I had an Interesting Weekend visiting family in SA and I want to talk about how forcing someone to performatively forgive another person’s behavior is fucked up and toxic, and what that pressure to forgive often looks like. I’ll be framing this with a wonderful anecdote made possible by my shitheel of an uncle. Long post, and my uncle is an asshole so, uncomfortable language.
There were numerous things that we refreshing about the introduction and development of Bob Newby’s character on season 2 of Stranger Things:
1. There are so many stories wherein the single mother keeps attracting “the wrong men.” Along with this, single mothers on screen partially take on the blame for attracting “the wrong men.” They do not do this to Joyce and Bob.
2. Bob Newby is in love with Joyce Byers, and this love and affection for her is not mocked. There are multiple instances of them being casually affectionate to one another, modeling positive adult relationships on screen.
3. Bob Newby shows genuine care and concern for Joyce’s children. He’s not just nice to them because he loves Joyce. He wants to include the boys into his life. He does family movie nights and gives advice. He accepts them as his own.
4. Bob Newby prioritizes Joyce and her children over his things and himself. He didn’t care that his video recorder was banged up. He cared about Will’s safety. He also actively put himself in danger to ensure Joyce and Will’s survival.
5. We skip all of the doubt and disbelief in the narrative. Bob accepts the reality of the situation, no matter how bizarre and “crazy” it is. He does not mock Joyce or her family. He immediately does what he can to be helpful.
6. The boys talk about him after the incident at the facility. He’s not gone and forgotten in one second. Bob Newby is mourned and remembered as an influential person in Hawkins who paved the way for the boys.
I loved this character not just because he was a really good guy, but because his character broke so many ridiculous tropes that just end up shaming families like Joyce’s for struggling through things.
This is how you write a good supporting character.
“European standards of beauty are something that plague the entire world-the idea that darker skin is not beautiful, that light skin is the key to success and love. Africa is no exception. When I was in the second grade, one of my teachers said, ‘Where are you going to find a husband? How are you going to find someone darker than you?’ I was mortified. I remember seeing a commercial where a woman goes for an interview and doesn’t get the job. Then she puts a cream on her face to lighten her skin, and she gets the job! This is the message: that dark skin is unacceptable. I definitely wasn’t hearing this from my immediate family-my mother never said anything to that effect-but the voices from the television are usually much louder than the voices of your parents.“
Question, what’s a gender neutral term for niece or nephew? Nibling? I think it’s nibling as in “the child of one’s sibling” but I am uncertain and wondering if there’s a better term. And Nathan is uncle to like, 50 of them, so it’d help to know.
Use the tag #pethood so I can check out your posts, and take a look at my YouTube channel where I’ll be posting my own gameplay!
No cheating unless it is for storyline purposes
Heir choice is entirely up to the player
Start on the smallest lot in Brindleton Bay
Purchase one tent then cheat funds to 0
Gen 1: A Sim’s Best Friend
Dog Lover, [your choice], [your choice]
After a series of poor financial decisions, you find yourself homeless. You decided to travel to a town called Brindleton Bay to see if you can start a new life there. You earned money by getting a job and selling fish you caught.
Place only a tent on the lot
Fish for money
Use public lots to satisfy all needs except sleep
Introduce yourself to strays you encounter
Choose one out of the strays and befriend it, do not adopt
Get a job
Once you are financially stable, adopt the stray
Become best friends with your pet
Make friends and fall in love
Have a child through adoption or biological means
Have your pet have puppies
Raise the puppies for a few days before giving them up for adoption
Reach top of your career
Gift the heir with a kitten once they become a young adult
Gen 2: Crazy Cat Lady/Guy
Cat Lover, Insider, Hates Children
Growing up, your household was filled with laughter and barks. You wanted to provide that kind of lifestyle for your children, just with meows instead of barking. With your new pet kitten, you decided to go into the city and start a new life.
Move into a small apartment in San Myshuno with your kitten
Join the social media career
Simstagram the kitten almost every day
Give the kitten its own room and pamper it
Fall in love with someone from the city
Move in together and have a child before becoming an adult
Avoid caring for the baby unless it is starving
Argue with partner whenever the baby cries
Break up and kick partner out of apartment
You thought you had found your perfect match. But love just brought you heartbreak and a child you never really wanted.
Adopt another cat
Name it after ex
Try to date again but fail
Adopt another cat and name it after the sim you pursued
Adopt a cat at random intervals after the child ages up from toddler
Be good friends with every cat
Never throw a birthday party for the child
Give the child the smallest room possible
Gen 3: What A Foxy Sim
Noncommittal, Hot-Headed, Dance Machine
Maybe it was because you were neglected as a child, but you constantly craved attention. Ever since you were a baby, your mother never even glanced at you. Her attention was always on those damn cats. You vowed to never be like her. In fact, you didn’t want to be part of this pet-obsessed family at all.
