immortal of soul

Service Offered: Professional Third Wheel

Unwanted suitors? Not sure if you’re on a date? To nice to turn him down? I can help! With nearly four years of experience sabotaging romantic encounters, I’m the uncomfortable silence you deserve… and now, I’m offering my services professionally. 

Bring me along as a platonic bufferzone on unwanted or ambiguous dates with suitors you’re not interested in but don’t know how to turn down. Guaranteed to kill the mood or your money back!

Basic services include: Terrible puns, poorly-timed jokes, casual physical displays of affection, bringing up unappealing facts about you (to be established or fabricated ahead of time), including myself in attempts at cuddling, domineering the conversation, irritating laughter, talking about I may have finally found an apartment for rent that’s big enough to house all of your cats, subtly making remarks about how nice it is that you’ve made a new friend. 

More advanced services: Creating diversions (available at tiers 1, 2, and 3; examples include pouring water over my head, impromptu hula dancing, and  triggering alarms), intimate displays of physical affection, accidentally spilling drinks on your suitor’s clothing, laughing at everything your suitor says while drinking until I manage to time it so that water comes out of my nose and sprays onto them. 

 Package deals: 

  • The Gay Best Friend: What it sounds like. Because this persona runs the risk of stereotype and exploitation, I prefer to keep this subtle. Willing to engage in mild flirtation with your suitor. Please use discretion when requesting this service; the intention is to make him realize that your feelings towards him are platonic. Do not even consider this package if he is aggressively homophobic. 
  • The Imposing Older Brother: I scowl, smirk, and huff judgmentally. Comes in two flavors: the Violent Ex-Con and the Insufferable Elitist. Can flex my physical or intellectual muscles as needed. 
  • The Irritating Younger Brother: I bring a gaming device along, snicker rudely and roll my eyes whenever he speaks, complain about the time, chew with my mouth open, shrug indifferently, prop my sneakers on his chair, wipe my nose on my hand, and bluntly interrupt the conversation whenever it strays out of your comfort zone. 
  • The Priest: Why the heck would you bring your priest on a date?! I don’t know, and neither will your suitor! Obfuscate them into backing off. If that doesn’t work, I will recite dry Biblical passages until they are driven away by crushing boredom or fear of Hell. 
  • The Son from The Future: Depending on the age difference, I can also pose as your Son from the Current Era. Will dress in conspicuously unusual clothing (ex. holographic baseball cap, life preserver, roller skates, VISOR-like sunglasses), continuously ask for the date and time, and anxiously mutter about how it’s almost time for you to ditch this place and meet my father for the first time.
  • The Enslaved Zombie Ex-Boyfriend: I don milky, semi-opaque contact lenses and follow you around mindlessly, with jerky, unnatural movements. I am at your beck and call, controlled from beyond the grave by your occult powers - the fate of all the boyfriends who displease you.  
  • The Demon Prince: I wear a stylish fawn suit, soft kidskin gloves, and silver cuff-links etched with strange symbols. I have a ring or a cane decorated with the head of a ram. I say little, but smile often. Now and then, I pull out a little silver hourglass from a chain around my neck and examine it, tapping my foot, my fingers, or my cane impatiently. I adopt a curious and subtle accent and ask him to appraise his immortal soul. I carry a sleek briefcase rigged to emit a bright light if I crack it open a hair. Optional: I carry a cube of sulfur in my pocket for the smell.
  • The Mulder: A proven classic. I periodically derail the conversation with crackpot conspiracy theories, the nature of reality, extraterrestrial intelligence, and ESP. May accuse your suitor of being a Reptilian, or demand that they feel the scar where I had an alien implant removed. Insist that we change tables because this one is bugged and we are under surveillance by the secret shadow government.    
  • The Fiance You Thought Was Lost at Sea: I burst through the door, dripping wet, with barnacle-encrusted clothing and a crab dangling from my ear lobe. I’ll smell of brine and have a haunted look in my eye. This will require some acting skills from you; you’ll need to throw yourself sobbing into my arms and cry, “I thought I’d lost you!” and I’ll hold you and mutter something about Davy Jones getting ahead of himself.  
  • Other: I am happy to work with you to develop a persona specific to your unique needs and preferences. 

Rates: Sliding scale, determined by me on a case-by-case basis. I want to make my services available to all who need them. Factors such as the relative heinousness of suitor is considered; affluent clients can generally expect to pay more as likelihood of physical or spiritual harm increases. For swanky dates in nice locations with minimal levels of danger, I typically ask only that you cover the cost of my meal, entrance fees, transportation, and other expenses.

