immortal marilyn

I feel like we will never get the old manson back. And if for no other reason than his age in my opinion he’s getting too old to hold up that raw anger and rage to the light not that he’s lost it but he’s had so much bull shit happen in these last 10-15 years that the anger is subsiding, taking a back seat to his other emotions to let them flow through his music. It isn’t as hard hitting any more, it’s less kill your mom music and more existential asking the questions like why are we here and wats the purpose of life but, it’s more intimate. He isn’t playing for the crowd any more he’s playing for him self like therapy that only works form him when he hears his words backed up with a drum and guitar coming through a speaker. What intrigues me is that every album tells a story which makes me eager to hear this new story of his. I almost hate to say this but he’s gained a place in my heart, soul, and mind that makes it difficult for me to take issue with anything he chooses to do in his career. I find it difficult to scold anything he does too harshly because of what he represents to me. If he made a song that was rubbish for the sole purpose of being rubbish there would be something I could find that I liked about it I’m sure. Maybe it’s obsession but there’s nothing he could do wrong in my eyes because everything has such a deeper more symbolic level to it, like if I just hear that track one more time or, have one more glance at that painting or, re read that last chapter, it’ll click. Something in my brain will switch and unlock the door that takes me just a little deeper into wonderland. Maybe it is obsessive maybe I’ve been blinded by affection for all that he is that I can’t see the reality but think about that tears at my seams a bit. Someday his lifestyle will catch up with him or maybe the darkness that permeates his being, the darkness that brings light to my world will become too much of a burden to bare and it will bring an end to the most comforting symbol of my life. Admitting that stings, admitting that he will some day pass on, that he really isn’t immortal, that there will one day be a world with no marilyn Manson in it, breaks what ever is left of my heart, so when I hear new music it gives me something to savor and I try with all my might to find something enjoyable in it because it’s still tangible, he’s still tangible. New music means more tours and more tours means that there’s hope that the lovely, comforting dark embrace that is Marilyn Manson will live on to be a million and three years old just like Ozzy or Keith Richards or Robert Plant and I’ll never have to witness the day when that ends. When wonderland closes its doors.