Like Your Mother (San E xReader)

Requested by @jaekhyungie. I made it extra long for you cause I really did want to give San E justice, cause he is under rated in the khh blog community. Enjoy!

Originally posted by street-crush

You got pregnant when you had just turned 21. You thought it was the beginning of a fairytale with your beloved prince, but the prince turned to a rude frog that begged you to have an abortion. It wasn’t the baby’s fault for loving a man you shouldn’t, it was the root of a what you thought was a loving relationship, why would you cost it’s life for being irresponsible and naive?

You traveled back to Korea to live with your grandma, you loved your parents, the immigratted from Korea to give a better future to you and your siblings how could you not love them? But you had to get away, you wanted to start fresh. So a ticket in your hand, a few bags for your belogings,80$ in your pocket and a couch to sleep on your grandmas house, you and your baby where off to a whole different country.

When the little girl was born, luck decided to smile up to you. You stumbled upon a few artists when you were having fun at an open mic night and they gave you an opportunity to have an audition. One audition, that’s all you had and all you needed. San E took an interest in you as soon as you got signed to Brand New label and he became your mentor.

You loved San E, he was very dear to your heart and he helped you become the successful artist you are now. Someone that loved him more than you did was Areum, the three year old that you had as your daughter, she had grew up too fast for your liking but you couldn’t take your eyes from her. Her skin was getting in the shade of caramel as she got older, little pouty lips were forming to resemble to cherries, and her long chocolate hair went perfectly with her cat shaped eyes. She was able to walk and talk and run, she was your biggest belssing, you never hid her from the public, you were proud that you had such a beautiful human being to brighten up your day.


“Maybe we should change the hook a little bit, cause the way I hear it, it’s way too long. Should we stop it here?”

You asked San  from the booth as you showed him the papers through the glass. He was always a positive male figure in your life, your rock to depend on and to run to when you needed something, from a tiny favour, to a hug to cry in.

“We can try it, it’s up to you momma”

San replied with the usual soft smile that he always had with you. He called you that because you always loved to take care of others, you were used to it from being a mother at a young age, it became your second nature. San loved you, but it was not a friendly love, it was a love that he kept hidden from anyone, well he did leave some hints, hints that you couldn’t understand. He wrote “Story of someone I know” for you, he never told you because he was scared, he even tried to get a girlfriend but it did not work for him, she was good but she was not you.

“I think that’s good”

“Your phone is ringing”

You got out of the booth and took it from his hands. It was from your daughters school, they never called you… that was scaring you.


“Miss (l/n)?”


“Your daughter had an accident on the play ground. She hurt her head, we took care of it but she cannot stay here. She needs to rest”

“I- I understand, is she okay?”

“Yes, she is just scared”

“I’m coming right away. Thank you”

You hanged up the phone and runned around the studio to pick your stuff. San was now on his feet, looking at you with worried eyes.

“What happened?”

“A-Areum hurt her head. I have to go”

“Wait, I’ll drive you”


“Yes, you can’t drive like this. We will go together”

He had grabbed you by the shoulders to earn your attention.He was right, you couldn’t grab the steering wheel in this state, it was too dangerous. You nodded and he let you go to grab his keys and his phone.

“She must be so scared”




She jumped to your arms, still sobbing but her tears were dry, she had cried so much that she was out of tears to shed. You hugged her tightly feeling her shaking figure against your body made you feel a tad bit better.

“What happened?”

“She tripped and fell backwards, the cut wasn’t deep so she didn’t need stitches”

“Thank god. Thank you so much”

“It’s our responsibility”

“Let’s go home”

San told you and you nodded. You thanked the schools nurse for the 100th time and walked out of the school with her on your arms and San by your side.


She said and went to reach for him. San smiled and took her in his arms and gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

“Little princess, you are so strong, like your mother”

“She needs to sleep, I will have to wake her up to make sure she doesn’t get a concussion”

You talked to yourself as you opened the backseat door and San put her in and put her seatblet on.

“No, she deserves an ice cream”

He argued, earning an excited ‘yay’ from the tired girl. You hated this, San was always the fun one while you tried to stick to the script and get her in a programm.

“She needs to rest”

“She is resting, look at her she is sitting down”

“Please mommy”

“Fine, but a small one”

“Yay, high five little princess”

You giggled at the cute scene. Even though he was making her rebel from your structure, you were happy she was around.