IMPORTANT:
Although I am prepared to deal with any number of eventualities, I am not a professional: bodyguard, assassin, exorcist, crocodile hunter, or escort. If you expect that any of these services will become necessary, I am happy to put you in touch with a specialist. ADDITIONALLY: If your suitor is non-human, please be upfront with this so that we can plan accordingly. We do not want a repeat of the events of Halloween 2012.

ADDENDUM 2014: I reserve the right to terminate our deal at any time. This is a exclusively a professional relationship, and any physical or romantic affection we may share may be considered performance and unrelated to my personal feelings.
ADDENDUM 2015: If you are trying to orchestrate a set-up because you get off on watching your significant other jealously beat the crap out of perceived rivals, fuck you. Vengeance will be swift.

The most hilarious thing about the Crystal Kingdom arc is Kravitz talking about bounties and how the boys have the biggest ones he’s ever seen, as if he works 9/5 for rent money. 

Like, my dude, you’re dead. You live on a plane primarily inhabited by swirling, immortal souls. The most material thing on it is a jail. You work for a goddess. Kravitz has a body, but evidence suggests that it’s more for show than anything, seeing how he can also inhabit robots or work through crystalline monsters. 

What is he getting paid in, afterlife brownie points? Raven feathers? Pats on the head from his godly boss? Or is he just trying to keep up his three century long Employee of the Month streak?

a common theme in arakawa’s writing of fmab is about choosing life over death, how sacrifice is meaningless, and how each human life is valuable and worth a lot. when we’re introduced to the ingredients of a philosopher’s stone, human lives, it puts that theme into action. we learn from envy during the gluttony’s stomach arc that the souls that are placed into philosopher’s stones are reduced to mere energy. they don’t remember what they look like nor their memories. but .. that doesn’t seem right.

when ed faces envy in his monster form, he hears the voices of those souls crying out things such as “kill me,” “help me,” “give me back my son,” and of course the one that makes ed freeze in place, “big brother, wanna play?”

if these souls were reduced to energy, then how are they still crying out, showing emotions, feeling pain, and calling out to their loved ones?

ed questions this himself when he fights envy. he hesitates because the possibility that these souls can still think, exist, and talk is horrifying to him. they’re trapped inside envy with nowhere to go forever, possibly going insane for being in there so long and begging ed to kill them because it’s better than knowing you won’t ever have a body or be truly human ever again.

envy tells ed that you need to use logic instead of emotions if you are to determine what a human is, but arakawa teaches us in that moment that it’s okay to think with your emotions, that sometimes thinking with your emotions solves problems better than using logic.

hohenheim is a great example of this. he was forced to live with over 500,000 souls trapped inside his body, but unlike father, he actually talked to the people that resided within him. he learned their names, their likes, dislikes. this goes to show that no, the people trapped in those philosopher’s stones were NOT just reduced to energy. they still had their minds even if they didn’t have their bodies, because THINKING and FEELING is what TRULY makes you human, not what you look like.

understanding the seven deadly sins is understanding humanity. father’s downfall was that he severed all those emotions from himself; he didn’t feel emotions towards humans or the people trapped in his stone and couldn’t care less about them, never trying to talk to them or create bonds or connections with them. he saw himself as a higher being when in reality he was just a simple human who thought removing his emotions would make him stronger. 

the citizens of xerxes still remember who they were when they were alive and the people whom they loved. when father gives them bodies for the first time, they still remember hohenheim and how their lives once were, and they are thrilled to walk again.

we learn from winry that being trapped in a philosopher’s stone is painful and feels like being in a prison. the citizens of xerxes in envy’s body would rather be dead than trapped, and when ed uses envy’s philosopher stone to get out of gluttony’s stomach, the souls THANK him.

they are not just reduced energy. ed was right when he had a gut feeling that those people trapped in the stone were still human like his brother and could still think and feel, even if they didn’t have physical bodies. he and his brother still recognized them as people. he hesitates when he has to shoot them.

he has to face this reality again when he fights the immortal legion, soldiers who’ve had souls placed in their bodies, minds possibly manipulated to attack other people, and ed hesitates once again.

envy told ed that you can’t use your emotions to decide, but it was envy in the end who was wrong. he didn’t understand human emotions nor bonds just like the rest of the homunculi. they looked down on people and just saw all the souls trapped in stone as mere energy instead of humans with emotions. they lost the fight because they underestimated the power of what people can do when they work together. it’s okay to think and decide based on your emotions, because it’s just another trait that makes all of us human, another trait that helps us form bonds with one another.

