impossible-standards

drama-ostrich  asked:

Match-up please? Blue Gray eyes,Pastel blue hair,Asexual,owns 5 cats,collects random stuff from rocks to killer dolls,shy with resting bitch face,i only open up to close friends,i love my sweaters,i tend to scratch holes in my clothing and blankets if im calm or sleepy,love cuddles,i don't know how to date,i have never even dated anybody because my standers are on the top shelf that i can't reach,hate spiders so much,very fussy when it comes to food,love sugary food,hates spiders,hordes chips

I’d match you with Underfell Papyrus.

You own five cats?  Fantastic, you’re about to be cat-parent to Doomfanger.  Edge has IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS, so the fact that your standards are on the top-shelf means that only SOMEONE AS TERRIBLY GREAT as him could possibly meet them.  Also, your blue hair fascinates him.  It sets you apart from other humans and catches his eye.  He doesn’t understand the concept of hair dye.

He also hates spiders because of a run-in with Muffet during his patrols years ago, so he has no qualms about killing them.  He considers himself to be quite the culinary genius, so you may end up arguing over food.  He’s just as picky, only he hates chisps and greasy food.  

Edge has never dated before, either, so you’ll both be a bit lost when it comes to that, buuuut… he has a dating manual, so there’s that.  Follow the steps and see how it goes.

*Matches are closed.

the false feminine vision that has been unfurled by contemporary popular culture in the last decade is a sort of vast velveteen curtain that hides women’s reality while claiming to be its mirror. […] its thick drapery has both concealed the political assault on women’s rights and become the impossible standard by which american women are asked to judge themselves. its false front has encouraged each woman to doubt herself for not matching the image in the mass-produced mirror, instead of doubting the validity of the mirror itself and pressing to discover what its nonreflective surface hides.
—  susan faludi, backlash

like these posts are so stupid because the answer is so damn obvious. OF COURSE people are going to be tougher on shows that have diverse casts, they have to be! 

complacency and forgiveness only allows writers to assume that they can continue making these poor choices and get away with it. its odd that people only complain about others having “impossibly high standards” simply because they criticized it. as if we need to lower the bar that badly

Things toxic friends do

-Guilt trip you for liking things they don’t
-Humiliate you in public
-Give you the silent treatment and won’t tell you why
-“Forgive you” for being hurt by something they did or said
-Point out at every single flaw you have, with emphasis on the fact that despite that they still “love” you
-Think every thing you like is stupid or useless and say it
-Say one thing and do the exact opposite (“I’m obsessive, I understand if you want to end this friendship with me :)”)
-THREATEN TO TELL EVERYONE YOUR SECRETS IF THE FRIENDSHIP EVER ENDS
-Get offended when you don’t want to share your private things, such as a journal, with them (“if you really tell me everything there’s nothing I don’t know written in there”).
-Keep track of your online activity (“you were online at this time and you didn’t message me”)
-Try and pit people against you
-Think they’re a victim
-Hold you up to impossible standards you can’t or don’t want to meet
-Demand you cancel your plans for them
-Laugh at your insecurities and issues, dismissing them as “shit that’s only in your head”

breaking the cycle: gotg2 and the theme of toxic masculinity

It’s taken me, oh, about a month to organize my thoughts on this and they’re still a mess, but I have all these snippets in my head about how GOTG2 deconstructs toxic masculinity, and hey! you’re gonna get them now

Toxic masculinity is basically the concept that socializing men and boys to be a certain ‘masculine’ way, and criticizing them or ridiculing them when they fail to live up to these (often impossible or even abusive) standards, is ultimately harmful to everyone, men and women alike. Ever wonder why you flinch at dudes yelling “man up!” to their crying young sons instead of comforting them? Yeah, that’s why.

Anyway, regarding GOTG: a lot of this stuff revolves around Yondu and the Yondu-Peter relationship, but also (I totally love this) a large portion of it also revolves around a white, straight, able-bodied man who is quite literally called ‘Ego’. spoilers follow, naturally-

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Still can’t figure out colors to save my damn life.
I headcanon that the reason Erina never re-married is because she could never find another man who could reach the impossibly high standards of both personality & physique set by Jonathan Joestar.

