I actually talked myself into having high self esteem again yesterday. I was lamenting to a friend the hassles that I have with trying to date while being me, and then I just kind of casually said “But if a woman can’t get past my gender stuff and my sexuality then that’s really her problem not mine” and then I was like “oooohhhh right!”

Day 1(again) of this up and down journey to healing and self love. I have to remind myself that healing is going to have its low points where my self destructive tendencies might win. That doesn’t mean I won’t pick myself up the next day and do what I can. Yesterday was a bad day and I need to focus on making my life revolve around myself and not the needs or life of others no matter what happened in the past. I’m not really healthy and around certain people not very stable either. So I have to do what I can to push myself into better spaces. Here’s to another start, hopefully with a little more momentum. 💅🏽😈✊🏾💪🏾🙏🏾🙅🏽🌈🏋🏾#brownqueer #nopostacabron #fuckdepression #health #healing #liftthepainaway #onedayatatime #immadome #notsorry #mejorsolaquemalacompañada #healthyqueers #healthiswealth

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The Amazing Race FINALE

Wooo that was the most exciting 1.5 hours of not studying for finals :)

The winners were a non-masculine gay male team that never won a single leg of the race until the final. I think that this means so much to many lgbt youth and adults alike. It definitely meant a lot to me that people who I can identify with on camera would win the race. 

Growing up, I’ve always been told that I’m never going to be first. Whether it had to do with my race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, body size, and what not. I’ve always fought for the meer acceptance of peers and the feeling of belonging because I just don’t always fit in. Seeing the winners of the Amazing Race this season was definitely a blessing in that I know that is possible for a non-masculine scrawny queer like me to actually succeed in something. 

Yeah, they narrowly escaped elimination 5 times in the race, but they kept going and kept fighting and it’s about time I do the same.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Been a rough week recovery-wise. The best decision I ever made was to recover, & as difficult as it can be sometimes, I know that I’m strong enough to pull through even when it feels like I’m getting nowhere & I want to give in. I’m a SURVIVOR & anyone who tells me otherwise can get tha fuckkkk out of my life. #immadoME 💃 In other news, my new training is fucking intense but I’m loving every moment & already making significant progress!! Excited to see where it takes me!

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😂😂 Trust me, all on twitter and Instagram getting the retweets of the week and likes of life, that’s the last time you gon’ get a text from me!!😂 #NotEvenAnEmail #DontCallMe #Offended #CallMeAndiWillBeLikethisIsPheWhoIsCallingPlease #InMyJobInterviewVoice #NumberDeleted #DoYouBooBoo #ImmaDoMe 😂😂😂

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