imperial queue

No matter how many times you save the Empire, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid. “I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for- for ten minutes?!”
—  Imperial Agent
  • Imperial Agent: Okay, I think he knows more than he’s saying, so we need to seduce information out of him. Who knows anything about seducing?
  • (silence)
  • Imperial Agent: I’m going to need outfits. You all have to go and find or make me seducing costumes, okay?
  • (timeskip)
  • Vector: Ghost!
  • IA: No.
  • Lokin: Hat rack!
  • IA: Aw, come on.
  • Temple: Fruit viking!
  • (Imperial Agent enters the room naked in a viking helmet made out of a watermelon and a cape, holding fruit seductively)
  • Imperial Agent: Do you have any…secrets you wanna tell the fruit viking? ‘Cause fruit vikings loooove secrets.
  • Vector: Agent! I almost thought that Ardun Kothe man talked you into not liking the Empire.
  • LS Agent: No, Vector. The Empire may have some problems, but it’s our home. Our team. And if you don’t want to root for your team, then you should get the hell out of the stadium.
  • Vector: *fondly* Right.
  • Agent: *proudly* Go Empire.
  • Vector: Go Empire. *awkwardly* Go Oroboro Nest.
  • Agent: *fondly* Yes, go Oroboro Nest.
  • Vector: Why do we always have to get involved? Can’t we just do normal stuff that normal people do, like… go to brunch?
  • Imperial Agent: What the fuck is brunch?
  • Imperial Agent: This is crazy, but I’m having feelings again, like some fourteen year old kid or something. You remember feelings right?
  • Vector: Yeah.. I have feelings every single day of my life.
  • Imperial Agent: Do you?
  • Vector: Are you saying you don’t have feelings?