Warnings: angst, death, sad fic with even sadder ending.
If you had asked Dean Winchester where he had heard the lullaby he sang his brother asleep to, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He had heard the song in a random place at a random time. Maybe at a grocery store or flipping through the channels of his father’s car radio. The discovery wasn’t what stood out to him; the lyrics did.
This is a short little fic that takes place when Dean and Cas go to get beer as the world is ending during the season 11 finale.
Dean grips the steering wheel of the Impala appreciatively, knowing this is the last time he’ll feel it. He stares at Cas out of the corner of his eye with much the same sentiment.
“You’re staring at me.”
Dean takes a second to savor the gravel of Cas’s voice before answering. He realizes how gay that is, but it’s the end of the fucking universe, so he’s not much into denial at the current moment. Which is why he responds simply,
Dean pushes out a breath of air, making a choice. He pulls baby over and turns to face Cas. Cas blinks at him confusedly. Dean laughs in spite of himself. The whole situation is just crazy.
Dean closes his eyes a takes a deep breath.
“Listen, Cas,” he starts slowly, “I don’t..,” he gestures incomprehensibly with his hands, “I’m not…”
He falls silent, staring at his fidgeting hands.
“I’m listening. I still don’t understand.” Cas isn’t impatient; he’s just stating a fact.
Dean jerks his head up, stares straight ahead, and stops thinking before he speaks.
“I was never going to say anything, or do anything, about this, my,” he can’t help cringing a bit before continuing, “feelings, for you. It’s not something I’m familiar with. I’ve never felt like this before, not about a guy. I mean, I guess you’re not technically a guy, you’re a ‘multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent’ or whatever, but that’s not the point. It doesn’t matter. None of my ‘internalized homophobia’ matters right now. Because I don’t want to die a coward, Cas, and goddammit,” Dean takes a quick breath before pushing out, “I love you, and I’m going to kiss you, and you can punch me in the face if you want, but we’re never going to be here again. So I’m not spending my last moment with you lying to you, or myself.”
Dean braces himself for a second before looking at Cas again.
“You’re not punching me in the face,” Dean says eventually, when he can’t take the silence anymore.
“You’re not kissing me,” Cas says, and he’s smirking, the bastard.
Dean grabs him roughly by his stupid trench coat and engages in the most furious make-out session of his entire life. He can’t breathe, and Cas draws blood from his lip with his teeth, and he doesn’t care. He’s never cared less, or more, and this is everything until he realizes this is it. He slows down; he switches from saying hello to saying goodbye. Cas moves his hand from gripping his hair too tightly to cupping his face too gently. He runs his thumb torturously across his cheek, which is wet now. He pulls back slightly, just enough to look Dean in the eyes without going cross-eyed himself, thumb still catching tears. They stay like that, for forever and for no time at all, until Cas says, “Dean,” and Dean can’t stand it anymore. He pulls away and buries his head in his hands.
“If I hadn’t been so stupid, we could have-”
Cas rubs a hand up and down Dean’s back. It’s meant to be comforting, but it burns.
“It’s like you said, Dean. It doesn’t matter now.”
Dean’s phone rings. “Yeah.” After a moment, he hangs up and smiles at Cas.
Hi!!!!!!!! I know I am super annoying and always ask for one-shots, but can I request something? Maybe about the two Winchesters having little daughters and I don’t know just riding in Baby 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
A/N: You aren’t annoying in the slightest! Request whenever the mood strikes you; I’m always up for new ideas.
Sam’s little girl came first. As punctual as her father from day one, she came into the world on her predicted due date exactly ten minutes before the time of day her parents were betting on. She arrived in a rather calm fashion and immediately found herself being cradled and fussed over. It was apparent that she would be an easy baby, every parent’s dream, and happy to see just about everyone. Six hours later, she was followed by her cousin.
The arrival of Dean’s little girl was a bit more … unexpected. Hell, everything about her was unexpected beginning with her conception, and then she decided she’d rather not wait the last two weeks or the standard duration of labor. No, she couldn’t leave her slightly older kin all alone to bask in the warmth of familial adoration. When she did make her debut, Dean and the understandably exhausted mother couldn’t figure out how to get her to stop crying. She quieted to sleep and eat, but she seemed to exist in a state of constant dissatisfaction. Already, she was an impatient troublemaker like her father.
dean and cas are played by two really cute and obvious lesbians that make dean uncomfortable and sam giggle every time they kiss
sam getting kind of annoyed whenever they refer to him as moose
sam being like “what the fuck” when they ship him with gabriel, or lucifer, or all kinds of shit
dean keeps attempting to defend the fact that dean’s a badass while the whole fandom’s like “DEAN IS A SAD DEAD BABY WITH A CRUSH ON AN ANGEL”
dean being like “wow you guys are really confused did you even read the books cas and dean are just friends” and the destiel-shipping members of the fandom glaring at him and then flipping open their books and going “pg. 73. ‘dean stared longingly into cas’ sparkling blue eyes.’ pg. 58. 'cas, we’re family. I need you’ choked dean, through his blood-filled mouth.’ pg. 187 'cas grabbed the acne-ridden teenager by the shirt. 'YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. I NEED PIE.’ pg 21-” and getting interrupted by dean going “all right all right thats enough” and sam going “you know, agent, they’ve got a point,” and dean glaring at him furiously
both being super uncomfortable at the mention of wincest
sam getting along really well with the girl/guy playing him while dean and fan!dean fight over every aspect of dean’s character
both frowning a bit whenever fan!john is a douchebag to the other brother
sam denying the fact he wears all that much plaid, while literally the entire fandom unites for once on that fact
the winchesters not knowing what to say in a shipping war
dean buying sam a pair of plaid moose ears, which sam glares at him for, but keeps
dean buying a rainbow slinky
sam buying dean a t-shirt with a doodle of castiel’s trench coat and the words, “he was my gay thing” on it, which dean balls up and throws away turning bright red
the fandom making a joke in reference to a fanfic, which makes everyone laugh except the winchesters
dean looking in memory at all the fake samulets until sam goes, “you know i kept the real one right its back at the bunker if you want it” and deans face when sam saysthat
everyone agreeing, including winchesters, that charlie is the greatest character in the series hands down
sam being like “why the fuck do you have lucifer fan art he was literally fucking satan”
the winchesters not understanding any of the cross-fandom references
both attempting to make their characters be a little more badass
the fandom pulling out proof like “look right when they said the apocalypse was happening there was a whole bunch of freak natural disasters! it matches up so well!” and dean being like “what a coincidence”
fan!dean staring at fan!cas on stage going "cas" “dean” “cas” “dean” "cas" “dean” “cas” and fan!sam staring at the two of them and mouthing at the audience “just kiss already!” and dean blushing angrily redder and redder while sam laughs so hard he actually falls out of his chair
dean being like “THEY ACTUALLY HAVE MY FAVORITE. PECAN PIE. FUCK YEAH.”
dean humming on the way back annoying sam so in retaliation sam begins to sing some destiel song and pisses the hell out of dean
the fandom being like “we have a quote for everything”
the fandom explaining why the winchesters, cas, bobby, etc. are their biggest heroes, despite all their flaws, and the self-hating duo hating themselves just a little less