My mom is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to a real life hero. She’s an everyday person, but the effort she puts into whatever it is she does, is extraordinary. And seeing her break down because she can’t provide for us as a single mom just crushes my heart. I’m not a socially emotional person, I can’t show what I’m feeling, so maybe that’s one reason why I distance myself from her sometimes. Because those moments when she’s broken, I just can’t deal with it. I can barely deal with what I feel, I don’t actually, I just push it away. So seeing her so full of emotion and pain and worry, all I could do was hug her and tell her to turn to God for help, because I can’t. I’m sorry mom, I wish I was stronger for you. I wish that with everything going on, I could be there for you. But in all honesty I’m not worried. My family is strong in faith, and we live our lives for none other than him. God has always been with us, he has always provided and caught us when we needed him to, so why should this time be any different? I have complete and total faith in him, and I’m at peace with whatever he puts in our journey. I just wish sometimes I could feel more, and that I could be there for those who need me. I think the worst part of this though, is I was just sitting there and all I could think of is how this is just another reason not to trust people. You let them in and they hurt you. I feel like I’ll never be able to fully trust anyone, and this was just another reminder of that flaw. If you were really christian, how could you do this to my family? If you lived by your faith, you wouldn’t have done this to us. I forgive you though.. I’m not focusing on what you did to my family, but what God can do for us, to get us out of this mess.