in a terrible sweater

It’s Boxing Day but these assholes will wear their ugly sweaters until after New Years you can’t stop them.

vernon; the boy next door (m)

genre/warnings: fluff/romance/smut, flangst, adorkableness, use of non-penetrative sex toys, (not so) dry humping

word count:  14737

feat: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, Joshua, Jeonghan + various 

prompts: roommate!Vernon, silliness, cuddles, mac n’cheese = love 

(a/n) my birthday project for my muse. thank you for everything vern:) and kisses for @vernkn​ who gifed my soft sweater vernon aesthetic. enjoy!

She loved Joshua Hong.

When she was so graciously offered to live in her aunt’s vacation penthouse close to her university of choice, the only catch was that she had to pay some of the bills. Completely fair, because it was a kind enough gesture to give away a freshly furnished space to a niece you barely talked to. Luckily, there was enough room for another guest, enough to split the rent.

So in comes the savior of her life, brother from another mother, Joshua Hong, decked out in sandy beige Sperry’s and ironed white jeans. Fresh from South California, he wore their sunshine on his smile, and their attitude in his Cheshire eyes. He was attending the same university as well, and was conveniently looking for a means to stay. Needless to say, she pounced on him at orientation before he could ask anyone else.

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some tips on reading xmen comics
  • if scott is in a helmet it means it’s all gone to shit
  • magneto is a good guy actually except for when he’s a bad guy except for when he’s a good guy
  • if u see a character that u think might be jean grey it actually might be madelynne pryor. the way to know who it is is: check the clothes. terrible sweater? jean. cute dress? maddy
  • illyana can be any age at any time 
  • if you can’t understand rogue or kurt’s accents written out just assume they’re saying, respectively: “i’m gonna kick some ass [random overly southern idiom],” or “gosh i love pirates”
  • sometimes betsy braddock can teleport and sometimes she can’t it’s honestly up to you
  • artie changes color. no one knows why.

remus never once asking tonks to change her appearance from whatever she wants it to be

tonks very gently and quietly bandaging and healing remus’s cuts and bruises the day after the full moon

remus giving a tiny smirk and happily giving tonks piggyback rides and carrying her bridal style whenever she accidentally and inevitably hurts herself tripping over one thing or another

tonks secretly loving remus’s grandpa style of clothing and going to mrs. weasley to try to learn how to knit cardigans and sweaters herself and fails terribly but remus wears whatever the outcome is with pride anyway

remus and tonks being totally badass and unstoppable in the missions they were sent on for the order and everyone secretly thinking they should hook up and rejoicing when they announced their marriage

REMUS AND TONKS (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Summary: Harry searches for his missing hoodie that was taken by [Y/N]. When confronted, [Y/N] playfully denies ever having it, but Harry’s got paparazzi photo proof. **FLUFF**

~ Requested ~ | Requests are open

“The Missing Hoodie”

You were woken up by the weight of a heavy arm rested over your stomach and loud snoring. You turned over and saw Harry peaceful and in deep sleep. Your eyes shifted over to your clock. 7:00 AM, it read. “Shit,” you whispered to yourself. You slowly moved Harry’s arm off of you, careful not to wake him, and placed a kiss on his temple. It was Harry’s day off after seven continuous days of working. You wanted Harry to sleep in and replenish his strength and energy. You had a laundry lists of things to do before you headed to work. You had your morning run, then grocery shopping to restock the refrigerator and pantry for Harry, as well as cook breakfast. You needed to move quickly if you wanted to get everything done before he woke.

Your footsteps were light and quiet as you scrambled around the house to get ready. You were careful not to make too much noise. You grabbed the nearest items of clothing you could find— black leggings you found in a hamper, a hoodie that laid on the sofa, a cap hung up by the door. You tip-toed back into the bedroom and kiss Harry softly on his forehead. “Good morning baby, I’ll be back,” you whispered, “I love you.”

You threw on your Nikes, grabbed your sunglasses and keys that were on the table by the door, and were on your way.

It was a peaceful run around the neighborhood. You and Harry bought a home just on the outskirts of the city away from the madness but still within reach of everything necessary. There weren’t too many paparazzi in your area but occasionally some would show up. A few fans knew where you and Harry resided but respectfully kept their distance and honored your privacy.

After your run, you headed straight to the grocery store. You went through your grocery list on your phone and bought everything  you thought Harry might need. Harry had mentioned how, as much as possible, he wanted to stay home on his day off. As grateful as he was, he needed a break from the chaos that surrounded him and wanted to remain within the calm, safe, private perimeters of his home.

You returned home with just enough time to whip up Harry’s favorite breakfast. Once everything was cooked, you hopped into the shower, and got ready for work. You were applying your everyday makeup in your bathroom when Harry sleepily walked in, wrapping his arms around your waist and snuggling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Good mornin’, baby,” he said groggily.

