impeccable me

Story timeeee!! (The one that got away?)

I officially entered the bowl 8 months ago and within a month met an amazing guy on tinder (sn: ive used tinder since day one)! He’s a lawyer in his early 60s, very handsome, smells great, dresses impeccable, treated me better than any other guy I’ve ever been with to this day and most of all we were friends too. He was a white man who dated young thin attractive black women since his divorce. Listen ya’ll, this man took one look at me and asked if I was a “K” 😂😂😂😂. That’s how I knew he wasn’t lying about dating black women. He definitely had a type 💀.

Now he was never my SD per se as I never received an allowance and he never knew I was a SB. However, he would send me money if I expressed a need or distress, for nails or if I wanted to buy something (which I never fully took advantage of because again I was still a “newborn” in terms of sugaring. In other words, I was scared to open my damn mouth! I had not cause I asked not!) We dated like bf/gf only going to ATLs most exclusive 4.5/5 star resturants and frequenting the 4 Seasons, The W or Ritz whenever he was in town.

This man held open doors, took coats, pulled out chairs, handled valet, checked in before every date being sure that he sent me the correct address, made sure I was completely satisfied in every way even if that meant he had to talk to the chef himself (he’s done it before). He left NOTHING to interpretation. Anything a gentleman should do, he did. He was a wealthy white man and he used his privilege with authority yet humbly to make me happy. Best part yet? He never, ever invited me to his hotel room, kissed me or touched me at ALL! So much respect!

Well after a dating for a bit, he let’s me know that if I’ll have him, he’ll pay off my debt and put me in his will along with his two children (one is my EXACT age 😶). I could expect a very nice ring. He wasn’t proposing right then, but he wanted to be sure that I knew that he wanted this to go somewhere as “hes old and doesn’t have many good years left on earth” (his words). He said he didn’t want to waste time and that if I couldn’t be sure that I wanted to be married within a yr that he’d have to move on because he didn’t have as much time as I did. The thought of being married so young scared me but this is what we as SBs want right? And here it was at my feet only months after being in the bowl. I wanted him. I wanted this life for LIFE! Everything just lined up…almost.

We still hadn’t been sexual let alone kissed. That night we had the talk, I made a move. I was gonna see where things could go with us. I invited myself to his room. I kissed him, which wasn’t all that great, but whatever I wanted that will. He was grinding on me making old man sounds like he was about buss in his pants. I ignore it cause I’m trying to get a BMW convertible for Xmas. He sticks his tongue in my ear and literally, I fucking kid you not, starts making a noise that sounds like “sha la-la-la sha la sha la sha la-la-la”. Then……he grabs my face and proceeds to lick my makeup off my face with long strokes of his tongue and it feels like a cats tongue and for some reason, THAT breaks me and I realize I can’t do it lol. I just cannot. One of my eyebrows is halfway gone and my contour is erased. I can feel the spit drying on my skin. I start to rationalize things different.

Like this man just might fuck around and live for another 25 yrs. Can I deal with this for 25 yrs? I can’t have a sad pussy for 25 yrs. Can’t have an affair, that’ll cancel out the will. This is why I drink on dates! To take off the edge so stuff like this won’t bother me. I try to show him how I like to be kissed….he shhhh’s me and proceeds to suck my neck like a leech. I can’t. And I never do again. Now that I’m a bit more experienced and I’ve seen more shit, I’m thinking about calling him up 🤔🤔🤔. It would be hella nice to get out bowl.

her poems are constellated into me

i began my life yesterday
in a dream full of
mischief

the universe was on high alert
and mental fictions grew deeper

curses were heard
calamities of ideas
ripped through me
and i suffered love
for a
thousand
moments
of madness
at the hotel … or …
was that an asylum?

