improvement of humor

Me: I’m gonna be super productive today and talk to people and do chores and go out into society and hey maybe I’ll even read or engage in my interests

Autistic Burnout: ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ

character development! mista trust fund kid has improved his humor by .01%

anonymous asked:

honestly seokjin is one of the most perfect men ever .... like he can sing, he knows how to improve, hes humorous, hes tall, he has wide shoulders, great features and proportions, hes social, hes really silly and down to earth, knows how to appreciate his fans, ... on top of all that hes a gentlemen like .... jin is so perfect why tho

one time I was playing an improv game where you tried to one up your partner on the more depressing scenario, and my partner and I were last. when it was our turn, I started with, “my dog died” and she replied with, “well, both of my dogs died,” and I panicked and just kind of said, “my mom killed my dog,” and everyone was either laughing their ass off or looked horrified

hannahtheblah  asked:

I came across your stuff (totally in love) and I'm just... a bit... confused... about you and Rob B? Like, how did that entire... thing start... ? (so many ellipses) (*「・ω・)ン?

thanks! BUT I DON’T KNOW

so to finally figure it out, i’m going to sit down and actually go back to The Beginning and create a brief timeline wherein i try to work out what happened and when SO PREPARE YOURSELF (i’ll put it under a break for ur consideration)

Keep reading

Poly show idea

After hearing my wife and gf spending he weekend together while I am away for work I thought if a cute poly skit.

*full suit man comes into house, puts hat on rack, puts briefcase down*
‘Honeys, I’m home.’
*two 1950’s aesthetic women come out of the kitchen*
'Welcome home honey’.
*one wife in a power suit kisses man*
'well I am off to work. Someone has to keep the gears and cogs turning. You two behave now.’
*leaves*
*man sits in large chair*
'How was your day my dear?
*1950’s victory curl housewife*
'It was lovely. We went to a protest at town hall, picked up a honey ham, and I made a coffee cake while [other wife] fixed the faucet that has been leaking.
*man holds her hand*
That is lovely. I love honey ham, and that faucet has been such a hassel. I am just useless at plumbing.

So, everyone loves lucy meets poly.
Ehh?! Ehh!?

THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

Annoying guy: “Do you speak German?”

Me: “…Yeah.”

Guy: “No you don’t.”

Me: “Okay, whatever.”

Guy: “Wait, you really speak German? Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”

Me: “You don’t have to ask me the same question twice in a row. Don’t you know how to say anything else in German?”

Guy: “Ein Bier, bitte!” *cracks up laughing*

Me: “Seh ich aus wie ne Kellnerin oder was? Wenn du nen Drink willst… hol dir selbst einen runter.”

(ETA: explanation/translation)

He said “One beer, please!” (a classic line for tourists who don’t know how to say anything else in German) and I said “Do I look like a waitress? If you want a drink, go get one yourself.” Except the particular way I said “go get one yourself” also happens to mean the German equivalent of “Go f*** yourself.” (Literally: “go jerk yourself off”)

youtube

Robin Williams’ Hilarious Shakespeare Improvisation, Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show.

And this is the person TEACHING the seminar...

(A frantic guest rushes to the desk.)

GUEST: Oh please, oh please, oh please. Do you have a staple?
CONCIERGE: Sure!

(Concierge hands over a stapler.)

GUEST: Thank God! These are my good pants and they’re coming undone.

(Guest proceeds to staple pants together to hold them up.)

GUEST: You’re a life saver. I’m teaching a self-help seminar upstairs and I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t have stapler for my pants!

youtube

tbh this is the weirdest video i have made which is truly saying something hahaha 

2

“Gather round. Gather round. Step right up.”

“With me today I have brought a fascinating new tool, straight from the orient. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the awesome might of the ‘hair brush’. Behold(!): before and after.”

“Next week I’ll bring with me this mysterious new tool. They call it ‘razor’”