Leave the city as soon as you become a young adult
Despise your mother
Never introduce yourself to any family members
Work as a musician (or celebrity if you have road to fame)
Go to clubs/bars whenever you can
Never turn down an invite to a party
Flirt with random people, never become boyfriend/girlfriend
Go on dates every week, preferably with different people
Irresponsibly woohoo (risky woohoo or occasionally try for baby)
Once you are visibly pregnant stop going on dates
Pregnancy wasn’t something you wanted or expected. But you didn’t want a child to be neglected like you were. So you reluctantly decide to wrap up your partying days and settle down.
Move in with the person you have the highest romance bar with
Raise the child with them
Meet a little fox
Slowly befriend it
Never interact with a cat
Occasionally go on a date with someone other than spouse
Have child catch you cheating
Gen 4: I Want To Help
Cat Lover, Outgoing, Cheerful
Growing up, you had believed everything your mother told you. But seeing her cheat made you rethink everything she had ever said. You found out about your grandmother through her social media profile, and decided to fix everything that went wrong in your family.
Age up with high conflict resolution for mediator trait (Parenthood)
Be friends with grandmother and mother
Fix their bad relationship with each other
Have a large group of friends
Fall in love with a cat owner
Only start dating after learning traits
Marry and move out when your mother befriends the cat
Have multiple children
Love them equally
Try to give them good character values
You loved having a cat, and wanted to help all animals. So why not become a vet? Better yet, why not become a vet with your entire loving family?
Open a family vet clinic
Have it reach 5 stars
Adopt so there is always at least one pet in the family
If a pet becomes pregnant, keep as many pups/kittens as possible
Gen 5: Artistic Streak
Creative, Active, Family Oriented
Your parents taught you to give every life a chance. You loved animals dearly, and got along well with all (well, almost all) of your siblings. In your large family, there was never a silent moment. But you always felt like your life was lacking just a little bit of color…
Max creativity skill as a young child
Be friends with all siblings except one
If you want, you can sort out differences during adulthood
Join the painter career
Move into a small house/apartment
Adopt a cat and dog and give them custom paint
Paint pictures of your pets (paint by reference)
Frame at least one of each
When you become successful, move to a larger home
Meet someone while walking dog and instantly fall in love
Propose and marry very quickly
Adopt or conceive a child on wedding night
Throw extravagant parties for your child and spoil them
After they age up from a toddler, die from unnatural causes
Your death was a shock to the entire art industry. Your child was devastated and took days off school to just cry. And your spouse? Well, they weren’t actually too upset. Because all this time, they had just wanted your success.
Have spouse join the painter career
You can cheat so they become successful immediately
Repaint family pets
Spouse should not talk to the child unless absolutely necessary
Child grows up with perfect grades
Achieve at least two positive character value (parenthood)
Gen 6: Reach For The Moon
Jealous, Mean, Ambitious
Being the only child to a rich widow, you always got what you wanted. But it was never enough. You looked innocent at first glance, but you weren’t the nicest sim around. Anyone doing better than you made you jealous, and you could never get along with co workers. Your only goal was reaching the top of your career, and nothing was going to stand between you and your goal.
Work as a teen
Get perfect grades
Move out to a new neighborhood
Join the astronaut career
Haha get it? Shoot for the moon??
Be disliked by all co workers
Always complete the daily task, even when your needs are low
At level four of your career, join a random club
Befriend everyone except club leader
At level five, adopt a pet that is the same breed as a neighbor’s or co worker’s
Make it more unique or better dressed
Max the training skill
At level six, fall for someone with a spouse
Get closer and eventually make them leave their spouse
At level seven, propose
Your fiancee was pretty decent, but you wanted someone that would make everyone around you green with envy. So you decided to explore your options before fully settling down.
Flirt with other married sims
At level eight, leave your fiancee at the altar
Once you max your career, choose the most successful sim
Convince to leave spouse
Try to get twins (fertility trait, massages, or adopt two kids)
If you don’t get twins, just have two children and age them together
Always age up the twins on the same day
Favor one child over the other
Bigger room, more toys, etc
Gen 7: Not My Fault
Bro, Clumsy, Kleptomaniac
Ever since you were young, you felt like your twin was always favoured over you. You were always too loud, too sloppy, or too annoying. Even your classmates preferred your twin as a friend. So you turned to less… mainstream methods of becoming successful. But hey, it wasn’t you who wanted to go down this path. You just wanted acceptance. Right..?