i saw
behind
my
thoughts … poems
of some ghost buried
on clouds of toxic smoothies
where life is a daily routine under
the lucid eyes of the sun and moon …
amen …to slippery stories that elude me …
and my body remains a collection of molecules …

she
is/was/will be
a poet of love … &
silhouettes
of her soul slip in … through doorways

flying

backwards
foaming of
revolutions …

for
her
poems
are gathered in
dream-catchers
lit by lanterns swaying
in a breeze of conspiracies …

she
sends
me poetry
swooshed from her nocturnal journeys
wrapped in lullabies of subtle madness

her poetry is a waltz with a forest
poignant and quirky … wayward and impeccable …

she’s covered
me in poetry
alchemic
and
calligraphic

so
here i live
in a mercurial aggregate
of
words alone with myself
lost in
accrued absentmindedness -

her poetry
means too
much to me …

i’ve
fallen again
into her abyss … a
dream world of serpents
hissing at the cracks of the moon …

nothing
matters
anymore
for
me …

she’s tattooed into me
with vowels and demons
and ancestral constellations.

I heart nerds

You can have an extensive vocabulary with impeccable grammar, explain to me theories of computing, or just share your dream of what you hope to accomplish when you’re in the lab working to make your first discovery. These things may not sound romantic, but talk to me nerdy and you’ll wake up in my arms.

It’s actually disappointing how my clients who are older married men treat me with more respect than the majority of vanilla guys my age that I’ve dated. Now I know they are just being polite because it’s business, but at least they PRETEND to care!

I was supposed to have a vanilla guy over last night and he kept me waiting two hours!!! So finally I texted and told him not to bother coming that I was going to bed. And he had the audacity to say ‘you better answer when I knock on the door’. Like what the fuck bruh???

This afternoon I had a client come to see me. He was a business man in his late thirties and was attractive looking and impeccably groomed. He handed me my money in a very business like manner done up in an envelope. We fucked and he actually put in a great deal of effort to make me cum (something no vanilla guy has ever done), and the whole time was telling me how beautiful I was and complimenting me on every feature of my body and face. He made me feel so good! Even after we were finished he didn’t run out the door right away. He made small talk and was actually interested in the details of my life. My daughter, school, etc.

I wish I could find a vanilla guy to treat me that way. Until then, escorting/sugaring is probably the best decision I’ve ever made. But I stay humble. In the back of my mind my subconscious always reminds me how just a few months ago I could barely afford to buy my child a diaper.

littlebeanboy  asked:

Hi, I noticed you have a prong collar on Odie in some pictures, I have been looking into a martingale collar (half chain type) to help train my pup as he's part whippet. Would you recommend that as a training option is prong the best way to go?

[Sorry I missed this question]

Ok so I’ll start off by saying any piece of equipment can injure an animal if improperly used [I only say this because of the negative stigmas attached to prongs and such]

Now that that is out of the way, I personally don’t have much experience with whippets, and every dog is different/will react differently to each tool. So it is honestly hard to say what would be the best option. I’ve tried every piece of equipment that could get my hands on and have found for me and my partners prongs work best. Not that they require them to work [they have impeccable obedience dont get me wrong] But I have strength and joint issues which makes working a 60lb dog a bit difficult.

Despite the fact he does not REQUIRE the tool I use it anyway as a safety blanket, for me. To help me feel in control in every situation. SD’s are still dogs and can have their ‘moments’.

So for suggesting a tool, I would say learn the proper way to use each and try them out, see which one of them fits best with the pair of you :D And do not let people shame you out of using a tool that fits you!

If I rambled I apologize xD feel free to send me more asks

You’re an artist. Beauty trails your brushstrokes.
 You plunge my life into color with an impeccable palette.
 You paint me anything I could ever want; happiness, love.
 You can compress the beauty of everything into just a few precise smears.


I’m like a painting;
 The product of hours of work and unbroken concentration… and when you’re finished with me?

Discarded, sold. Smudged over and scrapped.
Why do artists sell their art?
 Well… wouldn’t you get sick of staring at an infinity of flaws?

I guess that what once seemed like a beautifully unique shadow has become a smudge in your eyes.

—  cosmic-jackassThe remains of a book I’ll never write
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Kate Bishop beach selfies/outfit check. Other beach pics!
(Aka I just found these and look at how sunburned I was)