Listen, the SAM is a wicked awesome thing that helps a lot of folks understand their romantic and sexual attractions better. BUT, as a card carrying aspec that uses the SAM, I want everyone to know that it’s super duper important that it not be applied to ppl who don’t use it on themselves. People don’t like this, largely bc they find it sexualizing. Whether or not you agree with that, their feelings should be respected 10000%.
This means that the SAM should NOT be your first assumption about a person when they tell you their orientation. The standard IS “no-SAM”, even if they tell you they’re aspec, and this isn’t aphobic or anything; it just makes good sense (since not all aspecs use the SAM) and is respectful of other ppl’s feelings.
You really can’t lose if you follow these rules. :)
tl;dr - Until a person explicitly uses the SAM to describe themselves, NEVER use it on them.