Have no close friends throughout childhood
Make only one friend during high school
Fall for a classmate
Watch as twin ends up dating your crush
When you age up, move out to live with your twin
Lock yourself into your room whenever your twin throws a party
Your twin becomes successful in a publicly accepted career
Doctor, business, etc
Get a job in a similar career but quit after a few days
Your twin gets married to your crush and has a child
Move out when the baby becomes a toddler
Get a house with your high school friend
Adopt a raccoon
Hack for money
Steal items when funds are low
Max mischief skil
Sneak into twin’s house while he is at work
Seduce his/her spouse
Leave before he/she returns
Get caught cheating
Getting caught made you realize how selfish you had become. By now, your feelings for your highschool sweetheart were close to nonexistent. Gradually, you begin to understand who you had loved all along. Somebody who had been by your side since high school
End relationship with twin’s spouse
Start dating roommate
Go on unique dates (go to the gym, garden together, visit the lighthouse, etc)
Adopt a child, even if biological child is possible
Other children are optional
Raise raccoon and child(ren) very well
Shelter child(ren) from your past and the dangers of the world
Gen 8: At Death’s Door
Snob, Family Oriented, Insane
Your family was never struggling for money, nor rich. Your parents had always shielded you from the dangers and pains of the world, and that lead to a pretty bland childhood. During your high school years, you began realizing how limited your life actually was. You wanted more. You weren’t content with just a normal life. You wanted something more… exotic.
Stay out late and rebel since high school
Move in with your grandparents during teenage life stage
Adopt a robot dog (custom paint)
Have no curfew
Party often and have a large group of not so close friends
Date around, never get soulmate status
When one of your grandparents die, talk to the grim reaper
Fall in love with the grim reaper
Start trying to kill a sim to see the reaper again
Try to get one of the relationship bars to 50%
If you can’t make it after one sim death, keep killing sims
The sim is insane, so use any method
When you reach 50% in either friendship or romance
Add reaper to the household with cheats
Throw a lot of money into the wishing well (romantic garden)
Use the 1,000 simoleon option
Wish for a child
Try to get the overwhelmingly negative or death outcome
Treasure the child and raise him/her with the reaper
What were you thinking during your younger days? Dating the reaper of souls? Raising a child together? Strangely enough, you began craving the mundane life you wished to escape.
Break up with grim reaper, move him out
Begin dating a normal sim
Have a baby biologically or adopt
Get engaged, do not marry yet
Gen 9: Wished Upon
Evil, Loner, Foodie
Your mother abandoned your otherworldly father when you were young. Then she moved on to a boring old sim. You hated your sibling and your stepparent. You wanted your real family back.
Join the renegades as a child
Become enemies with stepparent
Stage an “accident” for stepparent
Meet up with your reaper father
Get parents back together
Become a chef
Live on the museum lot by the graveyard
Adopt a ghost pet and befriend random ghost animals
I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to a lot of things, but one of the ones that really interests me that I don’t think a lot of people necessarily think about is personal names: the set of names that identify individual human beings.
One of the common things I see in science fiction is names used to define alien races as being alien, by having them counter traditional English name structures (I imagine this is true in other languages as well, but I am less familiar). Tali’Zorah nar Rayya, G’Kar, Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan, Teal’c, etc. When names do resemble human names, the reason given is usually that their full length would be unpronounceable by humans, like Spock.
But the general similarity between all of these variations is that within the species, names are structured the same. Tali’Zorah nar Rayya is the daughter of
Rael'Zorah nar Rayya. G’Kar is a follower of G’Quan and has an aide called Na’Toth. Names are often used in SF not only to identify a species as alien, but identify them as a specific race of alien.
So what if that is, to a degree, true? What if humans encountered aliens who have a specific form of designation for each individual of the entire species? And then they have to deal with human personal names.
Human personal names are weird. There’s a general correlation between how they’re given within cultural groups, but those are by no means rules and when you have cultural groups intermingling, they can even cross.
Most English-speaking countries have three names: First, Middle, Last. First and Middle are distinct from Last. Last names are usually patrilineal and come from the father, but that’s becoming less true as more children take their mother’s last name and hyphenated dual last names become more prominent.
Speaking of dual last names, other cultures sometimes forego the Middle and have two Lasts instead. Spain, as well as many Spanish-speaking countries, has three names: First Patrilineal Matrilineal. So when Maria Alvarado Rodriguez and Diego Rubio Suarez have a child, they name her Inez Rubio Alvarado. But even that isn’t a rule, because recently women in Spain and other countries have taken to reversing the surname order of their children, like Inez Alvarado Rubio.