Honestly, the thing about jojo is that it starts kinda normal, and each new bizarre thing it introduces seems so logical in context; you don’t even realize how weird it is until you look up and realized you’ve gone from watching two kids fighting for daddy’s approval, to watching a 70 year old old man helping his grandson cheat at MLB 2k 1989 to save the immortal soul of his best friend while simultaneously searching for the surviving one of those aforementioned kids, who’s now a sexy evil vampire that stops time and has stolen his rivals body.

3

Announcing “Power & Magic: IMMORTAL SOULS,” coming to Kickstarter July 2017! Follow a whole new cast of queer witches of color entering the astral plane, communing with ancient spirits, and mastering death itself.

This new collection of queer witch of color stories will be the interlude between “Power & Magic: The Queer Witch Comics Anthology” Volume 1 (currently out for sale) and Volume 2 (opening for submissions 2018).

Stay tuned to learn about our creators, their stories, and much, much more!

which character should you fight (ft. Gen 1 FE:A dudes)

Chrom
Winner: You
look at this guy. look at his fashion choices. look at his nerd-ass lying on the ground in the smash trailer. someone needs to set this boy right. you may incur the wrath of everyone you dont want to fight but hey. do it for us. do it for all of humanity. (warning: he may try to marry you after. or before. or during.)

Frederick
Winner: who do you fuckin think
why would you even think about fighting frederick why would that thought ever cross your mind i mean 1. have you seen him. he has grown ass men and seasoned warriors on their knees praying, tears or sweat - fuck if they know - dripping down their faces just from his workouts. he’s the one who has to carry the bullshit of an entire kingdom, including his lords. 2. it was his ass that carried your slovenly ass through the first four chapters of lunatic/+ so how about you show some fucking respect. get fredereckt

Virion
Winner: You
are you kidding me? punch him in the crumpet. take his tea and pour it out in front of him. you get some on your clothes? no problem, rip his godforsaken cravat off and mop it up. if you’re a girl you might get away with it. otherwise he might fuck you up. who cares, it’s worth it.

Stahl
Winner: Stahl
fighting him will accomplish nothing. you’ll go up to him all ready for a tussle and he’ll glance over at you with a sleepy lopsided grin and a “oh hey, what’s up?” and that’s it. you’re done. you’ll lose all will to fight. his chill is contagious. and if you do somehow retain your fighting spirit? he’ll knock you flat on your ass. probably apologize too. it’ll be embarrassing for both of you. i mean the dude was trained by frederick after all. but i mean he’ll probably help you up and offer you food so idk. if you’re starving go for it.

Vaike
Winner: 50/50
look, i know what you’re thinking. look at all those muscles. the dude is ripped. fight him anyway. do it. he’ll probably forget his axe somewhere so you probably wont die. fuck him up. someone has to for the abomination that is “teach just got tenure.” Let him atone.

Lon’qu
Winner: Depends
If you aren’t a girl, you will be sliced into pieces so thin tharja might mistake you for her mesh body suit. if you are…. i mean you can try, but he’ll run. you can win if your cardio is good enough. go. chase him. Be Free.

Ricken
Winner: You
okay he’s the nerdiest of nerds but he’s also a fucking child so. idk man you can fight him if you want but what’s the point. if anything getting beat up by you will fuel his teenage rage and he’ll keep it stewing inside himself until he’s big enough to fight back and then you’ll have to deal with years of pent of rage and a napoleon complex but on a full sized being and no one wants to play therapist in a scrap. it just isnt worth it. i mean unless you’re like itachi uchiha then by all means go ahead

Gaius
Winner: You, but only with careful planning
ok so gaius isnt the toughest cookie, but he doesnt want to fight and he has access to the assassin class and i dont know about you but in my experience fighting assassins is no bueno. you get one punch in maybe if you’re lucky and take them by surprise but then youre dead and you cant fight for shit anymore. BUT if you take all his candy, his blood sugar will get low, making him weak and agitated. this is the optimal time to fight him. make sure he knows you’re the one who stole his candy. make sure he can smell the sugar on your breath. note: he may not spare your life if he gets the upper hand.

Gregor
Winner: Gregor, but you win friendship
i’ll be frank, gregor will beat the everloving shit out of you and there is nothing you can do about it should you choose to fight him. he’ll do it laughing and smiling, not even realizing he broke three of your frail ribs with one pulled punch. but he will absolutely take you out for a round after and exchange drunken stories with you. so fight him. even if he refuses, pay him to fight you. he cant say no to money and nothing is more valuable than fire-forged friendships.