“Hey, sleepy head,” you giggled, “What are you doing up? It’s still early.”

“I didn’t feel you next to me. Come back to bed,” he whined, tugging slightly on your arm.

“I’ve got work, babe,” you told him. A pout formed on his lips. You turned to face Harry and draped an arm around his neck while your other hand wiped the sleep from his eyes. You got on your toes and placed a kiss on his lips. “Guess what?”

“What?” he asked.

“I made you your breakfast,” you smiled.

“You did?” he asked excitedly, a grin forming on his lips.

“Mhmm,” you nodded, “It’s downstairs waiting for you.”

“I love you,” he whispered before kissing you once more, pulling you towards him, closing all gaps, and savoring every second of this sweet, innocent intimacy.

“I’ll meet you downstairs,” you told him.

Harry nodded and made his way downstairs into the kitchen. Once you finished getting ready, you followed. Harry was sat at the dining table with his breakfast nearly finished as he scrolled through his phone. “You woke up hungry,” you teased, eyeing his almost empty plate.

Harry smiled back sheepishly. “It’s delicious,” he told you, “I’ve been craving a decent breakfast. The muffin’s Jeff’s been buyin’s shit.” For the past seven days, Jeff had been buying the same bland muffins every for the team. He claimed it to be “a quick, healthy meal”. Everyone hated it.

“Well, I stocked our fridge and pantry,” you said, “If you need anything else, just let me know and I’ll get it on my way home.”

“You di’n’t have to do that,” he said appreciatively.

You shrugged, “I wanted to. You work really hard— for the both of us. It’s the least I could do. I want you to have a nice day off.”

Harry opened his arms, an invitation to sit on his lap. You accepted and kissed his pink lips. “What are your plans today?” you asked him.

“Dunno,” he answered shrugging, “Maybe have a run. Stay home, mostly. Wait for you to come home.”

“I’ll be back before you know it,” you assured him. “Get some rest today.”

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at the museum

Sterek fic inspired by the last minute or so of this ridiculous video (it has subtitles if you wanna watch it).

Of course the first time Stiles sees Derek Hale since high school just has to be on the day he’s finally gotten Lydia from Marketing to agree to go out with him. That’s how the universe works, apparently, always giving Stiles the shittiest luck.

They’re at the Beacon Hills Museum, because he thought that would be something she’d like and it’s definitely something he likes, only it’s looking like he thought wrong. In fact, he’s pretty sure she’s covertly reading an ebook on her phone while Stiles is geeking out over the exhibits.

It happens when Stiles has finally given up on the museum part of this date and taken Lydia downstairs to the food court. She’s just declared that on her diet she can’t eat anything on this menu, and Stiles has just seen his chances of landing a second date dropping dangerously close to zero, and that’s when he looks over and spots Derek standing a few feet away, arm in arm with a hot girl, all dimples and glossy brunette curls and a jawline sharp enough to rival Derek’s.

Of course Derek would have a hot girlfriend while Stiles is utterly failing at the first date he’s been on in six months, and of course Derek would happen to show up here and rub it in Stiles’ face. Of course.

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A Star Wars Holiday Special… because flower wreath crowns and terrible Christmas sweaters are universal X)

Happy holidays friends, and may the Force be with you! :D <3

Peeping Tom

When I was twelve years old I peeped into a girl’s window for the first and last time.

I lived in a pretty boisterous area of town, not too far away from the nearby college. Right down the street was a house leased to a group of maybe five to six girls. The neighborhood didn’t mind them, they didn’t have crazy parties or trash the place. In fact one of them had a habit of bringing my mom cookies, as a thank you for being so welcoming to the area.

It’s how my brother Elliot got the idea in the first place.

Carla was honestly really nice. Had a great smile, always had a joke to crack, and was even nice to me. However, Elliot had a different thought process, having two years of age on me and a little less respect.

“Carla has rainbow polka dot panties, you know.”

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Lazy Days with SNK Baes

A Modern AU :)

▪Can’t get out of bed omg
▪Seriously the worst
▪Don’t expect breakfast because Eren’s ass is not going to get up and make it
▪Likes to spend lazy days on the couch or in bed watching Netflix or something
▪Really likes Orange is the New Black
▪Surprisingly not because of the lesbians
▪He always tries to find shows that he and his s/o can watch together

▪Wakes up at like the asscrack on dawn
▪Starts every morning with a kiss, even if her s/o isn’t awake yet
▪Does make breakfast
▪It is not good
▪Doesn’t want to stay inside all day, she probably invested in a nice patio
▪She made sure there was a spot for her s/o to read, work, or play
▪Every vegetable or fruit she eats, she grew herself
▪Probs lives right between Eren and Armin
▪They try to come over…
▪Answers the door with a bra and shorts on
▪Whoever is at the door is too scared to protest and just walks back home

