You looked deep into Evan’s dark eyes; truly appreciating their mysterious beauty. They were a beautiful, dark brown framed with long, thick lashes. He was so handsome with chiselled features that looked as if they had been carved by the angels themselves. His creamy skin had a healthy glow and hosted no imperfections. He soft-looking lips spoke with a low, secretive tone. Not to mention his messy, blonde locks of hair that seemed to flap all over the place when he moved. He was perfect. He was beautiful but he was not yours.
You and Evan were co-stars on the new hit TV series American Horror Story. He played the sexy Tate Langdon; a psychopathic ghost with a troubled past whereas you played Violet Harmon who was the depressed daughter of a psychologist. You had received critical acclaim for your on screen chemistry with Evan and the shooting process was going amazingly well. Over time you began to like Evan more and more until you realised you had fallen deeply in love with him. Normally, this concept of new found love would have excited you and sent shock waves through your body but no…not in this case! Why? Well, it had something to do with the fact that Evan hated you. He avoided you and stayed away as much as he could. After shooting, he would leave you in an awkward silence and pretty much gave up on any small talk that could be made. So what did you do? You ignored him to! Whenever you tried to speak up the words could not leave your throat and so you decided it would be best not to speak at all! You secretly yearned to hear him call your name or feel his warm embrace but that was never going to happen. You were deeply in love with a man who didn’t care for your existence.
——————————————————————————————— “Hey Y/N!”
You heard a voice call out from behind you. It was Connie. Connie and you had developed quite the friendship and became extremely close while shooting on set. She acted as a mother figure and treated you with such kindness you couldn’t help but smile as she approached you. But that did not stop the sorrow you felt from flowing within you. You muttered a small ‘hi’ and continued staring into space as you sat by yourself. Connie noticed your change in behaviour and furrowed her eyebrows; trying to deduce why you were so upset.
“Y-Y/N are you okay? You seem a little down.”
She spoke with a concerned tone as she sat down next to you; eyes widening and glistening with worry.
“I’m…fine. Just great!”
You forced out a laugh and shook her head in disapproval. Sighing deeply, she spoke.
“Look Y/N you need to tell me if anything or anyone has upset you…I can’t help unless you tell me!”
You tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t help the tears that watered in your eyes as you shared your tale of heartbreak. They slipped down your face and you felt your eyes burn as well as your heart sink. A shaky sigh made it’s way from your plump lips and Connie hugged you. You just wanted to be loved. You pulled away and wiped your tears as Connie’s expression on sadness morphed into an angry one.
“Evan you prick…”
She trailed off before speaking to you directly and deliberately.
“Listen if he doesn’t appreciate you then it’s his loss. Just try to relax about it because you are meant to be with him then it will happen! Who knows? Maybe there’s a guy out there who will treat you 10 times bet-”
Just as Connie finished giving her words of wisdom she was interrupted by Ryan. It was time to shoot again and time to face Evan. You walked back to down to the set with red, puffy eyes and sorrow seeping from your expression. Member of the cast and crew gave concerned looks and mumbled to themselves but you didn’t care. You looked up and saw Evan staring at you with a worried look. His eyes that normally possessed such a cold, unforgiving look were now wide and warm with worry seeping from them. You heard slow footsteps approach you before seeing Evan standing directly in front of you.
“You look really…upset. Are you okay?”
You gave him a sharp scowl as you felt more tears sting in you puffy eyes before spinning on your heel; walking upstairs to the toilets. You could hear him run behind you and tried to muffle your sobs but it was not working. You were crying hysterically now and could feel your pain flow through every inch of you. You were already so stressed out as you were adjusting to a new life of fame; a life that was so different to your old one. You were an orphan who had wanted nothing more than to experience true happiness and soon you felt it. You felt it when you were acting on stage in the drama club hosted by your elementary school. It was in that moment that you had found yourself but ever since you joined the cast AHS you felt as if you were losing yourself again. You could not fix your own sorrow and were destined to live a lonely, sad life behind a camera.
You ran into the toilets and locked the door; hearing Evan bang on it. He was desperate sounding and even a little scared but you did not care. You sobbed loudly as he spoke.
