I want to help you but I can’t..I don’t want to make you feel worse. I just want you to talk to me about what you are going through. I won’t judge you, I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. I’ll just listen. It might make you feel better to talk to me because you trust me, right? I feel so out of touch with you lately and I feel guilty for not trying to talk to you about this. I’ve held back because I know you, you like to handle your own problems yourself; I’ve respected that, you are so strong, but..from what I’ve seen, what is going on is something that is way beyond what you can even control. I may be wrong though.. I don’t know. I’m not going to force you to promise me anything, I just want to be here, to support you. I really do care about you and if something horrible were to ever happen to you I do not know what I would do. I know I would feel so bad for not having of tried to be there for you. I’m posting this to tumblr because obviously right now I am too afraid to ask you about it. I really do hope you see this. If you don’t see this, I’ll hopefully sometime soon find the courage to message this to you. Anyway, if you see this; please talk to me, please. I am so so worried about you and I miss my beautiful, caring and amazing best friend. I love you.

Soo, I have come to realise that I am never going to have somewhat of a social life ever again. All the time you read how people want to move away from everyone to a new place where no one knows you, I’ve done just that and its shit. I HATE being alone, I don’t understand how people enjoy it?! Maybe its because I’ve been stuck in this way for so long now that I just can’t find myself enjoying my own company. It fucking sucks. People tell me to go make friends, ask the people I’ve met to hangout. It really isn’t that easy. To be honest, I’ve only really met one person who I could call one of my best friends now. Of course they have lived here forever and have other friends so yeah, I barely ever see them. WHY. FUCK. Of course I miss him like all the time because he is the only person that really welcomed me when I first came here. It sucks though..I don’t know.. I get attached to people way too easily. :(