stop. There’s no hope for you.


When you see the person you “like”
do you find yourself writing about them?
You never were a poet or loved poetry before
but they give you this inexplicable feeling
their presence drove you to dedicate lines to them?
And when you finally felt the courage to express your feelings
you found out that they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend
and you feel crushed because you don’t like them
you love them and that’s why like was in quotation marks


So stop because the doctor found out that you were already in love, and there’s no diagnosis on how long your heart has to live.


Are you in love? Because I am.

—  Are You in Love?
Podcast Recs

I was already making this for @dauphinedolphin (whom I’ve successfully dragged into podcast hell alongside me) so I figured I would just post it here for anyone else who might be interested! 

Note: these are just the podcasts that I’m interested in. Not everyone will enjoy them and there are many many MANY more out there that I haven’t listened to yet that are absolutely amazing. I’ve only been listening to podcasts since about October, so I haven’t listened to many yet. Also I have a significant preference towards audio dramas because I find them easier to focus on. 

All these shows can be listened to for free on iTunes. 

* = personal fave 

The Bridge******** - I literally cannot recommend The Bridge enough. It is INCREDIBLE. They excel at everything from sound editing to incredible writing to incredible voice actors and I just love it. so. fucking. much. It’s so good. And you should go listen to it right now. It’s about the crew of Watchtower 10 out on the Transcontinental Bridge, which spans the length of the Atlantic Ocean. It features spooky stories, eldritch monsters, a possessed doll and my favourite character of all time, so it’s basically the best. I’ll probably be making a separate recommendation post for it soon because there’s too much to say. 

Welcome to Night Vale - I know, I know, Night Vale Presents podcasts are on every single list and everyone’s sick of hearing about them, but seriously folks. They’re popular because they’re good. If you haven’t heard of Welcome to Night Vale before, it’s a radio show set in the fictional town of Night Vale where all sorts of weird stuff happens. 

The Orbiting Human Circus (Of the Air)* - The only other Night Vale Presents podcast that I’m gonna put on here. It follows Julian, a janitor at the Eiffel Tower who dreams of becoming a famous radio host. 

Wolf 359*** - This show. This fucking show. It’s so good y’all. If you like shows that start off kind of funny and not-so-serious before doing a complete 180 and becoming the most HEART-WRENCHING ANGST EVER then you will love it. Also kudos to them for having the best team of antagonists ever. It’s all about Doug Eiffel, the Communications Officer onboard the Hephaestus Station who finds mysterious radio signals out in deep space. But not everything is what it seems, nor is anyone who they seem… 

Wooden Overcoats - It’s all about rival funeral home directors on the small British island of Piffling. It has a lot of dark humour so if that’s your jam you should totally check it out. 

The Bright Sessions** - This is another show that’s just… so amazing. It’s about this group of humans called atypicals, who are basically superheroes (only they don’t fight crime and they have to hide their abilities from the general public). The show follows a time traveller, an empath, and a mind reader, with more atypicals popping up as the show progresses. It’s another one of those shows that gets darker as it goes, but the plot’s very character driven so you also get a TON of great character development. 

EOS 10* - Apparently the best way to describe this is “Scrubs in space”? But yeah, it’s basically a hospital drama set on the space station EOS 10. The main lead’s a recovering addict and that part of his backstory’s never ignored or glossed over, which is amazing. Also it’s my #1 feel good show sooooo…. 

The Deep Vault* - It’s the end of the world and a group of four people seek asylum in an underground vault created to help humanity survive the apocalypse. But is it really as safe as they thought? 

Archive 81 - Made by the same people who did The Deep Vault. Daniel Powell has a new job working as an archivist at Archive 81. The tapes he listens to seem to be telling a story that he’s not sure he wants to hear but knows he has to. Season two’s a little weird but season one really holds up. 

The Once and Future Nerd** - Three kids from Pennsylvania end up in a fantasy world and soon get caught up in the conspiracies and dangers that are threatening to pull it apart. This one’s got a lot of really great social commentary, particularly of fantasy tropes. 

The Strange Case of Starship Iris* - Violet Liu is the sole survivor of a shuttle explosion, but her ship is going down fast. She’s going to need whatever help she can get to make it out of this alive. Featuring the best alien you will ever meet, government conspiracies, and cases of mistaken identity that might just get you killed. 

The Far Meridian - This one’s pretty new but it’s already shaping up to be absolutely amazing. It’s all about a woman named Peri who wakes up to find that her lighthouse has mysteriously moved locations. Peri’s also agoraphobic but it’s never treated like something weird or used as a joke, which is sooo refreshing to hear. 

Bonus non-fiction podcasts: 

The Podcast History Of Our World - Exactly what it says on the tin. Each episode examines a different part of history, with the end goal of studying every single part of history. Currently somewhere in the Roman Republic.

My Brother, My Brother, And Me - Yeah so I’m slowly being dragged into McElroy brother hell… This is another one that makes basically every single list (or at least one McElroy podcast does) but for good reason. It’s really really good and really really funny. The McElroys run an advice show but their advice is not meant to be taken seriously. In fact, you really shouldn’t take their advice. 

