imp no 1

Ride Till The End

Lance had been driving for a few hours now.
Getting out of the city was laboriously slow thanks to having to work a way around the abandoned cars and large groups of the undead.
By time the sun was coming up Lance had barley made it six blocks away from where he started and was starting to get bored.
As a vampire he should have incredible speed and strength so in theory he should of been able to just run to Cuba.
Well thats if he was like other vampires.
Lance was a rare kind that lacked the speed and strength, but was able to hypnotise humans and heal incredibly fast so long as he had enough blood.
He always hated being treated like this delicate object that would break is someone were to do much as breath on him.
His own mother was afraid to hug him in case she broke something.
It had been hard to convince them to let him move so far for school, but they figured he would be safe amongst humans.
Lance supposed they were right.
After all zombies only went for humans.
As he pulled through another packed street he caught glance of a strange sight.
It looked like a purple monkey hanging from a lamppost beating Zombies away with a baseball bat.
As Lance got closer he realised it wasn’t a monkey, but a person.
A purple fluffy person.
He slammed his foot down on the accelerator and plowed through the group trying to clim up to them.
He was t sure why he did it. Maybe it was because he was bored and wanted someone to talk to?
Maybe it was because monsters should stick together?
Really it was because whoever this person is they were hot as hell.
Lance jumped up from the drivers seat and pulled on his jacket and large floppy hat before kicking his door open.
“Come with me if you want to live.”
The person stared at them for a moment before jumping into the open RV kneeing Lance right in the chest sending him to the floor.
Lance lay there for a moment trying to return the breath that had been knocked out of him when he realised they were moving.
He looked up to see the purple fluffy person driving at top speed looking panicked.
He had bite marks all up his arms dripping black blood onto the floor.
“So erm…hey.” Lance said awkwardly leaning on the back of the seat.
The person glanced back at him quickly before returning his attention to the road. “Why did you help me?”
Lance just shrugged smirking as he realised the voice was distinctly male. “Figured you were in trouble and needed help.”
“I could of handled it.” He snapped before sighing. “But… thanks.”
Lance grinned “ah my pleasure, the names Lance by the way.
“Keith.” He replied.
“Well Keith wanna tell me what you are? I mean your purple, plus your covered in bites but show no signs of going brain crazy.” Lance asked grabbing a first aid kit from a chest under the passenger seat and started cleaning the wound glad that he guy wasn’t human otherwise his fangs would of been triggered.
“Could ask you the same thing. The zombies didn’t even look at you.”
Lance shrugged “just lucky I guess.”
Keith shot him a sceptical look and Lance couldn’t help but think how cute he looked with those fluffy ears.
“Fine I’m a vampire.”
“Vampires don’t exist.” Keith stated like a fact he had know his whole life.
“Dude your purple! If you can be purple with a tail I can so be a vampire!”
Keith rolled his eyes “fine.”
Lance was quiet for a moment “so?”
“So what?” Keith didn’t even bother looking at him but Lance could see e was getting annoyed.
“So what are you?”
Keith just shrugged “no idea, I got bit and when I woke up I was still be but I looked like this.”
Lance thought for a moment “sounds like your a halfa, half human half monster, your mister half keeps you from turning but the zombies are still attracted to your monster side.” He suggested grinning proudly “if I had to guess I would say your an imp of something, though usually there a lot taller.”
Keith glared at the road “your only a few inches taller then me.”
“Doesn’t matter, still taller so there for better.” Lance grinned putting his hands on his hips. “So where you heading?”
Keith stopped the RV looking sheepish with his ears flattening to his head.
“I erm… I don’t have anywhere I can go.”
Lance suddenly threw his arms round the purple imps shoulders. “Well then, guess you have no choice but to come with me.”
“Erm where to?”
“Everywhere!”

Numbers...

….again.
bc i’m pretty sure i’ve done posts like this before, i just can’t find them >,<

all of these images are from the swtor visual encyclopedia thing. (which finally arrived for me! ;o; )

apparently, the imperial to sith ratio in the empire is 10,000 to 1.

this means that sith make up 0.01% of the entire imperial population.
(not included, the slave population since they wouldn’t be counted among imperials)

i can get behind that.
after all, force sensitivity among “regular” people is supposed to be SUPER RARE.

then we’re given the fact that there are, apparently, millions of sith?

which again, i can get behind.
but rather than going on with some simple math and whatever, i’m just gonna point this out for like an “FYI” kinda thing.

also, that it makes absolutely NO sense to only have ONE sith academy on korriban. so i maintain the headcanon that every major imperial world should have one, or maybe two, sith academies on said planets. (so obvs the ones on korriban and DK would be like your harvard and yale.)

and that given those ratios, the imperial population much be fuckin HUGE.
just like the republic. after all, this IS a galactic setting but Nothing (games, shows, movies, comics, etc.) really ever shows the grandness of scale.

Puns of Episode 92: Deals in the Dark

We’d love to see art of Keyleth scurrying around the City of Dis as Bugness Everdeen.