it gets harder to talk about but it gets easier to hold it in. to sit up prettier, to shut up louder, to pretend i don’t want you when all i want is to give in, to hold back the tears at the bar and release them once i get into my own bed, to pretend i want to exist. i want to exist. i want to exist. if i say it enough times, even i believe it. but suddenly, i’m a couple drinks in and i remember how unhappy i really am and everybody’s having fun around me but i can’t breathe anymore and my friend tells me i’m a wimp for never expressing my anger when the second i express it, there is always someone there to invalidate it. it’s getting easier to call myself crazy as an excuse for feeling, as if i’m not allowed to feel, as if this pressure build-up in my head is nothing but unequal brain chemistry, and everybody is so easy to brush off my emotions as being a product of mental illness instead of re-evaluating their own actions and wondering how in the world they could have made me feel this way.

so yeah, to say i’m mad is an understatement. to say i’m mad would even be lying. because it goes deeper than this feeling i experience once in a while, the real truth is that i’m sad and that sadness runs deep. i’m hurt. i feel like nobody even cares if they hurt me and the second i even suspect i am offending a stranger, i say sorry. but people run from me instead of apologize because their pride is more important than my feelings and it’s always been that way. i fall in love with anyone who shows me affection and people think it’s weird but when you’ve been deprived for so long from people who will listen, i don’t know, it’s hard. it’s still hard to believe that the second i start spilling my emotions, people talk over me. nobody wants to be with the person who brings up serious conversations at parties. nobody wants to be there for the girl who is always sad. everyone wants to pretend it doesn’t exist. and the more they pretend, the more i realize i’m getting good at this.

so i try to shut up until i can’t. like this time last year, i was showing up to your house to scream at you because i spent so much time holding everything in. but last night, i sent you fifteen text messages and deleted every one before i pressed send and i know no one’s gonna be there to congratulate me but maybe i can start being proud of myself because i don’t know how else i’m going to make this inadequate feeling end. you know, maybe i just have to keep trying things until i find something that works, maybe i just have to fly through boys until i find someone who isn’t gonna leave, maybe i just have to realize that the only person i’m ever going to truly have is me and i should stop holding people to impossible standards because they’re never going to live up to them and i’m always going to end up disappointed. nobody’s ever gonna care the way i want them to. it’s like i’m impossible to please. but god, i don’t know - i just wish for one second, someone would be excited about something because i am. be sad about something because i am. make me feel like my feelings affect others in some way. like they mean something. i’m growing so tired of the blank stares they give me.

i don’t know. maybe i’ve always asked for too much but i can’t remember the last time someone told me they loved me and if we’re being honest here: it’s devastating. i’m sad. i feel like i have nobody left. everyone likes me at first because i am so outgoing - i say what i’m thinking - but they leave soon after they realize that i am too much to deal with and they don’t really want to hear what’s in my head. they turn away because my insecurities make them nervous and who wants to deal with the girl who asks you if you hate them every five seconds? you say you don’t hate me but your body language tells me everything. i know i’m getting annoying but i can’t stop so i keep repeating it: i want to exist. i want to exist. i want to exist.

they say you’ve gotta let people in but the more i let people in, the more i regret it. i’m tired of silencing myself but it’s like the moments i’m silent are the only moments i’m not ruining everything.

—  I WANT TO EXIST. I WANT TO EXIST. I WANT TO EXIST. I’M NOT REALLY SAD. REMEMBER THIS.

• shoutout to my girls who are curvy but not “in the right places”
• shoutout to my girls who need some “meat on their bones”
• shoutout to my girls that get shamed for looking “unnatural”
• shoutout my girls that get shamed for looking “all natural” not shaving etc
• shoutout to my girls who “need to cover up”
• shoutout to my girls who “need to loosen up, look like a prude/stiff/etc”
• shoutout to my girls who have to hear “you’re not a real women if you don’t _____” everyday
• shoutout to my girls who live in a world with impossible beauty standards, but keep rocking who they are anyway.
• you are gorgeous as you are, don’t let the world tell you any different.

Some Thoughts on criticism in fandom and creators bc this shit drives me absolutely nuts and I got a lot to say I guess

Fans are allowed to criticize creators! It does not matter if they never went to art school or dont have a million dollar disney series! their opinions still matter!

Criticism isnt hate, a fan criticizing a creator doesnt make them a fake fan or a traitor, it doesnt mean they hate the work! fans criticize creators because they love their work and want to see them improve! loving something doesnt mean blind worship.

Criticism isn’t entitlement, Criticism isnt setting impossible standards, just because no one is perfect doesnt mean that no one should try. Just because fans of a show want to see it improve doesnt make them “entitled”. 

Criticism =/= Hate, constructive criticism isn’t blind hatred. Criticism isnt always kind either, just because its negative doesnt mean its not criticism. Learn the difference,

The existence of trolls, misguided teens, and nasty haters doesnt make other criticism automatically invalid. There are plenty of older more “mature” folks who have criticism that should be heard, and just because younger fans don’t always know how to get their thoughts across properly doesnt automatically mean their thoughts and ideas are wrong or should be brushed off. Trolls and Haters? they’ll always exist and their existence doesnt mean other people aren’t worth listening to.