▪He will make his s/o breakfast
▪It is simple and spectacular
▪He isn’t a good cook, but he knows how to make, like, 3 things very, very well
▪Contrary to popular belief, he doesn’t like to read on his days off, at least nothing too heavy
▪His beautiful brain needs to rest too
▪He likes the Hobbit and reads a chapter every single day out loud to his s/o, even if they hate it
▪Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles
▪They are his favorite and he will spend most of the day tangled with his s/o

▪You bet your sweet ass that this boy wakes up and starts fucking
▪He is ready to go
▪Then he wraps his s/o up in the softest, warmest blanket and makes them breakfast
▪Brings it to them in bed
▪They laugh and spend the day doing nothing except talking or playing video games
▪Orders pizza or some sort of takeout then decides to have sex until they delivery guy gets there
▪He brings the food back into the bedroom and the two eat and laugh while tangled in the bedsheets
▪Then they finally shower and cozy back into bed to start the next day

▪Always wakes up before his s/o to watch them sleep because they just look so peaceful
▪Weirdly horny
▪If he feels like it, he’ll try to wake his s/o up by going down on them
▪Of course he makes breakfast, he isn’t some cheap shot boyfriend
▪(He totally buys pre-made stuff or runs to a fast food place for breakfast)
▪Loves these days more than anything
▪Doesn’t want to use technology or anything that could distract him from his s/o
▪Plays board games or cheesy games like “Truth or Dare” or “Never Have I Ever”

▪Neither of them do anything
▪They’re too comfortable to even get out of bed
▪No one eats
▪No one drinks
▪Pure serenity
▪It’s actually really nice
▪She’ll murder anyone who interrupts his day

▪Probably wakes his s/o up by dry humping them
▪He didn’t mean to, but now someone has to finish it
▪Just kidding he definitely wouldn’t force anything but it’s a 95% chance something would happen
▪Does not allow his s/o to leave the bedroom except to use the bathroom
▪He likes to spend the day cuddled up and talking
▪Loves movie days
▪Makes popcorn and buys crappy snacks and candies
▪They can usually never finish a movie without someone falling asleep or an argument over obscure plot points
▪He totally spoils movies by accident

▪His s/o usually wakes up crushed because of his odd sleeping positions
▪He likes to make pastries for breakfast
▪Muffins are his favorite ones to experiment with
▪The house always smells heavenly
▪He peppers their face with kisses get them up and going
▪It’s like a puppy kissing your face, amazing
▪Lots of love comes from him in the form of pinky-holding, hugs, kisses, and tickles around the house
▪There’s no specific thing he likes to do, he tends to go with the flow

▪Grumpy as hell
▪Loves spooning in the morning
▪They both survive off of cereal and Pop-Tarts in the mornings
▪Likes to binge TV shows
▪Finished Gilmore Girls in a week
▪No one knows how, her s/o doesn’t even know and they were there
▪Freakishly good at cooking when she wants to be, but it’s very rare because then she has to find a recipe and go shopping and yadda yadda
▪Ymir likes lazy days and thoroughly enjoys doing nothing with the love of her life

▪She is such a heavy sleeper
▪It’s so hard to get her up
▪Her s/o has tried everything: dropping water on her, pinching her arm, moving the bed into the street
▪She, like Ymir, also tends to have only cereal and Pop-Tarts
▪Once she is up, she wants to do everything
▪She likes to go shopping, get her hair or nails done, or something she couldn’t normally do
▪Her s/o usually tags along, but they’re probably wiped out by the 3rd or 4th activity
▪She still likes to spend time with them, even if they’re dead asleep by eight o'clock that night

▪He SmElLs So TeRrIbLe WhEn He WaKeS uP gOoD gOd
▪It is seriously an issue and the worst wake up call
▪The first thing his s/o does is make him shower, then they can eat
▪He makes his days off the best they can be
▪He likes to learn a new skill, exercise, or even make something
▪Connie likes to make his s/o do these things with him and try to make it into a form of competition 
▪Loser buys dinner
▪Connie loses on purpose to be a gentleman
▪Likes to crash with his s/o at the end of the day and talk about the events of the day
▪They cuddle when they sleep, Connie is the little spoon

▪She makes bomb ass cubed potatoes and bacon
▪Her s/o likes to come behind her when cooking and wrap their arms around her waist
▪Sasha likes to stop cooking and turn the hug into a dance party
▪Then whatever she was cooking lights on fire and she has to put it out quickly before returning and initiating a make out session
▪As much as they both love food, no one really eats on Sasha’s day off and it’s honestly just a really big mess
▪But they really, really tried

