It seems like a lot of people are under the impression that autistic people don’t like socializing because we don’t like other people as much as allistics do (hence some scientists actually trying to investigate whether autism can be “cured” with oxytocin). I don’t think that’s true for most of us, or at least it’s not because we are just inherently antisocial. I think it’s because of the expectations of how a “normal” person is supposed to be and the constant effort to fulfill those expectations.
Me, I used to love socializing as a kid. Every time I saw a new person at the playground I would try to make friends with them. And I would get upset if they didn’t want to play with me. But then as I started growing up I learned that the way I socialize is inappropriate and rude and wrong, and in fact a lot of my behaviors are wrong, and a lot of things about me are somehow unacceptable.
So I started monitoring myself and paying attention to everything I do and say. I started copying other people to seem more normal. I started stressing about being around other people cause every conversation was like an exam I didn’t know how to prepare for. And then despite my best efforts I was bullied for several years and developed social anxiety and now not only do I feel compelled to be careful about my every word and every move, I also feel incredibly anxious and stressed when I seem to do something wrong.
And as a result socializing and being around people is not an enjoyable activity anymore, but not because I don’t like people - it’s because I don’t like all the acting and thinking and effort that I have to put into it to not seem weird or rude and not to be mocked and bullied. For me going to the cinema with a friend is more like an obstacle course because I have to be on guard 100% of the time and pay close attention to everything in order to at least partially pass as neurotypical. Now around a person I trust, like a close family member, I can be myself and I don’t get as tired from socializing, or at least not more than your average allistic introvert.
So basically if you know an autistic person and it seems like they aren’t very social, that doesn’t automatically mean they don’t like people. It’s possible they like people a lot, and want to be nice, polite and be accepted, so they put a ton of effort into passing, which drains their mental energy super quickly and it makes them wanna stay home and recharge. But all you need to do to make their life easier for them in that case is to tell them you accept them the way they are and give them time to build that trust. Then they can be themselves most of the time around you, and they’ll probably hang out with you more often.
March 26th 2010-2017: 7 years today since your audition & look where you are; performing your first song in front of a huge crowd at Ultra last night! I’m so proud to see how much you have grown & how much more confident you are in your voice & your talent. You are nowhere near done.
I love the idea of Spock falling in love with Jim first. It’s this steady progression of emotion starting from the day they meet, and building over years. Little moments feed into it, to the point that he doesn’t know exactly when it began or if it would ever end, just that it’s been happening all along. And he’s okay with it. Just like, “this is a beautiful emotion, and– even though I’m not supposed to feel it– I’ll treasure it. And him.”
And so when Jim finally wises up and realizes what’s been under his nose the whole time, when he finally has that “aha” moment, Spock (who has been content to just love him with no expectations) just feels this culmination of the inevitable. And it takes him no time at all to return Jim’s affections because he has had years longer to absorb and reflect on his own.
I just think that’s how their individual realizations would go. Spock, steadily over many years; Jim, in one defining moment.
“twenty one pilots is getting so much recognition now (which is so WEIRD but anyway) which means it’s at the point where people are complaining about “ugh now all these fourteen year old girls are obsessed with them and it’s ruining everything :(((” but like……….
the older people in the clique are always talking about how important the music is and how it changed/saved their lives and how when things are really really awful, listening to TOP reminds them to keep going and not give up - all of which is AMAZING and so so true, but doesn’t it make sense then that 14yo girls would like them?
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW HORRIBLE BEING FOURTEEN IS???
being at the height of your uncertainty and awkwardness and having society/people coming at you from all sides telling you what you have to be and what you have to look like and how you have to act…all while you’re too young to really know how to deal with it and ignore it and cast it aside as the bullshit it is. THE MOST HORRIBLE I EVER FELT ABOUT MYSELF WAS AT FOURTEEN. eleven years later i’m still not at a point where i like myself, but at least i’m old enough now to have worked through it…it’s fine it’s cool it doesn’t matter, i exist and i’m gonna try my darndest to keep existing.