Hobbiests and children aren’t always going to be receptive of criticism and thats okay. But if you expect that your work is going to reach a wide audience, if you consider yourself a professional, if you are making a profit from your creations, you need to be receptive of criticism, If you want to reach that level someday then please be understanding and try to be more open to criticism as well. 

That doesn’t mean you have to take literally every single thing everyone says to heart and it doesn’t mean you have to allow yourself to be harrassed, but be more receptive to criticism, strive to improve yourself. 

and if youre a fan please don’t coddle creators or get angry at critics, you as a fan should want your faves to improve themselves.

i think in itself the kin/ID communities aren’t bad as obviously i have some myself, some i keep private and some i discuss, but the obsession with finding the perfect/correct person in a sea of people who you know nothing about beyond their kins with the express intention of rekindling relationships of any sort is extremely unhealthy

like seeking those people out, forming relationships based on nothing but past life perceptions of compatibility is very bad for you and setting you up for a lot of disappointment as well as setting one another up for impossible standards and encouraging behaviors to keep one another close ie lying about memories, exaggerating events from those canons, living too much in the past… it’s not good and makes your growth stagnant

Chihokogate is overwhelmingly romantic; fight me

I’ve seen people describe the “Overcome Chihoko” story in a number of ways–Victor being Extra, crackfic, something written purely for laughs, and so forth. And yes, I think all of those things are true, to a certain extent, but I’m not sure we appreciate exactly how lovely of an instance of crackfic this is.

More below the cut.

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drama-ostrich  asked:

Match up? 5"5,Female,blue gray eyes,Dirty blonde pixie cut,i have the habit to scratch my shirt whenever im calm,sleeping is my hobby,im quite stubborn,can be active if motivated,i draw lots of mlp with blood and gore,i collect random things from EOS lipbalm to pop cans,i love horror movies,im very calm in public and has resting b!tch face but once i get to know you im hyper, crazy, loud and active,natural flirt (everything i do is flirting apparently)

I’d match you with SF!Sans.  

Blackberry would be fascinated by your bloody take on something that’s meant to be so magical and innocent, and he’d definitely enjoy spending time watching you draw.  He might even try his hand at drawing some, too, although his sketches would look childish in comparison and he’d just scribble red crayon all over the page for the blood.  He’s not big on clutter, but he collects Napstaton action figures himself, so he understands what it means to be a collector, and as long as your things aren’t strewn across your room, he won’t have a problem.  If they are, he’s going to want the dates to be at his house, but hey, he’d prefer that anyway.

Horror movies, especially gory ones that involve torture, are his favorite kind of movies, so he’ll join you for all of those.  Hyper and crazy are synonyms for his name, so you’ll be a match for his shenanigans.  However, since you’re both stubborn, it’s likely going to cause quite a few arguments.. and he could possibly get Papy involved if he starts to get too upset.  

And his brother is biased.

It’s good that you’re a natural flirt, because that’s what’s going to draw him to you.  A human that doesn’t back down to him and “WHAT’S THIS?? FLIRTING?!  I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I HAVE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS!!”

It turns out that you exceed all of them.  

i feel like ppl think of carolina and tex both as just these cold horrible bitches who don’t know how to have fun but

tex was fucked up by omega, and was otherwise so compassionate that york, ct, north, and theta all liked and trusted her, and even when carolina got hurt with the two ais she demanded that someone come and help her and knocked her out for her own good

and carolina was the victim of the director’s impossible standards, but york loved her and maine took a bullet to the throat for her without a thought, and even after york and tex and eta/iota and everything else, look how she laughed and joked with epsilon (”you can tell your friends you picked me up”)

like. be nice to mine girls. it has been a hard time

Why INFPs think of themselves as “frauds.”

When you’re an INFP, your biggest insecurity is that you have nothing to say.

You perceive most people as insightful, intelligent and interesting, while you are a dullard who can’t even string three words together. It’s not just that you’re shy — you feel like there’s something mentally WRONG with you.

I felt this way for decades, but I got over it by thinking about it this way. The reason everyone else’s stories are so fascinating is because YOU are the one processing them. YOU are connecting dots in your brain that make what you hear much more “involving” than the same story processed through a non-infp mind. In other words, you’re too imaginative for your own good.

Conversely, you have incredibly high standards for what constitutes a worthy conversation and what doesn’t. Comments about yourself, for example, seem egotistical and pointless. How you day is going? Who cares!!