In Russian, you also have three names: First Patronymic Patrilineal. Nadezdha Valentinovna Petrov is the daughter of Valentin Igorovich Petrov. Irish Gaelic names appear as though they have three much of the time, but they’re really First and Last with a surname prefix of Ó/Ua or Mac for males and
Ní/Nic for females: Seán Mac Mathúna, Gráinne Ní Mhurchú.
First, though, is probably better referred to as a Given Name, because it doesn’t necessarily always come first. In Japanese, the Surname comes before the Given Name, so a name written in English format as Shinobu Sato would be more accurately written as Sato Shinobu. This is also true of Korean naming convention: during the 2014 Winter Olympics some American broadcasters referred to a South Korean figure skater as Kim Yuna, while her legal name under South Korean convention is Yuna Kim.
And names are so different across borders that often when people emigrate or relocate, they change their names to better interact with the host culture.
Ergo the stereotype of getting a new name at Ellis Island.
My mother’s family is primarily from Moscow and Western Russia, but none of their names sound it: Yulia is Julie, Svetlana is Vicky, Kirill is Kyle, etc. And they all have middle names, legally, but those “middle names” are actually their patronymics, which would be considered surnames in Russia. One of my friends is from Tanzania and goes by Amy because she doesn’t want people to butcher the pronunciation of her Swahili name; according to my African-American Lit professor who works with several Ghanaian academics, the same is true of people with Ashanti names.
That’s not even the most complicated part: we don’t even call each-other by our legal names most of the time. If we’re in a casual setting, we might call each-other by names that may have no relation to our given names. My friend’s birth name is Cynthia and we call her Ray. Plenty of people go by their middle names. And this is often from birth. Someone might name their child Robert, but most people don’t look at an infant and think “Robert,” so five minutes out of the delivery room he’s called Robbie or Bo or something else. My Spanish-language teacher is Basque but was born in a dictatorship when her parents weren’t allowed to name her Idoia - so they named her Maria Idoia and immediately dropped the Maria in general use.
I have at least four nicknames within my family alone: my immediate family calls me Kate, my aunt calls me Katie (and is the only one allowed to do so), and my grandmother calls me either Katya or Katousha, which are both Russian endearments.
And then we change them for a variety of reasons. We have gender-specific names, so people whose identity doesn’t correspond to their assigned gender will change their names to more accurately represent themselves. People change their names when they get married. People change their names when the name itself is besmirched somehow: hundreds of Adolfs became Alfreds and Alberts after WWII. People even sometimes change their names because they feel like it.
Any given human being has at least half a dozen names they go by. So you have poor T’Xao just trying to find the Human known as Katherine Elizabeth Jennings and getting responses like “Oh, Katie’s over in Engineering” and “Jen’s in the Dining Hall” and “I think I saw Lizzie heading toward Medical” and who are all these people and can they lead him to Katherine Elizabeth Jennings? T’Xao just wants the Engineering reports so he can show the Captain, this shouldn’t be this hard.
WHAT IF ▬ All of Fraction!Hawkeye happened 15-20 years before the MCU?
insp by: You know how sometimes you have a friend who’s kind of strange and maybe a little irritating and you can never quite get a handle on what their problem is, and then you meet a member of their immediate family, like someone they grew up with, and suddenly they make a whole lot more sense? I just imagine the other Avengers meeting Barney Barton and being like “…Oh”.
Some concepty blahs of Jason’s immediate family. They’re also sort of Aidrian and Frisk’s unofficial second family in a way. They helped Aidrian get up on her feet when she was kicked out of the house.
Dude, you are the most interesting person I've ever seen
I swear that I’m the least interesting person in my immediate family. For Instance:
My sister is raising a fruit bat and may or may not be dating the ace daughter of a UN Diplomat. We’re thrilled, and have invited her for thanksgiving.
My dad is a hobbyist but very, very good Document Recovery Specialist, and has been consulting with the FBI on something in Point Roberts, WA. We’ll have to wait until 2025 before he can tell us WHAT though.
My mother is one of the world’s only Botanical Scientific Illustrators that specializes in Algae. She’s consulting with several international preservation organizations to get their collections described, to the point where the Royal Botanic Garden in Sydeny AUS, is offering to pay her to fly over and help describe their collection.
