Hey guys, I’m trying this out and I really need your help. I made this video trying to get my story out there. My name is Lena and I’m 19 years old. I’m adopted from Russia and have been searching for my birth parents and sister ever since. I have never met them or seen what they look like. If you could share this video and/or give me advice or stories you may have, it would be greatly appreciated. I have no idea if this will work, but I’m trying all my options. I’m just a girl with a piece of me gone missing that I would like to find. Thanks for all your support. Please reblog and share. Thank you!!


My sister wanted me to do the “Cinnamon Challenge” or something like that. Well, here you go. 

Parents left who care about me:

Birth mother.

Birth father.

Adopted mother.

Adopted father.


I didn’t think I’d have to cross you off the list too, ever, but you just confirmed it tonight. I heard what you said to me, loud and clear. I get it. You don’t have to pretend anymore. I understand. It’s my fault anyways; for getting my hopes up that you actually cared about me. But that’s my own stupid misjudgment. You don’t. I shouldn’t have had such expectations. Because once again, I’m let down.

Tonight I was talking to a lady, sitting in front of me, I’d never met before. She was wearing this sweatshirt that I really liked. I complimented her on it and told her how I was from Russia. I asked her where she got it, so that maybe i could go buy one. She told me that they weren’t for sale and turned around. I continued watching the show and she began to take the sweatshirt off. Then before I even knew it she handed it to me and told me I could have it. I insisted that she keep it or at least let me pay for it. She looked me in the eyes, smiled, and said, “really, keep it” , and turned back again once more. I could tell she meant it with everything she had. A few seconds later she put a helmet on her head, and it was just then I found out she was seizure prone and missing part of her brain. My heart sunk. It amazes me how someone who has so little and is suffering can be so incredibly giving to others. She has it rough, but she still chooses to give. I’ve never met someone so inspiring before. I have so much respect for her and I can’t thank her enough. I’m so lucky to have met such an inspiring woman.

My thoughts, not that they mean anything.

I guess I could type some big extravagant thing; using words that even I don’t truly understand. I could add unnecessary punctuation and fancy italics to draw attention on certain parts. I could write all fancy swirling the letters and making them flow. I could make it lengthy and so detailed that you could picture every word precisely.

 But you see, none of that is necessary. For such an in depth thought, only a few words are needed. The less complex I try to make it, the more real it becomes. And that is all that matters in the end. 

Just because

Just because I buy a book on self harm, doesn’t mean I’m cutting.

Just because I like being alone, doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong.

Just because I like the colors blue, purple, and black doesn’t mean I like the dark.

Just because I like my nails black, doesn’t mean I’m scene.

Just because I smile, doesn’t mean I’m lying.

Just because I skip meals, doesn’t mean I’m starving myself.

Just because I laugh, doesn’t mean I’m not hurting.

Just because I’m defensive, doesn’t mean I’m hiding anything.

Just because of one thing, don’t assume another.