DRAFT 1/13/ 2025 2:34 pm
Im so angry at you for leaving me. You almost had me fooled.
DRAFT 1/13/2015 11:49 PM
They say the first night of heartbreak is the hardest. But I never expected this unbearable pain in my chest. I’ve smoked a pack and a half today. And I can almost hear your voice in my head telling me to slow down. I dont want to listen in fear of not hearing it. Please don’t go away
DRAFT 1/14/2015 4:07 PM
You told me you’d mail my stuff back. I guess I was secretly hoping you’d be forced to see me one last time. Maybe then you’d change your mind. But I guess life never really works the way we want it to, it just throws us into battlefield without armor. And god do I feel naked. Give me my fucking sweater back. Im so cold without you
DRAFT 1/14/2015 5:59 PM
Remember the first time I told you i was in love with you? We were laying in my bedroom talking too much to pay attention to the tv. I traced the words on your back 27 times, making you guess what i was writing. When you finally understood you just smiled at me. And about 30 minutes later you whispered “I think im in love with you too” out of no where. And I guess that’s how this happened. You left out of nowhere. Just like how lied out of nowhere.
DRAFT 1/14/2015 10:25 PM
Did you ever really love me? Did you mean anything that came out of your mouth? Or was it all bullshit?
DRAFT 1/15/2015 1:34 PM
I took a shower too hot this morning because I know how you like your water luke warm. Tuesday came on Pandora and I sang it at the top of my lungs because you always thought it was annoying and “repetitive”. I felt free for almost a moment. Free of hurt and sadness. But then I realized the water was on my back not my face. I was crying.
DRAFT 1/15/2015 3:04 PM
There was someone else wasn’t there?
DRAFT 1/15/2015 5:05 PM
I hate you so fucking much. Fuck you. Fuck whoever you left me for. I wish I had never met you.
DRAFT 1/15/2015 5:10 PM
I didnt mean that im sorry baby…dont go
DRAFT 1/15/2015 5:29 PM
Im sorry I wasn’t what you needed. Im sorry I got mad when you fucked that girl. Im sorry I would get jealous so often. Im sorry I’d call you out on your lies. Im sorry I cared too fucking much to let you go and do whatever you want. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry.
DRAFT 1/16/2015 2:56 AM
If I spray paint the words “I miss you” on every building you drive by on the way to work in the mornings will you come back?
DRAFT 1/16/2015 8:56 AM
It doesn’t hurt as bad today…but it still feels like you’re turning the knife that’s permanently stuck through my heart
DRAFT 1/18/2015 3:05 AM
I saw you tonight on the dance floor. Actually you were the only thing I saw on the dance floor
DRAFT 1/18/2015 3:06 AM
Im so tempted to press send. To ask you to stay one last time. There is nobody else that I will love like you. No two loves are identical babe. But even if they were id have to throw the towel in because it is you that I want to take Sunday morning baths with despite the fact that I hate seeing my naked body in any form. I wouldn’t mind it so much with you in my arms. I hope the nights treat you well and I hope you don’t look at yourself too long in the mirror. I hope your brother calls you and I hope you go to the zoo a lot this summer. I hope one day you can walk through your hallway in the dark without getting chills and god do I hope that your diet consists of more than the emptyness of your stomach. How i wish you would call me and say baby i was wrong I don’t want to ever see a Tuesday without your smile. But this is not a romantic comedy and I am not fucking Mila kunis. I hope you’ll look back and be able to remember how fiercely I loved you. I hope you’ll hear my name and you’ll laugh thinking of the day we went to the beach and you got food poisoning. I took care of you all night. You’ll laugh because you’ll miss me. You’ll miss me. And baby am i going to miss you? Yes the answer will forever be yes. It will be your eyes I see in my dreams when I am 32 laying next to my wife. It will be you. It will be you. It will be you. It will fucking be y o u
SENT 1/18/2015 3:29 AM
Goodbye my love….