So you LIMIT your options SEVERELY when communicating with another person, and tend to choose the words that end the conversation because you don’t want people to find out you’re an imposter.

Yeah, that’s the main thought that goes through your head, right? You’re stupid and incapable (handicapped, maybe?) and nobody has found out yet. But oddly enough, nobody seems to notice. Nobody has EVER told you that you are dumb. Weird, isn’t it?

That’s because you’re not dumb. You simply have impossibly high standards. You’re an INFP, remember.

Like I said, I struggled with this for decades. I was an “imposter” for decades, yet I STILL manage to be “successful,” despite judging myself as a “fraud” all those years ago.

That’s because I’m NOT a fraud, and neither are you. Once I realized this, I also realized that I DID have useful things to say. This post, hopefully, is one of them.

So don’t harsh on yourself, and please let me know if this helps. You see, I still appreciate verification that I’m not a fraud, even when I know it’s not true.

Have a great day, INFP.

It’s No Fucking Problem.

Your Pal,
Space Monkey

What she says: I hate antis

What she really means: I don’t mind people disliking a ship for their own reason but the anti-shipping movement is driven by hate and bandwagon bullying to police what people are “allowed” to enjoy. They use fundamentally abusive and manipulative tactics on real people in the name of protecting survivors from speculative things in fiction. Antis want to act morally superior over ship wars and claim that to ship something problematic you must be a survivor. By doing this antis force survivors who may be uncomfortable with coming out with their status to out themselves and then hold them to impossible standards. Except when it does come to survivors who ship anti-deemed problematic things we are attacked, harassed, and then pushed under the bus anyway. Antis trivialize terms such as abuse, rape, and pedophilia by using them so often and out of place against a group made up of many survivors and minors– the people they claim to be protecting. They have bullied and suicide baited artists and other content creators they dislike in the name of “policing the bad ships uwu.” All antis are at fault for this, even if an anti claims not to send hate themselves they are still influencing this bad behavior because they are part of this hate group. The entire anti-shipper movement is a toxic cesspool that makes me feel sick.

ok but has anyone considered that vlad is basically, like, all the worst traits of team phantom combined

obviously there are his parallels to danny, with the powers and subsequent fear of rejection that comes with them and the temptation to misuse them for personal gain, but then there’s sam, who similarly lives in a bubble created by her wealth and holds others to impossibly high standards/gets mad when the world doesn’t align to her personal views, and tucker, who is often left by the wayside, is overlooked for his skills with technology, and also desperately craves validation

vlad had more opportunities to play divide and conquer is what i’m saying

Make Tea, Not War.
If it weren’t for the sturdy construction of a late 2008 MacBook—yes, white (well, more like off-dingy-white) shell and all—and the soft, fluffy rug—a housewarming gift from your mother–that covered your hardwood floors, the computer would have been shattered when you vaulted from the couch after the article—sent from a friend that was in desperate need of a lesson in softening the blow–loaded on the screen.

“Fuck!” you cursed, haphazardly picking your laptop up by the corner and tossing it on the sofa. “Shit, fuck!” Snatching your not-yet-empty wine glass from its perch, you stomped into your flat’s little kitchenette and uncorked the bottle of red while downing what remained in your glass. You poured and downed another.

“Really?!” you screamed at the pocket pig calendar hanging opposite you, a bit of spittle and wine flying from your mouth.

Poor Darius; he and his little cowboy hat didn’t deserve any of this.

You tried to calm yourself, really you did, but after a few huffing breaths that were anything but calming, you gave up and grabbed the bottle of wine before heading back to the couch. Your phone was at your ear, number selected and dialed, before the blankets and pillows had even settled from the force of your entire body weight slamming dramatically into them.

“Honey, are you alright?” Despite the hint of worry in her tone, your mum’s voice managed to calm you a bit; suddenly air wasn’t being forced in and out of your lungs as a more natural rhythm took hold.

“No,” you answered tartly before taking another swig of wine. It was silent as you both waited for the other to speak.

“Well are you going to tell me or can I get back to bed?” Mum was always impatient when it came close to bedtime; she was a solid eight-hour sleeper—nothing more and nothing less—and she coordinated her bedtime and wakeup time perfectly so she always got the right amount of sleep.

“He’s…engaged,” you said bitterly, lips puckering around the words, a sour taste left in your mouth at the admission; it didn’t feel right coming off your tongue. And it wasn’t jealousy—or at least you didn’t want to admit it was—because you weren’t entirely sure that if He were replaced with We you would be left with the same sour feeling.

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