“Did she sleep?”

“She was knocked out”  

You informed him as you slowly closed her door, trying to take one last look to make sure she was okay.

“Thank you for today, how can I pay you back?”

“Go out with me”


His blunt request caught you unguarded. You just stared at him, completely clueless about the situation and where this was getting at.

“Go out with me. I… want to take you out”

“I don’t understand”

“(y/n) i’ve been by her side for most of her life, i’ve been here for you on every step of the way. I want to be in this family, if you let me”

There were many times you thought of San as a member of this family, as your… partner. Areum did refer to him as 'dad’ plenty of times, not once you corrected her, you were guilty of pretending you didn’t hear it because it sounded so right.


“Come on (y/n), i’m better for both of you than any man you’ve dated. Even than her… real father”

“Alright, do I have to get all dolled up?”

“No, i’m taking you two to the new amusement park. She said she wanted to go and you like to overdose on candy”

- eh tra poco inizieranno a vendere le teste di cani e gatti congelate nei nostri supermercati
- … come?
- eh
- non ho capito
- eh tina, per i cinesi
- … in che senso?
- tina i cinesi, i CINESI se le mangiano, e capit mo?
- non proprio, perché proprio la testa e non la zampa? ma soprattutto, zio, dove l'hai letta sta strunzat?
- l'ho letta, l'ho letta, è inutile che sfotti, stanno tutti qua sti cinesi, cinesi e merd, e gli zingari e ‘sti immigrat

tratto da “il mio pranzo pasquale”
attivista del movimento 5 stelle, forza Italia nel cuore per tutto il ventennio berlusconiano, qualche immagine del duce qua e là, candidato alle comunali;
non capisco perché tanto clamore, se me l'avessero chiesto mesi fa avrei potuto già predire con certezza la congiuntura lega-casapound-m5s sul tema immigrazione e l'esito delle amministrative, tutto grazie a mio zio (a cui regalerò una testa di cane/gatto congelata appena saranno messe in commercio)

Real Life

On Saturday, I was at a Chase bank with my father. He’s trying to open a bank account for me. As the Chase representative was talking to me, my father was regurgitating his words to me so that they may be easier to understand. He felt compelled to do it because I had not been exposed to much real life. I appreciate my father more than anyone and I appreciate this gesture, but I wish he would get to know me in some areas. I get it. America is flooded with opportunity. So much so, that it is often left to rot in storm drains and empty parking lots. I’m sure he sees this and compares this to the third world state of his native Eritrea. A country he calls home and loves despite the turmoil, the bloodshed, the immense amount of hardship. When he tells me the full story (he’s been withholding until I reach the proper age), I’ll put it up on here. As hard as he tries to put me on equal footing, he cannot. I’m just some spoiled, excessively fortunate, little boy who grew up in a quiet suburb of Austin, Texas. I must be in need of mental bolstering. I must be frail. I’ll write this now, and I’ll find some way to communicate this to my dad in my inarticulate slurs one day, these years have been hard. I thank you for all that you have been done, but I’ll say it again, it has been difficult. I understand that there are probably realms of pain and just lacking that I will never be exposed to, and I’m thankful for that. But, dad, I don’t think you’ve done an effective job of sheltering me from real life, and if real life has been hidden from me, please end the fantasy. I’ve had to raise myself. Mom isn’t very emotionally stable. She cares, but three sons takes its toll on you I guess, (I still appreciate all that you’ve done for me, mom). Dad, you do your best, providing as much wisdom as you can within that yellow cage we call the family’s bread and butter, but it takes you away from us. I’ve faced much in the name of isolation and emotional damage in the line of duty of defending the right to be different. I have chosen academia as my place to do battle with my personal demons and the demons of this world, and recognize that I could have destroyed my life on multiple occasions if I just stopped valuing all that life has brought and all that it can still bring. I’ve been hungry. I’ve been soiled. I haven’t been sheltered. Dad, you’re an intelligent guy. You’ve wrought an intelligent son. If there is one scary thing about intelligence, it’s that it can strip down the false fronts and the false fronts that people flock to after they think they have ascended to the truth. It leaves you before a barren and cold place where it is upon you to add meaning. I guess that’s the largest reason why it’s been hard. My mind defaults to searching out ‘real life’.

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