“PLEASE Y/N OPEN UP!” He shouted with a shaky voice. You just sat on the closed toilet seat crying as you heard running footsteps. The last thing you heard was Ryan asking what you were doing and banging on the door before your vision blurred and darkness overcame you…
You awoke to see Evan’s and Connie sitting beside you with a wet wash cloth on your forehead. Both of them had very worried expressions and breathed heavily as they saw your beautiful eyes open. Connie let out a smile of relief but Evan’s eyes stayed glued to you.
He breathed out in shock. Evan spoke almost lovingly and had a warm tone to his velvety voice. Connie’s eyes snapped to his and gave him a weird look.
“I think I should leave you two alonee…”
She drawled out before leaving abruptly which then left you and Evan alone. Together. You closed your eyes together and opened your mouth to speak; only to be cut off by Evan.
“You can lea-” You started.
“You love me.”
Your eyes widened in shock and you began to shake. Panic ran through you as soon as the words left his mouth. Connie must have told him! How could she have betrayed your trust in such a way? You then slowly stuttered out an answer.
“What?! N-no o-of course I don’t l-love you.”
He looked at you with anger; newly formed tears were shining in his eyes and he exhaled sharply. He then looked away as if he didn’t want you to see him so upset but tapped his foot against the hard, wooden floor.
“You love me.”
You just looked down in shame and listened to him. Heavy silence surrounded you and Evan for the next few minutes. You looked down at your fingernails before feeling his cold hands lift up your chin. You looked up in panic and sw his cheeks coated in tear stains.
“Do you have any idea how much you scared me? Hmmm? The slightest fucking clue?”
You gave no response and felt tears slip down from your sad eyes.
This annoyed you and in that moment you felt it escape and take the form of words. You spoke with a venomous tone and tears in your eyes.
“Shut up Evan! Don’t pretend like you know me because of one incident- we both know deep down you don’t give a shit. You didn’t give a shit about me before so don’t act like you do now. Yeah, actually I am stupid enough to love you but you clearly don’t love me so I just-”
Warm lips suddenly captured yours and shock possessed you. Evan was kissing you. His lips were softer than you could have ever imagined and pure bliss ran through you. You felt complete. It was not a kiss of lust that radiated the need for meaningless fornication no…it was one of love.
Evan loved you.
“Don’t ever say that again. I love you more than anyone in the entire world.”
He had said it! The words were finally spoken and the silence was broken.
“Then why were you so distant? I- I just don’t get it!”
Evan then spoke sadly.
“I was scared to ask…you seemed interested in other things and I didn’t want to ruin your happiness…y-your dreams came true!”
You tried to speak but the words would not come out so in a final bid to express yourself you pressed your lips against his. You sat and kissed in your state of love…your state of completion. What was a dream had now become a reality.
Hey guys I’ve finally post this. Sorry about the length but a poor anon had requested this quite a while back and I had to make it as epic as possible…which then lead to the cheesy ending and huge length. I hope you enjoyed it and please tell me if you want another Evan imagine. -Mavis
The problem with making bold declarations is that in the empty hours that follow, Dean has plenty of time to tear them down, to pick them apart one flaw at a time.
What chance does a moment of certainty stand against a lifetime of doubt and disappointment? Besides, if he’s good at anything, it’s finding fault in himself.
Still, he wishes it would stop coming as such a surprise.
It dawns on him slowly, as he scrubs blood from his knuckles and winces at the bruises spreading slowly over his skin, the only tokens he will ever receive from his childhood hero, that if Cas is truly determined to see this through to the end, there won’t be anything Dean can do to stop him.
He wants to believe otherwise, of course. He’s always wanted to believe it, has gone so far as to wrap his own protective version of reality around himself to deny the truth of Cas’ agency, of his choices that have so often felt like betrayals.
As he rinses off the grime of yet another hunt, Dean realizes that while he may have been grinding for thirty-odd years, Cas, in the time Dean has known him, has always been one for grand gestures. Looking back, it’s all too obvious that Cas can’t seem to lead without playing God, can’t fight for humanity without falling entirely, can’t devote himself to a cause without dying for it.
That’s the thing about Castiel: he never does anything halfway.