Abled people seem to think that most people’s problems can be solved by just having a little confidence.
It’s ironic that they think that, because the best way to completely destroy someone’s confidence is to give them oversimplified advice, which they do all the time. When you give someone oversimplified advice, you make it possible for them to do it wrong while technically doing exactly what you say.
For example, imagine that you struggle to make friends. Someone gives you oversimplified advice like “talk to people”. You take the advice and try to meet people by saying hi to random strangers. It doesn’t work, because most people don’t like random strangers approaching them. However, you followed the advice exactly, and you’ve probably seen plenty of characters on TV who have no trouble meeting people that way. You try the advice again by starting a conversation with your classmates at school. But because you don’t actually know what to say to them, it just ends up being an awkward, forced conversation that doesn’t lead anywhere. Eventually, you start to think, “I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to do and it just keeps blowing up in my face. There must be something wrong with me.”
If you really want someone to have confidence, the best thing you can do is believe them when they say that they can’t do something, and either explain to them step by step how to do it or help them find an alternative that they can do. If you do that, they’ll think, “I can’t do this the exact way that other people do, but that’s okay. There are other ways to do it.”