▪For someone who works a lot, he is the worst person to wake up before 8 am
▪Really horny in the mornings
▪Morning Sex
▪"Breakfast" Sex (“A man has to eat (Name)”)
▪Shower Sex
▪Then he really does make breakfast
▪Dad material breakfast like pancakes and bacon and eggs and oranges and toast and everything ever
▪Doesn’t have much down time, but when he does he likes to do things with his hands like woodworking or welding or something
▪If someone needs him, he automatically shuts them down because this is his day off, damn it and he will spend this day with someone he loves
▪If it’s an emergency and they show up at his house he answers door with no shirt and only boxers (also bed head)

▪Also, like Mikasa, wakes up at the asscrack of dawn
▪Mainly works out though
▪Let’s his s/o sit on his back while he does push ups so he can be close to them and have the extra weight
▪If his s/o doesn’t wake up to help him with his workout, he makes it quick then crawls back into bed
▪Will not do anything sexual before both him and his s/o have brushed their teeth
▪Then it’s game on
▪Bed, shower, floor, kitchen table, kitchen floor, counter, couch, you name it and he’ll do it
▪Will do anything his s/o wants, even if it’s something he abhors
▪Even though it’s his day off, he wants to spend it being happy with them
▪He’ll skip cleaning that day to be with them
▪These kinds of days need to be perfect and he will do anything to make them that way

▪She needs to sleep in, omg please let her sleep in
▪Hanji works so hard and she needs to have a good night’s sleep to function correctly
▪She really does sleep until about noon though
▪When she wakes up, she usually makes her own breakfast and lunch for her s/o
▪It’s her way of apologizing for spending the day sleeping instead of with them
▪She bends down to give her s/o the plate then pulls it back and steals a kiss instead
▪Most days she’ll share her conspiracy theories with her s/o, but occasionally she will just lay down and watch cheesy movies and critique them as if the two of them were professional critics
▪They are very harsh about it

▪A light sleeper
▪If his s/o starts to shuffle or toss and turn, he automatically wakes up and waits for them to open their eyes for the day
▪He is also amazing at cooking
▪Loves the smell of turkey bacon so he makes it all the time, but it’s always spiced differently so his s/o never gets tired of it
▪He totally installed a pool out in his backyard
▪It’s saltwater though, he hates the smell of chlorine
▪His s/o likes to float in the pool and read, but Mike sits on the poolside because he is wayyyyyyyy too tall to fit on a float
▪Sometimes he does get in and mess with them
▪Which ends up in a splashing war
▪Needs more days off, save this precious man

▪Nana always wakes her s/o up in such a sweet way
▪She likes to rub their stomach or arm enough to arouse them, but not enough to bother them
▪Has a strict morning routine
▪After they both wake up, they immediately get in the shower (no time for any fooling around sadly), eat, then brush their teeth together and make lovey dovey eyes at each other in the mirror
▪…Then they realize they’re both off that day
▪The two of them sit on the couch in silence for about an hour trying to figure out what to do
▪Nanaba decides to try and learn something new, and turns to Pinterest (Nanaba loves Pinterest pass it on)
▪They both decide on knitting
▪Her s/o runs to get yarn while she stays home and decides what they’re going to make
▪She decides on matching sweaters
▪They’re absolutely terrible
▪Sweaters are not a beginner’s project
▪They made a strong attempt
▪And they failed
▪Maybe next time she’ll find a scarf pattern

▪This man works out so much to keep his weirdly attractive dad/school teacher appearance
▪He has an exercise routine for every day of the week, morning and night
▪Sex is included in almost every plan
▪Sometimes as a warm up, sometimes as a cool down
▪His s/o does not protest
▪Actually they do sometimes, he gets really sweaty and it’s kind of gross
▪Other than that, his days off are pretty open to whatever 
▪His favorite thing to do is nothing 
▪He never gets to do nothing
▪His s/o gets a little restless because sometimes, it really is nothing
▪No books, no TV, no cuddling, just sitting in silence
▪Most times they are okay with it, just every once in a while they can’t handle it
▪Zeke thinks it’s sort of funny when they start shaking their foot or sighing unnecessarily loud

▪Wakes his s/o by pinning their arms above their heads
▪They wake up with him right in their face
▪Once their eyes are wide open, he kisses them and starts to play fight
▪They lose when he grabs their ass and melt into him
▪Once he’s claimed victory, he gets up and tries to scrounge something up for breakfast
▪He likes to continue the fighting (and kissing) all throughout the day
▪Going to take a shower?
▪Pork boy has his towel-clad s/o against a wall
▪This boy is a huge tease
▪He always ends the lazy day of play fighting with some soft sex, then he collapses onto their chest and looks forwards to the next day

▪Likes a lot of cuddles
▪Doesn’t let her s/o leave the bed, clings like a mosquito in Texas
▪She likes to read, preferably comics, she’s a huge nerd
▪You bet your ass she’s seen every superhero movie, even Howard the Duck