For my 1000 followers prompt-a-thon, @stultiloquentia asked for some fiber witch Dex, due to my tags on this post. I’ve been fighting with this story for days, as a result, because it turns out I have so many thoughts about this, it was hard to wrestle them into a coherent story. Hopefully you’ll think it turned out okay!
College, Dex was finding, was both harder and easier to
navigate than he’d anticipated. Classes and hockey practice he’d expected, and
he mostly had a handle on those. But all the interpersonal stuff was…
Shitty thought it was because he was from a small town (and
Dex and Bitty had shared some long-suffering looks about Shitty’s assumptions
about people from small towns). Ransom thought it was because he was the first
person in his family to go to college (which wasn’t true, but he was the first
person in his immediate family to go to 1) a private college 2) outside of
Maine, so whatever). Holster thought it was because Dex joined him in his
hatred of 90% of the population (partially true; people were very annoying).
Chowder thought it was because Dex was stressed out (and then offered to help
him with his CS homework; a far more useful response, in Dex’s opinion). Nursey
just thought it was because he was a conservative asshole.
Shockingly, none of them ever thought to guess it was
because he was a witch living with people who didn’t know for the first time.
When I was in the second grade, one of my teachers said, “Where are you going to find a husband? How are you going to find someone darker than you?” I was mortified. I remember seeing a commercial where a woman goes for an interview and doesn’t get the job. Then she puts a cream on her face to lighten her skin, and she gets the job! This is the message: that dark skin is unacceptable. I definitely wasn’t hearing this from my immediate family - my mother never said anything to that effect - but the voices from the television are usually much louder than the voices of your parents.
-her grandma/nonna always told pidge not to curse but then five minutes later started cursing out the TV in italian
-dipping bread in oil olive is one of her favorite snacks
-i feel as though sewing is a very italian old lady thing????? idk it could have just been my grandmothers. but anyways. pidge can sew really well and her nonna taught her.
-pidge has a fucking HUGE extended family. like, almost as big as lance’s.
-her dad isn’t italian rather a mix of irish/british/welsh/whatever and because of that her last name is holt. her dad also doesn’t really know which culture to cling onto because of that, so that’s why her immediate family adopted the italian-american culture so fully.
-there’s like…..this de facto old rule in italian-american families that you have to marry someone who’s both catholic and italian. while a lot of italian-american families have dropped this ideaology, we still joke about it a lot so i can imagine that pidge would bring home her first girlfriend (who is an outerspace alien, of course) but then suddenly panics as she’s introducing her gf because she isn’t catholic or italian.
-pidge is like so fucking critical of pizza, pasta, meatballs, and gravy (sauce). like, she even said to hunk (the best cook she’s ever know) in the nicest way possible that his meatballs won’t ever compare to her nonna’s.
“ We’re moving on. But just because we’re leaving, and that hurts, there are some people who are so much a part of us they’ll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground. Our north star. And the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us. Always. “
What's the biggest and/or smallest pet your family has owned? (I'm guessing biggest was The Bear but if it was something else it has to be worth hearing about)
Arwen or “short bear” is only 55lbs and the second-smallest dog I’ve ever owned. The smallest is Charlie, who is only 51 lbs.
As for actual biggest and smallest, are we talking my immediate family or extended or “all the family pets I have record of” because those are different answers.
Biggest: Mazel the Wolf dog weighed in at about 120, though she had thyroid issues so she was also pretty fat.
Smallest: a feeder goldfish named “nickel” I won at a school fair. Mom and dad were appalled at the booth for giving out live animals like that, but he got his own very nice tank. He lived to be six years old and five inches long.
Biggest: when she was a girl, mom’s family had a “retired” Thoroughbred named Teddy, who was really fast but also neurotic and wouldn’t wear saddles. Mom used to ride him around the state parks of Northeast Ohio with a bridle and naught else, going full gallop on some of those trails.
Child safety was decidedly Darwinist in those days.
Smallest: At the same time, grandma was working in a grocery store and that urban legend about tarantulas in the bananas? That happened back then. Grandma had never been scared of spiders in her life, so she brought home “Chiquita” from the store and they kept her for about two years on a diet of crickets and the occasional cicada.
Smallest: cousin Addison who I may or may not be related to from Iowa keeps poison dart frogs. Apparently they’re only poisonous in the wild where they eat a certain kind of ant, so she likes to scare people by taking them out and putting them on her face for fun.
Biggest: During the great depression, many zoos couldn’t afford to feed Thier larger animals, so sometimes people would take them in rather than have the animals killed or left to starve. AZA regulations have gotten stricter since then, but for a few years, great uncle Francis had two Asian elephants named Lottie and Dottie on his Pasadena dairy farm.