and we all know that TOP attracts a lot of mentally ill people - tyler literally refers to “his people” as being the ones whose brains are a battlefield - and i know from personal experience that being mentally ill as a kid SUCKS. it SUCKS SO MUCH because you keep doing and thinking these things that you know don’t make any sense and yet you CANT MAKE IT STOP, and when you’re young, you don’t have the words yet to express what you’re feeling. what’s even worse is when you’re a kid (and especially when you’re a girl) people so often try to write off your mental illness as a plea for attention or you “trying to be cool/different” or “you’re just pretending to be like this because you read about it in a book somewhere.”
i think we can all agree that that’s completely HEINOUS. that’s disgusting and horrible and isolating. but isn’t that what the clique is doing when they say “what could fourteen year old girls possibly get out of their music”? short answer: it is. and it’s so invalidating of people’s experiences it should make us - the ones who know what it’s like to have messed up brains and no support from those around us - feel sick.
so i guess what i’m saying is this: being young sucks. being a young girl sucks even more. being a young mentally ill girl sucks the most. and if these fourteen year old girls find meaning or comfort from TOP’s music they should be welcomed in with open arms. because life is HARD dude, we all know that…so don’t begrudge people what gets them through the day, no matter how old they are.”
hey i totally agree with this. i’m so sick of the idea that once the music becomes renowned within the teenage girl demographic, it’s ruined. it perpetuates the idea that once a teenage girl likes something, it’s meaningless and silly and that’s extremely sexist, ageist and just all-round invalidating. who and what teen girls are passionate about is not of any less importance than what men are passionate about. young female fans are usually compounded with the idea of irrational excitement and being a “shallow” fan - not having a critical perspective of the music, which is absolute bullshit.
let me just reiterate what anonymous is saying…. being a 14 yr old girl with a mental illness is not easy dude. heck, being a 14 yr old girl without a mental illness is hard enough. 14 is a very vulnerable age where you constantly feel like everything’s out to get you. from around 12 - 15 i felt like i was constantly under pressure to act a certain way and music has always been something i’ve turned to for comfort. i started getting into top and /alternative/ music when i was 14 and the misogyny which seemed to be particularly strong amongst alt music fans was something that really confused me and i found myself having to prove that i was different from the “other teen girls” (whatever that meant at the time???) as if being a teenage girl was something that was embarrassing?
tyler and josh always describe the clique as being an inclusive group of people who support each other through thick and thin and yeah ideally the clique would be like that, and it is like that within certain /subsections/ (for lack of better word?) but unfortunately in reality, the clique as a whole is probably just as judgmental when it comes to accepting young teen girls into the fanbase which really really sucks. when i was 14 i wasn’t in the clique yet but i’d listened to their spotify discography probably about 100 times and it helped me, and continues to help me through so much and sadly in a sense, i’m kind of glad that i didn’t join the clique until later because looking back, i know that my experiences would be invalidated because of my age and gender.
so in conclusion, teenage girls are fucking hardcore for staying so beautifully passionate about what they love despite having to deal with everybody’s shit, and anybody who invalidates and looks down on young female fans for no other reason than because they’re young and female, needs to get their head out of their ass.
“Ed had to struggle without his right hand-” Yeah ok but let’s not forget Al had to learn to function without any sense of touch and also being much bigger than he used to be, and of course he wasn’t the injured one so I’m sure he didn’t get as much attention and help as he deserved
Do not fucking underestimate how much Al went through he’s so much stronger than people give him credit for
note to self: go outside more next summer. let the sun brown my legs and kiss my face and go to the beach, walk and build up my leg muscles, let my feet become tough from the ground and the sand, let my hair float in the salty sea breeze and stare off and imagine what it would be like to be a mermaid; don’t let other people make u feel uncomfortable and dont let ur worries keep u inside
You can be polyamorous and still cheat. You can be polyamorous and still cheat. You can be polyamorous and still cheat. You can be polyamorous and still cheat. Y O U C A N B E P O L Y A M O R O U S A N D S T I L L C H E A T
YOU CAN BE IN A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP AND STILL BE CHEATING