  • (0:17:37) Travis: You got dis in the City of Dis! Marisha: You got dis!  Taliesin: You got dis.
  • (0:29:45) Taryon: Why don’t we keep [the ring] handy, no pun intended…  Grog: How is that a pun? Percy: I was actually thinking the same thing; I don’t understand how that works.  Taryon: It’s a ring. Handy. I’m very literate.  Grog: That’s a stretch.  Vax: I caught it, I’m sorry to say.
  • (0:30:20) Taryon: An important imp?  Grog: An imp imp?
  • (1:03:26) Marisha: F***ing hell.  Matt: Literally.
  • (2:04:30) Marisha: Bugness Everdeen!
  • (3:00:23) Sam: I’ll pull out my rod, grip it hard.  Travis: Choke down on it?  Sam: Choke down on it. Maybe grip it with my left hand so it feels different.
  • (3:13:38) Sam: Double bear action!  Taliesin: Don’t Google that.  Sam: Bear-on-bear action.  Taliesin: Really don’t Google that.  Sam: Two bears wrestling with each other. A hot mess of devil sex!  Taliesin: Google that.

THIRTEEN.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: “IMP MY RIDE”
Ser Knight: +10 CROWNS!
Imp Princess: +1 LUST!

  • Bed the Imp Princess. (+4)
  • averagealaskan answered: Have a threesome: Can’t forget Glenn

To call yourself ‘excited’ would be the understatement of the year as you happily squeeze your massive cock into the begrudgingly accommodating Imp Princess. You even motion towards Glenn to join in, who does what you can only assume are top-level amphibian sex skills.

As you mercilessly pound away at her tiny butt, the princess decides she has a few things to say.

While yer skills ain’t b-bad, don’t you- don’t you think you’ve had enough? Just - ah! - Just cum on the floor and get this over with, so I can head back to my camp!”

While her flushed face betrays her attempt to sound disinterested, she does seem genuine about wanting to head out ASAP. What do you do?

rolatoria  asked:

😑😤😦😘😴

what has been your worst roleplay experience?
- u already asked me this but ill add the time a feferi in an au i ran used the f slur ooc then proceeded to get mad at me for “labelling her” when i said it was esp offensive bc she was a cishet
what is one charector you refuse to roleplay as and why
- striders, idk why i just dont feel it
what is your roleplay related pet peeve?
- white muns who play poc characters and think they can talk about race issues ic
what charectors are you currently writing?
- i have uhh five semi-active karkats (including @fisherklng who needs more followers follow him), 2 condys ( @imp-eratrix and @xvxrlasting) and 1 jadeblooded gamzee ( @drinkshaming )
have you ever given up on a blog and regretted it?
- yeah definitely, though mostly i just lose muse or people to interact with. i definitely miss my trash boy karkat jenkins, and i had a trash oc named eden upsilon whose blog i repurposed

Sansa/Sandor Fanfic Recs [Part 22][GIF Guide][Mature][Includes Book Based]

Previous Part 

Dances in the Sea - The year is 1798. Eddard Stark has gambled his money away, therefore convinces his only child, Sansa to accept the interest the wealthy, but odd Joffrey Baratheon has in her. Sansa is content in their courtship, that is until she meets, the mysterious, brooding, Mr, Clegane. Their continuous chance encounters leave Sansa unable to deny to connection they share, and unaware of the adventure that lies before her. 

Burnt -  After reporting to the scene of a car crash, Police Officer Sandor Clegane’s life changes from all of the things he has been trying to hide from.

Nobody’s Woman - Sansa and Sandor encounter each other once more in King’s Landing, the two of them just running into each other accidentally like the previous times (this is after Sansa’s betrothal to Joffrey has been ended, but before she was married to the Imp). Prompt by Ladytp.          

Part 1 of Vile         

Keep reading

3

Alright. We’re going to make this short and sweet. Apparently I’m unable to count properly so I ordered 10 more copies of Natures grasp than I needed so we’re going to do a little give-away! This is going to be short, It will be ending at roll-over at 12 PST tonight (june 12) and I hopefully will have the winners chosen by the end of rollover. You do NOT need to be following me to be qualified, but please write down both your FR ID Number and name in the reblog itself, NOT THE TAGS. Likes do not count. 

I would appreciate it that if you already have a copy and you only intend to sell this one that you refrain from entering, as I want this to be a chance for people that could not afford a copy to get one. If you plan on giving it away if you happen to win thats okay though. Thank you!


Grand prize : a Copy of Natures grasp and Natures Embrace. (M imp and F imp) 

1st runner up : 2 Copies of Natures grasp (M Imp) 

2nd & 3rd : 1 Copy of Natures grasp (M imp)

what if there was a breed that is only resulted in breeding two different dragon species. like u breed a pearlcatcher and an imp and you get a 1/50 chance of getting this dragon that is neither imp nor pearlcatcher but something else. And it can be obtained by breeding any two different breeds. that would be swaggy and chaotic.

Things I love about that Rumple Scene:
  • I love Bobby’s choice to use the imp voice, the season 1, episode 1, imp voice. Not to mention the fact that his hair matches that episode as well. 
  • The interaction between them mirrors similar interactions with Regina, something that Zelena would have wished. 
  • As soon as the Witch leaves, her theme becomes slowly overpowered by the track “Dealing with Rumpelstiltskin.” Combined with his chilling song, it spells out what we all know: Rumple has a plan. 
  • Bobby once expressed doubts about going into imp mode without the full makeup and costume. He was entirely wrong. Perfect expressions mirroring Imp!Rumple while he’s in Mr. Gold costume.