Beginner Workout Tips

I know a lot of guys wanna improve their strength, and summer is definitely a good time for that. Many of us have more free time now that it’s summer. Perfect time to try out the gym. If you’re thinking of working on getting go the gym more this summer, I have a few tips that could really help:

Starting off is tough. Get through 2 weeks, though, and you’ll probably be able to make going to the gym a consistent habit! The first week is definitely the hardest. If you can, find a friend to work out with. Put the offer out there, and you’d be surprised who might say yes. It’s definitely more motivating to go when you have a friend going with you. It’ll keep you both accountable, on track, and motivated. Trust me, it worked for me back when I first decided to get serious about exercising.

Start taking a multi-vitamin. Sure, you should be able to get enough nutrition from food alone, but some diets have holes in them and multi-vitamins can fill those in. If you don’t have proper nutrition, you won’t see results, and you might actually strain your body. I know not all of us make the best food decisions every day. This will help your body stay on track.

Increase your protein intake on days you work out. When you lift weights, this is especially important. Meats are all high in protein. Try and make choices that tend to be lower in fats. Eggs are your best friends! Fish is great, and omega oils are Good for you, yo. Beans, peanut butter, nuts, milk, and yogurt all have protein, too (and the dairy items have calcium! an extra plus!), so don’t stress if you can’t have meat! And while we’re on the subject of protein, this is extremely important to point out: Protein shakes are NEVER a meal-replacement. Skipping meals or eating less than 2000 calories (if you’re counting) will hurt you. Seriously. Don’t do that. Protein shakes are meant to be consumed after workouts, unless they are specifically pre-workout shakes. Whey protein will be tough on those of you who are lactose-intolerant, because it’s made from milk, so even though it’s typically cheaper than other plant-based protein powders, the extra money will help you not feel terrible. The easiest on the stomach, I have found, are rice-based protein powders. If the store has little individual packets, buy different flavors and different ones to see which one(s) you like best. I personally am partial to the generic CVS chocolate flavored whey powder.

If you are just starting out on lifting, do NOT go heavy. Your muscles will build p strength faster than your tendons, so you could hurt yourself if you try to go too heavy too fast. If something hurts, do NOT do the exercise. Know your limits, and never push yourself to a crazy degree. I know you wanna impress your friends you’re at the gym with, or even the cute person you’ve been eyeing across the gym, but if you hurt yourself, you will look like a huge fool. It will ruin you. Don’t. Instead, do lighter weights with higher reps. I usually go for 3 sets of 10 reps, but you can go for anywhere from 8-12 reps. Only after you have built up a certain degree of strength would I even attempt to go heavier and even target certain body parts and muscle groups more intensely than others.

Have at least 2 rest days! Rest days are important. Your body needs to recover, or else it will never grow. You’ll also just exhaust yourself, and that’s not good. Use your rest days to just chill out. Stay hydrated and stretch so the soreness from your gym days won’t make you stiff and will dissipate faster!

Split your lift days by muscle-groups. This will keep your workouts structured and keep your body’s development proportional. I divide my days up like this: pull day (biceps and back), push day (triceps and chest with some shoulders), leg day (and yeah, don’t skip it), and shoulder day (since I just really want mine to develop well lol). I do abs every time, after I lift, but you can also do them before. Don’t skimp out with abs. Sure, it hurts, but the results are great. Core strength will really help with overall strength! I do at least 5 weight-lifting exercises for each designated day. Stretch before, and then get going! If you are unsure about your form for an exercise, most gyms have personal trainers who are willing to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask them a question! Youtube is also a great resource for videos on form. I like AthleanX’s videos, as well as Gabriel Sey’s, and Buff Dudes. Proper form is extremely important, otherwise you could strain your body or even seriously injure yourself. It’s especially important for heavier exercises.

Cardio days are good for you! Have at least 1 cardio day in your week! Walking, biking, jogging, dancing, and the elliptical are great for cardio. Swimming is also good cardio, but as a poor swimmer myself, I don’t really get much of a workout from it. If you have friends who like to play sports, soccer, basketball, etc are great for getting in some cardio and also making it fun (because jogging is honestly boring unless you jog outside or have a killer playlist). Speaking of jogging, I know this may sound silly to some of you, but try not to jog at night, especially if you’re a younger guy. Safety is important, and believe it or not, younger men in their 20s are the most common victims of violent crime. Know where you are, jog with a friend or two, be aware of your surroundings (if your music is so loud you can’t hear the cars passing by, turn it down a notch), and have your phone available in case you need to make a call. If things look iffy, call it a night and go home. If you’re in a hospital (or freaking dead), you won’t be working out much anymore.

This may sound silly, but celebrate your results! Get excited over your gains. Take selfies, flex in the mirror, admire those veins that pop that weren’t there before. Also, little tip: the secret to getting arms that look bigger is working your triceps. They’re more of your arms than your biceps, so even though nice biceps look hot, good triceps will make you look stronger. It’ll make you look impressive! And being excited about your results from all your hard work will help keep you motivated!

Those are a lot of tips, so that’s enough for now. If you have questions that are more specific, my ask box is open and you can even message me if you’d prefer. Don’t be afraid if you don’t know anything about working out – that was once me, too. I ain’t gonna judge you, yo. Like I said, I don’t have any professional knowledge, but I figured some of what I know may be helpful. I won’t be able to answer every question you send my way, but if I can find a video or article that can, I will definitely send that your way instead. Have fun, and try and stay motivated! Best of luck on them gains, yo.