Libra
Winner: Libra
why the fuck do you want to fight the priest. fuck fine, you know what? fight him. see what happens. he’s the only one who will pray for your immortal soul while you bleed out. but guess what, jackass? the gods are gonna see you tried to fight a priest and they’re gonna send your ass to the void anyway

Henry
Winner: ???
man fuck i dunno what this guy’s deal is. on one hand he’s a dark mage genius who was raised by wolves and then sent to a horrific boarding school/orphanage making him literally the stuff horror films are made of. on the other he can be a pretty nice guy if you’re his friend and he’s kinda fucked up so he might let you win. his crows will probably peck you to death either way though so its a lose-lose situation.

Basilio
Winner: Basilio
same deal as gregor, except basilio is hard-mode. he might accidentally kill you while you fight and his friendship is an even rarer flower. you gotta be charming. you gotta be smart. you gotta be somewhat strong. but if you do manage to get your ass beat and stay alive in such a way that he wants to grab a pint with you, take that beautiful budding friendship, hold it close to your breast and never let go

Donnel
Winner: You
he’s by far the sorriest character you get at recruitment. if it weren’t for that pot on his head, a feather falling too hard could kill him. but he’s a farmer that works day in and day out just so his village can survive. do you really want to fight the paradigm of the wondrous and wholesome rural life we should all aspire to? you capitalist pig.

i hope i didn’t forget anyone

Coraline Theories

-The Other World is at the bottom of the well. The well and the portal behind the little door are extremely similar in appearance.

-The Beldam is a witch who made herself immortal by using children’s souls. She was there probably before the town was founded. The reason she has a spider motif is because she acts like one, creating a web to attract and trap her prey. Her monster form is the result of her overuse of black magic, she’s not human anymore.

-The Cat lived at the same time as the Beldam, and tried to save the ghost kids like he did with Coraline. They’re both connected to the Other World, which is why he can travel there.

-The key is basically the Beldam’s magic wand. It ties the real world and the Other World together. That’s why there’s only one.

-The Beldam made dolls as a hobby or for a living, before she began stealing souls. This is why everyone in her world has button eyes, they’re all just living dolls she’s created. It’s also why her true form looks like a spider made out of sewing needles, and why she can only copy things in the real world. Sewing buttons onto a child’s eyes is making them another of her dolls, her property.

-The reason the Other Father and Other Wybie rebel is because they’re simply following their orders. The Other Father was made to love Coraline, and the Other Wybie to be her friend. The Other neighbors were made just to entertain her, not care about her.

Lyrids Meteor Shower Magick 🌠

The Lyrids is a meteor shower that takes place from April 16th to April 26th of this year, with its peak being around April 22nd. The Lyrids meteor shower is named for the constellation Lyra, with it’s radiant point originating from the constellation’s brightest star, Alpha Lyrae, otherwise known as Vega. 

Magickal workings that would be appropriate to perform during the Lyrids meteor shower include those having to do with:

  • The underworld
  • Enchantment 
  • Immortality of the soul
  • Music 
  • Love

It is said that the first lyre ever made was given to Orpheus by Hermes as a bargain. The music produced by this lyre was so great that even inanimate objects could be charmed by it. 

“At one point, Orpheus married Eurydice, a nymph. While fleeing from an attack by Aristaeus, she stepped on a snake that bit her, killing her. To reclaim her, Orpheus entered the Underworld, where the music from his lyre charmed Hades. Hades relented and let Orpheus bring Eurydice back, on the condition that he never once look back until outside. Unfortunately, near the very end, Orpheus faltered and looked back, causing Eurydice to be left in the Underworld forever. Orpheus spent the rest of his life strumming his lyre while wandering aimlessly through the land, rejecting all marriage offers from women.”

Associated Herbs/Resins:

  • Spirit work - Aconite (Wolfsbane, Monkshood), Apple, Bay Laurel, Birch, Cedar, Copal, Cypress, Elder, Lavender, Mandrake, Marigold, Mugwort, Mullein, Pomegranate, Thyme, Tobacco, Willow, Wormwood, Yew
  • Enchanting - *The herb will depend on the type of enchantment you are performing*
  • Creativity - Dragon’s Blood, Fig, Lavender, Lemon Verbena (Vervain), Orange, Pomegranate, Rosemary, Tangerine, Valerian, Wild Cherry Bark, Willow, Yellow Pepper
  • Love - Acacia, Allspice (Pimento), Apple, Apricot, Avocado, Bachelor’s Buttons, Balm of Gilead, Barley, Basil, Beans, Beetroot, Bloodroot, Cabbage, Cardamom, Celery, Cherry, Chestnut, Chickweed, Chili Peppers, Corn, Daffodil, Dates, Dogbane, Dragon’s Blood, Elm, Fig, Gardenia, Geranium, Ginseng, Grapes, Henbane, Hibiscus, High John, Honeydew, Hyacinth, Indian Paintbrush, Job’s Tears, Juniper, Kiwi, Lady’s Mantle, Lavender, Leek, Lemon, Lemon Balm, Lemon Verbena (Vervain), Lettuce, Lime, Liverwort, Lobelia, Lovage, Maidenhair, Mandrake, Mango, Maple, Marjoram, Marshmallow, Meadowsweet, Mint, Mistletoe, Moonwort, Mullein, Mushrooms, Myrrh, Myrtle, Nectarine, Nuts, Orange, Orchid, Orris Root, Pansy, Papaya, Parsley, Pea, Peach, Pear, Peppermint, Periwinkle, Plum, Quassia, Quince, Radish, Raspberry, Rose, Rosemary, Rue, Rye, Saffron, Southern Wood, Spearmint, Spiderwort, St. John’s Wort, Strawberry, Sugarcane, Tangerine, Thyme, Tomato, Turnip, Vanilla, Vetiver, Willow, Witches Grass (Dog Grass), Wood Betony, Wormwood (Absinthe), Yams, Yarrow, Yerba Mate

Associated Crystals:

  • Spirit work - Amethyst, Angelite, Apophyllite, Aqua Aura Quartz, Blue Lace Agate, Blue Quartz, Carnelian, Celestite, Charoite, Clear Quartz, Cuprite, Diamond, Fluorite, Iolite, Labradorite, Lepidolite, Malachite, Natrolite, Pearl, Ruby, Selenite, Sugilite, Sunstone, Tanzan Aura Quartz, Tanzanite, Tsavorite, Turquoise, Violet Flame Opal
  • Enchanting - *The crystal will depend on the type of enchantment you are performing*
  • Creativity - Alexandrite, Amazonite, Apatite, Aventurine, Carnelian, Citrine, Coral, Fire Agate, Fire Opal, Howlite, Opal, Rainforest Jasper, Sardonyx, Topaz, Ulexite
  • Love - Chrysocolla, Chrysoprase, Danburite, Diamond, Emerald, Garnet, Kunzite, Lapis Lazuli, Marble, Morganite, Peridot, Rhodochrosite, Rhodonite, Rose Quartz, Selenite, Seraphinite, Serpentine, Smithsonite, Sugilite, Topaz

Associated Colors:

  • Yellow
  • Red
  • Pink
  • Black
  • Grey
  • White

Magickal Ideas:

  • Write and play music as an offering to Orpheus and Lyra
  • Engage in other creative activities 
  • Enchant various objects
  • Carve the constellation into a wax cube or candle and let it melt
  • Burn corresponding incense
  • Give a physical representation of music (i.e. sheet music) as an offering
  • Perform spirit work
  • Give offerings to ancestors or anyone close to you that has passed on
  • Harness energy from the meteor shower itself
  • Use this energy to charge and enchant items
  • Summon the spirit of Orpheus and Lyra to aid in your spellwork for the duration of the meteor shower

do you ever think about how fucking wild the premise of hetalia even is though like there are these (alarmingly) consistently attractive immortal beings that represent the soul and state of a country and they’re gifted with weird abilities like magic or hella strength and then they just spend their days having petty playground arguments with each other

Angie’s Religion

Some people ( most ) believe that Angie is Catholic, thats false. I researched that Christianity forbids idol worshiping. Yet also in Islam, it is also forbidden ( haram ) since I am Muslim. I tried Buddhism an Hindus, but they said its a misconception.

Angie can make statues, yet we do not know if she WORSHIPS them. She said “”god of the islands”””. Which I tried to research as well. 

The statue looks like an Eastern statues, maybe she is an Eastern Worshipper? Yea she is Japanese, Japan is in the East. It is possible she maybe in an Eastern Island.

The religion is called “””Rapa Nui”” 

“The religious practice that persists in the island up to this day is called Ivi Atua, and it is based on the immortality of the soul. “”

There goes to her clothing. She wears a bikini with a skirt topping. Kinda artsi for a religious artist.

Well again, research. In Rapa Nui, women cultural clothing looks like this.

Bikini, and skirt topping.

Necklaces and bracelets.

Let me guys know what you think.

Reblongs > Likes for this since I did research and I’m proud of this one.